


Behind These Castle Walls

by The_Littlest_Raindrop, Zalkyria



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon)
Genre: Accidental meeting, Alucard Is A Pure Soul, Apples, Blood Drinking, Blow Jobs, Breast Fucking, Canon-Typical Violence, Death Threats, Did I mention blood drinking?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Genderbending, Honey, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Attempted Rape/Non-Con, RC is very Observant, Reluctant Alucard, Sexual Tension, Shoes, Slow Burn, Spoilers for season three, Trespassing, Trust Issues, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wedding Night Practice, Woman Dressing As Man For Safety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 48
Words: 198,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Littlest_Raindrop/pseuds/The_Littlest_Raindrop, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zalkyria/pseuds/Zalkyria
Summary: After trying to steal from a merchant, you'd fled into the forest, terrified of being caught.Travelling deeper into the ancient woods than intended, you meet a mysterious stranger, who gives you a simple warning: stay away or die. In exchange for your life, you'd promised him he'd never see you again.This is the story of how you broke that promise, in the most spectacular of ways.
Relationships: Alucard (Castlevania)/Reader, Alucard | Adrian Tepes | Arikado Genya/Reader
Comments: 851
Kudos: 1621





	1. The Stranger In The Woods

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,
> 
> So, I binged the Castlevania series in a few days, and now I'm a broken woman. Poor Alucard...
> 
> That's why me and my good friend Zalkyria spend three hours brainstorming a way to fix this. Here is the result of that, lovingly crafted. Or at least, the first chapter, with more to come soon.
> 
> I'll be updating tags as the fic goes on, but I'll also get you all know if I think there's any specific things in each chapter that might be a bit... problematic (It'll never be too graphic, but I feel a warning is important)
> 
> And with that... Have at you!

Run.

That’s all you can think right now. Run, and whatever you do, don’t let them get you.

The forest feels impossibly hard underfoot, the roots from the trees poking out in several places. You’ve tripped many times already, the holes in your shoes snagging on the natural hazards. How long have you been running now? Hours, that much is certain. Are they still chasing you? How far into the woods is too far for them to follow? You’ve never been in this deep before yourself, and you’ve lived near these woods your whole miserable life.

Like so many others, you’d been left alone in this world far too soon. Your mother had died during childbirth, and your father had followed only a few years later, some unknown sickness eating away at him. Your neighbours had been oblivious to your plight, too busy worrying about whisperings of witches and demons to pay any attention to a frightened little girl. Stealing to survive wouldn’t have been your first choice, but what else was there? You’d been too young to work, and honestly, who would have hired a half-starved child? So you’d stolen. Food, fabrics, anything you’d needed to survive, but never anything more. There’s never any point in taking more than you need; that just invites others to take from you.

Today, all you’d tried to take was an apple. The merchant hadn’t been best pleased.

It’s unfair. How could one man gather a group together to chase down a thief in a matter of moments, but that night when you’d screamed for help…

You clench at your chest, your binding chafing against your skin thanks to your constant movement. Posing as a man has probably made people even less sympathetic to your cause, but it’s the safest thing to do. At least if you’re caught, the worst thing they’ll do is beat you to death. You’ve had one too many close calls with men trying to do more than that, without you taking anything from them; you’re just lucky that ale had made their movements sluggish enough to avoid, even if you’ve never been taught how to fight.

With your legs threatening to buckle from exhaustion, you risk stopping for a moment, taking a few breaths and listen. A bird, a fox, a stream… but no sound of incoming footsteps. You’re not sure when the men gave up, but you can’t hear them now. Good. It means you might finally have a few moments to rest.

Leaning against a nearby tree, you allow yourself to properly survey the area. You’re no expert on trees, but this forest looks old. Untouched. Far enough away from town that nobody has ever been here before, although you think you’d seen evidence of a fire a way back. The stillness here feels unnatural, even if it’s closer to nature than any town or city. Yet it still feels as if something is off about this place. It’s almost as if you’re being watched…

Maybe you shouldn't stay here, after all.

With your breathing finally even, you think of a plan. You can still hear that stream nearby, so that has to be worth looking at. When was the last time you’d had any water? If the stream is clean enough, then taking a drink from it would be a good idea. After that, you could see if there’s anything in the forest you can eat. Once you’re fed and watered, you should head back into town. Those idiots never recognise a face. They probably have no idea what you even look like. It was the principle of the thing that drove them to give chance, but their principles are so very fleeting… you’ve escaped more than one beating by running away and slipping back discreetly, and no one has recognised you yet. 

With the loose threads of a plan in your mind, you walk in the direction of the stream cautiously, listening out for any threat. Well, that and a potential future meal. You don’t have any kind of blade on you, so a furry creature is out of the question. A bird might do, if you can catch one. There might even be fish in the river! Surely you can find a sharp stick somewhere here? You’ll need several sticks come to think of it, if you want your meal cooked. If there are any dry stones by the river, they’d come in handy for making a firepit of sorts; the last thing you want is to set the whole woodlands ablaze!

You’re so busy thinking of your next meal, stomach growling in unconcealed delight, that you almost don’t see the bodies.

At least, you think they’re bodies, but it’s hard to tell at this distance. They seem to be… impaled on something, no doubt a grotesque warning to any would-be intruders. You’ve heard talk in the past of nobility doing things like this, but you never thought you’d actually see it. Why the lord or lady that resides in the castle even bothered is beyond you though; in these violent times, the building itself is far more imposing than any corpses could ever be. Lingering here is not an option, then. You might have to forget about that meal. Still, you need water, and if you pass up the chance to drink from the stream…

Fuck it. Ending up on a spike surely has to be better than slowly dying of thirst.

Deliberately distancing yourself from the house, you hear the noise of running water growing louder. Any hesitation you might have had about the forest falls away as you catch sight of it, the stream; it’s so clear. You can make out the shapes of fish in the water, and as you draw closer, you’re sure you can even see the rocks at the bottom. Are you dreaming of this? How can water this fresh remain so untarnished? There’s not a single hint of human tampering!

Well, you’re about to ruin that. Falling to your knees, you start scooping up water with your hands, the accumulated grime from god knows how long turning the water brown. That isn’t enough to stop you from taking another handful, almost crying at how clean it tastes. How far along does this run? Is there a way you could drink from it further up stream? The more you can distance yourself from that house…

A twig snaps behind you, and you freeze; someone is behind you. Trembling with fear, you force your head to look at your would-be assailant.

You almost laugh when all you see is a bunny sat twitching its nose at your curiously.

With no way to kill or prepare the small beast, you turn your attention back to the river looking to get a few more sips before you leave this place.

You don’t register the hand grabbing the back of your neck until your nose hits the water, your body parallelized by the stranger’s strength. This is it. This is how you die, swiftly and silently, in the middle of the woods, by the hand of a total stranger. You only hope it doesn’t hurt too terribly...

The stranger’s voice is low, and it sends shivers of fear down your spine. ‘What are you doing here, boy? Did you come to steal from me?’ You want to tell him that you’re not a boy, that you’re a grown-ass man, but you don’t think he’d appreciate having to argue semantics with a trespasser.

There’s a part of you that wants to beg for your life, but what good would that do? If this man really wants you dead, to display your corpse as a warning, then no amount of pleading will work anyway. It seems almost unfair, knowing that your death will ultimately contain the purpose you’ve been missing your whole life.

Doing your best to stay calm, to make peace with death, you answer the stranger’s questions. ‘I was chased here, that’s all. I didn’t realise anyone lived out here. I was planning to take a drink from the stream, then leave. I’ve already tried to steal one thing today. I’m not here to make that mistake again so soon.’ Shit, that was too honest. Is this man going to punish you in your pursuer's stead perhaps? Worst still, is he going to march you back to the village and hand you over? Strangulation or beating to death… can he not just bash you over the head with a rock and have done with it?

The stranger hums, his grip slackening slightly. ‘So you really are a thief. What did you try to steal?’ What does that even matter? Surely a thief is a thief no matter what the prize?

Still, you answer him. ‘An apple. I tried to steal an apple, but I wasn’t quick enough and they saw me, so I ran.’ 

The stranger’s grip becomes lighter still, to the point you’d almost be tempted to wriggle free. ‘Is that all? You’re not a terribly ambitious thief, are you? Give me one good reason I should believe your story, and not just kill you here and now.’ He’s not the first person to ask you such a question, but he might just be the last if you can’t think of something to say.

Sighing, you close your eyes, savouring your last few moments of life. ‘I don’t need ambition, I need food. As for my life, you might as well take it, because I’m not sure I can give you a reason not to. Just know that what I said is true. I was chased here, and I really didn’t know about you or your castle. I just didn’t want them to hurt me.’ You take in a deep breath, the air so pure around the water. At least you had that drink before you went. How many people in the town can say they’ve tasted clean water?

To your surprise, the stranger removes his hand entirely.

Even without his hand keeping you in place, you remain still, too afraid to move just yet. Is he letting you live? Is this some kind of trick? Why has he let you go?

Too afraid to open your eyes, you hear a sigh. ‘Fine. Just this once, I’ll believe you. Your story seems far too convenient to be a lie. Today, you get to walk away with your life, but should I find you here again, I will kill you. Make no mistake about that.’ How is this happening? You honestly get to walk out of here with your life? This total stranger is willing to spare a man he’s known for a few seconds? A vagrant, a nobody…

Fighting the urge to cry, you work up the courage to look at the stranger, and have to choke back a gasp. You never thought you’d meet a man that could be considered beautiful, but here he is his, his lithe frame crouching beside you. His skin is so pale, like he’s cut from stone rather than flesh, but that only accentuates the sharp shapes in his face. You’d be tempted to call his flowing hair golden, were it not for his eyes. You’ve never seen eyes like his before, so bright yet somehow lifeless. He has the eyes of a man who has either seen too much or lived too long. Perhaps it is both. Either way, there is no denying that his man is quite beautiful. It’s just a pity he makes such ugly threats.

You turn your eyes to the ground, hoping he didn’t notice your staring. You’ve heard how the people of the town treat men who lust after other men, and you don’t want to give the stranger a reason to change his mind. 

Swallowing to try and focus your attention inwards, you answer him. ‘You have my word, I won’t trouble you again. This was a genuine mistake, and I’m sorry. I won’t tell anyone about you or this place, and I’ll stick to the outskirts in future. You’ll never see me again.’ It might make running away difficult in future, but at least you won’t die… probably.

Satisfied, the stranger places a basket between you, pulling an apple from its depths before handing it to you. ‘Here. Since you failed so spectacularly to liberate someone else’s apple, you may as well take mine. I dislike the way the skin sticks in my teeth, in any case.’ You stare at the piece of fruit in your hands, pure disbelief running through your mind. He’s just giving you this? You, who trespassed on his lands and drank from his stream? The one he was planning to kill only a few heartbeats ago?

You stare wide-eyed at him, any thoughts of propriety gone. ‘Is this poisoned?’ That would make sense. Lure you into a false sense of security, then collect your body when the cursed apple has done its job.

The stranger glares at you, and you begin to wish you hadn’t said anything. ‘Technically, but not enough that you’ll die. It’s just a regular apple. Do with it what you wish, for it’s no concern of mine.’ Now you really do feel shitty. This is a poor way to repay his kindness.

Plagued by guilt, you offer the apple back to him, stomach howling in protest. ‘I’m sorry. I’m not used to being given food. Here, you have it. I’m not sure I deserve it.’ You’re sure you’ll find something in the forest. Maybe he’d be willing to let you catch something before you leave?

With his brow slightly furrowed, the stranger frowns, pushing your hand back towards you. ‘It’s only an apple. I fail to see why this is such a big thing, especially considering that I spared your life a moment ago. Besides, while accusing me of poisoning you is terribly rude, refusing a gift is ruder still. Take the apple, and leave this place. You might even find more on the way out, if you’re lucky.’ You’re shaking again, but for different reasons. No one has ever just given you anything just for the sake of giving. Why does the only kind person in your life happen to be the one that you’ll never see again?

Finally standing, it’s no surprise when he stands too, his frame towering over yours. Looking at his slim yet muscular frame compared to yours, it’s no wonder he thought you were young enough not to be considered a grown man; eating regularly must be a nice feeling.

Apple in hand, you nod once, already mentally planning your route back to the village. ‘Thank you for the apple, and for my life. I meant what I said, I really won’t trouble you again.’ You hesitate a moment, almost tempted to tell him your name, before realising that doing so would blow your cover completely. Still, it’s a shame you’ll never get to know the stranger’s name…

The stranger nods. ‘I know better than to trust people at their word. Still, I think you’ve seen enough in life to know when a threat is genuine. We won’t be seeing each other again. At least, you won’t see me again.’ The ghost of a feeling haunts your neck, and you know exactly what he means; you’d be dead before you knew he was there.

With a small nod, you head back towards the village, fighting the urge to look back. Instead, you bring the fruit in your hands to your lips, relishing the fresh juices unleashed the moment your teeth break the skin.

As you walk further away from the stranger, you smile when you see specks of red in a nearby tree; the stranger was right, you did find more. Then again, he probably knew that, these forests clearly his regular haunt.

As you carefully pull off a few apples for your journey, you think back to the bodies on the spikes. What could drive the man that showed you kindness to kill and display people like that? He seems such a reasonable man, from what little can be inferred from your conversation. Were they perhaps thieves, genuine ones, hence his certainty that you had come to rob him? Did he think you an accomplice? That would explain much. These are violent times indeed. You almost dread to think what he would have done if he’d found out that you’re a woman.

With enough food to satiate your hunger for a day or so, you leave this place, trying to forget all about the kind stranger.

It’s not like you’ll ever see him again, after all. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard stares after the man he found drinking from the stream, fighting the urge to call them back. He mightn’t have fought that urge at all, had the man arrived before Taka and Sumi. Not now though. Now he has learnt his lesson, and understands the perils of allowing himself to grow attached to strangers.

In truth, Alucard was in two minds when he wrapped his hand around the stranger’s neck. Part of him had wanted to kill him and have done with it, but another part of him was curious. He’d heard the unmistakable sound of running, too loud for him to ignore, and it made him wonder; what kind of man would run so deep into the woods like that?

The thing that ultimately stayed his hand was the man’s neck itself. Of all the things he was expecting, Alucard wasn’t expecting that cylindrical chunk of flesh and bone to be quite so… frail. He could feel the young man’s bones against his palm, the muscles that should have been so prominent in a young man reduced to next to nothing. Had Alucard made a mistake, and grabbed a child? The stranger seemed older, an adult, but holding that neck had given him pause. Murdering an adult is one thing, but a child… at least adults have greater control over their actions.

He’d been expecting the intruder to beg for his life, as all men do in situations like this. There had even been a part of Alucard expecting the young man to wet himself at the mere thought of death. Yet he’d answered the questions presented to him calmly, as if his life wasn’t at stake. He’d given his explanation in such a civil and level tone that it piqued Alucard’s interest. Where was crying and the pleading? That had settled it that the stranger was indeed a grown man; he’s never yet met a child so at peace with their own mortality.

Then again, he hasn’t exactly met many children.

A few words were all it took for Alucard to give the stranger the benefit of the doubt. A customary scan of the stranger’s body showed no visible weapons, and his clothes were so riddled with holes Alucard doubted there was any chance of one being concealed. A lost peasant then, one that truly had avoided an angry merchant or the like. An honest mistake, if such a thing exists.

That had been enough to make up Alucard’s mind. No death today, save for whatever poor creature he decides he wants for dinner. If the man is willing to walk away, he will do so unharmed.

Alucard stops reminiscing when he sees the man slip through the trees and out of sight, the chance to call him back now lost. It’s almost a pity. Stealing apples is no way to get through life. He really should have at least given the man something more substantial, like a fish. He could have easily handed the man his basket, encouraged the stranger to fill it with all the bounties of the forest, but he didn’t. That would have been too much. The man would have returned, knowing this place is an easy way to fill his hungry stomach. They would have seen more of each other, gotten on good terms. Alucard would have finally given in, and invited the man into his castle. They’d eat, and drink, and discuss all the wonders of the castle before it all went up in flames again, just as it had the last time he let someone get close to him. He’d even seen a flash of something in the man’s eyes as he’d looked upon Alucard for the first time, a look Alucard now knows all too well. That man could have so easily found his way into Alucard’s private chambers, and he would be done just as the others had.

He would have given Alucard a taste of heaven, before trying to send him to hell, and the son of Dracula is already sick of cleaning the blood of those he once loved from his ancient halls.

Even if he had not been as accommodating as he once might have been, there is nothing to say the man will not return. Humans are curious creatures by nature, and Alucard must seem a most interesting mystery.

Alucard sighs gently, picking up his basket. He can’t go back on his own word now. If the man intrudes again, he will kill him. He can show no weakness, not when such a thing is apparently so easy to exploit. He has to accept that he can trust no one. Even Trevor and Sypha will no doubt turn on him when they notice Taka and Sumi’s corpses at his door.

Ultimately, loneliness is the fate for all people. Alucard should know that better than anyone.

At least he still has those dolls.


	2. I'm Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Content warning! This chapter contains violence towards the RC. While we've tried to avoid making it too graphic, it does happen, and therefore we're giving you all fair warning. We'd also like to apologise for this, but we promise, it gets much better.
> 
> With that said, enjoy ^.^

Staring into the stream in his search for dinner, Alucard can’t shake the memory of his strange visitor.

A month has passed now since that day, and so far, the man has kept his word. Alucard hasn’t caught wind of a single human within a mile of his domicile, the animals of the forest being the only living things he’s encountered. It puzzles Alucard to no end; he had been so certain the man would come back.

Perhaps the man is dead? He didn’t seem to have much life in him when last Alucard saw him, his body made of little more than bone. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to assume his visitor had eventually succumbed to starvation, or dehydration, or some horrid disease he didn’t have the coin to seek treatment for. Not that the people in the nearest town would know the first thing of medicine or treatment; they can’t even remedy their own ignorance, never mind curing the sick.

Alucard feels the slightest pang of regret in his chest. Should he have intervened, after all? It’s what his mother would have done, certainly. If she could see him now, see how he refused to help a starving man, would she hate him? Would she understand his reasons for wanting to keep the stranger at bay? He’s beginning to wish the stranger would break his promise and come back anyway, just so he knows for sure…

Staring into the river, Alucard sees the fishes swirling before his eyes, but he can’t bring himself to reach out and take one. Instead, he watches as his tears cause the water to ripple, the thoughts of his mother still too much for him. He can almost feel her presence in the castle’s ancient corridors, her voice echoing off the stone. Is he going mad with grief? Will he end up like his father, so twisted by betrayal and mourning that he loses sight of who he is?

His emotions threatening to overwhelm him, Alucard breathes in heavily through his nose, focusing on the forest around him. His nostrils flare when he catches a whiff of something in the river, the smell something he’s intimately familiar with; blood. Human blood. Someone is wounded nearby, somewhere up river. They’re too far away for Alucard to tell how bad it is with any certainty though. Maybe some fool tried to cross the stream with too much haste, and cut themselves on a rock? It shouldn’t really concern him. They’re probably fine.

Alucard’s heart drops into his stomach when he notices blood in the river. For blood to be so much that it shows in the river like this…

This is no accident, or if it is, it’s serious.

Abandoning his basket, Alucard moves with supernatural speed towards the source of the blood. He tells himself that he’s just satisfying his curiosity, but that is a lie. Part of him thinks he knows exactly what he’s going to find, but he needs to know for sure.

When he reaches the source of the blood, his heart stops; his assumption was correct.

He knows the man barely clinging onto life in the stream.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Shit. This is bad. This is really bad.

You can feel your chest aching, body struggling to take in air. You would think you’d be used to running by now, but this is different.

This is the hardest you’ve ever had to run, and it’s still not fast enough.

It doesn’t help that you don’t have shoes any more, the last pair broken beyond any kind of repair. That’s the whole reason you’re in this stupid mess, running barefoot in the forest, trying to stay one step ahead of your perusers. All you’d wanted was a pair of old shoes, a pair that were being tossed out anyway! But no, apparently even the second hand goods of the villagers are too good for you.

The forest floor starts to feel a little wet. Are you bleeding? You can’t tell. You can’t even tell if your feet even hurt, the rest of your limbs crying out in pain. Surely they can’t keep going either?

You only wish you could run deeper into the forest, where your smaller frame would have been a welcome advantage amidst the tightly packed trees.

The sound of the stream fills your ears. Can the stranger see you from here? You can’t see his castle, so you must still be very much on the outskirts. At least you’re keeping your promise to him. He’ll never see you again, even if you so desperately want to see a familiar face right now.

When the water comes into view, you walk right into it, the stream so shallow here that it barely covers your ankles. They won’t follow you across. Surely they wouldn’t want to get their feet wet just to punish a failed thief. You just need to make it past the water, and then you’ll be free!

The damp rock underneath your foot shifts, throwing your whole body off kilter. Instinctively, you reach out to break your fall, but it’s too little too late; one of your palms splits open on a particularly sharp rock, and your head hits something far more solid than the forest floor.

Looking around you, the whole forest seems to be spinning. The trees and the ground all merge into one indistinguishable mess, save for one detail; a dark mass is clearly approaching, their laughter audible even through your haze. They’re coming closer, too close. You need to stand, to keep running.

Trying to stand proves to be a big mistake; one of your legs gives way completely, the angle of the fall doing something to one of your ankles. Crawling it is then. Moving onto all fours, you crawl away from the shadows, silently begging them to take pity on you.

That’s when you feel it; the force of someone stomping on your wounded ankle.

Crying out in pain, a voice calls out to you. ‘Nowhere to run now, you little bastard. Think it’s right, stealing from honest folk like us? Too lazy to get a job, is it? Or do you just expect people to give you things for nothing? I think it’s time someone put you in your place, brat.’ He kicks you in the stomach then, and you double over in pain, closing your eyes tightly as the other men approach.

As you begin to feel them all taking it in turns to kick you, you start to cry silently, wishing one of them would just kill you already. You should have gone deep into the woods, found the stranger again. At least he would have killed you quickly. Not this. He wouldn’t have beaten you to death like this, with each kick bruising or cracking your body.

Still, at least they think you’re a man. Your death would have been much worse if they knew the truth.

You consider crying out for mercy or help, but you can’t. No one would come. No one ever comes. The only person to have ever shown you kindness is not here, and even if he was, you swore he’d never seen you again. You’d like to keep that promise to him, not just because he might kill you, but because for once in your miserable life, someone treated you as a human being. At least you can go to your death knowing that even if for a fleeting moment, someone saw you as more than just a piece of filth.

You’re barely conscious when the beating finally stops. You’re vaguely aware of your blood staining the stream as your life slowly ebbs away, the men laughing again as they all spit on you.

Their leader speaks again. ‘Shit. Looks like we went too far. I don’t think he’s getting up again, boys. What do you think? Should we bury him, at least?’ You’d scream at that, if you only could. Of all the ways to die, buried alive in the woods has to be the very worst; maybe you’ll get lucky, and lose consciousness completely before that point.

A man kicks your legs, the pain of it barely registering. ‘Fuck that. This bastard isn’t worth the effort. I say we just leave him here to rot. I’m sure some forest beast will enjoy picking his bones clean.’ You can’t tell if that’s better or worse than being buried alive. Then again, at least this way, your death might actually mean something. Better feeding the animals than spending eternity in an unmarked grave.

A few grunts of acknowledgement later, and you hear the men walk back towards the village, leaving you to die alone, the cool water the only kind of comfort to be found.

You try to sit up, but not even your arms cooperate. You can’t move at all, your body too weak and too damaged. If you don’t succumb to your injuries, you’ll die when the sun sets, and the cool night air makes you catch a chill. Why did it have to be this way? All you wanted was a pair of shoes. Was that really worth killing you over?

The very worst part of it is knowing those men will never face justice for this. They’ve taken a human life, and they’ll never be held accountable. Of all the monsters you’ve heard tales of, those men have to be the worst monsters of all.

You open your eyes to take a final look at the world, trying to find solace in its beauty. You feel like you might sleep now, for a while. Maybe forever…

A shadow approaches, and for a fleeting moment, you think it’s one of your assailants, come to take pity on you. Yet this shadow is too tall and too thin to be one of your attackers. It seems almost familiar somehow. Comforting. Like you’ve met before…

Golden eyes pierce into yours, and you start crying all over again; you couldn’t even keep your fucking promise, could you? Your last act on this Earth was denying the only request of the kind stranger, and that hurts more than anything else.

You somehow find enough strength to utter out a single word. ‘Sorry.’ Struggling to breathe, you allow your eyes to flutter shut for what is sure to be the last time.

Hopefully the next life will grant you far more peace than this one.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard clenches his fists tightly, looking at the battered body in the water. Who did this to him? Why? Did he attempt to steal something again? Is this the price that hunger and desperation has forced him to pay? He’s not even wearing shoes! What happened here?

He’s tempted to chase after any perpetrators, when his attention is caught by a faint ‘sorry’, slipping from the young man’s lips. Who is he apologising to? Is he mistaking Alucard for someone? What reason would he have-

Oh. Oh no.

The promise. The vow the young man had made a month ago. He promised Alucard that their paths would never again cross. Is that why he didn’t run deeper into the forest seeking aid? Or trying to avoid his pursuers? Was he concerned that he’d avoid death at their hands, only for Alucard to kill him for trespassing?

Alucard is quick to dismiss that last thought. This is a man that does not fear death, or has at least come to terms with his own mortality. If he knew these men had planned to kill him, he would have sought a swifter death at the hands of the stranger who had threatened him in the woods.

A revelation hits him so fiercely he says it out loud. ‘He didn’t avoid me because he feared I would kill him. He avoided me because he gave me his word that he would.’ The man is unconscious now, his breathing laboured. He’ll be dead by morning if Alucard leaves him here. Nobody else will come looking for him, that much he is certain of. Alucard is the only chance this man has of seeing the next sunrise.

The only question is should he help at all? If he takes this man into his home, allowing him to invade his life, it will only end in heartbreak for the half-vampire, the same way it always does. Yet is this not Alucard’s fault? Had he only told the man he was free to return to the woods, as long as he stayed well away from the castle, this wouldn’t have happened. A man is dying at his feet, and he is surely just as guilty as the one who caused all the breaks and bruises.

A compromise then. He’ll tend the man’s wounds, save his life, but the moment he can stand, he’s on his own. Alucard won’t stand for someone else toying with his heart like it is some kind of sick game. If the man refuses to leave, Alucard will drive him out by force.

Settling on his decision, Alucard carefully scoops the injured man into his arms, heart lurching when he takes note of how little he weighs. At least if he manages to cling onto life, he’ll have a few good meals in him before he leaves the castle.

Summoning all the speed that he dares, Alucard runs back to the castle, keen to begin treatment as soon as possible.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard places the man in the closest bed he can find, the possessions of its former occupant still cluttering up the room. One of Dracula’s generals, perhaps? It matters not. The most important thing right now is that he gets the man undressed, the wet clothes diminishing his chances of survival with each passing moment.

Keenly aware of the time pressure, Alucard decides the fastest thing to do would be to just rip the clothes off. They’re more hole than cloth anyway, and so saturated with blood that they’re beyond saving. Sparing no thought for the man’s modesty, Alucard grabs the stranger’s shirt and tears it in two. He’s about to pull it off completely when a scrap of fabric that covers the man’s chest catches his eye. It looks like… Oh. That explains a lot. It would appear that Alucard was wrong. He is dealing not with a young man, but with a young woman. No wonder the stranger is far slighter than any man Alucard has ever met. She must have been concealing her gender for some reason. Safety, most likely. Alucard dreads to think what state he might have found her in if her attackers had known the truth of her identity…

While her gender is unimportant right now, the fabric binding her chest is a problem. It’ll only serve to exacerbate any damage to her ribs, and make breathing unnecessarily difficult. It has to go, same as everything else. She probably won’t thank him for this, but he tears that off too, exposing her chest completely. He can always replace it at a later date. He’ll have to replace all her clothing, come to think of it. Maybe he should have been more careful…

Top half bare, he makes a start on her trousers, wincing when he notices the state of her feet. She won’t be walking on them for a while, a thought only further solidified when he notices the swelling in one of her ankles. Whoever did this is a monster, and should spend the rest of their life praying that he never discovers their identity.

With the woman now totally nude, Alucard tears the binding up, using it to stem the flow of blood from the larger wounds. Covering her body with a sheet, he leaves to fetch some supplies. For now, the best thing he can do is clean and bandage her wounds, stitch up the bigger gashes, and find her something to sleep in. While the medicinal items are easy to locate, clothing is proving to be more difficult. The only other woman Alucard has known to walk these halls is his mother, and he refuses to give her clothes to a stranger. There might be something belonging to one of Dracula’s generals here that fits, but he doesn’t have time to search for them. Something of his, then. Something smaller though…

He doesn’t have time to waste. Reluctantly, but with an air of urgency, Alucard ventures back into his old room, deliberately ignoring the burnt rug. He digs out something old of his, a shirt he hasn’t worn since he was a teenager. It looks big enough for his guest. It’s better than nothing, at the very least.

Wanting to be as far away from his childhood bedroom as possible, Alucard rushes back to the woman, who still has yet to regain consciousness. He sets about treating the more severe wounds first, making sure they’re clean before neatly stitching them shut. She’s going to have a lot of scars after this, if she even pulls through. The worst wounds dutifully tended, Alucard works on wiping down the rest of her wounds, applying medicine when he’s satisfied with their cleanliness. Finally, the bandages go on, further lowering the chance of infection. He’ll have to change her bandages regularly, but he can manage that.

Now that he’s certain she won’t bleed out, he takes the chance to examine her properly. The sight of her beaten and starved body makes him feel sick to his stomach. There doesn’t seem to be a single inch of her that isn’t covered in bruises. She almost certainly has several broken ribs to match her broken ankle. It could be months before she’s well enough to leave here, even taking her injuries out of the picture. He’s personally amazed she’s still alive, her malnourished form looking as if a strong breeze would be enough to snap her like a twig. She seems to have a head wound too, something Alucard knows to be wary of. It’ll be impossible to know the true extent of any damage she’s sustained until she regains consciousness, if indeed she ever does…

Pushing that terribly morbid thought to one side, Alucard dresses the woman in his shirt, making sure to avoid as many injuries as he can. When he’s certain he’s done all that he can to make her comfortable at least, he places her into the bed itself, the thick quilt hopefully enough to compensate for any chill she may have received.

Before he leaves to make a start on cooking, Alucard snatches up the tattered remains of her clothes, searching them for anything of value before he discards the ruined fabric. He’s not at all surprised when he finds nothing at all, save for a single item; an apple seed. Did she intend to plant this, or is it perhaps to remind her of her promise? It’s irrelevant now, but he places it on a nearby table anyway. It is technically all that she owns now, save for the old shirt he’s given her.

Leaving the room, Alucard makes a mental note to ask for her name, if she ever wakes up again. If she really is now stuck here for months, he might as well learn it.

He only hopes she doesn’t panic too much when she realises where she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we hope that wasn't too bad, and that you enjoyed it. The next chapter will be more RC-focused, but due to the events of this chapter, it was necessary to do this largely from Alucard's POV.
> 
> Hopefully we haven't put anyone off with this chapter. We hope you enjoyed it, and if you did, we hope to see you next chapter too ^.^
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. The Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> No real warnings this time. A few mentions of injuries, but nothing worse than the last chapter
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

The next time you open your eyes, the world is still a blur, but it feels different somehow. There’s no green or brown, or even blue. Come to think of it, you don’t feel wet either, or cold. Did you die in that stream? Is this heaven, or hell? You’re not certain. You’re not certain of anything right now…

You try to sit up, and your body cries out in pain. Not dead, then. Death is supposed to be the end of all pain. If you’re not dead though, where are you? Did someone find you? Did a beast drag you off to its lair? It is dark in here, but it could be night…

Something solid and damp presses against your lips. You try to keep them shut as tightly as you can, the fear of not knowing what it is trying to work its way into your mouth frightening you. It could be anything. What if someone found you in the woods, and now plans to torment you somehow? You need to keep your lips sealed, you can’t let it in.

A voice calls out in the darkness. ‘Open your mouth.’ You know that voice. You’ve heard it before. Who is it? You can’t recall. Your mind won’t give you the answers you’re looking for, still foggy from… something. A group of men… does that voice belong to one of them?

Resisting the object becomes too much, and your jaw slackens, allowing it to enter your mouth. It feels solid against your tongue, like wood maybe. Soft wood, something carved? But what?

The object tilts back, pouring warm liquid into your mouth. It tastes like… food. It’s soup you think, from what little knowledge of food you have. You willingly swallow it, the taste welcoming on your tongue. The object in question is that thing people use to eat then. A spoon? Is that the name of it? You’ve never eaten with a spoon before…

The man holding the spoon feeds you mouthful after mouthful of warm soup, and you find yourself feeling drowsy. Is this what it means to have a good meal? Does good food make you feel sleepy?

You hear the man placing something off to one side, the spoon not returning again. You want to sleep now. It might help you make sense of the world again.

As you slowly fade back into unconsciousness, you can hear the voice again, softer this time. ‘Alive after all, then.’ His hands reach out and gently grab one of your arms, but by that point, you’re already gone.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The next time you regain consciousness, the world has regained much of its former clarity.

For one thing, you can tell roughly where you are. You’re in a bed somewhere, slightly propped up by something soft, the room around you totally unfamiliar. The furniture you can see all looks like it’s of a quality you’re not used to seeing in the village, with both the bed and nearby table boasting some intricate-looking carvings. Wherever you are, the owner must be wealthy to afford things like this. Come to think of it, the fact that you, a wounded stranger, have been placed in a room as grand as this one makes you think that the owner must have a home with multiple bedrooms, a luxury few can even dream of. Where are you? Who managed to find you in the woods, and why did they bring you to their home?

You need answers. As you make to grab the covers, your arm aching just from that slight bit of movement, it occurs to you that you’re not wearing your clothes. You seem to be in a shirt that hangs off your frame, especially at the shoulders. It feels so soft against your skin. What fine fabric is it made of? A shirt like this must have cost a small fortune. Why are you the one wearing it? Did the person who found you dress you?

Oh shit. If they did dress you, they know the truth; they know you’re a woman.

You need to leave. You need to leave right now, aching body be damned. Who knows what horrors you could suffer at their hands? As weak as you are, you’d have no way to stop them from taking advantage of you. Perhaps that’s why they saved you? They finally realised that your frame is far more feminine than any man of your age, so they’re going to keep you here as some kind of pet?

Before you can shuffle out of bed, the door opens, and a familiar frame steps into view. The light catches on his hair, and you finally realise where you are; you’re in the stranger’s castle. You’ve found your way into the home of the one man you swore you’d stay away from.

He’s carrying a bowl in one hand, and what looks like fabric in another, both of which he sets down on the nearby table before addressing you. ‘Awake again, I see. More alert too, I think. Can you tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?’ He holds up what you think is two fingers, and you find yourself relieved that you’d somehow picked up the ability to count from watching merchants count their coins.

Your throat is so dry from lack of use that your voice cracks slightly. ‘Two.’ You try to mimic the gesture yourself, noticing now that your hand is bandaged up. That’s right, you’d cut it on a rock. Is the stranger the one who wrapped it like this?

The stranger nods, humming. ‘Good. It seems you have regained some of your faculties. I was beginning to wonder if you ever would.’ He was beginning to wonder…?

You know you probably shouldn’t ask too many questions of the man, but you can’t help but ask this one. ‘How long have I been here?’ It can’t be more than a day, surely. You’d know if it had been that long.

The stranger frowns, slender fingers grabbing his chin in thought. ‘A week. No, three days. Four, maybe. Time enough for the smaller cuts to heal.’ At least three days? He’s actively been taking care of you for that long? He didn’t just give up when you didn’t immediately wake up? Why?

As tempted as you are to ask more questions, your eyes can’t help but fix on the bowl he carried in here with him, intrigued by its potential contents. Surely it can’t be more food? He would feed you twice?

Following your gaze, the stranger answers the question in your eyes. ‘Your larger wounds need to be cleaned and redressed. I hope that doesn’t bother you.’ Your stomach growls in disappointment, but you wish it wouldn't. To receive any kind of care is a miracle, especially from…

This time when you speak, it’s barely above a whisper. ‘I broke my promise. I said you’d never see me again. Why haven’t you killed me?’ He could have easily left you for dead instead, if he hadn’t wanted to take matters into his own hands.

The stranger sighs. ‘Technically, you didn’t. You said you’d stay away from my castle and you did, to your own detriment I might add. I was the one that decided to bring you into my home. I couldn’t much leave a man to die like that. Well, I suppose now I should say woman. A convincing disguise, by the way. Had I not been forced to remove your clothing in order to treat you, I would have remained perfectly ignorant.’ He’s ignorant no longer though. Now he knows the truth, and you’re vulnerable, and…

You need to know. ‘Are you going to keep me here?’ It’s a stupid question. Why would he ever admit to something like that?

The man nods. ‘For a while. Your wounds were quite severe, and with your body being as frail as it is, I fear they will take longer to heal than they should. Until you can walk at very least, it would be in your best interest to remain. Of course, you are quite welcome to crawl out of here too, but know that once you leave, I will expect you to honour your vow once more. That is the price for saving your life.’ That’s truly all he wants? He’s saved you from the brink, and all he wants is for you to keep your promise?

You ask him as much, and he nods. ‘You have nothing more of value to give me.’ You consider telling him that the fact you’ve never had sex before might mean that there is in fact something of value he can take, but if he’s not yet made that leap, you’re not going to push him towards that conclusion!

It’s your turn to nod, neck stiff and sore. ‘Okay. As soon as I can walk, I’ll go. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to thank you? I can sew, and I-’  
The man cuts you off by raising his hand. ‘If you wish to offer me thanks, your name will be sufficient.’ You give him that freely, given that he knows now that you’re a woman. ‘I shall try to remember it. My name is Alucard, if you are interested.’ He starts to unbutton the shirt, and you begin to panic, before remembering the whole reason he’s here; he needs to treat your wounds.

As Alucard reaches over to grab his supplies, you think on his name. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever met an Alucard before. Is it a family name?’ So much for not asking him questions. Still, it’s true enough that the name is unusual…

Alucard hums, taking a seat next to you on the bed and grabbing your injured hand, talking as he removes the bandage. ‘In a way. My father is Dracula. Was Dracula I should say. This castle was his once.’ Dracula… Why does that name sound so familiar?

As you feel something cold and wet wipe across your palm, you remember. ‘Dracula? Not the Dracula, right? The one who summoned the night creatures after his wife died?’ Surely not. The name must be more common than you’re assuming, is all.

Alucard stops what he’s doing, his eyes staring deep into yours. ‘The Dracula that swore vengeance against humanity and my father are indeed one and the same. For what it is worth, I did oppose his idea.’ So he is the same! But that means…

The words come out as a whisper. ‘Does that mean you’re some kind of night creature yourself?’

Alucard’s expression remains neutral. ‘Some might call me that, yes. My father was a vampire, and so am I, of a sort. Dhampir is the term scholars like to use for people like me, but I’m not sure I care for it. I know few who would be able to differentiate between us and actual vampires, especially one with abilities such as mine. Does this trouble you at all?’ The answer to that should be a hard yes. A scream, even. And yet…

You offer him a small smile. ‘Not as much as it should. You did save my life, after all. From the little I know of vampires, that seems like something that isn’t all that common.’

Alucard seems to relax at that, re-bandaging your hand with care. ‘It isn’t. Most others of my kind would have slit your throat and drained you dry. Well, drained what was left at least, which really wasn’t much.’ Now there’s a cheery thought. Beaten to within an inch of your life, then eaten by a vampire. At least it would have been a little swifter.

As Alucard moves to attend a gash across some of your ribs, you have another thought. ‘Does it trouble you, having an injured human in your home?’ Especially one who has bled so much.

Alucard sighs. ‘It does when she keeps asking inane questions. You are here now, and in no fit state to leave, so you might as well just accept what is happening without testing my patience for such things. I am a vampire who has allowed you to stay in my home as I tend to your wounds. That is all the information you need.’ Shit. You pushed him too far. Will he kill you the next time you speak?

You’re deliberately silent for a while, watching Alucard work. His fingers are absolutely mesmerising, the way they grasp the cloth as he slowly wipes away anything that could cause the wounds to fester. He remains pretty silent himself, only breaking it after he’s finished tending to your chest and buttoning your shirt.

‘I’m afraid the worst damage is to your ankle. You may wish to look away.’ It surely can’t be any worse than your ribs. Your entire torso is an alarming shade of purple, seemingly every inch of it bruised. Come to think of it though, you’re very much missing something.

Completely ignoring Alucard’s statement, you ask another one of your ‘inane questions’, hoping it won’t be enough to tip the scales against him sparing your life. ‘Where is my binder?’ You’re going to need it for when you leave!

Alucard tilts his head, his mouth turning down slightly at the edges. ‘Destroyed, along with the rest of your clothing. Had I left it on, it would have only served to make breathing more difficult, nevermind what could have happened to your already mangled ribs. I see little point in you having such a thing while you’re here, in any case. I am already aware that you are a woman, am I not?’ Well obviously he is; he’s probably seen you naked! 

Wait, what if… has he already tampered with you in your unconscious state?

As if he can read minds (which may well be something he’s capable of, for all you know), Alucard glares at you. ‘Do not insult me in my own home. Your withered frame holds no appeal to me.’ He sighs again, pulling back the bedsheet, and exposing your wounded ankle; by the look of it, you’re going to be stuck here for a long time.

Alucard grabs your foot, trying to rotate it, stopping when you cry out in pain. ‘It is as I feared. There may be some damage to the muscle surrounding the bone itself. At least your Achilles’ tendon seems to be in once piece. If it were not, you would have to remain here for at least six months. As it is, we’ll just have to keep an eye on it.’ Shit. Six months stuck in a strange castle with a vampire you keep offending? You should just throw yourself out of the nearest window. Maybe if you aim it right you could land on a spike, have it over with quickly?

Without another word, Alucard takes the bowl and old bandages and leaves the room, allowing you to wallow in your solitude.

If your injuries or lack of manners don’t kill you, boredom might. Then again, maybe it’ll be over soon. He did actually say that your injury isn’t one with a six month recovery time. It could only take a week, and then you’ll be free to leave this place, going back to sleeping… on the street… in the cold… shoeless… hungry…

Your stomach howls again, seeming louder without anyone else in here. While Alucard may have given you soup while you were out of it, you doubt you’ll be given such fine food now. A crust of bread each day if you’re lucky. An apple if he’s feeling particularly benevolent. Nothing else hot for sure, and no meat. Meat is either too expensive, or too difficult to catch. He wouldn’t waste it on you. Maybe you could offer yourself to him after all, in the hopes of getting something hot to eat? If you have to, you’d rather offer yourself to Alucard than have some brute take you by force. At least you have a say in this, it’s a choice you can make…

The door opens again, and you squeal in surprise, your ribs groaning in protest. ‘Alucard? I thought you were finished?’ Do you have yet more wounds? He seemed so thorough, you were quite certain he’d got them all.

Sitting on the bed once more, Alucard offers you a bowl, a spoon sticking out of it at an angle. ‘Do you have proper use of your arms yet, or shall I feed you again?’ Feed… feed you? That food is for you?

Peering cautiously into the bowl, your eyes widen in shock; it’s some kind of stew. You can see various chopped vegetables in some kind of broth, and… is that meat?! It can’t be. This isn’t yours. This is his. He’s just going to give you a mouthful or two of it because he doesn’t have anything else. He’ll fish out the vegetables, the cheap things. But then why is he offering you control of the spoon. Is this a test? Is he going to punish you if you have a piece of meat?

Not wanting to anger him, you make no attempt to reach for the spoon. ‘You should do it, if you don’t mind. I don’t want to eat anything I shouldn’t.’ Maybe feeding you will make him more angry. Should you try to use the spoon instead? It can’t be too hard…

Alucard seems genuinely puzzled at this. ‘Shouldn’t eat? Do you have an intolerance to something? The rabbit, perhaps?’ It’s rabbit stew? Oh wow, what a feast! You’d give anything to just grab the bowl and wolf the whole thing down right now!

Fighting the urge to do just that, you gingerly shake your head. ‘Not that I know of. I just don’t want to eat something that you don’t want me to eat. I imagine you want to keep the chunks of meat for yourself.’ Still, the vegetables might have taken on some of the taste of it. Maybe you’ll get a bit that crumbled off.

Alucard’s confusion continues. ‘Why would I want your leftovers? I ate before I tended to you. Now, answer my question; can you feed yourself, or shall I feed you?’ You don’t… you can’t… this is for you? Really for you? The whole bowl?

You start crying. You can’t help it. It makes your lungs burn as you struggle for air, but that does nothing to stem the flow of tears.

Through the deluge, you can just about make out Alucard placing the bowl on the table, and you think you notice his eyes watering. ‘Why are you crying? It’s just stew. The rabbit died swiftly, if that is the thing bothering you.’ What?! Why doesn’t he understand what a big thing this is? He’s giving you food, his food, food he could have saved or eaten himself. He’s giving it to you, feeding you, tending your wounds, giving you a bed, and clothes!

Instead of trying to tell him of all this, you can only choke out a single word. ‘Why?’ You’ve never done anything for him. You couldn’t even stay out of his woods! Why is he bothering to do any of this for you?

Alucard sighs. ‘Don’t look too much into it. Food is just one more part of the healing process. Now stop crying before you undo my work. Your ribs will only take longer to heal if you don’t.’ You try your best to steady your breathing, for his sake. You owe him everything, so if he wants you to calm down, you’ll calm down.

When he’s satisfied you’ve stopped crying, Alucard once again picks up the bowl, no longer giving you any other option when he grabs the spoon and scoops up a chunk of rabbit. You open your mouth willingly this time, savoring the texture of it. It’s so tender, the result of being cooked so slowly. You cry again when you swallow, such wonderful food a rarity that needs to be savoured.

After that first mouthful, Alucard feeds you until the whole bowl is empty, even scooping up the liquid left at the bottom, still somehow warm despite how long it took to eat. Your stomach, once so empty, now feels overstretched, to the point you’re concerned it might burst. Is this what it feels like to eat well? Do other people feel like this everyday? 

His task complete, Alucard stands and leaves the room silently again. Is he gone for good this time? If he comes back here with more food, you might actually have to turn him down, a position you never dreamed you’d ever be in!

Your suspicion is proved correct when Alucard shows up with an apple and a glass of water, placing the apple on the table and pressing the glass to your lips. Drinking slowly so as to not choke, you manage to drink half of it before your thirst is quenched, Alucard then placing it next to the apple.

Alucard gestures to the table. ‘I would suggest that you sleep now. Should you need anything, try your best to call out. My hearing is far better than a human’s, so I’ll hear you. I’ll be returning soon to check on you, regardless. Rest well.’ He’s about to leave, but you reach for him, and he turns as still as stone, staring at you in disbelief.

You smile meekly, making sure to look him in the eyes. ‘Thank you. I really mean that. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this, but whatever it is, I’ll do it again if it earns me more of your cooking.’ 

You swear the corners of Alucard’s lips twitch at that, but he doesn’t smile. ‘Given that you’re only eating my cooking because you were beaten half to death, might I suggest abandoning any preconceptions about what you deserve, and just asking me for more food when you’re hungry?’ So he’ll just give you food if you want it? All you need to do is ask?

You nod. ‘I can do that. I don’t think I’m in danger of wandering off anytime soon anyway, so that rules out me getting beaten up again. Unless of course, you decide you’ve had enough of my questions.’ 

Alucard’s eyes go wide at that, shocked that you’ve made a joke, before returning to their normal state. ‘I’ve had enough of them for now, at least, but not so much that I plan to suffocate you in your sleep.’ 

You shake your head. ‘What would I need to ask to earn that fate?’ 

Alucard frowns. ‘Keep this up, and you might just find out.’ He wouldn't kill you. He said so himself that he doesn’t want his work undone.

Still not wanting to push him on the very slight chance that he’s not speaking in jest, you close your eyes, relaxing into the pillows. ‘Goodnight, Alucard.’ 

The door to your room closes without further comment, and you slip into the soft embrace of sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard leaves the soon-to-be-sleeping woman as quietly as he can, relief still settling in his chest. He had been so deeply concerned that she may have remained unconscious until her body gave out, and left him with one more corpse to deal with.

That she still lives, and that she doesn’t seem to be suffering any ill effects from her knock to the head is an outcome he almost wasn’t expecting, but he’s glad of it. Dying alone after being persecuted by others… Even if this young woman was guilty, it was not a crime that warrants such an end. 

Despite his promise to himself that he would not get attached, Alucard can’t help but feel sorry for her. The way she had broken down over a simple bowl of stew is something he had never expected to see. Had she not tried it before? She seemed to know what it was. She realised it was food, at least, even if she had refused to believe that it was all for her.

Alucard’s heart lurches, thinking back to her bruised and emaciated body. How many meals like this has she eaten before? If the mere sight of food was enough to bring her to tears, then he’s willing to bet it’s not many. Furthermore, if she is so willing to put her trust in a vampire, a night creature, just because he’s shown her some basic act of kindness…

He should stop thinking about her. She is just a wounded human that Alucard has taken pity on. She’ll be leaving when she can walk anyhow, so why should he even care? He wouldn't have even asked for her name, had it not been a more convenient way of addressing her. When she’s gone, she’ll be gone for good this time, and he’ll never have to think about her again. He’ll be free to live out his life in perfect solitude again, the pain of attachment no longer a risk.

Still, there is one advantage; It’s difficult to hear the ghosts over the sound of her soft snores.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. We're both super hype about how much love we've received, so thank you all so much for that :D
> 
> As a further note, one of the injuries in this chapter was the author putting in something they know of from first-hand experience... but we won't say what :O
> 
> For now, thank you all again for being so great, and we'll see you next chapter (We hope!) ^.^


	4. The Hardships Of A Simple Street Rat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> This chapter contains mentions of illness and death, so pretty much what you'd expect from Castlevania really. We hope you enjoy ^.^

It takes a few days for the reality of your situation to truly sink in. Waking up in such comfortable quarters, having a hot meal each day, not having to steal anything… It’s like the most wonderful dream.

For all you know, it really could be a dream, given how much you’ve slept of late. According to Alucard, sleep is also an important part of the healing process, now that he’s satisfied the knock to your head hasn’t led to any lasting damage (as far as he can tell, at least). You’ve been more than happy to heed his advice, body still too weak to do much else anyway. You can’t even make it to the toilet yourself, Alucard having to carry you there and back whenever nature calls. Even if you dislike having to burden him like that, it’s still much better than making him empty a chamber pot (something he had offered to you), and a million times better than having no toilet at all.

The one thing you’re still finding difficult to adjust to is the sheer abundance of food here. You haven’t actually had to ask Alucard for food, your rescuer giving it to you constantly without you needing to mention it. While it currently consists of one full meal and a few extras, only yesterday he’d mentioned that he’s planning to make it two meals a day, once he’s satisfied your stomach can handle it. Just thinking about it is enough to bring you to tears. Two meals a day! Is this what it feels like to be nobility? You feel like the richest woman in the world right now, your good fortune unbelievable.

You can hear Alucard’s footsteps in the corridor, the man presumably on his way to see you. It’s morning now, you think, and he always comes to visit you first thing. Part of you thinks it’s to make sure you survived the night, as maudlin as that sounds. Still, you’re not complaining. He’s more than welcome to check in as many times as he likes. Even if he is a brick wall to talk to, and sarcastic and scathing to the point of rudeness, his company is far more preferable than loneliness. You just wish he’d smile more, his constant frowning upsetting you more than any remark ever could. Has he been here by himself for so long that he’s forgotten how, maybe? You’d offer to remind him, if you didn’t think he’d take offense to such a suggestion.

The door opens, and Alucard walks in, carrying a large metal bucket without a single sign of strain on his face. What’s that for? Is there something inside it?

Still eyeing the bucket, you frown slightly. ‘I think that bath is a little too small for me.’ It might fit a baby. Maybe a small child. A medium-sized dog…

Alucard places the bucket onto the floor next to the bed, and you peer into it; it’s full of water. Oh shit, you were actually right! You might be small thanks to lack of food, but there’s no way in hell you can fit in that!

Pulling back your bed sheet, Alucard nods. ‘Your spacial awareness is flawless, but it is indeed a bath of sorts. While I may have cleaned your wounds, I neglected to clean the rest of you, and quite frankly, you are starting to smell dreadful. Since you are still too ill to properly bathe yourself, a wipe down with a damp cloth and soap is the best I can do.’ Wait, he has soap?

Of course he does, he’s clearly rich beyond measure. That’s the whole reason he’s so paranoid about intruders. If you had any interest in material goods, this place would undoubtedly be the best potential target imaginable. Then you too could have baths with soap!

The sheets now gone, Alucard undoes the buttons on your shirt with ease, throwing the garment to the other side of the room before he examines your bandages. A few of them have specks of blood on them, having not been changed since last night. It makes you dread to think how many scars you’re going to have by the time they’ve healed enough for you to leave.

Alucard hums. ‘I think we’ll work around the bandages for now. I don’t want to get soap in the wounds. Are they feeling any better at all, in terms of pain?’

Staring down at your wounded palm, you take a moment to think before answering. ‘I’m not actually sure. Everything aches so much that I can’t really tell what hurts and what doesn’t. Does that make sense?’ You hope so, because there’s no other way to explain it.

Nodding, Alucard reaches into the bucket to grab a piece of cloth, before lathering it up with soap. ‘It does. You took quite the beating, so it’s no surprise you are still in constant pain. At least you are responding well to treatment. You should make a full recovery in time. The only thing concerning me is the lack of exercise. I will have to consult...’ He clears his throat conspicuously as if he was about to say something he shouldn’t have. ‘I am sure we can arrange something. It is vital that we strengthen your muscles, particularly those in your legs, or you won’t be able to walk even if your ankle heals.’ Pressing his cloth into the nape of your neck, Alucard wipes down, the cold water making you hiss a little. You’re not used to washing like this, or washing much at all really. Getting wet without the means to get dry would only bring with it sickness, and sickness for you would have been a death sentence, removing any chance you may have had of stealing food.  
A tense silence falls between the two of you. You feel yourself wanting to ask Alucard questions, but remember how much he hates them. It’s a shame, really. You’re going to be stuck with him for so long, but you’ll leave without really knowing him. If nothing else, you’d like to hear more of his kind, of vampires. The few stories you’ve heard haven’t told you much, something you’re actually quite glad of; if the stories had been bad, it may well have tainted your judgment, no matter how kind he’s been.

It surprises you to no end when Alucard is the one that breaks the silence, his voice low and even. ‘How old were you when you first started stealing?’ Really? He wants to know more about you when he doesn’t like you questioning him?

Still, after all he’s done, and still doing, the least you can do is indulge him. ‘I’m not sure. I’ve never really paid much attention to my age. Old enough that I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but too young and too desperate to care.’

Alucard’s brow furrows. ‘A child, then. Did your parents ever catch you?’ Oh. That’s right, you haven’t told him yet.

You shrug. ‘It would have been difficult for them to a catch me, considering they’re both long dead.’

The hand wiping down your back freezes in place. ‘Oh dear. I didn’t realise. I apologise for bringing it up.’ He places the cloth back in the water then, cleaning it off before applying more soap and making a start on one of your arms.

Not wanting the room to fall silent again, you look at him, the ghost of a smile on your lips. ‘I don’t mind talking about it. Not that there’s much to say. My mother died in childbirth, so it was just me and my father for a while. Well, it was technically me and my father, but it never really felt like it. If he wasn’t out trying to earn coin, he was pissing them away in the tavern, stumbling home at random hours of the night before doing it again the next day. Eventually, he got sick, and he died. The house was claimed to pay some kind of debt, and that was that. Nobody wanted to take in an orphan, so I started looking after myself. I had been for years anyway really, so it wasn’t that hard. Just a little less sheltered than it used to be.’ In fairness though, from what you remember of your old home, there were so many holes in the roof that it often felt colder than the outside world.

Wiping all the way down to your wrist, Alucard switches arms. ‘I see. So you started stealing to stay alive. Was there no other way to gain coin?’ Coin? He thinks that’s what you’re about.

You glare at him. ‘What use is money? Why would I bother stealing coin to pay for food when I could just take the food? There’s no point in having possessions when you’re a thief. I’ve seen what people are willing to do to each other for the sake of money, and I have no intention of becoming the target of their greed. I only ever take what I need to keep me going for that one day. Nothing more, nothing less. People can’t take what I don’t have.’ Not that a small thing like that would stop them…

Alucard raises his brow. ‘A thief that fears being robbed? There’s something almost poetic about that.’  
You chuckle. ‘The truly poetic thing is that if I didn’t steal from the merchants, they’d steal from me. I used to watch them as they worked, waiting for the chance to take something. From what I’ve seen, they’re the real thieves, always trying to con people out of an extra coin. If you think about it, what I stole basically makes up for what they stole!’ Not that they’d see it that way, but why should you care about that?

Rinsing the cloth once more, Alucard makes a start on one of your calves. ‘Ah, so you decided to bring justice upon them? Are you certain that’s not just your conscience trying to justify your crimes?’ Crimes? Crimes? You might have kicked him for that, were he not working on your one good leg.

Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, trying to look fierce. ‘What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without food, Alucard? A few hours, maybe a day? Have you ever gone a week without so much as a scrap of bread? I just wanted to stay alive. That’s all the justification I need. Nobody wanted to help me, so I helped myself. Besides, I’ve never taken from anyone who didn’t have plenty to spare.’ After all, you know too well what it is to go without. You wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Silently, Alucard works the cloth up to your thigh, before he finally speaks again. ‘To answer your question truthfully, a year. Well, a year without solid food, at least. I was… resting. Otherwise, you’re quite right. Hunger is not something I am overly familiar with.’ You suspected as much. Still, resting for a year without eating? Is that a vampire thing?

You have to ask. ‘You lost an entire year because you were resting?’

Nodding, Alucard wipes up to your thigh. ‘Yes, I did. I was injured in a fight, so my body needed time to recover.’ An injury put him out of action for a whole year?!

You stare at him, gobsmacked. ‘How badly were you hurt?! Are you okay now?!’ What if he’s not? What if he’s still unwell, and you’re making it worse, and…?

Alucard refreshes the cloth, your other thigh his next target. ‘If I was not, I would not be here tending to your own wounds. I would rather not speak of it.’ You should have known. He doesn’t like it when you question him. So much for keeping the conversation flowing…

You’re about to resign yourself to silence, when Alucard speaks again. ‘Why do you dress yourself as a man? Surely people would have been more inclined to take pity on a young woman?’ Well, isn’t he a gentleman? Or hopelessly naive…

You wince as he reaches the swelling just above your ankle, but you give him an answer. ‘It started not long after I started bleeding for the first time. Some men approached me as I was looking for some kind of shelter. They offered me coin for… services, but I said no. They didn’t take too kindly to that. I was lucky that they were so drunk they could barely stand, or else… being a man is easier.’

Alucard nods in agreement, ditching the cloth so he can examine your ankle. ‘I feared as much. Human cruelty truly has no limit.’ He moves your ankle, and you yelp. ‘Still much the same. A pity. I’ll need to clean your chest now, if that is okay?’ Why wouldn’t it be? You’re already naked. He’s already treated your chest wounds. Now would be a stupid time to argue with him.

You nod. ‘That’s fine, if you don’t mind. As for human cruelty, I can attest to that. I… there was something I stole once that wasn’t for me. It was the first thing I stole, in fact.’ You probably shouldn’t tell him this story. Your life is still very much in his hands.

Making a start on your chest, Alucard indicates that you should continue. ‘It was when my father fell ill. There was a healer in the village, so I went to him for help. He said he could treat my father, but that the cure was going to cost us. I told him that father would repay him when he was better, but that wasn’t enough. He dangled that cure in front of my face, and he told me that unless I paid him, my father was going to die. I was so scared at that thought. For all his flaws, my father still fed me at least. So that night, I broke into the healer’s home, and I stole my father’s cure.’ You can still remember what it felt like, scurrying home with that glass bottle in your hands, hoping and praying that you made it back to him.

Alucard sighs. ‘Let me guess; it was poison or an ineffective cure at least?’

You start to cry. ‘I’ll never know. By the time I made it home… I ran straight to his bed, but he wasn’t moving. I tried to wake him, but he was so still, and so pale. He was clutching something in his hand, some kind of paper, covered in strange symbols. He didn’t move even when I took it from him. I was too late. He was already gone.’ That was the first time in life you’ve tasted just how bitter loneliness is, not knowing that it was to be a constant companion.

His task finished at last, Alucard places the cloth in the water once more. ‘You have my sympathies. Even if he wasn’t the best of fathers, loneliness is no fate for a child. What happened to the paper he held?’ Why does that matter? It’s not as if he’ll be able to understand it.

You shrug. ‘I hid it. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. It’s probably just some nonsense my father scrawled out as the illness took hold, but it’s the last thing I have of his. I don’t think I want to talk about him any more.’ At least with your mother, you can’t feel sad, because there’s no memories to make you feel sad; you can still just about remember your father.

Alucard takes the bucket and leaves, presumably to get fresh bandages for your wounds. You really wish he’d at least given you that shirt back. It’s cold in here now that you’re wet. It reminds you of being in that stream again, about to die…

Alucard returns, bowl and bandages in hand, and a dry cloth over his arm. ‘I’ll dry you off, then I’ll change the bandages.’ Fine by you. You’re just glad you’re not going to be wet any more.

As he dries you off with care, you ask him a question. ‘Can I ask you about your parents?’

He freezes then, thinking for a moment. ‘You can ask, but I will not answer.’ You should have guessed as much. You just thought he might have been more open, now that he knows you more, Still, he has made it clear that you don’t need to know anything about him.

Dejected, you remain quiet for a long while, letting Alucard tend to you. Maybe it’s just as well he’s not going to open up to you. The last thing you want is to make a friend that you’ll never be able to see again. It could be that he’s worried that you’ll tell others about him, as if there’s anyone in your life you’d actually tell.

It’s only when Alucard makes it to the last of the bandages that he breaks the silence, his voice soft. ‘What did you try to steal that led to this? Another apple? I send you in the direction of that tree for a reason. Why not return?’ To the tree? He knows why…

You frown at him, your body shrinking up shyly. ‘I wanted to keep my promise. You know about that tree, so I just assumed it’s one you visit often. It wasn’t an apple I stole, anyway. I needed new shoes. Someone in town was tossing a pair away, so I took them. Then they chased me, and they found me, and… well, you know the rest.’ He’s a big part of the rest. You’re living it together, for now at least.

There’s a trembling against your leg now, caused by Alucard’s hands shaking. ‘They almost killed you over a pair of old shoes?’ You nod, afraid that he’s going to lash out. ‘I see.’ He finishes bandaging your wounds before taking everything away, leaving you naked and alone again. Is he still not giving you the shirt back? Have you lost that privilege because you asked him a question?

Reaching for the blanket, you cover yourself up, planning to take a nap. At least you have strength enough for that.

Just as you settle back against the pillows, Alucard returns, clutching a nightgown. ‘You can’t sleep naked. It’s too cold for that. I found this in one of the guest rooms and thought you might like it. Sit back up.’ Oh. He’s bringing you new clothes? That’s why he left you? But…

You shake your head. ‘It’s fine. You don’t have to keep giving me clothes. I can sleep naked if the shirt is too dirty.’ The nightdress in question looks so smooth and comfortable, but you shouldn’t…

Alucard walks over to you in long strides, folding his arms. ‘You are being unreasonable. Sit up and get dressed. I won’t have you freezing to death.’ You doubt you’re in danger of freezing in a warm bed with regular hot meals…

Part of you wants to argue with him, but it’s pointless, so you give up, pulling your body upright again so he can yank the fabric down and over your body. You have to admit, it’s more comfortable than nudity. It looks fancy too, just like everything else in this castle. You feel like a real lady, a noblewoman in her castle. Even if it’s not technically your castle, and you’re far from noble.

When you’re properly dressed, you toy with the hem, trying to keep your eyes away from Alucard. ‘I’m sorry if I made you angry earlier when I asked you about your parents. I was just curious, that’s all. I meant no harm.’ Then again, as you know all too well, meaning is often unimportant…

Helping to get you into a comfortable position again, Alucard answers you in a quiet voice. ‘Curiosity can be a most harmful thing, if left unsatisfied. You would do well to be less curious, especially about me. It will not end well. Nothing involving me ever does.’ You look into his eyes then, and you remember now what you’d thought the first time you’d met him; there is so much pain in those golden orbs.

You smile sadly. ‘Okay. I’ll try not to pester you so much. You can ask me as many inane questions as you want though. It’s not like I can stop you, anyway.’ Or smother him in his sleep, for that matter.

Alucard makes for the door then, stopping just before he leaves. ‘Before you leave here, I’ll make sure to buy you new shoes.’ He would really do that for you?

A stray tear falls from your eyes. ‘You don’t have to trouble yourself like that. I don’t deserve it. It is enough that you would even offer.’ Before you leave this place, you will find a way to thank him, however you can. Even if it is something small, you need to do something to pay him back for this.

Alucard leaves you alone without a word, allowing you to settle in for another nap.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When Alucard leaves his visitor’s temporary quarters, he makes his way out of the castle and into the forest, tapping into his abilities to travel swiftly. The young woman is probably sleeping now, too feeble to do much else. While she won’t need him for a while, he would still rather not leave her for too long; she seems the kind of woman that would push herself to do things prematurely, and he would rather she didn’t ruin the little progress she has made so far. Worse yet, she might find a way to ruin her ankle beyond recovery, and then there will be no getting rid of her.

Arriving at his destination, Alucard is immediately reminded of what happened the last time he was here. The trail of blood, the crumpled body… It’s all so clear to him, even now. Then again, it’s not been that long. Just over a week, he thinks. Maybe longer. How long was she unconscious for, again? Time only has meaning now because he has had to devise a care schedule, her swift recovery his greatest priority; the sooner she is fixed, the sooner she goes. It is in her best interest that she leaves.

Speaking of best interest, Alucard breathes in deeply, trying to see if he can catch the scent of any humans that have passed through recently. He grimaces when the only smell that meets his lips is blood, specifically hers. Fuck. He was hoping that they would have left something for him to follow, some way from him to find them…

His empty search frustrates him so much that he kicks out, sending a rock flying straight into a nearby tree. Alucard would do anything to have those bastards here right now, so he could leave them bleeding out in the stream. They almost took the life of another human being over a pair of shoes. Shoes! Of all the things he has heard people kill over, shoes has to be the most…

Alucard rushes over to the tree he’s already abused, punching it hard. He can’t imagine what it must be like to live a lifetime of hardship, to manage to stave off total starvation for years, only to be murdered over shoes. A basic comfort, something all humans deserve. That explains the state of her feet, at least. How much of the time between their first meeting and him finding her had she been forced to spend barefoot? How much pain had that caused her?

The part of it that really hurts is the fact that it wasn’t good shoes she was trying to steal. They weren’t a brand new pair, fresh off a merchant’s wagon. She deliberately targeted a used pair, about to be discarded, and he thinks he knows the reasons why. She didn’t want to make herself a target. She didn’t want to deprive someone else, someone honest, of the chance to buy a new pair.

The reason that rings clearest in his mind is that she doesn’t think she deserves something as good as a new pair of shoes.

‘My god,’ Alucard says, talking to himself. ‘I’m actually feeling sorry for her, aren’t I?’ When nobody answers him back, Alucard makes his way home, planning to ask her more about the men that did this to her. He’ll feel much better about sending her away if he knows the men that put her so close to death are rotting in a hole somewhere.

Until that day, all he can do is get her ready to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading. We hope to see you again in the next chapter. Oh, and if you should celebrate such a thing, Happy Easter! ^.^


	5. Ignorance Needn't Be Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> We were going to take a break today, but the Alucard love is too real T.T So enjoy!

A week after Alucard bathes you, you’re almost starting to feel human again. While it’s true that your body still has a long way to go before it can be considered fully-healed, you actually have strength enough in your arms now to feed yourself, something you didn’t initially have. Feeding yourself with a spoon is something you’re still not used to, but you’re getting there, if only for Alucard. The look on his face when you tried to shovel food into your mouth with your bare hand… 

You can still hear him in your mind. ‘You’re not an animal, so don’t eat like one.’ That was two days ago, and ever since then, you’ve been trying your hardest not to be so sloppy or uncouth. It’s not everyday that someone tells you that you’re not an animal. You’ve been told the opposite plenty of times, most of them accompanied by shoving. Not Alucard though. Even if he’s still sharp with you, at least he’s yet to harm you.

Well, unless you count him prodding at your wounds, but that’s not really harming you. Still, you wish getting better didn’t hurt so much!

Aside from your lack of table manners, the other thing Alucard seems keen to discuss is your attack. He’s been asking you each and every day if you can remember anything about the men that left you for dead, but each day your answer remains unsatisfying and unchanged; only their voices. You can only remember their voices, because the only time you got a clear look at them was after hitting your head, when your vision was so jumbled you couldn’t tell the land from the sky. Alucard always frowns at this, but he seems to accept it. At the very least, he doesn’t seem angry at your lack of usable information, so you’ll take that. It makes you wonder why he even needs that information, but in truth, you might just be better off not knowing; ignorance can sometimes indeed be bliss. 

You give a heavy sigh, relaxing into your pillows. You’ve barely been awake two minutes so far today, and you’re already getting bored. Now that you’re spending more time awake, boredom is beginning to eat away at your mind. You’re half-tempted to call out for Alucard, a few moments of conversation with him far more amusing than staring around the now-familiar room. Would he be mad if you summoned him in here just for a chat? He’d probably roll his eyes and berate you with a quick and cutting remark, but you don’t think he’d be that mad. He might even enjoy it. You’ve no idea what he does here by himself all day, when he’s not busy caring for you. Maybe he’s sitting in his room right now, staring at the walls just like you are…

The door to your room opens; so much for that theory.

In one of his hands, Alucard is holding a bowl and spoon, both of which he hands to you; it feels warm! Oh dear, have you slept in? You’d thought it morning, but if he’s giving you a hot meal, it must be dinner time.

Hungry regardless of the time of day, you peer into the bowl, poking at its unfamiliar contents with the spoon. It’s all white and stodgy, sticking to the bowl. What is this? It looks like something you’d make a house out of! 

Alucard seems to sense your hesitation. ‘It’s oats, mixed with warm water. I’d usually flavour it with something, but I thought it best to give it to you in its usual bland state. It’ll be easier on your stomach this way. It’s perfectly edible, I promise.’ You’re willing to take his word on that, even if it doesn’t look very appetizing; scooping up a small mouthful with the spoon, you put it in your mouth, wincing when it’s hotter than expected. It tastes exactly how it looks; bland and stodgy. Still, food is food, and you have no intention of refusing it.

After taking a few more mouthfuls, you deliver your verdict to Alucard. ‘It doesn’t really taste of anything, but it’s nice and warm. Thank you.’ You scoop up more of it, planning to eat every last bit of it.

Alucard seems to agree with you, a low hum escaping his lips. ‘While it doesn’t taste particularly delicious, it should fill you up nicely. That is the point of breakfast, after all. Perhaps in a few days we could see about adding some fruit into the mix? It might not help the flavour, but it should improve the texture. I’m pretty sure some of the walls might have been plastered with it.’ You giggle at his joke, glad that he shares your opinion on the texture. How long has it been since you made such a noise? Too long, that much is certain. It must have seen, if such a silly joke is all it takes to elicit such a sound.

Finishing your meal, you hand the bowl back to Alucard with a smile. ‘Thank you for that. While I think I prefer stew, breakfast is nice. I would happily have it again.’ You’ve always heard tales of breakfast, but you didn’t realise it was a specific dish. But then, why do some people buy bread for breakfast? The oats would make the bread taste horrible!

Before answering, Alucard places the empty bowl on the table, taking a seat on the bed. ‘You need to get used to it. You’ll be having breakfast every morning now, if your stomach can take it.’ So it is morning! But wait, what?

You’re confused. ‘Why am I having dinner in the morning?’ 

Alucard’s eyes grow wide. ‘Is this a joke? I have already told you that it is breakfast time. Dinner will come later, in the evening. I did tell you that we would be moving onto two meals soon. Have I misjudged your readiness?’ Wait, so breakfast is that meal people have first thing? It’s not a dish? That makes way more sense!

You nod a little too enthusiastically, your head going dizzy. ‘I am ready! I think. If you really don’t mind feeding me twice a day. It’s okay if you don’t want to. I’m used to only having one.’ If any at all…

Once again, Alucard seems confused. ‘You should be eating three meals a day, at least. Snacks too, if you can find them. Surely you know this from when your father was alive?’ Bold of him to assume you remember that far back, but he’s right; you do remember something!

You shake your head. ‘Nope. I’ve never had more than one meal a day. My father used to come in after work and toss me a bit of bread or something before he went out drinking. I’ve never really had much food. It’s alright though. I’m still alive, after all, so it can’t be that bad.’ Even if having hot food is so much better!

Alucard stares at you, exasperated. ‘If you ignore every single health warning that comes with being malnourished, then I suppose not. Then again, given the risks involved with taking even the smallest thing, it hardly seems surprising.’ Alucard hands you something then, an object you recognise all too well; a book! Finally, a way to ease your boredom!

The way your eyes light up with enthusiasm must be noticeable, because he almost smiles. ‘I thought you might like something to amuse yourself with. It must be boring, staring at the walls all day.’ Not for the first time, you think he actually might be able to read minds. This is the best possible entertainment!

Flicking through the book, your once exuberant joy descends into confusion. ‘I don’t understand all these symbols. What do they mean?’ They’re all arranged in neat little rows, and seem to make up the entirety of the book. How are you supposed to enjoy this?

Peering over in confusion, Alucard realises his mistake. ‘Ah, this one is mine. The symbols are an ancient language, one seldom used anymore. This is the one I thought you’d enjoy.’ He trades the book in your hand for the one in his, and you smile again, glad that mistake has been rectified. At least now you have a book that you can enjoy.

Yet when you open this one, you’re met with much the same. Seemingly endless rows of little, organised symbols, without a clear picture in sight. Are you missing something? Is there a picture here you’re missing?

As you tilt the book to investigate, Alucard frowns. ‘Is there something wrong with this book, too?’ Can he really not see it? This isn’t a book at all, it’s a symbol thing!

You give the book back to him, disappointed. ‘This one is all weird symbols, too. Aren’t books supposed to have pictures in them? The ones I’ve seen before had pictures.’ Realising that you’re sounding spoilt and ungrateful, you backtrack. ‘It’s okay, though. The symbols are more interesting than the walls. May I?’ You stick your hand out for the book, but Alucard doesn’t hand it back. Oh dear. You’ve offended him now, haven’t you? You should have just pretended to like the symbols just to make him happy.

Alucard is looking you dead in the eyes now, his expression concerned. ‘More interesting still is the story these symbols tell. You do know how to read them, don’t you?’ Read them? Like figure out what they mean?

Oh, hang on, you’ve seen the symbols from that first book before!

Jolting so quickly that it makes Alucard jump slightly, you point at the second book, your enthusiasm reignited by memory. ‘That paper my father was holding! It had these symbols on it! Can you understand them? Do you know what they mean?’ If he does, he could help you make sense of that paper! If he would…

No, of course he wouldn’t. You’ll have to leave to get it, and once you’re gone, you can never come back.

Alucard still seems baffled by your outburst, a deep frown on his face. ‘These are words, not symbols. Words written in the very language you’re speaking, I might add. You do know how to read them, don’t you? You can read?’ Read? Why would you know how to do that?

You shake your head. ‘Of course I don’t know how to read. I couldn’t afford food, never mind an education, and my father was too busy to teach me. I’ve only ever managed to learn things from watching other people do it. I only know how to count from listening to people count money. I didn’t realise that books are for reading. The only ones I’ve seen before had pictures in. I… does that make me stupid? Because I can’t read like other people can?’ You’ve never really thought about it before. Here you are, pondering over words in your first and only language, sitting with a man planning to read a book written in some lost language. You must be beyond stupid, especially compared to him…

Alucard thinks for a moment, before softly shaking his head. ‘No, not stupid. I’ve met a stupid person before, and the two of you are quite different. I would say ignorant. Do you know what the difference between ignorance and stupidity is?’ There’s a difference?

You sigh. ‘If I say no, will that make me stupid?’ Asking that question is also pretty stupid, really. They must be the same thing.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘Not at all. I would still say that makes you ignorant. The difference between the two is that there is no cure for stupidity. Ignorance however is easily remedied. If you are willing to learn, I would be willing to teach you.’ Teach you? As in how to read? He would… But why? What does he get out of this? Nothing, besides one more reason why you are a burden to him.

You’re about to cry, something which seems to be a common occurrence, when Alucard raises a hand. ‘No tears. You will find that words make even less sense if you cannot see them.’ They can make less sense than they already do? How is that even possible?

Wiping your tears away, you ask Alucard the same question you seem to ask him everyday. ‘Why? Why bother helping me with this when you’ve already given me so much?’ You’re going to have to pay for this all one day, in some way. It’s too good to possibly be without some kind of payment!

Standing up, Alucard looks back at you, and for once, his eyes seem a little brighter. ‘If I’m going to be reading anyway, I might as well read with you. Besides, as I am already treating your physical injuries, it only makes sense that I cure your ignorance also.’ You don’t know what to say. Why does he give his kindness up so freely, before playing it off as if what he is doing isn’t something worthy of awe?

Not wanting to start crying again, you decide to make a joke out of it. ‘I think you just like the sound of your own voice.’ Alucard raises his eyebrows in surprise, and you cringe, already preparing to kiss your newfound offer of knowledge goodbye.

You almost do cry when Alucard offers a smile so slight you wouldn’t know it was ever there if he didn’t frown constantly. ‘That is part of it, I suppose. Still, can you blame me? My voice is rather pleasant on the ears.’ 

You smile back, relieved that you’ve not offended him. ‘Only when you’re not threatening to suffocate me in my sleep for asking questions.’ A threat he still hasn’t carried out, despite you still asking questions of him even now. Not that he ever answers them…

Alucard shrugs. ‘I can vary my death threats, if that would make my voice more appealing?’ You giggle again at that, wondering just how many threats a man like him could invent.

When the giggles subside, you pretend to consider his offer, caressing your chin in mock thought. ‘Hmm… I think teaching me how to read would make it more appealing. If you still want to, that is.’ Maybe all your comments have put him off the idea completely?

Nodding his head, Alucard makes for the exit, that tiny smile still there. ‘I need to find a few things, but I’ll be back soon for your first and most important lesson. We’ll need to figure out which hand is your writing hand.’ 

You stare at your hands in confusion, one of them still bandaged up, even though the bleeding has finally stopped. ‘I only get to choose one? Why can’t they both write?’ You could write so much quicker if you could use both! Although…

Wait, you’ve just realised something. ‘You said you were going to teach me how to read. Why do I need to write, too?’ Is that just one more piece of your overall ignorance that he wishes to remove?

His body already out the door, Alucard’s voice is slightly muffled, but you still hear him. ‘You’ll find out.’ His footsteps begin to sound further and further away, leaving you alone to ponder his deliberately cryptic remark. Is this payback for not giving him more information on your assailants? Or is that just the way he always is?

Given all the mysterious things he’s said in the past, the latter seems most likely.

Well, at least he’s still helping you, even if it’s in ways you weren’t expecting. You hope he can’t actually read minds, because right now, all you can think of is how lonely he must be if he’s willing to spend time with you. Surely he would prefer to ignore the nosy thief in his guest room unless strictly necessary?

You would ask him how long he’s spent in solitude here, if you thought you’d get an answer.

At least if he’s teaching you, it might keep the loneliness at bay, something that will be good for both of you.

You just hope the depths of your ignorance doesn’t cause his patience to end.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Having had an entire week to think about his revelation in the woods, Alucard’s question has finally been answered in a single conversation; yes, he does feel sorry for her. 

Terribly so, really. From what she’s told him, she has done nothing to truly deserve her lot in life. Stealing apples and shoes shouldn’t be enough to earn her such a painful existence. In fact, if she hadn’t done those things, she wouldn’t exist at all. For her to know nothing of food is one thing, but to know nothing of books and of reading? What joy is there in her life if she doesn’t have things to enjoy? Living from meal to meal, afraid of all the ways strangers can hurt you, to the point where you actively change yourself… that is no life. It is barely existence. 

At least if he teaches her how to write, she might be able to find some kind of pleasure in life. Better still, reading could be the gateway to many things. So many people have want of someone that can read and write. With the right education, she could find a job, earn coin honestly. She’d never have to risk stealing again. She’ll be just as any other woman, and Alucard can finally put his wailing conscience to sleep.

Where should he begin with her? Would she be offended if he started her off with some books from his early years? Simple books, ones that consist more of pictures than of words. She seemed so thrilled at the thought of reading his books when she still assumed they contained pictures. The drawings in the books Alucard is thinking of are detailed and interesting, the kind that she might like. Maybe if he found her a funny one, she might even giggle again. It is such a sweet sound. He should like to hear more of it before she leaves.

Leaving… will she stay long enough to learn how to read and write properly? Or will her wounds be healed before that point? There is definitely an improvement in her condition. How much longer will it be until she’s able to walk out of his life, leaving him to continue living in isolation? 

That thought shouldn’t sadden him, but it almost does. This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. Feeling sympathy towards her and her plight is one thing, but missing her? Not a chance. He won’t allow her to get so deep into his heart that her inevitable removal will hurt him in any way. As long as he keeps his guard up, he’ll be fine. It is as he said. He is just doing his best to help her before he sends her on her way.

Repeating that thought over and over again in his mind, Alucard begins to gather supplies he can use to educate his wounded house guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler alert; there's going to be another chapter tomorrow! This fic really won't always have daily updates like this, but while we're in a roll...
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and thank you all again for how wonderful and supportive you've all been. It really goes a long way, and it's comforting to know that we all want our boy Alucard to get the happiness he deserves T.T
> 
> Thank you one final time for today, and we hope to see you next time ^.^


	6. Golden, Like Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> As promised, another chapter! I don't there's any warnings in this chapter (any new ones, at least), so please enjoy ^.^

Two weeks after telling you he was going to teach you how to read, Alucard has so far kept his word.

You’d started off with something called the alphabet, which is the basis for all words according to him. For days he had you tracing out the same symbols over and over again, telling you what they mean. You’re just glad that you already know how to talk, as it’s far easier to connect the symbols to specific sounds. So far, you think you’ve gotten most of the letters memorised, no small accomplishment considering you didn’t know any of them when you’d first started. Alucard keeps saying that he’ll be moving you onto basic words soon, and you believe him. He hasn’t lied to you yet, after all.

The nicest thing about learning to read and write has to be having Alucard as a teacher. As a reward for completing his lessons, he’s been reading to you, encouraging you to follow the words with your eyes to further your understanding of the relationship between written word and spoken. Truthfully, you tend to zone out when he does this, the sound of his voice transporting you into the world of the book. He’s told you stories you never could have invented even in your wildest dreams. He speaks to you of dragons and fair maidens, of kings disguised as beggars. If you had only known the kind of wonderful tales contained within the pages of books, you would have tried to learn how to read sooner.

If Alucard is aware of you zoning out during his reading, he doesn’t mention it. What he does do is allow you to examine the pictures that accompany the words, answering any questions you might have all the while. His patience with you has been flawless, never growing angry at your constant quizzing him. You’ve quickly come to realise that it’s not so much that Alucard dislikes being questioned, it’s just that he doesn’t want to talk about himself. As long as the books and his lessons are the sole subject of your queries, he is happy to answer them.

Sitting up in bed, you eagerly await Alucard’s arrival. While the majority of your wounds are now healed and free of bandages, the bruising on your chest is still quite nasty, and there’s been little improvement with your ankle. It’s beginning to feel like you’re going to be bed bound forever, completely at the mercy of Alucard. If he had a mind to, he could leave you alone here for days, and you’d be able to do nothing to help yourself. It reminds you of something, a memory, one that you’ve tried to bury deep inside your mind…

The door opens, and Alucard walks in, carrying a wooden slab with various writing equipment on it. You can see a bowl perched on it too, probably a bowl of warm oats that’s just for you. Alucard never seems to eat with you, consuming his meals in solitude before tending to you. Is he self-conscious about eating? It is because of those pointy teeth of his? You hadn’t even realised at first, usually focusing on his eyes rather than his mouth. Would he be upset if you asked him to start eating with you? It can’t be very nice, eating alone all the time…

Alucard comes closer, and you shuffle up in bed, giving him room to sit beside you. According to him, writing would be far easier sitting up to a desk, but given the state of your ankle, this is the best he can do. You can’t say you mind. Whatever makes it easier for him. That, and it feels nice sitting with him, even if it doesn’t always feel like he’s even in the room with you sometimes. It’s like he doesn’t always know how to be sociable, so his mind shuts down, and an invisible wall forms between you. You wish he wasn’t always so guarded around you. Is he worried that you’re going to spill all of his secrets the moment you leave? You’d never do that to him, not after all he’s done. He would have to do something truly dreadful to sully the kind things he’s done for you. Something like…

Ignoring your thoughts, you gesture to the food, brows knitting together when you see something gold and sticky-looking on the oats. ‘May I have my breakfast, please?’ His constant feeding really has spoilt you. Now you seem to be getting hungry more and more often, the appetite you had long thought lost seemingly reignited. Every morning you find yourself waking up hungry, your stomach now expecting a meal. Alucard never leaves you wanting, always bringing you your morning bowl of oats. Still, this gold stuff is new. Is it medicine of some kind, placed in your food to encourage you to take it without a fuss? What do you need medicine for? Is your leg that serious?

Alucard picks the bowl up off of the wooden plank, offering it to you. ‘You don’t have to ask for what is clearly yours. I am interested to see what you think of the honey, though.’ Honey… is that the gold stuff?

Tentatively, you spoon some oats and honey into your mouth, and almost squeal in delight; it’s sweet. So sweet. The sweetest thing you’ve ever tasted, in fact. It completely lacks the tart undertones of most fruit, leaving only the most sickly of tastes. On its own, it might be too much, but mixed in with the bland oats…

You lick your lips, hoping to catch any stray food before you answer Alucard’s query. ‘I think I like honey. It tastes sweet and delicious. Do you have honey with your oats?’ From what he said the first time he gave you breakfast, it seems as if Alucard doesn’t care much for their blandness.

As you wolf down your meal greedily, Alucard nods. ‘Sometimes. It helps with the taste. It’s important not to eat too much sugar, but if you like it, I can start giving it to you more often.’ Yes! A hundred times yes! Anything to make an already warm and filling meal even better.

Handing Alucard the bowl so he can put it on the table and out of the way, you hum. ‘I’d really like that, if you don’t mind sharing it with me.’

Alucard nods. ‘If it was a problem, I wouldn’t have offered it. It’s important that we start to vary your diet, now that your stomach is starting to recover. Besides, I rather like cooking.’ You wish you knew how to cook. Would he teach you that too, if he has time before you leave? After all, if he loves it, like he loves reading, he might actually want to.

Thinking back on your breakfast, a thought hits you. ‘You know how names are supposed to have meanings? I think your name must mean honey.’

Alucard frowns. ‘No, not quite, though now that you know basic letters I might be inclined to enlighten you as to its true meaning. Dare I ask what led you to such a conclusion?’ Oh. So you’re wrong? This is going to be embarrassing…

You don’t dare look at him when you speak, instead looking at the pot of ink on the tray. ‘Well, it’s because you’re golden like honey. Your eyes and your hair, I mean. And you’ve been really sweet to me. So to me, you’re a little bit like honey. That, and you’re always saying I shouldn’t have too much of you, even if I find you really nice.’ God, why did you say that? This one thought that should have remained firmly inside your head!

When Alucard doesn’t answer you, you risk glancing up at him, a strange feeling fluttering inside you when you notice a light dusting of pink on his otherwise pale cheeks.

Noticing your gaze, Alucard finally breaks the silence. ‘An interesting metaphor. Perhaps you should take up poetry, when you are able to write properly. For now, I would like to try something basic.’ Bringing your attention back to the makeshift table plank, Alucard gestures to a piece of paper, a few letters at the top. ‘Can you tell me what this means?’ It’s not a word you’ve ever seen before in his books, but it seems familiar somehow. Maybe if you sound each of the letters out loud…

As you sound them out one by one, you finally realise what it is. ‘That’s my name! Isn’t it?’ So that’s who you are…

Alucard smiles slightly, handing you the quill, his cheeks still coloured. ‘That’s right. At least, this is how I would spell it. I would like you to write it out, if you can. Learning how to write your own name is very important, especially if you ever need to write letters or sign documents.’ You’re not sure you’ll ever need to do either of them, but if he thinks it’s important, you’re happy to learn. Besides, it is a rather important thing to know.

Trying your best to imitate Alucard’s letters, you trace out your name time and time again, trying to keep the letters straight. Some of them end up crooked despite your effort, and a few letters get jumbled together, but it’s really not bad for a first attempt. You don’t think it is, at least. It’s not as neat as Alucard’s near flawless scrawl, but you think the letters are clear enough.

When you’ve filled the page with your name, you place the quill in the ink pot, awaiting further instruction for the man now scrutinising your efforts. ‘Hmm… an excellent first attempt. It could be improved with practice, but there is plenty of time for that. How does it feel to have written your first word?’ It really is your first word, too! Wow. You never even considered that this is something you’d be able to do.

You stare up into his eyes, which seem a little brighter today. ‘It feels almost surreal, like I shouldn't be doing this. And yet, I don’t want to stop it…’ You hesitate for a moment, thinking on what he said about his name. Would it be too personal to ask? It did seem like he wanted to share it with you. ‘Can you teach me your name, too? And what it means?’ Continuing to look into his golden eyes, Alucard seems… hesitant. Maybe that comment about his name was a throwaway thing? He doesn’t want you to know him, after all. Will knowing how to write his name be too much?

Moving his eyes away from yours, Alucard moves the paper with your name on away, revealing a clean sheet. Grabbing the quill, he quickly and effortlessly scrawls out a few letters onto the page. Ah Lu Ew… Oh, it’s Alucard! He’s writing his name for you!

His name completed, Alucard writes another word about halfway down. Du Ra Ah… Dracula? That’s his father’s name, right? Why bring him up? He’s never spoken a word about his parents, pass telling you that he’s Dracula’s son…

Finishing, Alucard sets the quill aside, and you can’t resist showing off what you hope is the right answer. ‘Alucard and Dracula. You and your father.’

Alucard seems pleased at your answer, but tense all the same. ‘Yes. The answer to my name is in his. Look at the letters. Do you notice a pattern?’ A pattern in the letters? Like a puzzle? Okay, you can do this. Time to prove that you’re not too stupid for him to teach.

Slowly, your eyes read the two words again, looking for similarities. Counting the letters, you realise that they both have seven letters. That’s not a real pattern though. Hmm… They both have a Du, and two Ah’s… but in a different order. Oh, that’s interesting. Alucard starts with an Ah and ends in Du, but Dracula starts in Du, and ends… You’ve got it!

Grinning up at Alucard, you proudly announce your conclusion. ‘Dracula is Alucard with all the letters backwards!’ You really hope you’re right. He’s going to think you such a fool if you’re not!

Alucard makes a noise in affirmation. ‘Yes, although technically, Alucard is Dracula backwards. Alucard is not my birth name, however. It is just the name I have chosen to use. It used to be accurate, once upon a time…’ There’s meaning in his voice, but you know much better than to push the subject; that he even wrote his father’s name is more insight into his life than you ever thought he’d give you.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you grab the quill, and hover the tip just below his name. Your hand is trembling slightly as you go over various letters in your mind, trying to piece a word together. Think, think…

When you think you’ve got it, you scratch out four letters just underneath his name, once again beaming with pride as you face him. ‘There. I can write your name now, too. Ache, Ew, En, Ee, honey!’ Alucard stares at you in surprise, and you worry that maybe lightening the mood was a mistake…

Alucard sighs. ‘Not quite. Here, let me help you.’ You have to fight the urge to jerk your hand away when Alucard covers it with his own, guiding it back to the paper. ‘Honey has five letters, and is spelt ‘H,’ His hand gently coaxes your own into making the letter appear on the paper, Alucard’s mouth now close to your ear as he whispers instructions. ‘O’, your hands make a perfect loop on the paper. ‘N,’ Your heart is beating fast now, Alucard feeling too close. ‘E,’ Is that your heart you can feel thumping away? ‘Y. Honey. That is how you spell honey.’ He helps you finish the word, and freeze up. Is he going to do something now? Abuse his close proximity? He has your hand trapped under his, it would be so easy for him to pin you down…

Looking at his hand, silently willing him to let go, you notice that his sleeve has ridden up, revealing a nasty scar that covers his wrist like a bracelet, and your heart plummets into your stomach. What happened to him? Was it an accident? Deliberate? It must have hurt terribly, either way. You want to ask him about it, but you find the words die in your mouth; now would be the worst possible moment to provoke him into doing something cruel.

Noticing your stare, Alucard moves his hand away, yanking down his sleeve as he does. ‘Even vampires have weaknesses.’ You’re not certain if that remark is for his benefit or for yours. It does confirm something in your mind though, especially when you notice the amount of pain swimming in his eyes; this wound was deliberately inflicted by someone.

The memory from earlier comes into your mind. A room. A pile of straw on the floor. The promise of safety, lost in a single moment. Fighting… running… The first indication that being a woman is too much of a risk.

Forcing the memory back deep where it belongs, you shed a tear, but not for yourself.

Your voice breaks a little when you try to speak. ‘It’s… It is easy to put your trust in the wrong person. It doesn’t make you weak, just as being unable to read apparently doesn’t make me stupid.’ Not that you’re sure you believe that…

Looking down at his now-covered wrist, Alucard frowns. ‘You cry so easily. I really wish you wouldn't. They won’t change anything.’ Change…

You wipe your tears away. ‘Bottling them up won’t change anything either, and I think I’d rather be honest with my feelings.’ As erratic as they often are…

Alucard’s voice is small and strained. ‘I am going to fetch us a book. See if you can remember how to write your name on a clean piece of paper.’ You’d remind him that you can still see the original sheet, if he wasn’t already gone…

Grabbing the quill once again, you begin to write your name again as instructed, hoping that you haven’t pushed Alucard further into his own seclusion. Still, getting that rare glimpse into his life was… something. As was learning how to write his name, if you can even remember that…

You decide to give it a try, writing his name out once just below yours. You’ll have to ask him if you got it right when he gets back, but it looks like it. You only hope you’ve not made a mistake and written his father’s name; there seems to be a secret there that Alucard does not wish for you to discover.

Still, at least he’s still being kind. You just wonder how much longer it’ll last.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard races straight to the library, needing to be far, far away from his curious guest.

He hadn’t meant to show her that scar. A scar invites questions, and he has no interest in answering them. There are some topics he dare not breach, and his betrayal…

How much has she figured out just from seeing that one small part of his body? Her words seem far too accurate for a mere guess. Even if she may not possess much knowledge of books, science, or even meals, she seems to be wise in other ways. She seemed to immediately know the meaning behind his scar, and even seemed to empathise with it. Has she been restrained in a similar way? Does she even realise it is in fact a mark inflicted by the cuff of a chain? Why did she cry? Was it for herself, some memory filling her mind with pain? Or was it for him, and a pain she assumed he has suffered?

Alucard is quick to disregard that last thought. Why would she shed a tear for him when she barely knows him? Even if her ignorance is of his own doing…

A thought occurs to Alucard, one that almost causes him to laugh bitterly. It is funny that he has chosen to cure the ignorance of someone he is determined to keep in the dark about certain things. Why teach her anything if he’s not going to teach her everything? Why hide so much of himself away when she is always such an open book, never minding in the slightest when he chooses to read her…

It is folly to think such a thing. He has told her enough. He’s even let it slip that Alucard isn’t even his true name. Not that she had pressed him for details after that fact was revealed. Has she finally come to accept that her questions about his life will earn her no answers? That would not be a bad thing.

Yet there is something gnawing away in the back of Alucard’s mind. Fragments of information he has inferred. Broken trust. Constantly asking permission. Staring at him in fear, as if she has pushed him too far. Is she afraid of him? Is that what his silence has given birth to? She is afraid of him, and he can do nothing to ease her fear without risking growing too attached…

As he turns down a corridor, Alucard’s movement causes a lock of his hair to drift into view, his cheeks burning as he recalls what she told him. Like honey, she had said. He is like honey, in her mind…

Why does that make his chest ache?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. Your continued support is so wonderful and amazing and we love it ^.^ Hope to see you next chapter for more Alucard goodness :3


	7. Shattered Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning for slight injury in this chapter, but nothing worse than before. Enjoy ^.^

It’s been almost two months now since Alucard first decided to take you in, and you’ve never been feeling better. For once in your life, some of your bones are no longer flush against your skin, a thin layer of muscle and fat starting to form. You know that layer will only continue to grow now that you’re eating three meals a day, Alucard deciding just over a week ago that you were ready to eat something called lunch. While lunch doesn’t always consist of something hot, often being some bizarre creation that involves putting slices of meat or cheese between two bits of bread, it’s always far more filling than the snacks you’ve been having. You’re beginning to think you’ve eaten more food in Alucard’s castle than you have your whole life before coming here…

You sigh heavily, relaxing into your bath. Now that your body is getting stronger, Alucard has been helping you exercise by acting as a post for you to lean on. After six weeks of being bed bound, your one good leg had been greatly lacking strength, the amount of effort needed to get it to work a lot more than you ever remember it being. It’s possible that that’s the reason Alucard decided to start giving you lunch, as a way to compensate for the extra energy you’re wasting trying to get around. You shudder to think of the state your other leg will be in, once your ankle is finally in a usable state. Alucard seems to think your ankle is improving though, so that’s a bonus. The sooner you can walk again, the better…

… Even if that means leaving your temporary place of safety sooner.

Suppressing a shiver as you imagine what your life is going to be like once you’re back to living on the streets, you lean forwards, preparing to get out of the bath. Another one of the many bonuses about being stronger and able to move about more is that Alucard is now willing to let you bathe yourself, rather than wiping you off in bed. Not only does this give you the change to properly clean your hair, which has grown a few inches since he first met you, it also gives you privacy, something you’ve found yourself wanting more and more lately. You don’t know why, but the thought of Alucard seeing you naked now brings with it a hint of embarrassment, despite him being familiar with your nude form thanks to his careful and thorough treatment of you. What once didn’t bother you in the slightest now makes your cheeks grow warm, some unknown force compelling you to hide. Not that you have any reason to, really. He’s already made it abundantly clear that he finds your body quite disgusting. Add to that the vicious scars that now seem to litter most of it, and there’s no way he could ever see your body as anything other than a broken sack of flesh. Maybe that’s why you hide it? You just want to hide from your beautiful saviour just how ugly your body is…

Carefully getting out of the bath, you perch yourself on the edge, using your good leg to help support your weight. Drying yourself off with care, you take a moment to look at the bruises on your ribs, which finally seem to be fading. They’ve changed colour a few times since they’d first been inflicted on you, something Alucard assured you is normal. He examined them for himself yesterday, while you’d used your arms to hide your bare breasts from his scrutiny. Even they feel a little larger somehow, as if they’re glad to be free of the constant binding. Either that, or the fact that your monthly cycle finally appears to be falling into some kind of permanent pattern is affecting them. Another side effect of eating well, according to Alucard. You wish you knew where the man had obtained all his knowledge of medicine and treatment. Is that another thing he’d teach you, perhaps?

No. You’re still asking too much of him. Just because he’s been willing to give, that doesn’t mean you should ask for things he isn’t offering. He’s already feeding you, clothing you, tending your injuries, teaching you how to read and write, reading to you, drawing you baths… It’s all so much more than you deserve. Asking for more would feel like shoving all of that back in his face. The worst part of all is that he’s never asked you for anything in return for all that he’s done. He’s not putting you to work cleaning or demanding sexual favours. He’s kind, and gentle when he helps you. Even if his words are prickly and occasional hurtful, his actions speak for themselves. For once in your life, you think you may have found someone that can be trusted not to abuse you in some way. A friend, if he would only allow such a thing… and yet the pain behind his eyes suggests that he’s long since closed himself off to such an idea. 

In some ways, his pain hurts more than all the cuts and bruises those men inflicted on you.

As dry as you can make yourself, you pick up your nightgown. Even this is enough to make you want to blush when you wear it in Alucard’s presence. The cut of it shows off so much of your chest! Had it been presented to you by anyone other than Alucard, you’d be suspicious of their intentions. Still, it’s not so long that it covers your ankle. He probably likes it to be on display at all times so he can monitor it. That, and a longer garment might present a tripping hazard. If you were to suffer such a fall, who knows how much recovery time it might cost you…

Your body concealed, it’s time to call out for assistance. ‘Alucard? Can you help me back to bed, please?’ You have no idea where he is in the castle, but you’re confident he can hear you; he always seems to hear you, no matter how much or how little you raise your voice. 

Not long after you call, he knocks on the door. ‘May I come in?’ It’s quite considerate for him to ask, considering you invited him in. Has he noticed your increased modesty, and is trying to respect your wishes?

Making sure that you’re as covered as you can be, you give your answer. ‘Yes please. I don’t think I can make it back to bed by myself, after all.’ One day… one day you’ll be able to, but then it’ll be time to go. You won’t have a bed to go to. Just the floor of an alley somewhere…

The maudlin thoughts are shaken from your mind when Alucard walks in, travelling over to you and wrapping an arm around your waist for support. ‘Oh, I wouldn’t say that. You are quite the capable hopper. Still, at least you have me to carry you, if needs be.’ God, that would be humiliating, now that you’ve started walking. It’s such a short distance from here to your room that not even being able to manage that would feel like such a setback. You need to prove to Alucard that his help is not in vain, that you’re healing nicely.

That you’ll soon be gone.

Limping along the corridor, you focus on each and every movement you make, afraid of ruining this ankle, too. The floor is so cold against the bare sole of your foot, a lot of the skin there new and yet to properly firm up. Your feet had been in as bad a state as the rest of you when you came here though, so it’s hardly a surprise. Will Alucard let you stay here until your feet are properly healed? You can technically walk on them, and Alucard promised you shoes, so they don’t need to be fully healed for you to be able to leave. It all depends on his judgment, ultimately. He’s the expert here, not you.

A small piece of rock digs into your foot, and you yelp, making Alucard pause. ‘Are you alright? Shall I carry you, after all?’ Maybe it would be for the best, pride be damned. 

Even with that thought in your mind, you still refuse him. ‘I need to strengthen my legs, or you’ll never be rid of me. I can take it. We should keep going.’ You give him a slight nudge, willing him to continue. You just don’t want to be standing here anymore, the effort of it still a lot to take.

With a dramatic sigh, Alucard ignores your wishes, scooping you up despite a squeal of protest falling from your lips. ‘It’s admirable to see you trying so hard, but you must respect your limits. Trying to run when you can barely limp will only cause more harm in the long. Baby steps, so to speak.’ But if you’re always taking it slow, he’ll never be rid of you! Then again, maybe that’s why he’s worrying about setbacks so much. It must be a nightmare for him, your injuries something that will take a long time to heal no matter what approach he takes.

Frowning up at him, you cross your arms up against your chest. ‘I’m not a baby, Alucard. I’m a grown woman, even if I am injured. I need to find a way to recover quickly, so I can go back to being a grown man. I need to be able to walk by myself.’ And run, but that really isn’t something you’ll be able to do for a while…

Refusing to put you down, Alucard continues onwards towards your room. ‘Walking will come in time. You are making good progress, under the circumstances. In time, you will be on both legs again, without my assistance. Then you can decide for yourself how much you wish to test the limits of your abilities.’ You’re certain there’s an implication there; you can test it all you want because he won’t be around to stop you. So he won’t wait for your feet, then? As soon as you can stand, you’re gone.

Arriving at your room, Alucard deposits you on the bed, handing you breakfast. The oats once again have honey on them, something that always threatens to bring your cheeks out in a blush. He’s yet to bring up your comparison of him again, which suits you fine. Yet the more you think about it though, the more apt it becomes. Honey is smooth, just like his voice is when he encourages and admonishes you during your lessons. It also feels sticky, and you are very much stuck with him right now. Would he take offence if you started to call him honey? Probably. A nickname seems far too affectionate, given the distance between the two of you. That’s and it sounds… cute. A cute nickname really wouldn’t be appropriate. Besides, he might detest the comparison completely, and you’d still do well not to aggravate him.

Watching you wolf down your meal with ease, Alucard smiles softly. ‘You have adjusted well to eating regularly. I was concerned it might be too much, given your years of starvation. It would have been a pity to watch you waste away after going out of my way to tend your wounds.’ His eyes falling to the floor, he says something in a voice barely above a whisper. ‘Perhaps I am my mother’s son, after all.’ His mother? You’ve never heard him mention her before. Who was she? What does his mother have to do with his treatment of you? 

You want to ask, but you know you can’t. Even if every fibre of your being is calling out to him, wanting to know him better. Why does he have to put up such a wall? Why is he allowed to tend your wounds, to save your life, but you’re not allowed to help him with his? It isn’t fair, not even slightly. Having someone to talk to would probably do much to ease the pain you know he’s hiding so carefully from view.

When you offer no comment, Alucard clears his throat. ‘I’ll be back in a moment. I need to fetch the supplies for your next lesson.’ He exits without another word, as he tends to, and you finish your meal in silence. The remaining oats always seem so bland once the honey is gone. It’s like the honey is the only thing that makes them palatable. You always long for it when you don’t have it…

Meal finished, you place the bowl on the table as always, failing to notice the full glass of water already there. By the time you realise what is about to happen, it’s too late; the glass falls to the floor and smashes, sending water and glass in all directions.

You shoot out of bed and fall to the floor, flailing around frantically as you try to gather up the shards of glass from the floor. This is a nightmare. What’s Alucard going to do to you when he finds this? After all he’s done, this is how you repay him? Breaking his things? He’ll beat you for this, badly. Will he make your ankle worse? Re-break your ribs? Decide that maybe your body does interest him, only if to torment you?

No. He wouldn’t do that. That would mean you were stuck here longer. He’ll just kill you for this, if he doesn’t throw you out.

As the shards in your hands leave cuts across your palms, Alucard walks back in, and you stare up at him, frozen in fear. What’s he going to do to you? What will it take to convince him not to kill you for this?

You burst into tears, shaking. ‘I’m so sorry. It was an accident. I can clean it up. I’ll find a way to replace it, when I can. Please…’ Alucard frowns at you, and you brace yourself for a hit, or his hand around your throat.

To your surprise, Alucard crouches next to you, closing his hand over yours before tilting them so all the glass collects in his. ‘What did I just tell you about resting? Look at the state of your hands.’ Placing the shards on the floor, he holds your freshly-cut hand in both of his, examining it. ‘I don’t think you’ll need a bandage, but I’ll wipe them down. Please try not to be so careless in future.’ With that, he picks you up off the floor, sitting you up in the bed before examining your bare legs. 

Warmth blooms in your cheeks as Alucard’s hands run up and down your legs, as if he’s checking something. ‘You were lucky. Had you knelt on a shard of glass, and had it torn through the gown… there are important blood vessels in your legs. I’ll clean it up when I’m finished with your hand.’ He… he’s not angry with you? How… you broke his glass. His property. In a way, that’s worse than stealing it. Why isn’t he yelling at you, at the very least?

You ask him as much, and his frown deepens. ‘Me getting angry would not cause the glass to magically repair itself. It was an accident. They happen. I’ve broken a glass or two in my life. If you feel you owe me an apology, then apologise for injuring yourself. I have grown weary of seeing you in such a state.’ That’s… quite possibly the nicest thing he’s ever said to you. That he doesn’t like seeing you injured. Or he’s sick of it, at least. 

Staring down at the cuts on your hand, you manage to stop crying. ‘I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to get upset with me. You’ve done so much for me, given me more than I could have ever dreamed of, and I’ve done nothing but inconvenience you. Why haven’t you asked for something in return? Why not just kick me out if I’m such a pointless burden?’ Maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned that. What if this only highlights the issue?

Alucard rolls his eyes. ‘Maybe you are an idiot, after all. If I wanted a servant, I would hire one. You are a guest, and how I choose to treat my guests is my perogative. Would you prefer to spend your days sleeping on the floor and eating nothing but any leftover scraps I decide to toss your way? If the answer is yes, then maybe you should leave, because I have about as much use for a pet as I do a servant.’ You’re trembling again now, the hint of ire in his voice alarming. If you’d only accepted his explanation without question, maybe…

Noticing your shaking form, Alucard sighs. ‘I didn’t mean that. I’m just frustrated. I suppose your doubting my intentions reminds me of… If it would make you feel better, I have a pair of trousers with a small hole in them. You mentioned once you can sew, is that correct?’ You nod, relieved that any hint of anger is once again no more. ‘I’ll fetch you a needle and thread then, if you wouldn’t mind helping me with that. Feel free to say no, if you don’t want to do it.’ Finally. Here it is. A chance to pay him back, even just that little bit.

You nod eagerly, wiping away your tears before remembering your hand. ‘I’d like to, but I think you’ll need to fix my hand first please, if that’s okay? I don’t want to get blood on your clothes.’ Not that you haven’t before; his clothing was probably ruined when he carried you here.

Alucard smiles, wider than you’ve seen before. ‘Of course. I’ll be back shortly.’ He’s about to leave, but he stops, a thought hitting him. ‘Please remain on the bed. If you try to clean up again, I really might punish you.’ The slightest hint of humour rolls off his tongue, an indication that this is a rare joke of his. 

For once, he actually gives you time to respond, deliberately lingering at the door. ‘I don’t think punishment is any way to treat your guest, Alucard.’ For the first time, you feel no fear or guilt accompanying your retort, confident that it won’t earn you any form of retaliation.

What it does earn you is a noise that sounds suspiciously like a chuckle, even if it is covered up by a cough. ‘No, I suppose it isn’t.’ With that he slips out of the room, and you find a wide smile forming on your face. 

Not for the first time, you find yourself thinking about something he said. You remind him of someone. But who? And why would it frustrate him so much? Has he tried to help someone like you before, but it all went wrong? What did they do to him? Are they the reason he’s so cut off from you?

You have all of these questions about the man, yet you're no closer to finding out the answers than you were when you first met him.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It would appear that Alucard has another person to track down.

Her reaction to breaking that glass was not normal, even for a person in her position. It’s just a glass, a single glass. He has plenty more, far too many considering that he lives alone. The way she’d looked at him, as if he was about to reach out and end her life…

She is hiding something from him, just as he has hidden much from her. A memory of mistreatment, suffered at the hands of someone that wore the guise of saviour. Unless they never were that saviour. They were just nicer to her than anyone else ever was. After all, how would she know what true kindness is when her whole life, she has been treated with such abject cruelty? To her, even the smallest scrap of food would have meant the world to her. Just like that apple had. And the stew. And the oats… with each act of kindness, her amazement grows, but so does her wariness. She won’t even allow him to see her naked now, something she never took issue with before. She is still expecting him to attack her, to take from her. It must be so dreadful for her, fearing him and any kind of wrath he might bring upon her, when she can’t escape him even if she wanted to.

For the first time, Alucard hopes that she recovers quickly for a reason other than her leaving this place. If she knows that she has a way to leave, maybe she would be more willing to speak without worrying about making him angry. He’d like that. There’s no joy in living with someone that’s terrified of you.

Oh. But if she was well enough to walk, then she’d be on her way. Why is he thinking of life living with her past her recovery? Will he… miss her company?

Ridiculous. He’s just starved for company, is all. It’s the human in him, his mother’s blood, crying out for company. Humans are social creatures, and he has been alone too long. That is all this is. A weakness, a hint of humanity.

Then again, would having someone here that reminds him of his humanity truly be dreadful? Hasn’t a part of him always dreaded the thought that he might turn into his father? Shouldn't he embrace the chance to strengthen that part of himself? To do what his mother had always taught him; be kind to humans. 

A whiff of something rotten hits his nose, a pungent reminder of what kindness has wrought. 

Is this how this ends, too? Does he finally give in and admit the fact that he rather likes the smiles and the company of the now-flourishing young woman in one of his many guest rooms, only to end up displaying her body alongside Taka and Sumi when his trust is once again shattered?

It’s moments like this that make Alucard long for his mother. In her wisdom, she’d know what he should do. She’d be able to offer him advice, at least. But it would be pointless. He already knows that his mother would be telling him not to let past experience cloud his judgement. That is ultimately what led to his father’s madness, after all. He lost all faith in humanity, after they hurt him in a way worse than anything he could have imagined. 

Alucard can’t allow himself to end up like that. He can already feel himself slipping. One more push is all it would take…

No. He is not his father. He won’t lose all that he is. He won’t abandon his mother’s teachings so easily.

A revision in his initial compromise may be necessary. After all, he hadn’t known the full extent of the young woman’s injuries. He half thought she might be gone by now. He can’t expect her to remain fully at arm’s length for the rest of her stay. She is also human. She must crave company, too. Even his. Is that not also a part of her recovery?

Alright. Fine. He’ll get a little closer to her. Not friends, he doesn’t need anymore friends. He has Trevor and Sypha, and having two absent friends is too much as it is. However, he’ll try to be more open with her the next time she asks about him, if he hasn’t already killed her curiosity.

For now, what he needs to do is collect a needle and thread, and find an old pair of trousers he can make a hole in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Alucard finally starting to crack? :O Possibly... you'll just have to keep reading
> 
> Thank you from both of us one again ^.^ Support for this fic has been incredible. It's really been keeping us going (that, and the overwhelming desire for Alucard to be happy T.T)
> 
> Thank you for reading, and hope to see you next chapter!


	8. Tour With Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, 
> 
> I don't think there's anything much in the chapter, but we do have an announcement at the end 
> 
> For now, enjoy ^.^

A few days after the incident with the glass, things haven’t changed all that much.

You’ve still been eating three meals a day bedbound, still enjoying reading and writing lessons with Alucard. The only real difference is that Alucard now brings you an item of clothing or two of his to fix, if of course you want to. You’ve been accepting each new item with a smile on your face, dutifully sewing up each new garment with care. Alucard seems to watch you all the while, asking once where you’d learnt how to sew, given that you’ve spent most of your life on the streets.

‘I watch people,’ you’d admitted freely. ‘I observe what they do and I copy it. Besides, it’s a lot easier to steal thread and needles than it is to steal whole new items of clothing.’ He’d accepted your explanation, and thanked you for your hard work, reminding you once again that you don’t have to sew things for him if you don’t want to.

In truth, doing something to repay Alucard’s kindness does a lot to ease your mind. If you’re making yourself useful, he has less reason to throw you out prematurely. That, and it feels nice, helping him in some small way. He’s done so much for you that it’s good to do things for him in return. You only wish you could do more… maybe once your leg is stronger, you could offer to sweep around the castle, if he would allow you to wander? You could use the broom to support your weight, until your ankle is fully-healed. It might be worth asking him, for yourself as much as for him. It would also be another way for you to pass the time, too…

Right now, you’ve finished both your sewing and your lessons for the day, and are enjoying some cheese and apples as a light snack, Alucard evidently worried that he’s not feeding you enough. You’re certainly not going to complain, rather enjoying the flavour combination. It makes you wonder what other bizarre yet delicious combinations your host will introduce you to during the rest of your stay!

The door opens unexpectedly, and you eye Alucard with curiosity. It’s not like him to return so soon after your lessons. Has he come to collect your plate, perhaps?

You spot a dress draped over his arm, quite possibly the finest one you’ve ever seen. If the intricate embroidery around the bodice isn't enough to highlight the talented craftsmanship, it’s also clear in the clean lines of the fabric, each individual element sewn together with flawless precision. The sleeves look long enough to reach the wearer’s wrist, while the square neckline would create a window of flesh without being too immodest. The most interesting thing about it is how it seems to taper in slightly around the waist, no doubt to accentuate the wearer’s… womanly curves. Why bring such a garment here? Is it an heirloom of his or something, in need of repair? You’re not sure if you’re good enough at sewing to risk working on such an expensive-looking dress…

Still, if it’s what Alucard wants… ‘Is that my next project you’re carrying there? If you leave it on the bed, I’ll get to it once I’m finished eating.’ You take a mouthful of food to emphasise your point, almost moaning at the flavour of it.

Alucard frowns, tilting his head slightly? ‘Project? Do you think this is something of mine in need of repair?’

It’s your turn to look confused. ‘Isn’t it?’

The corner of his mouth twitches into a small smirk. ‘It’s not really my style.’ You roll your eyes at his bad joke, but that doesn’t stop you from giggling at it too, his sense of humour still shining all too rarely.

You sigh. ‘Well I obviously didn’t think it’s something you wear yourself. It looks too small, for a start. I assumed it was some kind of family heirloom or something that you wanted me to tend to. Am I mistaken?’ If you are, then why bring such a thing here?

Holding the dress out by it’s shoulders so you can see it in its entirety, Alucard smiles softly. ‘I thought it would suit you. If you’re agreeable, I’d like to take you on a stroll around the castle, to see if we can build your strength up more.’ Wait… he wants you to wear that dress?!

Your cheeks feel as if they’re on fire, all thoughts of your snack gone as you stare slack-jawed at him. ‘Alucard, I can’t wear something like that!’ It’s too fine, too fancy. You’d look so ridiculous…

Alucard’s whole face seems to fall. ‘You don’t like it? Should I have allowed you to choose one for yourself? The person who unwittingly bequeathed you that nightgown had many dresses. Shall I fetch you a selection?’ What? No! That would make it worse! That would mean actually asking to wear one of them!

You shake your head. ‘I don’t want to wear any of them, Alucard. You’ve already done so much for me. I don’t want to start borrowing fine clothing, too.’ As tempting as it might be to slip it on, just so you know what it feels like to have such a fine garment…

Draping the dress across the bed, Alucard folds his arm. ‘I am not offering to lend it to you. It is a gift. The castle is too cold to have you wandering around in a nightgown for extended periods of time. It’ll do you good anyway, not always being in your sleeping clothes. Put it on, please.’ A gift? As if everything else isn’t a gift enough already. Why is it that he’s still trying to tip the scales so heavily in his favour, just as you find a way to repay him a little?

Trying to keep from staring at the dress, you stare up at Alucard. ‘I really appreciate the gesture, but it’s too nice. It would look stupid on me. I’m sure the maker didn’t intend for a woman like me to wear it. I don’t mean to make a fuss, but is there nothing I could wear that’s closer to what I’m used to? An old tunic and some trousers or something?’ Better yet, does he still have your old clothes? Surely you could find a way to salvage them, if he’s willing to spare you the thread?

Alucard’s arms twitch, like he wants to throw them up in exasperation. ‘It may be a little big for you, but you’ll look far from stupid. What does it matter how you look, anyway? I am the only other living soul in this castle, and even that is debatable. If your reluctance in accepting this gift has anything at all to do with your fears that I am forcing you to accrue a debt that you can never repay, please forget that thought. This dress means less than nothing to me. You would be doing me more of a kindness by helping me to rid myself of it.’ He’s just saying that so you’ll take it, you know he is, but if he’s really going to insist like this…

Placing your plate on the table, you grab the dress, examining it properly. It seems ever finer up close like this… and it’s yours now. You’re the one that gets to wear it, gets to walk around the castle like some kind of fine lady, even with your current walk anything but refined.

Fighting the urge to cry, you nod. ‘Thank you, Alucard. Can you give me a moment alone to get dressed please?’ If nothing else, it might give you some time to calm down; it’s been a while since your heart raced in your chest like this, torn between excitement over the dress, and fear over what it may yet cost…

Alucard clears his throat, and you stare at him, his gaze feeling warmer than usual. ‘Take your time. This castle isn’t going anywhere.’ A sad smile graces his lips. ‘Call for me when you’re ready. Don’t forget about your food.’ As if you could eat now, after him surprising you so completely.

You watch as Alucard leaves the room, before sliding out of nightgown. Nervous anticipation begins to bubble in your stomach as you finally get a chance to take in the whole reason for wearing this dress; a tour of the castle. Well, some of it, at least; it seems too big for you to be able to traverse in a single day, in your current state. Why is he even allowing this? He’s been very clear from the start that he wants you to know nothing of him or his life. What if he accidentally lets you see a portrait of his family or something? You’ll have to be careful where you look…

Before you put on the dress, you take a moment to examine your body. It looks as if even the smallest of your wounds have left scars, though it’s still hard to tell past the bruises. At least the dress will cover them, all except the one on your palm. The cuts from the glass were mercifully shallow, so that large gash is the only permanent mark you’ll have, but it will be permanent. There won’t ever be a day when you don’t have to look at it, and remember how close you were to death. The thought makes your stomach churn even more than Alucard’s offer does.

Sliding the dress on, you stand up, perching on the edge of the bed so it can fall down your legs. It feels wonderful against your skin, the perfect marriage of style and comfort. As predicted, it’s a little too big for you, your body still working on bulking itself up, but it’s still perfect. You can’t help but try to twirl around, appreciating the way it flows effortlessly with your movements. Your head feels giddy with delight, like a child with a new toy. You should see if you can do something with your hair! Is there a brush you can use to style it?

When a cursory glance reveals nothing, you rake your fingers through your hair, trying to word out any tangles. Pretty ladies shouldn’t have tangles in their hair, and if you want to walk around with a man as beautiful as Alucard, you should at least try to look pretty!

That thought makes most of you pause, though your hands decide to fall to your sides, abandoning their task. What’s the point in trying to look pretty when Alucard finds you so unappealing anyway? A new dress and neater hair isn’t going to change the way he thinks. Why would you even want him to think of you that way? No man has ever found you attractive, just… conveniently female, and even that thought hasn’t crossed anyone’s mind in some years, unless Alucard truly is plotting to harm you.

You curse yourself, mostly for thinking so little of Alucard. You can still see the hurt on his face as he’d told you he just wants to care for you. With everything he’s done, and the things he’s continuing to do, you think you’re finally willing to accept that even if he is closed off, he doesn’t mean you harm. He just doesn’t want things to get personal between you, and that’s fine. You wouldn’t know what to do with a friend, anyway.

As ready as you’re going to get, you call out to Alucard, ready for the tour to begin.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

You’re not sure how long you’ve been walking around the castle with Alucard now, but it feels like hours. The sheer amount of rooms here is almost unbelievable, and you’ve apparently only seen a very small portion of them! Each corridor is lined with rows and rows of doors, and while Alucard hasn’t let you see them all, you’ve seen more than you could have ever dreamed of.

In a way, you’re glad you’re going to be either bed bound or escorted for the duration of your stay; getting lost in here would be a little too easy.

At present, Alucard has taken you into a room that had made your jaw fall to the floor upon arrival. It’s full to the brim with books, scrolls, and strange devices, the likes of which you’ve never seen before. This room must be a dream come true to anyone interested in the pursuit of knowledge!

As for you, you’re more interested in hearing Alucard talk about it, the books undoubtedly too advanced for someone who can barely write a few sentences. ‘This is one of the places my father stored his knowledge. I would offer to show you the actual library, but it’s in need of repair, like a lot of this house is. While it might not seem extensive, the knowledge collected in here is without equal. It’s priceless, due both to its unique nature, and the fact that nobody would see the true value here unless they knew what they were looking at.’ Is he just telling you that so you don’t try to steal from him? As if you would now, after all he’s done.

You must be frowning, because he continues. ‘If I thought you couldn’t be trusted with my possessions, I would never have allowed you in here. I was merely stating a fact.’ Oh. How silly of you to assume… although come to think of it, he’s not mentioned your previous occupation for quite some time. Have your previous comments about only taking what you need reassured him?

With any imagined air of suspicion gone, you allow your gaze to wander, taking in the room in its entirety. ‘It’s incredible. You have more books in here than I even knew existed, and it’s not even all the books you own! It’s no wonder you like reading so much when you have so many options available to you.’

A faint blush appears on Alucard’s cheeks. ‘I was raised to love reading. You’re quite right, though. It is nice to have a hobby that I can so easily indulge in. Many of the books in this room relate to medicine, a useful thing to know when you have a wounded guest in your castle.’ It’s possible that you owe your life to some of the books in this room, then. A curious thought, but it’s true.

As your eyes continue to travel, you catch sight of a portrait on one of the walls, your gaze becoming affixed to it. A pale skinned man with dark hair on both his head and face is sat next to a desk, his hand grasping his hand as he looks forwards, presumably at the unseen artist. Who is that man? Why does he seem slightly familiar? His pale skin almost reminds you of…

Following your gaze, Alucard answers your silent question. ‘Dracula. That is a portrait of Dracula, my father. This castle was once his, after all.’ This is exactly what you wanted to avoid. Is this too personal for him? Letting you see a picture of his father?

Still, you can’t help but blurt out your thoughts. ‘You don’t look much like him.’ Except from that pale hue, but even that is off somehow.

Alucard almost seems to chuckle at that. ‘Not what most people would say if they encountered a portrait of the man that unleashed an army of night creatures upon the world, but you’re right. I didn’t inherit much from my father, especially in terms of looks.’ You’re not sure he inherited his personality either, unless he has a nightmare army hidden away in one of the rooms you’ve not been shown.

You turn your eyes away from the portrait so you can look at him, his own attention now focusing on you. ‘That’s not really a bad thing. Your father looks rather intimidating.’ Had it been him that ambushed you in the woods, you would have probably fled the forest before running several towns away…

Alucard hums in agreement. ‘Indeed he was. If we’re finished in here, there is one more room I would like to show you.’ Only one more? But you’ve been enjoying this tour so much! Is it because you’ve been asking too many questions?

Not one to push him for more, you nod. ‘Okay. Take me there.’ You grab firmly onto him for assistance, and allow him to lead you away, trying to ignore the way the portrait’s eyes seem to follow you around the room.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After more limping, you arrive at your destination, pausing just outside the door. What room is this then? It’s just as well you’ve decided to trust Alucard now, or else you’d think he was going to leave you in a dungeon or something.

That might not be totally out of the question, given that it must be approaching dinner time now. Is this where his kindness finally reaches its end?

Opening the door, Alucard invites you inside, and your eyes are drawn to a large and instantly recognisable room; it’s his kitchen, complete with a large table and chairs that can fit more people than you can on one hand. At one end of the table, you notice two places, each with a glass and spoon set up next to them. Does Alucard always set his table up for multiple people?

It occurs to you that you’re being stupid; the reason that this is the final room is that Alucard intents to have you dine with him tonight.

Looking at him for confirmation, Alucard nods. ‘It only makes sense for us to eat together tonight. Sending you back to your room only to have to come back here for your dinner seems counterproductive. Come, take a seat. It’s bread and soup tonight, as I was unable to tend to the meal and escort you around. Is that acceptable?’ More than acceptable. You can’t believe he’s letting you eat with him like this! Is that the real reason behind the dress? He wanted to make sure you’re presentable for your fancy dinner?

You beam up at him. ‘Yes please, if you really don’t mind my company?’ That’s a point. He has thought this through, right? He knows that dining with you means that you’ll be with him, questions and all?

Alucard sighs softly, encouraging you to walk to the table. ‘If I did not, you would already be gone.’ Very true. It’s not as if you’ve never spent time in each other’s company before. This might actually be a good chance to get to watch him closely, and see if you can learn more about him from his actions and responses.

As Alucard settles you down in your chair and goes to fetch some bread, your eyes catch sight of a pair of dolls sat on a sideboard, facing Alucard’s seat at the head of the table. What an odd thing to see. Are they Alucard’s? Surely not?

Placing a board carrying the bread and a large knife on the table, Alucard once again answers your unspoken question. ‘I made those dolls myself, based off of real people. Trevor and Sypha, if you want to know.’ Two people? Two people… like the two people outside?

You need to know. ‘Are they the people on spikes by the front door?’ You hadn’t managed to get a clear look at the corpses the day you first met Alucard, too afraid of being discovered. That fear really was unfounded in the end, wasn’t it?

Alucard grows tense for a moment, but he does answer. ‘No. Trevor and Sypha are friends of mine, or the closest thing I have. I’m not sure where they are at the moment. Probably off humping in an inn somewhere.’ You giggle at his choice of words, and he smiles at you, the tension mostly lifted from his face. He must miss his friends a lot if he’s making dolls of them like this. They’re not the best dolls you’ve seen either, his needle work a little crude. If only you had the proper supplies, you’re certain you could make him even better dolls. If you get the chance, maybe you could do just that, as a thank you for all that he’s done…

You must have been staring off into space, because you jump slightly when Alucard places a bowl full of soup in the center of the plates, before taking his seat at the head of the table. ‘Help yourself to as much bread as you want. You’ve done a lot of exercise today.’ You can’t deny that; your leg is going to be sore in the morning.

Still, when you make a start on the soup before cutting off some bread, it’s Alucard that reaches across for the knife, planning to help himself. You catch yourself looking at his chest while he does this, the shifting fabric revealing something unexpected; a flash of red, vibrant against his otherwise pale chest.

The question is out before you can stop it. ‘What happened?’ Alucard freezes just as his hand wraps around the breadknife, and you begin to backtrack, regretting both your poor timing and blatant invasion of his privacy. ‘I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry like that. Pretend I never spoke.’ He’s been so reasonable with you. More patient than anyone else ever is. Surely he won’t resort to violence now?

Exhaling deeply, Alucard resumes his task, answering you in a voice that sounds too small for him. ‘My father never had much time for anyone who opposed him, especially not in the throes of grief. Not even me.’ His father did that to him?! But it’s such a vicious-looking scar, far larger than any of yours. It looks like a killing blow, one meant to wound beyond any chance of healing. It’s a miracle that Alucard is even here talking to you!

Fighting the urge to cry for him again, you stare deep into your soup, as if it has the answers. What do you say to that? What words of comfort can you offer to a man whose own father tried to kill him just for speaking out? You feel like you want to wrap your arms around him and tell him you’re sorry, but you can’t. He would push you away, probably retreating back into his cloud of mystery because you pushed him too hard.

You’re knocked out of your thoughts when a piece of bread enters your peripheral vision, hovering above your soup.

Taking the bread in your hand, you look up at Alucard, his expression even. ‘I am still alive, in case you haven’t noticed. I know it’s not very nice to look at, but it is painless now. I am healed. But I would also rather drop this topic of conversation, if we may. It rather puts me off of my dinner.’ It might not cause him physical pain, but you know there’s another wound there, one he does want you to see; an emotional one, hiding in plain sight…

Still, you’ll respect his wish for a different topic, and grab the bread, dunking it into your soup. ‘Did you make the bread yourself?’ Is that change too jarring? Will it feel too forced?

Alucard cuts himself some bread, answering as he does. ‘Yes, I did. It’s quite simple really. Perhaps you’d like me to teach you how to do it?’ He would?

You nod enthusiastically. ‘I would love that! I’ve never really had a chance to cook anything, unless you count roasting meat on a fire.’

Alucard’s smile is back, and it makes your stomach flutter. ‘It’s still cooking, of a sort. Still, there are many other ways to prepare meat. Perhaps you could assist me with preparing meals in the future, as a chance to gain experience?’ You’d jump for joy, if you only could. Not only will helping him with meals give you experience, but it’ll be a way to pay him back by taking the burden off of him a little! Or adding to it… Maybe you should think this through more.

Then again, maybe it’s best to assume Alucard has already considered that, but is willing to help you anyway. That seems to be a very Alucard thing to do.

For the first time since arriving here, you think you’re actually getting quite comfortable here.

It’s just a shame that like all things, your comfort will only be temporary.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It’s such an odd feeling, eating with her. It’s been months since Alucard had any kind of mealtime conversation, and he hadn’t realised how greatly it had been missed. Meals always seem to taste so much better with company, and hers is quite welcome.

Alucard is glad that his metaphorical olive branch has been accepted, even if it did take some gentle persuasion. Hopefully she’ll be more willing to accept his company in the future now, some of her fears assuaged. He does so hate it when she looks at him with such fear in her eyes…

Giving her the dress was a good idea. It suits her, now that she is starting to regain her health. While it may hang off her now, she’ll fill it nicely in time. A few more good meals should see to that. All of her worries about looking out of place in such a garment are unfounded. He’s certain that she is far prettier than it’s previous owner, probably by quite some margin.

Wait, he thinks her pretty?

Of course not. He was merely thinking objectively, that’s all.

It matters not what he thinks, anyway. He could not possibly seek to woo a woman who is still so fearful of him, and he’s not ready to let anyone else get so close to his heart…

What is he thinking? This is what lowering his defenses gets him. He is walking a thin line with her, and thoughts like this do nothing to help him maintain his balance. Has he not learned his lesson yet? He must be amiable, but at a safe distance. Answering questions about his father is as close as he can allow her, and even that might be too much. Yet he told himself he’d answer her questions, and so he did. It has worked as intended, so that is all that matters.

Alucard even managed to earn himself a few smiles for his efforts. Even a giggle. That makes any information forfeited on his behalf more than worth it. That, and the way her face had grown wide in awe when he showed her all those books… What kind of face would she pull if he took her to see the Belmont’s accumulated wisdom? Maybe once she is more physically able, he could share that with her. She would surely be delighted.

That is a thought for another day. For now, he should just enjoy her company, in as removed a manner as he can.

There is no point getting attached, after all…

… Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, big heads up; as of next chapter, we're upping the rating to 'E', for 'Everyone is in for a little bit of a treat'. Of course, it's not the main course just yet. Just a taste of things to come :O
> 
> For now, thanks again for all your support, and hope to see you next chapter :3


	9. An Unbidden Comparison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Full disclosure; this was all Zalkyria's idea! I, the other member of the duo, merely acted as an instrument of their will!
> 
> With that said, note that the rating is now an E. 
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

The tour of the castle Alucard gave you two weeks ago feels like a distant memory now, even if you’re still feeling the effects of it. No longer do you eat dinner by yourself in the evenings, with Alucard coming to collect you every day so you can help with meal preparation. While it has been tricky trying to get to grips with some of the techniques he’s been showing you, you think you’re getting there. Alucard hasn’t complained at least, which is reassuring. He’s actually been very vocal in thanking you, which feels… nice. It’s a pleasant feeling, knowing that he appreciates the fact that you’re trying to help him. Just like the sewing, it goes a long way to easing your guilt about taking things, and the underlying fear that he might just take something for himself.

Getting to know Alucard has been nice, too. While he hasn’t spoken of his father again, you’ve spoken of many other things. Books tend to be a popular topic of conversation, with Alucard even going so far as to recommend some you might enjoy, once you’re more confident with it. You’d made the suggestion that maybe he should just read them to you, like he always does after a lesson. He’d smiled at that, and allowed you to choose which of his recommendations you’d like to hear next. Little moments like that really make you feel at home here, and cause your heart to swell with grief when you realise that some day soon, the comfort shall be ripped from you, and you’ll once again be forced to eke out a living on the streets.

Today is not that day though. Today, Alucard doesn’t have any sewing for you to do, so instead you find yourself curled up in bed with a stack of books Alucard had selected at random from the library. While it feels strange to read without guidance, it’s far better than going back to staring at the walls. Besides, Alucard has come up with a rather genius idea. If there are any words you don’t understand, you simply copy them down, and he’ll go through them with you later. That way, not only do you get to read, you get to learn new words too, and get some writing practice! 

At the moment, your sheet of paper is blank, but then again, you’ve barely even started your current book. It’s titled ‘Will Thou Keep My Secret?’, and so far it’s been really interesting! It’s all told from the point of view of the only daughter of a local lord, who has to pose as a man so she can inherit her father’s fortune. Now that she is of age, her father has hired her a new tutor, to teach her how to be a proper gentleman so he may present his ‘son’ to the king. 

In many ways, the premise is reminiscent of you and Alucard. The tutor so far has been cold towards the protagonist, who he assumes is a young man. The fact that he’s a teacher figure too really makes the narrative more relatable. Maybe when you talk about books later, you can finally recommend one to Alucard! If he hasn’t read it already which, knowing him, he probably has…

Focusing back on the book, you allow yourself to be drawn into the narrative. Right now, it’s the very first lesson between the heroine and her new tutor. Her father is attending to business in another part of the castle, a point the author has made very clear. In your mind, the tutor, Ser Michaelis, looks and sounds just like Alucard, and you are the protagonist. Is it normal to insert yourself and your host into books like this? It seems like the author intended such a thing. A question for Alucard, you think, as you read the words on the page.

‘As I sit at my desk, staring up at the man I had met only a few hours ago, our eyes meet, and he smirks. ‘Well young man, where shall we begin?’ I am uncertain how to answer that, thanks to both my own ignorance and the sheer beauty of the man. His eyes hold both mystery and mischief, and I am unsure which one intrigues me the most.

‘When I do not answer, my tutor sighs. ‘When I ask a question, I expect an answer. Are all young women so obtuse?’ My heart stops, his words barely sinking in. Did he just refer to me as a woman?’ 

Jotting down the word obtuse, you return to the book, eager to see if the protagonist can untangle herself from her predicament.

‘Placing a hand over my mouth, I make sure to deepen my voice before I answer his comment. ‘Good ser, I am a gentleman, heir to this very castle. Your accusations are both harmful and farcical, and I won’t stand for them!’ 

A few more words to ask about, when Alucard next visits.

‘Ser Michaelis leans forward then, his tongue whetting his lower lip. ‘Do you know what I won’t stand for? Being lied to by a woman. As your tutor, I am well within my rights to punish you as I see fit, and I do believe you are in firm need of punishment. Unless of course you would like me to tell the king your little secret?’ I freeze then, a cold sweat on my brow. He would do such a thing? If he were to tell the king, not only would my family name be sullied beyond repair, but my father’s title and land would be stripped from him. I cannot allow him to reveal the truth!’ 

This is one aspect of the book that doesn’t strike a chord with you. Alucard never punishes you for your mistakes, choosing to reward you for good work instead. His reaction to your true gender was much more muted too, with him barely making a fuss over it. It’s a shame this heroine doesn’t have Alucard as her teacher!

‘Steeling myself, I rise from my chair, a faint air of pride about me as I seal my fate. ‘I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep news of my true identity from the king’s ear. How would you see me punished, good ser?’ Hopefully, he will have mercy on me, forcing me to write various Latin phrases time and again until I commit them to memory. 

‘Ser Michaelis beckons me forth with a crook of his finger. ‘Bend over my desk and drop your breeches, so that I may bring the full force of my punishment down upon your delectable rup.’ I blush at that, not expecting such a response. He wishes to spank me, as one might spank a wailing babe? What could he possibly gain from treating a grown woman in a similar fashion?

‘His reasoning soon becomes clear, for as soon as my breeches hit the floor, I feel a long finger caress the lips of my womanhood before it slips inside, violating me in a way I’ve never experienced before. ‘Interesting indeed that your purity is still so complete. I shall have fun robbing it from you one day, when I feel you deserve it. For now, I would like you to count each blow, so that I may know that you are capable of counting at all.’ He removes his finger then, before bringing his hand down hard upon my exposed rear.’

You yelp, fighting the urge to throw the book away. What vulgarity is this? Why would Alucard own a book with such blatant filth within its pages? Did he even realise this book was this dirty when he’d picked it out for you? Surely there is no pleasure to be gained from reading such a book?! 

The image of yourself bent half-bare over a desk floods your mind, as an imaginary version of Alucard repeatedly strikes you, punishment for some unknown crime. Why does imagining that make your body feel so… warm? Not just your cheeks, which oftentimes warm at the thought of Alucard. No, this heat comes from between your legs, and makes you wonder what other images the book might bring into your mind…

Against your better judgement, you skip ahead in the book, another sentence catching your eye.

‘Kneel before me and open your mouth.’

What does he intend to do to the heroine’s mouth?! You have to know!

‘Forcing myself to keep from trembling wildly in anticipation, I willinging come to kneel at Ser Michaelis’ feet, fighting hard not to choke when he shoves his hardened manhood into my waiting mouth.’ 

Oh… oh lord. He put his… in her… and she let him?! Why? What could either of them stand to gain from such an act? 

‘My jaw aches as Ser Michaelis abuses my throat for his own pleasure, one of his hands gripping my hair to prevent escape. Not that I would, given the ache now forming between my thighs. Had I only the ability to speak, I would request to pleasure myself with my hand, so that we may both be in the throes of lustful ecstasy.’ 

You’re not certain what those last two words mean, but you’re afraid to ask, the context meaning they are probably vulgar. Still, it seems as if such an act brings pleasure to both parties. Would Alucard appreciate the act in a similar fashion?

Yes and no is the conclusion you draw. Yes, he would probably enjoy it, but no, it would not be the same. You do not think Alucard would be so brutish with it. He would wish to savour the act, whispering gentle encouragement as he reminded you that your own pleasure is equally important, and that you may do what you wish to gain that pleasure, unless you intend to wait for him to tend to you.

No, stop! You can’t start thinking about Alucard like this! The man barely likes you, nevermind… He’s been so good to you, so kind, even in his rebuttals. But ultimately, you know he wants you gone from this place, his home. Even if he wasn’t planning to kick you out when he can, he wouldn’t want your broken and unappealing body anyway. This whole thing is nothing more than an exercise in torturing yourself with something you can’t have. Not that you’d even want a man that is hiding so much of himself from view, no matter how beautiful he is.

You should put this book away now. Bury it at the bottom of the pile, never look at it again. Yet you feel compelled to know one thing; does she allow her brutish tutor to take her virginity, or does he leave her before he gets the chance? 

Skimming through the pages, you finally get your answer.

‘As Ser Michaelis impales me on his throbbing manhood, I can feel my maidenhood tearing to pieces, the last inch of innocence I possess now in ruin as he begins to rut into me.’

‘Despite his rough movements, the man currently ruining me for any other speaks with an even tone. ‘You are mine now. No other man shall take you like this. I have spent months cultivating you, waiting for the right moment. I have saved up each drop of my seed so that I may fill your belly to the brim, your body the only place I desire to deposit such a thing. You are a woman now, my woman, and may hell bring forth its demons if any other tries to take you from me.’ He puts all his efforts into the rutting then, and it takes every ounce of control that I possess to keep from crying out in joy. He is right. I am his now. I have been from the moment he saw me, the real me. He is right to stake his claim, just as I am right to accept him. I am, and always will be, his woman.’

Reading on was a mistake. You don’t have to understand all of those words to know exactly what the author meant. Is that what it feels like to take a man for the first time? Are all men truly so rough and uncaring, tearing into women with care only for themselves? If you were to give yourself to Alucard like this, would he be the same?

The whole thing has you so confused. On the one hand, you’re not certain you care for something that sounds so dreadfully painful. And yet on the other hand…

How would it feel, having a man that you genuinely care for inside of you like that? Feeling so close, so connected… the ultimate form of intimacy, of vulnerability. A feeling craved so greatly that men have tried to rob you of a choice in the matter before. Why would they though? Surely there is no joy to be found in such an act if it is lacking intimacy. Is that why the heroine described it as being painful? Because she feels no love for her man? What is the point in it then? Why give yourself so willingly to a man you don’t even love?

Then again, maybe the tutor is just a terrible lover. You’ve heard many woman speak of sex before, and while some complained of pain, very rarely have you heard of women getting no enjoyement from it, often complaining that they don’t get enough. They also complain that they don’t like their husbands, so maybe love is unimportant, at least in terms of sex…

You wish you could ask Alucard about this. There’s no way a man of his flawless beauty hasn’t ever had a companion or two in his bed. If only it wasn’t the most personal of topics, you might have done it. Alas, asking him that would be a waste of breath. While you know now that he wouldn’t get angry, he also wouldn’t answer you. That, and if you did, you’d have to admit to reading that book…

That book, and the images of you and Alucard that it has caused to bloom in your mind. How are you supposed to look the man in the eyes when you can’t stop thinking about all the ways you’ve just read about. You need to put it from your mind before he comes in for your lesson, or else you’ll be a gibbering wreck before dinner!

Placing the book underneath a few others, you take some deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. None of what you just read is real. It’s not going to happen. It’s just some lewd fantasy story. It wasn’t even that good! Except for the way it makes you ache for a feeling you don’t even know…

You wish it didn’t have so many parallels in reality. After all, it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to imagine that Alucard could be cultivating you in a similar way. Feeding you, teaching you, transforming you into a proper young woman so he can reap the rewards. If you didn’t know better, you could easily accuse him of training you to be his mistress! The fact that he thinks you’re ugly is the only thing keeping you from hanging onto that thought, as who would want an ugly mistress? 

Damn it, you’re thinking the thoughts again! It’s never going to happen. You’re not even his friend! You’re a guest, and you’re leaving soon. It would be foolish to assume that the kindness he’s shown you is born from anything other than his obligation to be a good host. As much as you want to be his friend, he would never allow it, so to think of him going beyond friendship is so far past folly that the word becomes a distant speck in your mind.

You’re so busy trying to calm down that you don’t realise Alucard is in the room with you until he speaks. ‘Are you feeling alright? You’re a rather alarming shade of red today. I thought you might like to begin our lesson early, but if you’re feeling unwell, maybe we should leave it for today?’ What, no! You can’t miss out on a chance to learn with Alucard just because some book gave you lewd thoughts!

Shaking your head in protest, you gesture to the glass on the table, it’s emptiness inspiring an excuse. ‘It’s just a little warm in here is all, and I’m out of water. I feel fine, really.’ 

Alucard furrows his brow, giving you a disapproving stare. ‘If you need something, you should ask for it. I’m not going to deny you. I will be back shortly then, and if you’re feeling well, we’ll begin.’ He picks up the glass and leaves without further comment, something you are glad of; it gives you extra time to calm down.

You just hope none of the other books in your pile contain such words, or else you’re truly in trouble!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As Alucard goes to fetch some water for his houseguest, he can’t help but feel… concerned. She’s looking rather unwell, far too feverish for his liking. It’s not even that warm today, although she is underneath a rather thick bedsheet…

Well, if she is unwell, at least she has plenty of reading material to keep her occupied. He just hopes she enjoys them. He chose most of them after little more than a cursory glance at their description, no time to read the whole thing. Still, they can’t be that bad. His father never would have tolerated poor literature, unless it was a book his mother enjoyed. 

Still, it’s nice that his guest seems to enjoy reading so much. What kind of new words will she learn from these books he wonders?

Hopefully some that Alucard is familiar with; he likes being able to answer her questions. When they’re not deeply personal, of course. And sometimes when they are. In fact, he just quite likes speaking with her…

Her company is perfectly tolerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading. It will be back to mostly pining and denial next chapter, but we both felt this would be a nice little way to mark a potential halfway point, though we won't say halfway to what...
> 
> For now, thanks again, and we hope to see you next chapter! :3


	10. Not Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Minor injury warning in this chapter, but that's about it. Enjoy ^.^

A little over three months have passed since that fateful day with those men, and you’re finally able to walk without using Alucard as a leaning post.

That doesn’t mean you’re totally independent, of course. It’s still difficult to put any real weight on your wounded leg, so leaving here is still not an option. However, now that he’s satisfied you have some strength in your good leg, Alucard has given you a walking stick, so that you can move around freely by yourself. He’s been encouraging you to use it as often as you can, but you’re still a little unsure. The toilet and back again is the longest journey you’ve been willing to take without having Alucard on standby, just in case your ankle gives way once again.

That’s the main reason you’re on the toilet a little later than usual, no longer needing Alucard to take you before he goes to bed himself. It gives you the chance to spend a little longer reading uninterrupted in the evening, and it means you can drink the water Alucard leaves by your bed without worrying how you’ll expel it again. Still, it’s quite difficult to traverse the castle at night. If you didn’t know the route from your room to this room inside out, you’d probably struggle with this whole experience.

Now that you’re finished here, it’s time to traverse that same route once more.

It’s chilly tonight, the cold air raising goosebumps all over your body. Would it have been better to change into your dress for the short journey? It would have been warmer, certainly. It would have also been far more modest. There is no guarantee Alucard won’t also leave his room tonight, and catch sight of you like this. Now that you’re used to seeing him wearing a proper dress, you like the thought of him seeing you in your nightgown about as much as you like the thought of him seeing you naked. You suspect that book you read, and the images it has left permanently burned into your mind, might have a lot to do with that.

It has become difficult to ignore how hyperaware you have become of your body when Alucard is around. It’s as if his mere proximity might cause you to melt into a puddle, a gibbering mess of hormones and unspeakable desire. Since when were you this kind of woman? Lusting after a man far better than you could ever hope to call your own… it’s just a dream, a fantasy, a-

Your mind is so caught up with trying to shake these thoughts of Alucard that you fail to remember the wooden threshold of the bathroom. You’re falling towards the floor before you have time to so much as yelp, your scarred palm catching on something sharp as you crumple into a mess of limbs.

Now you have the chance to cry out in pain, your ankle throbbing incessantly as you try to make sense of what just happened. Shit, is it going to be okay? Have you just made it worse? What if you’ve just cost yourself another few weeks of recovery? Alucard is going to be so unhappy with you…

As you move to examine your ankle, you realise you have a much bigger problem; the scar on your hand has reopened, and it’s bleeding profusely.

This is bad. It’s going to need bandages, something to stem the bleeding.

You could really do with Alucard right now.

But it’s so late, he must surely be asleep? Sure, you know where his bedroom is, and you think you could hobble there for help, but what if he really is asleep? Waking him up with the news that you’ve managed to undo his work of both your hand and your ankle would be a risky move. Will he decide then and there that you’re too much of a liability, and throw you out? You’re not sure he would, but it’s always…

No, he won’t. He’ll help you. Alucard always helps you, no matter what. This is an emergency, and he knows a lot more about medicine than you do. At the very least, he knows where the bandages are.

You have to risk it. It’s your best chance.

Trembling, you somehow manage to make it back into a standing position before you set off, pressing your injured hand into your nightdress firmly to try and stem the flow. Focusing on every step to avoid falling again, you manage to make it to Alucard’s door, pausing for a moment. Should you knock? It appears to be slightly ajar, so you could always just walk straight in. After all, you need to find out if he’s awake before you do anything else…

Pushing the door open, you can’t stop yourself bursting into tears when you notice that Alucard is indeed sleeping.

What do you do now? Now that you’re standing here, you’re not sure you have the guts to actually wake him up. He looks so peaceful, you surely can’t disturb him. Yet the bleeding won’t stop, and your ankle is still throbbing, and it feels like such a long way back to your room, and…

Alucard jolts up in bed, frowning. ‘What are you doing? Why are you he-’ He takes a moment to look at you, his scrutiny clear even through your tears. ‘Oh, my god. What happened?’ That last sentence is said far softer than his initial questions, and it makes you wonder why he thought you were here…

You try to explain, sobs constricting your throat. ‘I was… and then… I’m sorry, b-but…’ Why can’t you just tell him what’s wrong? He’s awake, and he looks worried, and if anyone can help, it’s him.

Leaving his bed, Alucard reaches you in long strides, doing something in the way that causes the room to fill with light. He stands before you then, his frown still present, as he patiently awaits an explanation.

When you still can’t speak, Alucard sighs. ‘I’m here to help you, remember? Whatever it is, I’ll do what I can for you. Please stop crying, and tell me what you need.’ He’s not mad. He’s not upset. He just wants to help. He can help you. You can trust him.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you try again. ‘I… tripped. I c-caught my hand. Do you h-have any bandages, p-p-please?’ You offer your hand to him, showing him the extent of your injuries.

Alucard grabs your hand gently, tilting it as he examines the cut. ‘You’ve reopened your wound. A pity. I thought it healed. Sit on the bed, and I’ll tend to it.’ He wraps his arm around you, guiding you to the bed. Once you’re sat, Alucard begins to look for something in his room, presumably the bandages.

Watching him as he searches, you have to fight the urge to blush as you take in his attire. While your nightgown covers your legs in their entirety, his doesn’t even reach his knees, giving you an undisturbed view of his deceptively muscular legs. While not the thickest you’ve ever seen, they’re particularly well-toned, and you find yourself wondering what they would feel like to touch…

Bad time. Very bad time, especially given the fact that it barely covers his… Equipment. You should definitely just focus on your hand. It’s still bleeding a lot, but you think it’s slowing down a bit. Have you massively overreacted over this? Would you have been fine to just return to your room?

When Alucard comes back, he kneels before you, bandages in hand, before once again examining your wound. ‘It looks worse than it is. Try not to worry. It will heal again. How does your ankle feel?’ He begins to wrap your hand up with the bandages, practiced hands making the task look easy.

You wriggle your ankle a bit before answering, assessing it again. ‘A little worse. It’s throbbing a lot.’ Hopefully you’ve not done any further permanent damage…

Alucard nods. ‘I’ll take a look when I’m finished with your hand. Honestly, what am I going to do with you?’ You don’t know. What is he going to do? Is he going to throw you out?

Fighting the urge to tremble, you give him what you hope is an accurate answer. ‘Treat my hand and send me back to bed?’

A low chuckles rumbles in Alucard’s chest. ‘Yes, that’s right. Although if it’s no issue, I think it would be best to carry you back to bed. You have lost enough blood tonight.’ You’re not about to argue with that. Perhaps you should sleep in something else tonight? Or in nothing at all. There’s so much blood soaking into your nightgown…

A thought occurs to you, a snippet of a conversation you’d had when you’d first arrived. ‘You mentioned before that if another vampire had found me, they would have drained all of my blood. What did you mean by that?’ You’ve heard rumours that vampires drink the blood of the living, but that surely can’t be true; Alucard eats food, just the same as you do.

Alucard frowns, and you start to backtrack as usual. ‘I didn’t mean to pry. I just remembered it, that’s all. You don’t have to answer me.’ Maybe you’re better off not knowing?

Alucard shakes his head. ‘I was merely thinking of how best to phrase it. Vampires are hematophages. They feed on blood, preferably human. Had another vampire found you, they would have considered you an easy meal, rather than a person in distress.’ So you’re right? They do drink blood? But…

You have to ask. ‘Do you see me that way? Do you want to drink my blood?’ Maybe that’s the real reason he wants you healthy? He’s rearing you like an animal, ready to be slaughtered.

For a long moment, Alucard stares at your freshly-bandaged hand, thinking hard before answering. ‘No, I do not. See you as a meal, that is. As for your blood, I admit I am curious about how it would taste, but that is all. Do you remember me telling you that few can tell the difference between a vampire and a dhampir?’ You nod, not wanting to interrupt him. ‘Would you like me to explain a few things? It may help put your mind at ease.’ He would do that? Explain more about what he is?

You smile down at him, his golden eyes still as entrancing as always. ‘I would like that a lot.’ After all, he can be so closed off at times. Getting to know what he is might help lower that wall he always seems so keen to put between you.

With your permission granted, Alucard maintains eye contact, and gives you his explanation. ‘Vampires are made and not born. Dracula was a man once, before he sought out the darkness. The opposite is true for dhampirs. I was born this way. My mother was a human woman who came seeking my father for knowledge. They fell in love, and I was the result, a creature that is not quite a vampire, but not quite human either.

‘That is where the true reason for this conversation comes in. If I was like a vampire, only able to gain sustenance through blood, then my mother would have either died during her pregnancy, or been unable to carry me to term. I can survive quite happily on human food, and I have been doing just that since before you arrived at my door. You do not need to worry about me drinking your blood, no matter how much you spill. Still, that is not a reason to be unnecessarily careless.’ The way his eyes seem to sadden at mention of his mother makes you want to cry again, the pain clearly still so raw.

Against your better judgement, you reach out to him, putting your good hand on his shoulder. ‘Thank you for telling me that, Alucard. For what it’s worth, your mother sounds like a special woman.’ His body trembles under your fingers for a moment, before he shrugs you off, bending lower to examine your ankle.

As he pushes your nightgown up enough to see your wound, Alucard lets out a small whisper. ‘She was…’ The urge to comfort him comes back with more intensity than ever before, but you stop yourself, him already showing you that your touch is unwelcome.

After pronding you a bit, Alucard’s voice is back to its regular volume. ‘I don’t think you’ve made it much worse, but it might be best to put you on bedrest again for a few days, just in case. You’ve been making a lot of progress lately, and it would be a shame to throw it all away thanks to a single accident.’ You have to fight the urge to frown, the thought of losing your newfound freedom for a few days upsetting you more than it should. Either that, or it’s because now you’ll be missing out on dinner with Alucard for a while, something that is more devastating than your hand injury.

Despite your best efforts, your disappointment must show, because Alcuard smiles. ‘I can always eat my meals in your room, if you are going to be starved for company?’ He would? That’s so considerate of him, but you shouldn’t be surprised; he’s been unfalteringly considerate so far.

You hum, pretending to think for a moment. ‘That depends. You’re not going to have me as an after dinner snack, are you?’ You’re teasing him, but such a comment also reminds you of that book…

If Alucard notices your cheeks heating up, he doesn’t mention it, instead standing and scooping you into his arms. ‘I’m sure I can resist the temptation. Although…’ He looks down at your nightdress, his brow furrowing. ‘I think it would be best for both of us if I found you a new nightgown. I think there’s one identical to this one somewhere. I’ll find it for you once I have you back to your room.’ At least you’re not going to sleep naked now. That would have been pretty awful, on such a cold night.

Getting comfortable in his arms, you fight the urge to drift off as Alucard carries you back to your room, all thoughts of injury gone as gently sway as he walks.

You’re unconscious long before he makes it to your room.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard’s heart is still racing wildly, the effect of having so many emotions rush through his body so quickly.

He’d been aware of her standing in his doorway as he tried to sleep. Fear had settled like ice in his veins, painful memories coming to the forefront of his mind. For a moment, he could practically hear the words rolling off her mouth. ‘You’ve been so good to me… let me reward you…’

Even thinking about it makes him shudder. The worst part is that her desire to repay him for all that he has done is so great that if he asked her for such a thing, she would agree with only the slightest hint of hesitation. In fact, once her body is healed, and she’s in a position to leave, there is nothing to stop her from offering herself to him as a parting gift. The pretty little thief he’d spared from a cruel and untimely death, assuming that she needs to repay his kindness in every way she could possibly offer.

Alucard is uncertain if her true reason for visiting is better or worse. The moment he caught the scent of her blood, panic had risen in his chest, for reasons unknown. Her sobs as she’d tried to explain herself, the blood dripping from her soil gown, the way her body trembled in fear as she’d tried to explain her actions. The urge to wrap his arms around her just to stop her shaking had almost been enough to break him. Maybe he should have done just that. Would it have soothed her?

Alucard is distracted from his thoughts when the sound of heavy breathing hits his ears. How is she sleeping right now? It can’t be at all comfortable, being carried around like this. Is she this tired? Has she not been sleeping well, perhaps? He will ask her in the morning, see if he can do anything to help her. She would never normally feel safe enough around him to sleep like this.

Then again, maybe she would.

‘She isn’t afraid of me anymore…’ This time he can be certain. She knows that he won’t hurt her without a shadow of a doubt. Good. It means that he can ease up now, go back to being silent when she asks him personal questions.

Only, he can’t. He doesn’t want her to be silent. He wants to speak with her, to share his knowledge with her. If only she had come to his door sooner when he wasn’t so broken…

She reached out to him, when he spoke. She placed her hand on his shoulder, and his heart had soared. Is this how it feels to crave friendship? Is it wrong of him to deny how he feels? He would like it if she considered him a friend, but could he trust her with such a title? More pressing still is could he trust himself to tell her to leave once she is well enough to do so?

This is the one thing he didn’t want to happen. He didn’t want to care about her. He’d honestly thought he could care for her wounds without becoming attached. He is a fool, and one day soon, he’ll pay dearly for that, just as he has before.

Not for a while though. Not while she can barely stand without assistance. She still needs time to heal, and while kicking her out now before he has a chance to fully let his attachment bloom would be a kindness for him, it would be so unspeakably cruel to her, and he can’t put her through that. He is someone that she has come to trust, and he will do nothing that could risk shattering that. He knows what happens when that trust is broken and he won’t be the one to deal such devastating pain.

She won’t become like him. She deserves better than than.

As he lays her down into bed, he laments the fact that she fell asleep before she could change. At least the blood is dry now. It shouldn't be too uncomfortable.

As he fetches her a clean nightgown for the morning, he thinks about what she said about his mother. Special, she had called her, a woman she didn’t even know. Did she say that just to comfort him, or can she tell that just by the way Alucard speaks about her? The way his heart breaks just to think of her?

Maybe his houseguest is also special, in her own way. She is certainly quite unique.

The kind of unique Alucard would be glad to call a friend.

He only hopes she shares his feelings on that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we've had a lot of comments since the last chapter about the book and it's previous owner, and we've like to add a little something here; 
> 
> If this fic reaches a certain as yet unspecified criteria, then I, The_Littlest_Raindrop, will write a one-shot detailing EXACTLY what the story behind the book is, and what happened the last time it was read :O
> 
> For now, thank you all for all the support, and hope to see you again soon ^.^


	11. From One Thief To Another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> I don’t think there’s any real warnings today, so enjoy ^.^

It takes a few moments when you wake up for you to realise where you are.

You seem to be in bed, the same place you’ve been sleeping for months. Yet you have no memory of being here. You were with Alucard, in his arms, travelling…

It makes sense now. You must have fallen asleep in his arms. He did tell you that he was carrying you back to bed, didn’t he? Yes, he did. He was going to carry you back, then fetch you a clean…

Panic sets in. Did he undress you himself because you’d fallen asleep? He’d have thought nothing of it, seeing it only as a task that needed performing, but the mere idea that he might have seen your naked flesh disturbs you. Even if he assumed he was doing a good deed, you’d still rather he’d left you in the soiled gown instead.

Sitting up, you notice something white draped over the foot of the bed. Is that the gown you were wearing last night? But it seems so clean. Did he wash and return it already? Have you slept in that long? Or did your nighttime visit deny him the will to fall asleep, so he decided to clean it then and there?

A quick glance down at yourself reveals all; you’re still in the bloodstained gown. He didn’t change you? He opted to respect your newfound modesty instead… you can’t deny how grateful you are for that. There’s nothing worse than having your bare flesh scrutinised by someone who finds it so hard to look at.

Deciding to swap garments here and now, you’ve only just slipped the clean garment over your head when there’s a knock at the door. ‘Are you decent?’ Knocking and asking to enter your bedroom is completely out of character for Alucard, as far as you can tell from personal experience. Usually he just lets himself in, your state of readiness be damned. Maybe he suffered an injury to his head last night? Maybe he’s overtired?

Making sure your body is covered, you give your answer. ‘As decent as I’ll ever be. Come in.’ This is undoubtedly your breakfast for the morning, hopefully with honey. Then again, as you did inconvenience him horribly last night, maybe he’ll deliberately deny you honey? You don’t have it everyday, anyway. Still, that sticky sweet goodness would go a long way to helping you, now that you’re awake and more aware of your body; while your ankle no longer throbs, your hand is stinging like mad.

Permission given, Alucard walks in, although it isn’t breakfast he’s carrying; it’s flowers. Wildflowers, you think, probably picked fresh from the forest. Unless your breakfast this morning is the flowers? You’ve already tried so many strange dishes under Alucard’s care, they really might be for all you know.

Grimacing, you eye the flowers suspiciously. ‘I’m not sure they’ll taste very nice, Alucard. Couldn’t I just have an apple or something instead, please?’ Does that make you sound too ungrateful? Maybe you should just suck it up and eat them?

Alucard seems genuinely confused. ‘What? Oh, the flowers! They’re not for eating, they’re for y- the room. I thought they might brighten the room up a little, especially considering you’re bedbound for a few days. How is your ankle today, by the way?’ They’re for you? Or for your room, at least?!

Your eyes light up, able to appreciate the flowers for what they are, now that you don’t think you have to eat them. ‘Oh Alucard, they’re beautiful! Where should we put them? Can I smell them first? Please?’ It’s been so long now since you were well enough to go outside, you’re actually starting to miss nature.

Alucard offers them to you, and you take them gladly, inhaling their fragrance deeply as he answers your other question. ‘I thought there was a vase in here, but it seems I was mistaken. I’ll find one while you think of where you might like them to go.’ With that, he leaves, and you take a few moments to think on that. Where would be the best place to put them?

That table next to the bed would be the best spot, but would Alucard trust you enough to leave them there, after what happened with the glass? Sure, the vase would be larger, and you’re not likely to forget that they’re on it…

When Alucard returns, it’s with a glass vase, some water clearly visible inside of it. ‘Well? Where would you like them?’ The table, the table, the table…

You sigh. ‘You should probably decide. This is your room, after all, and the flowers are your idea. Whatever you think is best.’ He’ll probably put them opposite the door or something, so he can see them when he walks in.

Thinking for a moment, Alucard eventually places the vase in the one place you would have chosen for yourself, careful not to knock off your current glass of water. ‘Here looks good I think. Then you can look at them as much as you want. You might still be able to smell them, if your nose is good enough. Shall I put them in here now?’ So he does trust you? Or he’s not remembered what happened to the glass at least.

Not wanting to argue considering you’re getting your own way, you take in one final sniff of the flowers before handing them back to him, watching as he carefully places them into the vase. ‘They’re really beautiful, Alucard. I used to love picking flowers when I was a little girl. I’d wander around for hours, trying to find ones that matched my clothes. I had to give it up when my father died of course, but that doesn’t mean I never take a moment or two to appreciate them. It’s nice to have a piece of nature in here with me.’ Especially considering that the next time you see it, it’ll be when you leave this place forever…

Alucard smiles at you softly. ‘Once I’ve found you a pair of shoes, I’d be happy to take you into the woods to pick flowers. It’ll be a good test of your recovery. Speaking of which, I do not believe you answered my question. How is your ankle today?’ He would? But if he takes you outside, won’t that be it? He said that once you leave, there’s no coming back. Does he want you gone, but he’s trying to find a way to soften the blow?

Smiling sadly, you flex your ankle, almost upset when it feels no worse than normal. ‘It’s no worse than it was before I took a tumble last night. I don’t think it’s set my recovery back at all, in fact. You’ll be taking me to pick flowers before you know it.’ That’s almost a euphemism, now you think of it. Maybe that’s what you’ll start calling your imminent departure; a trip to pick flowers.

That seems to please Alucard. ‘I’d like that. There are plenty of rooms here that need brightening up. Maybe you could help me choose some for the kitchen when we go? Then we could both appreciate them over dinner.’ How can you both appreciate them if he’s kicking you out?

You ask him as much, and his smile quickly turns into a frown. ‘I’m not going to just abandon you in the woods when I take you. I’ve yet to see how you cope with walking on uneven surfaces, for a start. It would be a good way to test your abilities.’ So it’s not to get rid of you? Or even just to please you? He just wants to test your walking abilities?

His revelation is enough to make you curl your body up a bit, embarrassed. ‘I’m sorry. I am trying not to think the worst of you at all times, I promise. It’s just… I know I’ve been here a lot longer than you probably thought I would have been. I wouldn’t blame you for getting fed up and making me leave. I know most other people would have by now.’ You’re just lucky you managed to cross paths with the world’s most tolerant man, who seems willing to wait as long as he has to for your recovery.

For a moment, it looks as if Alucard is going to reach out and stroke your hair, before thinking better of it, his arm hanging limply by his side. ‘I understand. For what it is worth, I’m sorry too. I know I haven’t always been the most accommodating of hosts, but that’s not because I find your presence intolerable or even unwanted. I am willing to let you stay here until I am satisfied letting you go won’t result in your immediate re-injury or death. That doesn’t necessarily involve confining you to the castle. If you’d like to wander with me in the woods to get your strength back, I’ll allow it.’ So you can go into the woods with him, and he’ll take you back? You’d never considered…

Damn it. Now you want to cry.

Better make a joke, to defuse your tears. ‘I think I would like that, as long as you promise not to sneak up and strangle me again if I stop to get a drink.’ Come to think of it, is that stream where he gets his drinking water from? That would explain why he always seems to have it…

Alucard chuckles. ‘I promise. While we’re on the topic of food and drink though, I should fetch your breakfast. I have a bit of a different plan for you today, due largely to your accident. One moment.’ With that, he’s off to fetch breakfast, and you’re left wondering what his new plan might involve.

Whatever it is, it probably involves little to no exercise. Unless of course he plans to carry you around the castle, but that would only be exercise to him… no, it has to be something else. An extension on your daily reading and writing lesson perhaps? It’s about all you can do, stuck in bed once again.

When Alucard returns, it’s with the usual bowl of oats, and a smile on his face. ‘I’ve made sure to put honey on today as compensation for making you stay in bed. Please, eat up.’ He hands you the bowl then, and you stare down at it, the pattern of the honey curious. Usually, it’s a perfect swirl, but today, he must have gotten distracted or something. It looks like there’s a large concentration of honey in two places, and a third line of honey just underneath. Yet it seems to have also been mixed in a little, as if trying to hide such a pattern…

Too hungry to think about it, you grab the spoon, crying out in pain when you remember your hand. ‘Shit… ouch.’ Okay, bad idea. You’re just going to have to use your other hand. It can’t be that difficult, right?

Before you have a chance to test that idea, Alucard takes the spoon from you, collecting some oats and honey for you before bringing it to your lips. ‘Now this does bring back memories. Are you going to open up for me, or do I have to convince you it’s food and not poison?’ Him just saying that makes your cheeks warm up, the hazy memories of your first few days here something you’d quite like to forget.

Opening your mouth wide to accept the spoon, that deplorable book once again decides to pay your mind a visit. In particular, that moment when the heroine had been so willing to open her mouth for something other than the spoon.

Your cheeks are on fire now, finding it hard to look Alucard in the eyes as you swallow your food. It doesn’t help that he’s feeding you honey, the food that most reminds you of him. Then again, the spoon is surely much more slender than he is, in a certain area…

As he removes the spoon to feed you more, you almost choke on your mouthful. These thoughts are pointless. What is it about him that makes you feel this way? Is it that book alone that has stirred these feelings up? Then again, you’ve always found him beautiful, so maybe this is the natural progression of things? A stirring lust that was always going to happen if you were left alone with him for too long… is that where all attraction leads?

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t realise Alucard is finished, only noticing when he speaks. ‘Given the state of your palm, it would be quite sadistic of me to make you write today. Therefore, I thought you might like me to read to you instead, as I usually do. Is that agreeable?’ Okay, so first the flowers, then the honey, now the reading… he’s really spoiling you today!

You shuffle up in bed, offering him his usual spot beside you. ‘I’d like that, but you don’t have to. I think I’ve already caused you enough trouble after what I did last night.’ How much sleep did he end up missing out on last night because of you?

Taking his seat without further prompting, Alucard sighs. ‘You are less trouble than you think you are. Besides, who’s to say I’m not just seeking to use you as a captive audience? We’ve already established just how much I like the sound of my own voice.’ You giggle at that, settling in as Alucard continues. ‘Now then, what shall I read you? One of these books I fetched for you, perhaps? How about the one at the bottom? I’m sure it’s a most interesting read.’ He reaches over to the stack of books he leant you the other day, and you feel almost giddy in anticipation of Alucard’s story.

Then you remember exactly what book is at the bottom of the stack, and your content quickly turns into dread.

Actively grabbing Alucard’s hand to stop him from grabbing it, you try to think of a reason for him to stop. ‘Don’t read that. I’ve already read it, and it was terribly dull. Why don’t you tell me a story from memory instead? I’m sure you must know plenty.’ Many of which don’t involve tutors making their charges bend over desks half naked to punish them…

If Alucard notices your strange overreaction, Alucard doesn’t react, instead settling back into his spot next to you. ‘If that is what you want, I’m sure I can think of something. What kind of story do you wish to hear?’ Thank god. If Alucard had insisted and read it…

Thinking a moment, you give Alucard an answer. ‘Something sweet. Nothing too violent. A love story, maybe?’ Wait, why would you want Alucard to tell you a love story of all things? He doesn’t really seem like a man who would put such stock in tales such as that.

Alucard hums, his eyes staring off into the distance for a moment. ‘There’s a story my mother used to tell me that you might like. It’s about a slave from the distant land of Egypt. Would you like to hear it?’ A slave? In a love story? What is it, did her master fall in love with her or something?

Curious both about how a love story could involve a slave, and grateful that Alucard is willing to tell you a story with such personal connotations, you snuggle up in bed, hoping he won’t be offended that you’re no longer sitting. ‘I’d love to hear it, please.’

Looking down at you with a soft smile, Alucard begins. ‘The slave’s name was Rhodopis. A slave since birth, she had been taught many skills to serve her masters, including the knowledge of how to craft sandals from vegetable fibre. She used this knowledge to craft a pair for herself, to protect her feet as she laboured.

‘One day as she bathed after a long day of servitude, an eagle swooped down and snatched one of her sandals. Unable to stop it, the eagle took off at some speed, flying halfway across Egypt with the sandal in its beak.’ You’ve heard about eagles living in the mountains, but you’ve never seen one. They’re meant to be massive!

Alucard continues. ‘The eagle eventually made it to the city of Memphis, where the king was giving a public address. As he sat facing the crowd, the eagle dropped the sandal directly into his lap. To say the king was surprised would be to understate his shock. Not only was the quality of the sandal impeccable, but the fact that it had been carried to him by an eagle meant it was surely a message from the gods. He ordered his guards to search Egypt high and low until the maker of the shoe was found.

‘Finally, after months of searching, his guard delivered Rhodopis to his palace.’ She was taken to his palace just like that? Such is the power of a king…

You stare up at Alucard, curious. ‘Did he buy her then? Decide that it was the will of the gods that she should work in his palace instead?’ But then why is Alucard telling you this when you’d requested a love story?

Alucard stares deep into your eyes. ‘He married her. He was so captivated by her, this simple slave whose hands could create such beauty, that he spent the time to get to know her, and in doing so, found a wonderful young woman. He knew then that the gods had meant for him to take her as his wife. So he did.’ The king took a slave as his wife?!

You gasp in shock. ‘What?! But he was a king! Surely he would have been expected to marry a princess or something?’ What did the rest of the rich people in Egypt think?

Alucard shrugs. ‘Who would argue with a king? He fell in love, and as I understand it, she loved him too. That was all that mattered. It’s all that should ever matter. After all, had my mother opted to respect societal normality, I would not be here. I think that’s why she liked the story so much. Had she not been so compelled to seek out Dracula, she never would have found her true love. She was a firm believer that while we may have control over our lives, fate also has a part to play.’ There he is, talking about his mother so openly again. Why has he been so willing to share things like this with you lately? It’s so nice, being able to hear more about him and his past. His family…

Trying to fight the urge to ask more about his mother, you ask him the next thing that comes into your mind. ‘If you were a king, would you marry a slave?’

Staring down at his hands now, Alucard answers. ‘If I loved them, yes. But I would need something far more substantial than a bird with an interest in footwear.’ Oh? What would he need? What would it take for Alucard to fall in love with someone?

… Why does that question make your heart ache?

Is that where your feelings are going? You don’t love Alucard right now… Or do you? Is that the reason you always feel so compelled to comfort him? The reason his smiles make your heart race? The reason you don’t want him to see your body, for fear that he might reject any feelings that you do have?

No, it can’t be. Or can it? You’ve never felt love before, so how would you know? This could all just be lust. That’s an emotion you’ve seen on more than one person before. Are you acting like a woman in lust? Would Alucard know the difference?

You’re so lost in thought that you barely even notice you’re asking. ‘What does being in love feel like?’ Alucard snaps his gaze right back to you, so fast you almost flinch. You almost wish you had asked a question about his mother now, as the topic of love is surely far more personal than that.

After looking at you for a tense few moments, Alucard finally answers. ‘I’m not sure. Not in the romantic sense, at least. I thought I knew once, but I was mistaken. Feelings can be a difficult thing to quantify, and love is the trickiest feeling of all. It changes you in a way than no other feelings do, for better or for worse. I’m sorry I don’t have a better answer for you than that.’ It’s far more of an answer than you were expecting. Still, why does the fact that Alucard has never been in love… disappoint you, in some way?

Still, you nod, not willing to explore that question. ‘It was just a passing thought. I’ve not really known any love in my life, romantic or otherwise. I never got to see how my parents loved each other, and I’ve never had friendships like most people. As much as I like to learn from watching others, there are some things I think that need to be experienced in order for them to be understood. Do you think love is one of them?’

Nodding, Alucard smiles sympathetically. ‘I’m afraid so. Still, now that you are growing closer to wellness, perhaps one day soon a bird will steal an item of your clothing, and you’ll be whisked away to meet the love of your life. If such a day should come, be sure to write to me, and tell me what it feels like, now that you are capable of doing such a thing.’ All thanks to him. Everytime you sit to write a letter, you’ll be reminded that he was the one that took the time to teach you, to encourage you, to help you when you needed it most.

Isn’t that love, in a way? Maybe not the love of a partner, but that of a friend?

A wave of tiredness hits you, no doubt due to the lack of sleep you had last night, and you find yourself closing your eyes, but not before calling out to Alucard again. ‘If I take a nap now, would you wait here with me until I woke up? I would like to hear more stories today, but I’m so sleepy…’ Maybe he’ll take a nap with you? You think that would be nice, having a nap with Alucard.

You can hear Alucard sigh. ‘Very well. I have little else to do these days other than tend to you. Sleep now, and I’ll think of yet more tales to tell you when you wake.’ And what tales they are sure to be.

You’d very much like to thank him now for being so kind, and you would, were you not already fully covered by a thick blanket of sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard has to fight the urge to laugh. His human companion seems to spend so much time sleeping. She has barely been awake an hour, but already she has given in and allowed her soft snores to fill the room. Not that he has any reason to stop her. Sleep is still an important part of her recovery, and after all that excitement last night, she must need the extra rest.

Alucard finds himself trying to fight off the familiar lull of sleep, comforted by her sleeping form somehow. It makes him wonder if she is not the only one that has grown to trust their new companion, if only a little…

Still, if there is one thing greater than Alucard’s desire to sleep, it’s his curiosity.

If there is one thing he is not, it is a fool. The way the young woman’s eyes had grown wide in horror as he had targeted a particular book isn’t lost on him. She had even dragged his reaching hand away, trying almost desperately to keep him away from whatever secrets the tome may hold. While once upon a time he may have allowed her to keep that secret, now that he has grown evermore comfortable with her presence, he can’t help but be curious. What is it that she wishes to hide from him, a man she was willing to ask about love? Surely there is not a more intimate topic than that?

The fact that she felt comfortable enough to ask such a thing makes Alucard’s chest ache, as it often does when he thinks of her. Yet still she had shied away from the topic of his mother, still determined not to pry into his life no matter how blatant an invitation to get to know him he gives.

Reaching over and slipping the book carefully out from the bottom of the pile, Alucard opens it on a random page. He scans the page quickly, looking for anything that might cause his companion to hide it. So far, he sees nothing. Just the usual comings and goings of a young man and his ascent into the king’s court. A common rite of passage for any man of noble birth in many countries.

Oh, but here’s something. Apparently, this man is no man, but a woman…

Ah, of course. He remembers picking this one out. It’s about the young woman forced to hide her true gender to someday inherit her father’s title and wealth. Alucard thought this one might strike a chord with his companion, given how she used to disguise herself in a similar fashion. The fact that the young woman has a tutor is another similarity, his guest almost certainly viewing him as much the same. Is she embarrassed for drawing the same similarities? That’s almost adorable, hiding her comparison like that. If anything, he’s impressed at her for understanding how art can sometimes imitate real life. Maybe when she wakes up he’ll tell her that.

Almost putting the book to one side, Alucard decides to read on for just a few more lines, curious as to how the story progresses.

‘As I am called once more into Ser Michealis’ quarters, a flush of nervous anticipation washes over me. How does he plan to use my body tonight? Will he have me on my knees, worshiping his manhood with my mouth? Or will tonight be the night he finally makes me a woman?’

Alucard makes a noise halfway between a gasp and a laugh, his eyebrows almost abandoning his brow to take up residence in his hairline. ‘Oh my, what vulgarity is this?’ Looking over at his companion, he’s relieved to find her sleeping softly, unaware of his discovery.

Wanting to confirm it’s not just the one scene, Alucard flick frantically through the book, fighting the urge to toss it across the room. The whole book is brimming with filth! Alucard may not be a prude, but even this is too much! Both the premise and the acts themselves are deplorable, and seem to solely involve the simply horrid tutor using the protagonist for his own sick pleasures!

After taking a few moments to let the information he has just read sink in, Alucard can’t help but feel mortified. What must she think of him for giving her a book like this?! Does she think he’s some kind of horrible pervert? Maybe her accident last night was caused by her trying to flee this place, to get far away from him before he can ask her to act out some of these deplorable fantasies!

Why is this even doing here? Is it… oh no. It must have belonged to one of his parents. Did they… ever act any of this out?

Alucard has to fight the urge to throw up at that particular thought, the image of his parents in this scenario making him feel sick.

Why didn’t his guest immediately tell him about this? She must have read it, surely, if she knew to try and keep it away from him? She should have demanded an apology for him giving her something so dreadful!

And yet, a small yet treacherous part of Alucard’s mind thinks, maybe she didn’t find it deplorable. She is a young woman, an adult, who is almost certainly prone to sexual urges. It is possible that she enjoyed the book, but does not wish to admit such a thing for fear of judgement.

It might even be the fear of Alucard telling her to act some of these scenes out, as a thank you for all that he’s done.

That thought only serves to make him angry. He would never use her body like this. Like an object, something for his own pleasure. He would be sweet, and gentle, and do all that he can to make sure that she gains just as much pleasure from the act as he does.

The thought makes his cheeks warm. He doesn’t want to do any of that with her! He doesn’t want to do it with anyone, not after last time! He is merely thinking as a concerned friend, that is all. He doesn’t want her to think that this is how a man should behave, if this tutor can even be considered a man at all. Maybe he should find her an erotic novel that properly showcases the way a real man courts a woman, with flowers and with love!

Then again, if he did that, she really would think him a deviant.

Placing the book exactly where he found it, Alucard instead selects one from the top of the pile, one that is hopefully devoid of such lewd content.

Maybe he’ll read through them all, just to make sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … that offer of a spin-off one shot still very much a thing ;) although we’ve yet to pick a target… maybe it’ll get done for the next major holiday 
> 
> Also, fun fact; Rhodopis is one of earliest known version of the Cinderella story ^.^ big thanks to Walcraft for bringing the story to our attention :D
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and hope to see you next time for even more Alucard in denial ;)


	12. Princess Of Flowers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; brief mention of a certain pair of Japanese 'visitors' in their current state. We've kept it deliberately non-descriptive, but it's worth noting anyhow
> 
> With that, we bring thee fluff O.O

While it only takes a few days to see you free from the clutches of bedrest, it takes a few weeks for you to bring up what Alucard had said about flower picking, almost nervous that he may have changed his mind for some reason. As if he has ever done such a thing when it comes to the promises he’s made you!

All he’d said was that it would be a few days before he could do it, as he still needed to get you shoes, but after that, he would be more than happy to spend a few hours with you picking flowers in the forest. He’d even managed to scope out a good spot when he’d gone himself, a small gap in the woods teeming with flowers according to him.

Well, you’ll see for yourself soon enough; only an hour ago, Alucard had presented you with a brand new pair of shoes alongside breakfast, and now he’s escorting you out of the castle and into the woods. 

The two of you must look like quite the pair this morning. Alongside the shoes, Alucard had seen fit to provide you with another dress, a light blue one that seems to be made of a slightly thinner material. You’d tried to refuse the gift, until Alucard had made the completely fair point that it’s a little too warm out to wear anything too thick.

That doesn’t explain why he’s wearing a cloak out today, but arguing with Alucard is usually fruitless. 

Of course, the main disadvantage of leaving the castle is having to pass his… warning signs, as the castle only has one door in and out of it.

As you take your first step outside the castle, you fight the urge to dry heave, the smell unbearable. Can Alucard not smell that? Stealing a look at him, you notice that he’s not even frowning. Has he become immune to the smell or something? If you asked him very nicely, would he be willing to get rid of them, or at least put them somewhere you can’t smell them?

Then again, as you probably won’t be leaving the castle much until you leave for the final time, it doesn’t really matter. He wouldn’t take them down for you, anyway. They got here first, as morbid as that sounds, and they’ll probably remain here a lot longer too.

Still, even if you can smell them, you don’t have to look at them; you close your eyes firmly, trusting that Alucard will guide you away safely.

Apparently noticing your discomfort, you hear Alucard speak softly. ‘I should have given you fair warning about those. I apologise.’ You’d love to answer him back with a token platitude or two, but right now, you’re afraid to open your mouth and breathe in the fumes.

Instead, you wait until Alucard gives you the all clear, opening your eyes and being greeted with the sight of the forest. ‘That’s alright. I understand that you want to keep people away, no matter how ineffective that’s been so far.’ After all, they did a very poor job of keeping you out of his life, even if they did keep you away from his part of the forest for a while.

Alucard frowns. ‘You were injured. I decided to make an exception. Let us speak no more of it. I’m much more interested to hear of your plans for today. Are we to find flowers that match your dress?’ A dress that actually seems to fit you much better now, with yet more meals aiding your body in becoming a much healthier size.

Making sure you’re grabbing onto Alucard, you gesture toward the forest. ‘I believe you have a spot in mind?’ You hope there’s a nice selection of flowers, but any flowers at all would make this whole day out more than worth it.

Relieved that you’re not pressing him for more details of the corpses, Alucard leads you on slowly, his eyes scanning the floor for potential hazards. ‘It’s not very far. Please try not to trip on the way there.’ Well, that wasn’t exactly something you were planning to do…

After only a few more minutes of walking, Alucard stops, pointing to a break in the trees. ‘It’s just a little further now. How is your ankle fairing?’ That’s a point. You’ve been so busy focusing on both Alucard and not falling flat on your face that you’ve barely had time to think about your ankle.

Leaning on Alucard, you rotate it a little, the pain caused by the action minimal. ‘It’s good, thank you. I think it’s finally starting to get better.’ You should be happy about that. You really should. But you can barely bring yourself to smile. It’s going to be healed completely before you know it, and then, you’ll have to leave. Now might be a good time to think of something you can do to repay Alucard for his kindness. Maybe you should remake those dolls? If you can convince him to provide you with the materials, of course.

Alucard hums, watching your movements carefully. ‘I’m glad to hear it. Of course, that doesn’t mean we should push it. Our little walk today should be plenty of exercise. We’ll break for lunch when we return, if you like, before we begin our daily lesson.’ They can hardly be considered daily, considering you had to have several days off when your hand was injured. It had been nice though, listening to Alucard read to you during those days, the temptation to cuddle into his side for comfort eventually worming its way into your mind…

Laughing as you walk on, you give Alucard a small smile. ‘I think I’ll need it. All this limping still takes it out of me. I don’t know what I’d do without my favourite leaning post.’

Alucard chuckles. ‘Trip over each and every bit of uneven ground in the forest, most likely.’ You playfully nudge his arm with your head at that, before giggling along with him. While he surely meant it in jest, he’s definitely not far wrong; there are far too many places here to snag your walking stick on.

Finally, you reach the clearing, and your eyes grow wide; it’s full of flowers, spread out in an uneven circle between the trees. Perhaps there was once a tree here that was felled, allowing the flowers of the forest to grow unhindered? Either way, it’s a darling little spot, the early morning sun still shining on it through the thick forest.

You squeal excitedly, tugging Alucard’s arm gently. ‘It’s so beautiful here! Do you think there’s somewhere I could sit down? I’d like some time to admire them.’ The ground here seems to be fairly dry, so it probably wouldn’t dirty your dress too much if you were careful.

Alucard scans the flowers, his eyes falling on a particularly sunny patch. ‘That spot there should be nice. Come on.’ With that, you’re both off walking again, the journey this time only lasting a few paces. 

When you reach your destination,you let go of Alucard and prepare to sit, only for him to stop you. ‘Here, allow me.’ He says, shrugging off his cloak and laying it across the flowers.

You stare between Alucard and his cloak dumbfounded, your cheeks growing warm. ‘I can’t dirty your cloak like this! What if the mud won’t come out? I should just sit on the bare ground.’ Even if the mud never comes out of your dress, better your clothing than his!

Alucard’s brow furrows, a grimace on his face. ‘No real gentleman would allow a lady to dirty herself like that. Please sit on the cloak.’ Oh, so he’s a gentleman now?

Well, he’s always been one really. For the most part.

Still, you can’t bring yourself to sit on the cloak, a frown of your own playing on your lips as you stare at it. ‘I’m not a lady, Alucard. Not a real one. I don’t want you to have to dirty something of yours for my sake.’ Not to mention that the cloak probably means a lot more to him than you ever will…

You almost flinch when Alucard’s hand makes contact with your shoulder, your surprise forcing you to look at him as he talks. ‘Surely you wouldn’t want to sully your gift either? Please, sit on the cloak. It’s more comfortable than the ground, in any case.’ He makes a fair point. Every gift Alucard gives you is so precious, you would hate to soil one of them the very same day you received it!

Despite your reluctance, you adhere to his wishes, taking a seat on the makeshift blanket that is his cloak. He was definitely right about one thing; it’s so comfortable! Would he think it rude if you decided to lay back and bask in the sun? Probably… Oh, but surely he wouldn’t mind if you took your shoes off? Your bare feet are cleaner than them at the very least.

If Alucard is offended when you slip your shoes off, he doesn’t mention it, instead smiling down at you. ‘I’m just going to walk around a little. Enjoy the flowers.’ A walk? Not too far, you hope; you’re not sure if your heart could deal with the anxiety that would flow through your veins if he wandered too far. After all, even if he did say he wouldn’t abandon you here, there’s always a slight chance that he’ll change his mind and leave you.

Then again, would he abandon his cloak? It seems to be made of such a fine material, you really couldn’t see him abandoning it like this.

Some of your worries assuaged, you allow yourself to properly take in the flowers around you, admiring all of the different colours and shapes on display. The way they dance so delicately in the gentle breeze, the sunlight gently caressing them, a slight hint of their perfume in the air… It’s so peaceful here. Serene. You could spend hours just sitting here, listening to the birds in the trees and you admire the true beauty of nature.

Speaking of beauty, you risk a glance in Alucard’s direction, only to find the man crouching down as he admires the flowers. How can a creature of the night be so radiant even in the daytime? His flowing blonde locks seem as if they have trapped the sun itself, its colouration even more vibrant than the flowers. You rarely get to see him like this, so bathed in light, but it suits him far better than the dark shadows of his castle. 

It reminds you of the first time you’d met him, in this very forest. He was bathed in light then, too. Yet that dull ache in his eyes made his shine seem so much weaker than it does now. Looking at him now, he seems almost a different man. Maybe you are just imagining it, but the sadness in Alucard’s eyes isn’t as prevalent as it once was. Sure, it is still there, but it is no longer all that you can see in them. There sometimes seems to be a hint of something more; happiness. More and more he seems to show you glimpses of that happiness, and you only wish you knew what it was that made him so happy. If you only knew, you’d find a way to make him happy all the time. After all that he’s done for you, he deserves that happiness.

Turning your attention back to the flowers, you feel a warmth settling in your chest, all these thoughts of Alucard stirring up your emotions. Why is it that you like the thought of him being happy so much? Is it born out of gratitude for him and his kindness and nothing more? Is this what friendship feels like, always wanting your friend to experience joy?

Could it be more than that? Is this how it feels to fall in love?

As caught up in your thoughts as you are, you yelp when something soft lands on your head, Alucard’s body now in your immediate periphery. What is this? Has he just put something on your head?

Patting your head for the object, you pull it forward when you find it, only to find… flowers? A whole row of them, somehow linked together!

Looking up at Alucard, the man confirms your suspicion. ‘It’s a flower crown. I thought you might like one.’ A crown? Of flowers? Like you’re some kind of flower princess?

You stare up at him, mouth grinning widely at him. ‘I love it! How did you make it? Can you teach me?’ You’d love to be able to make him one to match yours. Then you could both have a fine crown of flowers!

Alucard pauses a moment, before clearing his throat. ‘Of course. May I sit with you?’ Why is he even asking? He’d be a poor teacher standing up where you can’t see him!

Eagerly making room on the cloak, you pat the now-clear spot, watching as he gracefully sits next to you. ‘This is the technique my mother taught me. Flower crowns were something of a specialty of hers when she took me into the woods. She used to take me with her when she gathered herbs you see, so she could pass her knowledge on. She never could resist stopping for a moment to make me a crown though. The look on my father's face as I came home looking proud as punch, trailing petals wherever I walked…’ he chuckles fondly, his eyes glazing over in memory. ‘He never chastised me for it, though. Not when he saw how happy it made mother.’ Snapping back to reality, Alucard reaches out, plucking two flowers with ease.

He’s about to begin his demonstration when you stop him, placing your hands over his to still his movements. ‘I know you don’t like it when I ask too many questions, but if you ever want to talk to someone about your parents, I’ll listen.’ As if he ever would want to let you in like that. You, a woman he found half-dead in a stream, that he decided to take pity on.

Alucard sighs. ‘Not today. I do not wish to spoil our day in the sun with clouds of grief. Another time, perhaps. For now, I believe the lady wishes to know how to make flower crowns?’ There he is, calling you a lady again. Better yet, the fact that he’d be willing to consider opening up to you about his past, trusting you with that most secret piece of him… this really must be what friendship feels like, if it really isn’t something more.

A pity then that the sun won’t shine like this forever. 

Releasing his hands, you smile at Alucard. ‘Yes, please. I can’t promise I’ll be any good at them, but I’ll try.’ Just the same as you’ve tried all the different things he has taught you since your arrival here. How wonderful it is to know someone like him, so willing to give without expecting anything in return.

That thought only seems to make your chest ache evermore.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard has to focus hard to keep his hands from shaking as he demonstrates the proper way to link two flowers together by the stalks, his companion watching him with focus and determination. She’s always such a willing study, throwing herself into every lesson he gives her. He never tires of watching as she learns new skills, never afraid to give everything she has if it means doing the task right.

In many ways, offering to take her out here today was a mistake.

When was the last time he saw her in the sun like this? Probably the day he threatened to kill her, not knowing then just how special she is. How long ago was that? Six months? Five? Looking at her now, it feels like a lifetime ago. More accurately, it feels like he has known her for far longer than a measly handful of months.

Yet looking at her now, with sunlight flowing over her smiling face, and flowers in her hair… it feels like the first time he is truly seeing her.

When did the half-dead young man he’d pull out a stream transform into the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen? Those memories he has of her lying bruised and emaciated in his guest room as he tried to save her life don’t feel real anymore. How can this woman before him be that same person? She is nothing like she once was. Now she is full of life, and happiness, and it stirs all these feelings up in Alucard’s chest that he would rather not think about.

Even the personality of the woman currently trying her hardest to weave two flowers together is different. No longer is she the fearful and frail thing she once was, always so terrified that he’d harm her. He’s allowed her so few glimpses into his past, but with each one, she seems to grow bolder, more comfortable in his presence. It’s as if she’s blooming, just like the flowers currently surrounding them both. 

It makes him horrified to think that before too long, she won’t be like this anymore. Without proper care, all that she has become will start to wilt, and she’ll go back to being that same living husk that she was when they first met.

Why does she have to go? Why can’t he just ask her to stay? Surely if she had planned to betray his trust, she would have done so long before now? Even in her current state, there are many ways she could have tried to hurt him. She could have abused his hospitality, manipulated his willingness to do things for her. As it is, she won’t even accept a gift without argument. The only thing she’s been willing to accept without question is the shoes, and that’s only because he refused to take her into the woods barefoot. She’s always so humble and modest, as if she doesn’t understand her true worth…

Alucard is forced back into reality by a heavy sigh. ‘It’s no use, Alucard. I can’t seem to get the hang of it.’ She presents him with a loose stack of flowers, the stems on most of them broken. Ah, she’s being too rough with them. An easy mistake to make, especially in the midst of frustration.

Fighting the urge to chuckle at her almost childish disappointment, he smiles instead. ‘It was only your first attempt. There are still many flowers for you to practice on, whether you wish to do more today or at a later date.’ He would like to take her out here more often, if only so he can see her like this, and remind himself that his decision to take her in was the right one.

His friend, or so he hopes, smiles at him. ‘We can come back?’ If she keeps looking at him like that, then yes. Every day. He’ll even carry her here if she so wishes, sparing her legs the journey.

Alucard nods. ‘If you like. It certainly makes a nice change from the castle.’ Even if they really aren’t far from it, with him still so weary over potential thieves.

It’s funny. The one thing he is most concerned over is the one he is most comfortable having in his home. Still, now that he has come to know this particular thief, the only thing she is likely to steal is his heart…

He needs to stop this now. Allowing himself to open up to the idea of friendship is one thing, but if he keeps going like this, it would be so easy to fall in love with her. It is still very much for the best that she leaves, to spare him from such an affliction.

Without warning, Alucard feels his hair being swept back, before his companion tucks a flower behind one of his ears, smiling proudly. ‘There. I know it’s not as fancy or as special as my crown, but now you look pretty too.’ She thinks he’s… pretty?

Why does that make his heart beat so erratically?

She needs to leave as soon as she can, or heaven only knows where his heart might take him. It would be such a disaster, allowing himself to feel this way. 

A little longer. He’ll let her stay a little longer, enough to recover, but he will say goodbye when the time is right.

It is for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... And here is where the fun begins :O
> 
> Thank you again to all our lovely reader. Honestly, y'all are so nice ^.^ We super appreciate all the support
> 
> Hope to see you next time ^.^


	13. History Repeats Itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; where do we even begin? This chapter is as dark as we're gonna get, and contains attempted non-con, death of unnamed characters (that happens off-screen so to speak), and talk of past experiences. We have kept it as vague and unspecified as we can, but the warnings are there all the same. This is the warning
> 
> For now, get ready for the feels T.T

After a few more weeks, your ankle almost feels normal again, to the point where you’ve become largely independent. Sure, you need the stick Alucard had given you a while back, but no longer do you need to use him as a living, breathing leaning post. 

As pleased as you are with your progress, you can’t help but wish you did still need to lean on him like that. As tragic as it sounds, you’d come to rather enjoy the feeling of his body against yours, supporting your recovery in every way possible. Now you just amble along as fast as you dare, trying your best to keep pace as he walks with you to various locations.

The worst thing about progressing like this is now an invisible countdown has formed in your mind. It seems only a matter of time before Alucard declares you fit to leave, and then what? He hasn’t given you a replacement for the binder and masculine clothing he destroyed, both things that you’re hoping haven't slipped his mind. You’d remind him of that, if you hadn’t already used up all your courage and respect for the man to make a request.

It was a few days ago now. Ever since that day with the flowers, you’ve been thinking non-stop of a present for him, those dolls being the only thing you can come up with. While the idea isn’t terrible, the only real sticking point is materials; as talented at sewing as you are, not even you can conjure fabrics and threads from nothing.

That’s why you’d gone to Alucard, your guts twisting violently and your hands squeezing your dress, with what you were hoping was a suitable excuse. ‘Alucard, I know this is a massive request, and you can absolutely refuse it, but I’d like to go into town and, if you could spare me some coin, buy some fabric so I can make something. It’s a lot to ask, but it would really help me improve my sewing and stuff. I can pay you back for it someday, too! I don’t know how, but I will. Please can we go?’ The way Alucard had watched you evenly as you’d tripped over your words had been slightly unsettling, and you were absolutely convinced he was going to refuse your request.

However, after a few moments, Alucard had smiled. ‘Yes, we can. I know it must be terribly boring sitting in the castle all day, so if you’d like to buy a few things to keep yourself amused, I am happy to give you the coin to do so. Do not be offended if I choose to wait for you in the forest, however. There are a few herbs that tend to grow on the outskirts of the forest, so I would like the opportunity to collect them.’ Your surprise at his instant agreement had been immeasurable, so much so you’d almost pulled him into a fierce hug. 

That’s how you’ve found yourself in the forest today, walking at Alucard’s side with a large basket on one arm, your stick in the other, and a bag full of coins tucked into your dress. The fact that you’re even wearing a dress makes you nervous and uncomfortable, as does the sheer weight of the coins you’ve been given.

It bothers you so much that you turn to Alucard, a slight frown on your face. ‘While I am truly grateful for the money, don’t you think it’s too much? I’m only going to be buying cloth and thread.’ It won’t be heaps of it either, considering you have to carry it back to the castle…

Alucard frowns right back. ‘I want to make sure you have enough for what you want. Besides, you might see something else in town that catches your eye. You can buy whatever you want, and I don’t expect you to pay me back either. Spoil yourself, okay?’ Nope. Not okay. Not even a little. You can’t spend all his coin on yourself! The only reason you’re going into town in the first place is so you can make him a thank you gift. You’re not going to spend a single scrap of silver on yourself!

Trying to lighten the mood, you gesture down at the coins. ‘How do you know I’m not just going to run off with all your money?’ There’s that many coins in the pouch, you’d probably get quite far on it, too. Several weeks of food and lodgings at the very least, while you use your newfound knowledge to get a job. If you were so inclined, you really could take off and leave him!

Raising his brow, Alucard points to the stick. ‘I don’t think you could run even if you wanted to. I’m surprised you’ve even managed to walk this far. Besides which, I tr- know you don’t steal money. It would be counterproductive in your case, anyway. You have a roof over your head and three meals a day. Why trade that in for a single bag of coin?’ He’s got a point, on both counts. Besides, screwing him over after everything he’s done for you would be despicable!

Finally, you reach a break in the trees, the town in plain sight as Alucard comes to a stop. ‘I won’t be wandering too far. If you need me, shout for me. I’ll get to you as soon as I can.’ What might you need him for? You have your basket and your money, so you should be all set.

Grinning up at him, you nod. ‘Okay. I shouldn’t be too long, anyway. I’ll see you soon.’ With that, you wave him goodbye, confident that you’ll be seeing him again soon.

After all, he’s going to want his coins back.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Trying to choose the fabrics has been difficult. You’ve never seen such a wide array of colours in your life! 

Still, it would be wrong of you to complain. The variety on display has made it easy to find exactly what you’re looking for. You have more than enough fabric to make the two dolls. In fact, you could probably make a small doll army! You’d purchased the excess fabric in case you make mistakes, wanting the final product to be flawless.

You’ve also managed to break your promise to yourself; you’ve spent some of the coin on yourself.

While browsing, you’d spotted fabric in a shade that almost perfectly matches Alucard’s hair. That had given you an idea; why not make a doll of Alucard as practice? A small little something for you, to keep you company when the real man is busy. It almost makes you feel foolish, but then again, he did tell you to treat yourself…

After purchasing the fabric, buttons, thread, padding, and a set of needles, you leave the shop with a wide smile on your face, planning to head back to Alucard. How long have you been gone now? It’s probably been about half an hour or so, with most of that time being spent choosing the perfect shades of fabric. Hopefully that’s long enough for Alucard to have completed his task, too. Well, if it’s not, you could always try to help him. It’s the least you can do for him.

As you start to make your way out of the town, something catches your eye; there’s a merchant selling jars of honey, the sticky liquid practically glistening in the sun. You’re reminded once again of your comparison between honey and Alucard, and walk over to the merchant almost automatically, knowing what you have to do; you have to buy a jar, as a gift for Alucard. 

When you reach the stall, the merchant smiles wide. ‘Afternoon, miss. How can I help you today?’ Now that you can see him properly, you realise you recognise him; he’s the one you’d tried to steal the apple from. He’s the one who chased you into the forest, who allowed you to meet Alucard.

He doesn’t recognise you.

Have you changed that much? Or is it just as you’ve always suspected; the face of a beggar isn’t worth him even remembering?

Despite wanting to be far away from him, you hand him over some coins for a jar of honey, your desire to make Alucard happy more powerful than your memories of this man. Will Alucard understand your little reference? Or will he think this is just your way of telling him you want more honey on your breakfast?

Purchase complete, you make your way out of the town, heading back towards the forest.

You don’t notice that you’re being followed.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As you make it back to the outskirts of the forest, Alucard is nowhere to be seen. He must still be off collecting his herbs.

Not wanting to bother him just yet, you place your basket at the base of a nearby tree, the weight of it more than you were anticipating. You probably did buy too much in hindsight, but the pain of getting it back to the castle will be totally eclipsed by the joy on Alucard’s face when his presents are ready. You hope so, at least.

As you lean back against the tree, a group of shadows emerge from the direction of the town. The shapes of them seem vaguely familiar somehow. Have you seen these people before? Are they hunters, maybe? You’ve certainly seen a lot of hunters before, using the woods as an escape route as often as you do.

The shadows finally come into to focus, revealing a group of men, all of whom seem really familiar now. You’ve seen these faces before. All of them. You just wish you could remember where…

The men draw closer to you, too close, and a feeling of dread settles in your stomach as you notice that each of them is wearing a leering grin on their face. ‘Well then, aren’t you a pretty little miss? Pretty fucking stupid, that is. Wandering alone in the woods without a man to protect you? I think you’re just asking for trouble, and me and the lads here are trouble alright.’ Your blood runs cold, and not just because of his words. That voice. You know that voice. It haunts you sometimes at night, when you wake up in a cold sweat.

It’s him. He’s the man that left you for dead.

That’s why all the shadows seem so familiar. They’re the ones, all of them. They’re the ones that beat you to within an inch of your life before abandoning you in that stream. Now you’re all alone with them again, only this time, they know you’re a woman.

Trying to be brave despite your body shaking violently, you answer them. ‘I have an escort. He’ll be back any moment now, and if he finds out you’ve hurt me…’ Alucard would protect you from them, right? Or he’d try to. But he’d be so outnumbered… What if he got hurt trying to protect you?

All of the men laugh in unison, a second man speaking now. ‘What a stupid bitch. You think we’d believe that? I think it’s time we had some fun, boys.’ He makes to grab you then, but you manage to avoid him, stumbling as you do.

What do you do? Do you try to run? You couldn’t outrun them before, and that was with two good ankles. You only have two real options available to you; you can try to fight them, or you can scream for Alucard, and hope that he hears you.

You don’t stand a chance on your own against these men. You know that. But you’re also terrified that they’ll hurt Alucard. The thought of his beautiful body marred and broken as he tried to protect you breaks your heart. You can’t call out for him, you just can’t!

The men are getting close again, your situation desperate. You can barely see them anymore, as tears cause your vision to blur. It’s happening again. They’re going to attack you, and leave you for dead again. Alucard is going to find you broken again. All that he’s done for you, lost in a single moment…

No, you can’t let that happen. He wouldn’t want that to happen. Alucard is strong. Alucard can help you with this, and walk away unharmed. You know he can. You just need to trust him and his abilities. After all, he’s not even human. Surely the supernatural blood in his veins would be enough to see him through this fight? 

The image of that scar on his chest comes back. If he can survive the wrath of Dracula, he can save you from these men.

Taking in a deep breath, you scream at the top of your lungs. ‘Alucard! Help me! Please!’

Your attackers pause for a moment, before bursting into laughter. ‘Alucard?!’ One of them says in disbelief. ‘What the fuck kind of made up name is that? Fucking Alucard! Oh, we’re going to have some fun with you, you lying little whore.’ He raises his fist to you, and you raise your hands to protect yourself, closing your eyes as you wait for the impact.

It never comes.

Instead, a familiar voice sounds from directly in front of you. ‘It’s a family name, or a sort. Do you mind telling me what business you have with my friend, or shall I kill you now and spare myself the bother?’ Alucard! He came! He really came!

When you open your eyes, all you can see is his cape, shielding you from both the bodies and the gazes of those men.

Their leader speaks again, his voice laced with fear despite his words. ‘Piss off, mate. There’s only one of you, and a whole lotta us! How about you hand over the lady before we make a mess of that pretty face of yours!’ They wouldn’t. They couldn’t. If he managed to appear this quickly, he’s at least fast enough to dodge a few blows.

Alucard laughs, although the sound is completely devoid of humour. ‘I would say that I’d sooner die, but I don’t think I’m in that much danger.’ He turns to you then, frowning gently. ‘Did they touch you?’ Not today, but before…

You practically choke on your words, tears transforming into sobs. ‘T-The stream! Them! They…’ Is that enough? Will Alucard understand?

As close as you are to him, you can practically feel Alucard shake as he turns back to face the men, anger rolling off of him in waves. ‘It would appear your fate is sealed, then. I wonder, do you recall an incident that happened several months ago, involving a young man and a pair of shoes?’ He got the message then? Good. At least he knows now what they look like.

You hear one of the men spit on the ground. ‘Yeah, I remember. Some dirty little urchin tried to steal from me, so me and the boys here put him down like the dog he is. We didn’t even have to bury the bastard. When we went back for his body the next day, he’d already been had. Why? Surely that boy couldn’t have anything to do with that fine piece of ass behind you?’ Hearing them speak about you like that makes you feel sick. You can’t be here anymore, you just can’t…

As you begin to back further and further away, Alucard speaks, and you notice his nails growing longer as he brings a hand up to examine them. ‘A dog, you say? That is how you saw them? A starving human being decided to raid your rubbish in desperation and that’s what you saw? An animal? Killing you is hardly worth my time or energy, but that doesn’t mean I won’t draw satisfaction from the act. I’ll sleep well tonight, knowing that I’ve rid this world of men like you, if I dare even give you that title.’ As Alucard takes up what you think is a fighting stance, you decide that you can take no more; turning around, you flee as fast as you can, dropping your walking stick as you try to distance yourself from the situation.

It doesn’t take long for you to hear screaming.

Panic runs through your mind. Who is screaming? Is it Alucard? What if he’s back there right now, needing your help? Why did you abandon him like this to save your own skin? You should go back to him, help him in any way you can, but you can’t. You’re terrified. All you can do is keep running, trying to get away.

You’re so lost in thought that you don’t notice the tree root sticking out until you’re already on the ground.

As your arms brace your impact, you’re aware of an immense amount of pain in your already bad ankle. Oh shit, you’ve messed it up bad this time. This is more than that accident you had that night leaving the bathroom. 

Between the pain in your ankle and the fear in your chest, all you can do is lay there and stop, praying that Alucard is the one who wins the fight and finds you; if it’s those men again, then you pray for a quick death.

A gentle hand on your shoulder makes you flinch, and you choke out a relieved laugh when you notice it belongs to Alucard, who is crouching beside you with your abandoned basket and walking stick next to him.

Despite the pain, you manage to clamber into his arms, the ache in your chest from your sobs soothing slightly as he wraps his arms around you, cradling you into his chest. ‘It’s alright. It’s over now. Those men are never going to lay a hand on you again. I’m so sorry for scaring you like that, but I couldn’t let them walk away after what they did to you. Do you still want to come home with me?’ You cling to the fabric of his shirt tightly, still too scared to speak. ‘Alright then. Hold on to me as hard as you can. We’ll need to travel quickly so I can check your ankle.’ You feel him stand then, and you hold onto him for dear life, allowing yourself to be carried… home, he had called it. Not the castle, but home. You like the sound of that. You wish you could call it that.

For now, all you can do is try to stop the sobs from stealing your breath completely.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

You’re so out of it the whole journey back that you’re almost shocked when you feel yourself being sat down on the bed, fingers practically embedded in Alucard’s shirt now.

As he tries to move away from you, you cling harder, until he brings his slender fingers up to pry them away carefully. ‘I’m not going anywhere. I just need to check your ankle. Is that okay?’ You nod, finally releasing your hold on him so he can move down and pull your dress up enough to reveal your ankle.

You hiss when Alucard touches it, causing the man to frown. ‘It’s worse than it was this morning, but I don’t think it’s broken. Still, I’m glad you have more means to amuse yourself now, because I don’t think you’ll be leaving bed much for a few weeks.’ That only makes you want to cry more. After all the trouble you’ve already caused him, now you’ve lost weeks of progress on your leg, meaning he's stuck with you even longer.

His inspection complete, Alucard encourages you to shuffle up enough for him to sit next to you, only to immediately bring you back up into his arms. ‘I’m so sorry about this. It was a mistake to leave you alone as I did. I should have accompanied you into town, or at least been waiting for you when you got back. Forgive me for this.’ One of his hands starts to stroke your hair, and despite the dread still stuck in your chest, calmness begins to creep in there too, his presence comforting you like nothing else ever has.

Resting your cheek against his chest, you finally manage to speak. ‘Not your fault.’ You were the one who decided to wait for his return. If you’d only called out sooner…

Alucard keeps on stroking your hair, probably noticing how calming it is. ‘It isn’t yours either. It was those men, those animals, that did this. They are the only ones to blame for this.’ Now they are dead… is it bad that you don’t feel even the slightest bit of sympathy for them? Men like that deserve…

The long buried memory is back again. Why? Why must you think of it again now? That man. The straw floor. Running… as if you weren’t traumatised enough by the memory of the stream.

Sitting back so you can look in Alucard’s eyes, you start to tremble again, your voice coming out as little more than a whisper. ‘I lied to you once. You asked me about being a man, and I said it was those drunks. It wasn’t. It isn’t. There was something else. Something I’ve never told anyone about. Something I’ve tried so h-hard…’ 

The hand in your hair comes forward to wipe away your tears. ‘You can trust me. If you need to talk about it, I’ll listen.’ That’s almost what you’re afraid of. What if he hates you for what you’re about to tell him?

Bracing yourself, you begin your story, finally acknowledging the memory. ‘It was several years after my father died. An old neighbour found me, recognised me. He let me stay in his house, on an old pile of straw…’ You can still feel the impression of it against your skin, digging in as you tried so desperately to sleep.

Trying to ignore the ghost of that feeling, you continue. ‘He used to feed me old scraps of food in exchange for labour. A bit of bread for a clean pile of washing, some slightly moldy cheese for sweeping the house. I was so grateful to him. After spending years on the street, I thought this was the most amazing act of kindness. Even though there were times where he hit me for my mistakes, I still trusted him. I never thought that one day…

‘It was dark. I was trying to sleep. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I opened them again, I could see his eyes peering down at me. He told me it was getting hard for him to feed me, and if I wanted to stay, I’d have to…’ You choke on a sob. ‘I said n-n-no but he… So I pushed him away and h-h-he… and I…’ You ran away. Found a quiet corner of some alleyway and sobbed for hours, horrified, unsure what to do.

Alucard starts stroking your hair again, hushing you softly. ‘It’s okay. You didn’t know. You trusted him, and he betrayed that. You were protecting yourself.’ Does he not understand what you’re trying to tell him? 

You push his hand away, trying to talk. ‘I never saw him again. I think… I think I… I killed…’ There it is. He can’t mistake that for anything else. He knows the truth now, a truth you’ve been trying to hide even from yourself.

Alucard’s eyes pierce into your own, a deep and bottomless sorrow made bare for you. ‘You once told me that it was easy to place your trust in the wrong person, and you were right. I put my trust in the wrong people, in the same way you did, with an almost identical outcome. They were going to kill me, so I killed them. The only difference is that I knew what I was doing. You just didn’t want him to hurt you.’ Looking at Alucard’s wrist, you can see his scar again, even through your tears. They wanted him dead. This man, the man who has shown you nothing but kindness no matter what you’ve done…

Placing your hand over his wrist, you stroke his scar. ‘I’m so sorry, Alucard. You’ve never… You don’t deserve this kind of pain. I wish I could take it from you, add it to my own, make you feel happy again…’ Does he even remember what that feels like? What it feels like to be truly happy, without carrying around the memories of such sadness?

Freeing his hand from your grip, Alucard strokes your hair again, coaxing you to look at him again. ‘I don’t want my happiness to come at the cost of yours. I would be a poor friend if I did.’ A few stray tears fall from his eyes as your heart swells. A friend? He says you’re his friend?

You hug Alucard fiercely, never wanting to let him go. Finally, after all these years of being alone, you finally have someone you can call a friend. 

Your emotional morning and excess exercise finally catch up with you, and you yawn loudly, snuggling into Alucard more. ‘I always want to sleep when I’m with you. Does that offend you?’ 

Alucard chuckles slightly. ‘It might, if you didn’t have several valid reasons for being so tired. Shall I let you rest?’ What? He’s going to leave you if you fall asleep?!

You shake your head. ‘I want to sleep, but I don’t want to be alone. I’ll try to stay awake if you’ll stay with me like this.’ Come to think of it, when was the last time anyone held you like this? Why is Alucard doing it? He’s usually as distant physically as he is emotionally…

Shuffling down, Alucard lays back in the bed, his arms still around you as your head settles on his chest. ‘We’ll compromise, then. You sleep, and I’ll stay.’ He will? But he’ll be so bored, just waiting as you sleep!

You would argue, but you’re far too comfortable for that. Instead, you close your eyes, and let yourself slowly fade away into sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

What is this feeling in Alucard’s chest that he can’t seem to shake? This position should be so uncomfortable. He has a woman’s head pressing uncomfortably into his head, one of his arms threatening to grow dead as her weight presses down against it.

Why then does he enjoy it so much?

Is it the warmth? The proximity? The closeness? He could stay like this for hours, arm and chest be damned. In fact, he might just join her in sleeping, his own morning not exactly peaceful.

That is, if her scream for help doesn’t haunt his dreams.

Are things like this all she has to look forward to when she leaves this place? All these horrible people trying to hurt her time and again just for existing? For trying to survive? Maybe he should have convinced her to dress like a man…

It makes him sick. Why should she have to hide who she is for the likes of them? Them not having the decency to treat her as a person and not an object should be their problem, not hers. She shouldn’t have to hide her radiance, her beauty, out of fear. She should be allowed to thrive, to enjoy life, not to constantly live in fear. Sure, that particular group of men will never bother her again, but…

Damn it. He’s crying again. Since when did he forget that he wasn’t supposed to get this involved? Yet with every passing day, he seems to be drawn in, wanting nothing more than to be with her, to have her as a constant companion. Why does he want her to leave again? Oh, that’s right, Taka and Sumi. He’s scared she’ll be like them, even though he knows full well that she is not.

If she was, she would not trust him, and she clearly does; she would not have called out to him if she didn’t think he’d come running.

He needs time to think about this. To think about her. As much as he might want her to stay, if she wants to leave, he can do nothing to stop her. That would be too cruel. She deserves to live a full and happy life, and if she can’t get that living here…

Alucard sighs, closing his eyes. It’s been a while since he took a nap in the daytime like this. He’d not like to make a habit of it, but if she ever has want of a warm pillow, he might just allow it.

After all, it is rather nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that really is gonna be it for the angst now. From now on, this fic is gonna be mostly fluff, sexual tension, and two people desperately pining. But for how long? At least a chapter!
> 
> Also, we've had a few questions along the lines of 'Do you have an image in mind where you think of RC?', and here is the answer; kinda. If anyone is curious as to what that image is, friend of the fic Walcraft has allowed Zalkyria to post a drawing that they did of RC onto twitter. The link is as follows: https://twitter.com/zalkyria/status/1252350520427081728?s=20
> 
> With that, we thank you all again for reading, and we'll be back soon with a lot of fluff (and potentially something quite naughty in chapter 15) ^.^


	14. A Gift Of Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; fluff :3 That is all. 
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

As you slowly open your eyes, memories of what happened just before you fell asleep come trickling back into your mind. There was fear, you remember that much clearly. You ran, as hard as you could, managing to injure yourself in the process. There were tears, and then...

Alucard. Alucard saved you from those men. He took you home, and...

Your head shifts up and down slightly without you moving it, reminding you that you’re not resting on your usual pillow. You’re instead resting quite nicely atop Alucard’s muscular chest, his warmth and the gentle beating of his heart a welcome thing to wake up to. He stayed… you asked him to stay with you, and he did. He actually stayed with you, and held you, and let you sleep on his chest even as your tears dampened his shirt. Your friend. Your first real friend.

Tilting your head up to look at him, you notice that he too has fallen asleep, his arms caging your body and keeping you close to him. He looks so peaceful in his sleep, his usual frown and furrowed brow gone. You’re glad of that. He deserves to have his sleep unplagued by life’s many troubles. You wonder if he ever dreams… Does he ever dream of you? Of his other friends? Of happy times, before his trust was broken?

It would be a shame to wake him now, but you can’t just watch him sleep. As tempting as it might be to just lay here and admire the exquisite lines of his face, if he woke up to you staring at him like a creep, those furrows and frowns would come back in full force. What should you do, then? Stare off at nothing until he rouses?

You’re about to do just that, when his torso shifts under you, his back arching up as he stretches. So much for his moments of peace, then.

With Alucard now awake, you smile up at him, watching as his eyes try to adjust to the light. ‘You fell asleep too, huh?’ Stupid thing to say. Obviously he did. Why did you have to say that?

Alucard smiles right back at you, one of his hands moving to stroke your arm. ‘I did indeed. How are you feeling after a little rest?’ It’s hard to answer that properly when you’re currently so comfortable. Right now, a lot of the emotional pain you’d felt before sleeping seems to have eased, soothed by Alucard’s mere presence.

However, a quick twist of your ankle proves that not all of you is quite as painless.

Hissing, your smile turns into a grimace. ‘I think my ankle is a bit of a lost cause at this point. Maybe you should just start carrying me everywhere from now on? I’m not sure I can be trusted not to keep breaking it.’

Alucard frowns at that, moving so you’re both sat up more. ‘Don’t say that. It will heal, in time. You’ll just have to be careful with it. How are you doing mentally? Do you feel any calmer now?’ Only because he’s here…

Tentatively, you nod. ‘I feel calmer for having you with me. Thank you for staying. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you, having to comfort me when I was in such a state. Sorry if I’ve ruined your day.’ He must have had something he planned to do upon your return here, and now thanks to you, most of the day is gone.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘No apology necessary. I rather enjoyed my nap, far more than I would have enjoyed trying to clean the mess in the library. As long as you’re feeling better, then I’m not the slightest bit put out. However, if it’s all the same to you, I think the next time you choose to visit the town, I should accompany you the whole way. No herbs are worth putting you at risk like that again.’ On that much, you’re more than willing to agree, even if the next time you go into town will probably be once you’ve left the safety of Alucard’s care.

Oh, but speaking of the town has reminded you of something!

Moving out of his arms to sit up properly, you dig around in your dress, fishing out his pouch of coins before handing it to him. ‘Here. I never got the chance to give this back to you.’ You’re surprised it didn’t fall out as you were running to be honest. If you lost all this money, you’d feel guilty for the rest of your life.

Accepting the pouch, Alucard allows the weight of it to settle on his palm, his frown deepening. ‘You barely spent a thing. Did nothing catch your eye?’ He honestly thought you’d get yourself something? You, who won’t even accept the secondhand clothes he presents you with without an argument? Although technically, you did get yourself something; the fabric that looks so much like his hair.

Smiling, you nod. ‘Oh, but it did! You should see how many colours you can get fabric in these days! They had such a wonderful array, I fear I may have purchased a little too much. Sorry if that makes you sad.’ What if he thinks it frivolous, choosing to buy a lot of fabric just because of the different colours? Even if it will end up bringing more joy than any trinket could.

Tossing the pouch onto the nearby table, Alucard’s smile finally returns. ‘Why would it make me sad? I’m glad that they had all that you wanted. What do you intend to make with it all?’ Oh, but you can’t possibly tell him that; why spoil his surprise?

Playing with your hair, you think of an excuse. ‘I haven’t quite decided yet. A dress maybe, or a blanket. I’ll see where the mood takes me when I get to it.’ Which will probably be pretty soon, especially now that your ankle is busted again…

If Alucard is aware of the lie, he’s at least kind enough to go along with your excuse. ‘Ah, so it’s a mystery pile of fabrics? I look forward to seeing what you transform them into.’ Oh, but he’s going to be so happy when he sees the final result; his gift!

Gift! The honey! Oh no, you’d forgotten all about that!

Trying not to look panicked, your eyes scan the room, searching for the fabrics. ‘Alucard, what did you do with the basket? I want to make sure everything is still there.’ More specifically, you want to make sure the long journey here and the fight haven’t managed to smash the jar to pieces!

With all his usual grace, Alucard stands, producing the basket from just in front of the foot of the bed before placing it on your lap. ‘If anything is missing, tell me. I can always go into town myself and replace it.’ Not this he couldn’t; it won’t be the same if you don’t get to give it to him! It’ll just be him buying a jar of honey, the same thing he does all the time anyway.

Searching frantically, you find the honey nestled amongst the fabrics, the glass jar mercifully unbroken. That’s such a relief. Not only would Alucard’s gift be ruined, but the honey would have ruined all the fabric too, essentially spoiling both of his presents.

After moving your hands around the glass in one final search for cracks, you extend your arm out towards Alucard, clenching the gift firmly. ‘This is for you. A little thank you for everything you’ve done for me.’ You grin as wide as you can, a look that almost falters when you notice just how deep Alucard is frowning. He looks like you’ve just upset him greatly.

Oh dear. Was the honey a bad idea? Is it a terrible gift? It’s not his main one, just a little something you’d pick up on a whim. Should you explain that to him?

Still wearing that same expression, Alucard takes the honey, staring down at it as if he can’t believe it’s there. ‘You… got me a gift. Why? I’ve told you time and again that I don’t expect you to repay me.’ He’s looking at you now, that familiar sadness in his eyes. Why is he so surprised? After all that he’s done for you, why is this one small token something that seems to have upset him? It’s not as if you’re offering him some substantial reward, as much as you might like to; there is nothing you could ever give that would fully amount to all that he has done for you.

Playing nervously with your skirt, you try to explain your thought process. ‘You’re like honey, remember? All sweet and golden. I saw all these jars while I was shopping, and I couldn’t resist. I know it’s only small, but I wanted you to have something nice. Is it stupid? Should I have picked out something different?’ Now that you think of it, you really should have done just that. After all, you probably eat more honey than Alucard. What if he ends up wasting his gift on you? It’s the kind of thing he’d do, always so willing to extend his generosity to you.

Finally, his frown fades, replaced by a small smile. ‘If I am sweet, then you are sweeter still. I’m touched that you would get me a gift like this. While it may be an unorthodox thing to give, the sentiment behind it is truly appreciated. Thank you.’ When he looks up at you again, the gloom has faded, a gentle warmth now in his eyes. It makes you want to cry, but not from sadness for once. This time, you want to weep with joy, finally doing something to make Alucard happy, if only for a moment.

You swear your cheeks heat up as you respond. ‘If I knew you would like it so much, I would have given you all the honey the merchant had.’ Then again, isn’t he always telling you the dangers of having too much?

Alucard chuckles at your suggestion. ‘I’m not sure what I would do with that much honey. Bathe in it, perhaps? Then again, it’s so terribly sticky, it might just ruin my hair. Not to mention the dreadful state it would leave the bath in.’ You’d normally laugh at that, and you would have laughed now, had the image of a naked, honey-coated Alucard not just come into your mind. How would it feel to lick honey from between the perfectly sculpted chest muscles his current shirt is giving you a perfect view of? Better still, how would it feel to have him licking honey from your chest, praising you for how sweet you taste?

These thoughts are going to end nowhere good. You have to think of something.

Casting your mind back, you try to remember something about honey you’d read in one of his books a few days ago. ‘Did you know that some people used to bury their dead in honey sometimes?’ There! The thought of a honeyed corpse ought to take your mind off of Alucard’s marvellous physique!

Alucard’s eyes grow wide with recognition. ‘Ah yes, the Mellified Man. Did you know that some people still practice such a thing? They think that after a hundred years of waiting, the substance left behind has sacred healing properties? It sells for obscene amounts because people claim it can cure broken bones. Well, that and the length of time it takes to create such a substance.’ Broken bones, he says?

You gesture down at your ankle, frowning. ‘I don’t suppose you have any of that ancient corpse honey in your pantry, do you? I’m willing to try anything at this stage.’ Not that Alucard’s treatment of you has been insufficient, of course…

Shaking his head, Alucard chuckles fondly. ‘Just regular honey, I’m afraid. Speaking of my pantry however has reminded me that we should probably eat something. I fear that we may have slept through lunch, but how does an early dinner sound? I don’t know about you, but I’m rather ravenous right now.’ Your stomach rumbles in agreement, and his smile grows wider. ‘Dinner for the lady it is then. Would you like me to carry you to the table, or would you rather eat in here?’ You’d actually like to be able to walk with him to the table, but as it is, you definitely couldn’t manage that.

You sigh. ‘I think I’ll be more comfortable in here tonight, if that’s not a bother?’

Moving away from the bed, Alucard fetches you your nightgown, draping it across the foot of the bed. ‘It’s not bothersome in the slightest. I’ll return when dinner is ready. Feel free to get changed into your nightdress, if you feel it’s more comfortable. I think we can be lax on manners tonight, after the day we’ve just had.’ As much as you dislike Alucard seeing you in your nightwear, you can’t deny how nice it’ll feel to get out of the dress, and snuggle up comfortably with a book as you await your dinner.

As Alucard makes to leave, you grab the nightgown, toying with it for a few moments before calling out to him. ‘Alucard?’

He’s quick to stop, turning his head to face you. ‘Yes?’

You smile widely at him, despite the nervous bubbling away inside you. ‘Thank you for being my friend.’ If of course he still considers you as such. He could have just said that to soothe you.

Alucard is quick to offer a smile in return, one that makes you melt. ‘Your reciprocation is all the thanks I need.’ He leaves then, and you have to take a few moments to try and calm the beating of your heart.

That explains all the feelings you’ve been having then. All the nervousness, all the joy, wanting to see him happy. Calling out to him for safety, letting him comfort you, trusting him… this is what it means to have a true friend, and to care about them just as much as they care for you.

Only, it isn’t. There’s something else there, and you’re certain of it. Friends don’t fantasise about licking honey off of each other, at least to your knowledge. Could this be what the first tender shoots of love feel like? Or is it just curiosity? You’ve never seen a man naked before, and you’ve never known a man more attractive than Alucard. It’s easy to see how your fantasies could have bloomed so easily out of curiosity alone.

You need time. Time to figure out this jumbled mess of feelings. It would be nice to talk to someone about them, but the only person around is the one person making you so confused. You don’t know how he’d react to his newly-declared friend telling him that she might have feelings that run deeper. It might only serve to push him further away, and it would be a tragedy to lose all the progress you’ve made in terms of getting closer to the man.

Sighing, you allow your gaze to fall upon the basket, the bright yellow fabric catching your eye. If you can’t have the real Alucard to talk to, maybe you could talk things out with the fake one you’re planning to make? He won’t be able to answer back, but speaking aloud might help you make sense of your feelings.

Not that they really matter; you’ll probably be gone long before any of them start to make sense.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Walking to his room, Alucard can’t stop staring at the jar in his hands. A gift. From her. From his friend, the beautiful woman in the field of flowers…

He can’t bring himself to eat this. Not now, not ever. He’ll keep it just like it is, to remind himself of her. As if he’d forget. He’s not sure he could forget her even if he tried. That’s what friendship does to people. Makes them remember. Makes them cling on to even the most insignificant of things. This little glass jar means more to him than the coin it cost her to purchase it. Moreso even than the coins he’d left on her bedside table, so eager to put his new treasure somewhere safe. The sweetest possible reminder of what it is to have a friend, save for the feeling of embracing her.

Surely this is why friendship is often referred to as the greatest gift of all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An advanced warning for the next chapter; things are about to get real spicy ;3
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and hope to see you all again next time ^.^


	15. A Taste Of Sin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> If you read the previous ending a/n, you know what's coming. If not, just remember; this fic is rated E for a reason ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoy ;3

A few days after your disastrous trip into town, things seem to have largely returned to normal. You’re still getting reading and writing lessons, still doing some sewing in your free time (although this time, it’s not Alucard’s clothes you’re jabbing your needle into), and you’re still eating dinner with Alucard in the evenings. The only difference now is that Alucard has to carry you to and from the dining room, your busted ankle meaning that it’s now your only option.

Well, there was one more option. Alucard was more than willing to eat dinner in your room for the foreseeable future, but you refused that. Now that you’re used to leaving bed every day, the thought of weeks being stuck in your room doesn’t appeal to you in the slightest. It’s much easier sitting up and eating anyhow, so long as you make sure not to knock your ankle against the table.

The dinner you’re currently eating is far more involved than the stew and soup you’d been fed once upon a time. Tonight, you dine on a beautifully cooked fish, with a selection of choice vegetables. It feels like the fanciest meal you’ve ever eaten, Alucard’s culinary skill shining through once again. If the lessons he’s been giving you eventually allow you to cook like this, then it’ll probably be the knowledge you appreciate the most. If you ever get the chance to put it to good use, that is…

For now, you’re just going to keep on enjoying it, making sure to remind your friend just how much you appreciate it. ‘You’re such a wonderful cook, Alucard. I think the only reason I’ve recovered as well as I have done is thanks to you and your culinary prowess.’ One day, before you leave, you’ll have to make him a meal for a change, one more small way you can thank him for being so wonderful.

Alucard waves his hand dismissively. ‘You give yourself too little credit. Had you not been such an agreeable patient and actually listens to my advice, no amount of my cooking would have helped you. Your ongoing recovery is as much to your credit as it is mine.’ He’s being so modest, it almost doesn’t suit him. He must know as well as you do that you’d have died if not for his intervention.

Still, it feels nice, hearing such praise from Alucard. It always makes your cheeks warm and stomach jitter. It goes a long way, his verbal kindness. He used to be so short with you before, so unwilling to speak at all without a sharp quip at the ready. While he still has his moments, he seems… softer now. Infinitely more patient than he once was, especially with your questions. You barely recognise him as the man who had once threatened to kill you for wandering too close to his home. 

However, he is not the only one that has changed. While the bruises have now completely faded into nothingness, your body is not the same as it was. For the most part, it’s a positive thing. You’re plumper now, your weight far closer to what it should be for a woman of your height and build. Your figure now seems to have a few curves in places you could have sworn no curve existed before. If you were being terribly immodest, you could almost call yourself… slightly appealing.

Perhaps that is too generous though, given the scars that have forever marred your body.

You hate them. Every time you look at them, so many terrible reminders come into your mind. The unforgiving coolness of the stream, the sting of the cuts on your body, the agony that accompanied every breath… just looking at them reminds you of them, but worse still, they remind you of what Alucard said. No appeal. Your body holds no appeal. You’re so broken and scarred that he wouldn’t have wanted to take advantage even if he was the kind of person who would normally abuse a woman in such a way. 

Being so hideous in Alucard’s eyes shouldn’t upset you like it does. He’s still your friend at the end of the day, despite your flaws. You only wish he could see beauty in you. Of course, you’d never be able to hold a candle to him even if all of your scars faded away, but still, you think you might once have been able to pass for cute, or even pretty.

The scar that upsets you the most is the one on your palm. At least your others are easy to hide. They’re not always in plain sight, constantly catching your eyes, an ever-present reminder of how horrible your body is. Your fall a few months ago has only made it worse. It’s never going to fade away, in the same way you’ll never…

Subconsciously, you pull your sleeve down over your hand, obscuring your scar from view. Alucard shouldn’t have to stare at it like this. His scrutiny would only make it seem even worse. It only serves to remind you that even if he shared in the lustful fantasies you’ve had of him of late, he would never wish to act on them with someone like you.

Noticing your movement, Alucard furrows his brow. ‘Is it too cold in here for you? Shall I fetch you a cloak or a blanket?’ Always so kind, even if you’re not sure you deserve it.

You shake your head. ‘I’m fine, thank you.’ You’d tell him the real reason you’re hiding your palm, but you’d rather not draw attention to it. Worse still, he might even pity you because of it.

Your response only causes Alucard’s mouth to fall. ‘It is no bother, if you’re concerned about putting me out. I would much rather you dined in comfort with me. It is important to me.’ Maybe you should just let him do it, if he’s that concerned about you? At least this way, he might drop the subject before reaching the truth.

Still, you don’t want to inconvenience him unnecessarily. ‘I’m honestly fine, Alucard. We should just keep eating.’ Allowing food this good to grow cold over your own self-consciousness would practically be criminal. You’re just hoping Alucard feels the same way. Surely he’d rather eat than argue this with you.

For a while, it seems that you are right. The meal continues in silence, as strained as it might be. Has your refusal upset him? Maybe you should come clean, if only to remove the tension.

You consider doing just that, before Alucard speaks. ‘You don’t have to hide it from me, if that’s what this is.’ How did… Can he truly read minds? That can’t be just a guess.

His observation only causes you to yank your sleeve down further. ‘I do, but I don’t want to talk about it.’ After all the times Alucard has insisted upon a change of topic, surely he’ll grant your request for one?

Dropping his fork, Alucard stretches his hand towards you. ‘Give me your hand, please.’ So he’s not going to let this slide, then? He’s really going to torment you over this?

Never one to deny him anything, you drop your own fork, and present your hand to him, your scar in plain view. Alucard takes it in his own, and begins to examine it, shifting your hand occasionally to get a full view. All the while, you have to fight the urge to cry from embarrassment, fearing his inevitable conclusion; it’s hideous, and he hates it.

After several moments of deafening silence, Alucard finally speaks. ‘You shouldn’t have to shy away from me because of things like this. Both of us have scars. I find yours no more offensive to look at than you find mine. Would you like me to start hiding mine from view at all times?’ What? Why would you want him to hide himself away like that? He should never have to feel so self-conscious around y-

Oh. 

Fighting the urge to yank your hand away, a stray tear falls from your eyes. ‘It isn’t the same, Alucard. Not really. Women are supposed to be pretty and flawless, not broken and scarred. I never had the chance to be beautiful when I was living on the streets, and now I never will. I’ll always be the little beggar that got lucky. If you can even call it luck…’ A few months from now, you’ll be back to square one, stealing just to survive. In some ways, Alucard’s kindness is going to blow up in your face. Saved from death by bleeding and beating, only to die slowly of starvation or the like…

Alucard shakes his head. ‘You were never that. Even when you were disguised as a man, there was a finer, more feminine quality about you. You’ve always been a lovely young woman, waiting for the proper chance to shine. A few scars change nothing. If anything, they are a testament to how far you have come, and a reminder that here is always hope for the future.’ With that, Alucard does something you never would have expected; he leans his head down, and places a soft yet brief kiss on your palm.

Seeming to realise exactly what he just did, Alucard releases your hand immediately, clearing his throat before picking up his fork and continuing his meal. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him with so much colour in his cheeks, and you can’t help but wonder if you look the same. He kissed you. On the palm, sure, but it was still a kiss. No one has ever kissed you anywhere before. Not under any circumstances. You can still feel their softness against your sensitive skin, as if he never took them away.

Following Alucard’s lead, you return to your meal, this time without yanking your sleeve down over your palm. 

The meal carries on in silence, until it’s finally time for Alucard to carry you up to bed for the night.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Sleep tonight is proving to be a most elusive thing. You’ve lost count of how long you’ve just been laying here now, waiting for sleep to take you. There was a moment a little while ago where you’d felt certain sleep was imminent, but alas, you were wrong.

How are you supposed to sleep when your heart won’t stop racing?

You can’t stop thinking about that kiss. It’s almost tormenting you. The sensation of Alucard’s lips on your body has ignited a fire in your heart, and it refuses to extinguish itself. Instead, it feels like it’s about to consume you. 

Maybe you should call Alucard in here and talk to him about this? Demand to know the meaning behind it. Was it a friendly gesture? An attempt to comfort you? Or was it something more? Is he having his own internal conflict over his feelings for you? 

No, he can’t be. Why would he want you when he could have his pick of beautiful women? He could even have his pick of beautiful men, probably. Why have feelings for you when he could have anyone else he wanted?

Your thoughts are interrupted by a voice. ‘Can’t sleep?’ When did Alucard get in here? 

Looking over at your door, you find him loitering at the threshold, as if he’s debating coming in. ‘Alucard? What is it? Did you need something?’

Taking your words as some kind of encouragement, Alucard enters, walking straight over to stand by your bed. ‘Yes. Yes, I do. There is something I’ve needed for quite some time, in fact.’ Oh dear, is it serious? What could he possibly need that he doesn’t already have.

Careful not to move your ankle, you sit up in bed, body feeling heavy from the sleep it’s been denied. ‘What is it? Is there anything I can do to help you?’ If he’s here because he needs you to help him with something, you will, sleep be damned. He’s more important to you, anyway.

Alucard stares at you, a pained expression on his face. ‘There is. You’re the only one who can help me with this, but I am afraid to ask. I know that you feel as if you owe me for all I have done, and I don’t want to abuse that. And yet, if I don’t tell you what I have to say, I fear I’ll go mad.’ It must be serious then, if it is this important to him!

Staring up in concern, you bite your bottom lip, steeling your nerves. ‘I’d do anything for you. You can tell me anything, request anything, and I’ll never refuse you. I… I think I love you, Alucard.’ The words are out of your mouth before you can even think to stop them. What will he do with such an admission? Is it too much? Will he leave because of it?

Smiling down at you, Alucard grabs your sheet, pulling it from your body even as his eyes pierce into yours. ‘An admission of love from a beautiful woman is better than I’d hoped to find tonight. Far better than I deserve to find, given what I am about to ask for.’ Sheet gone, Alucard moves onto the bed, kneeling so that your hips are caged between his strong and slender legs.

Looking at him now, his pupils wide and teeth glistening in the dim moonlight, you think you finally understand what he wants. ‘You want my blood, don’t you?’ You tilt your head to one side, moving your hair out of the way so that your neck is bare to him. ‘Take it. All that you want’ You trust him not to take it all, so there is no reason to deny him. If he wants your blood, he is welcome to it.

Alucard chuckles deep and low, moving his mouth down to your neck before placing a gentle kiss there. ‘I don’t want to taste your blood,’ he says, voice barely above a whisper. ‘I wish to sample the sweet nectar that flows from between your thighs. Would you let me do that? Can I taste you here?’ He rubs his hand over your crotch through your nightgown, the fabric growing slightly damp. He wants… he’s going to lick… there?

You’re almost breathless when you answer, already going half mad with want. ‘Yes! Anything you want!’ If it eases the ache slowly growing between your legs, he can do anything he wishes!

Slowly, Alucard shuffles backwards, careful to keep his weight off on you. When he reaches your feet, he slides his hands underneath your nightgown, the fabric trailing up as his slender hands caress your legs. You find yourself stretching your legs apart, allowing Alucard’s body to settle comfortably between them.

Finally, after an agonising wait, Alucard bunches the fabric around your waist, revealing you to him entirely. ‘You’ve prepared me quite a feast down here. May I have a taste now?’ Unable to answer him, you nod, hands digging into your pillows as you wait for him to move. ‘Thank you.’ With that, he flicks his tongue against you, lapping up some of your arousal as you let out an ungodly moan.

After only a few seconds, Alucard stops, a small moan of his own escaping his lips. ‘Sweeter than the finest honey. Forgive me for this, but a single taste isn’t enough. I am far too greedy to leave this meal unfinished.’ You’re about to tell him that you want him to keep going, but you’re cut off when you feel his tongue slowly riggle inside of you, effectively silencing your thoughts. 

The only thing that matters now is Alucard, and the sinful things he’s doing between your legs.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard is woken from sleep by a series of strange noises, coming from his friend’s room. They sound like… groans.

Slipping out of his bed, Alucard sets off towards her room, panic in his mind. She must be having a nightmare of sorts, and it’s entirely his fault. 

He should have realised sooner that drawing attention to her scar would have consequences like this. He had only meant to soothe her, to reassure her that her scars do nothing to change who she is or how beautiful she is. Instead, all he’s done is drag up memories best left forgotten, or at the very least put to rest.

Perhaps it was the kiss that triggered this specifically. Physical contact against her wound may have reminded her of the feelings involved in that scar’s creation. He hadn’t even intended to kiss it. His body acted without his permission. He just wanted to comfort her. Maybe apologising for touching her like that without consent may soothe any future nightmares.

Knowing her to be in the throes of a nightmare, Alucard doesn’t bother knocking on her door, instead walking straight into her room and straight to her bed. He’s heard that people who are woken from nightmares can sometimes be violent, but that doesn’t concern him much. The only thing he has to worry about in that respect is her causing damage to herself somehow.

Placing his hands firmly on her shoulders, he shakes her gently, hoping to rouse her slowly. With luck, that way she’ll realise that she is now in a place of safety, and any lashing out will be kept to a minimum.

As her eyes open slightly, she looks at Alucard, and he nearly faints; even in the dim light, he can make her face out clearly. Cheeks flushed, eyes barely awake, a faint sheen of sweat on her body. She doesn’t look scared, she looks… aroused. She looks as if she’s in the midst of passion, and Alucard can feel himself growing hard at the sight. 

Just how disgusting is he? His friend must be having a vicious dream if it’s making her sweat so much, and he’s stood here leering at her like some kind of animal!

Her voice little more than a whisper, she writhes in bed, clearly slightly frustrated. ‘Alucard… more…’ Why is she calling his name? What does she want more of? Does she need his help?

He’s about to ask her that, when her body starts to rise up, her lips seeking out his own in the darkness.

Panicking slightly, Alucard pushes her firmly back against the bed, finally speaking. ‘You’re having a nightmare. Wake up.’ Her eyes grow wide at that, an indication that she’s finally more lucid.

Taking in the sight of both him and her surroundings, the young woman’s eyes grow wide in horror. ‘Alucard?! What are you… What happened?! Why are you here?!’ Her face has grown redder still now, probably due to embarrassment.

Satisfied that she won’t hurt herself, Alucard lets go, standing back a bit. ‘I could hear you making noises in your sleep. Assuming it to be a nightmare, I decided to wake you up. I apologise for the intrusion.’ Even if he’s not that sorry. She’s his friend after all, and she was clearly suffering. He was just trying to help her.

Her face falls. ‘Oh… yes, a nightmare. That was it. That was… Thank you for being so considerate, Alucard.’ Is it just him, or does she almost look disappointed?

With a small nod, Alucard decides to check something. ‘Do you need me to stay with you, or will you be okay?’ If she does need him to stay, he might have to excuse himself away, thanks to the storm currently raging inside his own nightgown.

She shakes her head again. ‘I’m fine, honestly. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll see you in the morning, yeah?’ Obviously she will. He comes to her every morning, especially now that she needs his help getting around. 

Alucard nods. ‘Very well. Goodnight.’ With that, he leaves, his mind now racing.

As he walks back to his room, Alucard can’t stop thinking about what just transpired. Was it truly a nightmare she just had? If it was, why did she not cry, or seek comfort from him when she woke? In all the time he has known her, she has never made any effort to bottle up her feelings, to his knowledge. Did she not think that he would? When has he ever denie… Well, he may have denied her at first, but they are friends now. She had no issue taking comfort in his completely platonic embrace when she was attacked. Why refuse him now?

Unless it wasn’t a nightmare.

As Alucard climbs back into his bed, he considers an alternative. After all, her assertion that it was in fact a nightmare wasn’t overly convincing. Add to that the fact that she seemed to be trying to kiss him at one point, and that look on her face, and he’s wondering if that dream was of a… carnal nature, instead of a nightmarish one.

Such a thought only causes his erection to become painfully hard. Was she having such a dream about him? It was his name that she called, after all. She had even asked for more! More what, though? That is something he would very much like to…

No. He can’t go there. Not with her. He won’t lose his friend to his own base instincts. If she was having such a dream about him, it wasn’t intentional. She is a woman in her prime, and he is the only man she’s been in regular contact with for quite some time. She clearly has desires, and he just happened to be the form that they took. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she finds him attractive. 

However, if he were to allow himself to think of her as he gave himself relief…

He can’t. He’s not doing it. He just has to take a few deep breaths and wait for it to go away. He’s not a teenage boy with no control. He is a man, a grown man, a vampire, and he has full control over all of his actions! Besides, how would he be able to look her in the eyes ever again, knowing that he’d dirtied his sheets thinking of her? If she ever found out, she’d leave him then and there, and there would be no way to stop her.

The thought of her leaving is enough to finally kill Alucard’s erection. He’s not doing this. Not to her. She deserves better than to be fodder for his fantasies.

Closing his eyes, Alucard falls into an uneasy sleep, desperately trying to get her face out of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... If you think we're monsters for this, just wait until it's Alucard's turn :O
> 
> Thank you all again for your support and continued reading, and we hope to see you again next chapter ^.^


	16. Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; we'll be getting back to the actual plot next chapter, we promise. This is just a little companion chapter for the last one ;) 
> 
> Enjoy :3

At this point, you’re getting rather used to the feeling of being carried around by Alucard.

Two weeks after the trip into town, your ankle still hasn’t recovered enough for you to walk on it again. While the extra bedrest has been great in terms of your special side project (the practice doll of Alucard is almost complete, and looking really rather good), you do feel bad for Alucard. As much as he says that carrying you around isn’t a bother, it must be dreadfully tiring. After all, you now weigh a lot more than you did when you first arrived. Possibly even twice as much. It’s amazing that he still finds this so easy.

One thing that isn’t so easy is shaking the memory of that dream.

Waking up to find out it was nothing more than a sordid fantasy is one thing, but failing to realise the difference between the waking world and the dream world to a degree that you’d tried to kiss the real Alucard… It’s humiliating. You’re just glad that Alucard hasn’t mentioned it himself, because that’s not a conversation you want to have. The poor man was so concerned that you were having a horrible nightmare that he came to comfort you, a true friend indeed. To have to turn around and say that you weren’t having a nightmare, but were actually fantasising about him sticking his head between your legs…

You just hate having to lie to him like this. Even after all this time, he seems to be treating you differently. More cautiously, in some ways. You swear he’s been staring at you lately, before averting his eyes the moment you look at him. He must be so worried about you, concerned about your nightmare. You wish you could just tell him the truth, or a version of it that doesn’t include him. If you only hadn’t called out his name, you could have easily replaced him with any other man.

Speaking of replacements, there is one thing the dream has led you to that you weren’t expecting; against your better judgement, you’ve decided to read ‘Will Thou Keep My Secret?’. It’s dreadful, and it’s lewd, and you can’t stop reading it. That one small dream of Alucard has left you wanting more. That’s why you’ve been deliberately doing the one thing that was a total accident before; you’ve been replacing the tutor with Alucard, and the protagonist with yourself.

It feels like a most wonderful torture. Each chapter leaves you with the sweetest of aches between your legs, and a growing frustration. What are you supposed to do with that feeling? The book mentions ways to… pleasure yourself, but you can’t. With his heightened senses, Alucard might be able to smell your arousal, and then what? If coming clean about a dream that was completely out of your control is too much, you might actually die if you tell him you’d deliberately pleasured yourself to thoughts of him!

Thinking about it now is a mistake, considering Alucard is carrying you right now. What if he thinks that him carrying you is the thing that’s getting you worked up? He’d never carry you again, disgusted by you and your thoughts. Why does it have to be like this? Why do you have to ache for him so much? Of all the men in the world to start falling for, why does it have to be the one man that’ll never see you in the same way?

You sigh, and Alucard frowns. ‘Are you alright? You’ve been awfully quiet this evening. Is your ankle troubling you?’ Not nearly as much as his mere presence seems to be…

Shaking your head, you smile softly. ‘I’m fine. I’m just tired I think, even if I don’t have any right to be.’ If anything, you’re more tired now with all this resting than you were back when you were walking everywhere.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘You know that’s not how feelings work, as you’re often keen to remind me. Healing takes a lot of energy. That’s why the food is so important. If you’re tired, you should sleep.’ He’s always so understanding and patient. You can’t help but wonder who taught him to have such an impeccable bedside manner, considering he doesn’t have regular contact with many people.

You’re about to answer him, when you’re distracted by him switching from the regular flat ground to the stairs. Being carried up the stairs tends to distract you these days. Now that there’s more to you, you can feel your breasts jiggling about in your dress, the tops of them threatening to spill out over. You’re going to miss having your breasts so free when you have to go back to covering them up…

As you reach the top of the stairs, Alucard grunts, before you find yourself hurling towards the ground. Closing your eyes, you barely have time to figure out what’s happening before you’re on the floor, which feels oddly familiar somehow. Far softer than it should be.

Daring to open your eyes, you realised that you’re not on the floor. Instead, you’re on Alucard, who seems to have used himself to cushion your fall, his arms wrapped around you firmly in his attempt to shield you from harm.

Panicked for him, you worm out of his arms so you can straddle his lap, your face falling with concern. ‘Alucard? What happened? Are you alright? Is something wrong?’ What could have caused the normally flawlessly graceful man to fall like this? Has he managed to injure himself.

Alucard’s face turns bright red, likely embarrassed by his mishap. ‘I tripped, that’s all. I forgot about that final step. Forgive me.’ He forgot about a step? But he must have traversed these steps a thousand times! What could have caused him to become so utterly distracted?

You try to reassure him. ‘It’s fine, Alucard. Accidents happen. As long as you’re okay. Having us both unable to leave bed would be a disaster.’

Alucard’s face only seems to grow redder despite your efforts to soothe him, and before you know it, he’s standing again, cradling you against his chest as he always does. ‘I’m fine. I am far more durable than I seem. I just hope that you are unharmed by my mishap. I’ll try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.’ You’d honestly be surprised if it did. Alucard isn’t a clumsy fool like you. He’d never re-break his ankle running away from harm…

Resting your head against his shoulder, you snuggle in a little closer. ‘I trust you, Alucard. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me, deliberate or otherwise. Thank you for breaking my fall like that.’ Any opportunity to rest your body against his is a welcome one. Maybe one day you’ll be able to control your hormones enough to be able to snuggle with him in bed again.

Alucard hums. ‘Of course. Besides, I think you’ve managed to injure yourself enough of late. I will sleep well tonight knowing that you are no worse than you were this morning.’ You’re not sure if you’re going to sleep well tonight, not with your mind racing. Once you get to your room, you’re going to finish that test doll, and then you’re going to read some more of that awful book, trying to make sense of all the feelings inside of you.

At least one thing is certain; you always feel so much better when Alucard is with you.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After dropping his friend off in her room and bidding her a hasty goodnight, Alucard hurries back to his bedroom, berating himself all the way. Stupid, stupid fool, tripping on the top step like that. Not once has he ever made that mistake in his life. Not. Once. But no, he just had to make it tonight, when carrying the most precious of cargo!

If he was being petty, he could accuse her of being at fault here. After all, she was the one that distracted him! Although given that it wasn’t an intentional distraction, Alucard knows full well that he is the one to blame entirely.

Try as he might, he can’t shake the image of her face that night. It plagues his dreams, often sneaking into the waking world. The more he thinks about it, the more certain he is that it wasn’t a nightmare. Had he only taken the opportunity to properly assess his surroundings that night, he’s sure he would have found more evidence to support that. If he had tapped into his supernatural hearing, he would have heard the blood in her body rushing through the most intimate parts of her. If he had focused his nose, he would have surely smelt her arousal. In many ways, he’s glad he was too worried and too tired to explore those things; he would most likely be in an even worse state than he is now, if such a thing is even possible.

Today, it was her breasts that caused his concentration to fail. The way they peak out from her dress so tantalisingly is like a special brand of torture. They always shift and jiggle so much when he's taking her up the stairs, and it kills him. As if having her body pressed into his wasn’t enough…

When he’d fallen, and she’d landed on him, the angle of her torso as she’d leant forwards to check on him had given him an eyeful. He’d had to pick her back up so hastily, hoping and praying that she didn’t get the chance to feel him growing hard underneath her.

What kind of man is he becoming? What kind of man acts like this? She is a vulnerable young woman that trusts him to keep her safe. Thinking about her like this is an abuse of everything he has tried to do. How can he expect her to feel safe with him when he’s just as likely to try something as those men had been. The only difference is he isn’t about to force the matter. If he tried anything, he’d make damn sure she reciprocated before doing anything more, and would also make sure she wasn’t doing it as a means of paying him back.

No. It’s not happening. She’s a friend. Friend. Why is he even being like this? Would he really sacrifice his friendship for sexual pleasure? Or is this desire to be close to her be born of something else? Is there some small part of him that’s hoping for something more than friendship with her?

Stupid. He’s just struggling with his hormones, that’s all. Being in close proximity with a beauty like her would drive most men to feel the same. It’s much the same way that she dreamt of him. It’s just lust, that’s all. Something that burns hot at first, but eventually cools.

Alucard has already been burnt enough by lust. The last thing he needs is to experience that same heat again.

The only things he needs right now is a cool bath, and some sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

How long has Alucard been in bed for now? Time seems to have gone by in a haze, with nothing to indicate the time save for the pale glow of moonlight. Why must he stay awake like this? His inevitable tiredness will not only be to his own detriment, but to the detriment of the young woman he now shares his home with.

Is she awake at this hour, too? He hopes not. He hopes she is resting well tonight, undisturbed by the memories of her past. At least she knows where he is if she decides to seek comfort. She needs only to call out to him, and he’ll come running.

The door to his bedroom creaks open, and there she is, the very woman he has been thinking about. Is she alright? Was it a nightmare? Has she hurt her hand again?

Sitting up in his bed, Alucard calls out to her. ‘Are you okay?’ He can’t see blood on her nightdress tonight, so that’s a good sign. Looking at her face, he can’t see tears either. She looks… serene. Like she is at peace with something.

Drawing closer, the young woman stands beside his bed, looking down at him. ‘I need to speak with you, Alucard. There is something I need to tell you.’ Does she plan to leave? He won’t let her. She’s still injured, after all. Then again, she did make it to his room unaided…

Curious, he reaches out to her, stroking her hair softly. ‘You can tell me anything. I’ll always listen to what you have to say.’ Even if it is something he doesn’t want to hear.

Taking a step back, the young woman allows her nightgown to fall to the floor, and Alucard swallows hard; his treatment of her has worked miracles. Her body is no longer that of a starving beggar, but that of a woman, shapely and firm in all the places a woman should be. His dick springs to life immediately, and he can’t help but lick his lips as he imagines how her body would feel underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist as he grips onto her perfect hips and pounds her into the mattress.

Alucard shakes his head, the memories of Taka and Sumi returning without consent. ‘You don’t have to do this. You owe me nothing. I did not take you in just so I could abuse your trust in me like this.’ As much as he wants to reach out and take her, he can’t. She is off-limits to him, especially like this.

The young woman chews on her bottom lip, and Alucard has to fight the urge to tug on that tender flesh with his own teeth. ‘Owe you? What makes you think that’s why I’m here? I’m here because… I love you, Alucard. I want to share my body with you, just as I want to share my heart. Do you want to share them with me?’ Sweet mother of mercy, how can he say no to that? The way she’s looking at him, like she wants nothing more than to love and be loved in return…

Alucard nods, because that’s about all he’s capable of right now.

Taking that as permission enough, the young woman climbs on his bed, and parts his legs so she can kneel between them. ‘I want to see you. I want to see that man I love. Take this off for me, please?’ She tugs on the bottom of his nightgown, and he’s powerless but to obey, practically ripping the fabric from himself before tossing it off somewhere completely unimportant.

With his chest now bare, the young woman- his lover- trails one of her hands across his broad torso. ‘So handsome. The most beautiful man I’ve ever seen…’ Her hand creeps lower, before it wraps around his straining erection. ‘... And the biggest. Not that I have much to compare it to. I’ve never touched a man like this before. You’re the first. The only man I’ve ever wanted. All I want is to please you, to make you love me in return.’ God, the way she’s looking at him. Alucard can barely breathe. It’s just like that face from the other night, except this time, she’s lucid, and knows exactly what she’s doing.

Alucard practically chokes on his words. ‘I do. I do love you. Please… I need…’ He doesn’t know. What does he need? More than this, but what?

The woman between his knees smiles, removing her hand before bringing her breasts forward and letting them smother his cock.

The noise Alucard lets out is halfway between a moan and a sigh. It feels good, so fucking good, that he can already feel his bones turn to jelly, and she’s barely touched him.

As her soft breasts continue to rub up and down his cock, Alucard wonders if this is what heaven feels like. Nothing in his life can compare to this, the act of having someone he truly cares for servicing him like this as she tells him that she cares for him just as much. She really could stake him through the heart now, and he would be too high on pure bliss to even stop her. If this is how he dies, he’ll at least die happy and fulfilled like never before.

The young woman stops after a while, staring up at him with a look of pure lust on her face. ‘Alucard, I need more. I need to feel you deep inside me. I want to be so full of you that I’m ruined for all other men. I feel so empty inside without you. Please, fill me with your special honey.’ He might have cringed at that, if he wasn’t so desperate. God, and he is desperate. He needs this. Needs to be inside her.

Grabbing onto her hips, Alucard pulls her onto his lap, and wastes no time at all siding up into her, the warm wetness of her body the only thing that matters as his hips gyrate and he bites his lip hard enough to draw blood.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

With a strangled moan of her name, Alucard sits up in bed, his mind numb with pleasure as his cock shoots load after load of cum into the bedsheets. All he can do is gasp and thrust as instinct takes over, everything else totally lost to his hormones.

When his cock finally stops throbbing, the pleasure fades away, and Alucard is left only with soiled sheets, and shame settling heavy on his chest.

Right now, he feels every bit the monster that his bloodline should make him. He really does have the same level of control as a teenage boy. Having a dream like that is one thing, but managing to reach climax without even touching himself… He’s disgusting. How could he have allowed this to happen? He should have shot her down, even in his dream. He should have realised it was a dream to begin with, her ankle’s sudden recovery a massive indicator. As if she would ever come to him with a declaration of love! How could anyone love a man like him? He doesn’t deserve it, especially after this. She trusts him. She’s his friend! Yet the moment he closes his eyes, he does this! He’s a fiend, an animal…

Oh fuck. He called her name. What if she heard that? What if she’s crawling to him right now, afraid that he needs her help?

Swallowing his shame, Alucard makes quick work of his nightgown, putting on a fresh one before stripping his bed. He has to wash these sheets. Get rid of the evidence. If she finds out what he’s done, she’ll hate him so much.

Stopping for a moment after the bed is stripped, Alucard realises there is no sound in the hallway. Maybe… did she somehow sleep through his cry of ecstasy?

Curious, Alucard makes his way to her bedroom, already thinking of excuses. He could always play it off as hearing a strange noise. He’s concerned about her ankle. He had a nightmare about her.

As he makes it to her slightly ajar bedroom door, Alucard breathes a sigh of relief when he hears her soft snores.

Peeking his head in just to be certain, he can’t help but smile as he sees her, curled up in bed, her eyes closed and her face relaxed. Such a wonderful young woman. Such a good friend. He doesn’t deserve to have her in his life, but he’s so glad he does. She tells him she’s been sewing a little of late. The way her eyes light up as she speaks excitedly about her little hobby never fails to make him feel warm inside. Maybe he’ll go into town soon, surprise her with more fabric. If he keeps her busy, then maybe he won’t have to ask her to stay? She’ll be so happy here that she won’t want to leave, and he can have his friend here with him where he knows she’ll be safe.

If only he thought she would stay.

Heaven knows he doesn’t want her to go. Even if it means hiding these growing feelings he has for her, knowing that she is safe from harm would be more than enough.

She is his friend. All he wants is her happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, we promise more plot soon; this is but a fun diversion to show that sometimes, great minds think alike ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading, and hope to see you next time ^.^


	17. The Art Of Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Just a silly little short chapter today, so no real warnings
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

The more time you spend in Alucard’s castle, the more you find yourself wishing you could live like this forever.

Even being restricted to bed is a far better life than the one you had this time last year, and that confinement is temporary. Already your leg is healing once again, and this time, you’re going to make sure it’s not re-injured. Alucard seems to share your determination, although that’s probably because he wants you gone. Then again, you’re his friend now. Maybe there’s a small chance that he doesn’t want his friend to go? You could always ask him. See if he might consider keeping you here as a companion. He must get so lonely…

That wasn’t the arrangement though. Friend or not, you gave him your word. You can’t break that word. Not after all he’s done.

You just need to accept that your days of luxury are almost over.

All the more reason to enjoy them really. That’s why today, you’ve respectfully requested a break from your daily lesson with Alucard so you can have a slightly more indulgent day today. You’ve already had a most luxurious bath today, so now you’re settling in to work on a few things. Now that the Alucard doll is complete (and currently prompt up next to you in bed as a little helper), you can start work on Alucard’s dolls. However, you think you’re going to do that a bit later, as you have something far more pressing on your mind today;

Poetry.

Truthfully, you feel foolish for this, but you’re not sure what else you can do. The feelings you have for Alucard can’t be settled, as hard as you’re trying, so the best thing to do might be to put them down into words. While you’re certain you could write page after page of prose about how Alucard is a beautiful angel that saved your life, rhyme is proving to be a lot more challenging, but you don’t mind; gaining a better understanding of how rhyming works would probably please Alucard. He’d know just how much you take his lessons to heart, and might even smile about it.

Not that you’re going to show him this particular poetry, of course; you can’t let him know about your private feelings for him.

Bringing the quill to the page, you jot down the first thing that comes into your head;

Hair like honey,  
Heart like gold,  
Smiles richer than money,  
Hands I want to hold.

Damn it. That’s dreadful. Maybe your second try will be better;

An angel inside,  
Yet always trying to hide,  
I wish I could see,  
How he feels about me.

Everything Alucard once said about you being a poet was clearly misguided. You’re just glad you’re not actually trying to win him over with this, or else you’d have no chance. Maybe a third attempt will finally bear fruit?;

A wonderful man,  
A fact not hard to miss,  
Wish I had a plan,  
To give him a kiss.

… Okay, so rhyming poetry is hard. You were very much expecting that. Maybe you could try a different kind of poetry? What’s that one with a certain number of sounds per line? You could always try that;

He is like honey,  
I find him so sweet and kind,  
Wish I could kiss him.

Is that right? You’re not. Sticking to poetry types you know is probably a sensible option. Oh, you could do that going down word one! That should be easy!;

Angel from the stream  
Loves to teach me things  
Under his care  
Can’t help the ways I feel  
Alone I am no more  
Racing heart when I see him  
Dream of being his

Fuck. You give up. You’ll come back to this another day. Maybe you just can’t put these feelings into words, after all? If you can’t make sense of them in your heart, there’s no way you can make sense of them in your head. It’s just something you’ll need to keep working on, even if there’s a part of you that already knows exactly why it is that Alucard makes your heart soar and ache at the same time…

Abandoning your writing equipment, you decide that you want to read instead. Just because you can’t get the words out, doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the words of another. A few more chapters with the heroine and Ser Michaelis might even inspire you, although that kind of lewd inspiration is probably the last thing you need.

Reaching over to your stack of books, your eyebrows shoot up when you notice a new book on the top of the pile. At least, the book is new to you. You’ve never seen it before. At the very least, it’s never been on the top of the pile like this. Did Alucard put it here when you were bathing earlier? Maybe he thought you’d like something new to read? If it comes at Alucard’s recommendation, then you should at least glance at it before you go back to reading your filth.

Picking it up, you glance up at the title; To Be Worthy Of You. An odd title, but you’re intrigued. Is there a description you can read? Or should you just dive in blind?

Blind is best. You don’t want to spoil the plot. It surely must be worth reading if Alucard left it in here. He’s not recommended you a bad book yet, after all.

Settling in comfortably, you open the book, and prepare to read the first few chapters before making a start on your daily sewing.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The plan to only read a few chapters quickly goes out the window.

Alucard is once again proving that his taste in books is flawless. You’re not sure you’ve ever been this engrossed in a book before.

The story is a simple one, but interesting. It tells the tale of a young woman, and how she helps a murderer named Asim change his ways and seek redemption. Just like the story with the tutor, you can see several similarities between you and Alucard here. The most noticeable is Asim’s guarded nature, and how that slowly starts to change as he allows the heroine to get closer to him, slowly telling her more of his past and his reasons for keeping her at arm's length for so long. Unlike the tutor however, the feelings between Asim and this heroine are genuine. He has stated multiple times that he won’t harm her in any way, nor will he allow anyone else to cause her harm.

Your heart almost broke a few chapters ago, when the heroine told Asim that she loves him, only for him to ignore her in favour of addressing the small group they are now traveling with. Even though you’d already read far too much, you just couldn’t leave it like that. Your reward for carrying on was a kiss between the two characters that had made you blush harder than any of the deplorable acts Ser Michaelis committed. Asim pushed the heroine against the wall and claimed her lips passionately, telling her that he loves her. The joy and relief you’d felt for her was overshadowed by your own raging emotions, wondering if Alucard would ever seek to claim your first kiss in such a fashion…

Even with that resolution, you can’t bring yourself to stop reading. You’re far too invested. You simply must know what happens between them!

Right now, everyone has stopped to rest in an abandoned house. The group, assuming that the heroine and Asim are married, have opted to give them their own private room, something both parties have taken full advantage of; they’ve been kissing since they entered the room, and now things are starting to go even further.

‘With trembling hands, I slide my dress down my body, turning my head away so that I don’t have to see Asim’s reaction.

‘Instead, I hear it. ‘Beautiful. You’re so… May I touch you?’ He thinks me beautiful? He wishes to touch me? Why? I am but a plain woman, a woman with no grace or social standing. There are many in this world that hold more beauty in a single smile than I hold in my entire body.

‘A warm hand on my cheek coaxes me into looking at Asim, and it occurs to me that I must have spoken my thoughts aloud. ‘I was a broken man before you came into my life, so full of hatred and doubt. You have inspired me to change my ways, guided me with your love and your kindness. How can you stand there and tell me you are not beautiful, when every single thing that you do is filled with the brim with it?’ He kisses me softly then, and I melt into him, wrapping my arms around his neck as his calloused hands begin to explore my body.’

You have to push the book away, wave after wave of tears spilling from your eyes. Could any of that be true? Is it possible to be beautiful based on words and deeds alone? You know that your body will never hold any appeal to Alucard, but maybe if you showed him that you can be beautiful in other ways…

Soft sobs start to escape your chest, and you bring your knees up so you can wrap your arms around them. As if that could ever happen. If it could, if there was anything in you worth looking at, Alucard would have seen it by now. He’d be sitting in his room right now, agonising over ways to tell you that he has seen that beauty in you, and would like to call you his own. As it is, he’s probably reading a book of his own, blissfully unaware of the fact that you’re falling in love with him more and more each day.

Wait, what? Love? You love…

It makes sense now. You should have seen it sooner. Friends don’t feel the way you feel for Alucard. Even if this isn’t love, it’s the closest thing you know, and with it steadily growing each and every day…

What are you supposed to do with this conclusion? You can’t tell Alucard how you feel. He sees you as a friend, a guest, an… an inconvenience. He wants you to leave him home. He hasn’t told you to stay, so he must still want you gone. Confessing the fact that you’re falling for him would only serve to hasten your departure. He can’t find out about this. He can’t. You just need to hide it. Hide the poems and try to push your feelings deep. It’ll be fine. He won’t discover them. Not if you’re careful.

For now, the best thing to do would be to stop reading that book, and make a start on Alucard’s dolls. You’re pretty sure you remember what they look like. You could always just make the arms and legs today, and then at dinner time, commit your time to memorising one of the dolls. The sooner you finish them, the better. Then at least you can leave at the drop of a hat, satisfied that you have something to offer him as a farewell gift. You owe him that much, at least.

No, you don’t. You don’t owe him anything. He keeps reminding you of that. You’re doing this because you want him to have something nice, a reminder not only of his friends, but of you, too.

Alucard deserves to have something nice in his life.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Against his better judgement, Alucard has decided to leave the castle again today, to pay a visit to the flower field.

His friend seems perfectly content to be left to her own devices for a while, which gives him opportunity enough to do what he wants. He won’t linger here, just in case she needs him to carry her somewhere. All he needs is time enough to sit by himself amongst the flowers, and try to recall the way she had looked the day she accompanied him.

In all fairness, Alucard could have just asked her to come out here with him, but he doubts she would have agreed to what he has in mind. Besides, with any luck, she would have found the book he left out for her by now, and is probably enjoying it too much to want to leave it.

In truth, Alucard has no idea what possessed him to lend her that book, but he suspects it has a lot to do with that filth he discovered the other day. His completely obscene dream had reminded him of that, which had in turn given birth to a new thought; what if she assumes that all men are like the villian in that book? Will that be all she comes to expect? After all, she admitted herself that she has no idea what love is. Alucard isn’t entirely certain himself, but he knows love is nothing like that book. That’s what had driven him to scour the library in search of something else. Something softer. A better representation of how relationships should be.

Of course, there is a small part of Alucard that wants to let her know how he would court her. He would be more like the man in this new book. Gentle. Soothing. He would never force her into anything, and he would remind her constantly that her presence in his life is a gift.

Whether she’s enjoying the book or not, Alucard has his own hobby to indulge in. It’s been quite some time since he did any kind of portraiture, but he needs this. Needs to capture her beauty on paper.

An image of her finally comes to him. Her smiling face in the sun, a crown of flowers on her head. An angel. A goddess. A princess, nestled within her floral kingdom. Maybe he’ll take her some flowers when he leaves. She’ll like that. The way she holds them up to her face, taking a moment to inhale their fragrance. It’s a pity that no perfume quite compares. If it did, he would buy her a bottle, so that she could always smell flowers. All flowers would smell so much sweeter on her than they do in this field.

Sketching the basic outline of her face, Alucard hopes that his skills haven’t grown rusty. If he is going to try and capture her appearance on paper, he needs it to be perfect. He needs to trace the lines of her face carefully, so that he has a permanent reminder of her. That way, if she leaves, he won’t forget what she looks like…

As if he ever could. Her smile isn’t something easy to forget.

He often wonders if she feels the same about his smile. His face. When she leaves, will she remember him? Or will the memories of him slowly fade away, until the only thing she can remember is her comparison between him and honey?

A single tear falls onto the drawing, landing above a half-drawn eye. After all the tears she’s had for him, it’s strange to think that he’s now sat crying over her. He sees now that he should have been open with her from the very beginning. She should have never put a countdown on his hospitality. She’ll leave this place soon, and her memories of him will fade, as all memories do. She doesn’t even know his real name. He hasn’t even given her that. Is that all he’ll be to her one day? A hazy face and a fake name?

Suddenly, drawing her doesn’t feel like such a good idea. If he wishes to capture her essence, his heart should be full of happiness, not sorrow. She is joyful. At least, she brings joy into his life.

With a frustrated sigh, Alucard abandons his task, before carefully selecting flowers to give to the woman that his mind can’t seem to let go of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advanced yet vague warning for the next chapter; Alucard is half vampire O.O
> 
> Might also be delayed by a day, but we'll see. For now, thank you for reading, and hope to see you in the next chapter :)


	18. Curiouser And Curiouser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> As warned in the last chapter, this chapter features some hematophagy. In other words, things are about to really suck... (Blood drinking. It's blood drinking)
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

To your great relief, it seems that your day of luxury has done your ankle the world of good; you’re now back to being able to move pretty much freely, your stick the only aid needed. It’s probably just as well, really. Ever since your disastrous attempt at poetry last week, you’ve been finding it hard to be around Alucard without thinking of it and cringing. It’s a good thing you’ve hidden it well away from his view. At least, you hope you have…

Still, you do miss that close contact with him. The last time he carried you is probably the last time you’ll ever feel his broad chest against you. It’s almost enough to make you ask him to carry you everywhere anyway, recovery be damned.

You’re not going to do that, though. Nope, tonight you are going to sit and eat your dinner with Alucard in peace, and make your own way back to bed when the meal is concluded. You’re making good headway with the Trevor doll, so you’re keen to get back to work just as soon as your meal is finished.

Tonight, Alucard is cooking meat and vegetables, a fairly standard affair. To be more specific, he’s cooking you meat and vegetables; you’re better acquainted with Alucard’s oven than his piece of meat is. It’s practically still bleeding! All he’s really done is warm it slightly, no real cooking at all. Not that you’re ungrateful to him! He cooks yours to perfection every time. It’s just a little concerning is all. You’ve heard of many people getting sick from eating raw meat…

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Alucard places dinner in front of you, his other hand pouring water into your glass. ‘Dinner is served. I hope it is cooked to your liking.’ He speaks as if he’s ever disappointed you. You’re not sure he’s given you a single meal yet that you’ve not wolfed down eagerly. 

As Alucard takes his place beside you, you cut off a slice of meat, making sure to chew and swallow it properly before delivering your verdict. ‘Perfect as always, Alucard. Thank you for my meal.’ Once you have more confidence, you still need to cook him a meal. Surely if he’s willing to let you buy fabrics, he’d be willing to risk a few food items on your meagre culinary skills? That’s definitely a request you need to make of him before you leave. It would be a shame to have him do all the cooking for you both. Besides, you’ve assisted him enough that the end result would probably be edible, at least.

Alucard smiles. ‘There is no need to thank me. Dining well is all part of living in this castle.’ An odd way to phrase it. Usually he just tells you it’s a big part of the healing process.

You frown slightly. ‘So everyone who’s ever lived here has eaten well?’ Given that this castle has housed at least one fully-fledged vampire before, you’re not certain that you want to know the answer to that.

Picking up on the implication, Alucard blushes slightly. ‘Allow me to rephrase. All those that choose to dine on the flesh of animals rather than humans have eaten well here. No, that doesn’t sound much better, does it? All those who do not drink bloo-‘ he sighs. ‘You’re welcome, my friend.’ He eats his meal in hasty silence, that blush still clinging onto his cheeks. A light blush really suits him. It takes away from the paleness that could easily be mistaken for coldness, and gives him a warm that feels almost familiar. You’d spend days teasing the blush out of him if you thought he wouldn’t be upset with you for such an act. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t be; there is very little that you have done that has ever upset him.

You giggle, which does seem to intensify his blush. ‘I appreciate the sentiment. You always take such good care of me.’ You pause then, looking at his meal. ‘Does the meat taste better when it’s raw like that?’ As gross as it looks, you’re curious. Alucard normally has such flawless taste buds, so maybe it’s a lot better than it looks?

Temporarily abandoning his eating, Alucard cuts off a small piece of meat, spearing it on his fork before offering it to you. ‘Try some. It’s the best way to find out.’ He’d let you eat off his fork like this? Are friends supposed to do that?

Trying to be as polite about it as you can, you lean down and take the meat into your mouth. As you begin to chew it slowly, a frown forms on your face; this isn’t particularly nice at all! It just tastes of blood, or what you think blood tastes like.

As you reluctantly swallow it, Alucard chuckles. ‘I take it you’re not a fan of my preferred meat preparation?’ That’s putting it lightly. You’re definitely sticking to cooked meats from now on!

Washing down that mouthful with a generous gulp of water, you shake your head. ‘It’s not great. I’m glad I’ve never had to eat meat raw like that.’ 

That seems to pique Alucard’s curiosity. ‘Never? Not even in desperation?’

You shake your head again, firmer this time. ‘Not even then. Meat isn’t exactly a desperation food, anyway. It’s a real luxury item, one I’ve never really had much of before. I heard someone say once that raw meat is bad for you, so even if I was in a position to kill an animal or something, unless I could make a fire, I decided not to take the risk. Places where animals live tend to have a few bushes to scavenge from anyway, and I’d sooner take my chances with berries.’ After years of scraping by, you’ve become very good at identifying which foods are good to eat, and which ones are lethal; you have no experience with any consequences of bad meat.

His curiosity satisfied, Alucard continues with his meal, taking a few more mouthfuls before coming up with a response. ‘A wise precaution. There are many things lurking in uncooked meats that could be a source of great misery. You should be fine with that small piece because it isn’t completely raw, but it is best not to make a habit of it. The only reason I’m eating it so rare is I rather like the taste of the blood, unsavoury as that sounds.’ No, that makes sense. He did tell you that vampires like blood, after all.

A few more moments of silence pass, with your meals now mostly eaten, before a question enters your mind. ‘Which tastes better, animal blood or human?’ When you first arrived here, you never dreamed you’d be able to ask such an invasive question without fear of repercussion. Then again, you never imagined you’d be talking with Alucard about the fact that he drinks human blood in the first place.

Alucard nearly chokes on his mouthful, needing to swallow some water before he can respond. ‘It depends entirely on both the animal and the human. I haven’t tasted much human blood before, but what I have had has tasted rather pleasant. Then again, I find the blood of pigs to be pleasant also, so take from that what you will.’ Pigs? You weren’t quite expecting him to like the blood of such a dirty animal. You’d half expected him to name a more refined animal, like a deer or something.Does that make you an animal blood snob?

It does make you wonder though… ‘What makes the blood of different people taste unique?’ 

Once again, Alucard seems surprised by your question, but he answers it nevertheless. ‘Quite a few things, actually. Diet is an important factor, as is overall health.’ His voice grows slightly quieter, as if he’s embarrassed. ‘I’ve heard that the sweetest blood comes from virgins, but I can’t attest to that.’ Virgins? 

You need some clarification. ‘Virgin in what sense? Because in one of your books it mentions that virgin blood actually refers to blood that has never been used in a ritual before.’ Reading books has taught you some really wild stuff!

Alucard raises his eyebrows at that. ‘It never fails to amaze me how much you have expanded your knowledge since arriving here. In this case however, I am speaking of virginity in the more traditional sense. That is to say, someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse.’ He becomes oddly preoccupied in the remains of his dinner after that, giving you time to organise your thoughts. No sexual intercourse? Like you? So your blood would class as virgin blood?

Thinking back to the night when you cut open your hand, you ask yet another question. ‘Is that why you’re curious about how my blood tastes? Because you’ve never had a virgin before?’ Can he tell that you are? Is he able to smell it?

Alucard swallows hard, deliberately staring at his glass to avoid making eye contact. ‘That is part of it. I am however curious just for curiosity's sake. I have been around your blood rather a lot, after all. As I have stated before though, you are safe with me. I will not drink from you, under any circumstances.’ He wouldn’t? None at all? There’s no way he’d ever do that? Not even if…

Your voice is small and quiet. ‘What if I gave you my permission? What if I offered you my blood? Not to the point where I’d die, but just a little taste? Would you refuse it?’ Alucard’s eyes snap up to meet yours, and you begin to wonder if he’ll snap at you for offering yourself up as food so easily.

Instead, all he does is eye you cautiously. ‘That would depend on your reason for offering it. I didn’t take you into my home and nourish you just so you’d make for a better meal. However, if I did have your consent for a valid reason, I can’t deny I would be tempted.’ Tempted… Why does that word make your heart race? What would it feel like, letting Alucard have a quick sip of your blood? Would he like it? What if he doesn’t? What if even your blood does nothing for him? You’re almost scared to let him try it just in case he hates it.

Taking a deep breath, you silently hope you don’t regret this. ‘You have my consent, if you want it. I would like to offer you some of my blood, in the name of curiosity.’ Is that too weak a reason? Will he turn you down for that?

Alucard stares at you for a long moment, thinking your offer through. ‘Just so we’re clear, you owe me nothing. If this has anything at all to do with me saving your life, I will not accept your blood. But if it isn’t, and you offer me this purely to satisfy both your curiosity and my own, I would be willing. Would you like me to detail how I will feed?’ Now your heart is beating wildly. He’s going to do it. He’s actually going to taste your blood! You shouldn’t be excited about this, but you can’t help it; if nothing else, it’s a chance to feel close to Alucard, in a strange way…

Trying not to appear nervous, you nod. ‘Tell me.’

His meal forgotten, Alucard opens his mouth, letting you get a good look at his teeth before explaining. ‘As I am only taking a little, I’ll use my teeth to make a small incision, and then I’ll suck a little blood. Just a small sip, enough that you’ll barely miss it. Is that okay with you, or would you like to withdraw your consent?’ You’re relieved that he’s giving you a chance to back out, even if you don’t want to; it only helps illustrate that he isn’t forcing this, and he truly doesn’t wish you any harm. He’s merely taking you up on your offer, something you have no intention of withdrawing.

You smile at him softly. ‘I trust you, Alucard. I know you won’t drink it all. Where would you like to bite me?’ For all his technical language, a bite is what it ultimately comes down to.

After thinking for a moment, Alucard stands, and indicates that you should do the same. When you’re both up, he moves the plates and glasses to one side and gestures to a vacant spot on the table.

When you’re comfortably sitting on the table, Alucard stands in front of you, the look he’s giving you sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. ‘The neck is easiest, but I can bite anywhere. Where would be most comfortable for you?’ Given that he’s about to bite into your body, it’s really not going to make a difference, surely? Pain is pain, after all.

Brushing your hair to one side, you bare your neck to Alucard, nerves causing you to close your eyes. ‘Neck is fine. I hope I taste okay.’ If he sinks his teeth in and retches from the taste, you might just die of shame.

After a tense few seconds, you feel Alucard’s hot breath against your neck. Fighting the urge to whimper when he places his lips against your skin, you brace yourself for the pain. Will it hurt terribly? Will the pain be too much? If it is, Alucard will stop, right? If you tell him to?

You’re so busy worrying that you almost miss the slight sting of Alucard sinking his teeth into you.

You gasp, the sensation an odd one. It stings, certainly, but there’s something else. Something almost pleasurable…

After carefully lapping up a few stray trickles of blood, Alucard seals his lips over the cuts in your neck, and suckles gently, careful not to take too much of it. Your hands begin to twitch as you fight the urge to bury them in his hair, wanting him to be closer still. So this is what it feels like, offering him your blood? That must be why the dream version of you was so willing; a part of you must have always known that this would feel incredible.

The thought of your dream, combined with the sensations rushing through you, is enough to make a moan tear from your throat without your permission.

As if the noise had broken some kind of trance, Alucard gives the wound a final brief lick before pulling away.

Opening your eyes to look at him, you see that Alucard’s whole face is bright red. ‘It is indeed sweeter than most blood. Thank you for indulging me. I would advise going to rest now. I shall see you in the morning, unless you have need of my assistance in the night.’ Oh… he’s sending you to bed? It makes sense. He’s probably worried that he hurt you or something. Still, at least he thinks your blood is sweet. That’s something.

On wobbly legs, you get down from the table, grabbing your stick before making your way to the kitchen door, pausing for a moment to look back at Alucard. ‘Thank you again for dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Not sure if you can trust yourself to speak to him much longer, you leave, and slowly make your way back to your bedroom.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It’s no use. You’ve been laid in bed for hours now trying to sleep, but you can’t. Not after what happened in the dining room.

At first, you’d almost assumed you were over it. You’d worked a little more on his dolls, waiting until your eyes grew heavy before settling in to sleep. But right now, with nothing to distract you, memories of what just happened keep racing through your mind, an unbearable warmth settling between your legs. Why has that small incident caused your body to react in such a way? Does it have something to do with Alucard’s vampiric abilities? Or is it more to do with the intimacy of it? Maybe it’s the fact that he seemed to enjoy it, the taste of your blood…

Damn it. You can’t stay like this. You’ll never get to sleep if you don’t do something.

What can you do though? How do you stop this? What can you do to make this heat go away?

The answer is simple, but you don’t know if you like it; you could touch yourself.

Just the thought of it makes you hotter, a mixture of both embarrassment and arousal. You can’t. You couldn’t. Alucard will find out, and then what? What do you tell him?

Then again, why should it matter? You’re a grown woman, and you have new and uncertain feelings that you want to explore. Hasn’t he been encouraging you to learn new things lately? Besides, this is the only safe environment you’ll have for quite some time. If you’re ever going to be able to explore these feelings, it’s now or never.

Confident in your decision, you begin to bunch your nightgown up past your waist, and spread your legs to allow you access to your most intimate area.

With great trepidation, you place your hand between your legs, and stroke yourself, rubbing against something that makes you squeal in delight. That’s new. What part of you made you feel that way? If you touch it again, will it still feel nice?

A little more confident, you keep on stroking yourself, closing your eyes as you try to focus on your pleasure. You can feel yourself growing wet with each stroke, something those filthy books you’ve been reading has taught you is natural. Will the wetness help you stroke yourself? Will this be enough to adequately pleasure yourself?

As your pleasure seems to grow more intense, you decide that you need more. If you want this to feel nice, touch alone isn’t going to be enough. You need your mind to be stimulated, but how?

The answer is perfectly simple; you just have to imagine it’s Alucard that has his hand down there right now.

The thought of that alone brings a new wave of pleasure, so you decide to keep it up. You imagine that Alucard is here with you right now, stroking you gently as he whispers gentle encouragement in your ear. As unrealistic as it is, you imagine him telling you now beautiful you look like this, your legs spread wide open just for him. The imaginary Alucard also tells you that you feel amazing, and all he wants to do right now is settle between your legs and claim you as his own.

That thought alone makes your whole body tense up as your pleasure reaches an unknown peak, muscles beginning to jitter helplessly as you fight hard to remain silent. Is this the orgasm mentioned in your book? You’d forgotten about that. Forgotten that pleasure like this reaches a peak before fizzling to an end…

As satisfied as you’re going to get, you close your eyes, finally managing to drift into an uneasy sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

If Alucard felt like a monster over his dream, then he isn’t sure what to make of himself right now, as he willingly and knowingly wraps a hand around his cock and starts pumping away.

Fuck, but he needs this. It’s too much. What happened in the kitchen was too much, and if he doesn’t do something right here and now, he’s in danger of forgetting himself the next time he sees her.

It’s a miracle he’s made it up to his room. He was half-tempted to unlace his trousers in the kitchen and bring himself to completion there. The only thing that had stopped him was the increased risk of her finding him in the kitchen, her desire to help him with chores overwhelming her natural willingness to listen to his suggestions. The worst thing about discovery in this case would not have been her judgement of him, but rather the overwhelming desire he would have had to ask her to join in.

Drinking her blood was a mistake. He should have categorically refused, told her he had no interest. But she had been so willing, and his natural curiosity in that moment so great…

Alucard clenches his cock harder at the memory of sinking his teeth into her delicate neck, part of him feeling a surge of primal pride at marking her. He shouldn’t, because she’s not his, but right now, in the depths of his fantasy, that detail doesn’t matter. All that matters is the noise she made as he drank from her. He could taste the hormones rushing through her bloodstream, finding a hint of something that made him feel weak; want. For whatever reason, most likely the sheer unintended intimacy of the moment, she wanted him, and it took every ounce of self-control he had not to take her. It would have been so easy to push up her dress and have her right there on the kitchen table, but what then? She would not want him when the act was finished. She would surely hate him for it. Add to that his own issues about sex, about vulnerability...

So he’d forced himself away from her, and insisted that she leave before he did something that would have only hurt them both in the long run.

Oh, but how wonderful it felt to have her like that, so vulnerable and willing. It was too much, too intimate for friends, but he did it. He did it, and she let him. She let…

That’s all it takes for him to reach climax, this time coating his hand instead of the sheets. He shouldn't have done this, but he can’t deny how incredible it feels.

Finally calm, Alucard can now see the situation with clarity. She may have said that it was all about curiosity, but he isn’t sure that’s the whole story. After all, before she was even fully aware of what drinking her blood would mean, she had told him that she trusts him. It is one thing to trust him not to hurt her, but to put her life in his hands just to satisfy his curiosity…

It is the ultimate act of trust, and he should not allow it to go unreciprocated. If she has this much faith in him, faith that he will not kill her even when she is at her most vulnerable with his teeth at her throat, then he owes her the same level of trust. Even if he can’t trust her as completely as he might have done, there is one thing he can do.

If she is willing to show him such vulnerability, he will show her some in return.

Cleaning himself up, Alucard makes an agreement with himself. If he is going to let her in like this, then he needs to control these urges. Their friendship relies so heavily on trust, and nothing should come between that. Besides, even if he was to give in and admit the tender feelings he has blooming in his heart, she would not return them. She will never love him as anything more than a friend, and he must learn to live with that. To befriend someone of his kind is one thing, but anything more is basically impossible. Add to that his own issues, and friendship is already way more than he could have hoped for. Any reactions she had to him earlier were just reflective. She would have responded the same way if anyone else had been close to her in such a way.

As clean as he’s going to be, Alucard settles into a restless sleep, still plagued by her face. Come to think of it, as he pulled away from her in the kitchen, he could have sworn she wore the same face she had that night he roused her from sleep.

It must be a trick of the mind, and nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we're very hype about the next chapter :O
> 
> Also, massive thank you to everyone again for all the love and support. We're glad so many people are enjoying the story.
> 
> For now, thanks again, and hope to see you next time, when Alucard makes a shocking revelation O.O


	19. Bear To Hear The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> The warning this time comes only for feels T.T
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

Trying to forget about that incident in the kitchen has been difficult, despite the fact that it’s been a week now.

It’s a relief that Alucard has had the good sense not to bring it up, even if there seems to be something up with him. More than once you’ve caught him on the precipice of asking something, only to immediately back down once he’s realised you’ve noticed. Whatever it is, you wish he’d just come clean already, and put you both out of your misery.

Then again, perhaps it’s the blood that he wants to talk about. Is there a part of him that wants another taste of your blood? He never did give you details about how your blood tasted to him, only a vague comment about how it is sweeter than normal blood. Is it a sweetness he wishes to enjoy more often? Is that why he backed away so quickly? Was he tempted to have more than the mere taste offered to him, so he forced himself away before he gave into that urge? Letting him drink your blood may have been a massive mistake…

At least he still seems in control of himself, enough so that it hasn’t impacted your relationship too much. In fact, you’ve just finished making and eating lunch with him, and are now helping him clean up before you disappear to your room. The first of the dolls is finished now, and you estimate that the second will only take a few more hours, your experience and all the extra freetime you’ve had helping you to make them much faster than the Alucard doll. If anything, that doll itself has been a massive motivator, a constant reminder of why you’re making those dolls in the first place. You only wish you could give him something more than dolls as a thank you for everything that he’s done.

As you finish drying the last of the plates, you notice Alucard staring again, his brow furrowed. He looks away the moment he catches you looking, and you find your frustration boiling over, causing you to drop the plate on the side with a sigh. ‘Alucard, whatever it is, I would rather you just came out with it. You’ve been looking at me like that for days now, and it’s quite unsettling. Whatever it is, I promise it’s okay. We’re friends, after all. You can tell me anything.’ As long as he actually says something!

Alucard’s cheeks turn pink, the man clearly not expecting you to call him out like this. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve just… This is difficult for me. There is something I wish to show you, but I am uncertain on how to proceed. I’m not even sure if it’s something you’d be interested in seeing.’ That’s all this is? He’s been nervous over showing you something?

Abandoning the dishes, you walk over to Alucard, smiling in an attempt to soothe his nerves. ‘Is it important to you, this thing you want me to see?’ It surely must be, if he’s getting this worked up over it. That thought only makes you more curious. What could he want to show you so much that it takes him an entire week to work up the courage to do so?

In answer to your question, Alucard nods. ‘It’s one of the most important things in this castle. To me, at least. You might just see it as something sentimental and inconsequential, but I would like you to see it. If you are agreeable, that is.’ Why wouldn’t you be? When have you ever refused to look at something he wants to show you?

More confident now, you place a hand on his shoulder, trying to reassure him. ‘I’d love to see it, Alucard. Please show it to me.’ Even if whatever it is didn’t strike you as being something deeply personal, the fact that he’s so shy about it makes you curious. Sentimental, yet important… A piece of art maybe? Or an object? Maybe it’s a toy from when Alucard was a baby? Or a little statue or drawing he did when he was a child?

Smiling a little now thanks to your reassurance, Alucard nods. ‘Alright. It’s in my father’s study. Follow me.’ Without a further word, he leads you out of the kitchen and through the halls of the castle, your mind racing all the while. His father’s study? It really must be deeply personal if he wants you in there. You know where the room is, having passed it once on a tour, but the door had been closed, and Alucard seemed keen to gloss over it, your friendship not high enough at that point to earn you the right to personal questions. Even if you had found out much about his father that very same day…

Arriving at the door to the study, Alucard pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath. ‘I am sorry if I’ve worried you over this. What I’m about to show you isn’t something I show just anyone. However, you are my friend, and I want to share this with you. Please, come in.’ With that, he opens the door and gestures you inside, an invitation you take easily.

The room itself is far more modest than you were expecting it to be. Between the fireplace, large armchair and various tables, there doesn’t seem to be much floor space. Just like everything else in the castle, the furniture here seems to be of the utmost quality and style, and is probably worth more than most homes in the village.

However, as your eyes scan the room, and as Alucard slips in behind you, one thing catches your eye more than anything else; a portrait.

You start to walk towards it automatically, initially thinking it to be a portrait of Alucard. But the eyes are the wrong colour, and while the hair of the subject is golden, it is styled in a way that is clearly more feminine. The fact that the subject is in a dress only further confirms that it is in fact a woman. A woman, but one who bears a striking resemblance to the man now standing at your side.

Unlike the portrait of Dracula, you don’t need Alucard to tell you who this is. ‘This is your mother.’ There’s no one else it could be. The likeness is too uncanny.

Alucard hums. ‘That’s right. Her name was Lisa.’

You smile at that. ‘That’s a beautiful name.’ A beautiful name for what is clearly a very beautiful woman. It’s not hard to see where all of Alucard’s beauty comes from.

Even if you’re not looking at him right now, you think Alucard is smiling. ‘My father thought the same. He was captivated by her from the very moment she stepped into his life. All my mother ever wanted was to help people. She heard a rumour that my father had access to knowledge that would benefit people, so she searched for him. She walked right up to this castle, through a field of skeletons I might add, and pounded on the front door with the pommel of her knife.

‘Needless to say, Dracula was shocked. When he appeared before her, and asked what she was willing to give him as tribute for sharing his knowledge, he expected her to cower in fear. Instead, she offered to teach him some manners. I think that was the moment my father realised there was no getting rid of her. He gave her access to all of his knowledge, and in time… well, I think my existence tells you the rest.’ They fell in love, got married, and had Alucard…

Something finally clicks in your brain, something you should have considered right from the moment Alucard told you who she is.

Tearing your eyes away from the portrait, you look at Alucard, who is still staring at his mother’s image. ‘She’s the one, isn’t she? The one who’s death drove Dracula to madness?’ You didn’t even think of that before. Did you think that he had a different wife, or that Alucard was the child of a mistress or something? How did you miss this?

A single tear falls from Alucard’s eye. ‘All she ever wanted was to help people. She had so much love for humanity, and for that, she paid the ultimate price. The inquisition burnt my mother at the stake as a witch, and nobody spoke out. Nobody tried to save her. They just let her die. Despite that, I hold no hate for humanity. That is not the way my mother taught me to be. In many ways, I pity them. Pity the ignorance that so many are loath to part with. Had they only listened to reason…

‘Then again, I should not judge humanity with such haste. After all, my father did not listen to reason. I begged him to see reason, tried to explain that I shared in his grief. The scar on my chest is all that my efforts got me.’ That’s why Dracula tried to kill him? Because he tried to comfort him over the death of his mother? He’d just lost his mother, only for his father to turn on him… He lost both of his parents in such painfully quick succession.

You’re crying now, as if Alucard’s pain is your own. You need to do something for him. Something to ease that pain. But what? You’d reach out and hold his hand if you could, but is that too much? Would he even want physical contact right now? You can feel his sorrow coming off of him in waves, and you don’t know how to comfort him. You can’t cradle his larger frame in the same way that he can cradle yours.

Instead, you look back at the portrait, and do something that might only make him more upset, or even angry. ‘She would be so proud of you. I can see it in her eyes. She would be so proud that her son did not allow himself to fall into hatred like his father. If she was here now, she would tell you that she loves you, and thank you for honoring the lessons that she has taught you. And then, once the two of you had said whatever you needed to say, I would have thanked her. Thanked her for bringing someone as special as you into this world, and by extension, into my life. Thanked her for raising the kindness and most pure soul I ever have met. Thanked her for being responsible for the truest friend I could have ever hoped for. I would have thanked her for all of that, and she would have been prouder still of the way the most important person in her life turned out.’ You hear Alucard choke out a sob next to you, before you feel his strong arms pulling you into his chest. You go willingly, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist as his tears begin to fall on your head.

After a few moments, Alucard finally has it in him to speak. ‘You would have gotten on well with my mother. She liked people who weren’t afraid of learning new things. She’d be so happy I had a friend like you in my life. In a way, you have met her I suppose. It was her knowledge, the things that she taught me about medicine and how to treat the sick, that saved your life. The knowledge of one remarkable woman, saving the life of another. If she was here today, my mother would be pleased that I had put her knowledge to such good use.’ You’re not sure if your life truly counts as something worth using his mother’s knowledge over, but you’re grateful to her, the woman in the portrait, for the massive part that she unknowingly played in your life.

Looking back at her now, with tears in your eyes, an idea hits you; why not try to make Alucard a doll that looks like her? If he made those dolls because he misses his friends, then surely he’d want something to remind him of his mother? As invasive and personal as it is, if it somehow eases his pain even slightly, you have to do it for him. You have more than enough fabric left to make it. You even have enough to make the doll a dress fit for the angel that gave the world the man you lo-

Now is a bad time to think about that.

In an effort to distract yourself, you ask him a question. ‘Who painted this portrait? Did your father commission it?’ From what you’ve heard Alucard say, Dracula hated visitors, but if it was to paint a portrait of the woman he loves…

Alucard chuckles, smiling despite the tears in his eyes. ‘Would you believe that my father painted it himself? He had quite the eye for portraiture. That’s one thing he and I had in common. He taught me himself how to paint people like this.’ A faint blush colours Alucard’s cheeks. ‘That portrait you saw of my father on your first tour of the castle was my handiwork. He wasn’t a man that liked to be painted, but my mother insisted. She told him that she was commissioning me to paint it. My father couldn’t refuse then. He could never refuse the woman he loved anything.’ In much the same way Alucard has never refused you anything. That is one more difference, then. Alucard’s selflessness extends to friends, rather than just lovers.

You smile at him again, your own tears finally drying. ‘Thank you for sharing this with me, Alucard. You trusting me with all this means more than I can say.’ This must be so hard for him, allowing himself to relive such painful memories.

Alucard smiles back. ‘You’re welcome, but as you’ll recall, Alucard is not my real name. I am Adrian Tepes, son of Dracula and Lisa Tepes. It seems wrong, accepting a thank you for my honesty with a false name.’ His real name? He trusts you that much?!

Your mouth starts to ache from smiling, your heart soaring. ‘Adrian… I like it. It suits you somehow.’ It feels so strange, saying his real name like this. You’re not sure if you’ll ever get used to it. Not that you’ll even be here to get used to it…

Alucard nods. ‘My mother chose it. My father wanted to call me Orlok for some reason, but she talked him around. He was allowed to choose a middle name instead, which is still dreadful, but it is at least better than that.’ Okay, now you’re really curious. What’s his middle name?

When you ask that, Alucard sighs. ‘Fahrenheit.’ Now that is unusual!

You giggle. ‘I like it. It makes you sound fancy.’

Alucard raises his eyebrows. ‘And living in a castle doesn’t?’ The man has a point, you’ll give him that.

Still, you shake your head. ‘Nope. I’m currently living in a castle, and there’s nothing fancy about me.’ Expect your dress… and your bedroom… and your meals…

Your assessment makes Alucard frown. ‘You say that as if it’s a bad thing. A lot of supposedly fancy ladies have the most appalling manners. I would deem you to be far more fancy than them. Much better company, too. I am glad to be in the company of someone so easy to talk to.’ On that much, the two of you can very much agree, but you would make an amendment to that statement;

You are glad to be in the company of someone you care so much about.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After leaving his father’s study, Alucard’s friend heads back to her sewing, and Alucard heads back to his room, his heart beating with such intensity it may burst out of his chest long before he reaches his destination.

Telling her about his mother might be the best decision he’s ever made. That massive ball of grief that had once felt so heavy in his chest feels lighter now, like some of his pain has finally been eased. Hearing her speak of his mother like that, of how she would thank her just for creating him… It had made his heart overflow with emotion, the likes of which he’s never known. What is this ache that she is always leaving in his chest? Is this what true friendship feels like? But then, Trevor and Sypha are true friends. Why don’t they make him feel like this? What is this growing need to be constantly in her company, to be close to her? And why did his heart skip a beat when she said his name for the very first time?

Whatever it is, Alucard wishes it would stop. If it doesn’t, it’s only going to hurt him in the long run.

For now, at least he has a way to occupy himself, if he has the supplies to do so. Those few sketches of her in the field aren’t enough to properly immortalise her. If he wishes to do her beauty justice, he should paint her instead. After all, her light can’t truly shine without colour. He should paint her as she was that day, surrounded by colour and warmth, her eyes shining in the sunshine. That is the best and only way to remember her. Better yet, if she sees her painting here in the castle, maybe she’ll see this place as her home, and decide to stay? Even if that doesn’t happen, knowing that she will always be a part of his home might be enough to convince her to come back even if she does leave.

No matter what the outcome may be, this portrait is definitely something Alucard knows he has to do.

He just hopes he manages to do her beauty justice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The alternate name for this chapter was going to be Proud Of Your Boy, which is another reference to the Aladdin musical (which one of us is a big fan of). The title we ended up going for is a poem excerpt. There's one more small Easter egg in this chapter, of course ;)
> 
> Anyway, thank you all again for reading, and we hope to see you next time! ^.^


	20. Two's Company, Four's A Crowd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; mention of the bodies again.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy ^.^

With your ankle now largely healed, it only brings your imminent departure more towards the forefront of your mind. While Alucard hasn’t set an explicit date yet, or even mentioned it really, you’re sure he must be desperate for you to go by now.

As such, over the last week, you’ve made sure that he’s at least made aware of the fact that he swore to replace the clothing and binder he destroyed when you were first rushed in here. While he seems to have had little trouble procuring the clothes, the binder is something he seems adamant not to replace, to the point where the two of you had argued over it!

… Well, it wasn’t much of an argument. You’d just wrapped your bed sheets around your chest and threatened to use them as an alternative, should he refuse to give you a new binder. Alucard had laughed at that, equal parts amused by your antics and relieved that you’re comfortable challenging him. No longer are you the frightened woman that used to think he would starve and abuse you. Now you are more than happy to speak your mind with him, the consequences practically non-existent.

He still hasn’t given you that binder, though.

It matters not for a while, anyway. You’ve finally finished the dolls of Trevor and Sypha, and now you’re making a start on his mother. Ever since that day, Alucard has left the door to his father’s study open, so you’ve had plenty of opportunity to poke your head in and get a reference. Alucard himself seems to stick mostly to his room when you’re not with him, apparently working on something in there. More than one you’ve seen specks of colour on the sleeve of his shirt, an indication that he’s painting something in there. If you had to guess, you’d say he’s painting his mother, probably as a way to deal with his grief. You’re happy he’s found a creative outlet for his emotions, and are hopeful that he might decide to let you see the finished piece before you leave.

Right now however, neither of you are working on a creative pursuit. Right now, you’re both standing in the entrance way, a thin sheet of sweat covering both of you, as Alucard tries one more time to show you how to throw a punch.

Self-defence lessons weren’t ever something you’d thought you’d be asking for, but after that incident in the forest, it seems like an important thing to know. Even if you’ll never be as talented a fighter as Alucard, having even the most basic of knowledge on how to defend yourself is beyond valuable. It could be the difference between living and dying, the scars on your body a permanent reminder of how long and how often you have been forced to walk that line…

Alucard had been all for teaching you, agreeing that self-defence is important for any young woman. Of course, you won’t technically be a young woman when you leave here. But there is never any point in arguing when you’re getting your own way.

As Alucard finishes his demonstration, he smiles evenly. ‘Okay, do you think you are ready to punch me?’ Punch.. Him? Not a chance! Why would you ever want to hit Alucard?

You shake your head vehemently. ‘I can’t do that, Alucard. You’re my friend! I don’t want to risk hurting you.’ You have no idea of your own strength. What if you hit too hard, and give him a nasty bruise? Hurting him is unfeasible to you. You would punch a brick wall.

Alucard chuckles lightly, that same noise that always causes your stomach to twist in knots. ‘Not to immediately discredit your strength, but you won’t hurt me. Full grown men have kicked me somewhere rather unfortunate in the past without so much as making me flinch. If you do actually manage to hurt me, I’ll be more amazed than upset. Come on, try to take a swing at me.’ This feels so wrong. So, so wrong. This is Alucard, the man who took you in, the man who cares for you, the man who has shown you the most vulnerable parts of him without fear!

Still, you’ve never been able to ignore anything he’s asked you to do.

Clenching your hand into a tight fist, you take a swing at Alucard, bracing yourself for impact.

An impact that never comes as it happens; Alucard grabs your wrist mid-air, frowning. ‘No, this won’t do at all. Your fingers have wrapped about your thumb. If this had hit me with any force, you might have snapped your thumb in two, the last thing anyone wants. Here, it’s like this.’ Alucard delicately pulls your fingers open, freeing your thumb before repositioning your finger. ‘Like this, okay? Now, hit me as hard as you can.’ You swear you can still feel the heat of Alucard’s hands against yours, but you try to ignore it, pulling your arm back and trying to hit him again.

This time, you do make contact with him, but you immediately regret it; he is a lot harder than he looks.

You recoil your hand, shaking it wildly, as if that might stop the pain. Alucard takes hold of it again, his eyes scanning it for any signs of damage.

After a tense few moments, Alucard breathes a sigh of relief. ‘Not broken. Forgive me, I did not think it would cause you this much pain. For what it is worth, that punch did sting a little. Aim that at someone’s nose, and they won’t be walking away with anything less than a break.’ He really thinks you’re that strong? Coming from him, this is a massive compliment!

You beam up at him. ‘Thank you Adr- Alucard. I’m glad you think I’m doing okay.’ You’re still so uncertain as to when he’d allow you to use his name, if indeed he ever does.

Alucard leans down, brushing a kiss over your sore knuckles. ‘Of course I do. I’ve never been one to shy away from giving criticism if I feel it is needed. You might say I’m often too liberal with it. What would you like me to teach you next?’ How does he expect you to answer that after he put his lips on your body again? Doesn’t he realise what that does to you? Is he so unaffected by it that he doesn’t think you are either.

Clearing your throat, you carefully pull your hand away, and make a point of looking like you’re thinking. ‘Can you show me how to defend myself against someone brandishing a knife? I feel like that’s important.’ A lot of people these days seem to carry weapons, so it’s best to know it just in case, surely?

With a casual flick of his wrist, Alucard produces a knife, and gives you an even nod. ‘I agree. I’ll come at you with this, and I’d like you to stop me. It’ll be a good way for me to assess your current technique. I swear on my life that this blade won’t cut you. Are you okay with this?’ If Alucard had wanted you dead, he could have done it a hundred times over by now; he’s hardly going to do it now.

You smile, giving a nod of your own and taking up what you hope is a decent stance. ‘I trust you. I’m ready.’ As unusual as this approach seems, if it’s what Alucard thinks is best, you’ll go for it.

He’s never done you wrong before.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

‘God, I hate this fucking wagon. How long have we been riding now?’ If Trevor has to sit like this much longer, his ass is going to transcend numbness and lose all feeling completely.

Sypha purses her lips, thinking a moment. ‘If you mean how long has it been since we last took a proper break, I would say three days. I did tell you we should have stopped at the town.’ A charming-looking town it was too, with plenty of food on display and ready for purchase.

Trevor sighs. ‘What’s the point in stopping when we’re this close? We’ll just raid the vampire’s pantry when we get there.’ Looking at the road ahead, he knows that they can’t be more than a few minutes away now. It doesn’t seem to have changed at all since the last time they were here.

Sypha throws her arms up in exasperation. ‘You complain about not stopping two breaths before you complain about stopping! Which should we have done, then?’ Trevor isn’t the only one getting sick of not having a break; Sypha is pretty sure she has a splinter somewhere she can’t check in public.

Trying to calm Sypha, Trevor nudges her affectionately. ‘We could have stopped for a little break in the forest. Slept beneath the stars, really stretched our legs.’ And several other things; it’s been a lot longer than three days since they did other things.

Catching Trevor’s meaning, Sypha pushes him away. ‘For the last time, I don’t want to have sex with you in the woods. Who knows what kind of creatures could be watching? I don’t want to scar a poor little rabbit for life with your hairy toes!’ And if nothing else, it would be so terribly cold!

Trevor pouts, resigned to his fate without enjoying the fact. ‘You certainly know how to wound a man’s ego.’ He looks straight ahead then, his pout twisting into a smile. ‘Still, it’ll be nice to see the bloodsucker again. How long has it been now?’ It has to be the better part of a year now, by Trevor’s calculations.

Sypha frowns deeply. ‘Too long. I only hope he’s alright. I’m not sure we should have left him alone like this. Who knows what he’ll be like when we see him?’ She only hopes the isolation hasn’t gotten to him; she knows it would take less than a week of being alone to have her naming inanimate objects and declaring them friends.

Trevor waves a hand dismissively. ‘He’ll be fine. What’s the wor- oh.’ It’s at that moment the castle gates come into view, and the fear that Trevor has been trying to keep deep inside himself comes bubbling to the surface; he’s finally done it. Finally been consumed by the darkness within him, and now he’s displaying human bodies just how Dracula had done.

Pulling up outside the castle, Sypha pinches her nose, the smell unbearable. ‘Why would Alucard do something like this?’ This is not the man she remembers leaving here. The loneliness must have truly driven him insane.

Trevor unsheathes his whip, clenching it tightly as he approaches the front door, Sypha just behind him. ‘We’ll try to make him see reason, but if he attacks, we put him down. Agreed?’ She’s nodding before the words have time to sink in, the reality of the situation horrible. Having to kill their friend like this, after everything they’ve seen lately…

Without warning, they push the door open, and both of them gasp at what they see; Alucard is pining a young woman to the floor, knife in hand, smiling down at her.

With a single snap of his whip, Trevor has the knife out of Alucard’s hand, and Sypha is already preparing a spell, staring at the young woman in question. ‘Run! We’ll distract him!’ It’s going to be a tough fight, but maybe if they plead, they can make Alucard see sense.

What the young woman does next is enough to give them both pause; she stands defensively in front of Alucard, her arms stretched wide as if to shield him from harm. ‘If you want him, you’ll have to get through me first!’ Trevor and Sypha both exchange a look of surprise; she’s protecting him? Protecting Alucard, the vampire that was holding a knife to her seconds ago?

Coming to his senses, Alucard instead coaxes the young woman to stand aside so he can address Trevor and Sypha properly. ‘This looks a lot worse than it is, I assure you. I was just giving my friend here a lesson on self-defence. You both picked a rather poor moment to enter. Had you only knocked, I would have been able to explain that.’ Trevor is beginning to wonder how he ever missed this man; he can be a really irritating prick sometimes.

Still, Trevor does love to give it right back. ‘Did you give them a self-defence lesson, too?’ He gestures to the bodies outside, the front door still wide open.

Alucard’s cheeks go pink. ‘Ah. I had rather forgotten about them. I can explain that too, if you would be willing to hear me out. It was technically self-defence. Displaying them was only meant as a warning to any would-be thieves. Terribly effective, as you can see.’ He nudges the woman next to him playfully, and she seems to relax a bit, clearly relieved that Alucard is on good terms with the two people who burst in and attacked them.

In fact, after a few seconds, realisation flashes in her eyes. ‘Oh! You’re Trevor and Sypha! Alucard’s friends that went away to fight night creatures!’ She turns to Alucard, her eyes wide and excited. ‘That is them, right? The dolls in the kitchen?’ Dolls?! What dolls?!

Alucard’s blush only deepens. ‘The very same. These are indeed my wayward friends. Feel free to introduce yourself. I’m quite certain you’re not their target.’ The young woman does just that, offering her name and outstretching her hand to both of them.

Sypha is the first to take it, smiling softly. ‘It is very nice to meet you. I was not expecting Alucard to make a new friend like this.’ Although, Sypha can’t help but feel relieved; anything to help Alucard stay sane.

When it’s his turn to shake her hand, Trevor sighs. ‘We’re gone less than a year, and the vampire gets a girlfriend. This has to be the most shocking thing I’ve ever seen, and that includes those goats.’ At least this surprise smells nicer.

Both Alucard and the young woman shake their heads simultaneously, spouting the same words as they do. ‘We’re just friends, that’s all.’ Both of them are bright red now, and both Trevor and Sypha have the same thought ping through their minds; they’re clearly in love with each other.

The only question is this; is this woman good enough for their friend?

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At their own request, Trevor and Sypha are with you for the moment while Alucard places their belongings in a spare bedroom. They apparently want to make sure you’re not being held against your will, and to make sure you’re being kept properly. In truth, you don’t mind as it’s given you the opportunity to show off the gifts you’ve made Alucard…

… Still though, you wish they hadn’t interrupted you like that. You were rather enjoying having Alucard’s firm body pressed against you like that. It’s definitely a feeling you’re going to try and focus on in the future, the next time you feel like indulging in your feelings.

Inviting Trevor and Sypha into your room, you gesture around with a broad sweep of your hand. ‘This is my bedroom. It looks a little bland right now, but sometimes Alucard puts flowers in here to make it look nice. I have a lot of books and spare bits of paper in here right now, because Alucard has been teaching me to read and write. He feeds me three times a day, and I get snacks too if I want them. What do you think?’ If you’d known that you’d be showing them around, you would have tided up, but it doesn’t look that bad!

Trevor nods. ‘I see. This is a very nice room. Alucard does a lot for you, it seems.’ So even they can see it, despite Alucard’s own denial?

You’re more than willing to agree. ‘I owe him my life. Alucard found me practically beaten to death, and he took care of me. He’s so kind and sweet, and he’s never asked me for anything in return. He’s like an angel, when he’s not being cryptic or standoffish.’ Although to his credit, he’s gotten better at both.

The surprise of Sypha’s face is evident. ‘Oh yes, that’s definitely the Alucard we remember. A real angel.’

Trevor scoffs. ‘A real prick.’ Sypha smacks his arm for that, and you find yourself frowning; for a friend, Trevor doesn’t seem to like Alucard much. Maybe that’s why the doll Alucard made of him isn’t as nice as the Sypha one…

Oh, that’s right! You want to show them!

Travelling over to the other side of the bed, you grab the dolls, but don’t pull them out just yet. ‘Do you want to see the surprise gifts I made Alucard?’ Are they going to think them stupid? Or creepy? A woman that they don’t even know, making dolls of them?

Trevor seems less than enthused, but Sypha smiles politely. ‘We would love to!’ While you’re certain her eagerness is fake, you’ll take it; you pull the dolls out from under the bed, smiling proudly as they take in your handiwork.

Both of their jaws hit the floor for a moment, with Sypha being first to recover. ‘They look just like us! Don’t they, Trevor?’

After a few more seconds of staring, Trevor finally speaks. ‘It’s uncanny. Really uncanny. Please put them away now.’ Oh no, have you offended him? Would they rather you didn’t give them to Alucard?

Crestfallen, you place the dolls under the bed, making no move to hide your disappointment. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just… Alucard speaks about you both a lot. He misses you so terribly that he made dolls of his own. Only, his are quite bad. So I thought I could make him nice new ones that he could treasure, like he treasures your friendship. I’m trying to make him one of his mother, too…’ Is that an even worse idea? Will that be creepier still? Maybe you should rethink the whole idea…

After a forceful shove from Sypha, Trevor backtracks. ‘No, it’s great. It’s a lovely idea. A little weird, but they are a gift for the weirdest man I’ve ever met, so it fits.’ He really thinks so?

You must visibly perk up at that, because Sypha only reinforces the sentiment. ‘They are perfect! You’ve truly captured our essence. And, I think it is safe to say that you are not a prisoner here, so we should really help Alucard with our bags. We will see you again at dinner, I’m sure. Come on, Trevor.’ She tugs on his arm, and Trevor walks out of the room alongside her, leaving you alone.

Well, they certainly aren’t what you were expecting! Still, if they both think the dolls are a good idea, that’s a definite boost! Better yet, Alucard is going to be so happy that they’ve come back. Oh, maybe you should ask if you can make dinner for everyone tonight so that he can spend more time with them? It’ll be good practice, at least!

It’s so nice that all of Alucard’s friends are finally together.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Trevor makes sure him and Sypha are thoroughly out of earshot before he leans over and whispers to her. ‘So then, what do we think?’ He knows what he’s thinking, but he knows from experience it’s better to let Sypha go first just in case…

Sypha grins up at him like a maniac. ‘She’s so smitten with him! It’s adorable!’ Those aren’t quite the words Trevor would have chosen, but the sentiment is largely the same; it’s clear that the young woman has feelings for her vampire protector.

Still, Trevor has his doubts. ‘While I’m all in favour of Alucard getting laid instead of killing people, are you sure this isn’t just hero worship? He did save her life, after all. Besides, we’re both assuming that Alucard feels the same way.’ It could easily be loneliness alone that makes him keep her around.

Sypha raises a hand up to stroke her chin. ‘You are right. We need more evidence before we start to push them together. I will speak to her again, while you speak to Alucard. Then we can decide a plan of action.’ She’s pulling that face now, the one that Trevor knows all too well. This so isn’t going to end well…

Still, what harm can it really do?

Thinking back to the corpses outside, the answer seems to be a lot.

With a degree of reluctance, Trevor nods. ‘We talk to them, but nothing more. For now, I’m dying for a rest. Want to have a nice, rabbit-free rest with me?’

Sypha rolls her eyes. ‘If we must. But only if you rub my feet!’

Trevor sighs. ‘Yes, dear.’

Whatever plans they have for Alucard and the young woman will keep for an hour or so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, but next chapter shall be interesting...
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and hope to see you next time for said interesting stuff ;)


	21. There's Something There That Wasn't There Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; please don't sue us over the title chapter T.T It's just v appropriate
> 
> For now, enjoy :3

So maybe volunteering to cook was a bad idea.

While Alucard had seemed confident in your abilities when you’d asked to do it, and as great as it is for him to have the opportunity to speak with his friends, now that you’re stood here facing the daunting task of serving a meal for four…

Having your bedroom examined like that was quite daunting really. You can’t help but think that Trevor and Sypha were in there less to see how Alucard is treating you, and more to scope you out. What if they don’t like you? What if they’re telling Alucard right now that you’re a horrible and terrible person? Part of you almost wishes you were with them right now, so that you can at least try to defend yourself against all the bad things they must surely want to tell Alucard.

Still, you can’t begrudge Alucard some alone time with Trevor and Sypha. He’s been missing them so terribly. It almost makes you wonder if he’ll miss you like that when you’re gone. Or are you not that much of a friend? You’re not sure what’s worse; Alucard missing you like mad, or Alucard not caring enough to miss you in the first place.

Now isn’t the time to go there. You need to get a grip and focus. How are you even supposed to stuff this chicken? Do you just shove the stuffing in there, or is there some kind of special technique? Is the stuffing even correct? You’ve followed Alucard’s advice to the letter, but there’s always a chance you’ve messed it up.

You’re so busy worrying about the stuffing that when the door opens, you barely acknowledge it, only paying attention when you hear Alucard’s voice behind you. ‘How are you getting on? Do you need my help with anything?’ You were very much hoping he would stay with Trevor and Sypha for a while, so that you could have tried proving yourself properly. Still, as much as you want to do this on your own, if he’s offering you some assistance, you’d be a fool to turn him down.

You nod. ‘Do you think you could come over and check if I’m doing this right? I want to make a good impression, after what just happened.’ Not that they’ll ever likely forget the sight of you pinned beneath Alucard, looking like the half-vampire’s next meal…

Alucard chuckles, and if you looked behind you, you’d no doubt see him approaching slowly. ‘You’d have been a lot worse off if our positions were reversed. Can you imagine what they would have said if they’d found you holding a knife to me?’ As if you could have put Alucard in that position. You couldn’t even punch him without almost breaking bones!

With a sigh, you begin to turn your head, feeling guilty about speaking without even looking at him. ‘I think they’d have- oh!’ Alucard must have crossed the room quickly, because by the time you’ve finished turning your head, his face is right in front of yours, and you end up accidentally brushing your lips against his.

As if someone has lit a fire under your skin, you can feel your whole face grow painfully warm, tears pricking at your eyes as you quickly snap your head back towards the chicken. ‘I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise you were this close! Please, I really didn’t mean it.’ Oh shit, that was basically a kiss! Your first kiss! The first kiss you’ve ever had with anyone, given to the one person you’d most like to take it purely accidentally…

You hear Alucard clear his throat behind you. ‘It’s alright. I shouldn’t have crept quite so close. Forgive me for violating your personal space like this. I just thought it would be a good vantage point from which to teach you.’ As if Alucard standing directly behind you wasn’t enough to make you flustered, now you somehow have to stand here and listen to him speak if you want to make sure the food is of good quality.

Trying to shake off your feelings, you nod. ‘That’s fine. Could you show me how to stuff the chicken, please? And if the stuffing is any good? I followed the recipe, but…’ Considering you didn’t know how to read anything this time last year, you’re not sure if you’re competent at following written instructions yet. 

Alucard hums behind you. ‘If you followed all the steps, I’m sure it’s perfect. As for stuffing the bird, allow me to show you.’ His arms sneak around either side of you then, caging your body between them as Alucard grabs a handful of stuffing.

You have to fight hard to keep from melting into a puddle when Alucard bends his head a little, whispering instructions in your ear. ‘The trick is not to be too forceful. I know it seems tempting to shove it all in there at once, but you risk damaging the meat. You need to do it gradually, until it is completely stuffed full. Like this.’ Part of his hand disappears inside the chicken as he adds the first blob of stuffing. You can’t help but stare at it, Alucard’s words reminding you of something. Something about gently stuffing it until it’s all inside…

The first bit of stuffing now inside, Alucard withdraws his hand from the chicken, and puts it over one of yours before guiding it over the rest of the stuffing. ‘Your turn. Make sure to get it nice and deep so we know it’s full. There is nothing more disappointing than an understuffed chicken.’ Why are his descriptions making your body feel weird? Even as he guides your hand up to the chicken, the sense of deja vu you’re feeling doesn’t seem to go away. What is it? Something you’ve read perhaps?

You have to fight down a squeal when you realise exactly where you’ve heard that phrasing before; it’s in that awful filth book! Alucard is talking about stuffing this chicken in the same way Ser Michaelis once spoke of sleeping with a virgin!

Now that you’re finally aware of the comparison, you want to die. As if the embarrassment from that almost kiss wasn’t enough of a punishment for your secret feelings, now you have to suffer through the image of Alucard bending you forward over this work surface and stuffing you in a very different way! Surely he doesn’t realise how crude his words are? He’s just trying to help you out with this, and here you are making a thing out of it. It’s nice enough that he didn’t throw you out his kitchen and his castle after that near kiss! If he knew the lewd twist your mind had taken, he’d be disgusted with you!

As Alucard continues to assist you with stuffing the chicken, you dare not turn to look at him, as curious as you are about something. After all, you didn’t get a chance to look at him for long after your almost-kiss. Maybe he’s blushing too? His body certainly feels warm, the few places he’s pressing against you telling you that much. It would be quite comforting in a way, finding out that Alucard is just as embarrassed by the situation as you are. Then you could chalk it up to awkwardness amongst friends, which it is, rather than listening to that tiny part of you mistaking it for sexual tension.

Task finally complete, Alucard pats the stuffing gently. ‘I think that bird is well and truly stuffed. Stick it in the oven, and we’ll have ourselves something wonderful soon enough.’ If he wants you to do that, he’s going to have to move; you’re going nowhere with him standing behind you like this.

Still, even after his suggestion, Alucard remains still, his arms still trapping you. Why isn’t he moving? Is this whole thing a dream? Are you at the part where he savagely clears the table with a sweep of his arm before ravishing you? While not quite something you’d expect from dream or reality Alucard, as long as it involves him…

The door to the kitchen swings open then, and Alucard steps back as if startled. ‘There you are! I’ve been looking for you! Trevor is having an issue with a drawer in our bedroom, Alucard. I think you should take a look before he breaks it.’ In a way, you’re relieved that Sypha has arrived, but also deeply disappointed; for a moment there, it did feel like something was going to break.

Feeling that it’s finally safe to turn around, you catch Alucard nodding, his face crimson. ‘Alright. I’ll see what I can do.’ He turns back to you. ‘Do you need any more help?’ Not with the cooking. It’s just a shame he can’t help you with something far more important.

Sypha cuts you off, walking to stand between you and Alucard. ‘I shall help with the cooking. You go to Trevor before he manages to crush himself underneath a wardrobe or something.’ Is he likely to do that? Maybe Trevor is the idiot Alucard mentioned knowing a while back?

Sighing deeply, Alucard leaves the kitchen, leaving you and Sypha alone.

Trying your best not to let Sypha know how your encounter with Alucard has left you feeling, you place the chicken in the oven, glad to have it out of your sight. 

As you make a start on the potatoes, Sypha finally talks. ‘So, Alucard is quite the person, then?’ That’s a random question. As his friend, surely she should know the exact kind of person Alucard is?

Still, you have to say something, given the fact that her option of you can’t be that high at the moment. ‘Yes, he is.’ Has she already forgotten the fact that you called him an angel only a few hours ago? Or is she seeking confirmation?

Smiling, Sypha nods. ‘Yes. A good person. Quite handsome, too.’ Her words make something inside of you twinge. Is this what jealousy feels like? Why should you be jealous of her? Other than the fact that she’s prettier than you… and she’s known Alucard longer… and he might find her a lot more appealing than he finds you.

It’s not like you can disagree though, jealous or not. ‘Extremely handsome.’ Is that too much for a friend to say? You don’t want her to know that you have feelings for him. If you did, she’d tell him, and then he’d know, and he…

Your words make Sypha’s smile turn into a smirk. ‘So, you are attracted to him, then?’ Oh dear. It was too much! Now she knows, and she’s going to tell him, and he’ll reject you, and you’ll be heartbroken.

All the warmth that was in your face from your encounter with Alucard drains away, your complexion almost certainly becoming more pallid as fear sets in. Any thoughts of food preparation are lost as you face Sypha fully, your body trembling with uncertainty over what’s about to happen.

You take a deep breath, trying to explain yourself. ‘I’m not… It’s not… Please, don’t tell him. He’s done so much for me, and I don’t want to make it awkward with my unwanted feelings.’ Tears have returned to your eyes, and they’re not from embarrassment this time. You wish more than anything that what you’re telling Sypha isn’t true, and that Alucard would welcome such feelings because he shares in them. 

Upon seeing your tears, Sypha drops the smirk completely. ‘I was just teasing you. I won’t tell Alucard a thing. I may be a Speaker, but even we know when to shut up. If you don’t mind me asking, what are these feelings that you speak of? Do you feel as if you owe it to Alucard to care about him after everything he’s done for you?’ That’s a loaded question, one you’re not entirely sure you can answer.

Still, maybe talking to Sypha will help. After all, if she’s a friend of Alucard, you should be able to trust her. If she’s saying that she won’t tell Alucard any of this, then what do you really have to lose?

Taking a seat at the table due to your shaky legs, you start to pour your heart out to her. ‘Before Alucard saved my life, he threatened it. I was a thief once, you see. I tried to steal an apple from a nearby town, and they chased me. Alucard thought I was looking to rob him, but it was an honest mistake. So he gave me an apple, and sent me on my way. I promised him he’d never see me again, but then a month later I woke up in his spare room. I tried to steal a pair of old shoes, and ended up beaten to within an inch of my life. Alucard fished me out the stream and carried me here.

‘I was scared of Alucard, at first. I kept waiting for him to come into my room and tell me that I owed him for all that he had done. He never did. Instead, he just kept giving me more. Anything I needed, and a lot of things I didn’t. Throughout all of this, he’s always tried to make one thing clear; I owe him nothing. I don’t owe him money, or my body, or even my friendship. I’ve always been a guest here, not a prisoner. He’s always made it clear that I’m free to leave at any moment. 

‘But I don’t want to leave. Not him. It took me the longest time to realise that I’d fallen in love with him. I only realised it from reading about love in a book for fuck’s sake. Looking back though, I think I have loved him for a while. Sometimes I look into his sad, honeyed eyes and I think to myself that I would give anything to make him happy. When I have to leave, I know that despite everything he’s done to help me, my life is going to be worse than it was before, because now I know what it feels like to have him in it. I love him so much, and I wish I could tell him that, but I can’t. He would never love me back. Why would he? There are so many people out there that deserve the love of a man like Alucard so much more than I do. I’m barely fit to be his maid, nevermind his mistress. 

‘So, to answer your questions, I don’t feel as if I owe Alucard my love, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t his entirely.’ Your voice breaks on the last word, the reality of what you just said fully setting it. You really have fallen so deeply for them, there is no turning back. These feelings are going to stay with you for the rest of your life, long past the day you leave this place.

Sypha blinks heavily, taken aback by your honesty. ‘Wow, you really are in love with him. I almost thought you just had a massive crush on him. This is good, though. Perfect, in fact! If you know for sure you love him, you can tell him, and then you can both be happy together! ‘ What?! Did she listen to any of what you just said?!

You’re so shocked you almost gasp. ‘Sypha, I couldn’t! He’d feel like I was just doing it out of gratitude, or because I’m trying to convince him to let me stay longer. Besides, just look at me. I’m not pretty enough to be on Alucard’s arm, or in his bed.’ You’re barely pretty enough to live in the same castle as him. Even without the majority of your scars showing, surely she can see that.

Sypha scoffs, waving her arm in the air. ‘Ridiculous. You should have seen his face when I walked in here. The man was practically drooling over you. I have no doubt that if Trevor and I weren’t here, he would have pushed you against the nearest flat surface and made passionate love to you.’ So much for the heat in your face going away; now you feel hotter than ever!

Now you really do gasp. ‘He wouldn’t! Alucard wouldn’t do anything like that. A passionate kiss maybe, but we wouldn’t…’ Your voice goes very small. ‘He wouldn’t take my virginity in the kitchen, would he?’ The worst part is that if he asked you to, you probably would, although you would try to convince him that a bed would be better.

Sypha pats your arm affectionately. ‘If he loved you back, he would at least have the decency to take you to one of his many beds. First times can be disappointing enough without having sharp bits of furniture digging into your back.’ You can’t ask. It would be so rude. So personal…

Yet you ask anyway. ‘What does it feel like? Sex I mean? I’ve read about it in books, but I don’t know how much is real and how much is exaggerated.’ Given the nature of one of your books, you’re sure at least part of it is an exaggeration.

Sypha smiles wickedly. ‘If I tell you all about my first time, will you let me style your hair for dinner? I think I can make you look even prettier.’ How does that benefit her in the slightest though? She’s basically rewarding your inappropriate curiosity.

Still, considering it’s a win-win… ‘Alright, deal.’ You really should get back to the potatoes though, unless you want to make everyone starve.

That wicked smile of Sypha’s remains. ‘Excellent. Now, let me tell you the tale of how not even the last of a legendary warrior can last more than five minutes when it comes to battling the joys of sex!’ Oh dear. This is probably going to be more information than you were after.

Still, if she’s sharing this information with you, she must like you at least a little. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Friends like Sypha and Trevor can be both a blessing and a curse sometimes.

While Alucard appreciates being dragged away from the kitchen before he could do something he’ll eternally live to regret, had he only been there a moment longer, he might have finally lost the iron tight grip he has on his composure.

He’s more of a horny idiot now than Belmont has ever been. One little accidental brush of her lips against his, and he was ready to betray all of her trust right there and then. Worst still is that unless Alucard is mistaken, that was probably her first kiss. So, not only then did he stand far too close to her than was necessary, he also stole her first kiss. 

If he was going to be the one to take it, he would have much rather it were a proper kiss.

And then there was the stuffing. Fuck, he’s never going to be able to look at a chicken ever again. If there truly is a god, may he keep her in the dark as to the double-meaning of his words. Then again, if the thrum of her pulse underneath his fingers, and the frantic beat of her heart in his sensitive ears is any indication, maybe she did. Maybe it was fear. She was afraid he was going to manhandle her in other ways…

If he had her consent, he might have considered it. Just a kiss. A real kiss. The kind those impossibly soft lips deserve.

Instead, he has to go and help Trevor figure out how to open a drawer. 

Life can be so terribly unfair.

Opening the door to Trevor and Sypha’s room, Alucard frowns when he sees Trevor, the man looking far too smug for his liking. ‘Which drawer is it then, Belmont? I only hope you’ve not brutalised it in your haste.’ Some of the furniture is older than all four of its current occupants combined. It would be a shame to see it ruined.

Trevor shakes his head. ‘So, that’s the excuse Sypha gave you? And you actually fell for it? What’s wrong, vampire? Going soft in your old age?’ An excuse? Why? What reaso-

Oh, for pity’s sake. If she was so desperate to speak alone with his new friend, she should have just asked.

Alucard rolls his eyes. ‘I suppose you’re supposed to interrogate me in the meantime? Make sure I’m not in fact keeping her in a cupboard?’ After this deception, Alucard has half a mind to lock Trevor in a cupboard for taking part in this ambush.

Trevor chuckles. ‘I’m more interested in why you’re not keeping her in your bed instead. What, is pretty and a little naive not your type?’ Are his feelings so transparent that even Belmont has noticed? This is bad. If he is able to tell that Alucard has some feelings towards her, then she…

Alucard scowls. ‘That is none of your business.’

Standing from the bed, Trevor folds his arms out in front of him, trying to look serious. ‘Oh, it is my business. You seem to forget that my family have hunted your kind for centuries. If you’re going to be shacked up here making little, tiny Draculas, I need to know.’ He has the barefaced audacity to come in here and threaten Alucard’s hypothetical children?!

Alucard flicks his head in disgust. ‘For your information, the chances of there being any ‘baby draculas’ as you so heartlessly call them are slim to none, so you don’t have to worry about that. Not with her, and not with anyone.’ Probably for the best, too. He’s not sure that he should be trusted to raise a child, after how things with his own father turned out.

Trevor seems to grow slack at that. ‘I didn’t mean… Fuck, I told Sypha I’d be useless at this. Look, she and I noticed there was a bit of tension between the two of you, and we just wanted to know if there’s anything there.’ Anything past friendship he means?

Alucard sighs. ‘We are friends, and nothing more. While it is true that I do find her attractive, this is unimportant. We are friends.’ He’ll say that as many times as he has to, as long as Trevor gets it into his thick skull that it’s the truth.

Trevor grunts. ‘I’d say it’s important. I’m pretty sure she was giving you the eye at one point. You sure you don’t want to trade your friendship in for something more?’

Alucard’s scowl deepens. ‘Confident. Nothing can happen between the two of us. I am more than a friend to her. I’ve been a carer, a protector. To try anything sexual would be an abuse of her trust. It’s taken me so long to make her feel comfortable around me, as cold as I was when first I met her. I will not trade that in for a quick shag, Belmont.’ Why is he even humouring him in this? If Sypha is still determined to speak to his friend, then he’ll just work on the portrait until the meal is done.

Trevor shrugs. ‘I would, if I was you. It’s not like you’re going to get a better offer. Getting laid might make you smile for once in your life.’

Every word Trevor says seems to make Alucard more irate. ‘My relationship with her has nothing to do with sex. Stop implying that sex is all that she means, because that’s not true.’ Even if she is the star of his every fantasy, that’s not all she is. She’s the beautiful, floral princess that seems to bring nothing but joy into his very existence.

This makes Trevor raise his brow. ‘So, if you’re not interested in sex, and you’re far too invested in her wellbeing to eat her, what is she to you?’

Alucard has to fight the urge to punch him. ‘My friend! I’ve been telling you this from the moment you arrived!’ Has Trevor completely lost any kind of short term memory retention? 

Trevor starts to get angry right back. ‘Bullshit! Even I can see you’re lying to yourself, and according to you and Sypha, I’m an idiot. How do you really feel about her, Alucard? And I swear to god if you say ‘friend’ one more time, I’m marching down there right now and telling her you fuck goats!’ He wouldn’t! Also, why goats?!

With his fist clenched, Alucard’s frustration finally hits it’s limits, and he blurts out the one truth he’s been trying to bury inside of himself for months;

‘I love her!’

As Trevor stares at him with smug surprise, Alucard has to take a moment to let his own words sink in. He loves her. Yes, of course he does. There’s no other possible explanation for the way that he feels. He’s been in denial for so long that he’s been ignoring all the obvious signs. Always wanting to be close to her. The ache inside of him whenever she’s gone. Wanting to give her the entire world just to catch a glimpse of her smile…

Alucard stares at Trevor. ‘I’m totally screwed, Trevor. She’s leaving here soon. I made her promise when I took her in that she would leave when she was well again, and never come back. I don’t want her to go.’ Even with Trevor staring right at him, Alucard can do nothing to stop the flow of tears. This is real. He’s so desperately in love, but the very woman he loves won’t be in his life for much longer. Her absence is going to cut him deep, almost as deep as the absence of his family.

Now that he finally has his way, Trevor looks thoroughly guilty for pushing the subject, his eyebrows a worried line. ‘You have to tell her how you feel, then. If she knows that, maybe she won’t leave. Isn’t it worth trying?’ 

Alucard’s answer sounds every bit as snide as he meant it. ‘Oh, of course. It’s so simple! Why didn’t I think of that? Nevermind the fact that she feels she owes me her life. If I came to her with this, who’s to say that she won’t say the words back just to please me?’ Even if there’s this small part of Alucard that knows she isn’t like that, isn’t like them. She would never lie about something like this. If she was to offer her love to him, she would mean it, with everything that she is, knowing that she has no obligation to do so.

Trevor practically growls in frustration. ‘It’s the obvious answer because it’s the best solution. Look, she trusts you, alright? I’ve barely spoken to the woman and I can see that. She knows you won’t abuse that trust. If she doesn’t feel the same, which doesn’t seem likely from what I’ve seen, she knows you won’t force your feelings onto her. Don’t you owe it to her to show that same trust? To trust that she won’t just tell you what you want to hear to net herself an easy life? Not that life with you would be easy. In fact, I think the fact she’s lasted this long with you should get her a medal or something.’ Charming. Still, it’s equal parts comforting and unnerving, hearing Belmont agree with him on one thing; he does trust her. But enough to tell her his most precious secret?

Alucard hangs his head, dejected. ‘I will need time to think about this. In the meantime, do me the courtesy of keeping this conversation to yourself. For her to hear about this secondhand would just be cruel.’

Trevor shrugs. ‘So is keeping it from her in the first place, but I can keep my mouth shut. While you’re here though…’ Trevor lifts up one of the pillows, revealing a wooden handle that Alucard knows belongs to a dresser. ‘What should I do with this?’ Oh, but Alucard would love to show him exactly what to do with that…

Still, for all of his faults, it is nice to have a friend like Trevor in his life.

Just one more thing he’ll never be brave enough to say out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He finally did it! But now when will he do it? 
> 
> Answers available in the coming chapters. For now, thank you for reading, and we still haven't forgotten about the Draculisa fic; we're just v tired ;P


	22. Storm Of Emotions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; mention of death. No actual death though... yet (joking, joking) Oh, and a brief mention of an eight-legged house guest 
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

Trevor and Sypha only stay for a week, but by the time they leave, you’re already certain you’ve made at least one more new friend.

It had been heartbreaking to see Sypha go. In many ways, she ends up acting as an older sister to you, comforting you about your feelings for Alucard, and offering you gentle encouragement to just let him know how you feel. Even if you’ll never be able to put her words into action, it’s still nice that you had the chance to finally tell someone what’s been on your mind.

As for Trevor, he spent a lot of his time making sly remarks, and telling you all about the things the trio got up to when they travelled together. It’s going to be hard now to look at Alucard without the phrase ‘floating vampire Jesus’ coming into mind, a statement that had made the man in question blush before shooting Trevor a silencing glare.

They’re long gone now though. It’s been three weeks since they left here, some vague promise of not leaving it so long to visit next time on their lips. They both seemed so genuine when they said they were looking forward to seeing you again, something that had only caused your heart to ache; you know full-well that you’ll be gone long before their return.

In fact, you’re already set to leave.

After Alucard telling you it was difficult to find you a binder, you’d simply made one yourself from the leftover doll fabric. You could have sworn you saw tears in his eyes when you showed him your creation, but you’re probably imagining it. He’s probably relieved that you took the initiative.

The dolls themselves are totally finished now, and ready to be presented to Alucard. You’re planning to do it on your leaving day, so that he can’t possibly refuse them. Unless he really does hate them. Then you could always ask to stay longer if that’s the case, just to make him something better…

No, you can’t. You gave him your word. Once you decide to walk out of here, you won’t turn back. You’ll never see the man you love ever again, but you’ll deal with it. You’re used to being alone, after all. You have been for years. At least now you have skills you never could have dreamed of before. Maybe you can actually find a job now? There has to be a place somewhere for someone who has reading and writing skills. Then you can save up, maybe even leave the town someday. Find a place to settle elsewhere. Marry a man that can barely hold a candle to Alucard. Have a family. Try to forget your past, and the time you spent here.

As if you ever could.

Now isn’t the time to look forward though. Now it’s time to settle in for the evening, having just finished dinner. Well, maybe finished is a stretch. Ever since Trevor and Sypha left, you’ve been slowly cutting back on food, preparing yourself for your upcoming starvation. First you started only finishing half your lunch. Then skipping lunch. Half breakfast. Skip breakfast. Now you’re onto half dinner, despite your body protesting After all this time eating full meals, going back to starvation hurts.

The worst part is not being able to enjoy Alucard’s cooking anymore. It’s all been looking so good lately too, as if he’s trying to deliberately sabotage your plans. Even now he’s still presenting you with honey-covered oats each morning, trying desperately to entice you. He probably thinks you’re being so terribly ungrateful, even if you did explain your reasoning to him. If anything, explaining yourself has only made his attempts at getting you to eat more persistent.

As you snuggle into bed with the Alucard doll you made yourself, you start to feel sick, desperate for food. You’d love to break down and beg the real life Alucard for some food, but you can’t. In a week or so, he won’t be around to feed you at all. You have to stop being so dependent on his hospitality now, or else your new reality will be harder to accept.

Somehow, you manage to fall into an uneasy sleep, just as the sound of heavy rainfall begins to echo around the castle.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It’s cold now. Dark, too. Where are you? You’re not sure if you recognise this place, as shrouded in darkness as it is. Have you been here before? Why are you here now?

The light of the moon as it peeks out from behind a cloud illuminates the world around you, answers most of your questions. You’re in these woods again, by the stream. There were men chasing you. They found you. They beat you. There was so much blood, and pain, but now… you don’t feel anything.

As you stare into the stream, you see something that makes you feel sick; it’s you. Your body, lying broken in the stream. But wait, if that’s you, then why are you standing here?

A figure emerges from the darkness, golden locks catching in the light; Alucard. Surely he can explain what you’re doing here, as smart as he is.

You call out to him, but Alucard doesn’t hear you; instead, he falls to his knees, and cradles the version of you in the stream, sobbing so loud it seems to echo all around. Why is he so sad? You’re right here. That isn’t you, that’s…

His voice sounds far away, yet pained all the same. ‘I’m sorry. I wasn’t fast enough. Please, forgive me.’ What does he mean? Why won’t he look at you? Why isn’t he answering you? Can he not see you?

Oh. You think you know what this is now.

Looking down at yourself, you notice that your body isn’t solid anymore. You can see the world around you as if your body isn’t even here. You’re dead. Those men killed you.

Why does that make Alucard so sad though? He might be your friend, but you left him. You’re not his problem anymore. You’re nobody's problem now. You’re as you were before, alone and destitute. It’s a shock that he even still remembers you.

Even though you know he can’t see you, that doesn’t stop you walking over to Alucard, stroking a hand over his hair as your connection to the world grows weaker. ‘I’ll always love you, Alucard. No matter where I am.’ The world slowly becomes brighter and brighter, too vivid for you to cope with. Looking at Alucard one last time, you feel your soul being carried away, leaving this life- and the only person that really matters to you now- behind.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

You wake up in a cold sweat, just as thunder begins to shake the castle. A dream. Just a dream. Not real. You’re not dead.

There’s a bright flash of light outside, and you yelp, jumping out of bed with your hands clenched firmly around the little fabric Alucard as you try to find a safe spot in the room, somewhere the weather can’t hurt you.

Settling in the corner of the room next to an old dresser, you start to cry softly, the dream and the lighting both terrifying in their own ways. Nights like this remind you all-too clearly of living on the streets, and trying to find whatever shelter you could as you waited for the storm to pass. You’ll be back to that again soon. Hiding in secluded alleyways with nothing but a spare plank of wood separating you and the torrential rain. You’ve never managed to sleep through a storm, terrifying as they are, and even though you are safe inside these castle walls, you don’t think you’ll sleep tonight either.

Instead, you resign yourself to hiding here all night, cuddling the fake Alucard, wishing the real one was here to dry your tears.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Run.

That’s all Alucard can think of doing right now, but his legs won’t cooperate. He keeps trying to take advantage of his vampiric speed, but it isn’t working. He’s stuck running through the woods as if he were a human man, even if the heightened sense of smell acting as a compass right now tells a very different story. The scent he’s following is one he knows all too well, as much as he wishes he wasn’t so familiar to him;

It’s blood. Her blood. The blood of the woman he loves.

He shouldn’t have let her leave. He should have kept her in the castle somehow, forever safe from harm. He should have locked her in her room, or begged her on his hands and knees to stay. But he couldn't. A princess like her doesn’t belong in a cage, as gilded as he would have made it. She wanted to leave. Wanted to leave him. It was her decision, and he had to honour it. To keep her there just because he wants to spend forever in her company would have been a cruel thing to do, and the thought of anyone showing her any kind of cruelty sickens him.

He’s almost there now, at the source of the blood. He just hopes it’s not like it was before, when he first found her. With luck, she just tripped and fell on a rock. She is clumsy enough to do such a thing. If that really is the case, he’ll just take her back to the castle, bandage it up for her. Then they can have dinner together, just like they used to. Would she like to stay until she’s recovered? He can show her the portrait he painted of her, smiling happily with her crown of flowers upon her head. While it doesn’t come close to doing her beauty justice, just seeing it might make her happy. It’s proof that he never stopped thinking about her. Maybe then she’ll understand how he feels, how he wants her to be with him forever, and she’ll stay of her own volition.

When he finally spots her, Alucard almost throws up.

There’s so much blood. More than there was before. The whole stream is saturated with it.

He rushes over to her, to help her, but he knows it’s too late; when he checks for a pulse, he finds only silence.

Alucard lets out an ungodly wail, grief ripping his chest in two. Who did this to her? Who killed the pure and beautiful soul that he would have given his life for a thousand times over? He’ll kill them. He’ll kill them all. Whoever did this to her doesn’t deserve to live. He’ll find them, and he’ll make them suffer a lifetime’s worth of torment.

As he cradles her lifeless body, his tears seem never ending. She weighs so little now, even less than she did when he first carried her home. If she hadn’t been murdered, she would have died of starvation before too long. If she’d only returned to him, he would have given her food. He would have given her anything. She could have taken his castle, his home, and he would have smiled as she did, thankful that she wasn’t going to die on the streets. But she didn’t. She told him that he’d never see her again. She always keeps her promises to him, no matter how much it hurts her.

When he’s done sobbing, Alucard takes her body, and begins to walk back to the castle. He’s going to give the woman he loves a proper burial, amongst the flowers she once so loved.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When Alucard jumps up in bed, his whole body is shaking, his chest convulsing with grief. He failed her. He couldn’t save her. She trusts him to keep her safe, and he failed.

Alucard has to run to the toilet then, the image of her lifeless body causing him to throw up violently. He’s never had a nightmare that’s shaken him like this. It chills him down to his very core, the thought of her dying. It’s easy to see now why his father, as strong as he was, succumbed to his grief so easily. It is a powerful emotion, too raw and vivid to ever fade away. Will he be driven to a similar madness if this dream ever comes to pass?

It’s her starvation that’s done this. And that stupid binder. Watching her prepare to become the same withered husk that she once was kills him. He’s tried everything he can to feed her, but she keeps refusing him. Soon, she’ll start to get frail, and small, and everything he’s done to save her will mean nothing. It’ll have all been a way to delay her death, rather than prevent it. What if she kills herself unintentionally via starvation?

He should go to her now. Check on her. As paranoid as it sounds, he has to make sure she hasn’t fled in the middle of the night to spare herself the pain of a goodbye.

As he makes his way to her room, Alucard finally becomes aware of the storm raging outside. Perhaps that contributed to his bad dreams? He always finds that sleeping is harder when the weather is like this. In some ways though, he finds it comforting tonight. Surely she would not leave in the middle of a storm? Unless it wasn’t storming when she left, and she ended up getting caught in the downpour? If that’s the case, maybe just this once he should ignore her wishes and search for her. What if she ends up succumbing to pneumonia or something? She would not begrudge him one more night of knowing she’s safe, would she? If he promised to let her go on her way again when the weather has cleared?

By the time he makes it to her bedroom, Alucard is so overcome with fear that he doesn’t bother knocking. He lets himself into her room, his heart stopping when he sees her vacant bed. She’s gone. She’s really gone. He has to find her. She won’t last in a storm. He needs to leave right now, bring her home. Keep her safe!

That’s when he hears a faint sniffle coming from the corner of the room.

Curious, Alucard moves towards the source of the noise, and is equal parts relieved and concerned when he sees her, curled up in the corner, tears streaming down her cheeks. Did the thunder wake her? She’s never mentioned being afraid of such a thing, but there hasn’t been a single storm here since she arrived, unless he was to count the storm of emotions inside himself.

When she notices him, the young woman’s mouth almost turns up into a smile, her sadness the only thing keeping it from doing so. ‘Alucard? What are you doing here?’ Oh dear. That’s a point. He has neglected to come up with a suitable excuse. What should he tell her? The truth of his bad dream? Or would that only make her worse?

As he wishes to soothe rather than alarm, Alucard comes up with what he thinks is a suitable excuse. ‘The storm woke me up. I wanted to check on you, make sure you were still sleeping. That’s why I entered without knocking.’ While it’s technically only half the truth, it’s better than an outright lie. It seems that his worrying was justified in any case, if her soft cries are any indication.

She sniffles, trying to stop herself from crying. ‘It woke me up too, I think. I’m okay though. Thank you for checking on me.’ A particularly loud clap of thunder hits then, and she whimpers, sounding like a puppy that’s just been stepped on.

Alucard sighs, seeing right through her attempt at bravery. ‘It’s okay to be afraid of things. You know this, yes? Everyone has a fear of something. Even I have things that I’m afraid of.’ Like losing you, he desperately wants to add.

She seems to calm down at that, looking at him with her puffy red eyes. ‘You are? Like what?’ Oh dear. What can he tell her without making her feel worse, or revealing his own secret feelings?

Knowing how much she seems to enjoy hearing about his past, he opts to tell her a story from his childhood. ‘When I was a very small boy, I was laying in bed one night, when these horrible shadows started coming closer and closer to my bed. I was so frightened that I ran as fast as my little legs could carry me into my parent’s bedroom. When I told them about it, my father ordered me and my mother to wait on the bed while he checked it out.’

Her eyes grow wide, enraptured by his story. ‘What was it? A night creature?’

Alucard chuckles. ‘My father walked back into the room a few moments later, a smile on his face, carrying a small spider in a jar. The shadows I saw were just it trying to spin a web. He told me to go back to bed, but I was still shaking. That’s when mother told me I could stay with them that night, just to calm me down. Father accused her of spoiling me, but that didn’t stop them both cuddling me until I fell asleep.’ That was one of the few times Alucard can recall the three of them together like that. As much as he might have loved his son, Dracula was never one for cuddles.

She seems to think for a moment, before her lip starts to wobble. ‘Would it be selfish of me to ask for a hug? I’m terrified of storms. They bring back a lot of bad memories.’ That’s hardly surprising. It can’t be easy for her, being homeless during a storm. He can’t imagine she sleeps through them easily.

Instead of a hug, Alucard scoops her into his arms, pleased when she immediately hugs her face into him. She always trusts him so much, never questioning his motives. Even when he sets her down on the bed and crawls on next to her, she never asks him why. She knows that he’s just doing as she asked, in as comfortable a way as he can manage.

As he hugs her close, he notices that she’s clinging on tightly to something. It looks like… a doll. She made herself a doll. Has she truly been this lonely here that she felt the need to make herself a friend? Maybe her leaving is for the best in many ways then. He must clearly be terrible company if she’s making a fake friend.

Shifting on the bed as he manages to grab some covers for them both, he notices that the doll has the same hair colour as him. Is it possible that she made a doll of him to keep her company when he’s not around? Is that why she’s hugging it so tightly? Was she imagining that she was holding him instead?

No, it can’t be. He’s overthinking it. The hair will probably look totally different, come morning.

Morning is something they’ll both be seeing soon enough; it takes neither of them very long to slip into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, but what are they going to do? Who's going to break first?
> 
> ... Find out soon, in the following chapters 
> 
> Thanks to you all again for sticking with us, and we hope to see y'all next chapter ^.^


	23. Amendment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; sads :'(
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

Well, it’s finally time. Time for you to leave your life of comfort and luxury behind, and say farewell to the man you love.

After your nightmare, leaving had been an easy decision, even if waking up to Alucard snuggling you did give you pause for a few moments. If you stay, they’ll only get worse. You just need to get this over with quickly so you can move on. Even if leaving is going to be the most painful thing you’ll ever do, it needs to be done. You gave Alucard your word, and you’re sticking to it.

That’s why you’re dressed up like a man once more, ready to take your leave. All you have to do is give Alucard his gifts, and you’re gone. You’re going to leave this place, and never look back, no matter how much your heart yearns to be here with him…

As you make a few final adjustments, you find yourself looking at your reflection in a mirror. You’ve definitely lost a small bit of weight over the last few days, but you look healthier than you did when you came here. Your binder right now is making your chest ache like never before, probably because there’s more of you to conceal now. With the way you’ve filled out, you definitely look more female than you once did, but the looseness of your outfit should cover that. All the gifts that Alucard has given you are laid out neatly on the bed, ready for him to put into storage or whatever he plans. The only thing of yours not visible (unless you count the poems, hastily hidden in with the spare fabric) is the doll, which you’ve hidden in the bed; you’d rather he found out about the truth about that once you’re gone. He did see it briefly the night of the storm, but you’d hidden it before he woke, and when asked about it, you’d told him that it was just a random and generic person. It’s made in no one’s likeness. 

The one possession you have taken is sitting in your pocket; an apple seed, the one thing you had on you when you came. You’re planning to bury it in the woods as you go, burying your feelings for Alucard alongside it.

The door opens then, and Alucard walks in, a tray of food in his hands. He’s still trying to feed you? After you’ve made it clear that you’re not going to eat?

When he sees you standing in your disguise, Alucard places the tray on the side table, sighing heavily. ‘I take it this is farewell, then?’ Why does he have to frown at you like that? Shouldn’t he be happy about this? He’s finally getting his life back!

You nod, more to convince yourself than him. ‘Yeah. You can finally have your spare room back. I’ve left all of my- your- belongings on the bed as you can see. I won’t be needing them, after all.’ Unless he was to let you stay, but he wouldn’t. He won’t ask you, and you can’t bring yourself to ask him for fear of his inevitable rejection.

Alucard looks at the bed, frowning. ‘They are yours. They were gifts, from me to you.’ Why does he have to put it like that? You’d take it all with you, if you only could!

Speaking gifts however… ‘I have something for you. A thank you, for everything you’ve done.’ And a small thing to remember you by. Not that he’d even want to remember you. You’ve been barely more than an inconvenience to him, despite his offer of friendship.

As you walk around to retrieve the dolls, Alucard watches you, a look of surprise on his face. ‘You don’t have to give me anything. I did not help you to be rewarded. I did it because… It was the right thing to do.’ Right by you perhaps, but maybe not by him. He’s given up so much for you. Why is he so shocked that you wish to give him something in return?

Well, if he really wants to reject them, he can do it now; pulling out the Trevor and Sypha dolls, you extend your arms, offering them to him. ‘Here. The ones you made are a little… bad, so I made you some new ones. I hope you like them.’ He’s out of luck if he doesn’t. Then again, you can still win him over with the third surprise doll.

Alucard chuckles, but he accepts the dolls, taking them from you so he can examine them. ‘I’ll admit that your skill in crafting such things is far beyond my own. I shall treasure them.’ He really likes them that much? This is wonderful!

Despite the sadness that has been heavy on your chest since you woke, you grin at him. ‘I’m so happy you like them. I wasn’t sure if you would. There is…’ You take a deep breath, more nervous about this last doll than you were the others. ‘I made a third one too. I’m sorry if you think this is too much, but I really wanted you to have something special. Please don’t be upset with me over this.’ With that, you pull out the doll you made of his mother, and present it to him with trembling hands.

For a long while, Alucard stares at the doll, almost as if he’s trying to process what he’s seeing. Oh dear. This was a mistake. It’s wholly inappropriate. Maybe you should hide it, retract your gift? The way he’s looking at it, you know he must surely be angry with you, or shocked at your level of inconsiderate behaviour.

Finally, Alucard reaches for the doll, his hand trembling just as much as your own. ‘I… This is… You…’ He takes it, staring at it again before speaking again. ‘I wish you luck with the rest of your life. It’s been nice knowing you.’ With that, he nods his head, rushing out of the room with his gifts in his arms.

His harsh words bring you to tears. No matter how unlikely the chance was, there was a least a tiny part of you that wanted him to like the gifts so much that he’d ask you to stay. At the very least, you were hoping that he would say a proper goodbye. A final hug even, one last moment of contact for you to remember him by…

But no. He’s gone now. Even if you’re both still in the castle at this moment in time, you know you won’t be seeing him again. This is it. That was your final moment with Alucard, and it was over even faster than the very first. This wonderful dream is over, and now you must step back into cold reality.

Waiting for a few moments so you can be certain you won’t bump into Alucard, you leave your room for a final time, ignoring your breakfast as you start to make your way through the now-familiar halls of the castle. 

As you pass by certain rooms, memories start to flood your mind. You remember being so weak and wounded that Alucard had to carry you everywhere. You remember cutting your hand open on your way back from a trip to the toilet, and how Alucard had bandaged it with care. More than anything, you remember how he carried you back to your room that day you went into town, offering you comfort as you shook from fear. Even if you’re no longer afraid, you wish he was here to hold you like that again. One more time. Just one more moment, safe in the arms of the man you love. Even if he could never love someone like you, if you were in his arms again, you could almost convince yourself that he does. If Alucard ever does fall for someone, they’ll be the luckiest person in the world. You can’t imagine how it must feel, being loved by a man as kind and as gentle as the honeyed angel that saved your life. Still, at least you had his friendship, even if for a little while.

You’re dawdling now, but you can’t help it. There’s still that one part of you that thinks if you walk slowly enough, Alucard will change his mind, and he’ll stop you. That’s what would happen in one of those fairytales you’ve read. The handsome prince would come and sweep his princess off her feet, and tell her that he wants her to stay with him forever. It’s a shame things like that don’t happen in reality. Besides, while Alucard could easily be mistaken for a prince, no one could ever mistake you for royalty. A more realistic scenario would be a king telling a local peasant that he would like her to stay on as his maid. 

As much as you love Alucard, if servitude was your chance to stay here, you would take it.

Not even that is possible now though; you’re at the front door, and Alucard hasn’t followed you. So much for fairytales, indeed.

With a final glance at the castle you’ve come to think of as your home, you step out back into the real word, your promise to Alucard the only thing on your mind.

Once again, you are alone in this world. It is time to return to your old way of life.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard can hear the front door to the castle open, and he has to fight to urge to wail with grief. She’s gone now. The woman he loves is forever gone from his life, the memories of her all he has to cling onto.

Well, that and these dolls, her final gift to him. 

As he sits on his bed examining them, Alucard can’t help but think that he would trade them in for one last moment with her. He should have begged her on his hands and knees not to leave, but he couldn’t. Instead, he walked right out of her room like a coward, denying them both a proper goodbye. He’s a fool, and an idiot, and he never deserved to have someone like her in his life anyway. Even if she never grew to love him as he loves her, having her in his life would have been enough. Just knowing that she was safe would have been enough to satisfy his aching heart. But instead, he let her leave. He’s practically issued her a death sentence by doing nothing.

No. It was her choice. If she really wanted to stay, she would have asked. She knows she could have asked him, and he would have agreed.

Alucard picks up the Trevor doll, mimicking his friend’s voice with practised ease. ‘No, she doesn’t, because you’re a miserable git with constipated emotions. She probably thinks you’re throwing a party right now because you finally have your castle back.’ Carefully, he places the doll aside, glaring at it. Trust Trevor to be so rude.

He examines Sypha next, her voice also one he can do with ease. ‘I hate to admit this, but Trevor is right. How can you expect her to know that your feelings have changed if you haven’t told her? You are a dreadful coward, and if you can’t work up the courage to tell her how you feel, maybe you deserve to be alone.’ This doll can go and sit in timeout with Trevor. Have his friends always been so harsh and unreasonable?

Finally, he looks to his mother, her voice soft as he attempts to recall what it sounded like. ‘Adrian, my son, look at yourself. You’re sitting alone in your bedroom talking to dolls while the woman you love leaves your life forever. I’ve never been one for forcing you to take a certain path, but you’re being a fool. Go after her. Make it clear that she can stay if she wants to. Don’t sit alone in your room forever assuming this was the right thing to do. Give her a clear choice. She deserves to know that she has the chance to live a safe and comfortable life.’ His hands cling tightly to the doll, wishing that his mother really was here to give him real advice, rather than him trying to assume what she would tell him…

The next voice that leaves his mouth is his own. ‘My god, I am making a terrible mistake.’ With that, he stands, leaving all three dolls on the bed as he rushes through the castle.

It can’t end like this. He won’t let it. He’s going to find her, and ask her to come home. No matter how she feels about him, she deserves a better life, and she has that here. She has food, and shelter, and a warm bed. She’s better off with him here, and heaven knows he’s better in every single way when she’s with him. He needs to do this now, or it’ll be the biggest mistake of his life.

Leaving the castle, Alucard manages to pick up a trace of her scent in the wind, and immediately seeks her out, hoping that he’s not too late to change her mind.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

You only make it as far as the stream before you fall to your knees in grief.

Just seeing this place reminds you so much of the first time you met Alucard all those months ago. Kneeling by the water again, you can almost feel his hand on your neck, face hovering just above the water as he prepared to kill a trespasser on his land. As scared as you were back then, you’d give anything to be back in that moment, because that would mean having Alucard beside you again. Even if you couldn’t convince him to spare you, you would accept that. At least it would be quick, and even if he didn’t remember you, you’d know fully well that you were dying at the hands of someone you love.

Without thinking, you take the apple seed out of your pocket, staring at it. As much as you want to plant this, to allow new life to spring forth from your relentless heartbreak, it doesn’t seem right. Your feelings for Alucard should have never bloomed, just as this seed will probably never bloom even if you did plant it. If you’re going to get rid of this seed to sever your ties with him, you should throw it in the stream. That way, the water will wash away the seed just as time will wash away your memories. Besides, what better place to say goodbye than the place it all started out?

Before you have time to change your mind, you reach your hand out, and drop the seed into the stream, watching the ripples in the water as it sinks to the bottom. ‘Goodbye, Alucard.’ You whisper under your breath, your tears falling in after the seed. It feels as if your whole world is falling apart, and if the ache in your chest is any indication, it might be doing just that. If nothing else, you know for a fact that you’re never going to feel whole again. Alucard has become such an important part of you, and now that part is gone forever.

After what feels like hours, your tears finally stop, and you gasp when the ripples stop and reveal Alucard’s reflection in the water.

You’re convinced for the longest moment that it’s only a figment of your imagination, before the unmistakable sound of Alucard’s voice proves you wrong. ‘There was something I forgot to ask you. Something important.’ You don’t have to look at him to know that he’s kneeling beside you now, his shoulder now lightly brushing against yours.

Still, you can’t bear to look at him, your promise now technically broken. ‘What was that?’ It’s not like it really matters now. You promised to leave his life, that he’d never see you again…

Placing his hand on your cheek, Alucard tilts your head towards him, forcing you to look into his eyes. ‘Do you really want to leave?’ What kind of stupid question is that?

Your tears return as if they’d never left, wetting Alucard’s hand in the process. ‘Of course I don’t want to leave. I want to stay, more than I’ve ever wanted anything before in my life. But I can’t. I gave you my word that once I was better, I’d leave and never return. I don’t want to break a promise. Not one that I made to you.’ More than anything, you just want Alucard to be happy. If leaving is what he wants you to do, then you’ll do it. You are doing it, or at least trying to.

Using his thumb to try and wipe away your tears, Alucard smiles. ‘Then come home, and you can make me a new promise. I… if you leave, I will miss you terribly. I’ve grown quite accustomed to living with someone, and I don’t much like the thought of returning to solitude. So, if you were to promise me that you’ll stay with me, until you decide that you are no longer happy, I would be more than willing to keep you with me for as long as you want.’ Does he really mean that? You can go back to the castle, and stay for as long as you want…

You fling yourself into Alucard’s chest, wrapping your arms around him. ‘I want to go home with you. I promise, I won’t leave you unless I feel truly unhappy.’ As if you could ever feel like that, living with him. He’s going to be stuck with you forever now, to the point where he’ll have to literally throw you out if he changes his mind.

Chuckling now, Alucard wraps his arms around you and stands, keeping your body tight against his chest. ‘Home it is, then. Although, I should probably mention there are a few more stipulations.’ Your heart stops at that. What kind of conditions apply to your return? Maybe he really is going to make you his servant now?

Taking in the fear in your eyes, Alucard rolls his. ‘I rather thought you were over being frightened of me. My further conditions are quite simple, and there are only two. Number one is no more skipping meals. You’ve become remarkably healthy of late, and I won’t see that ruined. Food will always be plentiful when you live with me, so there’s no need to grow accustomed to starvation. 

‘The second is I want you to destroy your binder. Rip it up, burn it, bury it. I don’t care, I want it gone. You should never have to hide who you are. Not from me. Those are my two conditions. Do we have an accord?’ That’s all? He just wants you to eat his food and live without a disguise?

If you weren’t already, you’d hug him for that. ‘Yeah, I can agree to that.’ Your stomach growls loudly. ‘I can wholeheartedly agree to the food, at least.’ Good thing you still have breakfast in your room, if Alucard hasn’t thrown it away.

Alucard hums. ‘I’ll have you back to three meals before you know it. Be careful, though. Break this condition, and I’ll have to feed you myself. In fact, I might just do that now. Those oats should still be plenty warm. You can change once we’re done. Then we can read together for a while, if you like? We won’t have much for lunch and dinner, but I would like your assistance with preparation. After that, the evening is yours. Or we can read more? I’m still working on the library, but-’ Throughout his speech, you’ve been staring up at Alucard, a stupid grin on your face. ‘Have I said something funny?’

You smile wide, before snuggling into his chest. ‘I’m just so happy that I get to stay.’ As hard as it can be living with your secret feelings, at least you get to be around him. You wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Alucard’s grip gets tighter somehow, bringing your body closer. ‘Me, too.’ He whispers, and the two of you finally make it back home.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Looking down at the smiling woman in his arms, Alucard knows now that he was right, beyond a shadow of a doubt;

Letting her go would have been a mistake.

Even if his love for her never blossoms beyond friendship, having her with him is enough.

As long as she is happy, he knows that he will be too. After all, how can he look at her smile and be anything less than joyful?

Now he just needs to work on keeping that smile in his life for as long as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, with that now sorted, what is left? 
> 
> ... Time to get those feelings out!
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and see you next chapter for some celebrations! :D


	24. Bella Notte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; none :) 
> 
> Enjoy ^.^
> 
> Update; see note at bottom

With your place in the castle now secure, life here is better than ever. Not having to worry about your inevitable departure means that you can now settle in properly, and develop a proper routine. After all, if you’re going to be staying here, it’s only fair that you take on more of the household responsibilities. While the subject of chores has never been mentioned before, you’d made a point of bringing it up with Alucard a few days after he brought you home. He’s agreed to work something out with you, and you’re grateful for that; if this is your home, you want to help take care of it.

The need to help out is more pressing than ever now, with your body finally recovering from your period of starvation. For the first week or so, Alucard had insisted on feeding you some of your meals, his way of warning you what’ll happen if you ever do something so foolish as that again. To be honest though, you almost like it when he feeds you. It only serves to remind you how he saved your life, fed you when you were far too weak to feed yourself. In fairness, after a month of starvation, you had been feeling pretty weak again. Not now though. Not after two weeks back on regular meals. While he did start out with smaller portions at first, Alucard has managed to get you back on the normal sized portions fast, and you’re glad. Anything that means you get to enjoy more of his cooking!

Cooking which he has once again provided tonight, the dish setting your tastebuds alight with joy. It still amazes you just what Alucard can produce with only a handful of different ingredients. As happy as you are to help with meals, you don’t think you want to take this particular task from him, unless he tells you he wants a break. That being said, the chicken you’d cooked for Trevor and Sypha’s visit did turn out quite well…

Exhaling loudly, you place your fork on your empty plate, patting your stomach for further emphasis. ‘Incredible as always, Alucard. I regret ever turning down food from you.’ At least you’ll never turn it down again, unless you truly don’t like it. That doesn’t seem like it’s going to be an issue you run into often, though.

Alucard smiles, a little sad. ‘I fear I’m partially to blame for that. I should have made it clear that this is your home sooner. Still, at least we are both aware of where we stand now.’ You’re grateful for that, too. Now the only thing you have to worry about is keeping your love for him a secret, so you don’t ruin this newfound peace between you.

You’re about to stand and clear away the plates, but Alucard beats you to it, placing his hand over yours to still your movements. ‘Allow me. I need to fetch something anyway. That is, unless you wish to retire early this evening?’ So, whatever he’s getting is an after dinner treat then? That sounds nice. It’ll be even nicer if it’s something sweet.

You grin up at him, and he pauses a moment to listen to your answer. ‘You have me too curious to sleep now. Besides, I like chatting with you. It’s far better than sleep.’ Unless that sleep involves cuddling him; then nothing is better than sleep!

Dumping the plates in the sink, Alucard’s smile finally loses its sadness. ‘On that, we are in total agreement. I rather spend my evenings in your company. I’ll be back in a moment, then.’ With that, he heads through a door you’ve never been through before, although you have wondered what it could be. It’s not the pantry, so that probably rules out more food. Is it a game, perhaps? You have heard that some people play games after dinner. That would be fun, as long as it’s not a test of knowledge or something; Alucard would beat you at that without even trying, even if you have learnt a lot of things since learning how to read.

It doesn’t take long for Alucard to return, a bottle of something in his hands. Oh, that looks like wine! You’ve never had the chance to try wine before, but you’ve heard how much other people love it. This is one more exciting experience Alucard is going to introduce you to!

Your excitement must show, because Alucard is smiling fondly as he fetches two glasses, placing them onto the table before attacking the top of the bottle with a weird metal thing. ‘A little late I know, but I thought we might celebrate your staying here properly tonight. I might have opened a bottle that first night, had someone not starved herself to the point I thought it a bad idea.’ Even if you were still faint and hurting from a lack of food, you would have tried it. This kind of opportunity is one you’re only getting because Alucard is incredibly generous when it comes to indulging you.

Pouring you both a rather generous glass, Alucard hands you one of your own, before taking a seat and raising his glass aloft. ‘I would like to propose a toast, if you shall indulge me. Here’s to officially living together, for as long as you can stand me.’ He brings his glass close to yours, and you think you know what to do, but you’re not certain…

Deciding to risk it, you clink your glass against his, echoing his sentiment. ‘To living together!’ He takes a sip of his wine then, and you do the same, trying not to wince as the taste hits your tongue. It’s so bitter! This is the drink everyone raves about? As bad as it sounds, you think you prefer water!

With a contented sigh, Alucard places his glass back on the table. ‘Not bad. A little sharp maybe, but decent enough. What do you think?’ Oh no, what do you tell him? Will he be upset if you don’t like it? Disappointed? 

Against your better judgement, you down the entire glass, trying your best to ignore the flavour. ‘It’s very nice, Alucard. Thank you for sharing it with me.’ Your head is starting to feel a little dizzy after that, probably due to tilting your head back in an attempt to drink it faster.

Alucard stares at you with wide eyes for a moment, before chuckling again. ‘There isn’t a one glass limit. Here, have some more if you like.’ He fills your glass again then, and you start to panic. Still, you think you can make it through another glass. It is a celebration, after all. You just wish wine was sweeter…

Picking your glass up again, you pause before drinking anymore, wanting to get a conversation going to distract yourself. ‘Did you drink wine often before I came here?’ You haven’t seen him drink wine before, but you weren’t with him for any meals in the early days of your stay. Perhaps he used to drink while you were sitting alone in your room.

Alucard takes a few long sips of wine, thinking. ‘Yes, I suppose I did. I often had a glass with dinner. This is the first time I’ve had a glass since your arrival, however. I didn’t want to compromise my ability to take care of you in any way, even if a glass of wine or two barely affects my cognition.’ Does he mean it takes a lot to get a vampire drunk? That’s interesting. Unless… could a vampire get drunk if he drank the blood of a drunk man? 

You decide to ask Alucard that same question before chugging down half your glass this time, and he seems to give it some serious thought. ‘I’ve never fed from a drunk before, so I have no idea. It isn’t often I have company to drink with. I think the last time I did was with... ‘ With? With whom? Presumably not Trevor and Sypha, if he’s being secretive.

Finishing your wine, you lean over, placing a hand on his shoulder. ‘Whatever it is, you can tell me. It’s not like I’m about to run off with all your secrets. You can trust me.’ Even if the world is a little wobbly right now, one thing is certain; you’d never do anything to hurt or upset Alucard. Surely he knows that?

Finishing his wine, Alucard pours you both another glass, before taking your hand from his shoulder and placing it on the table. ‘It’s not a matter of trust. Not exactly. If I had no trust in you, I would never have allowed you to stay. It’s just a difficult thing to speak of, that’s all. It’s no reflection on how I feel about you.’ Awww, he really does trust you! That’s so amazing! It makes you want to crawl onto his lap and give him a big hug!

Taking a smaller sip of wine, you settle back into your chair. ‘I understand. If you ever do want to talk about it, my ears are going nowhere. Unless you have an ear demon living in the castle I don’t know about?’ Do such things even exist? What if Dracula hid an army of them in one of the spare rooms, waiting to unleash chaos upon Wallachia?

Alucard raises his brow. ‘’Ear demons’? I think you ought to slow down on your wine. No, the only demons in this castle are my own. I believe you’ve already met two of them.’ Two… two of them… Oh, that’s right.

You gesture vaguely in the direction of the front door. ‘I take it you mean those bodies, and not Trevor and Sypha?’ Then again, it wouldn’t surprise you if Alucard called them demons as some kind of nickname.

Alucard’s laugh is as bitter as the wine. ‘Yes, that’s them. In life, they were Taka and Sumi, and I had thought them friends. Perhaps they were, for a time. Until they did what they did…’ He looks down at the scars on his wrists, and a few pieces fall into place; they are the people he misplaced his faith in.

You can’t help but reach out to him again, tracing his wrist lightly. ‘They hurt you. Friends don’t do that. I could never hurt you like that.’ You’d sooner kill anyone who tried.

With his free hand, Alucard takes another long sip of wine, bracing himself. ‘I know. You are not like them. I regret how long it took me to see that. They had no trust in me, you see. They thought that I was lying to them, that all I tried to do for them was some kind of trick. One night, they came into my bedroom. I had been concerned at first that they’d heard an intruder or the like. I’ll spare you the finer details, but they seduced me. Then when I was at my most vulnerable, they sprung their trap. I tried to reason with them, but they would not listen. I was forced to kill them in order to save myself.’ They… they did… how could they…?

All the concern you have starts to give way to anger. ‘That’s evil! How could they do something so vile, to you of all people?! You’re so good, and kind, and you’ve never done anything to hurt me. You’re nice just because it’s the right thing to do, and you care so deeply for others, and... ‘ You take another sip of wine to calm yourself, this time screwing your face up. ‘... This wine isn’t like you. It’s all bitter. You’re not bitter, you’re sweet. I wish they made wine like you. Then I’d drink it forever. Because I want to stay with you forever because you’re a pure angel, and I’m glad those people can’t hurt you ever again because you’re too precious to me!’ Nobody gets to hurt Alucard ever again. The man you love will never experience pain like that again for as long as you live!

Finishing his wine, Alucard smiles, stroking your hair affectionately. ‘I think you might be a little drunk, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same. As for the wine, I think I have something you might like.’ With that, he’s gone again, back through the mystery door. Does he have honey down there with his wine? Is he going to mix the two together? That’s so clever! Trust him to be such a clever man!

Instead of coming back with honey, Alucard returns with a new bottle of wine, grabbing a new glass from the cupboard before sitting back down and pouring the new wine into the glass. ‘Here, try this one.’ Curious, you sip it, and this time you don’t make a face; it’s so much sweeter!

You giggle with delight, the taste already overpowering the last of the other wine. ‘Still not as sweet as you are, but lots better. I like this wine a lot.’ Now you think you understand why people like it so much. They must have tried this wine instead.

To your surprise, Alucard grabs your previous glass, taking a sip of it. ‘I’ll remember that in future. Only the sweetest wine for my sweet friend.’ When he says things like that, it can be so hard to hold back your feelings for him. Then again, why should you? Why is keeping quiet important again?

As Alucard drinks from your old glass again, a thought occurs to you. ‘You know, with you drinking out of my old glass, it’s almost like we’re indirectly kissing.’ Alucard chokes on the wine a little, and you giggle. It’s funny to see a man as composed as him make a slip up like that!

Before he can comment, you think of something else, your thoughts spewing forth before you can stop them. ‘You know, that accidental kiss we had was my first. Nobody else has ever touched their lips against mine before.’ Not that people haven’t tried. At least, you think they have. It’s hard to remember that right now.

Alucard frowns at your confession. ‘I’m so terribly sorry. I had not intended to take such a thing from you.’ Of course he hadn’t. Why would he? You know you’re not good enough for him.

After another gulp of wine, you wave his apology away with your hand. ‘Don’t be. I’m glad you took it. I would have given it to you anyway. I just wish it had been a proper kiss. I think you’d be an amazing kisser. Your lips always look so soft and inviting. It’s just like that time you kissed my palm, and I started to wonder how it would feel if you kissed the rest of me, too. Did my lips feel nice, too?’ He probably didn’t like them. Oh no, what if they reminded him of those people outside? You might have upset him without even realising it!

Alucard’s whole face turns as red as the wine in his glass, but he gives you an answer. ‘You have nice lips. I will admit that.’ Yes! He thinks you have nice lips! That’s a tiny victory for you, but it’s still a victory. Maybe he might fall for you based on your lips alone? 

Unless… ‘Do you think I’m pretty, Alucard?’ Asking him directly like this is asking for disappointment, but you still have to know. At least the alcohol might soften the blow.

As if such a thing was possible, Alucard grows even redder. ‘I’m not certain that I’m comfortable answering that question.’ You knew it. He thinks you’re ugly! Why would he ever think you beautiful?

When you pout, Alucard swallows hard, before sighing. ‘Alright, do you really want to know what I think? I’ll tell you the truth, but only because I don’t think you’ll remember anything come morning.’ Finally! Now you’ll know how he feels once and for all.

Downing your wine once again, you help yourself to more, spilling a little on the table. ‘Hold nothing back. I want to hear the truth.’ You can take it. You need to know just how unattracted he is to you, to extinguish that glimmer of hope permanently. Even if he’s right, and you don’t remember in the morning.

With a small voice, and his eyes looking deep into your own, Alucard delivers his verdict. ‘I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of looking at. Your smile makes even the cloudiest of skies brighter, and that little giggle is the only reason I leave bed some mornings. You’re a treasure, and you shine brighter in my eyes than even the finest of gemstones.’ He… What? He thinks you’re that beautiful?

Your face heats up, tears pricking in your eyes. ‘You’re just saying that because I’m drunk. Why would someone as beautiful as you ever see any in me? I can’t hold a candle to most women…’ 

Alucard frowns then, and you brace yourself for him to correct his statement. ‘Can’t hold a candle? Do you really not see that your beauty is beyond comparison? What makes you think that you’re not? Is it your scars? Because let me tell you right now that in some ways, I find them beautiful. They’re a symbol of how far you have come. You’re no longer the half-dead young man I rescued from the stream. Like a flower, I have watched you bloom into a wonderful woman right in front of my eyes. You are a true beauty, and I will not allow you to think any differently.’ You swear that your heart stopped for a moment there. He’s being so kind. His words make your heart soar. You’re beautiful. He really said you’re beautiful!

Your answering smile makes your cheeks ache, but you don’t care, too busy letting his words sink in. ‘I suppose I have changed a lot. I’m a lot fuller than I was. Even my breasts have gotten bigger! Just look at them now.’ You grab hold of them with glee, given them a firm squeeze. ‘They were so sore when I put the binding back on. They ached like mad for hours even once I was dressed like a woman again. Do you think they’re bigger? Would you like to touch them?’ You reach out for him then, ready and willing to grab his hands and let him judge your chest for himself.

Before you can grab them, Alucard hides his hands behind his back, spoiling your plans. ‘I think you may have had too much wine. It might be time to get you to bed.’ He wants to take you to bed? This is so sudden, but if he wants you…

You nod enthusiastically. ‘Yes, take me to bed! I don’t think I’m that drunk though. Don’t drunk people get hot? I’m not that hot. If I was, I’d be trying to strip off. Unless you want me to strip off now?’ It would save a lot of time. Maybe you will strip off now!

The moment you stand up, your legs buckle, but Alucard is there in an instant, catching you in his strong arms before addressing you. ‘No stripping, please. It’s far too cold for that. Come on, I’ll carry you to bed.’ You’re scooped up by him in an instant, and he makes his way out of the kitchen, heading for your bedroom.

You snuggle into his chest as always, only this time, you bring a hand up to his chest, pawing at his shirt. ‘I love it when you hold me close like this. You’re so firm, and beautiful. Can you take your shirt off in bed? I know you probably just want to pull your trousers down and take me, but I would like to see you.’ Unless he’s self-conscious about his scar. You wouldn’t blame him for that. But if he’s taking off your dress and seeing yours, you want to see his.

Alucard almost trips up, despite being on a nearly flat surface. ‘We’re not… I’m taking you to bed so you can sleep. Nothing else.’ But, but… He doesn’t want you?

You pout again, disappointed. ‘You don’t want to have sex with me? But I thought you said I was beautiful? Is it because of them? I won’t hurt you, I promise. You can even tie me up so I can’t hurt you.’ Anything to make him comfortable. You don’t want him to think there’s even a chance of you hurting him.

Nearly at your bedroom, Alucard groans. ‘That’s not… You have no idea how wrong you are. In fact you’ve had that much wine I’m not sure you know much of anything at the moment. You need to go to bed and sleep this off. You’d never say any of this if you were sober.’ Yes you would! You’d say all of this and more!

As soon as you make it to your room, Alucard drops you on your bed, and is about to leave before you grab him. ‘Adrian, please don’t leave me. I love you.’ Why isn’t he understanding that? Does he think you’d be this willing to bed anyone else?

Gently prying his fingers away, Alucard stands back far enough that you can’t grab him again. ‘Please don’t say that if you don’t mean it. You have no idea how much that hurts.’ With that, he’s gone, before you even have the chance to tell him that you meant every word.

Damn it. You’ve messed up. He was saying such kind things about you, and now you’ve messed it up. He’s going to be so upset in the morning. You only hope he can forgive you.

With your body still feeling all wobbly, getting changed into your nightdress is difficult, but you manage it. Next, you decide to fill the room with light, only one thing on your mind; if the real Alucard won’t accept your love, you can show the doll Alucard all about it instead!

Fishing out your stack of poems, you retrieve doll Alucard from the depths of your covers and start showing them to him, picking out a few favourites. You’ve amassed quite a collection of them since your first attempt, ranging from ‘dreadfully awful’ to ‘might make Alucard smile’. Not that it matters. He’s not interested, anyway.

After a while, you grow too tired to keep reading, and end up falling asleep, the doll of Alucard clenched firmly in your hand.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard waits outside of her bedroom for what feels like hours, waiting for her to fall asleep. He wants to make sure that the alcohol hasn’t affected her too much, but he can’t examine her like she is. Not with her tempting him like that.

She’s drunk. So drunk. Far drunker than she should be, having only had about four glasses of wine. Or was it five? Why didn’t he put a stop to it? It should have been clear early on that she can’t handle it. Asking him questions about his past is nothing new, but all that stuff she was saying about him…

If anything could help him forget about Taka and Sumi, it’s her words. Even in her drunken state, she had been of more comfort to him than Trevor and Sypha had been when he’d privately told him about his ordeal during their visit. The way she offered to let herself be tied up when she thought he wanted to have sex… 

That shouldn’t make him ache for her more, but it does. The very idea that she would risk her own enjoyment for his sake, only asking to see his chest in return… But he wouldn’t want her like that. Well, maybe once, when they’ve been together a while. For their first time though. He’d want her hands all over him. He’d want her to explore every inch of him as he tried his hardest to make her feel every kind of pleasure possible. He may have stolen her first kiss- something he’ll never forgive himself for- but he’d make her first night with him so special she’d never forget it.

It doesn’t matter now though. That’s never going to happen. She was only saying those things because she’s drunk. She even said his real name. That’s what hurts the most. If she was sober, and she said that, then he’d have done anything. He would be in there right now, with the lips she finds so soft kissing every inch of her body.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he hears the soft snore she always does when she’s deep in sleep. Good. He can see to her now, then.

As he walks in, Alucard notices her passed out on the bed, mercifully wearing her nightgown. He’d been half concerned she would have passed out naked, a much more awkward scenario for both of them.

After making sure that her pulse and breathing are no more irregular than they should be, Alucard makes a start on tidying up the mess she’s made. She seems to be clutching that doll again, the one that she apparently based on nobody. Yet seeing it now, in a better light, he’s certain that’s a lie. It looks just like him. It’s even wearing clothing just like his own, a little red scar poking out from its shirt. It really is him. It’s so sweet to know that no matter what, it’s always him that she seeks for comfort, in one form or another.

Deciding that he can’t bear to take away that comfort, he focuses instead on the paper. There’s no sign of any ink, so this must all be things she’s written in the past. It’s odd that he’s never seen them before. She’s usually so forthcoming about the things she writes. He loves it so much when she comes to him, a piece of paper clutched nervously in her hand, and tells him that she’s written a poem about trees or something. 

Whatever these are, they must be private. He shouldn’t read these. He shouldn’t. He should just put them away, respect her privacy.

He’s about to do just that, when a single word catches his eye; honey. 

That can’t… does she mean him? Or does she mean actual honey?

Just one. He needs to know. He’ll read it, but just this one;

Hair like honey,  
Heart like gold,  
Smiles richer than money,  
Hands I want to hold.

… What? No, it can’t be. She doesn’t mean… Does she?

One more. Just one. Maybe two, just to be safe.

Reading through the poems one by one, a theme becomes immediately clear; they’re all about him. A collection of love poems, all about him.

A tear falls from Alucard’s eye. ‘She meant it. Every word. She loves me back.’ If she didn’t need sleep, he’d wake her up right now and tell her. Confess everything.

As it is, he has time. Time to woo her. After all, he should do this right. Make it special for her. She deserves that. He’ll woo her, and tell her all the things he told her tonight, but make sure she knows that he means it. Means every word. After all, what does he have to lose? Don’t these poems all but ensure that she won’t reject him? He may have been content with friendship, but now… There’s a chance he can have her love, and he’ll take it. 

For now, he’ll just put these to one side, and tuck her into bed properly. 

Now that she’s safe and comfortable, Alucard has a plan. He’s going out tonight, and when she wakes up tomorrow, she’s going to be in for a big surprise.

If he’s doing this, he’s going to do it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, brace yourselves...
> 
> ... Because we're going on hiatus! 
> 
> I jest ;) See you soon, and thanks for reading ^.^
> 
> Update: In regards, we are taking the day off because a certain someone chose to beat Bloodstained way past her bedtime. Will keep you posted ;)
> 
> Updated update; I regret NOTHING


	25. Stand By You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> ... So, remember that joke I made about hiatus? Guess who was almost immediately struck down with illness (and who stayed up til 5am one night playing Bloodstained)?
> 
> In light of this, we're making a new schedule, because daily is a bit difficult. So, we should now be updating on Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays. We'll of course keep you updated if anything changes ^.^
> 
> For now, have some fluff :3

Waking up hurts.

It feels like someone has smashed a brick into your skull, and you swear you must have swallowed salt or something, with your mouth as dry as it is. What happened last night? You barely recall. One moment you were eating dinner, and the next…

Oh, that’s right. The wine. Alucard brought out a bottle of wine. No, wait, two bottles of wine, because the first one was far too bitter for you. So what you’re feeling is a hangover, then? That thing people get when they drink too much? Honestly, if this is the price you have to pay for drinking, you think you’ll stay sober for the rest of your life.

Sitting up in bed with a great deal of effort, you realise you’re in your nightgown. Did you change yourself, or was it Alucard? You’d like to think it was you. After all, that night where you’d soaked through a nightgown with blood, Alucard left you in it rather than changing you. If nothing else, you know he respects your personal boundaries.

Slowly becoming more aware of your surroundings, you see the little Alucard doll sitting beside you in bed, his button eyes somehow looking more alert than your own. You really hope Alucard didn’t notice him last night at any point. It’ll be hard to deny that he’s based off of the half-vampire if he did get a clear look.

As you breathe in heavily through your nose, an overpowering scent hits you. It smells like… Flowers?

Finally taking a look around properly, you wonder how you didn’t notice this the moment you woke up. The entire bedroom seems to be full of flowers, placed in a seemingly endless number of vases littered all across the room. When.. why...how? 

As these questions and more start to race through your mind, the door opens, and in walks Alucard, carrying your breakfast and a glass of water. ‘Good morning. How are you feeling this morning? A little worse for wear I would imagine, after last night.’ So you’re right. It was the wine! It all makes sense now.

You rub your eyes, half expecting the world to change afterwards, before realising that no amount of rubbing will make these flowers disappear. ‘Thirsty.’ Your throat cracks just from that statement alone, and you begin to fantasise about drinking the water in Alucard’s hand.

At your admission, Alucard gives you the water, which you begin to drink in slow yet steady sips. ‘Alcohol will do that. I’ve always found it odd that a drink can make you thirsty. Still, at least we have plenty of water here. The oats should help, too. I made sure to be liberal with the honey today. I know how much you love sweet things.’ Why is that bringing back so many memories? A ghost of a statement, blocked by…

Shit. You remember now, almost choking on your water as realisation hits.

Last night, you’d been very… forthcoming. You remember quite clearly Alucard told you the reason behind the bodies at the front door, and in return, you’d gushed over him, spilling all of your pride and admiration for the man out easily. You’re pretty sure you asked what he thinks of you too at one point, but you can’t for the life of you remember his response. It was probably some token platitude or another. After all, why would he admire you? A drunken fool, covered in scars and lacking any real beauty, is hardly a match for an angel like Alucard.

When you’re done with the water, you set it down to one side, finding only a small spot on the bedside table that isn’t home to a vase. ‘I appreciate it. I don’t think I should drink again anytime soon, though. Hangovers are horrible.’ You frown deeply, willing your headache to go so you can reclaim your memories.

Alucard chuckles, handing you breakfast. ‘You’ll be fine once the alcohol is gone. I will admit though, you’re an adorable drunk. I think we should share more evenings like that, relaxing and celebrating.’ Your cheeks grow warm at that. Adorable? You? He really means that?

Fighting the urge to ask if he does in fact mean that, you look down at your oats, only for your heart to skip a beat; he’s drizzled the honey on in the shape of a heart. That’s so… out of character. Come to think of it, he does seem upbeat today. Far more cheerful than his usual self. Is he drunk himself?

Instead of asking, you make a start on breakfast, watching Alucard as he heads over to your wardrobe. ‘Might I be allowed to choose a dress for you today? I thought we might go out and enjoy yourself for a while, go and sit out in the flower patch or something?’ What flower patch? There can’t be any left after he’s filled your bedroom with you.

Still, any time spent with Alucard is welcome. ‘Okay, sure. I’ll wear whatever you think is best.’ All of the dresses are so pretty anyway, it would be impossible for him to make a bad choice!

Still examining your dresses, Alucard hums in thought. ‘Be careful who you give that kind of permission to. Many would definitely abuse it. As it is, I feel as if I’ve abused you in a different way. It isn’t right that you only have secondhand clothing that pales in comparison to you. If you’re agreeable, we should go into town together soon. If we have a seamstress measure you up, then we can have some dresses made just for you. In fact, why stop there? I think you’re long overdue an entirely new wardrobe, one fit for a lady like you.’ Okay, he’s definitely still drunk. It’s quite concerning really.

Finishing your mouthful, you decide to voice your concerns. ‘Alucard, are you okay? You’re acting differently today. Did something happen last night?’ Other than you getting super soppy with him, of course…

For a moment, hope settles in your chest, before disappearing just as quickly as it came. It would be stupid of you to think that he’s doing all of this because he feels the same. He’s probably feeling guilty that you had such a poor reaction to the alcohol...

Alucard frowns, pulling out a dress from the wardrobe before setting it on the bed. ‘Do you not like the flowers? Are they too much?’ That all depends on his definition…

Sad that you’ve upset him, you shake your head. ‘They’re lovely, but I’m confused. Is there a special occasion I’m not aware of?’ It’s not your birthday. At least, you don’t think it is. Then again, it’s been so long since you celebrated it, it could well be.

This makes Alucard smile again. ‘Yes, it is. Today is special because I want to show you just how much you mean to me. How important your presence in my life is. How special you are.’ Does that mean that you’re the special occasion, in a strange way? Also, why is he telling you this?

Still, it doesn’t matter. It sounds like he has a full day planned for you both, or some kind of activity. Anything involving Alucard is going to be perfect, and not something you want to miss out on. Even if it means overlooking this strangeness…

Finishing your breakfast, you hand Alucard the empty bowl, smiling. ‘Thank you. I’m sure whatever you have in mind will certainly be special. I’ll get dressed now, if that’s okay? Then I’m all yours.’ In truth, you’ve been all his for a while, in a way. He just doesn’t know it.

Alucard leaves without a retort, and you get dressed, looking forward to what the day shall bring.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As you leave your room and head to the front door, it becomes evident that Alucard’s excessive floral decorations aren’t limited to your bedroom. He’s laid them out all along the corridor too, creating a walkway of flowers that doesn’t stop until you reach the stairs. It must have taken all night for him to prepare something like this! Why is he going to so much effort for your sake? 

Even if you’re wearing what Alucard deemed to be your finest dress, you still feel inadequate next to him. He’s wearing that cloak of his again, presumably just in case you have need of a blanket when you get to the flower patch. Under that, his shirt today looks freshly pressed and fancier than usual, and he’s even got it tucked into the waistband of his trousers. It’s a look you might call ‘casually fancy’, if there was anything about him that could be considered casual. Either way, he looks more like a prince than ever, and it makes you wonder once again why he’s so willing to have you by his side.

Making it to the front door, Alucard smiles widely. ‘Thank you for agreeing to spend time with me today. My day is always so much brighter when I have you for company. Your smile is brighter than even the most vivid of flowers.’ Has he said something like that before? His words seem oddly familiar…

Ignoring your headache, you smile back. ‘I always like spending time with you. Can you teach me to make flower crowns again today?’ You did such a bad job the first time, but this time, you will have Alucard wearing a crown!

Opening the front door, Alucard chuckles. ‘Of course. I’ll have you making perfect crowns in no- oh.’ His face falls, and when you follow his gaze, you know why; the sky is dark with clouds, and a tiny few drops of rain have started to fall.

The sigh that leaves Alucard breaks your heart. ‘Oh. Perhaps not then. I somehow don’t think you’ll appreciate sitting in the rain for hours.’ He’s right, but that doesn’t mean you’re not sad about it. He was so excited and happy, and now he looks like a kicked puppy…

An idea hits you. ‘You know, we could always make our own flower patch. You’ve decorated the castle with enough of them that it shouldn’t be too difficult. I can help you gather them, too.’ It sounds like a stupid idea, but it’s better than seeing Alucard so sad!

Just like that, the sparkle is back in Alucard’s eyes. ‘That’s a fantastic idea! I’ll go and collect some pillows and a blanket too, so that we’re comfortable. You just wait here.’ He rushes off before you can protest, heading off to collect supplies.

It doesn’t take long for him to return, laying out what looks to be his own bedding onto the floor. ‘Here you are, my lady. Take a seat, and I shall bring the flower field to you!’ The way he’s calling you his lady makes your gut twist with nerves, but you take a seat anyway, watching as Alucard slowly begins to collect the vases.

As the number of flowers around you increases, you try to remember more of last night. Did something happen that has triggered this? Did you say something that has made him think you need special treatment? Maybe you told him about your own insecurities, and he’s trying to make you feel better about yourself by treating you like a fancy lady? You wouldn’t put it past him, given how nice he is to you. This could all be an exercise in helping with your lack of self-esteem.

The last of the vases assembled, Alucard finally takes a seat on a pillow next to you, picking up a flower and offering it to you. ‘A flower for the beautiful lady.’ Does he mean you? Surely not. Then again, it must be you, because there aren’t any other ladies around. Still, why is he calling you beautiful?

Accepting the flower, you sniff it deeply, before tucking it behind your ear. ‘Thank you. Now then, how do I make a crown again?’ You think you remember the basics, but you’re feeling so rough you’re not sure you trust yourself to attempt it.

Alucard doesn’t seem to mind, and begins selecting flowers. ‘Watch me carefully, and remember, the trick is to be gentle with them so the stalks don’t break.’ You pay close attention to him as his slender fingers begin to twist and shape the flowers, weaving them together with a practised ease you wish you had. You could make them forever and you’ll still never be as skilled as him. At least you have him to help you, for as long as he is happy keeping you here.

Finishing quickly, Alucard smiles, placing the crown on your head. ‘There we are. A flower crown fit for a princess. Would you like to try?’ A princess? But you’re not a princess! You don’t even look like one!

Still, he looks so pleased with his efforts, you can’t argue. ‘Okay. Hopefully I can make one fit for a prince, then.’ Wait, but if he’s a prince, and you’re a princess…

Fighting off a blush, you focus on the task at hand, frowning when one of the stalks breaks almost immediately. ‘I don’t think flower crowns are for me. I’m terrible at them.’ It’s such a shame. You were so convinced you’d do it this time. So much for the matching crown idea…

Alucard shrugs. ‘I’ve seen worse efforts. Besides, no one can be good at everything. You might find flower crowns hard, but you excel at other things.’ Other things?

You frown at him. ‘Like what?’ Injuring yourself? Worrying him?

Alucard looks you straight in the eyes when he answers. ‘Making me happy.’ You… you really make him happy? You’re the reason for his smile, at least sometimes. If he only knew how much hearing that means to you...

A chill blows in through the front door, and you shiver, something Alucard notices right away. ‘You’re cold. Here, take this.’ With that, he takes his cloak off, draping it around your shoulders before you can protest. What happens if he gets cold now? He should have made you fetch something warmer to wear.

As reluctant as you might be to take it from him, you can’t deny the feelings that spread through your body. The cloak is still warm from Alucard wearing it, and the smell… You grab the ends of the fabric eagerly, wrapping yourself in it as much as you can. It smells just like him, and being snuggled into it like this makes you feel as if he’s all around you. It’s like an indirect hug.

When you finally stop wriggling, Alucard strokes your hair, careful not to break the crown. ‘There we are. You look cosy now. I’m going to fetch us some refreshments I think. Back in a moment.’ He springs up from his seat gracefully, and makes his way over to the kitchen.

With Alucard gone, and your body now a lot warmer, you decide to give the flower crown one last try. You really want to do this for him, to see how gorgeous he’ll look with a crown on his beautiful head.

Freeing your hands from their warm new home, you begin to weave the flowers together with agonising slowness, making sure not to be too forceful with them. Gently, gently…

By the time Alucard comes back, you’ve actually managed to finish it, somehow not snapping any of the stalks. While it doesn’t look anywhere near as good as Alucard’s, you’re still quite pleased with yourself. It might not be good enough for him to wear, but it’s a start. 

Setting a tray down on the blanket, Alucard notices the crown in your hand. ‘You made one. I knew you could do it. You have such talented hands, after all. Would you grant me the honour of placing it on you?’ On you? Why would you need it? You already have a beautiful crown, made by him.

To his surprise, you shake your head. ‘This one is for you, if you want it. So we can both have one.’ It sounds so stupid. This isn’t good enough for him. He won’t…

Alucard kneels before presenting you the top of his head. ‘I would be honoured beyond words. After all, I suppose a princess does need her prince.’ Your hands are shaking now, suddenly nervous. Does he know about your secret thoughts? The scenario now really does seem like something out of a fairytale. The handsome prince, sweeping the peasant girl off of her feet and changing her life forever. He’s already done both of those things, even if he doesn’t know it. You just wish you had the courage to come clean, to tell him that the drunken words of comfort you remember spouting come from a place of absolute and unrivalled love. Then maybe you could be his princess, and you could have that happily ever after all those books seem to mention.

It’s just a pity that this doesn’t end like that. You’re his friend. You just have to accept that the love of a friend is the closest thing to reciprocation you’re ever going to get.

His crown now in place, Alucard looks up at you again, some kind of emotion dancing in his eyes. ‘Perfect. I must admit though, flowers suit you far better than they suit me. You were made to be adorned with such things.’ When he says things like that, it gives you hope that there might be more between you someday. You really wish he wouldn’t. The last thing you need is false hope.

Instead, you look away from him, and focus on the tray, a curious liquid in a pair of cups, and a jar of honey. ‘What is this? I don’t think I’ve seen this before.’ It looks so strange. Also, why does the liquid seem hot?

Alucard picks one of the cups up, offering it to you. ‘It’s called tea, and it comes from Asia. Try it and see what you think. Careful though, it’s quite hot.’ A hot liquid from another land? What a bizarre thing to drink! Still, you’ve trusted Alucard and his tastes in the past, and he is rarely wrong.

Blowing on it before taking a sip, you’re surprised by the taste. ‘It’s very nice. A little bitter maybe, but I like it.’ Oh, hang on, is that what the honey on the tray is for?

Picking up that very honey, Alucard gestures for you to present your cup. ‘I had a feeling you might say that. You do have quite the sweet tooth, after all. Perhaps when we go into town to get you measured we can see if there are any sweet treats for sale? I would be interested to see your reaction to certain cakes.’ That sounds so wonderful! A whole day spent with Alucard, sampling sweet treats and picking out pretty dresses…

If Alucard’s aim today was to make you feel special, he has most definitely succeeded. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Well, to use a phrase Trevor seems to be so fond of, Alucard feels as if God really has shat in his proverbial dinner.

His plan is in ruin. It was meant to be so simple. Take her out to the field, make her a crown, and declare his love for her surrounded by flowers. It was all planned out. He was ready. 

Now he’s going to have to change things.

What can he do that could be considered romantic enough that his intentions become undeniably clear? It had to be something close, something intimate, without being too intimate…

Dancing? That seems his best bet. The ballroom has been deserted for years, but it should still be in a good state of repair. Does she even know how to dance, though? He could always teach her. Dancing is something she’ll probably enjoy, and it’ll be good for her leg. 

That is, if she’s not too horribly hungover. She doesn’t seem to be entirely with it today, and her memory is most definitely blurry. Should he backtrack, do all this tomorrow instead?

Looking at her now, sipping her tea happily whilst curled up in his cloak, Alucard knows he can’t wait. He has to tell her how he feels. He can’t keep hiding his love for her any longer. This is something that he needs to do today, in as romantic a fashion as he possibly can.

He only hopes she still feels the same way as he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo, so what's he gonna do next? :O
> 
> Find out wednesday (hopefully) ;)
> 
> Also, thanks for being so patient with us. The support is super appreciated ^.^
> 
> Fun fact: The title of this chapter references a song that I think suits Alucard and RC so much T^T, for those that are curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3blT1IRafU


	26. Tale As Old As Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> As promised, it's Wednesday, which means here be part two of the woo ^.^ 
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

After your little indoor floral tea party (which had ended up turning into lunch as well), Alucard had asked for your assistance returning his bedding to his room, a task you were all-too willing to agree to. After all, it was so sweet of him to let you use it as a soft base for your sitting together, even if it would have been better if you’d both made it outside…

Speaking of which, the rain still hasn’t stopped, but seems to have grown louder, the sound of it echoing all around the castle as you both head towards Alucard’s room. Does this mean a storm is coming? You really hope not. That would be a terrible turn of events, especially given that today is apparently about making you feel special; cowering in a corner as Alucard tries to comfort you isn’t really your idea of special.

Making it to his room, Alucard opens the door, ushering you inside. Really, you’re not sure why he wanted you to help with this. He’s only allowed you to carry one pillow and his cloak, so it’s not like you’ve done much. He could at least have handed you a pillow for each hand or something. You’d guess that he can’t carry all the bedding alone, but he did bring it down by himself… 

It’s funny, really. When you first came here, had he asked you to do this, you would have sworn it a ploy to get you into his room so he can pounce on you. Now, all these months later, there’s a part of you that wishes he would just pounce on you, but out of love rather than pure lust.

Shoving his armful of fabric carelessly onto the bed, Alucard looks at you. ‘Just toss the pillow and cloak on the bed for now. I’ll sort it later. While we’re in here, there’s something I wish to show you.’ Oh wow. Maybe you’re not far wrong with the pouncing assumption? 

No, that’s not it. Maybe he’s found a place to display the dolls you made him, and he wants to show you? That’s the kind of thing he’d do.

Adding your burdens to the heap of fabric, you smile right back. ‘Whatever it is, I’d love to see it.’ Although, as you look around his room, you spot his dolls sitting together on top of a chest of drawers, so that can’t be it, after all…

Thankfully, Alucard is here to clarify his intentions, drawing your attention to a large sheet of cloth that seems to be covering something. A painting maybe? It looks to be that shape. Has Alucard decided to paint again, after seeing the portrait of his mother with you?

Both you and Alucard stand in front of the sheet, his words all but confirming your suspicions. ‘When I thought you might be leaving, I decided to channel my sadness into something creative. I just hope you like it.’ He was really that upset at the thought of you leaving? And why does your opinion matter so much? Still, it’s sweet that it does. Whatever it is though, you’ll love it, if he’s still as good as he used to be.

You’re grinning at him now, excited for the big reveal. ‘I can’t wait to see it. Thank you for sharing it with me.’ It’s going to be so amazing, you just know it!

Alucard seems to hesitate a moment, before removing the cloth and exposing his work. 

Your jaw practically hits the floor; it’s you.

At least, you think it is. The woman in the portrait has your features, but she looks… beautiful. She’s smiling brightly, almost glowing as the sun illuminates her. Looking closer, she seems to be surrounded by flowers, with a crown on her head that looks like the one Alucard made for you that day you sat in the field together. In fact, the woman in the portrait is wearing that same dress, right down to the fact that it doesn’t fit quite properly. It is you, then… but why then do you look so radiant?

As you stare speechlessly at Alucard, his cheeks begin to turn pink. ‘I know it’s not an exact likeness, but I was relying largely on memories. Besides, a beauty such as yours is difficult to capture on canvas.’ What is he saying? That portrait looks more beautiful than you ever will! The woman in the picture looks more than worthy to be his mistress. In fact, the woman in the portrait could easily be his wife! 

There’s a mistake, there has to be. It’s just a coincidence. But then, he said a beauty such as yours…

You’re crying now, tears falling unbidden down your cheeks as you finally remember how to speak. ‘It’s… I… You flatter me. I look nowhere near as beautiful as this portrait. She looks like an angel, or a goddess, but I’m…’ Hideous, ordinary, ugly…

At that, Alucard gestures to your crown, still sitting proudly atop your head. ‘A princess, remember? In fact, I had planned to call this piece ‘The Princess Of Flowers Sits In Her Kingdom’, but now that you’re staying, I think I’d like to name it after you, and hang it somewhere alongside this castle’s other occupants, past and present. Would you allow me to do such a thing?’ He wants to display you alongside his family? Why? What have you done…?

When you ask him, Alucard smiles fondly at you. ‘What are friends, if not the family we choose? Besides, you are as much a part of the castle’s history now as I am. ‘The Flower Princess Of Castlevania’. I think I like that title much better actually, if you’re in agreement?’ The princess… of this… you can’t…

Why does he always have to be like this? Doing all these things that make you fall so desperately in love with him? It feels almost cruel, in a way. Everything he does makes you fall more and more in love with him, but no matter what, you know he won’t fall in love back. Even if he doesn’t realise it, he’s toying with your heart, and you wish more than anything you had the will to tell him how you feel, or ask him to stop.

But you don’t, so instead you nod. ‘Whatever you think. You’re the artist, after all. It’s your choice.’ That headache of yours is coming back with a vengeance now, hellbent on ripping your skull in two, if the pain is anything to go by.

Still, the pain in your head pales in comparison to the pain in Alucard’s eyes. ‘I’ll think on it, then. There is no rush. For now, I think we should make a start on dinner. Or rather, I’ll make a start. I suspect you could do with a sit down. Would you still do me the honour of keeping me company while I work, or would you like to retire to your room for a few hours?’ As much as you’d like a nap, you don’t want to leave Alucard. What he’s done for you today is incredible, and you don’t want to waste a moment of it on sleep. If he wants company, he’ll get it. Being in the kitchen might help jog your memory too, if you’re lucky.

With a small nod, you wipe away your tears. ‘I’d like to sit with you a while, if I may? I think I’d also like a glass of water, please.’ Your body definitely wants one, that much is certain.

Smiling gently, Alucard leads you both from his room, leaving the beauty in the portrait behind you both as he takes you to the kitchen. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Sitting in the kitchen next to an empty glass of water, you watch as Alucard begins to make final preparations. The rain outside the castle seems to be growing louder still, doing nothing to assuage your fears of a storm. At least you have the scent of cooking to distract you in here...

Still, as amazing as Alucard’s cooking smells, you’re not entirely sure what it is. Alucard has been deliberately vague, using his body to hide the ingredients from view as he distracts you with conversation. However, the smells coming from the stove are divine, and you know Alucard rarely disappoints.

Unfortunately, your plan of coming here to trigger your memory has failed. You’re no closer to figuring out what happened last night than you were in Alucard’s room. Maybe you’ll never fully remember? That might be for the best, in case you said something regrettable…

Walking over to you, Alucard grabs your glass with a smile. ‘Another water for the lady? I’m just about to dish up, so I hope you have an appetite.’ Less than you’d normally have, but you’ll manage. You did promise that you’d never skip a meal again, after all.

Alucard walks over to fill your glass without your confirmation, giving you time to think of an answer. ‘As long as it’s only water. As nice as I think the wine might have been, it’s not worth forgetting an entire evening over.’ If that’s all you’ve forgotten; how would you know if you’ve forgotten more?

Alucard can only chuckle in response. ‘You are coping admirably with your hangover, I must say. Some people choose to stay in bed until noon, regretting their life choices and vomiting into the nearest receptacle. Why do you think I kept the wine away from Trevor? Not that he would have appreciated it, the beer-loving… I am getting off-topic. What I mean to say is there’s nothing wrong with indulging once in a while, as long as you don’t drink when you plan to remember. That’s why I haven’t offered you any tonight. I would like you to remember your special day, as disastrous as it’s been.’ Placing the glass in front of you, he walks over to the stove, and begins to dish up dinner.

Taking a sip as you watch Alucard, a memory from last night slowly creeps in. Your glass… Alucard’s lips…

You choke on your water a little, only further cementing the memory in your mind. Alucard had finished that bitter wine from your glass, and you’d told him it was like an indirect kiss! He’d choked on the wine at that, clearly horrified at the prospect! Or was it just surprise? What did you both say next?

Shit, you don’t remember. Still, it can’t be that bad, right? If he was angry, he would have mentioned it. He would have at least gone back to being more distant with you. As it is, Alucard seems to be the opposite, choosing to be closer to you than ever, in a way. Is there even the smallest possibility that Alucard… likes the thought of kissing you?

You dismiss that thought entirely as Alucard walks over, placing dinner on the table before taking a seat next to you. ‘Here we are. The finest meal I could make. Enjoy.’ As grateful as you are, you’re not sure this is his finest work; it looks like stew. That’s not something a lot of people would consider to be all that fine, but given how tasty Alucard’s stews are…

Not missing a beat, you dig right in, scooping up a piece of meat with ease before taste testing it. ‘Rabbit stew? This is what you fed me that first day I woke up properly.’ Well, it’s not the exact same, unless he’s had it hidden in a cupboard for months… now there’s a disturbing thought!

Alucard smiles at you warmly. ‘I knew you would appreciate its significance. After all, what better way to remind you of how special you are than to start back at the very beginning? Even if you’ve changed quite a lot since then. For the best, I’d like to add.’ You think so, too. You’re healthy now, at the very least.

You stare down at your stew, thinking back to that first day. ‘Remember how I told you to only feed me the vegetables because I didn’t think you’d waste meat on me?’ 

Alucard laughs, looking at his bowl. ‘Oh yes, I do recall that. I thought it odd at the time, but, it makes perfect sense now. I think we’ve both learnt a lot about each other since that day, good and bad. I am glad that I decided to bring you into my life like this. My only regret is not doing it sooner.’ Sooner? Like when you first met?

Shaking your head dismissively, you pause your eating for a moment. ‘You didn’t know I could be trusted, and I don’t blame you. While I don’t remember much of last night, I do remember what you told me about those two bodies at the front door, and what they did to you. The fact that you even helped me at all after that is beyond remarkable. That you even trusted me enough to take me in as you did…’ In many ways, it’s as if your friendship was meant to be. He taught you what it is to be truly cared for, and you’ve tried to show him that there are still people in the world that can be trusted.

Alucard starts staring at you then, frowning slightly. ‘You couldn’t even walk when I took you in. It’s not so much that I trusted you, just that you couldn’t have harmed me even if you’d wanted to. In fact, I still don’t think you could. That’s why I’m going to keep feeding you until I know you won’t snap in half the next time we have a particularly strong breeze.’ He scoops up a chunk of rabbit from his own bowl, offering it to you. 

While it’s not the first time Alucard has given you food from his plate or off of his utensils, it feels… different tonight. Like there’s something else here, past the friendly banter he’s turned your conversation into. You only wish you knew what it was, so you knew how to behave in response…

You finish your meal largely in silence after that, but that doesn’t stop Alucard from giving you all the rabbit from his portion.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

With dinner done and the dishes in the sink, you’d expected Alucard to dismiss you for that day, satisfied that he’s convinced you how special you are.

That isn’t the case, however.

Instead, he had proudly declared that he has one final thing to show you, before leading you off down an unfamiliar corridor. 

As excited as you are, you’re now starting to worry, as your worst fear is realised; thunder is now rumbling through the castle on occasion, a storm clearly raging on outside. No matter what surprise Alucard has in store for you, it’s going to be hard to focus with every inch of your being telling you to run and hide.

Instead of pausing at the door like he normally does, Alucard instead opens this one and leads you inside without hesitation, and you gasp; this room is huge! It does seem empty though, now that you think of it. You’re certain the room will have a noticeable echo when you speak. What kind of room is this? And why has Alucard led you here? A sparring lesson, maybe? That’s all you can possibly think of that would need this much space.

Taking in your look of confused awe, Alucard decides to enlighten you. ‘It’s a ballroom, made specifically for dancing. I thought this would be a nice way to finish the evening.’ Dancing? In here? With Alucard? But there’s no music! And you don’t know how! And your body will be so close to his, and…

You’re blushing now, you must be. Especially with Alucard looking at you so expectantly, no doubt expecting you to be enthusiastic about this.

As nice a prospect as it is, you can’t say you’re confident. ‘Alucard, I’ve never… you know I can’t dance, right?’ He must know. There’s no way he’d assume that an orphaned thief has ever danced before.

Undeterred, Alucard walks over to a strange device, offering you a passing glance over his shoulder. ‘I thought as much, but it doesn’t matter. It’s just one more thing I can teach you, if you’re willing?’ Of course. You should have known he’d offer to teach you, just like he always does. As good a teacher as he is, it does a lot to calm your nerves, even if the thought of being close to him still makes your stomach jitter.

You steel yourself with a nod, ready to accept his instruction. ‘I think I’m willing. Don’t we need music though?’ The moment you say that, the strange machine in front of Alucard fills the room with a sweet sounding melody.

Alucard begins to walk towards you, once again answering your silent question. ‘Centuries of accumulated knowledge has taught my family many things, including how to make music without a band. If it bothers you, I could always enchant some instruments?’ The way he says it is so casual, like making instruments play on their own isn’t fantastical!

Still, now that you have music, he doesn’t need to trouble himself. ‘This is perfect. So, where do we start?’ Does he put his hands on you first, or do you take the lead?

The smile Alucard gives you is dazzling. ‘In a dance such as this, the first step is asking permission.’ He bows down low then, extending out his arm and offering you his hand. ‘My lady, may I have this dance?’ The thunder roars again, but you ignore it, taking Alucard’s offered hand.

Permission given, Alucard comes closer, and places his other hand on your waist. ‘Place your hand on my upper arm.’ You do as instructed, enjoying the feeling of his strong arm against your fingers. Even if there’s a layer of fabric between you and his bare flesh, you can still feel his warmth, and it does nothing to ease your nerves about being so close to him.

Now that you’re in position, Alucard slowly moves backwards a few times, encouraging you to follow. You respond by almost immediately stepping onto his foot, apologising in a flap while your face grows even hotter, almost enough to make you cry with embarrassment.

That doesn’t seem to deter Alucard though, as he continues moving, offering you a few words of encouragement. ‘I think you’re getting the hang of it now. Are you enjoying yourself?’ In a twisted sense, yes, just because you’re standing so close to Alucard, you couldn’t possibly not be enjoying yourself right now.

Instead of telling him all of that, you manage a smile. ‘Yes, I am. Sorry for stepping on your toes so much.’ More thunder, and a shiver down your spine. You wish the storm would stop trying to ruin this…

Alucard shakes his head. ‘No apology necessary. If trodden toes is the price I have to pay for being this close to you, so be it. There is nowhere else I would rather be right now.’ He’s only saying that to be nice. The worst part is, it’s working; it’s easy to feel special when he’s doting on you like he has been.

Trying not to focus on the weather, you stare into his eyes, and almost melt when you notice that they’re full of happiness. ‘Thank you for letting me stay here. I… I would have missed your company terribly.’ Was that too honest a thing to say? You blame nerves, and your hangover, and the weather…

If it is too much, it doesn’t bother Alucard, although he seems to slow your dancing down even further. ‘I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving. That’s why I painted that portrait. I was scared that I might forget you somehow, as if you haven’t already made a permanent impression on my life. Truth be told, I was also afraid that you…’ He looks away for a moment, breaking eye contact before bringing them back to face you. ‘… I was afraid you might forget me. That you would keep that stupid promise, and we’d never see each other again. I wanted so desperately to ask you to stay, but I couldn’t. I think I was afraid that you would refuse me, and I don’t think my heart could have taken that much pain.’ He… did he really feel that strongly about you leaving? 

You find yourself fighting back tears. ‘I wanted to ask if I could stay, but I couldn’t. You’ve done so much for me already. You’ve been the best thing that I’ve ever had in my life, and I don’t want to spoil it by being greedy or selfish. I thought you might hate me for asking, or want to go back to solitude.’ You wouldn’t blame him either, after you’ve been such a burden…

Alucard shakes his head. ‘I could never hate you. Not for that. Not for anything. As for my life of solitude… I know I was cold when you first arrived, but now you know why. Solitude isn’t something I like. Rather, it’s something I’ve grown accustomed to. That’s part of the reason I took Taka and Sumi in. I wanted companionship, more than I’ve ever wanted… well, it was more than I’d ever wanted anything at the time. Right now though, there is something more that I want. Something I want so badly that I am almost afraid to say it, for fear that it’ll never come to pass. That is to say, I need to tell you something. Inform you, if you will, that you have broken your word. You told me that you would never steal from me, but here you stand, taking my breath away. The pure and sweet soul I saved that day, transformed into a wonderful woman, one that I… sorry, I know I’m rambling again. What I want to say is that I-‘ At that moment, a clap of thunder, louder than any of its predecessors, shakes through the building, and you whimper, throwing yourself into Alucard’s chest.

Forgetting all about the dancing, Alucard lets go of your hand and your waist so he can wrap his arms around you, cradling you to his chest. ‘It’s alright. You’re safe in here, with me. Nothing will ever harm you again, not while there’s breath in me. It’s just a storm, and it will pass. I promise you, it’s going to be okay.’ As you bury yourself in Alucard’s chest, more memories from the night before come into your mind. You’d asked him if he thought you pretty, and he… his response was…

Your heart begins beating faster than ever before, and not from fear. All the things he told you, about how you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and how happy you make him, and how you’re a precious treasure! This can’t be… is this a real memory?

You remember something else then too, something far more important; he knows. You told him that you love him, and he chastised you for saying something so… cruel. Cruel… why is it cruel? Surely he thought you were too drunk to mean it? So why then is it cruel?

No, wait, this can’t be.

All of this today… it wasn’t to make you feel special. Or rather, it wasn’t just to make you feel special. Is this all Alucard trying to woo you?

All the pieces finally make sense. The flowers, the heart in the oats, the flattering portrait, the repeat of your first meal, the dancing… is this all Alucard’s way of telling you that he loves you back?

You have to know. Damn any consequences. If there’s even the slightest chance that by some miracle he has any romantic interest in you, you need to know.

However, as you pull back slightly to look at him, the words you want fail you, so you settle for the next best thing. ‘Do you really think I’m beautiful?’ It’s such a random question, but looking into Alucard’s eyes, you know he understands what you’re referring to; he knows you remember what he said last night.

Alucard stares at you for a few seconds, trying to find words, before abandoning them in favour of tilting his head, and bringing his lips down to brush against yours.

The kiss is so sudden that you barely have time to react, managing only to close your eyes as your body seems to ignite. His lips feel so perfect against yours, like they belong there. He’s being so soft, and so painfully tender, that it makes you want to melt into his arms. As unforgettable as that accidental kiss was, this is the first kiss you’ve always dreamt of.

After a few moments, Alucard pulls his lips away, and you open your eyes only to see his widen in alarm. ‘I’m so… I shouldn’t have… I didn’t mean…’ Terrified of him backtracking, you finally decide to do something bold; wrapping your arms around his neck, you bring Alucard’s face back down to yours, reuniting your lips almost frantically.

Your one simple act is enough to break Alucard, who wastes no time weaving one of his hands into your hair, as if he’s afraid you’ll back away. As if you would. This is all you’ve wanted for the longest time, and you won’t be the one to back away. You could kiss him for days and never tire of this feeling.

Finally, Alucard pulls back, allowing you the chance to breathe, and clarify your actions. ‘I meant what I told you last night. I love you, Adrian. I know I told you once that I didn’t know what love felt like, but being with you, I think I understand it now.’ You know now what love is, and you know that’s what you feel for him.

There are tears in Alucard’s eyes when he answers, prompting your own. ‘I love you, too. I tried so hard to convince myself that I didn’t, but I should have known I couldn’t deny my heart forever. I’m so in love with you, and hearing that you feel the same is like a dream I never wish to wake from.’ He’s coming back for more kisses now, and you enthusiastically return them, only hoping that you’re as good at this as he is.

As the two of you continue to pour all of your passion into your kisses, the storm outside finally starts to settle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, now that that's happened... Nah, no more 'H' word, unless that word is 'Honey' ;P
> 
> Also, news on the Draculisa fic- It's almost time :O So, keep an eye out for that in the future! 
> 
> In all seriousness, thank you all. We honestly never imagined that so many people were going to enjoy this story T.T 
> 
> For now, thanks again, and see you for the next update on Friday ^.^


	27. Courting Conditions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> A few moments later than usual, but here we go. Enjoy ^.^

You’re woken up by the feeling of something soft against your cheek, and a familiar voice telling you that it’s time to get up.

As your consciousness returns, the only thing on your mind is last night. Well, all of yesterday really, but last night in particular. The dancing, the confessions of love, the kissing… Oh, but kissing Alucard is wonderful. The way his lips had moulded against yours so perfectly as his arms wrapped around you, keeping you close for what felt like hours before deciding it was time to call it a night. You’d been devastated at the thought of no more kisses, but as he’d walked you back to your room, Alucard had promised that he’d bring you plenty of kisses with breakfast in the morning.

Now that you’re more alert, you can tell that he’s kept his word; that is most definitely Alucard’s lips you’re feeling against your cheek.

Opening your eyes, you smile sleepily up at Alucard, who seems to be sitting on the bed, watching your reactions. ‘Morning, beautiful.' Your voice cracks a little from sleep, but the words are true enough; he does look especially beautiful this morning. Maybe it’s because you know he’s in love with you, and that makes him all the more appealing? Then again, he’s always been the single most attractive man you’ve ever seen, so…

Alucard chuckles, pulling back slightly so he can talk properly. ‘I think you’ll find that’s my line. Honestly, what am I going to call my devastatingly beautiful princess now? Breathtaking? Peerlessly alluring? Irresistible, perhaps?’ You’re never going to get used to his flattery. He could call you every pleasant word known to man or vampire, and you’d still find it hard to accept them.

Still, now is a poor time to bring up your insecurities. ‘You could always kiss me instead? Then you wouldn’t have to call me anything.’ Unless he wants to sigh your name in-between kisses? That’s something you think you like the sound of.

After a few seconds of contemplation, Alucard sighs. ‘Oh, but I rather enjoy calling you things. For so long, I’ve had all these words rattling around in my brain that I’ve so desperately wanted you to hear. Now I don’t have to hide them anymore. I can tell you exactly how beautiful you look anytime I want to, without fear that my words of love might be rejected. Still, if you’re offering me a kiss, I’m not about to pass up such a wonderful gift.’ His lips are on yours then, and you melt into the bed, happy that he’s still just as keen to kiss you as he was last night.

After a lamentably brief kiss, you sit up in bed, catching sight of breakfast on your bedside table. ‘You know, you don’t have to bring me my breakfast like this every day. Maybe I could bring it to you one day?’ It feels really unfair, always being spoilt like this when Alucard doesn’t get anywhere near the same treatment.

Alucard hums. ‘While I would welcome the gesture, it’s not necessary. I’ve never expected a reward for anything I’ve done for you. I do these things because I love you, and I want you to feel that love as often as possible.’ Oh, but right now, you can feel the love radiating from Alucard. It does make you wonder though…

You chew on your bottom lip, anxious. ‘But then, if I don’t do nice things for you, how will you know that I love you completely in return?’ There has to be something you can do. You’ll just have to think of things, take as many opportunities as possible to make him feel special.

Bringing his hand up to stroke your hair, Alucard instantly puts your mind at ease. ‘I already know that. You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear, and I couldn’t be happier if I tried. I’m not going to think that your feelings have changed just because you don’t make me breakfast.’ He might though. You don’t know. You’ve never been in love before!

Reaching up and lacing your fingers with Alucard’s, you tilt your head to rub your cheek against his palm. ‘I’m sorry. I just want to be perfect for you. You could have had just about anyone else in the world, but you chose me. The least I can do is make sure it was a good choice.’ Whatever it takes to please Alucard, to make him happy…

Alucard’s thumb reaches out to trace over your bottom lip. ‘I don’t want anyone else, my sweet flower princess, and you have nothing to prove. As long as you still love me, that is enough. 

‘However, I think we should discuss the finer points of our relationship, if you’re agreeable to such a discussion?’ The finer points? What does he mean by that? 

Oh. You think you understand. This is where he tells you that you’re his mistress now, and that while he still loves you, there will come a day when he has to take a wife of proper standing. A real lady.

As upsetting a thought as that is, you’re prepared for it, and ready to hear him tell you that. ‘Alright. I suppose it’s best to talk things through right away. Did you want to start?’ It’ll be easier to hear it coming from him, than having to admit it yourself.

Alucard takes a deep breath, taking his hand from your face and placing it in his lap. ‘Well, I would say that this point is fairly obvious, but it’s best that I make it clear; you are the only person I wish to pursue a relationship with. If you are comfortable with it, I would like you to be with me exclusively. Just the two of us.’ That’s… he only wants you? He doesn’t want a wife, also? Why not? Doesn’t he want to marry someday?

Still, if that’s really what he wants, you’re not about to talk him out of it. ‘You’re my first and only love, Adrian. You don’t have to worry about me finding someone else. If exclusivity is fine for you, it’s fine for me.’ If being with him exclusively means you’re the only one getting to experience his kisses and his love, you’re all for it. As long as he’s happy with it, you know you’ll be more than satisfied.

After a moment, Alucard breathes a sigh of relief. ‘It’s more than fine. It’s wonderful. While I wouldn’t say that I’m a jealous person, I don’t much like the idea of sharing the woman I love with another man. I don’t like the idea of sharing you with a woman, either, although while we’re on this topic, it’s worth mentioning that I feel a certain level of… attraction, to both men and women. Is this something that bothers you?’ Why would it? Besides, given that one of the corpses outside seems to be male, you’d already figured as much.

You shake your head. ‘Nope. Besides, you’ve just told me you want exclusivity, so it doesn’t really matter if you like men too, because you just said I was the only person you wanted. Right?’ Unless he meant that you’re the only woman he wants in his life? But he did mention just the two of you…

Once again, it seems as if a weight has been lifted from Alucard’s shoulders. ‘That’s right. Just you and I. That’s all I need.’ That only deepens your suspicions that Alucard is content with you being his mistress; if he planned to make you his wife, he would have mentioned children, right? Isn’t that the dream for most men who live in a fancy castle? Find a pretty wife, have a son to inherit it all… It’s what Dracula seems to have done, at least.

Still, if this is the way it is, you’re happy. You never even thought you’d make it this far with him. As long as he loves you, and you love him, you’ll accept any title you have to. This is what you want. You have his love, and that’s enough.

You lean forward, giving Alucard a quick peck on the lips. ‘Me too. All I want is to enjoy life by your side, or anywhere else you want me. As long as we love each other, that’s more than enough for me. More than I could have ever asked for.’ You kiss him again, and this time, Alucard weaves his hand into your hair, keeping your mouths together far longer this time. Not that you’re complaining; kissing him like this could easily become your new addiction.

When you finally break apart, Alucard’s smile is blinding. ‘I’m glad we’re in agreement over this. Something in your statement has me curious however. You mention being by my side, or anywhere else I want you. Why would I want you anywhere else but at my side?’ You can probably think of several reasons, but you get the feeling he’d disagree with a lot of them; for some reason, Alucard seems to think you beautiful, so the idea of having you by his side in public isn’t that disturbing.

Not wanting to get into that argument today, you choose a more literal answer. ‘You might want me underneath you… in your bed.’ Such a thing is basically an inevitability, now that you’re his mistress. After all, why even have a mistress at all if you’re not going to enjoy all that she has to offer? Not that you mind giving yourself to Alucard in the slightest. You just hope your first time is a little different to what Sypha described…

Alucard’s face immediately turns bright red, and he withdraws his hand again. ‘That’s… um… is that something you want? To make love?’ Is it not something he wants? Surely it’s crossed his mind.

You bite your lip again, thinking of the best way to explain yourself. ‘I’m not sure… I know that I want you to be my first, and if you want to do it now, we can. I just want to make you happy.’ Prove to him that you’re worth loving, in some small way…

At your confession, Alucard frowns. ‘As I have told you before, never offer me happiness at the expense of your own. If the answer to that question isn’t a clear and definite yes, then I don’t think you’re ready. Truth be told, I’m not sure if I am either. What Taka and Sumi did to me is not something I can so easily forget, as much as I care for you. While I won’t deny that I am incredibly attracted to you, and that I would very much like to make love, it is too soon. For both of us.’ It’s such a relief to hear him say that. You’re glad that you don’t have to rush into anything with him. As much as you would have truly given yourself to him, it’s good to know that he isn’t in a rush to take it.

You smile at him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. ‘I understand. If you ever need to talk about what happened, please do. I know that I can’t change what happened, but I’d like to help you deal with it in any way I can. Anything you need, I’m here.’ By his side. The place he wants you to be, as hard as it is to believe that…

It’s Alucard’s turn to cover your hand with his own, tilting his head to kiss your scarred palm before turning back to you. ‘You help me every day just by being yourself. It’s just something that is going to take time, which we have plenty of now that you’re no longer planning to leave. For now, being able to hold you, and to kiss you, is enough.’ He leans forward for another kiss, and you meet him halfway, trying your hardest not to start grinning. All this kissing is enough to make you feel giddy. Would Alucard be willing to spend some time today just kissing you like this? It would be the most wonderful way to spend time! Maybe once you’re done with reading or something?

When the kiss ends, you rub your nose against his affectionately. ‘I look forward to that, then. I can’t wait for us to grow together as lovers. It’s like a dream come true for me. I feel like Rhodopis, getting a happier ending than I could ever have hoped for.’ While you might not be marrying a king, you are now the mistress of a prince; well, he’s a prince in your eyes, at least. The honeyed prince… Maybe you should write your own story about how the two of you fell in love?

Alucard chuckles. ‘Don’t talk as if this is the end, because it’s quite the contrary. This is only the beginning of our life together. We’ll look back on this first day together as lovers one day and smile, knowing just how far we have come since this first moment. For now, we shall live in the moment, and simply enjoy each other’s love.’ That sounds like the perfect plan to you. You could easily see yourself living life like this forever.

You’re about to tell him as much, when your stomach growls, clearly remembering the oats you have yet to eat. ‘I think right now I’d simply like to enjoy breakfast.’ Alucard laughs at that, standing up and retrieving your breakfast with a smile.

As you go to take a bite, you notice that the honey is once again in the shape of a heart, only this time, the meaning is not lost on you.

Alucard loves you.

It’s wonderful knowing that the feeling is mutual.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As Alucard watches his lover eating her breakfast happily, his thoughts are whirring through his mind faster than he can keep track of them. Even with his feelings now finally out there, all of the emotions this woman makes him feel still threaten to overwhelm him. How is it possible to feel so much love for a single person like this? He’s had her in his life for less than a year, and he already knows he wants her with him for the rest of time.

In the back of his mind, Alucard swears he can already hear wedding bells. How soon is too soon to propose? He should wait more than a day, at least. He needs to plan it out, anyway. After all, this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. He needs to make it perfect if he wants her to even consider such a thing. 

Besides which, there are still things Alucard hasn’t told her. Important things that could change her mind about having a future together with him. They need to take it slow, and he needs to come clean fully at some point before he asks her to commit to him fully.

For now though, he’s going to do as she had mentioned, and simply enjoy life by her side. Oh, if she only knew how much that statement had caused his heart to flutter. He’ll make sure each and every day she spends by his side is overflowing with happiness. In fact, now would be the perfect time to renovate the library, given her love of reading. If he rearranges things, he could build them a little corner filled with cushions and blankets. They could take all of her reading lessons in there. He could have her snuggled against his chest with a book as he reads one of his own, or he could read to her. Maybe she could read to him. She would be well-rewarded for her efforts. He could kiss her after every paragraph, help her to learn from her small mistakes by using them as positive reinforcement. She would like that. He would too. Any excuse to kiss her, as if he needs one…

He really must take her to see the Belmont collection soon, too. After all, if she does agree to be his wife, they’ll both be custodians of it. Isn’t that the point of marriage? To share everything? While he might not be the king of Egypt, he does have much that he can share with her. As long as she’s here with him, he’ll see to it that she wants for nothing. There is not a thing in this world that he won’t do for her to make her happy. 

In fact, that reminds Alucard of something else. He still needs to take her into town and have her measured for some new dresses. She had been so reluctant when he mentioned it at first, but maybe now she’ll be more willing? After all, it’s not uncommon for a gentleman to splurge on the woman he’s courting. He’s hardly short on coin either, something she must surely realise by now? 

Oh, but the thought of her in a properly fitting dress is a welcome one. It’ll be nice to see her in something that does her body justice for once. Now that her figure is fuller, healthier, she should show it off more. If nothing else, it reassures him that she’s not in danger of wasting away on him. She’s healthy now, just as she should be. Healthy, and all his…

Before anything else though, there’s something he has to do for her. Something important. 

He only hopes she’s willing to accept his help with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much mystery, some set up O.O
> 
> Next chapter due on Monday. For now, a question;
> 
> As we have now hit the target for that Draculisa fic, does anyone have any specific requests for what they want to see in it? We have a couple ideas between us, but we're always more than happy to listen to the voice of the people ;)
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and all being well, we'll be back on Monday as planned :D


	28. These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Well, we kept on schedule again, which is a good sign ^.^ No new warnings in this chapter, except maybe brief mention of a body part...
> 
> Also, sorry if it's a little long. We got quite... carried away O.O
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

It’s been a full week since that first kiss with Alucard now, and it’s no exaggeration to say that it’s been the best week of your life, despite the fact that very little has changed. Life here in the castle never seems to change much anymore, not now you’re a permanent fixture. The only real difference is now, all the things that fill your day come with a very important extra; kisses.

It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, or where you’re doing it. If Alucard is in any way involved, there’s a kiss there. Waking up in the morning? Kiss. Stitching a hole in something? Kiss. Going off for a bath? A kiss goodbye when you close the door, and a hello kiss the next time he sees you. You’d accuse Alucard of going overboard with his kisses, if you had a problem with it. As it is, you look forward to every little brushing of lips, slowly making up for all the time lost to your secret feelings.

Today however, there haven’t been many kisses. You’ve both been too busy travelling.

It turns out that Alucard was in fact serious about buying you an entirely new wardrobe, and now you’re heading off into town with him to be measured properly.

Admittedly, it still feels strange, walking besides Alucard as a woman. Memories of your last trip here still ring fresh in your mind, and it’s putting you on edge. What did Alucard do with the bodies in the end? What if someone recognises you in town, and remembers that your last visit coincided with the disappearances? What if Alucard is forced to defend you again because a group of idiots thinks he looks like an easy fight and you an easy target? Maybe you should have asked Alucard for a measuring tape, given you the measurements to take to the seamstress?

Then again, it wouldn’t be quite the same as having a proper fitting. Besides, knowing Alucard, he would probably walk out of that shop with a dress for you in every cut, colour, and fabric known to mankind, just in case one of them isn’t to your liking. No, picking yourself is a good idea.

Noticing your anxiety, Alucard offers you his arm, which you loop with your own awkwardly, his a little too high to be comfortable. ‘It’s remarkably brave of you to agree to this. I know it can’t be easy for you, coming back like this.’ At least he understands your fears. That does go some way towards comforting you.

You nod, leaning your head against him as best you can. ‘It isn’t, but I’m trying. At least I’ll have you with me the whole time now, right?’ Unless he decides that you’re safe on your own, so he goes off to run errands…

Alucard leans over to kiss the top of your head. ‘If you want me with you, I’ll stay with you. However, this does mean that you’ll have me constantly reminding you that this trip is all about treating you to things.’ You really wish he wouldn’t. It’s hard enough allowing him to buy you a dress. One dress, specifically. You have no intention of taking anything more from him.

Unwinding your arm from his because it’s starting to ache, you look at him sternly. ‘We’re just going to get me measured for a dress, that’s all. Besides, I can’t really carry much back. That fabric last time was almost too much for me.’ You did bring the now-empty basket with you again though, in case Alucard needs to pick up any essentials.

Rolling his eyes, Alucard sighs. ‘Bold of you to assume I would allow you to do any heavy lifting. I share many things in common with mules, so I don’t object to being burdened like one. Not if that burden consists entirely of things that make you happy.’ What does he mean by that? How is he like a mule?

Somewhat dreading the answer, you focus on something else. ‘You make me happy just by being with me. I don’t need lots of fancy gifts. I don’t… You really don’t have to do any of this. I have plenty of dresses at home.’ They pretty much fit you now, anyway. Not in a way that’s particularly flattering, but they get the job done.

Alucard reaches out to you then, taking your hand into his, and your heart flutters. You’ve never held hands walking like this before. It seems so much more intimate than linking your arms together, even if it’s not the first time you’ve laced your fingers between his before. Still, he must really want you close if he refuses to let go of you even when you’re walking beside him...

A look of stern fondness shines in Alucard’s eyes. ‘Yes, I do. You deserve better than a handful of secondhand dresses. Trust me, you’ll feel better for having your own clothes.’ That might be true, but you wish you were the one buying them. It feels so much like you’re abusing his kindness now… Just because you’re his mistress, doesn’t mean he has to do all of this.

Still, if he’s really going to insist, you know you can’t fight him. ‘Thank you for this. I admit, it will feel nice not to wear such loose clothing. I’m still trying to decide what kind of dress I want. How often will we be leaving the castle? I think I should choose something practical, but nice too… What do you think?’ After all, he’s the one buying the dress. He should have some say in it.

Squeezing your hand, Alucard smiles. ‘Why not have two? One for best, and one for general wear. Then again, you won’t want to wear the same dress everyday. Two for everyday, one for special occasions? Oh, and you’ll be wanting sleepwear too. Surely you don’t like the idea of sleeping in someone else’s nightgown.’ Okay, so maybe you shouldn’t have asked Alucard. Now he’s turned one dress into three, and some nightwear…

It’s your turn to sigh. ‘One is fine, honestly. I can just wear my old dresses when it needs cleaning.’ It’s not as if you’re going to throw them away; they were from Alucard, after all.

This time, Alucard actively pouts. ‘But that defeats the point of getting you new dresses. Please, let me do this for you. Let me show you what it is to be treated like a real lady.’ So everything else wasn’t him treating you like a lady? And here you were, assuming him to be a perfect gentleman.

Maybe you really should give in, for him. He seems a lot more excited at you getting new dresses than you are. At least if you let him treat you today, you have an excuse to reject more from him in the future. A small treat now, to avoid him feeling as if he has to do something drastic later.

You nudge his shoulder with your cheek, resting on him for a moment. ‘Alright. Just clothing, though. I might actually faint if you try presenting me with jewellery.’ Come to think of it, maybe you shouldn’t have mentioned that; you don’t want to tempt him.

Alucard stops walking at that, slipping his hand from yours as you watch his face fall slightly. ‘While we’re on that subject, there’s something I should tell you. Vampires, and by extension dhampirs, have an adverse reaction to certain substances. Silver, for example, is one that we cannot tolerate.’ He pulls his sleeve up and his glove down slightly, showing you his scar. ‘It burns our skin. Damages it. Stabbing a vampire with a silver blade would be the same as stabbing a human with a steel one. If you were to wear something silver, I would not be able to risk getting close to it. Something to consider I suppose, should you ever wish to keep me away.’ He’s just telling you this? Exposing you to one of his biggest weaknesses? What if you did want to hurt him? He must trust you a lot to tell you this!

Well, either that or he’s telling you ahead of time, in case something silver catches your eye in town where there are people to eavesdrop.

Placing your hand on his cheek, you smile softly. ‘Nothing silver for me, then. I don’t want to risk hurting you. Are you okay handling the money?’ That’s a point; aren’t some of the coins made of silver?

Alucard half-heartedly laughs at that. ‘There is silver in them, but it isn’t pure. They shouldn’t do me any harm, but as you can see, I’m wearing gloves. It seems a sensible precaution.’ As long as he’s going to be okay with it, that’s all that matters. Still, it seems quite a sizeable risk for him to take.

It’s another big act of trust, but maybe he’ll accept it? ‘Would you like me to handle the money so you don’t have to risk yourself?’ You don’t want him to get hurt just so he can treat you to things.

Smiling wide, Alucard leans forwards, capturing your lips in a brief kiss before answering. ‘Your concern is very touching, but I’ll be okay. Besides, having control of the purse strings means I get to control just how much to spoil you, whether you like it or not.’ He takes your hand from his face, clutching it firmly before he starts walking again. ‘We’re nearly there now, so stay close. Remember, if you want me by your side, that’s exactly where I’ll be. If we get separated, call and I’ll come to you.’ In fairness, that’s exactly what he did last time, so you know that he means it.

You just hope neither of you run into any trouble today.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

To your great relief, the town seems quiet today, with very few people meandering through the market stalls. The people that are out today seem to pay you and Alucard no mind, and if anyone here recognises you from either your old life or your last visit, they don’t mention it.

The seamstress’ shop is just as quiet as the rest of town, with the small bell that jingles upon your entrance announcing your arrival as her only customers. The seamstress herself is working on a dress of sorts, but the moment she sees you and Alucard walk in, she downs tools immediately.

Practically skipping over to you, the seamstress grins a toothy smile. ‘Good morning! What can I do for you?’ She’s straight to the point at least, which you appreciate.

You wait for Alucard to explain the situation, but he nudges you, indicating that you should do it instead. ‘I’m here to be measured for a new dress, please?’ Is that the right thing to say? You’ve never had clothes made for you before, that you can remember. What if you’re being rude?

Looking you up and down, the seamstress frowns. ‘I should think so, too! This dress does your body no favours, dear. A hand-me-down, is it? But don’t you worry! Auntie Sylvia is going to set you right. What kind of dress are you after?’ Oh dear. You haven't totally decided on that yet. Maybe you could talk through your options with her?

Before you get a chance to say as much, Alucard decides that now is the moment to speak for you. ‘It’s a full wardrobe, I’m afraid. Dresses are the priority, but she needs some nightgowns too, if that’s something you can make?’ … Well, it looks like Alucard is getting his wish; you’re not going to be leaving here with just the one dress order now!

Sylvia smiles widely. ‘Of course I can. If you have the coin, I have the skills. Would you like to take a look at some samples of my work, get a feel for what you might like? I can measure you afterwards.’ That would be nice. It might help inspire you a little, give you an idea of what you want.

When you nod confidently, Sylvia gestures to a row of dresses hanging on the back wall. ‘Over here, then. Remember, these are only examples, so if you like the cut of the dress but would rather have it in a different colour, I can do that.’ As you approach the dresses, your jaw almost hits the floor; they’re beautiful. Somehow, they’re even nicer than the ones you have at home, even if they are simpler. To own even a single dress that looks like them seems like a faraway dream, but here you are, able to choose several. That is, if Alucard can even afford them. Surely things this fine are way out of the price range he has in mind?

Alucard comes to stand by you, humming as he too examines the dresses. ‘The quality of your work is quite flawless. I don’t envy anyone who has to choose only one of them.’ You know that little remark was aimed at you, but you let it slide; he’s right, anyway. Choosing just one of these as a favourite would be next to impossible!

Sylvia scoffs. ‘There are those far more talented than I am, but I’m proud enough of my work. It always makes me smile when I see a woman wearing one of my dresses. It is just everyday you’re after, or would you like to see the evening dresses, too?’ Does that mean that these aren’t her fancier dresses?! Oh dear, coming here was a bad idea. You could look through these for hours already, nevermind the fancier stuff!

You shake your head. ‘I think I’m just after everyday, if that’s okay? Ones that are suitable for wearing out on walks, too.’ Which is still everyday, for a lot of people. Is Alucard still certain you can have more than one?

Listening to your response, Alucard leans over, talking directly into your ear. ‘I think you should pick at least one evening dress, too. A dress fit for special occasions.’ You don’t know what he’s on about. Any of these dresses is more than beautiful enough to be worn on a special occasion.

Upon hearing Alucard’s comment, Sylvia chuckles. ‘I have to say, it isn’t often that it’s the gentleman eager to buy more. I think you should accept his generosity, dear, but I am horribly biased.’ A part of you would like to, but if you do that, it’ll only set a precedent for the future, and you don’t want Alucard to bankrupt himself for you…

You remain adamant. ‘It’s really okay. I’m already being spoilt enough just by being allowed to pick more than one. I think I’ve made a choice though.’ As difficult as it’s been. You’ve managed to sort it into only three, even if you almost lament dropping the fourth choice. Still, it’s a lot more than the one you were thinking of getting this morning.

Sylvia fetches a book and quill then, and poises herself to write as you list off your order. ‘One like this, in the same colour but a bit less frilly around the chest. One like this, but could you do it with longer sleeves? And then one just like this, but in a green. No, wait, a brown. Is that okay?’ You stare at her, and then stare up at Alucard, hoping that three isn’t too much.

Alucard sighs softly. ‘You are hopeless. Three dresses doesn’t count as a full wardrobe. Well, make that four actually. Could you make a green and a brown version of that last one, please?’ At least you don’t have to pick between the two, but still, why are four dresses not enough?

Sylvia nods, adding Alucard’s request dutifully. ‘Not a problem at all. If I might be so bold as to suggest something, why not choose a dress like this? It would do wonders in terms of accentuating your body.’ She points to the dress that would have been your next choice, and you nod, allowing her to add it to the order.

Alucard decides to chip in. ‘You’ll want a dress with shorter sleeves for when you assist me with the cooking. One like this, perhaps?’ He pulls out a dress you hadn’t noticed before, and you nod automatically, always willing to accept Alucard’s suggestions. ‘What about a dress made from a thicker fabric? It gets so cold in the castle at times, it would be worth you having a warmer option.’ You can’t argue with that logic; you point to another dress that caught your eye, giving Sylvia your desired altercations for both it and the two other dresses they suggested.

After jotting everything down, Sylvia nods. ‘Alright, so seven dresses total. Will that be enough for now?’ You nod emphatically before Alucard can open his mouth, and undoubtedly protest that it isn’t. ‘Perfect. Now then,’ She turns to face Alucard. ‘As you seem so intent on spoiling your wife, why not spoil yourself and pick out some underwear for her while I’m getting her measured?’ Oh no. She thinks you’re his wife? As much as part of you likes hearing it, there’s no way Alucard isn’t going to make it clear that you are very much not his wife, but rather his mistress of exactly one week!

A faint blush appears on Alucard’s cheeks. ‘I think I would prefer it if my wife chose her own underwear. A woman should have some surprises, after all.’ Now you’re the one blushing. Not only did he refer to you as his wife, but now you have to choose yourself some underwear, too!

Sylvia laughs. ‘I couldn’t agree more. In that case, you wait right here while I get your wife measured. She and I have some plotting to do.’ With that, you’re whisked away without a moment to protest, dropping your basket as Alucard is left alone in the shop.

You’re led to a small room in the back, one with a full length mirror and a table covered in various apparatus, onto which Sylvia places her book. ‘Right then, where should we start? You seem quite shy, so I can measure you with the dress on. Shall we start with your bust and work down?’ That makes sense. It doesn’t make you feel much calmer about having a woman you met less than an hour ago wrapping various bits of fabric around you!

Still, it’s a necessary evil. ‘That’s fine. Sorry if you don’t have much to work with. I know I’m not particularly pretty, but I promise I’ll take good care of whatever you make me.’ You’ll treasure it, and make sure to always repair any little tears you make before they get too big.

Wrapping something you don’t recognise across your chest, Sylvia scoffs. ‘Don’t be so modest, dear. You’re quite the beauty. If you weren’t, that husband of yours wouldn’t be taking you here to get fitted like this. Sure, it’s good for you to wear clothes that actually fit, but I’m sure in the back of his mind somewhere, he wants you wearing clothes that hug all your womanly curves. There’s no shame in that, either. You have every right to feel confident with the shape of your body, and as your husband, it’s good that he admires it. The amount of so-called gentlemen I’ve had in here, begging me to shove their wives into underwear that’ll break her ribs because her shape isn’t something they like… I usually tell them to get lost. I am here to highlight, not to change.’ How does she know that isn’t exactly what Alucard wants? Maybe he would rather that you were a different shape…

Then again, it’s taken him this long to get you to the shape you’re in now, so you can’t see him wanting to alter you, especially given his very firm views on binding!

As Sylvia moves her tape elsewhere, you sigh. ‘I just wish I looked more like a woman who belongs by his side. I mean, you saw him, right? How beautiful he is? I always look so plain by comparison, and it’ll take more than new clothes to change that.’ Why are you telling her all of this? Not even Alucard understands the true depths of your insecurities, but yet here you are, pouring your heart out to her.

Sylvia pauses for a moment, before standing in front of you and crossing her arms. ‘Can I be honest with you?’ You nod, swallowing hard with worry. ‘I didn’t see plain when you walked in. I saw happy. The moment I saw you both, the first thing that popped into my head was ‘newlyweds’. You have a way with each other that only young lovers have. Also though, I sense some hesitation from you. You’re not used to being treated right. Maybe you don’t think you deserve it. Auntie Sylvia is going to let you in on a little secret though; life isn’t that fair. Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. In the end, life is less about what you deserve, and more about focusing on what you have, and what you have out there is a fine young man that wants his good lady wife to be happy. I think you should just go with it.’ She resumes her work then, giving you a lot to think about.

What she said rings true, to a certain extent. After all, you don’t think you deserve what happened in the stream, and Alucard didn’t deserve what Taka and Sumi did to him. Yet here you both are, alive and well, taking the first tentative steps of a new romance…

Looking down at Sylvia as she works on your waist, you smile. ‘You’re right. My husband and I…’ You have to ignore how much saying that makes you ache for something you know you’ll never have. ‘... We really haven’t been together too long. Sometimes I worry that he might realise I’m not good enough for him, and find someone better. Someone he could be proud of having as his wife. A real lady.’ No matter what you wear, you’re always just going to be the woman he took in from off the streets. His parents would probably be so disappointed if they were alive to meet you.

Sylva stands again, writing your measurements in her book. ‘Sweetheart, by the time I’m finished with these dresses, there’s no way anyone is going to mistake you for anything else. Being a lady isn’t about where you were born, but how you carry yourself. Trust me, dear, it’s all about attitude. You walk next to him with your head held high, and if anyone tries to tell you that you don’t belong there, you ignore them. They’re only jealous, I promise.

‘Now then, I know what’ll help make you feel better. Let me show you what kinds of underwear I can make for you.’ Oh dear, she was serious about that. You think you’d honestly rather keep talking about your insecurities.

You’re about to protest, when Sylvia walks away, returning after only a few minutes carrying scraps of fabric that surely can’t legally be classed as clothing. Yet as she holds them up, it becomes immediately clear that it’s designed to be worn by a woman, with specific parts shaped… very womanly indeed.

Fighting the urge to shriek in shock, you manage to shake your head. ‘That really isn’t necessary. All I really need are some nightgowns.’ Preferably ones that actually cover your body.

Sylvia pouts. ‘Come on, dear, there’s no need to be shy. It’s all down in black and white in my book; you have a body to die for. It would be criminal to let you walk around in anything less than the very best. Just imagine how weak at the knees you’ll make that man out there if you strip off and show him this.’ You’re not actually sure how Alucard would react. While he does compliment your beauty, it’s been a long time since he last saw your body, and it’s changed a lot. What if he really doesn’t like what he sees?

Adamant, you shake your head again. ‘I’ll look hideous. Besides, I’ve got… scars.’ Your voice becomes quiet at the end, ashamed to admit it. Even if Alucard did like your body, your scars would be a dealbreaker…

Placing the samples on the desk, Sylvia pulls up one of her sleeves, revealing a large burn mark on her forearm. ‘We all have scars, dear. Good and bad. Honestly, I don’t know how my husband can stand to look at me, six births on. But then, I don’t mind those scars. They remind me of my family. Even this one reminds me how lucky I am to be alive today. Whatever scars you have, if he loves you, and the person you are now, they won’t matter to him. I take it this means you haven’t consummated the marriage yet?’ Technically, there is no marriage, but you get what she’s asking.

When you shake your head a third time, it’s a lot softer. ‘Not yet, and I think part of it is that I don’t much like my body or my scars.’ As well as all the other issues the two of you went through last week, but that’s irrelevant.

Sylvia hums. ‘Well then, let’s change that. Trust me, nothing sets a man’s blood on fire quite like seeing a woman in fancy undergarments. The trick is to show him just enough, but hide all the bits that matter. Take this, for example.’ She lifts up something that almost resembles a nightgown, save for the unreasonable amount of breast it would expose. ‘This would give him an ample view of your cleavage, but it also hides your nipples. Just imagine his face if he saw you in this, giving him an eyeful of what he wants, but denying him the one thing he needs. Do you understand me?’ She winks, and as faint as you are from embarrassment, she’s making you imagine some really interesting things. What would Alucard do in that situation? Tug it down? Pull it off? Or would the barrier offend him so greatly that he just rips the whole thing in two?

Mouth dry, you finally nod. ‘I understand. Do you have any other suggestions?’ While it’s true you’re not at that stage with Alucard yet, one day you will be, and when you are, this would be a very nice surprise…

Knowing now that she’s finally won, Sylvia smirks. ‘Oh, but there’s so much more. Let me show you something else.’ She disappears for a moment, only to return carrying a fabric so sheer it’s basically translucent. ‘Picture this. You’re wearing a nightgown made of this, the outline of your body clearly visible, but your husband still can’t touch your bare flesh. I could even make the seams deliberately weak, so that when he inevitably tries to tear it off…’ It falls apart in his hands. You like that idea. Alucard would probably like it a lot, too.

If nothing else, Sylvia is an amazing saleswoman; you think you might just take Alucard’s advice on this and treat yourself

Still, you’re a little skeptical. ‘Do you really think any of this would work on someone like me?’

Sylvia is smirking again. ‘Sweetheart, this works on everyone. If anything, it might work a little too well on someone as gorgeous as you. I don’t think that man is going to be able to keep his hands off you if he sees you in any of this. If that is the case, and he does decide he can’t bear to spend a single moment of his day not making love to you, then it’s worth remembering I can also make maternity clothes.’ Well, after that shining endorsement…

You smile shyly. ‘Alright. Maybe just a few pieces then.’ If nothing else, wearing something like that might be quite an empowering experience.

The wicked smile on Sylvia’s face suggests that she plans to make it just that.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After a long while discussing various underthings and nightgowns, you exit the backroom, and spot Alucard standing on the other side of the shop, his blush still very much present despite how long you’ve been gone.

Subtly adjusting his trousers, Alucard walks over to meet with you both, kissing your forehead briefly before returning the basket. ‘All sorted?’ You’re so glad Alucard wasn’t in that small room with you. If he’d seen half the things you’ve seen today…

Sylvia giggles. ‘Oh, I think your wife is plenty sorted.’ She winks conspiratorially at you, only causing your cheeks to grow warm. You can’t help but feel giddy though, and a tiny bit guilty. No doubt all these extra items are going to cost Alucard a small fortune. What’s worse is he won’t even get to enjoy them with you. Not for a while, at least; you’ll show him someday, though.

Walking over to the desk, Sylva goes over your order, being deliberately vague with your underwear requests before giving Alucard a final total. ‘I know it seems a little steep, but there’s a decent amount of work here. I charge half now for materials, and half later when you collect. I’ll do any alterations for free, since you’re such a nice couple.’ Considering what you’re ordering and the amount of it, her price seems more than reasonable. Then again, you’re not the one spending money.

Still, if it bothers Alucard, the smile of his face shows no hint of such an emotion. ‘Of course. May I write down my name so you know who I am when I come to collect?’ As if anyone would forget Alucard’s face. He’s far too beautiful to be forgotten!

Sylvia’s brow furrows, but she hands over her quill nevertheless. ‘I’m not about to argue with my best customer. Still, I’m pretty sure…’ She pauses then, watching as Alucard scribbles down his name on the paper. ‘Ah yes, that does make sense, actually. May I place an additional note?’ Alucard hands her over the quill, and she jots down something, him watching her all the while. Is there an issue with his name? Maybe she’s noticed the correlation between Alucard and Dracula?

After a few moments, Alucard pulls out his coins, and hands Sylvia her fee. ‘Here we are, then. I’ll return in a few weeks then, to check on progress and collect any finished items?’ That’s so exciting! In a few weeks, you’re going to have a pretty dress that was made just for you! It’s almost like magic!

Sylvia nods, placing the coins into a pouch of her own. ‘Consider it sorted Mr… Arikado. That’s a nice name. Mr and Mrs G Arikado. I look forward to seeing you again.’ It would be nice to see her again, if you come with Alucard the next time he visits the town. Then again, you’re not sure if you could remember that fake name of his…

Waving a final goodbye to Sylvia (who decides to wink again for good measure), you and Alucard head off into the town, which still seems remarkably quiet.

As you once again take Alucard’s hand, you sigh. ‘You win, then. You’ve managed to spoil me, Mr Arikado.’

At this rate, you’re not sure that blush is ever going to fade from his cheeks. ‘It was the best I could come up with. Picturing how beautiful you’re going to look in these new dresses of yours has me quite distracted. I think we should both return to collect them in a few weeks so you can order more. After all, a lady as fine as you should always have plentiful choices when it comes to her clothing.’ You really wish you could tell him about the underwear, but that might make him burst into flames right here and now.

So instead, you bite your lip, truly flattered by his words. ‘I still can’t believe how much you spent on me. I really don’t…’ Alucard cuts you off with a quick kiss, silencing your self-doubt swiftly.

When he pulls away, Alucard looks at you, a stern expression on his face. ‘No more of that, please. In my mind, you deserve the world, and I want to give it to you. Please, accept my gifts. You’ve had so little in your life that it’s about time someone changed that. You are my love, and if I want to spend every last coin I have making you happy, I will. Relax, though. It really wasn’t that much. If anything, I feel like I should have given her more. She did us quite the fair deal.’ Well, if he’s really sure…

You lean up, giving him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Thank you. When I can, I’ll spoil you right back, okay?’ You’re not sure how, but you’ll find a way. Make him his favourite dinner maybe? Draw him a bath? Oo, or both!

Alucard squeezes your hand. ‘You’ve done that just by being in my company today. Speaking of which, where should we look next?’ That’s a good question. There’s nothing else you really want or need in town. Some food, maybe? Surely Alucard wouldn’t object to picking something up while you’re here? It’s a long walk back if you lack supernatural speed…

You’re about to suggest that, when something shiny catches your eye in the distance, the sunlight hitting it at just the right angle. Curious, you decide to lead Alucard towards it, almost gasping in surprise when you properly catch sight of it.

On a market stall that seems to be selling all kinds of jewellery, there’s a necklace with a chain made of gold, and a gemstone that almost perfectly matches Alucard’s eyes.

You have to look away, for fear that you’ll draw attention to it. Alucard has already treated you enough today, you’re not about to ask for something like that! Worse still is the fact that you know he wouldn’t even think twice about it. He’d probably pay the man and ask you to wear it right away, while you try not to tell him why you’re so drawn to it.

As smart as he is, Alucard knows you had a reason for walking this way. ‘Has something caught your eye?’ This was a mistake. You should have just ignored the shiny!

Still trying to avert your eyes, you try to be both truthful and vague. ‘Not exactly. I just saw something sparkling and wondered what it was. Can we get some lunch now? I’m getting hungry.’ Surely he’ll drop it now, if he thinks you’re hungry?

Alucard hums. ‘I think we should investigate the sparkling table. After all, I think you should have some pretty jewels to go with your new dresses.’ He starts to walk you over to the table, and once again, your eyes fall on the necklace that looks like his eyes.

Digging your heels in slightly, you manage to stop Alucard in his tracks before you reach the merchant. ‘Adrian, please? You’ve already done enough for me today. I don’t need anything more from you. Can’t we just get lunch and go home?’ As much as you’d love to wear a reminder of him around your neck at all times, you don’t need it. You’re with him all the time, so it’s not like you’re in danger of forgetting what his eyes look like.

Alucard sighs. ‘Very well. I suppose it is lunchtime now. I think I know of the perfect treat, if you’ll let me indulge you that much, at least?’ Well, it’s definitely honey then, if he’s talking about indulgence!

Giving his hand a firm squeeze, you nod. ‘Lead the way, kind sir.’ Alucard does just that, steering your both towards the same merchant you last purchased honey from. Well, here’s the real test. Will he recognise you from your last visit here?

While the man pays you little mind, he seems to know Alucard, smiling fondly. ‘Afternoon, good sir. I take it you’re after the usual today?’ The usual? Alucard visits this stall often?

Alucard smiles back at him. ‘Yes, please, and some apples. A dozen or so should be plenty.’ A dozen apples and ‘the usual’? Is that your lunch today?

As you hand over your basket for the merchant to fill, Alucard pats his pocket, frowning slightly. ‘Ah. I seem to have left my coins with the seamstress. Will you be okay here for just a moment, Princess?’ Oh no, not all his coins! He should go and get them right away, or else you really would have cost him a lot!

You let go of his hand, practically pushing him away. ‘Of course! You need to go right away, or else you won’t be able to pay for lunch, anyway.’ At least here, in broad daylight, in the centre of town, with a handful of merchants nearby, you’re pretty safe.

Alucard takes off then, leaving you alone to explain to the merchant what happened. ‘He left his coin purse in the last shop we visited. He’ll be back in just a moment.’ Hopefully that’s enough of an explanation to stop the merchant from panicking.

Instead of getting even remotely annoyed, the merchant just shrugs. ‘Easily done. Mr. Arikado is one of my best customers, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Hey, haven’t I seen you here before?’ Oh, so he does recognise you? Great, this could be awkward…

You’ll only look more suspicious if you lie. ‘I was here a while back. I purchased a jar of honey from you.’ One that you probably ended up eating more of than Alucard, knowing how generous he is when it comes to you.

The merchant clicks his fingers. ‘That’s right. Knew I’d seen you before. Had no idea Arikado had a ball-and-chain at home. He always comes off as too aloof to have a wife. You live near the forest, right?’ Is that what Alucard has told him? Or is he just guessing?

Uncertain, you nod, which seems to be an answer enough for him. ‘Nice. You wanna be careful in those woods, though. There’s a rumour going round that some of those night demon things were spotted in the forest some time last year. Of course, I think it’s a load of pig shit, but my brother swears blind his dog found an ear there a few weeks back.’ Ah. You have a sneaking suspicion that if that dog did find an ear, it was indeed the result of an encounter with a very specific ‘night demon’…

Not wanting to incriminate Alucard, you feign surprised horror. ‘How dreadful! I’ll have to stay away from the forest as best I can, then.’

The merchant nods solemnly. ‘Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it. My wife’s been miserable ever since we heard that story. Mind you, she was miserable before that. It all started when my brother and his friends disappeared from the town. They’re probably six towns over by now, stewing in their own… Ah, Mr Arikado. Any joy? Your wife mentioned you misplaced your coins. Getting distracted by having such a beauty with you, today?’ Is everyone determined to pay you empty compliments today?

Alucard sticks his hand in his pocket, this time bringing out his pouch. ‘I fear I must be. Still, I can hardly complain. Here, an extra few silvers for your patience.’ He tosses the coins into the merchant's hand almost lazily before picking up the now-full basket. You and he bid the merchant a courteous farewell before you head back towards the woods, apparently on your way back to the castle.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It becomes immediately clear that you’re not heading straight back to the castle when Alucard decides to sit down against the trunk of a tree, and spreads his legs out so that they’re wide apart. ‘No cape today, so I’m afraid you’ll have to use my lap instead, if you feel comfortable with that?’ Why wouldn’t you? It’s hardly the first time he’s had you in his lap, after all. He’s comforted you many times, held your body against his…

Carefully, you take a seat on one of his strong thighs, placing your feet on the floor and looking at him expectantly. ‘So, what’s for lunch then?’ Other than apples, of course; lots of them, too.

Alucard takes his gloves off then, placing them into his pocket before grabbing an apple and… oh, it’s honey! Apples and honey, that’s your treat!

Alucard places the jar of honey next to your leg, grinning at you when he notices your eyes widening with delight. ‘Apple slices dipped in honey. It’s terribly sweet and overindulgent, but then, so is kissing you, and I’m not about to stop doing that.’ You should think not! You’d miss his kisses so much!

Taking the apple from him, you frown as you examine it. ‘We’re going to need a knife if we want to slice this.’ Maybe you could go back into town and get one? There has to be someone selling blades.

Without missing a beat, Alucard produces a small knife from one of his pockets, and requests the apple. ‘Allow me.’ He carves a piece from the apple then, reaching down to open the honey and dunk the slice straight into it.

After a few moments, Alucard raises the apple slice up again, offering it to you. Feeling bold, you lean down to take a bite instead of taking it from him, moaning at the sweet flavour. This is definitely not a treat you’ll be able to indulge in often, so you intend to enjoy this as much as you can.

Going in for the remainder of the slice, your tongue brushes against Alucard’s fingers of its own volition, lapping up a few spare drops of honey as you finish your mouthful with a satisfied swallow.

With the taste of honey still fresh in your mouth, you bite your bottom lip, looking at Alucard questioningly. ‘More?’ He swallows thickly at that, but he complies, barely even looking at the apple as he cuts and dips another slice into the honey.

When Alucard presents you with the second slice, you do the same thing as you did last time, biting off and swallowing half before going in for the rest. Alucard watches you as your tongue once again laps the honey from his fingers, and it occurs to you that he might like a slice himself.

Before you can ask, Alucard is speaking, his voice low and strained. ‘More?’ You nod, not about to pass this up. You can always give him the next slice.

As he cuts and dips a third slice, you can’t help but notice the outline of something long and solid straining against his trousers. You’re about to ask if he’s okay, when he presses the apple slice between your lips without warning, causing you to moan around the welcome intrusion as your tongue already makes a start on his fingers, a small amount of honey dripping onto your chin as you begin to lose focus.

Your attention is suddenly regained when you feel a sharp scratch against your lip, followed by a metallic tang, its bitterness taking away from the sweet taste of honey. Did you catch your lip on something? Maybe you bit too hard without realising?

With a dull thud, Alucard tosses his knife aside, weaving his hand into your hair and bringing your mouth to meet his in a sudden and passionate kiss that almost steals your breath away. You can’t help but get swept away by the torrent of emotions rushing through your body as your hands grip the lapels of his coat, trying to bring him closer still.

Alucard growls at that, the hand that had been feeding you only a few moments ago now gripping your body just above your hip, keeping you in place as he continues to plunder your mouth.

For a brief moment, Alucard separates his lips from yours so you can breathe, before coming straight back in for more. You moan in delight when you feel something firm and wet brush against the cut on your lip, realising almost immediately that it’s his tongue. He starts swiping the area carefully, collecting a few drops of blood as his bottom lip rubs against the honey you’d managed to spill slightly with haste.

A familiar warmth begins to form between your legs, burning with more urgency than before. If this was a dream, that spare hand of Alucard’s would slide under your dress and slide inside you, making you fall apart with only a few practised strokes and the promise of feeling something even bigger once he’s done.

This is definitely reality though, as after only a few more seconds, Alucard lets go of your hair and pulls away, panting heavily with effort. ‘I shouldn’t… Fuck, I apologise. That was terribly uncouth. I didn’t take you out today to try and seduce you like this. Is your lip alright? I didn’t make it worse, did I? May I see it?’ In truth, you think it’s already starting to heal; mouth wounds do tend to heal fairly quickly, after all.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, you try to calm him down. ‘It’s okay, Adrian. We both got a little carried away. You’ve already made it clear that we’re taking things slowly, remember? It’s honestly okay, and so is my lip. Everything is perfect.’ Apart from the fact that the warmth between your legs is still very much burning, but it should settle on the way home.

Alucard breathes a sigh of relief, his hand returning to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. ‘I can agree on that much. Things are definitely perfect. However, there is something I want to bring up. Something important.’ Oh dear. This can’t be good. He’s looking so sombre now, not like the man who was teasing your lip with his tongue a few heartbeats ago!

You frown, deeply concerned. ‘What is it?’ Is it about you? About what happened the last time you were here? Is that why he’s been so kind today? To soften the blow he’s about to deal?

The backs of Alucard’s long fingers brush against your cheek, trying to keep you calm you assume. ‘When we first met, you mentioned that your father left you a piece of paper with strange symbols on it. Words, as you’re now aware of. You also mentioned that you kept it. Forgive me if I’m being out of line, and feel free to reject my suggestion, but if you want, I can help you read it. Give you some form of closure, if there is such a thing to be found.’ Oh wow. The letter! You’d almost forgotten all about that, so caught up in your new life with Alucard! He would really help you to read it? You think you’re pretty good with reading now, but having him you help…

Giving Alucard a kiss on his forehead as to not re-instigate the kissing frenzy, you smile. ‘I hid it not far from here. I can show you.’ With that, you both stand, and you lead Alucard to the location of your letter, hoping that it’s still there.

If not, you’re going to be left with a lot of unanswered questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, a message from Zalkyria; 'Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo I hope the chapter was to your liking~!'
> 
> And one from the_littlest_raindrop; 'The reference was my idea ^3^'
> 
> From both of us, thank you very much for reaching, and we hope to catch you here on Wednesday for the next part of this epic saga (Well, technically just saga, because that already implies... We'll just hope to see you soon) ^.^


	29. Dear Daughter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Back again with with the regular update :D Warning; there’s gonna be feels ;w;
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

Walking through the woods next to his love, Alucard desperately tries to process the veritable whirlwind of emotions that have overwhelmed him in such a short space of time.

Taking her into town has given him a lot of insight, and not all of it overly pleasant. He had no idea that her self-esteem issues ran so deep…

In fairness, he shouldn’t know that. Overly sensitive hearing or not, he should have distracted himself enough to keep himself from eavesdropping. Still, a small doubt had tugged away at the back of his mind. What if she called out to him, and he didn’t hear her? While Sylvia had seemed like quite the lovely individual, it is difficult to truly know anyone these days. No, listening in for any signs of discomfort or distress was something he had to do, because he swore that he would.

While he did hear words of distress, they weren’t the kind he was expecting.

It breaks his heart, hearing anyone talk about the woman he loves like that. It’s even more cutting when the words are coming from her own lips. She truly thinks that little of herself that she doesn’t even feel worthy of standing by his side? Is she unable to comprehend her own beauty? When he calls her his princess, it is not mere flattery. In fact, she is finer than any princess or noblewoman he has ever seen. Hearing her talk about herself like that is a dreadful experience, one he never wishes to repeat. 

If they did not have to take their relationship so slowly, Alucard would be able to make great progress with her self-confidence. He would have her naked on his bed every single night, and he would kiss every last inch of her, worship her with his mouth until there is no doubt that he means the words he says. Then, he would open her legs, and torment her with his tongue until she admits that she is beautiful, and that she belongs by his side as much as he belongs at hers. He’d do it as many times as he had to, and maybe even a few more for good measure. In fact, there’s nothing stopping him from doing just that, once they are at that stage. For now, he’ll have to try different approaches to help build up her self-esteem. 

Her new dresses will help a lot. It can’t be good for her state-of-mind, always wearing clothes that don’t fit her. Having clothes that cling to her curves will prove to her that she has a body worth showing off. Then again, it’s going to be a sweet torment for Alucard. He’s going to have to keep from running his hands over her, stroking and squeezing her body in all the places he’s been dreaming of…

… It’s just as well he’s proved to himself that he does have self-control.

The conversation he overheard about underwear was almost the death of him. He’s glad he rejected the offer to choose some for her, because she might have fainted upon the mere sight of the scandalous things he would have selected. Still, from what he heard, it sounds like she might have picked a few scandalous things of her own. Garments that leave little to the imagination, that give him a view of the breasts that have been the star of so many fantasies without allowing them to see them in what is undoubtedly their naked perfection.

Alucard is just relieved that Sylvia took her off privately, as much as he resents the fact that she got to touch his sweet flower princess before he did. If he’d seen any of the underwear she described, it would have driven him insane with want. He’s almost ashamed of himself for thinking it, but it’s true. Just because he insisted on taking things slow, that doesn’t mean his lust for her is less than it once was. The way the seamstress had spoken about her, explained all the ways that certain pieces would highlight her body… It took every last ounce of restraint for him not to walk over to them and take a peak. A hint of what he has to look forward to, should she ever decide to show him. If nothing else, it would have fueled his fantasies the next time he decides to take himself and his raging emotions into his own hands.

When he left his name, Alucard had been so sorely tempted to leave a note begging Sylvia to make the neckline on each of the dresses just a tiny bit lower. Instead, he had left a different request, and paid the seamstress her due, plus a little extra for her kindness, and for talking the woman she believes to be his wife into actually spoiling herself.

That had been the hardest part of it all. Hearing her being called his wife. As much as he wants her body, he wants the title of her husband more. Still, all in good time. Once they’ve both had time to work through their issues, then he’ll swoop in, if she decides that his final confession isn’t a dealbreaker.

Speaking of deal breakers, that test of his self-control with the seamstress pales in comparison to lunch. Alucard hadn’t intended for it to be so… sensual. When he offered her that slice of apple, he had no idea she’d lick his fingers clean too. He’d be mesmerised by her, caught in some kind of lustful trance. The lust that he’d managed to contain from earlier had risen once again, and he’s quite certain that if she’d moved, and his trousers had rubbed against him in just the right way, he would have dirtied his trousers like an adolescent seeing breasts for the first time. He almost did just that without even being touched when she’d looked him in the eyes and asked for more. If he’d chosen to interpret that differently…

The small cut on her lip was his breaking point. He still has no idea how he came back from that. He could taste how much she wanted him, the taste of her blood rich with want for him so much sweeter to him than the honey. Add to that the sound of her heart hammering in her chest, and the smell of her arousal, and she was ready for him. If he had pushed her to the ground, told her that he was going to claim her then and there, she would have complied. He would have taken her like an animal in heat, destroying his careful plans for taking it slow in a single moment. He wouldn’t have cared how close they are to the village. In fact, a small part of him might have even welcomed an audience. Let them all see that the beautiful woman who they condemned to a lifetime of abuse and loneliness is thriving under his care, under his touch. Their love might have only been known to each other seven short days ago, but that is irrelevant. He has loved her for much longer, as hard as it might have been to admit such a thing, and he will love her longer still. As long as they take things at their own pace, it does not matter how quickly they reach certain milestones; if he has his way, they’ll be together for a lifetime, anyway.

As amazing as that would have been, he is glad that he managed to regain enough control to stop himself. He does not want their first time making love to be anything less than that. To make love in Alucard’s mind is to be completely vulnerable, to merge with each other, body and soul, and they can’t do that. While he knows that their bodies would fit together perfectly, he knows that their souls are still too distant. He needs to spend time working on them, or else he risks wasting their first night together, and he’d hate himself for that. Besides, he needs her to know the whole truth before he can expect her to give herself to him. If he is going to take her virginity, he needs to know that she wants no one else. He does not want her to waste her first time making love on a man that she will not spend forever with, or feel like she has to stay with him just because he took it. She has almost been robbed of that choice more than once, and Alucard will not let that happen again. He wants her to make an informed decision, to choose him of her own free will, once they have both shown each other all that they are. Perhaps she’ll want to wait until marriage, so she knows that he will be fully committed to her, and not just interested in taking from her before tossing her aside? He would be satisfied with that. He’ll just have to work harder on his self-control. 

He must think of it no longer, however. For now, he has a job to do. She needs closure from this letter, and he wants to give that to her.

If she gets closure today, they’ll be one step closer to the forever that he’s been dreaming of.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It feels like a lifetime since you last visited this place. Ever since that night with the old neighbour, you’ve been avoiding this part of town entirely, for fear of being recognised by some unseen witness from that night. Then again, you look a lot different now. Not only are you older, but your face and body are fuller, no longer that of a starving woman barely acquainted with adulthood.

Walking past your old house, you feel a pang of sadness when you hear the sound of childish laughter within. You don’t ever remember laughing like that as a child, too focused on your responsibilities. It makes you happy to know that your old house is now a place of young, rather than tremendous sorrow.

You’re glad that you did not have to return here alone. Alucard is walking beside you now, carrying the basket of apples in one of his hands while the other one occasionally brushes against yours uncertain if he should grab it or not. At some point in your journey, he’d seen fit to replace his gloves, wiping the few lingering sticky spots from his fingers clean with a piece of fabric he produced from one of his pockets before sliding the fabric back on. It’s a pity really, him covering his flesh once again. It would have been nice to hold hands without the fabric barrier, despite his newfound reluctance to do so at all.

Noticing your staring, Alucard makes you both stop for a moment, placing a hand on your shoulder. ‘Is this where you grew up?’ Truthfully, you’re not sure if you did grow up. As far as you can remember, you were never much of a child. You seem to have emerged from the womb as more an adult than a child.

Still, you nod. ‘Yeah. It hasn’t really changed much. I don’t know why I thought it would have. I suppose it’s easier for places to move on than it is for people. Come on, the letter isn’t far.’ You hope it’s alright. You’d had the sense to put it in a metal box before burying it, but that’s no guarantee it’s still in one piece. Metal rusts, and it’s been so many years…

Starting to walk again, you lead Alucard to a large tree, it’s roots thick and twisted upwards in places. ‘This is the place. Wait here a moment,’ You kneel by a particularly large root, and begin to dig the soil underneath it, frowning as the damn earth clings to your fingers.

After only a few scoops, Alucard drops the basket and walks over, grabbing you gently by the shoulders and encouraging you to stand. ‘A lady like you shouldn’t have to dirty her hands like this. Allow me.’ As much as you want to argue that a gentleman shouldn’t either, you have no doubt that Alucard’s strength means he’ll be able to dig a lot faster than you, and the sooner you leave this place, the better.

Standing back, you watch as Alucard digs into the dirt with ease, his gloves staining brown as he lifts out clump after clump of earth. You regret burying it so deep now, but you hadn’t wanted to risk it being discovered for any reason; this letter is yours, and it is private. Alucard is the only other person in the world that you want to see this letter.

After only a few more seconds, his digging is interrupted by a dull thud. 

Carefully, Alucard removes some more dirt surrounding his discovery before extracting a metal box from the ground. 

While it’s true that the edges of the box have started to rust slightly, it looks almost identical to the way it did when you buried it here years ago. With any luck, that means that it’s contents might still remain untarnished! 

Well, there’s only one way to know for sure; taking a deep breath, you open the lid with shaking hands. You’re relieved to discover that the contents look identical to how they did when it was buried here, the slight yellowing of the paper the only indication that any time has passed. 

As you retrieve the letter from its box, a word instantly jumps out to you, written on the thing housing the letter. ‘My name? This is for me! That is my name, right?’ You know it is, but you want to be certain. Maybe your desperation for answers is causing your eyes to play tricks on you?

Tossing his soiled gloves into the basket, Alucard takes the letter, and nods. ‘You don’t need me to tell you that it is. This letter is addressed to you, and no one else.’ You knew it! It’s a message for you, written by your father on his deathbed…

As curious as you are, here would be a bad place to read it. ‘Can we read it at home, please?’ You’d feel a lot more comfortable reading this back where you’re allowed to be vulnerable; you’d rather Alucard didn’t have to carry you back because you’re sobbing too hard to walk.

Alucard nods. ‘Of course.’ Picking up the basket, he offers you his spare hand. ‘It’s going to be alright.’ You’re not sure if you believe that, but you take his hand anyway, still clutching the letter tightly. If you’re remembering your father correctly, you dread to think what’s in this letter. Probably him telling you that you’re useless, that he blames you for both his death and your mother’s…

Still, you need this. You have to know what it says.

With a final glance at your old house, you begin the long walk home.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

When you get back to the castle, the first thing Alucard does is drop the basket off on the kitchen table, before escorting you to your bedroom; it is your place of safety, after all. 

All the way up the stairs, you can feel your heart raging, trying to burst from your chest. This is a bad idea. You shouldn’t be reading this. Who cares what he had to say? Best case scenario, this could just be a list of all the people he owed money to, passed onto you so you could pay them off somehow. At worst, it’s everything you’ve always known, put into words at last. At least he didn’t know where you’d gone that night. How you’d failed to bring him that medicine…

Making it to your bedroom, Alucard sits up against the pillows, opening up his arms so you can settle between them in an embrace. You’d both ditched your shoes at the door, in an attempt to get comfortable; you’re probably going to be sat like this for a while.

For a few moments, you stare at the letter, before finally speaking. ‘I’m not sure if I can do this, Alucard. Knowing that my father always resented me for killing my mother is one thing, but actually hearing it, in his own words…’ It might break you, before it gives you any kind of closure.

Alucard kisses the top of your head, bringing you in close. ‘You need to do this, princess. If you don’t, you’ll never know the whole truth. Whatever is in this letter is important enough that your father wrote it on his deathbed. He needed you to read this. Please, for your own sake, read it. It might just bring you peace.’ You doubt that. More likely, it’ll bring pain, but then again, at least you’ll be able to heal the wound a little easier this time…

Giving a firm nod, you turn the letter cover over, and remove the lump of wax hiding its contents.

As you unfurl the letter, a few scraps of paper fall out. Deciding to investigate the smaller scraps first, you gasp when you realise what they are; they’re drawings. 

You’re already having to blink back the tears as you stare down at the image of a woman, smiling brightly as she rests a hand over her swollen stomach. While you’ve never seen the woman before, you know immediately who it is; it’s your mother. This must have been drawn days before she died. Weeks, at most. Who drew this? Was it your father?

As you look at the other scraps, a theme becomes clear; they’re all your mother. Her face is smiling back in each one you look at, except the last one; in the last one, she is smiling at a drawing of your father.

Confusion sets in. Why would he include these with his letter? He’d never shown you any of these when she was alive. Did he keep these from you? There is no way he could have drawn them on his deathbed. 

Desperate for answers, you pick your letter up, and begin to read it out loud.

‘Dear daughter,

‘I didn’t think it would end like this. I always thought I’d die bleeding out in a ditch somewhere, drunk and alone. You weren’t supposed to watch me die slowly like this, but I guess it’s what I deserve. I deserve for my final moments to be full of regret, because fuck knows I have plenty of them.

‘Shit, I shouldn’t curse. Your mother’ll give me an earful, if I get to see her on the other side. Seems doubtful though. Your mother was an angel, and I’m going to hell for what I’ve put you through.

‘The day your mother told me I was going to be a father, I cried. Yeah, that’s right. Your old man cried like a baby, because I couldn’t believe my ears. My wife, having our baby? I couldn’t stop crying, and promising your mother that I was going to be the best father ever. I prayed to God every night that you would get here safely. You mother did the same thing, too. She said right from the beginning that you were going to be the most special little thing we’ve ever seen. Still, that wasn’t a hard thing to predict. With a mother like her, how could you be anything less than an angel yourself?

‘I cried again the day you were born. I remember coming in to meet you, bright red and screaming in your mother’s arms. She looked so pale, and so tired, but she was grinning from ear-to-ear, telling me that I had a little girl. That was the happiest moment of my life. She gave me to you, and as I held you in my arms for the very first time, I knew I had everything I could ever want.

‘Then the smiling stopped. She went all limp, like a rag doll. I was rushed out of the room with you still in my arms, screaming louder and louder like you knew something had happened to her. I don’t know how long I was out there with you, but the next thing I knew, they told me she was dead. 

‘If I didn’t have you, I think I would have died from shock right then and there. My wife, my angel, gone forever, the babe in my arms the only living proof she ever existed in the first place. I felt my world being torn apart, and I think a part of me did die that day.

‘One of our neighbours acted as a wetnurse in the end. Used to charge us a silver a day for the privilege. I didn’t care. I’d just lost my wife, and there was no way I was losing you, too. I used to stay up some nights watching you, afraid that you were going to die on me too. You were so small, so fragile, and I was so fearful. The neighbour ended up asking if she could adopt you, but I told her no. I wish now I had said yes. You would have had a better life without me.

‘As the years went on, you got stronger, but I got so much weaker. Once I knew you were old enough to do things for yourself, I let my grief get the better of me. I spent so much of my wages on drink because it was the only way to forget her. I wanted to forget, because clinging on hurt more than I can bear. Then I’d come home, and I’d see you there, and I’d be reminded all over again. I’ve lashed out at you so much, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve any of this. You should have had a happy life with two parents who love you, but instead, you got me, a man so trapped in grief that I don’t think I know how to love anyone anymore.

‘I need you to know that no matter what I’ve said, none of this was your fault. What happened to your mother was a cruel twist of fate, and nothing more. Maybe it was even a punishment, for praying so much for my child that I neglected to pray for her mother. In either case, this was not you. The same way that my death is not on you.

‘If I was to blame anyone, it would be that doctor. Cheap bastard wouldn’t even give me the cure, if that’s what it even is. That so-called cure of his is probably nothing but cold donkey piss. No, there’s no cure for this. It’s my time, and that’s all there is.

‘Before I go, I have a few things to say. First, stay away from Mr. Georges. I’ve seen the way he looks at the young women in town, and it makes me sick. He can’t be trusted. Go to Ms Duckly instead. She’s been a recluse since her own daughter died, but if you knock on her door, I think she’ll take you in. She’ll give you a meal or two, at the very least.

‘I wish it didn’t have to end like this. It’s only now that I’m dying that I realise I had so much more to live for. If only I could make it through this, I would have done better. I would have changed things around, for both of us. No more drinking, no more fighting. I’d have been a proper father, just as I’d sworn that I would be. In fact, I realise now that I’ve totally failed, because you can’t even read this letter. I pissed so much away that I never even sent you to school. I’m sorry, and I hate myself for this. You were my beautiful baby, and I was a monster. 

‘If by some miracle you ever get to read this letter, know that for a while, you truly were loved, and it’s not your fault that you lost that. It was mine. I took that away from you like the bitter bastard that I am. I hope that you’re reading this now from a happier place, with someone that can care for you far better than I ever could. I hope you blossom into a lovely young woman, and marry a man that will place the world at your feet. I hope you find enough joy to make up for all that I did, and I hope you can find it in you to forgive me for what I’ve done. I’m so sorry.

‘I’m going to leave you now. I can feel it. If there’s still enough strength in me, I’m going to find some sketches for you, too. They’re of your mother, but I think you’ll know that. You’re far too beautiful not to see the family resemblance.

‘Once again, I’m sorry for all of this. If we ever meet in the next like, maybe I’ll have the guts to tell you in person. Then again, angels don’t belong in hell. 

‘With what little love there is left in me,

‘Your father.’ You end up choking on that last word, tossing the letter to one side before burying your face into Alucard’s chest.

Alucard doesn’t try to utter a single word. Instead, he just wraps his arms around you even tighter, and lets you sob into his shirt until your lungs ache and your eyes sting. 

He loved you. Your father loved you, as best he could. He never blamed you for your mother’s death. He tried so hard to care for you, but he just couldn’t. He was suffering so much, and nobody helped him. Nobody cared about his suffering. Even the neighbour charged him for the privilege of keeping you, his only family, alive. While he might have failed, at least he didn’t just give up on you. He tried, throughout all of his pain…

You manage to choke out a few words. ‘He… I’m not… I…’ you don’t even know what you’re going to say, but you feel like you should say something, tell Alucard what you’re thinking.

Alucard gently shushes you, stroking your back. ‘You don’t have to speak. Just cry. There will be a time for words later.’ As if somehow needing her permission, your sobs turn into agonised wails, all these years of pent up emotions finally being let free. It’s like a massive rock is being removed from your soul, and as much as it hurts, you’re finally starting to feel free.

After what feels like days of wailing, you finally find that your tears start to try, and your breathing becomes even enough that you can speak. ‘It was never my fault. He didn’t blame me, for anything. I wish he’d told me that. For so long, I thought he hated me.’ But he didn’t. Not really. Only his grief hated you…

Alucard hums. ‘While that does little to excuse his poor treatment of you, you’re right. He loved you, more than he realised. After all, I know of few dying men that would take the time to write a letter like this. That he wrote this at all is a true testament to how much he cared, and how much he needed you to hear the truth. No matter what might have happened, your parents loved you. Both of them.’ He’s right. They did. They always did. You just never knew.

You choke out a small laugh. ‘I think he forgot that I didn’t know how to read for a moment. He must have been really out of it when he wrote this.’ From what you can remember, he would have been; he wasn’t quite the same when he got sick.

Kissing the top of your head, Alucard sighs. ‘Perhaps. Perhaps also there was a part of him that wanted you to find someone that could read this to you. Someone who had taken you in, and cared for you enough to do this. I only wish you’d found that person sooner.’

For the first time in a long time, that’s something the two of you don’t agree on. ‘I’m glad I didn’t. If someone had taken me in, I never would have met you. While it’s true I had to live through things no child ever should, I survived. I survived, and now look at me. I live in a castle, with a handsome man who buys me dresses and cooks for me. I have the kind of life my parents would have wanted for me, even if I did get it a little later than they might have hoped.’ You’re not entirely sure they’d like you being anyone’s mistress either, but at the same time, they’d be grateful that you’ve found love at all.

Reaching down, Alucard picks up the drawing of your parents, smiling. ‘I suppose that is true. At least, I hope they would approve. Even if they aren’t that keen on me, at least they know you’ll never want for anything ever again. That would be worth something to them.’ More than anything, if that letter is to be believed. No more hardship, for the rest of your life…

Looking at the drawing, you have an idea. ‘Is there anyway I could display these somewhere? I’d like to look at them as often as I can.’ That, and if they’re displayed properly, there’s less chance of them being destroyed.

Alucard’s answer is immediate. ‘Of course. These should be kept safe. Also, would…’ He takes a deep breath, almost as if he’s about to regret what he’s suggesting. ‘If you would allow me to, I could paint you a portrait of them. Your mother, at the very least. I might need some help with your father, if it’s not too painful.’ He would really do that for you? That would be the most wonderful thing imaginable.

With fresh tears welling up, you nod. ‘I would love that. More than anything else in the world. It would mean so much to me.’ As much as you’ve been trying not to take advantage of his kindness, this is one gesture you can’t possibly refuse.

Alucard leans down, kissing your forehead. ‘Then consider it done. I’ll paint them, and you can choose to display them anywhere you want. This is your home, after all. You should have some say in the decorations.’ Truthfully, if you could change one thing, it wouldn’t be the interior design; it would be the things at the front door.

Now isn’t the time to bring that up. Now is the time to allow yourself to find comfort in Alucard’s arms, and to finally put your parents to rest properly in your mind.

It feels as if a massive wound is finally starting to close, and you know you have Alucard to thank for that. If anything, this experience has only made the two of you closer, as you’ve allowed him to see you at your most emotionally vulnerable.

When the time comes, you hope he’ll be willing to lay himself bare too; 

You’re quite serious about those corpses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now that that’s over with, there’s only one thing left… More fluff :D
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and hope to see y’all on Friday ^.^


	30. Into The Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Here we are, as promised ^.^ Warning for spooky scary skeletons, but that's about it. Enjoy ^.^

It’s been about a month now since you and Alucard declared your love for each other, and you’re beginning to grow accustomed to being the recipient of such a love. The harshness that Alucard once showed you has been replaced entirely with softness. It’s far rarer to see Alucard in a bad mood these days, at least while you’re around. He’s been especially considerate recently, considering what happened with your father’s letter.

It had taken days for you to properly stop crying, and Alucard had been there for you through it all. For many nights he slept beside you, holding you close as you curled up and cried into his chest. It’s been difficult, finding out that everything you thought about your childhood was false, but you’re getting there. One day at a time, as Alucard keeps reminding you. 

When he’s not been comforting you directly, Alucard has been doing exactly as he promised, and working on the portrait of your parents. You enjoy sitting on his bed and watching him work, his brow furrowed as he tries to recreate the image of your mother from the sketches. Watching him paint is mesmerising. The way his slender fingers wrap around the brush, his brow occasionally furrowing in concentration as he delicately adds stroke after stroke of paint is a sight to behold. If you had the skill, you’d like to paint him painting, to show him how you see him. Then again, if he knew the truth depths of his beauty, he might finally realise how out of place you are…

Not that Alucard hasn’t tried protesting to the contrary. He keeps insisting that you pose for a proper portrait when your new dresses are ready, an event that isn’t far away; soon you’ll be paying Sylvia a visit, to collect whatever she’s made. You can’t wait to see her creations. It’s one more thing to look forward to, eclipsed only by whatever Alucard has in store for you today.

This morning at breakfast, Alucard had told you that he has a surprise for you, one he’s apparently been meaning to share with you for quite some time. From what little he’s told you, it’s a library of sorts, hidden underground not far from here. He’s being deliberately vague with the details, but that suits you fine; you’ll find out soon enough.

Alucard is leading you to it right now as it happens, passing Taka and Sumi’s bodies without so much as wrinkling his nose. Meanwhile, you’re trying not to create a doormat of vomit, the smell of decay something quite unholy. The sooner you bring up the matter of disposing of them, the better. It’s amazing that Trevor and Sypha even came in to visit, rather than just burning the whole castle down in disgust.

Noticing your retching, Alucard sighs. ‘You won’t be able to smell them where we’re going. It’s just in these ruins over here.’ He points to a collection of stone pillars and rubble, the remains of an old house if you had to guess. You just wish you knew whose house it was…

Clinging tightly to Alucard’s gloved hand, you try to ignore the stench by talking. ‘I’m looking forward to seeing the books. Is it a big library?’ It can’t be that big, surely? It would be difficult, hiding anything too big underground.

Alucard chuckles. ‘I’ll let you decide that for yourself once you see it.’ That’s usually code for ‘I’ve seen bigger, but I don’t think you have.’ It must be a decent size then, but probably not as big as Alucard’s…

Leading you onto a platform, Alucard begins fiddling with a mechanism of some kind, and you let out a large yelp as the platform begins to descend. ‘It’s alright. That’s supposed to happen. It’s completely safe, I swear. I built it myself not long after…’ He pauses for a moment, as if he’s about to revert back to his former secretive tendencies. ‘... After my friends and I defeated my father. This library was built by Trevor’s ancestors, gifted to me when he and Sypha departed. I’ve been working on restoring it, as best I can. As morbid as some of its contents are, it is important to preserve the knowledge contained here. Without it, my father would still be alive, free to wipe out humanity without contention. It is a blessing and a curse, one more reason it should be protected.’ Just how much is stored down here then, if it’s the work of more than one generation?

You’re about to ask, when you catch sight of a portrait, hanging slightly askew on the wall. ‘Who is that? One of Trevor’s ancestors?’ It must be, because of the location, but it’s hard to believe; the man in the portrait is quite beautiful.

Alucard nods. ‘Yes. Leon Belmont, the first of Trevor’s line to take up arms against my father. I don’t know all that much about him, unfortunately. From what little information I’ve found, he seems to have built this place about four hundred years ago. It also seems he and my father were acquainted at one point, but I couldn’t tell you how. For whatever reason, Leon seems to have sworn vengeance against my father, and that vengeance has been passed on down from father to son for generations. It’s fortunate that Trevor and I didn’t murder each other on principle when we first met, as close as we came.’ That doesn’t surprise you that their friendship had such a violent beginning, now you know more about the relationship between their families. It’s more surprising that they’re even able to be in the same room as each other, never mind being friends…

Watching as Leon’s portrait slowly becomes more and more distant, you hum. ‘I’m grateful that you didn’t. You need more friends in your life.’ Now that he’s technically one down now; you’re more than a friend now.

The platform comes to a jarring stop, making you jump again. ‘Here we are. The Belmont’s collected knowledge is just through that door. Are you ready?’ Surely there’s nothing much to be ready for, right? It’s smaller than the one in the castle, after all.

When you nod, Alucard steps off the platform, offering you his hand as he leads you over to the door. What kind of books will this library have in it? Fantastic tales of fighting majestic beasts, books on the best way to defend against night creatures? Will you even be able to read them? Alucard had offered you a book once that was in an unfamiliar language, after all. Oh, but maybe he could teach you a new language! That would be wonderful!

Opening the door, Alucard allows you to step inside first, and you frown; it’s so dark in here! How are you supposed to read the books at all if you can’t see them? 

A faint click sounds off behind you, and the room slowly fills with light. The lighter it gets in here, the faster one thing becomes abundantly clear; this place is far bigger than any library you’ve ever seen before! Everywhere you look, the walls are covered with books, their spines in every colour imaginable. This is incredible! Trevor really just handed all of this over to Alucard? It’s the most wonderful collection you’ve ever seen before!

Staring back at Alucard, you can’t help but grin at him in wide eyed joy. ‘This is… am I even allowed in here? This place seems far too special for someone like me.’ Loved by your parents or not, you’re still a peasant who was illiterate a year ago. You’d never dreamt of having access to something like this before!

Alucard walks over to meet you with a small smile on his face, and kisses your forehead once. ‘Yes, you are. This place is technically part of the castle now, after all. I couldn’t possibly deny the princess of the castle access to her own property, could I?’ There he goes again, making you feel more special than you have any right to be. How you could have found someone to love you this much is baffling, but you’ve spent far too long questioning it to want to question it further. If Alucard is willing to share this with you, you’re not going to complain or argue any further. After all, your father wanted you to find someone to give you the world, and Alucard has been doing a very good job of that!

… It’s just a pity you won’t get to marry the man who’s giving you everything you could ever want and more.

Feeling giddy at the thought of reading all these books, you take Alucard’s hand, asking for guidance. ‘Where should we even start? This place is huge!’ And full of oddities but the looks of it; is that a massive pile of bones over there?!

Keeping you close, Alucard leads you into the treasure trove of information, and begins to tell you of all its wonders.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After what could have been hours for all you know, your tour with Alucard reaches an abrupt halt when you see something that makes your stomach lurch uncomfortably; a collection of skulls, stored inside a glass cabinet.

Promptly forgetting whatever it is Alucard is currently saying, you feel compelled to walk over to them, morbid curiosity taking hold. They look human, as far as you can tell. Why would the Belmonts have so many human skulls down here? Were they studying them? If that’s the case, shouldn’t they have notes nearby? You don’t see any notes…

As you stand by the glass, the answer becomes painfully clear; these aren’t actually human. At least, you’ve never met a human with teeth like that.

You jump when Alucard places a hand on your shoulder, and confirms your suspicions. ‘First and foremost, the Belmont’s hunt vampires. They like to keep trophies.’ That’s horrible! Why would anyone want to keep a skull like this as a trophy?

Your eyes fall onto one skull in particular, so small that if you put both your hands out flat and hold it, it wouldn’t cover the whole space. ‘That’s not an adult’s skull, is it?’ It’s far too small. A child of some kind, then?

The fingers on your shoulder twitch. ‘You might not know this, but babies are born with their skull bones in several parts. According to the studies I’ve read, these bones usually fuse at about two years old.’ He points to gaps in the skull, where the bones haven’t fused yet. ‘Consider also that the two year rule is for humans. My kind grow up fast. This child would have still been in its cradle when the Belmonts came.’ An image fills your mind, one so vivid it brings tears to your eyes. You imagine an infant, one with hair and eyes like Alucard, terrified as a stranger bursts into his room, and calls him a monster. A little baby, so pure and innocent, cursed by its own existence… how could anyone harm a child like that?

A thought comes into your mind, something that might come up in the future. ‘Has Trevor ever killed a child like this?’ Not that you’re even considering having children with Alucard, but if it did come up…

Alucard sighs. ‘No. At least, I don’t think so. I’d like to think if he let me live, he might be merciful. This isn’t really a subject I would like to discuss today. I took you down here to make you happy, not to depress you further. Perhaps you would like me to show you a book on magic or something?’ Magic? Like those street performers the inquisition found once? They made a coin disappear, then pulled it out from behind someone’s ear! Then again, that can’t be what he means, because you saw the man that did it slip the coin into his sleeve… What does Alucard mean then?

Still, it should at least distract you from the skulls. ‘Okay, sure. Show me the magic.’ From his display of generosity in town, you know for a fact that Alucard is no stranger to making coins disappear… right into the pockets of merchants!

Leading you through several very tall bookcases, Alucard selects a book, opening it on a seemingly random page. ‘Here we are. A basic elemental spell. It should apparently allow the magic user to create a small blob of water that can be launched up to half a mile away, if desired. I must say, I can’t really see the point of such a thing. There must be a more exciting spell in here…’ As he begins to flick through the book, you can only stare at him in wonder. There are people who can summon water just like that? Without a bucket or a stream?

Despite his apparent disappointment, you still can’t believe it. ‘People can just make water like that? Can you do it? Do you need to be born special to do it?’ You’re willing to bet that’s a yes. Alucard can probably do stuff like this, being part-vampire, but it seems far-fetched for random humans to be able to learn this stuff. 

Alucard pauses for a moment, noting your interest in the subject. ‘With the right training, anyone can use magic from a book like this. Some people are more magically-inclined from birth, but other than that, it’s a fairly inclusive field of study. Would you be interested in learning?’ He could teach you these things? He really could?!

You can barely contain your enthusiasm. ‘You could teach me how to use magic? To create water from thin air?’ Even if he thinks it’s pointless, you can see at least one use; you’d never go thirsty again!

Alucard nods. ‘I could. I’m not the best magical teacher, but I could certainly teach you a few basic things. You have to understand that these things take time, however. It could take you years to even learn the fundamentals. It’s not because I’m deliberately keeping knowledge from you, I swear. You know I wouldn’t offer to teach you if I was unwilling to teach you everything.’ Of course you do. Why wouldn’t you? Alucard has never held anything back from you, as far as you’re aware. Why even bring it up?

Oh. You think you know why. He mentioned once that Taka and Sumi didn’t trust him, that they thought him a liar. Maybe he tried to teach them, but they didn’t understand it and chose to blame him for their lack of understanding?

Placing a hand on Alucard’s sleeve, over where you know his scar to be, you give him the reassurance he needs. ‘I know, Adrian. You’ve always been such a wonderful teacher. Patient, kind… even if you are a bit of a perfectionist. If you say you’re going to teach me, I believe you. Besides, it’s not urgent for me to learn this, anyway. Not when compared to things like reading and cooking. We have all the time in the world anyway, right? I’m going to stay with you forever, if you want me to.’ Unless he’s changed his mind about you being with him, you have no doubt that the castle will forever be your home.

Alucard places the book back on the shelf, before grabbing both of your hands. ‘I want you to. I never want to live a single day without you by my side. I’m glad that you seem to feel the same way. It makes that aim feel even more achievable. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to keep showing you the benefits of living with me, as few in number as they are. You are free to visit this place as often as you choose, and you are of course welcome to read anything in here. Do be a little cautious with the artifacts, though. I can’t stand the thought of you getting injured.’ To be honest, even if you did want to come here, you wouldn’t come alone. A lot of this information would probably go over your head, so having Alucard nearby to help you would be a must.

You squeeze his hands once before letting go, taking a step back so you can gaze at the bookcase properly. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to read most of these. I take it some of them are in a foreign language?’ Especially if all this knowledge has been here for centuries; even you know that language changes over time.

Closing the distance between you, Alucard takes a look at the books behind you, his face not too far from your own. ‘Quite a few of them, I should guess. I couldn't tell you exactly how many, however. If you ever want some assistance translating things, I might be able to help. I can speak many languages, after all.’ That doesn’t surprise you. He’s so smart. And beautiful. And close… So close. Would he be offended if you leaned forward and gave him a little kiss? He usually makes the first move, but would it really be that bad if you made the first move? He does seem to like kissing you, and you are a couple. Surely he wouldn’t mind if you wanted to give him a little kiss?

Deciding that overthinking it will be a bad thing, you move your head forward, pressing your lips against his.

Alucard’s reaction is immediate, gently pushing you back against the bookcase and placing his hands on your hips. One of your hands sneaks up so you can weave it in his hair, a soft sigh leaving Alucard’s lips as he continues to enjoy the kiss.

When you tilt your lips away to breathe, Alucard brings his lips to your ear, tugging softly on your lobe before whispering to you. ‘You have the sweetest lips I have ever known. Might I kiss them again?’ It makes you weak at the knees when he speaks in your ear like that, and you suspect he knows it; as if he needs to convince you to give him more.

Chewing on your bottom lip, you think back on that kiss with the honey. The way it felt when Alucard’s tongue had swiped against your bottom lip as he lapped up blood and honey from your mouth. While he hasn’t done anything like it since, maybe if he was offered…

Tugging on Alucard’s hair so he’ll pull back a little, you try your best to look appealing. ‘Would you like… You know that thing you did with your tongue? In my… Do you want to do that again?’ You’re burning up now, embarrassed that you can’t just tell him what you want. Maybe you should show him?

Before you get the chance, Alucard’s eyes light up with surprise before he smirks at you, drinking in the sight of your blush. ‘Yes, I very much would.’ That’s all the warning you get before his lips are on yours again, reuniting with even more passion this time.

After a few moments, you feel the gentle pressure of Alucard’s tongue pressing against your lips before it slides through them, entering your mouth and rubbing against your own. You moan as his tongue and yours begin to slide against each other, this kiss feeling more intimate than any that has come before it. Would he mind if you put your tongue in his mouth, too?

Deciding to be bold once again, you slide your tongue up past his lips and into his mouth, taking care to avoid his teeth. It’s Alucard’s turn to groan then, his fingers twitching as they remain painfully still at your waist, as if he’s afraid to move them. 

Breaking the kiss with a few heavy pants, you stare straight up at him. ‘Touch me.’ Alucard’s whole face turns red, and you begin to regret your decision; you really should have asked him, rather than demanding it like that.

You swear you see something inside Alucard break as he comes back for more, his tongue much more urgent now as his hands finally start to move, sliding up and down your sides as if he’s mapping out the shape of your waist. Your spare hand decides to move up into his hair too, allowing his hands to explore you without hindrance. They take the offer easily, sliding over your stomach before coming to rest just underneath your breasts. 

Without warning, Alucard tears his mouth away from yours. You’re about to drag it back again when he flicks your hair to the side with his nose and buries his face in the crook of your neck, sucking hard against the sensitive skin there. Your knees buckle at the sensation, Alucard’s firm grip and the bookcase behind you the only things keeping you from falling onto the floor. Your nipples start to stiffen as Alucard’s lips explore the expanse of your neck, and you’re so tempted to grab his hands and bring them up to toy with your breasts properly.

Alucard’s mouth begins to kiss its way across your chest, whispering into your skin as he goes. ‘You’re so beautiful. I can’t believe that you’re all mine.’ You rub your legs together at that, wishing you had more friction down there to ease the ache that’s beginning to consume you. ‘One day, I’m going to have you naked on my bed, and I’m going to touch, lick, and kiss every inch of you. You have no idea what you do to me.’ One of his hands slides down and grabs your ass firmly, and your body thrusts up against him, his chin dipping in between your breasts as his lips continue to move against you.

Then, as if woken from a trance, Alucard pulls away, and you have to grip the bookcase to keep from collapsing. ‘It seems that once again your beauty has caused my self-control to falter. Forgive me.’ You really wish he’d stop apologising. Does he not think you enjoy kissing him like that?

Still breathing rapidly from your encounter, you try to smile. ‘Stop that. If I didn’t like it, I’d tell you to stop. As it is, I wish you would kiss me like that more often.’ Daily, if you had your way, but somehow you don’t think he’ll go for that.

Alucard lets out a breathy laugh. ‘Kissing you like this is the sweetest form of torture in many ways, but I want it so desperately that I don’t care. No more today, though. Even I have my limits, and if we kept going, I’m afraid they would become stretched too far, and neither of us are ready for what that means.’ While that may be true in a sense, when Alucard kisses you like that, you do feel ready. Maybe not to take him inside you, but ready for more than just a kiss. Something to bring up with him in the future perhaps? 

For now, you nod. ‘Alright. No more today. Could we go and get some lunch now, maybe? I’m starting to feel hungry.’ In truth, you’re fine, but you could really do with a distraction now.

Alucard smiles, relieved that the conversation has changed topics. ‘Of course. Come on, we can always come back later. There is still much I can show you.’ Oh, but there is still a lot you would like to see…

Not wanting to take Alucard’s hand in case it tests his resolve, you follow him out of the Belmont library, taking one final glance at all the books you hope to explore.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

This torment can’t go on. Alucard can’t stand this any longer.

She’s getting so much more confident now, a massive change to the woman that once couldn’t even look him in the eye without whimpering. That it was her that instigated the kiss, confident that her affects were not going to be met with disgust or anger… He’s proud of her. She should be more confident. She has every right to act with him just as he acts with her. They are a couple, and that kind of equality is important.

Oh, but it was more than a kiss.

Alucard had almost lost his mind when she’d asked for his tongue. She’d enjoyed it that much when he’d had it in her mouth that day in the forest? Oh, but of course she had. It’s intimate, and it’s personal, and of course she wants that with him. She loves him, just as he loves her. Still, to ask for such a bold request…

His dick starts to throb as Alucard remembers her demand. She told him to touch her. She didn’t ask, she told him, and he was so powerless to obey. Her body isn’t that frail little thing it once was, and now he knows that. He’s felt for himself that she’s got curves now that make him feel weak at the knees, and he can’t wait to see what she’ll look like when she has clothes that show them off. They deserve to be highlighted, to be worshipped, but only by him. Nobody else can touch her like he can.

He’s an animal, every bit the demon his father’s blood marks him as. Why is he like this? One moment, he’s so in love, watching her as she happily looks at books. He can see the two of them standing side-by-side, promising to spend eternity together as man and wife. He can see himself building a life with her, one filled with love and joy and every other wonderful thing he can give her. His intentions are pure, and noble, and good. He wants only the best for her, wants to watch as she grows more and more as a person under his careful nourishment of her mind, body, and soul. 

Then there is the part of him that longs for her body, that would bed her without care. She trusts him so completely, and there’s a part of him that wishes she wouldn’t. Even when he was whispering his lewd intentions into her breasts, she made no move to stop him. He could have yanked down that dress and had one of her nipples in his mouth in less time than it takes for her erratic heart to beat. He could have fallen to his knees and made his way underneath her skirts, and slid his tongue against totally different lips. All the different ways he wanted to take her, he could have done, because he could smell for himself that she was ready to take him. 

Alucard is wondering if his father’s blood is exactly what caused this conflict. If his understanding is correct, Dracula wasted little time seducing his human bride. Then again, Alucard knows his mother was more confident than the woman walking with him now. Still, the point remains; the human in him needs to take this slowly, to heal, whereas the vampire in him wants what he feels he has every right to claim.

If there is one thing Alucard will not do, it is fall victim to his own desires. There is no need for him to act with such haste. 

Having said that, Alucard knows that the biggest obstacle holding him back from making love with her is the act itself, a cruel contradiction that makes his head ache. He can’t make love until his soul is healed, but he can’t heal his soul without making love. How is he supposed to overcome such a thing? While her presence often causes him to forget his past experiences, they are still there, always in the back of his mind. Perhaps now that he has helped her heal her biggest wound, he should focus on his own? Surely she would be all-too willing to help with that? She is his lover, and she always seems to know exactly how to make him happy. Besides, surely she is thinking of marriage now? How long is courtship supposed to last? Is he drawing out the process too much for her liking? 

As they walk past an assortment of bones, Alucard’s mind wanders back over to the skulls in the cabinet. She had been heartbroken over the child, he could feel it. Did it remind her of her own tragic childhood? Perhaps it reminded her of him, and what would have been his own fate, had a Belmont stormed Dracula’s castle in his infant years? There’s even a chance that she was thinking of any children they might have together, as if such a thing is even…

That is still something to discuss later. For now, he has lunch to prepare. He’s glad that she’s still taking her promise to never starve herself again seriously. It means that she does truly wish to stay, and he’s glad. Life without her at this point is a life he never wishes to live.

All the more reason for him to finally allow himself to heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... More steamy to come in future chapters ;)
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and we'll be back Monday with a new update ;)


	31. My Fair Lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> As promised, our scheduled Monday chapter ^.^ We hope you enjoy :3

It’s been five weeks since you went to get fitted for a dress (which ended up turning into seven, thanks to Alucard’s insistence), and now it’s time to see what progress Sylvia has made.

Truthfully, you’d be happy to walk away with even a single dress today. Wearing dresses that are a little loose is all fine and good, but having a dress made to fit you exactly… You’re not sure if you’ve ever had that before. It’s such a wonderful luxury, and you can’t believe that Alucard has done this for you. If this is how he’s willing to treat a mistress, you can only dream about how he’d treat a wife, if he ever decided to take one.

Still, you shouldn’t be surprised that Alucard is being so generous with you. He always is. It almost makes you hope that one day, he might change his mind, and decide for whatever reason that you are wife material. It’s a faint hope, but it’s there. Maybe once you're in a proper dress, looking like a real lady, he might start thinking that. If only you were prettier, the dress idea might even work.

For now at least, you get to imagine exactly what life would be like as Alucard’s wife, but not exactly. Instead of Mrs Tepes, you’re now Mrs Arikado, something you really need to remember. He’s not Adrian right now, he’s Genya, a name that will surely only draw more attention to him considering how uncommon it is. You really need to ask him about that sometime, when you’re alone again. Right now, you’re just making your way into the town itself, somehow fighting the urge to skip with glee as you grasp Alucard’s hand. He’s the one carrying the basket today, considering it’s a slightly larger one than usual; it’s going to be carrying a lot, hopefully.

Even if you’re not going to skip, you at least want Alucard to know how happy you are. ‘I hope Sylvia managed to finish one of the dresses so I can wear it today. Unless it needs altering. How long do you think alterations take?’ As excited as you are the thought of walking away with a dress today, you’re willing to wait longer if she needs to alter it; you want it to be perfect, after all.

Alucard hums. ‘I have no experience with dressmaking, so I couldn’t possibly say. I imagine she’s finished more than one by now, though. She seems rather industrious, and she clearly isn’t lacking experience, if those sample pieces we saw are any indication. I suppose it depends on how many other clients she’s had. No matter what, I’m sure she’ll have something for you to take home.’ That’s a point now that you think about it; you ordered more than just dresses.

The thought of the underwear you’d asked her to make threatens to make you blush. After what happened in the library, your relationship with Alucard has become a lot more… heated. While it’s true that you’ve yet to tread any new ground, you’ve been revisiting that scenario often. Alucard has now decided that your neck is his new favourite place to kiss, owing to the little whimpers and moans his efforts always earn him.

When Alucard doesn’t have his mouth on your neck, he has his tongue in your mouth instead, that kind of passionate kissing something you’re getting used to quickly. Granted, the intrusion is still a little strange, but you’ve never known intimacy quite like it. Do all couples kiss with tongues, or are you a rare exception?

The only thing that upsets you even slightly is that Alucard’s hands still refuse to explore you. Despite him grabbing your ass quite firmly in the library, his hands have yet to return that low, and they haven’t dared try to grab at your breasts yet, either. While you’re certain it’s because he doesn’t want to push you into anything, it almost makes you feel… sad. Any self-love that you might have regained thanks to resolving the issue with your father is being blocked by this overwhelming fear that Alucard doesn’t find you attractive. While a part of you knows that it’s not true, that he’s just being respectful as always, there’s always this lingering doubt in your mind that he might not be all that interested in your body. After all, you’re not all that fond of it, and you’re the one who owns it! A small part of you wonders if Alucard whispering words of affirmation into your skin is more him trying to convince himself of your beauty, rather than telling you that you’re beautiful…

Trying not to focus on those thoughts right now, you allow your mind to focus back on the present, and Alucard’s answer. ‘That’s true. I’m sorry if I went a little overboard with the underwear amount, by the way. Sylvia was very persuasive.’ Does he even know how much you ordered? He paid for it, so he must have a rough idea.

Alucard clears his throat. ‘That’s fine. I did say to spoil yourself. As long as you’re happy, I am perfectly content to fund it. In fact, if you like what you see today, you might even consider commissioning more.’ In truth, you’ve been considering it ever since you left. As much as you’d been set against an evening dress, such a garment might be nice to own, should Alucard wish to dance with you again.

Still, that is best left unsaid; knowing Alucard, you’d walk out with three, and he’s already spent quite enough on your wardrobe.

You’ve been floating in and out of thought so much that it surprises you when Alucard lets go of your hand and walks in front of you, opening the door of Sylvia’s shop and gesturing you inside. ‘After you, princess.’ You can feel your heart beating nervously as you enter, wondering exactly what you’ll find. What if Sylvia has been so busy she hasn’t worked on your things at all? As nice as it is to go out with Alucard, he’d probably be quite put out if there’s nothing here.

Once Alucard is inside, the door clicks shut, and Sylvia appears from seemingly nowhere, grinning broadly. ‘Ah, Mr and Mrs Arikado! I’ve been wondering when you might come back here. Your order is finished now. I’ll just need Mrs Arikado to try on one of the dresses so I know that they fit, and then you’re all set.’ Wow, she managed to finish all of them?! The dresses and the rest? That’s amazing! She’s so quick!

Alucard hums. ‘Is the entirety of the order ready?’ That is what she just said, isn’t it? Unless he thinks she only means the dresses?

Sylvia frowns in confusion for a moment, before her eyes light up with understanding. ‘Ah, right. Yes, the whole order is done. Everything I had in my book has been made to your wife’s proportions, and to the very best of my abilities.’ That means everything really is ready! Wow, you can’t wait to try them on! Or at least, you get to try one; if it doesn’t fit, the rest of them won’t either, and it’ll be no dresses today.

From beside you, you notice Alucard smirking slightly. ‘Perfect. You work quickly. I think you can expect to see us again in the future, should my wife desire more clothing.’ Definitely. Now you know you have a fast seamstress nearby who can make such fine clothes… assuming yours are as fine as the samples, of course.

Sylvia scoffs. ‘I would advise you to save the compliments until you see my finished work. So dear, are you ready?’ She holds out her hand to you, and you take it, allowing her to steal you away just as she had the first time you arrived here.

Making sure the two of you are properly alone, Sylvia turns to you and giggles. ‘Oh, but us women know just how much he’s going to enjoy my work. If you would be so kind to strip off dear, I’ve left out what I’d like you to try on. Everything else has been parcelled up ready for collection.’ It’s a shame you don’t get to pick, but that’s okay. Whatever dress it is, it’s bound to be perfect!

Still, there is one thing concerning you. ‘I’m a little nervous about stripping. It’s been a long time since anyone saw me naked.’ Come to think of it, Alucard was the last person to see you when he took you in, but that feels like a lifetime ago now; you’re not the same as you once were, after all.

Sylvia waves one of her arms up dismissively. ‘I’ve seen all kinds of bodies here, dear. You don’t need to be shy. All women have beauty, and you are quite the beauty. That man out there is in for the best surprise of his life.’ You really hope so. It’ll be interesting to see what he thinks of you when you’re dressed properly for a change.

Somewhat comforted by Sylvia’s words, you undress swiftly, frowning as you catch sight of yourself in the mirror. While the scars on your chest have faded, they’re all you can see, eyes immediately zoning in on them. This was a mistake. Nothing could ever make Alucard find you attractive, not even-

Sylvia gasps. ‘Oh dear. I think I’ve made a mistake here. You shouldn’t wear any of the underwear I made.’ You knew it. You’re hideous! Even she thinks… ‘If I only knew what you were hiding, I would have toned it down! I think we might kill your husband if he catches sight of you in my creations. You have a body to die for, darling! Your husband is going to forget his own name when he sees you naked like this!’ If only she was in on his disguise, you jest and ask which one…

Your reflection blushes, and you allow your eyes to roam your body, away from the scars. ‘I don’t see anything special.’ Your body looks… average, at best. Sure, you look far better now than you did when Alucard took you in, but you already knew that. You just look plain, like any other woman.

With an even louder gasp, Sylvia places a hand over her chest dramatically. ‘Then you are not looking! I see before me a gorgeous young woman, with a full figure and a nice pair of breasts, if you’ll excuse me for being so vulgar. It’s no wonder such a handsome man gravitated towards you. If he could see you now, he’d be drooling like a dog. Oh, but it would be a shame for him to see the art before we apply the final layer of paint. Here, I would like you to try this on.’ As you continue to stare at your body, trying to see what Sylvia insists is there, the seamstress goes off to fetch what you’re assuming is your dress.

When you catch sight of sheer fabric in the mirror, your focus turns towards Sylvia, and the absolutely scandalous scrap of fabric in her hand. ‘I can’t wear this! I thought I was here to try on a dress?’ The garment in question is a slip of some kind, so low cut that it barely covers your nipples, and so short it doesn’t even reach your knees! That’s to say nothing of the sides, which seem to be unlaced at the moment so you can put it on. You don’t remember ordering anything like this specifically…

… Then again, embarrassment caused you to block out the exact details of your underwear choices, in case you let slip to Alucard the exact level of filth his coin is funding!

Sylvia disregards your protest with a sweep of her hand. ‘Come on, dear. If not for yourself, then do it for your husband. I think he deserves a small reward after spoiling you like he has.’ While you don’t think you’ll be stripping for him tonight, she’s right, he definitely does deserve a reward for all that he’s done…

With great reluctance, you slip into the underwear Sylvia has provided, watching as she laces it so it’s tight against your body. ‘The laces at the sides are easy for you to do yourself, and they’ll keep this garment attached to your torso nicely. I can’t guarantee that your breasts won’t pop out if he gets really into it, though.’ Now that’s an enticing image. You and Alucard are making such passionate love that your breasts shift out of their confines of their own free will.

Still, you’re not sure. ‘Shouldn’t there be a bit over my crotch?’ It seems pointless, having underwear that doesn’t cover all the important bits.

Finishing her task, Sylvia smiles wickedly. ‘I think when he sees this, your husband will be a little too preoccupied to deal with laces. I’m just leaving your options open. Unless you don’t feel comfortable like this? I can find you something to cover yourself with.’ You didn’t even think of that. To be honest, there’s probably no point in covering up anyway; if Alucard wanted you enough, no fabric would keep him from you. It’s just as well he can be trusted to always take you into consideration, rather than his own wants alone.

You shake your head. ‘It’s alright. Which dress am I trying on?’ Now that you’re seeing yourself in your new underwear, maybe Sylvia has a point. While there are undoubtedly pretty women in the world, you’re not… dreadful. You almost look like you belong in such a fine article of clothing. Would Alucard agree if he could see you now? Or would he be turned off by all the scars?

Satisfied with herself, Sylvia retrieves a dress you recognise; it’s the short-sleeved one Alucard had suggested. ‘Now, here is the real test. This should fit like a dream, but I am prone to the odd error, as all humans are.’ She can say that again. Still, at least her mistakes are rectifiable.

As Sylvia helps you into the dress, a strange feeling overwhelms you. This feels… right somehow. Like you should be dressing up like this. After all, you live in a castle now. You should be allowed a few luxuries, no matter how little right you have to your new life. Besides, this is what your father wanted for you, right? To live a happy life, full of love? You have that now. With Alucard. What reason do you have to keep denying yourself like this? Even if you’ll never be beautiful, you can at least admit that you’re lucky, and enjoy that luck while it lasts.

With a triumphant huff, Sylvia finishes helping you into the dress, standing back to admire her handiwork. ‘A perfect fit. Take a look at yourself now.’ You decide to do just that, and almost burst into tears when you see your reflection; you look every bit the princess that Alucard has declared you to be. While the dress itself is very conservative in length, the low cut neckline is a little lower than could be considered proper, and it makes you wonder if Sylvia is deliberately trying to show off your breasts for some reason.

In any case, you can’t keep yourself from smiling in delight. ‘Oh Sylvia, it’s wonderful. I can’t thank you enough.’ Whatever you’re paying her for this isn’t enough; she deserves wealth beyond measure for creating something like this.

Sylvia chuckles. ‘Just doing my job. I feel sometimes that it’s my calling in life to instil confidence in pretty young women, and I think I’ve done just that. I’m just going to sweep your hair behind your shoulders, okay? A dress like this is designed to highlight your bosom, so we shouldn’t hide it.’ You knew it. The design is deliberate! At least it’ll be a good test of how attractive Alucard really finds you…

As Sylvia pushes back your hair, she lets out a surprised laugh. ‘Oh my! It seems your husband has quite the appetite.’ What does she mean? Is there something on your neck? Is it bite marks? Does she know he’s a vampire?!

Tiling your head, you catch sight of your neck, gasping when you see the state of it; you seem to have a rash of some kind, littering the entirety of your neck. Small patches of trail up and down its length, some more vivid than others. Have you had a reaction to something? What do they have to do with Alucard’s appetite?

Maybe if you ask Sylvia… ‘What do you mean? What is that on my neck?’ It’s a surprise you’ve never noticed before, but considering how infrequently you look in the mirror, maybe it’s not that shocking…

Sylvia is chuckling again, affectionately poking fun at your lack of knowledge. ‘They have a few nicknames, but I’d call them love bites. It’s what happens when your partner sucks on your skin for too long. They’re quite common, especially when you have a passionate partner. My husband has managed to hickey me in a few interesting places before, but that’s a story for another time.’ So they are all Alucard’s fault! Still, you have to admit, part of you is quite excited by them. It’s like he’s marking his territory in a way, letting everyone else know that you are very much taken. Maybe you could do the same to him someday? They’d show up so nicely against his pale skin… Something to try out later then, if you can.

Smoothing your dress out a bit, you smile. ‘Speaking of passionate partners, would it be already to show my husband?’ He did pay for all this, so he has every right to a preview.

Sylvia grins. ‘Oh, but of course. One moment, please.’ She leaves the room then, her voice loud and proud. ‘May I present to you; your wife!’ You take that as your queue to leave then, so you step out into the room, your eyes quickly searching for Alucard.

When you spot him, he’s staring at you, his eyes wide. ‘Oh my.’ His voice is barely above a whisper, so much so that you have to strain just to hear it.

As you smile nervously, Sylvia gestures to the dress. ‘So? What do you think?’ What does he think? What if he doesn’t like it? Would he still let you keep it, considering how much you love it?

The sound of Sylvia’s voice seems to break Alucard out of a trance, and he swallows hard. ‘It’s nice.’ Only nice? Not pretty, or even beautiful? Oh no, you’re right, aren’t you? He doesn’t find you that attractive, after all. That’s why he’s been so reluctant to touch you?

Sylvia quirks a brow. ‘Nice, you say? Not quite what I’m used to taking, but I think your eyes tell me all I need to know. I’ll go and fetch the rest of the order. Would you like me to alter the dress your wife wore on her way in?’ She could do that? Amazing! That would be…

No, she shouldn’t. If Alucard doesn’t like the way you look in the next dress, you should go back to wearing the baggy one. At least then you can hide your body from him again.

Before you have the chance to answer, Alucard does it for you, his gaze still firmly fixed on you despite now talking to Sylvia. ‘I would appreciate that. We, we would… Yes.’ He shifts his weight about then, tugging on his trousers and holding the basket in both hands in front of him. Does he not even want to hold your hand now? This was a mistake. You should never have come here, no matter how special the dress makes you feel…

On second thoughts, no. Why should you feel bad? If it makes you feel good, it shouldn’t matter what he thinks. It’s your body, and if he doesn’t like it, he shouldn’t be with you. Being dressed like this doesn’t change the fact that you’re still the same person that you were this morning. If Alucard loved you then, he should still love you now, unless he now thinks you so hideous his entire opinion has changed?

Sylvia smirks at Alucard. ‘Alright. Back in a moment, then.’ She heads off then, leaving you alone with Alucard.

The air between the two of you is thick with tension, Alucard’s penetrating gaze making you feel naked. ‘So, what do you really think now that Sylvia isn’t here? Do I look stupid?’ There’s still a chance you could be wrong, and he does like what he sees, after all?

Alucard fixes his eyes back onto your face, his cheeks growing red. ‘You definitely don’t look stupid.’ Not stupid, but potentially hideous? Or any number of other words?

You want to question him more, but Sylvia returns before you get the chance, her arms laden with packages. ‘Here we are, then. This should be everything, but if you think something is missing, come back and tell me. I don’t want you to cheat you out of coin.’ It doesn’t surprise you that she’s so honest; she’s too nice not to be.

Taking the packages from Sylvia and placing them in the basket, Alucard finally stops staring at you so he can talk to her. ‘Thank you. Speaking of coin, I believe this should cover it.’ He fishes through one of his pockets, retrieving a small pouch and handing it to Sylva.

Peaking into the pouch, Sylvia gasps. ‘Mr Arikado, this is more than we agreed upon!’ He’s overpaying her? Well, she does deserve a bonus. She’s been so kind, and her work is so amazing that she’s clearly undercharging her customers.

Alucard smiles at her. ‘Oh, I have no doubt you’ve more than earned your fee. Now that I have seen what you can do, you have my word that we will shop for dresses nowhere else. I look forward to seeing the full extent of your talent in the future.’ What does he mean by that? He’s already seen so many examples of her work, so what more is there?

Sylvia seems to think for a moment, before she winks at him. ‘Very well, sir. I look forward to seeing you both in the future.’ You’ll need to come back soon, if she’s making an alteration for you.

Walking over to Alucard’s side, you grin at Sylvia, despite the nerves setting in your stomach. ‘I second what my husband said. You’ve done an amazing job, and I can’t thank you enough.’ It feels strange, not having any loose fabric on your body. You could get used to this.

Sylvia takes one of your hands, giving it a firm squeeze. ‘There is no need. It does my heart glad to work for a couple so deeply in love.

‘Now then, the alterations on your old dress will only take a few hours. Will you still be in town then, or shall I keep it in storage for your next visit?’ If it’s only going to be a few hours, you might as well hang around, if Alucard is okay to hold the basket for that long.

You’re about to ask him if he’s okay with that, but he answers before you can even get the words out, shaking his head vehemently. ‘I think I should get my wife home. Thank you again.’ He’s walking straight to the door then, and you almost have to run to catch up, Alucard’s strides longer and faster than your own.

He must really be embarrassed to be seen with you, if he wants to get home this fast. Maybe he does hate the dress, and that was a lie he told, for Sylvia’s sake? It makes you sad that he dislikes your body so much, especially on a day when even you have to admit there’s a touch of prettiness to you…

While you’d normally be content to listen to Alucard, this time you’re going to dig your heels in and ask to stay in town longer. In your mind, you finally look like a lady worthy of being at Alucard’s side, and you’re not going to waste that! You want everyone to see you together, even if Alucard isn’t so sure.

This is your first day looking like a real lady, and you’re not going to waste it.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Watching the young couple leave, she really is concerned about the underwear. Maybe she shouldn’t have convinced Mrs Arikado to wear any today? When her husband takes her dress off, the poor man is likely to die of shock!

There’s a few things her job has taught Sylvia over the years. She knows the best stitches to use on certain fabrics. She knows which style of dress works best with which body type. Most importantly of all, she knows how to read the emotions of all the husbands that come in here, but today was a new one even for her.

Most men pay such an insultingly low amount of attention to their wife. Their lady has just gotten a new dress, and they can barely be bothered to look at her, simply tossing Sylvia her fee before leaving. A few men seem actively repulsed by what they see, clearly in no way attracted to their wife. The odd man will make openly hateful comments towards his wife, telling her it’s a shame to waste fabric on someone so hideous.

From what she remembers of the Arikados, she had expected something different. She had expected to see a husband that was openly gushing towards his wife, complimenting her beauty and thanking God for her existence. Those men are the rarest of all, and she thought he was one.

And yet, there was no gushing with him. If Sylvia didn’t know better, she would have accused him of being one of the disinterested.

Oh, but she knows so much better.

As she counts her fee, the only physical proof of his approval that she personally gets to see, she can’t help but smile to herself. Young love is a beautiful thing, and today, she has played her part in strengthening those bonds.

The next time Mrs Arikado returns, she’s willing to bet there will be more proof of her husband’s affections than a few love bites on her neck.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Despite his protests, it’s surprisingly easy convincing Alucard to linger in town; all you have to do is remind him of a promise he made you.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a promise, but it was something he said he’d do for you; he said he’d buy you a fancy cake, that day he wooed you in your makeshift flower field. Alucard had seemed somewhat surprised you’d remembered that, and slightly annoyed; he really doesn’t want to linger in town for long today.

Still, he had agreed to your request, and now it is time to make another important decision; what kind of cake do you want?

The baker’s shop is full to the brim with all kinds of fancy cakes, all of his wife’s making, apparently. The sweet treats are particularly popular with passing nobles and small children, the perfect gift for a birthday or special occasion. The only problem with having this much choice is that it’s difficult to choose which one you want. Should you go for a basic cake with little in the way of decorations? A rich sponge made with more butter than usual? Maybe one of the fancy-looking things with a name that only Alucard seems to be able to pronounce properly? It’s all such a muddle, you’re at a total loss!

Even Alucard, for all his knowledge on how to pronounce the names of fancy cakes, seems to be at a loss, wandering the shop in search of a confection. In fairness, it’s not like you don’t have the time to choose; the baker has stepped out for a moment, his assistant telling you as much when you came in. Apparently, he’s not been trained to handle money yet, so you need to wait before you can make a purchase.

Truthfully, you’re hoping the baker will come back soon, even if it does cut your time short; you really don’t like the way the assistant is staring at you right now. Does he think you are a thief, likely to shove some of these cakes into your dress and flee? Maybe he recognises you from a few years ago, when you’d managed to procure some bread from a pile of their stale stock? Either way, his gaze is making you feel quite ill, to the point where you wish he’d just walk over and tell you what the issue is before your anxiety spoils your appetite!

As if he can read your mind, the assistant walks over to you, wearing a leering grin on his face. ‘Nice buns, darling. You come here often?’ Buns? Oh, you get it!

You smile at the man, relieved that he’s just trying to be helpful. ‘Ah, you’d recommend the buns, then? Are they sweet? I’ve never actually been here before, so I wouldn’t know.’ You’ve not been in the shop looking at cakes at least, so that’s technically not a lie.

The man looks at him as if you’ve slapped him. ‘I meant your tits, love. Those tender milk sacs on your chest. They’re looking full today. Did you need someone to suck on them for you?’ Well, there goes your appetite. Honestly, being accused of stealing would be better than having this creep try his luck with you.

You’re about to call for Alucard’s assistance when he walks over, staring down at the assistant with pure fury in his eyes. ‘Are you bothering her?’ If looks could kill, the man before you would have stopped breathing the moment Alucard came to stand beside you.

The man spits on the ground at Alucard’s feet, only missing the basket by an inch or so. ‘Fuck off, mate. I asked the lady a question, and I want an answer.’ The only answer he’s going to get is Alucard’s fist down his throat if the look in your lover’s eyes is any indication.

Alucard growls, but before he can answer, you wrap your arms around one of his, trying to ignore how it settles between your cleavage. ‘The answer is no, and unless you want to explain to your employer why my husband has beaten you to a pulp, I would suggest backing off right now.’ You just hope he’s smart enough to take that as a genuine threat, rather than a challenge…

The man doesn’t seem willing to back down. ‘Aw, that’s cute. You think pretty boy could actually hurt me? All noble men are the same. Weak little men with tiny dicks living off of their father’s wealth. A lass like you needs a bit of rough and tumble in your life. I could show you what you’re missing.’ Now might be a good time for you to start thinking of excuses to tell the baker, should he come back to discover that his assistant has gone permanently missing!

Alucard is about to retort when the door opens behind you, signalling the baker’s return. ‘Ah, customers! What can I do for you?’ In a way, you’re glad that Alucard isn’t going to have to commit murder again, but you’re also a little sad; the assistant deserves at least a punch in the face.

When Alucard turns to address the baker, the assistant walks straight past you both so he can speak to the baker directly. ‘This man has been threatening me because I tried to tell him that we don’t allow prostitutes in here.’ So he’s calling you names now? Fine. Two can play at that game.

Unfurling your arms from Alucard's so you can cross them, you smirk at the assistant, before turning to the baker. ‘I am no prostitute, but if I was, the words your assistant spoke could be considered solicitation, were my standards low enough to accept such a pathetic client. Do you often allow your employee to sexually harass your customers, or does he only act like an animal when you’re not around to muzzle him?’ All three pairs of eyes stare at you in shock, none of them expecting you to respond quite like that.

After recovering from his surprise, the baker slaps his hand against the back of his assistant’s head. ‘You idiot! I’m so sorry about this, my lady. He’s my brother’s boy you see, so I had to take him in. He won’t bother you again. Might I offer you a selection of goods as compensation for his actions?’ Oh, so he’s done things like this before? Or he’s done something similar, if the baker is so willing to believe you over him.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘I’d not see you out of pocket for this fool’s actions. If my wife has decided what she wants, we’ll just pay for our goods and leave.’ Fine by you. Or it would be, if you had any idea what you wanted.

Any sense of bravery gone, you lean up so you can whisper in Alucard’s ear. ‘Can you choose for me? I can’t really think about food right now.’ Not after this man has ruined your appetite so completely.

Looking over the cakes, Alucard points to a plain-looking cake with some kind of glaze. ‘Some of these then, please.’ You’re so busy keeping an eye on the assistant that you let Alucard pay the baker without paying much attention, pleased when you finally feel his hand grab yours.

As the two of you leave the shop, you can’t help but feel bad about what just happened. If you hadn’t insisted upon staying in town, you never would have had to deal with that creep. It’s all your fault that a fight almost broke out, just because you wanted people to see you and Alucard together. At least the baker had called you a lady. That’s some small compensation…

As you approach the edge of the forest, Alucard breaks the silence between you, although you can tell he’s still simmering with rage over what just happened. ‘When we get home, please accompany me to my bedroom so I can kiss you breathless.’ You knew it. He’s furi… Wait, what?

You want to ask him what he means, but he silences you with a look, his eyes full of desperation. ‘Not here. I need a moment to dispel my hatred. Let me just say that right now, in your new dress and more confident attitude, I regret that I do not know a word that can adequately describe just how beautiful you are, but I am willing to demonstrate it instead. At home. Alone.’ Oh. So he does like the new dress then? He’s just been trying to think of a way to tell you? Silly man. He could have just said you look pretty. That would have been a massive compliment, as it always is when he says it.

Relieved that your worries appear to be without foundation, you happily walk home hand-in-hand with Alucard, eager for that kiss he mentioned a moment ago.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The moment you reach the castle, Alucard walks you up to his bedroom just as he said he would, your heart fluttering all the while. He’s never taken you into his room like this before. What is he planning? Is he going to bed you? A part of you hopes that’s exactly what he’s planning. At least if he does that, you’ll know once and for all that he finds you attractive…

… Well, attractive enough to have sex with.

Stepping over the threshold of his room, Alucard places your basket on the ground, tossing his gloves in it before taking a seat on the bed. He quickly takes his shoes off, and you make to do the same, still wondering what he has planned for you. The way he’s staring at you does nothing to calm your nerves, and you wonder if you should undress further. Will he tell you if he wants you to strip?

Now settled, Alucard spreads his legs and gestures for you to stand between them, his hands settling on your hips. ‘Now then, I believe you asked me what I think of the dress?’ You nod your head, not wanting to interrupt him. ‘I think it’s the finest thing I’ve ever seen, due entirely to the way it fits so perfectly against your body. All I want to do is run my hands up and down your body, trace your outline until I have it memorised completely. I could spend hours just staring at you like this, completely enraptured by your unparalleled beauty. That is what I think of the dress, yet still I find it so lacking I wish to fall at your feet and apologise for saying something so insulting.’ He leans forward then, burying his face against your navel as his hands move up and down your sides.

Steadying yourself by grabbing onto Alucard’s shoulders, your legs buckle slightly when he moans. ‘The only thing better than seeing you in this dress would be seeing what you’re wearing underneath it. I dream of the day I get to find out, but for now, why don’t you lean down here and kiss me?’ Just a kiss, huh? You can do something a lot better than that, especially given how flattering he’s being.

With a gentle push against his chest, Alucard flops down on the bed, scooting backwards a little as you pull your dress up to your knees so you can straddle his hips. Remembering your lack of covering, you tuck your dress in between your legs, not wanting to soak the front of Alucard’s trousers if things get too heated between you.

Speaking of getting things heated, now you lean down, capturing his lips as Alucard’s fingers begin to trail up and down your spine. You waste no time deepening the kiss, your tongue easily sliding into Alucard’s waiting mouth as he starts to respond in kind. While this kind of heated kissing is nothing new between you, it isn’t enough right now. You want more, and you’re going to give him the choice to see if he wants the same thing; you’re going to ask him if he’ll grab your breasts.

Pulling back, you stare down at Alucard, about to ask him just that when he places his hands flat against your stomach. ‘Please, may I… I would like to touch your breasts. Just a touch. I swear, I’ll be so gentle with them.’ Oh, but great minds must think alike, after all…

You don’t offer up a single moment of hesitation. ‘Touch them, Adrian. I want you to touch them.’ If he asked you to, you’d gladly take off your clothes and allow him access to your bare breasts. Maybe once he’s enjoyed them all he can in your dress, he’ll do just that.

Alucard’s hands slide over your stomach slowly, before he finally allows them to settle over your breasts. ‘Fuck!’ The word comes out as a choked moan as he thrusts his hips up in desperation, and you gasp as something hard and unfamiliar rubbing against you; you’re not the only one who wants more, it seems.

Mistaking your gasp for discomfort, Alucard stops moving. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t want- ah!’ You silence his unnecessary apology by grinding yourself against his erection, and once again sticking your tongue into his mouth, almost cutting it when you forget about his fangs.

Alucard’s hands continue to paw at your breasts, his thumbs rubbing your nipples through the fabric. When you break your heated kiss with a small moan, Alucard sits up slightly so he can bury his face in your cleavage, sucking on the sensitive skin there as his hands continue their ministrations. You keep rubbing yourself against him, trying to soothe your own desire. At this rate, you’ll end up having an orgasm before Alucard can even touch you, and you don’t want that. You want to feel his fingers sliding against you as he slowly and deliberately brings you to a climax so strong it makes you scream his name in ecstasy.

Grabbing his hands, you pin him down against the bed, his efforts too much for you to cope with for much longer. Alucard closes his eyes as you trail your lips across his neck, enjoying the feeling of his gasping and squirming underneath you as he continues to thrust his hips up into you.

Then, without warning, Alucard’s gasps turn to whimpers, and his body starts to tremble. ‘No. Stop. Please.’ You’re off his body without a second thought, moving to kneel next to him instead.

Carefully placing a hand on Alucard’s shoulder, you shake him a little, trying to get him to open his eyes. ‘Adrian? What’s wrong?’ Tears spill out as he opens his eyes, flowing down towards his ears in a single fluid motion. His gaze is unfocused as he tries to blink the water away, as if he’s trying hard to recognise his surroundings.

Finally, he looks up at you, his face finally coming into focus. ‘Princess? I’m so…’ He sobs once then, sitting up on the bed and grabbing onto his hair in frustration. Sobs begin to violently wrack his chest, as his body continues to tremble like a scared puppy.

You place a hand on his back, delicately stroking it. ‘It’s alright. It’s going to be alright. Do you want to talk about it?’ You’d rather not force the issue, but you really need to know what it is, or else the two of you will never progress any further.

After a few moments of trying to steady his breathing, Alucard finally answers. ‘I was there. For a moment, I was back there, with them. I forgot where I was, who I was with. I thought you were them.’ He’s sobbing again, and your heart stops. This is your fault. When you pinned him to the bed, it must have reminded him of his scars, what they did to him. You weren’t thinking. You were so caught up in your feelings that you forget about his past, forgot about his scars…

Keeping your hand on his back, it’s your turn to apologise. ‘I’m so sorry, Alucard. I shouldn’t have pinned you down like that. I wasn’t thinking.’ Hopefully this won’t set your relationship back too much, but if he didn’t want to progress for a while, you’d understand that.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘This isn’t your fault. It’s theirs. I know in my heart that you don’t want to hurt me, but I thought the same of them once, too. I know it’s not the same, that I didn’t love them the way I love you, but it’s always going to be there in the back of my mind that I can’t allow it to happen again. If you didn’t get off me like you did, and I was still in that memory, I might have hurt you, or worse.’ The thought of him hurting you doesn’t frighten you nearly as much as the thought of him having to live with killing someone else that he cares about…

Coaxing his hands out of his hair, you place a hand against Alucard’s cheek, trying to wipe away his tears as you make him look at you. ‘That isn’t going to happen. I’m never going to put you in this position again. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that I’m not going to hurt you. You can tie me up, blindfold me. You could even gag me so I won’t bite you if that’s what it takes.’ Anything to reassure him that you’re not like Taka and Sumi, that you never want to harm him.

Alucard almost laughs at that. ‘As tempting as that is, I don’t want that. I want you to see me, to touch me. If there was an allowance to be made, it would be that while we are together, I would like to feel in control of the situation. While I like it when you start things, I would like to be able to take charge. To hover over your hips. To pin down your wrists. How would you feel about that?’ If handing control over to Alucard will stop him feeling like this again…

You nod. ‘I trust you, Adrian. I know that if I tell you to stop, you will, so I have no problem with you taking control like that. You’ve helped me to overcome so many obstacles, and I want to do the same for you. Whatever it takes, I want us to get past this, together. I want to help you heal.’ Whatever he needs, you’re going to be here for him; it’s only fair, considering he’s always done the same for you.

Alucard wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your shoulder. ‘I trust you, too. More than I thought myself capable of. If anyone could help me move forward, it’s you. It’s just going to take time.’ Time is something you have plenty of, so you’re fine with that; you’ll stand by him for however long it takes.

Kissing the top of Alucard’s head, you sigh softly. ‘All the truly important things do. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to help you?’ Does he want you to hold him? To be left alone?

Alucard places a soft kiss against your neck. ‘Keep loving me as you do. Also, if you feel comfortable with the idea, I would like you to sleep in my bed for a while. Nothing sexual, just cuddling. The last thing I want is to be left alone at the moment.’ Then you’ll stay. Whatever it takes, you’ll help him heal.

You hum your assent. ‘I can do that. It would be a chance to show you my new nightgowns.’ The ones that aren’t completely scandalous, of course; you’d hate him to think you’re trying to seduce him at his most vulnerable like Taka and Sumi did.

Nuzzling his cheek against your neck, Alucard makes a soft noise that you think is a happy one. ‘Thank you, my love.’ He doesn’t need to thank you for this. You’re just doing what you have to, to help him move on.

When he’s feeling less emotional, there’s one more thing you can do; It’s finally time to mention the bodies.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard has decided that this is his new happy place. The next time he feels himself regressing into memory, he’ll try to think of this, in an attempt to ease the pain.

As his lady love slips away from his grasp, saying something about them changing into their nightclothes and eating cake in bed, Alucard wants nothing more than to pull her back. He needs her to be close to him, now more than ever. Is this what it means to love someone? To always want to be close to them, no matter how much they send your emotions into a frenzy?

His lover leaves to get changed in her own room, and Alucard makes a start on changing himself, thinking back on the day’s events. How he had somehow managed to go from exuberant to terrified in a few short hours.

Part of him blames Sylvia for this. The woman is far too good at her job. When he’d first caught sight of his love in her new dress, he had almost fainted. She seems to grow more and more beautiful with each passing day, but seeing her in her new dress was something else. His mind had been filled only with the desire to touch her, to have her womanly hips and soft breasts in his hands. The fact that he happened to overhear roughly what she’s wearing underneath and Alucard had nearly died. All he’d wanted was to take her home, just so he could touch her in private.

He doesn’t blame her for wanting to walk around town for a while. Why wouldn’t she want to show off her new clothes to the world? Her first day dressed as the lady she is, her beauty and grace visible for all the world to see.

In some ways, it’s too visible for him.

A small part of him wants to sneak into town and gut the man that spoke to her in such a vulgar manner. While Alucard is quite used to having a weak insult or two tossed his way, hearing that man speak to her like that, offering her things that not even he has done yet…

Pulling his nightgown over his head, Alucard smirks, recalling her retort. Being well-read suits her well, as does her newfound fire. The person he’d met by the stream wouldn’t have dared speak out like that, and he’s proud that she isn’t like that anymore. She is bold and confident, and it drives him wild. He’d had every intention to go a lot further when they got back to the castle, if she had felt ready. Nothing too invasive, but more than a kiss. He would have tried to stroke her to climax if she’d allowed it, almost as a way to positively reinforce her new confidence.

Then he’d lost his mind, for a moment. Her hands had managed to touch his scars, and he'd been dragged deep into his mind.

He’d seen them, clear as day. Watched them as they slipped the silver chains over his wrists, ready to kill. He’d begged them to stop, and had been surprised when the pressure disappeared, their faces becoming hazy. The next thing he knew, she was there, the woman he loves, and she was frightened for him.

Alucard has never felt quite so rotten in his life. She deserves so much better than a broken man. He can’t even touch her without thinking about his past. Her patience with him isn’t something he would have expected, but it makes him love her even more. She wants to help him overcome his demons, and he is glad of it. In the long run, it will only make them stronger as a couple, if it doesn’t break them first.

A figure reappears in the doorway, a wrapped cake parcel in her hands. A simple sponge glazed with honey. A sticky treat, but something he knows she’ll love. She is almost overfond of honey.

Walking over to the bed, she slips under the covers, and he follows her, immediately wrapping his arms around her again as she makes sure they’re both covered up by his sheet. She’s so warm in his arms, especially in the places where their bare skin meets. Maybe this should be his happy place instead, snuggled up with her in bed?

Alucard can’t help but kiss her head, her hair just as soft as the rest of her body. ‘I like your new nightgown. You’re a very beautiful woman, and I am a very lucky man.’ No other man will ever get to see her like this, to hold her like this, for as long as she is with him.

Her answering laugh makes his heart melt, and she opens up the cake parcel, tearing off a piece. ‘Flatterer.’ She offers him the piece of cake then, and he takes it with his mouth, allowing her to feed him for a change.

In truth, Alucard could get used to this far too easily. Being fed cake by a half-naked goddess is the closest to heaven he’s ever going to get, and he intends to enjoy it. Besides, he meant what he said. Just having her here, knowing that she loves him, is enough to comfort him without equal.

All the more reason he needs to put the past behind him; it’s the only way to guarantee a future with her.

To Alucard, that is the only future worth walking towards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... So it goes without saying, the next chapter might be a little gross, but we'll try to keep it vague as always.
> 
> We're also going to try to keep to Wednesday for the next update, but as one of us has taken ill (again), we'll have to see. We'll keep you posted always ^.^
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and hopefully, we'll see you again Wednesday as planned:D


	32. A Simple Compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Whoop, actually made it on time! Also, this chapter ended up not being the gross one; that is yet to come O.O
> 
> For now, enjoy ^.^

Two weeks after the incident in Alucard’s bedroom, you still haven’t managed to bring up the subject of the bodies.

It’s not because you’ve forgotten about it, and you certainly haven’t changed your mind. No, the issue lies entirely with Alucard, and his state of mind since that day. 

While he seems to be perfectly normal, you know you managed to reopen a nasty wound that day, and you’ve been waiting for it to heal over a little before you try to go over this new topic with him. You’ve been doing everything you can to try and comfort him, from preparing his meal to staying in his bed. While Alucard keeps insisting that you don’t need to do any of this, you know in your heart that you do; he said all you had to do was love him, and you’re going to do everything you can to show him that you do. 

Today however, you’ve decided that you can’t wait any longer. Those bodies need to go, if Alucard is to have any real chance of recovering from what they did. A lingering reminder isn’t healthy for him, and if you’re being honest, the smell each time the doors open is making you ill. Surely living with dead bodies isn’t healthy in any way? Maybe that can be one more thing you use in your argument in favour of getting rid of them? Alucard would hate you to get sick, after all…

Your plan to broach the topic at breakfast had been scuppered by none other than Alucard himself, who had decided that a tiny bit of honey on your lips was all the justification he needed to kiss you so deeply you’d forgotten everything that wasn’t his mouth for a long while. While you’ve been trying to tone down the physical aspect of your relationship after what happened, Alucard doesn’t seem to share that reluctance, still taking every opportunity he can to slip his tongue into your mouth, or gently caress you. Strangely enough, the only time he doesn’t try anything like that is when you’re in bed together, despite the fact that neither of you wear much in the way of coverings to bed. Maybe that’s exactly why he won’t touch you then; it’s too intimate for him. In any case, you’re happy that his unfortunate turn hasn’t left a permanent stain on your relationship, even if it is making your task today more difficult.

Right now, you’re working on cutting up some freshly baked bread for lunch, Alucard watching you from his seat at the table. He’s barely left you alone for a moment these last two weeks, which you can’t say you mind. You enjoy his company, and he seems to take comfort in yours. 

Bringing your attention back to lunch, you place a slice of bread out on two separate plates, and start to layer on the meat and cheese to create what seems to be Alucard’s lunchtime staple. You squeal loudly when you feel strong arms wrap around your waist, dragging you back slightly until your back is pressed into a firm chest. 

You sigh as Alucard begins to nuzzle at your neck, his kisses gentle. ‘Adrian, I’m making our lunch. Stop trying to distract me.’ You have a promise to keep, after all; you swore never to skip another meal, as part of your condition for being allowed to stay.

Alucard chuckles lightly, but doesn't let go of you. ‘Distracting you? Now why would I do such a thing? I’m looking forward to eating another lunch that has been dutifully prepared by the woman I love. My beautiful princess, who has been taking such perfect care of me lately. Everything you do just makes me more desperate to touch you, to kiss you…’ Well, he’s certainly doing that right now!

Placing the second slice of bread on top of the filling, you grab his hands squeezing them firmly before moving them away. ‘Please don’t try to push yourself. I’m not going to start thinking you don’t love me if you stop touching me for a while. You need time to heal, and I understand that. I’m here for you, whatever you need.’ Especially if that involves cuddling him every night so he knows that he never has to be alone again.

Reaching over you and grabbing the plates, Alucard takes them to the table, settling back into his seat with a sigh. ‘I’m not pushing myself, my love. I want to touch you, to hold you. It’s the only way I’m going to get past this. Besides, now that we have discussed my issues with surrendering control, I feel more confident. You understand my needs, and are willing to accommodate. One more reason that I am hopelessly in love with you.’ As long as he’s truly okay with it. You hate the idea that he might feign contentment just to make you happy. 

Taking your seat at his side, you take a few bites of food, bracing yourself for what you’re about to say. ‘I think there might be another way to help you get past this, Adrian.’ One that is going to be much more unpleasant than him touching you, but one that is undoubtedly going to be more helpful.

Alucard furrows his brow, confused. ‘There is? Please, enlighten me. I would be interested in hearing your suggestion.’ You’re not sure if he really means that or not, but that’s all the permission you need to lay your suggestion out. 

Taking a deep breath, you brace yourself, sure that this is going to earn you backlash. ‘I think you should bury them, Adrian.’ Is that too vague? Will he know what you mean?

For a moment, Alucard freezes, before nonchalantly eating more of his meal. ‘I’m trying to, but memories are a tricky thing. No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to be rid of them.’ Oh, so he doesn’t get it? That’s odd. It isn’t like Alucard to misunderstand you.

You clarify. ‘I don’t mean the memories, I mean the bodies. I think you should take them off the spikes and bury them properly.’ Even if it’s just a case of quickly tossing them into a hole and covering them up without a word, that’s fine; as long as they can’t be seen or smelt ever again, it should help to bring him closure.

Alucard slams his food onto his plate, hard enough to make you flinch. ‘What good would that do? They don’t deserve a burial, not after what they did. Watching them rot brings me much more satisfaction.’ If you’d mentioned this to him months ago, and he’d had the same reaction, you’d have back off;

It’s just a shame for him that you’re not the same fragile little thing you once were.

Despite his own ire burning, you try to stay calm. ‘This isn’t about them. We don’t bury people to bring them closure. They could burn in hell for all I care. This is about you, and giving yourself closure. You’ll never find true peace until you put the past to bed. Everytime you leave this castle, you’re reminded of what they did, and it’s hurting you. It must be. So let's get rid of them, so you can move on.’ You’re more than happy to do all the legwork for him, as long as he is present for the burial itself.

Alucard’s food has been forgotten now, his sharp eyes fixed on you. ‘This topic is not up for debate. I said I would hear your suggestion, and I have. Drop it.’ It’s just as well you know he’d never do anything to hurt you, or you’d be terrified right now. 

Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, glaring right back. ‘No, I won’t. This is my home too, Adrian, and I don’t like having them there. I don’t want to have to swallow my vomit everytime I step outside. We both need them gone, so why are you hesitating? Are you worried you’ll forget about them? Because those scars on your wrists are already a permanent reminder. You don’t need the bodies to remember that they hurt you, but at least if we bury them, you won’t be reminded of them every second of the day. We need to do this, Adrian.’ You’d be willing to do anything he asks in exchange, if that would convince him.

After hearing you out, Alucard just sighs. ‘No, you want me to do this. I don’t need to do anything, except stop listening to this.’ He stands then, his eyes leaving you completely. ‘Loving me doesn’t mean you always know what is best for me. Burying Taka and Sumi would bring me no peace. No, it is better to let them rot, and scare away others that would try to hurt us.’ Why ‘us’? Does he think having them up as a deterrent will make you safer? What if someone sees you leaving one day, and they assume that you’re a murderer? In some ways, having them up puts you in more danger. In fact, Trevor and Sypha were ready to kill him for what he did. Why does he still see them as a means to be safe?

Your voice isn’t much above a whisper, but with his hearing, that shouldn’t matter. ‘I suppose it doesn’t. But by that logic, you had no right to tell me to read my father’s letter. I just wanted you to know a similar peace.’ As hard as it was, you only ended up reading that letter because of Alucard, and you’ve been grateful ever since; sometimes, you have to break something so it can heal properly.

For a moment, it looks like Alucard is about to speak again, but he doesn’t; instead, he leaves the room, and you’re left feeling dreadful. 

This went so much worse than you could have imagined. You thought he’d at least hear you out before getting angry. Then again, you probably shouldn’t have pushed him as hard as you did. Maybe you should chase after him now, apologise for what you said? Then again, if you do that, you’re admitting that you’re in the wrong with this, and you don’t think that you are. You’re only trying to help him, as painful as your help might be. 

A door shuts a little too firmly somewhere in the castle, undoubtedly the door to Alucard’s bedroom. It looks like you’re sleeping alone tonight, then. Probably for the best, if Alucard is still angry. Maybe it would be wise to give him some space now, until he’s calmed down enough that you’re not going to argue again. You feel a fool for waiting so long to bring this up now. If you’d mentioned it straight away, it might have been easier. Instead, you allowed his wound to scab over, only to pick at it until it bleeds. This time however, the one thing that has been of any comfort to him is the one that hurt him, and a part of you hates yourself for that. 

Still, you can’t bring yourself to go there and grovel. He needs this. It would help him. You shouldn’t back down just because it’s hard. If he’s still ignoring you tomorrow, you might try to at least ease the tension between the two of you, but for now, you’re going to clean up the remains of lunch, and then you’re going to hide in your room until tomorrow. Alucard will just have to make his own dinner tonight, if you haven’t destroyed his appetite. As for you, you’ll take an apple to your room, so at least you’re still technically not breaking your promise; while it’s not a full meal, you’re not skipping one, either.

As you scrape the plates clean, you only hope this feud with Alucard doesn’t last long.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As late afternoon flirts with the cusp of evening, Alucard finishes ladling out two bowls of soup, waiting patiently for his lover to join him.

Part of him wants to just stick his head in the soup until he drowns, a fitting punishment for what he did to her earlier. Snapping at her like that was uncalled for, and he knows it. She had touched a nerve without fully intending to, and he had allowed himself to get angry at her rather than taking a moment to consider her points. It is not how a gentleman should behave towards the woman he intends to marry someday, and he is beyond contrite. It is going to take a lot more than soup to earn her forgiveness on this.

At least he has something that might help. A trinket, picked up from a market stall the day of her fitting. Abandoning her under the pretense of misplacing his coins was a cruel thing to do in hindsight, but he felt it was necessary. It was clear that something had caught her eye, and he did not want her to be without it. She is his love, and if adorning her with fine jewels will make her smile, he’ll do just that.

It hadn’t taken him long to realise which piece had caught her eye, assuming he is correct. A golden chained necklace, with a gemstone that is similar in colour to his eyes. He knows full well how much she loves his eyes, so it makes sense in his mind that this is the piece that she would have chosen, had she thought herself worthy of it at the time. Even if he’s wrong, he hopes she’ll still like it enough to wear it. A part of him would feel a sick sort of pride if she did, almost as if having jewellery around her neck that is reminiscent of him would only strengthen his claim on her. Not that he needs such a thing; it is clear to him that her heart belongs to him, and him alone.

Alucard sighs, still waiting for his lover to join him. Surely she won’t hide in her room all evening? She swore that she wouldn’t skip out on meals, and it is not in her nature to break a promise like this. Has he wounded her so deeply by lashing out that she has forgotten that? If he has, that is one more reason why he probably doesn’t deserve closure. He seems to have a knack for hurting the people he cares about the most, both intentionally and unintentionally. How can he achieve his dream of marrying her when he doesn’t deserve her? There are so many things he’ll never be able to give her, but he’s always assumed he can give her kindness. It’s the very least she deserves, after all that she has been through.

When another five minutes pass by in solitude, Alucard admits defeat, picking up her soup and heading for her bedroom. Her bedroom, not his. Not theirs. He doesn’t want her to sleep alone in there anymore. She belongs with him, her body curled against his as she softly snores. Then again, if his unfair treatment of her has upset her this much, he doesn’t deserve to experience her soft frame curling up against his; he deserves only the cold emptiness of his own bed. 

By the time he reaches her bedroom door, Alucard is ready to beg for forgiveness, if it means avoiding sleeping alone tonight. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

You should have taken more than one apple.

Choosing to eat a small meal was a mistake, even if you thought at the time you were deserving of a punishment. If your stomach had eyes, it would be glaring at you just as Alucard had, berating you for denying it food.

Maybe if you wait long enough, it’ll be safe to sneak into the kitchen and get something. You don’t want to bump into Alucard just yet. The more you think on it, the more terrible you feel. It was a cruel thing to do, pushing him as you did. He should be able to take his time, come to terms with things properly. Your desire to push him is born more of your own selfish desire to move forward with him than it is to tend to his needs. Not that there is much to move towards, of course; bedwarming mistress is about the best you can hope for. Now you’re not even that. Now you’re back to being the woman that sits in her room all day, pining after a man that would never even consider a woman so far below him in status. A pretty dress doesn’t make you any less of a peasant; it's not like you paid for it, after all.

Maybe you should admit you’re in the wrong. If Alucard thinks that touching you will be enough to help him move on, you’ll trust him. You’ll even strip off right then and there and let him touch you to his heart's content if it makes him feel better. You’ll do that tomorrow morning though, not now. You deserve to sleep alone tonight.

A faint knock at the door catches you off-guard. ‘Princess? Are you decent?’ As a person? Not after what you said to him. In terms of dress, however…

You hum in affirmation, and that’s good enough for Alucard; he enters your room, a bowl of food in his hands. He made dinner after all, then? That’s good. At least he won’t starve.

When you notice the stern furrow in his brow, you brace yourself for another sharp retort, but instead he softly sighs. ‘You broke your promise, my love. You swore that you wouldn’t start skipping meals again.’ So he does remember that, then? You shouldn’t be surprised. He has quite the memory…

You shrug, turning your gaze towards the bedside table where you’d left the remains of your own dinner. ‘I had an apple.’ You sound like a petulant child, proving to a parent that you’re not adverse to eating healthy.

Alucard makes a noise that almost sounds like he’s choking on something. ‘That isn’t a meal. It’s barely a snack. It looks like I have no choice, then.’ He sits next to you on the bed, offering you a full spoon of soup. ‘Open wide.’ He’s feeding you again? Is this going to be his response every time you skip a meal?

You shake your head. ‘I’m not hungry.’ Your stomach immediately contradicts you, the smell of Alucard’s cooking too much for it to resist. 

Undeterred, Alucard brings the spoon closer to your lips. ‘Stop being so stubborn. Open your mouth.’ Seriously? If you’re stubborn, what the hell is he?

A little annoyed by his persistence, you retort before you can stop yourself. ‘You’re one to talk about being stubborn!’ Alucard visibly finches at that, placing the spoon back into the bowl before putting the bowl next to the apple core.

After a few moments of tense silence, Alucard finally speaks. ‘You’re right. I am stubborn. The curse of being the only child of a wealthy family, you might say. There were very few things I wanted that I wasn’t easily given, and even the things I was denied were easily gained with a little stubborn persistence. It was only when I started interacting with the real world that I realised people don’t respond well to such an attitude, and stubborn determination will only get me so far. There was a time not so long ago where you were so terrified of what I might do to you that my poor attitude worked on you. It makes me so proud to see you stand up for yourself, especially when I am in the wrong. I should not have snapped at you, and I shouldn’t have been so stubborn that I refused to listen. You love me, and I know that you did not ask me to remove those bodies out of spite. You only want the best for me, just as I want the best for you. Forgive me.’ He’s apologising to you? But you’re the one in the wrong, not him! You pushed him too far, and now he’s the one that thinks he did wrong?

You shake your head. ‘There is nothing to forgive. I didn’t mean to push you like that. You’re hurting, and I’ve only made it worse. It’s selfish of me to assume I know what is best for you. I should trust that you know how to help yourself better than I do. It’s you who should try to forgive me.’ If he is willing to. For all you know, this might change the way he sees you beyond repair.

Alucard chuckles, bringing a hand up to stroke your cheek. ‘You and I are quite the pair. Too stubborn to back down from a fight, then too stubborn to agree who is in the wrong. Why don’t we just agree that we both had good and bad points, and move on? I don’t like the idea of us being on bad terms for any reason.’ If he’s willing to let you off the hook that easily, you’re willing to agree to that; anything to put the argument to bed.

Tilting your head, you give his palm a quick kiss before turning back to answer him. ‘Alright. We should just move on. I’m too hungry to keep arguing anyway.’ This is why you hate skipping meals these days; you’re far too well-fed to miss out. 

Thinking a moment, Alucard smiles. ‘I’ll pass it to you in a second. For now, close your eyes and hold out your hands.’ His hand leaves your face, and you do as instructed, genuinely curious as to what he’s planning. Perhaps he’s got another apple in his pocket, and he plans to give it to you to show that great minds think alike or something?

Whatever he slides into your hand is far too light to be an apple, but also seems to contain most of its weight in a single area. What is it? It could really be anything. A key to the castle, maybe? A coin for you to spend the next time you visit the town.

When Alucard tells you to open your eyes, you almost immediately start crying; it’s the necklace you saw that day you got your dress fitted. When did he get this? How did he know this is the one you wanted? Somehow, it looks even prettier in your hands, and you almost feel unworthy of holding it.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you stare up at Alucard as tears begin to leak from your eyes. ‘Adrian, this is too much. I couldn’t possibly…’ But you want to. You want it. He’s giving it to you. It’s yours. A pretty necklace, to wear with your pretty dresses…

Alucard frowns in confusion. ‘Couldn’t possibly what? Wear it? Why not? It is not something for you to leave in a drawer and forget about. It is too nice for that. It should hang from the neck of a beautiful woman, and I can think of no one more beautiful than you.’ You could probably go into town and find a dozen women more deserving of this than you, despite what he thinks. This is too nice for you. 

With a heavy heart, you hand the necklace back, watching as his frown intensifies. ‘I can’t accept this. I’m not nearly beautiful enough to wear this.’ Maybe if he’s lucky, the merchant will give him his money back. If not, then maybe you can give it to Sypha the next time she visits.

As he stares down at the necklace, you see a tear trickle down Alucard’s cheek. ‘I hate hearing you talk about yourself like that. It always brings me so much pain. I would give any soul I may or may not have in exchange for you being able to see yourself through my eyes, only if for a moment. You show yourself a level of hatred that you would never show anyone else, and it makes my heart ache. I…’ Alucard’s eyes grow wide, as if he’s realised something important. ‘... I am guilty of the same. You’re right. I’m a fool for not seeing it sooner. It isn’t that they don’t deserve a burial, it’s that I don’t feel as if I deserve closure. I killed them, and I should have to live with the consequence each and every day, a reminder that I am a monster. But I don’t want that anymore. I want to live my life again, with you by my side. I can’t move forwards if I’m always being forced to look behind me. I am willing to reach a compromise with you over the bodies.’ A compromise? So he’s not getting rid of them, then? 

Still, it’s progress. ‘Alright. What is it?’ Whatever it is, you’re willing to try it, if it means he’ll start trying to find closure.

Alucard looks up at you, his eyes even. ‘Tomorrow morning, I’ll bury Taka and Sumi. You can watch me do it if you want, as proof that I am honouring our agreement. In exchange, every morning I’m going to stand you in front of a mirror, and you’re going to tell yourself that you’re beautiful. You’re going to do it every morning until I’m satisfied that you mean it. That is the compromise.’ That’s… Oh dear. Of all the things he could have asked you to do, why did he have to choose one so far outside of your comfort zone? He couldn’t have just asked for your virginity instead? Then again it would have been a poor trade, considering you’re far more willing to give him that than he is to remove the bodies…

Well, if it is a compromise, perhaps you can alter it slightly? ‘What if I agreed to model my new underwear for you instead?’ You haven’t even had the chance to unwrap all the pieces you ordered from Sylvia yet, with most of them still living in the basket.

Alucard thinks about your offer for a moment, before smiling wickedly. ‘Good idea. You have to stand in front of the mirror in your underwear each morning and tell yourself you’re beautiful instead.’ What?! That’s not what you meant at all!

You’re about to argue that when Alucard raises his hand, giving you pause for a moment. ‘This is a compromise, not a negotiation. If I’m doing this to move forwards, I want you to move forwards with me. My closure, in exchange for your self-confidence. Do we have a deal?’ This isn’t a deal you ever thought you’d be making, but if this is what it takes, so be it. Alucard might not even make you keep it up after a while, or he’ll get so distracted by your sexy new apparel that he forgets all about the ‘beautiful’ part.

Reluctantly, you nod. ‘We do, but I’m only doing this for you.’ You’re never going to find true peace with who you are and how you look, but you’ll at least try.

Alucard hums. ‘Likewise. Now, why don’t you put your new necklace on, and we’ll go downstairs and reheat dinner? Soup doesn’t taste all that nice cold.’ While that part is true, the part about the necklace…

You shake your head. ‘I still don’t think I can wear it, but I’ll accept it, at least.’ Who knows? Maybe one day you will feel worthy of wearing such a thing?

Handing you the necklace again, Alucard rolls his eyes. ‘You really are hopeless sometimes. I hope you’re not going to be this reluctant everytime I present you with jewellery.’ He plans to give you more? Like what? If you already have one necklace, you don’t need anymore. Is he thinking of a bangle? Or of a ring?

… No, he doesn’t mean that kind of ring. The one that you would willingly accept, without question. That’s the only kind of jewellery he would never offer you.

You shrug, trying not to let your thoughts show. ‘I promise nothing. I don’t like it when you waste money on me. You’ve already given me so much, I really don’t need anything more.’ Just him. As long as you have him, you’re happy. That’s all you need in life.

Alucard leans forward, giving you a quick kiss. ‘It’s not a waste, it’s an investment. I’m investing in your wardrobe so that you finally have something to do your beauty justice. Besides, you are a lady of wealth and nobility now. You should have all the finer things in life.’ No, you’re actually the mistress of the half-human son of history’s most notorious night creature, who just so happens to live in a castle.

Then again, that’s an unfair thing to label Alucard. For all the abilities his lineage gives him, his heart is still very much human.

You’re just happy that it’s also very much yours.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The relief Alucard feels is palpable. For a moment, he almost lost the woman he loves to a stupid arguement, and he would have never gotten over that.

In truth, he still isn’t convinced about those bodies. He’ll still know they’re buried near his home, he just won’t be able to smell them. Then again, that is a blessing; the smell is enough to make even a man as used to death as he is retch.

Touching them is going to be a living hell, as decayed as they are. The last time he touched them was when he put them there, back when they were… fresh. It’s an unpleasant job, but for her, and for the chance that it’ll bring him closure, he’ll take it. 

Come to think of it, he probably should have traded his closure for something else. Her ring size perhaps, so he knows what he’s looking for when he goes to buy one? He’s getting closer to the point of asking her now, especially with all of their walls falling away. 

No, what he asked for was the right thing. She needs to stop putting herself down all the time. She is a beautiful flower, and he will see her bloom. That way, if she decides that what he can give her isn’t enough, and she walks away, at least she’ll be harder to cut down. She’ll be a lady any man would beg to court, as much as that thought breaks Alucard’s heart.

That is irrelevant, and once again he is getting ahead of himself. For now, there is only one question to ask.

As they make their way down towards the kitchen, him carrying the soup and her toying with the necklace that she refuses to wear but apparently loves to look at, he finds himself asking it. ‘If we are once again on good terms, will you be joining me in our bed again tonight?’ Her eyes widen, and he knows why; he hadn’t meant to say that. It was a slip of the tongue.

However, the more he thinks about it, the more he realises it is true. It is their bed now. He never wants her to leave it. She’s spoilt him too much this last fortnight. Besides, one day it really will be their bed; their marital bed, if she is agreeable.

After recovering from the shock, his lover smiles. ‘If that’s where you want me, that’s where I’ll be.’ God, but he loves her. He wishes he could marry her right here and now, consummate their relationship tonight.

But he can’t. All in good time. There are things that need to be done before he can try for the life he so desperately wants.

For now, at least he has her love. That is enough to reassure him that he still has a chance at the future he’s dreaming of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so next chapter is definitely gonna be gross, but I’m sure you’ve all got it figured out as to why…
> 
> Also, one of us is very much still unwell, and has actually gotten a little worse, so delays on the next chapter are looking more than likely. We’re still going to try for Friday, but it could be as late as Monday. It really does depend, and we’ll try to keep you posted (also, just to reassure everyone, it’s not ‘The Virus’. Just want to make that clear).
> 
> For now, thank you for sticking with us, and we hope to see you on Friday as intended ^.^


	33. Let The Bodies Hit The Floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Well, we're back ^.^ And with a warning; this chapter is kinda gross. Still, we've tried to keep it vague as always, so hopefully it's not too bad ^.^
> 
> Enjoy, and thank you all for being so patient with us ^.^

Not for the first time in recent memory, you’re gradually awoken by the feeling of Alucard’s lips trailing kisses along your jaw.

It’s something that could become all-too easy to get used to, should he decide to make this a regular occurrence. You love the contrast between his soft lips and his hot breath, and that is to say nothing of the sweet sound his kisses make. It’s enough to make you hum in contentment, pushing yourself back against Alucard so you can snuggle him for a little longer.

Realising now that you’re awake, Alucard chuckles. ‘We need to get up, princess. We both have something important to do today.’ Oh, that’s right. The bodies. Taka and Sumi are being buried today, or so Alucard promised. Then again, if he’s reminding you of that task, it means he hasn’t changed his mind.

Just the thought of the terrible task ahead makes you wake as if someone had poured ice water over you, and you turn around so you can snuggle against his chest. ‘I’m proud of you for doing this, Adrian. I promise, I’m going to be right by your side to help. You’re not alone in this.’ He’s never going to be alone again, not while you’re still breathing.

Alucard kisses the top of your head. ‘I know. I would not be doing this if it wasn’t for you.’ He kisses your head again before he pulls away, sitting up in bed so he can stretch. ‘So then, if you would like to go and get changed, I’d like you to complete your part of our compromise.’ Oh. You’d almost completely forgotten about that. You have to say that you’re beautiful… into a mirror… wearing only your underwear.

Whose idea was that, again?

As reluctant as you are, you did promise him that you would, and you don’t want to go back on a promise. Besides, he has to bury his former friends today. There’s no way that what you have to do is more painful than that.

Sitting up yourself, you try to think of which underwear you can put on, regretting your decision to buy so many scandalous pieces. There isn’t anything you really feel comfortable wearing in front of Alucard, at least not right now. On an emotional day like this, the last thing he’s going to want to see is your scarred body...

An idea hits you. ‘Could I just do it in my nightgown instead?’ It’s basically underwear anyway, and it saves you having to go off to your room to get changed, only to have to walk back here again.

Alucard thinks for a moment, before he nods. ‘If you’re willing to do it without argument, your nightgown is acceptable. I would like to see you do it in your underwear soon though, if only for my own selfish reasons.’ Yet his reasons aren’t selfish enough that he took you up on your initial counteroffer of a full underwear modelling session!

Thankful that Alucard is at least being merciful enough to allow this one concession, you leave bed, turning around so you’re looking back at him. ‘I can agree to that. Do you have a mirror we can use then?’ There’s one in your room for sure, if he doesn’t mind going to grab it. If not, there has to be at least one more lurking around the castle somewhere, surely?

Leaving bed himself, Alucard smiles. ‘One moment.’ With that, he leaves, presumably to fetch a mirror. Despite the situation and what today is going to mean for your relationship, you can’t help but stare after him, admiring his toned legs as he slowly fades from view. One day, maybe you’ll have your own legs wrapped around them as he slowly makes love to you…

No. Not today. Today is somber, not sexual. When he’s had time to grieve, to move on, then you can start thinking about his body like that again, and how best to bring up the subject of taking your physical relationship one step further.

It doesn’t take long for Alucard to return, a freestanding body length mirror in his arms. He places it in an empty corner of the room, and you take that as your cue to walk over to him, still slightly unsure about this.

Alucard is quick to stand by your side, before gesturing towards the mirror. ‘Here we are then. We’ll leave this in here so you can tell yourself of your beauty each and every morning without excuse. One thing I’d like to point out about the mirrors in this castle is that they’re unique. In most cases, mirrors are backed with silver, but not ours. There’s a good reason for this.’ Oh, you know this one!

You nod your head. ‘Silver is harmful to vampires. If the mirror was backed with silver, you might get hurt if you ever tried to move it.’ And that’s the last thing you’d ever want, especially because this was all his idea.

Alucard chuckles. ‘That is true, but there is a far more practical reason. The vampiric aversion to silver is so absolute that it will not show our reflection. A lot of people think that a vampire has no reflection because we lack souls, but my father disproved that through tests of his own. Rather, he saw his reflection in a glass once, and figured that there had to be a reason glass would show him what a mirror would not. You’ve seen my reflection in the stream too, which also disproves that theory. That said, maybe it is different for dhampirs. In any case, I’m rambling now. Why don’t you take a good look at yourself in the mirror?’ You’d rather not, but if he really insists…

Stepping forward a little more, you see your whole body in the mirror, your nightgown hanging off you in a way that’s almost… pleasing. That you’re willing to say that almost certainly has something to do with that fact that most of your body is covered. Only your arms, neck, and a fraction of legs are actually visible, so most of your scars are hidden from view. Looking at yourself right now, you might actually be able to admit that you’re pretty.

Still, when it comes time to say the words, you turn your head away, and mutter them quietly. ‘I’m beautiful.’ It’s such a lie, but if it pleases Alucard to hear it, then so be it. You’ll just keep lying until he’s satisfied.

Alucard tuts, before coming up behind you and placing his hands on your cheeks, bringing your gaze forwards again. ‘Do not tell the floor. Tell yourself. And do it louder, please.’ Your reflection grows slightly pinker at his request, and you wish Alucard would drop his hands so you could turn away again.

If you can’t turn away, you can at least focus on Alucard’s reflection instead. ‘I’m beautiful.’ There, that wasn’t too quiet. That should satisfy him!

Sighing, Alucard moves his hands, placing them on your waist now instead. ‘I already know that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are making this more difficult than it has to be. Should I offer you some encouragement, perhaps? If you manage to say it properly this third time, I’ll kiss your neck. Would you like that?’ That’s something that benefits you both, but you do so like it when he kisses your neck…

Clenching your fists, you stare at your reflection, noticing how your cheeks are even redder now. ‘I’m beautiful.’ Surely that’s what he wanted now? You’ve said it three times!

You see Alucard’s reflection smile before he sweeps your hair away with his chin and gives you the kisses he promised, taking his time trailing them up and down your neck as his hands stroke your sides. You watch him all the while, eyes threatening to flutter shut as you enjoy the sensations his actions cause.

After a few moments, Alucard’s kisses stop, and his chin rests against your shoulder so he can speak. ‘You are beautiful, my love. Inside and out. That’s why you deserve beautiful things.’ Quickly travelling across the room, Alucard retrieves the necklace he gave you yesterday, before standing behind you again and holding it against your neck. ‘Won’t you please wear it for me? It would bring me such joy, especially today.’ No, you can’t, and not just because you’d look stupid…

You shake your head. ‘I can’t, Adrian. Not today. I don’t want to wear something this nice on a day like today.’ Surely that’s a good enough reason for him?

With a sigh, Alucard pulls away, putting the necklace back where it was. ‘Very well. Another day, then. For now, would you mind leaving me to get changed? Also, If you wish to accompany me after breakfast, I would advise wearing something old. I won’t have the smell spoiling one of your new dresses.’ It’s not just the smell you have to worry about; you intend to be as hands-on today as he’ll allow.

Well, you’ll be hands on even if he doesn’t allow it; he is not going to have to do everything by himself.

Not wanting to tell him what you’re intending just yet, you merely nod. ‘Of course. I’ll make breakfast, too. You just relax, okay?’ The last thing he should be doing today is chores. This is all about helping him move on.

Alucard smiles at you. ‘I can’t refuse such an offer from my beautiful princess. I shall see you in a moment, then.’ He shall indeed, for you will be there, ready to eat breakfast before finally ridding both of you of your unwanted guests.

Leaving him to change, you can’t help but feel glad that he didn’t change his mind. The last thing you want is another argument. This is about moving forwards, and another argument would only push you back again.

No. No more arguments. Only happiness, once this dark cloud has finally been lifted.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After a quick breakfast of oats and honey (the latter of which Alucard had taken great delight in licking off of your lips after you’d managed to spill a little), Alucard insisted on doing the dishes before leading you through the castle and out the front door, a shovel in his hands. He’s apparently planning to bury them behind the castle, in two graves he has no intention of marking. The plan is to just bury them and have done with it, no pomp or ceremony necessary.

As soon as you step outside, the smell of the bodies hits you, and even Alucard makes a face. ‘I’m sorry for making you suffer through the smell of them. Just be thankful you don’t have a highly advanced sense of smell.’ You just feel bad for him, having the smell of rot and decay constantly up his nose. At least you’re going to fix that.

With a firm nod, you gesture towards one of the bodies. ‘I’ll get them down. You make a start on digging, okay?’ In truth, it’ll probably take him far less time to dig the graves, given how strong he is.

Alucard frowns. ‘No. You are here to observe, not to assist. I can’t ask you to do that for me.’ So he was truly willing to do it all himself? Just because you asked him to?

That only strengthens your resolve. ‘It’s good that you’re not asking, then. You never have to touch them again, Adrian. I won’t let you. They have harmed you enough. I’ll put them in the holes if you dig them.’ Besides, this is technically the easier job; at least moving the bodies shouldn’t be too taxing.

Alucard’s eyes grow wide for a moment, before settling again. ‘Very well. Just know that this is the first and last time you’ll ever have to deal with such unpleasantness. A lady like you should never have to sully herself for a man like me.’ What does he mean by that? You love the man that Alucard is, and he deserves to have people in his life that will do anything to make him comfortable.

With a small kiss to his lips, you smile. ‘While I can think of more enjoyable ways for you to sully me, I don’t mind. Today is going to be hard enough for you without having to do this, too. Besides which, after everything you’ve done for me, this is nothing. We’re just putting your old life to rest so you can start a new one. A happy one, with someone who loves you more than any other.’ Nobody else is ever going to compare to him. You’ll stand by him until the day he asks you to leave, and be thankful that he let you stay for any time at all.

A flash of something wicked gleans in Alucard’s golden eyes. ‘I suppose we should finish this so you can tell me in detail how I am to sully you in future, then. If you need any help, or change your mind, I am never more than a shout away. Tell me, and we’ll change the plan. I never plan to bring you unhappiness again.’ When has he ever made you unhappy? Apart from back when you were scared of him… and that argument… and a few other times when he was a little too curt with his responses…

Still, you’ve let them all go now, happy that you’ve moved past them all. ‘I promise. Any problems, and I’ll let you know. We’re in this together.’ You’re just glad that no one is here to overhear your pact to hide several bodies with Alucard, especially after what he did to your assailants a while back.

Alucard leaves you then, and you face the first of the bodies, swallowing down the bile in your throat. Apart from the smell and lack of soft tissue in places, they seem fairly intact. The real test is going to be getting them off the spikes…

Starting with what you think is a man’s body, you grab his hips, holding your breath for a moment as you work his body upward, trying to free it from its wooden display spike.

Without warning, one of his arms falls off, and your gasp of surprise makes you forget all about holding your nose; the now-potent smell makes you vomit instantly, covering the corpse in half-digested oats.

Alucard’s hand is patting your back before you’ve even finished, his voice soft and comforting. ‘I don’t think you should be out here. Please, go back inside and let me do this. I don’t want them to cause you any pain, either.’ A part of you is sorely tempted to take him up on that, but another part of you is resolved completely; you’re going to do this.

Spitting out the last traces of vomit, you stand tall, not willing to let this beat you. ‘I’m alright, Adrian. I’m going to do this for you.’ Better you throw up than him, after all. You never knew these people in life, so at least that aspect won’t affect you.

Alucard sighs. ‘As you wish, my love. Bring them around the back when you can. Thank you again.’ You hear him leave then, and steel yourself for the task ahead, one you’ve just made even more difficult; now you can smell rotting meat and vomit mixed together.

Oddly comforted by the idea that you now have nothing in your stomach to reject, you wrangle with Taka’s corpse once more, this time managing to slip it from the pole before unceremoniously tossing it on the ground. That only leaves the pole itself, something you forgot to ask about. Surely that needs to go, too?

Grabbing it firmly at the base, you pull and twist at the same time, almost relieved when it comes up with less resistance than expected. The only thing that denies you total relief is that you pull too hard as a result, causing you to stumble backwards into Sumi’s still-spiked body, causing it to make a cracking sound that you’d rather not discover the source of. This really isn’t your day so far…

With the stench of death now something permanently etched into your mind, you turn around, hoping that you’ll have less trouble with Sumi. As bad as it sounds, there’s a part of you that hates her more than Taka, despite the fact that they both screwed him over equally. Is it because she’s a woman, probably the first one Alucard ever made love to? If her and Taka had never come into his life, would you have been his first instead? Part of you hates them both so much for ruining his first time like that. If you’d only met him first, he could have experienced that with someone who loves him. Instead, all he has is scars to remind him of that night, the night that should have been so special to him.

When you reach that moment with Alucard, you’re going to make it right. You’ll let him experience you like it is his first time. You’ll make up for all the hurt he experienced a hundred times over. You love him, and you’re going to fix what these corpses did to him in life no matter what.

One final heave has Sumi’s body off her former perch, and you dump her body on top of Taka’s in a heap, making a start on her pole. Making sure not to be so rough this time, you manage to free it without incident, almost smiling when you realise the difficult part of your task is over; you just need to get them over to Alucard.

Making sure to grab Taka’s wayward arm, you try to pick both bodies up at once, surprised when you can actually manage it. Then again, considering how decayed they are, you’re really only carrying their bones, and the few bits of flesh and sinew the birds or the bugs haven’t finished off yet.

Still, just because you can pick them up, that doesn’t mean you’re going to have an easy job of carrying them; even bone by itself is pretty heavy.

Trying not to focus on the weight, you slowly make your way to Alucard, hoping that he has the graves ready; you’d rather just tip them in and be done with it, rather than having to drop them and pick them up again.

You practically sigh with relief when you spot Alucard peering into two open graves, dug deep enough to hide the scent from any passing animals (at least, you’d assume so). The one thing you can’t see is his shovel though. Has he put it down somewhere?

Before you have time to process that thought, you slip on something, body hurling towards the ground as the corpses in your arms pile on top of you.

Thankfully, your head never hits the ground, as Alucard is beside you fast enough to break your fall. ‘I’m so sorry, my love. I was careless with my shovel placement.’ He helps you to your feet then, before gesturing to your burden. ‘I’m impressed that you have the strength to carry them both. The graves are ready, but please be careful. Seeing you tumble into a grave is how a lot of my nightmares start.’ Does he have those nightmares often? Like the night you dreamt he found you dead in the stream? You only hope that having you in his bed is of some comfort to him, when he wakes from such nightmares.

Shaking yourself a little to try and regain your shaken resolve, you walk over to one of the graves and tilt your arms, allowing Sumi’s body and Taka’s arm to tumble into the grave. ‘Should I retrieve the arm and put it in with Taka?’ You ask Alucard, half-wondering if he’ll actually agree to let you near the body now it’s in the grave.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘Leave it. It’s in the ground now, so it should remain there. Besides, in many cultures, they used to mix the charred ashes of the dead together so that their spirits might form a connection in the afterlife, and choose to converse with each other rather than haunt the living. Perhaps the same might be true of Taka and Sumi.’ You’ve never heard of that before, but it’s an interesting idea for sure.

There’s only one thing that bothers you about that however, and you tell Alucard just as you throw Taka’s body into his grave. ‘Maybe I should take it out, then. I think they should both have to spend the rest of eternity alone for what they did to you.’ Alucard himself might have suffered a similar fate, had you not been here to keep him company.

Alucard sighs. ‘Better they spend eternity together than constantly haunting us. There are enough ghosts in this castle as it is. From now on, no more death. Only life. Our life together, for as long as you’ll have me.’ You’re pretty sure that’s your line; after all, why would you ever want to leave the man that’s given you more love and kindness than you’d ever expected to find?

Not wanting to touch Alucard when you smell like those corpses, you settle for a soft smile from a distance. ‘Forever, then. I don’t plan to ever leave your side.’ You look down at the bodies then, satisfied to see them both in the ground at last. ‘Would you like to say anything? You don’t have to, but if you did, now would be the time to do it.’ You don’t expect he has much to say really. He’s probably already cursed their names in every language he knows, told them how much he hates them for what they did to him.

Alucard grunts for a moment, before looking down at the graves. ‘I’d like to thank you both for what you did to me. It took having my faith in humanity shattered for me to find someone truly deserving of my trust. While it is true that my trust would have been easier to obtain had the two of you never abused me like you did, I would have no way of knowing for sure just how well-placed it is without having to tread cautiously. What you did to me has taught me much, but all lessons must come to an end. No longer will I spend my days fixating over what you did that night. I will create new memories, ones that I can cherish, to replace every moment I spent with the two of you. The scars you’ve left on me, and the bones I lay to rest here today, will be all that you are to me. I showed you kindness once, and you abused that in the worst way possible because you felt that it wasn’t real. May you at least believe that I do this final act of respect with a degree of sincerity.’ With that, Alucard grabs his shovel, and begins to fill the graves up one scoop at a time, watching as the bodies of the people he once knew slowly become one with the ground.

Once he’s finished, Alucard pats the dirt a little with the shovel, before finally tossing it to one side. ‘It is done. They are gone.’ You wish more than anything you could wrap your arms around him in comfort, but your dirty clothes make that something you just can’t do…

So you offer him a different form of comfort. ‘I’m so proud of you, Adrian. What you did today was the bravest thing imaginable. Why don’t I run you a bath to show my appreciation? You’re covered in quite a bit of dirt, and a soak in the bath is a good way to unwind.’ Goodness knows he must need to do a lot of that, considering what he just did.

Alucard shakes his head, but he smiles also. ‘You really are an angel, but I must decline. I am the one that should be showing my appreciation, and to be terribly rude, you are in much greater need of a bath than I. I would like to draw you a bath, if you will allow it.’ This isn’t right. You didn’t do anything really. If anything, you made the day worse thanks to unceremoniously coating Taka’s corpse in vomit.

When you point that out, Alucard frowns. ‘You saved me the pain of having to hold them, to remind myself of how it felt when I first put them there. What you truly deserve for such a thing is for me to fall at your feet and shower you with gifts and praise, but as you won’t accept that, I can at least offer you one small comfort. Please, my love?’ Well, when he says it like that…

Defeated, you nod. ‘Alright. I do really smell, anyway. I think we might have to burn this dress, you know. I don’t think the stench of rot will ever come out.’ From both the dress and your nose, for that matter.

With his frown softening, Alucard starts to walk back to the front of the castle, and you follow him as he goes. ‘I’ll see what I can do, but I’m glad that you heeded my advice. I’ll make sure to have a fresh dress waiting for you in the bathroom.’ That’s sweet of him, considering you risk passing on the smell as you carry it there.

Still, at least after today, you’ll never have to smell those corpses ever again.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

True to his word (something that no longer comes as a surprise), Alucard had indeed been quick to draw you a bath, laying out something new for you to wear alongside the usual bath paraphernalia. You’d been all-too eager to strip off the moment Alucard left the room, abandoning your dress in a heap on the floor before sinking into the warm water.

One of the first things that registers as you allow the warm water to embrace your body is just how much your arms ache. Carrying those bodies was no small thing, and you’re probably going to be feeling the effects of it for a while. If you were to ask nicely, would Alucard consider giving your arms a nice rubdown? If nothing else, the feeling of his hands roaming your body would offer a welcome distraction, even if he is unable to soothe their aching. Then again, if anyone deserves a massage, it’s him. Digging those graves must have been hard work, in a different way to the act of burying his former friends.

Still, at least it’s over with now. Hopefully, given time, Alucard will find it easier to let himself move on, now that one the reminders of that night is gone. The only sign that those bodies were ever on display now are the poles themselves, and Alucard has promised that he’s going to chop them up and burn them while you’re bathing. With them gone, it’ll be as if you never had such a grotesque display right on your front door.

With a contented hum, you close your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the water as you allow one of your hands to weave into your hair. Despite the fact that your hair feels mostly clean, you’re going to have to wash it just to be sure. In fact, you might even wash it twice, just to be sure. Alucard wouldn’t mind if you used-

Wait, what’s that?

Opening your eyes, you watch as your hands slowly produce something solid from your hair, only to scream at the top of your lungs when you realise what it is; it’s an ear! How the fuck did that get into your hair?! Why didn’t you notice it sooner?!

Still screaming, you toss it across the room, as if you’re afraid it’ll suddenly start attacking you or something. Shit, it looks like Taka and Sumi won’t be put to rest so easily. Now Alucard is going to have to dig up one of the graves, bringing all the memories back again…

The door to the bathroom bursts open, and Alucard rushes in, staring at you in wide-eyed terror. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’ He looks every bit the predator at the moment, ready to fight an unseen foe for the sake of his mate.

You can only point to the ear, your whole body shaking.

Alucard sighs. ‘Ah. That’s unfortunate. It’s no wonder the smell of death was so potent on you. I’ll dispose of this now, if you…’ He stares at you then, before clearing his throat. ‘You may wish to cover up, princess. Your modesty is in jeopardy.’ Your modesty? What does that have to do-

Oh, shit. You’re naked. You’re naked in the bath, and Alucard has an undisturbed view of your bare breasts.

Crossing your arms over your chest and bringing your knees up, you nod. ‘Thank you for coming to my aid, Adrian. Sorry, I think I overreacted a little.’ Considering that less than an hour ago you were carrying entire rotting corpses with minimal effort, one ear shouldn’t have made you react quite so violently. Then again, you expected to be holding the bodies…

Waving a hand dismissively, Alucard looks away from you, his cheeks bright red. ‘It’s quite alright. I am always here to assist you. I’ll leave you to bathe in peace now.’ He walks over to the door then, pausing a moment when he reaches the threshold. ‘I would like to take the opportunity to once again remind you that you are beautiful, and that I look forward to seeing more of that beauty again in the future.’ With that, he leaves, shutting the bathroom door behind him to grant you privacy once again.

Trying your hardest to relax again, you find your own cheeks heating up, thinking on Alucard’s words. That last sentence was surprisingly inelegant for a man like him. What does he mean ‘more of that beauty again’? It doesn’t make sense, unless…

Oh. He liked what he saw of your breasts. That’s the only thing it can mean.

That thought makes you smile. If he truly likes them that much, he’s going to be a lucky man soon enough; with this final hurdle behind you, you’re more than ready to commit to moving your physical relationship forwards.

You just have to wait until he’s ready to do the same.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Despite the fact that he is no stranger to violence and dismemberment, Alucard has never felt quite so disgusted in his life. It’s as if Taka and Sumi are trying to somehow torment his lover from the grave, and that is abhorrent. This particular piece of his past isn’t getting a burial; it’s going on the fire with the remains of the spikes.

As big as the castle is, it has many fireplaces, so it hadn’t taken Alucard long to find one fit for purpose. It had taken even less time to start a fire, managing to set the first of the kindling alight just as he heard a cry for help. Hopefully, that spark hasn’t faded to embers by now, or else disposing of this ear will take too long, considering he now has important business to take care of.

To Alucard’s relief, the fire has yet to burn out, meaning he can complete this task swiftly; the soon it’s over, the better.

Alucard tosses the ear straight onto the fire, watching it burn for a moment before making a start of the wood. It takes a lot of heat to burn through flesh, so he knows that he may yet be seeing that ear again. Still, she’ll never see it again, and in Alucard’s mind, that is victory enough.

Calling upon his supernatural strength, Alucard reduces the once tall spikes into mere splinters with an alarming swiftness. Tossing as much on the fire as he can, he places the rest in a nearby basket, planning to return in a little while to deal with the rest. For now, there is something else he needs to do, both for himself and his lover.

Practically sprinting to a nearby bathroom, Alucard washes his hands thoroughly before perching himself on the edge of the bath, his hands travelling down to wrestle with his trousers.

He shouldn't be doing this. Not today. Not after what he just did. It seems like the ultimate disrespect, pleasuring himself moments after putting Taka and Sumi in the ground, but he has to. If he doesn’t expel his desire right now, he risks pouncing on his lover the next time he sees her, and he doesn’t want that. He still intends to be slow, to be gentle…

Grasping his erection firmly, he allows his mind to descend into fantasy, her breasts the only thing in his mind he can visualise with perfect clarity in his lust-crazed state. Oh, but the things he intends to do to her breasts when he finally gets the chance. The very first thing he’s going to do when he finally has them bare and for the taking is take one of those nipples into his mouth. Just imagining the little moans she’ll make as he teases one of those sensitive buds with his lips and his teeth is almost enough to send him over the edge. He’ll have her body begging for his touch with just a few little teases, and she’ll love every moment of it. He’ll make sure of that.

Maybe once he’s certain she can take it, he’ll slip a hand between her legs, feel for himself just how much his touch is affecting her. Would she like that? Would she like him to slip a finger inside her as he indulges himself by switching nipples to give its twin equal attention? Fuck, but he wouldn’t be able to stop. Not until both her nipples were impossibly hard and wet with his saliva, and his mouth began to crave something sweeter.

Just thinking about how she must taste between her legs is too much for Alucard, his free hand gripping the bath so hard he almost shatters it as he sprays the bathroom floor with his cum.

Shit, but he can’t keep doing this. He swore to himself and to her that he’d take things slowly, but it’s killing him to do so. Even if he has no intention to take her virginity until they’re engaged at the very least (should they even make it that far, once his final secret is out), that doesn’t mean that there aren’t other ways they can explore the physical aspects of their relationship. He wants to touch her, to taste her, to feel her bare beneath him as he makes her feel things no man has ever made her feel before. He needs her touch as much as he needs her love, and he’s not above begging to get it.

That settles it, then. Once the dust is settled, he’s going to bring up the subject of their physical relationship, and hope that she is also ready to move forward with him.

After all, the past is behind him now. It’s time for him to start moving forwards.

As long as she is with him, he’s looking forward to that future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... So, who's ready to take it to the next level? ;)
> 
> For now, thank you again for being so amazing and patient, and all being well, we'll be back on Wednesday with something a little spicy ;3


	34. There's Nothing Holding Me Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Well, here we are. Enjoy ;3

Even after three weeks of keeping to your side of the arrangement with Alucard, you’re still not used to calling yourself beautiful.

It feels strange, having to lie to yourself each and every morning while Alucard watches. Whatever his plan is, it isn’t working, but that could have a lot to do with the fact that you’re still not doing exactly as he asked; for the past three weeks, you’ve stuck to doing it in your nightgown.

To your great surprise, it’s not your own insecurities that come to mind when you think of a reason for such modesty. Ever since you saw Alucard’s reaction to seeing you in the nude, you’ve actually been feeling much more reassured when it comes to him seeing more of your body. While the face he made was clearly one of surprise and embarrassment, the look in his eyes as he’d hurried away told what you’re hoping is a different story. If you know Alucard as well as you think you do, then you’re now sure that he now finds a great deal of appeal in your ‘withered frame’ (although technically, you can’t call yourself withered anymore, something that is entirely Alucard’s doing). 

No, the reason is much simpler, and it’s one that you’ve been using for what feels like forever; he needs time to grieve. You don’t want to distract him from his mourning. He just buried Taka and Sumi, the last thing he needs is you waltzing around trying to instigate things! In time, you’ve been telling yourself. It’ll happen in time…

… That was up until yesterday afternoon, when you finally reached a breaking point.

It was during a particularly heated kiss, the kind you’ve become used to receiving from Alucard ever since that incident in the Belmont library. One of Alucard’s hands had been resting on your thigh, your dress the only thing between his skin and yours. His thumb started stroking your leg, and he’d brushed it against you in a way that made you yelp into his mouth. He’d pulled away then, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes, and you’d known right then and there that he’s probably healed enough now to take things to the next level. 

Still, you’d backed away from him, almost changing your mind after he pouted at you like a sad puppy. Instead of going back on your decision, you decided to remain adamant that the kiss doesn’t continue, for one simple reason; if you’re taking this further, he deserves it to be special.

That’s why you’re currently in the bathroom, tying the laces up on the underwear you received from Sylvia the day you collected your new clothes. 

You probably should have looked through each and every one of the packages to find the perfect underwear set, but this should do well enough. Besides, you don’t really have time for that, considering you’re dressing under false pretences. Alucard had expected you to do it in your nightgown today, but you’d told him you had to relieve yourself desperately, so he’d been happy to let you scamper off before your morning task. 

As astute as he is, Alucard has probably figured out exactly what you’re doing, but that doesn’t stop you from feeling giddy. This will be the first time in a long time that he’s been able to take a proper look at you, if you’re not including what happened in the bath. What you’re about to do could make or break your relationship. If he likes what he sees in a moment, you’re definitely going to try and ask him for something more intimate than usual. If he doesn’t, then… well, you’re hoping it won’t come to that. You wouldn’t be standing here half-naked if you felt like rejection was a serious consideration.

Maybe you have grown more confident, after all?

With your underwear now properly in place, you walk back to Alucard’s bedroom, feeling more exposed than ever. As sheer as this underwear is, you might as well have walked to his room totally naked! You might have even done that at this point, were it not for Sylvia’s insistence that the underwear will entice him more. At least if he doesn’t like what he sees, the underwear does grant you a small degree of modesty. Very small. Basically none, really. Oh dear. Maybe this was a bad idea, after all?

It’s too late to back out now even if it is a good idea; you’re just about to walk into Alucard’s bedroom.

As you step over the threshold, you can already hear Alucard talking. ‘There you are, my love. I was ge-‘ you stop walking just as you see Alucard standing next to the bed, watching as his eyes roam your body. ‘Oh my. You look… well, you can tell your reflection exactly how you look. Assume the position, please.’ That’s really all he has to say? Maybe he really doesn’t find you attractive, after all?

You pout, crossing your arms over your chest as you see a hint of disappointment in Alucard’s eyes. ‘I’d like you to tell me how I look, too. It always means a lot when I hear it from you.’ When he says it, you almost believe it. It goes a lot further than you lying to yourself.

Alucard trails his tongue against his bottom lip, swelling hard. ‘I find myself at a loss for words. Once again you have stolen all semblance of thought from me. That being said, I would sacrifice all concepts of thought if it meant seeing you like this every morning. The last time I saw your body so clearly, you were but a half-starved thief. To those days I say good riddance, for the beauty that stands before me now is that of a goddess, and I am glad that I alone am permitted to worship you.’ Oh, but if only you could tackle him onto the bed right now and tell him how much you want him. As it is, you have to hold back, to let him make the first move. You promised him control, and as tempting as it is to be assertive, the decision must be one that you give him. You have to tell him that you want to take things further, rather than getting physical.

Still, maybe this morning is a bad time, if only because if he does say no, the entire day might become tainted with awkwardness. At least his reaction is promising, if a little odd.

You let your arms fall to your sides, watching as Alucard’s eyes head straight for your breasts. ‘You sound remarkably eloquent for a man that apparently can’t think straight, but thank you. I’m glad you like it.’ You walk over to the mirror then, unsurprised when Alucard’s reflection is quick to join yours. ‘How much longer do I have to keep this up for?’ It’s practically been a month, and he’s still adamant. It seems like a pointless task, really.

Alucard’s hands settle on your hips, his thumbs slipping in through the laces so he can touch your bare skin. ‘Until you see what I see. I am a very patient man, and I intend to have you by my side for a very long time. I could quite happily have you stand in front of this mirror for years if that is what it takes to show you your true beauty. In fact, maybe I shall. It all depends on you.

‘Now then, what shall I offer you as an incentive today? More kisses to your neck? Perhaps a massage of some sort? What does my princess desire?’ He really shouldn’t ask you that, because right now, your desires are all over the place. Your mind immediately hits the gutter, thinking of the various ways you could ask him to enjoy your body. The one that comes to mind the most is reminiscent of that dream you’d once had, where Alucard had come to you in the middle of the night and asked to taste…

Noticing your blush in the mirror, you hope he’s assuming that it’s the thought of kissing that has caused you to redden. ‘Some kisses to my neck would be perfect. As for earning my reward…’ You stand up straight, staring your reflection in the eyes. ‘I am beautiful.’ Once again, you have managed to stand in front of the mirror and say something that isn’t totally true. You hope that makes Alucard happy…

It clearly does, as Alucard tilts his head, bringing his lips down against your neck. As you allow your eyes to flutter closed with emotion, you realise that he is still firmly gripping your hips, pulling them closer to him as his mouth continues to move. You fight the urge to moan as your ass makes contact with something hard, proof beyond a doubt that Alucard wants your body. Shit, but you’d give him your virginity right here and now if he’d only ask for it!

All too soon, Alucard pulls away, and you open your eyes only to notice a vivid red mark on your neck; he must have sucked on you while you were too busy focusing on his erection. 

Alucard deliberately takes a few steps away before speaking, adjusting his clothing as he goes. ‘You did well today, as always. I should like you to do that in your underwear every day from now on, until perhaps one day you feel confident in the nude. Until then, what you’re doing is enough. More than enough, really.’ But still not enough that he’d ask you for more? You really will have to tell him he can have you at this rate…

Well, you’ll have to do it later now; Alucard is gesturing for you to leave now so he can get dressed. Later it is then, but you will make your desires known, especially given the fact that he let his be known by rubbing it against you.

You just need to think of a way to do it.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Lunch manages to pass without you bringing up the one thing you’re most desperate to discuss, and as dinner progresses, you’re beginning to wonder if you’ll ever have the courage to ask for what you want.

Not that you hadn’t tried at lunch. All day you’ve been subtly tugging at your dress, trying to draw attention to your breasts. You’d even been brazen enough to put your hand on Alucard’s thigh as you thanked him for lunch, but he was quick to stand without drawing attention to it. If only you weren’t so concerned about triggering another episode, you might have tried to drag him back to you. As it is, you’d watched as he’d washed the dishes, staring at the shape of his ass through his trousers as you’d fantasised about the day you’ll actually be brave enough to make something happen.

As it is, today just doesn’t seem to be that day. Today, you’re just going to have to be patient.

While you’re fine with the situation, any disappointment you feel must show, because you notice Alucard placing his fork down and looking at you with a frown. ‘Are you feeling alright, princess? You haven’t been quite yourself today. Have I done something to upset you?’ Trust him to instantly assume your sadness is his fault. Doesn’t he realise that he only seems to bring you happiness these days?

You reach out to him with one of your hands, lacing your fingers through his own. ‘I’m fine, Adrian. I’ve just been doing some thinking, that’s all.’ Thinking mostly about how you’d love to see him naked, but he doesn’t need to know that. 

Alucard sighs. ‘Alright. Feel free to share them with me, if you want to. They don’t…’ He takes a deep breath then, nervous about something. ‘Is this about yesterday? I apologise if I made you uncomfortable, but that wasn’t my intention. I just enjoy touching you a little too much it seems. If you need us to go back a step, I understand.’ Shit, running away was a mistake. Even if you had wanted to make it special today, you’ve now managed to cause Alucard a degree of self-doubt, the last thing you ever want him to have when it comes to your relationship.

You shake your head. ‘That’s not it. I like it when you touch me, Adrian. If I didn’t, I would tell you explicitly to stop it. You know that, don’t you?’ Just as he had once asked you to stop when he was having his flashback, you know that if you only give him that single word, he’ll back off in an instant.

Squeezing your hand, Alucard smiles gently. ‘I do. As much as I trust you to stop when I need to, I trust you to tell me when my actions are too much. Our relationship is built on love and trust, not fear and obligation. That you love me at all is more than I could have ever hoped for. The things you let me do to your body are an added bonus.’ His eyes roam your frame then, as if he’s thinking of all the things he plans to do to you in future. You wish you could see inside his mind for a moment, if only to see if his fantasies are as lewd as your own. Perhaps he really is curious about how you taste…

As much as you want to tell him that yes, you do love him, you decide to focus much more on the latter half of his statement. ‘Do you enjoy doing things to my body, Adrian?’ That flash of wickedness is back in his eyes, and you find yourself rubbing your legs together as he stares at you, as if trying to decide if he heard you correctly.

After a moment, Alucard nods. ‘Oh yes. Touching your body brings me just as much joy as kissing you. Sometimes even more.’ This is it. This is your moment. You just need to maintain this line of conversation.

Slipping your hand from his grasp, you instead place it on his thigh, stroking him gently. ‘Do have a favourite part of me to touch?’ You think you already know the answer to that, but you want to hear him say it. You need to hear how much he loves to touch your breasts.

Alucard thinks for a moment, before placing his hand over yours, and sliding it off his leg. ‘Your heart. The one that beats so full of love for me.’ He makes to stand then, and you almost wail in frustration. Can he really not see what you’re trying to do?!

Throwing caution to the wind, you make to stand with him, your leg knocking into the table as you go. The glass of water you’d neglected to finish alongside dinner is quick to fall, spilling its contents on both the tablecloth and your dress.

Alucard frowns. ‘Oh dear. Here, I’ll fetch you something to dry yourself off with.’ He goes off looking for something to clean you up, only for another idea to come to mind, one even more brazen than the first. Then again, given how far being subtle has gotten you, this might be just what you need.

Trying not to lose your nerve, you quickly begin undressing, allowing your dress to pool at your feet as you expose your underwear-clad form to the chilled air in the kitchen. Your nipples are quick to harden from cold, rubbing against the fabric almost painfully as you wait for Alucard to see you.

It takes Alucard a moment to notice, only turning around when he finds a cloth. ‘Here we a-’ He makes a strange noise when he sees you, something between a moan and a groan. ‘I can’t see you like this again. You need to cover up, for your own sake.’ You notice a bulge forming at the front of his trousers, and your suspicions are confirmed; he’s holding himself back. He doesn’t want to push forwards because he’s worried that it’ll be too much for you. Shit, but there’s a part of you that wants him even more because of that. How much has he been holding back, for both your sakes?

Chewing on your bottom lip, you stand tall, confident he likes what he sees. ‘Adrian, you don’t have to keep holding back. I feel ready for more. If you feel ready too, then I want more. I want us to do things that are more… Intimate. Unless you don’t want that. Just… just know that whatever you want from me, it’s yours.’ If he really wanted to take you right here and now, you’d be more than happy to let him. You know in your heart of hearts that this is what you want. 

Alucard is directly in front of you in an instant, his hands firmly grabbing your hips as he brings his lips against your ear. ‘It has been the sweetest form of torment I have ever known, wanting to touch you so much but being afraid of scaring you away. No more holding back, then. I’m done focusing so much on the past that I never get to move forwards. Still, out of respect for both your inexperience and my past experiences, I have no intention of taking your virginity for a while. Instead, there is something else I would ask of you tonight. Is that acceptable?’ You can feel his bulge rubbing against you, seeking out its target despite the fact he wants you to go slow. 

You lean up then, your mouth flirting with the shell of his ear this time. ‘Whatever it is, I want to try it at least. Do what you will.’ Given the way Alucard feels about you, you don’t think you’ll be left wanting.

The reaction Alucard gives to your statement is immediate, his hands sliding underneath your thighs as he lifts you up, your arms wrapping themselves around his neck as he kisses you frantically. His tongue begins to beg for entry into your mouth, and you oblige, your own tongue returning the gesture with ease. 

Your body begins to shake slightly as Alucard starts moving, kicking the kitchen door out of his way as he carries you up the stairs. Each little movement causes you to grind against him, making Alucard moan into the kiss as one of his hands slides up to caress your bare ass. You yelp when one of his long fingers accidentally slips between your cheeks, and you suspect Alucard would laugh at such a thing, if he wasn’t so completely preoccupied with how you feel against him.

All too soon, you feel your back hit something soft and solid; Alucard’s mattress.

Without missing a beat, Alucard is on top of you, both his hands now groping your ass as he brings your body up to grind against him. It’s too much, but it’s not enough, the fabric of his trousers an unwelcome barrier preventing you from feeling his bare flesh against yours.

Pulling back so you can breathe, Alucard stands, pushing up the hem of your underwear and exposing your bare flesh to his piercing gaze. ‘Beautiful, though I would expect nothing less from a goddess such as you. Tell me, have you ever explored yourself?’ Explored? Does he mean…?

With great embarrassment, you nod. ‘Yes. A few times, thinking about you.’ You have to admit though, this reality is far better than your fantasies…

Alucard smiles wickedly then, before shrugging off his shirt. ‘I’ll be asking you to detail those thoughts for me at a later date. For now, I want to watch you touch yourself.’ What?! He wants… but you couldn’t! Not with him staring at you!

Then again, you’re pretty guilty of staring yourself; he’s even more beautiful than you could ever have imagined. Even his scar, inflicted in an act of terrible cruelty, does nothing to take away from the man standing before you. With his flesh as pale as it is, he looks like one of those Greek statues you’ve seen drawings of in his books. As much as he wants you to touch yourself, you also want to touch him, to feel for yourself if those muscles are as firm as they look.

Distracted by his beauty, you find yourself nodding. ‘I can try. Will you… help me?’ It’s going to be difficult, focusing on making yourself orgasm with him watching.

Alucard leans down, placing a kiss on the inside of your thigh. ‘Of course. Settle back against the pillows and spread your knees. I want a good view.’ You do just that, crawling up the bed on limbs that are trembling in anticipation. Propping yourself up against the pillows, you expose yourself again, and place a hand on your stomach in preparation.

While you’re getting ready, Alucard removes his shoes before undoing his trousers, his erection still hidden by his underwear. ‘Watch me now. This is what you do to me every time I see or touch your body.’ He frees himself from his underwear then, and you have to keep from licking your lips; he’s done well to hide such a beast from you. You have to fight the part of your brain that wonders what it would be like to take him into your mouth as he wraps a hand around himself, stroking himself a few times as you watch in nervous anticipation.

With both of you now ready, Alucard starts watching you again, his attention focused solely on your exposed flesh. ‘Touch yourself, while I touch myself, and tell you a few fantasies of my own.’ Your hand moves of its own volition, moving up and down against yourself as you watch Alucard, desperate to hear what he has to say.

His eyes never leaving your now soaked core, Alucard strokes become slow yet firm, and he begins. ‘I lied before. As much as I love you and your heart, if I were to pick a body part based purely on raw appeal, it would be those perfect breasts of yours. I have lost countless nights fantasising about them. How they would feel, what it would be like to suck on one of your tender nipples until you begged me to turn my attention elsewhere. My favourite fantasy is the one where I stick my cock between them, allowing their softness to surround me as I empty myself onto your chest.’ His words make you moan as you imagine him doing just that, wondering how it would feel to have his erection nestled in between your breasts.

Adjusting yourself slightly, you allow one of your straps to fall down, exposing a bare breast to Alucard. ‘Touch it. However you want.’ Alucard is quick to take you up on that offer, crawling up the bed and wrapping his lips around your hardened nipple, bringing it into his mouth as a hand comes up to pinch at its twin through your underwear. You can feel his body tremble as he starts stroking himself faster, and you speed up too, not wanting to disappoint him.

After a few moments, Alucard releases your nipple with a groan that makes the growing sensation between your legs even stronger. ‘Fuck. You shouldn’t have let me do that. Now I’m going to crave them even more.’ His mouth resumes its task then, and your hips thrust up as you climax, rubbing yourself furiously as you enjoy the sensation.

When your body settles, Alucard pulls his mouth away from your breast again, frowning slightly. ‘Are you certain you’re satisfied? As I mentioned before, I am a patient man; I could watch you pleasure yourself all night before I allowed my own needs to become too much.’ Speaking of his needs, Alucard seems to have stopped stroking himself; time to fix that.

Leaning forwards, you begin to pepper kisses across Alucard’s chest, muttering softly. ‘Touch yourself, Adrian. I want to watch you touch yourself.’ Just hearing that is enough to make Alucard resume his strokes, faster and harder than before as you lean back, pushing your other strap down so that both your breasts are on show to him.

Wanting to offer Alucard the same encouragement he gave you, you squeeze your breasts together, watching him as he strokes himself. ‘Maybe one night, I could make your fantasy come true? I’d be happy to let you put your… your cock between my breasts.’ That small suggestion is enough to make Alucard groan, his thrusts becoming erratic as a white fluid you’ve never seen before spills out from the top of his erection, coating his hand and the bedding as his moans turn into gentle calls of your name.

Spent, Alucard flops back on the bed, and you follow him, laying beside him and putting a hand on his chest. ‘Was that okay?’ You hope so. You’ll be devastated if your first time together is a disappointment. 

Alucard tilts his head to kiss the top of yours. ‘That was unreal. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that. I look forward to sharing similar experiences with you in the future.’ Oh, but there will be a lot of them, now that you know what it’s like to have his mouth paying such close attention to your breasts.

Sighing, you kiss Alucard’s shoulder. ‘Me too. Besides, I meant what I said; I’m more than happy to make your fantasy a reality.’ You’d be willing to do it right now if you could, but you’re a little too tired for that.

Instead, you let your body relax, and fall into an easy sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Oh dear. Alucard was hoping she wouldn’t fall asleep just yet. She still has to get dressed for bed, and he’ll need to change the sheets after what just happened.

Still, why concern himself with that right now when he should be basking in post-coital bliss? That was the best orgasm he’s had in recent memory, and he should be allowed to enjoy the sweet afterglow of it, too. Even if they didn’t have sex in a traditional sense, Alucard definitely feels as if they did. 

However, there is one thing Alucard can’t help but feel guilty about; her orgasm didn’t seem nearly as enjoyable as his.

Maybe she’s holding herself back without realising it? After all, she’s never really had the chance to explore herself properly until now. Well, if that’s the case, he can fix that. An hour or so with his face between her legs should be the perfect cure for such hesitation. He’ll show her what an orgasm really feels like, both for future reference and his own satisfaction.

For now, if she’s going to sleep, he might just join her. After all, it would be such a pity to wake her.

Content in his decision, Alucard gently brings her body closer to his, and closes his eyes, settling his cheek across the top of her head.

This is definitely what paradise feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the request of Zalkyria, a song;
> 
> Conceal,   
> Don't feel,  
> Don't let her know...  
> Now she knowssssss!  
> LET ME BONE,  
> LET ME BONE,  
> I CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOREEEEE
> 
> Ehem, but for now, thank you for reading, and hope to see y'all again Friday ^.^


	35. That's What Makes You Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> So, he we have it. Chapter 35 and oh my goodness I don't think either of us ever thought we'd get this far O.O
> 
> In celebration of that, have some fluffs ;3

Waking up this morning brings with it a great sense of confusion.

For one thing, you seem to be lacking a blanket of any kind, although you do register the fact that you’re in Alucard’s room. You’re a lot colder as a result, but there is one part of you that is conspicuously warm…

Tilting your head down, you see a mass of blonde hair nestled between your breasts, Alucard’s soft lips pressing softly against the exposed flesh there. Is that what woke you? The feeling of him kissing your bare breasts, the straps of your underwear still far away from your shoulders? If that’s the case, then you’d like to wake up like this more often; Alucard’s kisses have always been such a weakness to you.

Registering your gaze, Alucard shifts his head, his chin settling on top of your breastbone. ‘Ah, she wakes. Good morning, my love. I apologise for allowing us to sleep in such a state, but I simply couldn’t stay awake with your soft body nestled so sweetly against mine. Did you sleep well?’ Truthfully, you think that he fell asleep from that seemingly very nice orgasm he had, but if he wants to blame his fatigue on you, so be it. It’s not like you weren’t lulled into a similar state by his gentle breathing and warm body.

Your head flops back, allowing you to stare up at the ceiling. ‘I slept wonderfully. Last night was s- Oh!’ You feel something warm and wet covering one of your exposed nipples, and know exactly what it is without having to look; Alucard is sucking on one of them again.

One of your hands grabs Alucard’s hair, tugging it slightly as you rub your legs together. ‘Adrian…’ Part of you wants to ask for something, but you’re not sure what. All you know is that you never want to go another day without having his mouth on your breasts, especially your nipples.

After a few moments, Alucard pulls his head back, swiping your hardened nipple with his tongue for good measure. ‘Sorry. I did warn you that I’d crave them greatly now. They’re just too hard for me to ignore when they’re laid out like this…’ Shifting his body, Alucard leans over you, taking your other nipple into his mouth before tugging it gently with his teeth.

You gasp then, and finally realise what you need; you need to touch yourself again. You need that extra stimulation before he drives you mad!

Carefully, you slide your free hand down your body and between your legs, unsurprised to discover that Alucard’s actions already have you wet. That only makes it easier for you to start rubbing yourself, biting your lip to keep from moaning his name as you focus on the feeling of his lips.

Noticing your actions, Alucard pulls his head away before grabbing your wrist, bringing up your arm and pinning it to the bed. ‘It seems I have awoken something in you. I like it.’ He leans down then, taking one of your fingers into his mouth before pulling away again. ‘However, we should not continue this now. The bed is sullied thanks to the pleasure I experienced last night, and you deserve to be worshiped in a clean bed.’ You’re about to point out that changing the bed only to dirty it again makes little sense, but then you catch the hidden meaning in Alucard’s statement; he very much intended to have you again once the bed is clean.

You smile then, pleased at your own astuteness. ‘You should let me get up then, before I awaken something in you, too.’ Then again, maybe you should awaken his beast again; it worked wonders for you last night.

Alucard chuckles. ‘Oh, but it is far too late for that. Having a half-naked beauty in bed with me is more than enough to gain my full attention. For now though, I really need to change these sheets. I should tell you however…’ He leans down a final time, his lips brushing against your ear. ‘… you taste amazing.’ He slides gracefully off of the bed then, using his grip on your wrist to coax you into a sitting position.

It’s all you can do to keep from blushing so hard you pass out, Alucard’s little tease proving to be too much. ‘I suppose I should complete our arrangement and be on my merry way, then?’ You might cover your breasts up for that though, still not quite ready to lie to so much bare skin.

Alucard thinks for a moment, taking in your appearance before smirking. ‘Why don’t you rummage around in your basket and find a new set of underwear to show me? I know you haven’t opened them all up yet, so now would be a good time to take a look. I’ll strip the bed while I wait for you.’ Oh, but that’s a good idea. You’re certain you can find something suitably scandalous to show Alucard, while keeping certain parts of you hidden.

Standing, you reach up and give Alucard a swift kiss before nodding. ‘I can do that. Just don’t blame me if you can’t keep your hands to yourself.’ His eyes widen at that, and your blush deepens; you shouldn’t have said something quite so brazen.

Recovering from his initial surprise, Alucard wraps his arms around your waist so he can give your ass a firm squeeze. ‘My weak self-control is entirely to blame. Then again, stronger men than I would find it hard to resist a beauty such as yours, especially if they knew they had your heart. I am not sure I truly deserve your heart or your body, but while you give them both to me freely, I do not wish to waste such gifts. Likewise, you don’t have to resist what I have to offer. We are in love, and half the fun of being in love is sharing all that you are with someone else.’ He kisses you then, far less urgently than he has been doing of late. You swear you can feel love pouring out from his very soul, and it makes you yearn for all the things you know you’ll never have with him.

Namely, it makes you yearn for being more than a mistress.

Still, mentioning those desires would only ruin the moment. You love Alucard, and he loves you. You don’t need him to marry you to prove that. You see love in everything he does, and everything he says.

Removing Alucard’s hands, you allow your lips to fall away from his before staring up at him. ‘I love you, Adrian, and I’m glad we’re finally doing this. It feels right, having a physical connection with you. Even if we aren’t going to go the whole way just yet, I still feel more connected with you than ever before.’ It’s like a strange weight has been lifted from your chest just admitting that, and you hope he feels it, too.

Alucard nods. ‘I love you too, and I agree. I did not realise how much I missed touch until last night. I look forward to more nights filled with such delights, but for now, I really need to change the bed. I shall see you again in a moment.’ Well, it could be a little while; you want to pick out something really special for him.

You nod once, then make your way to the door, covering your breasts as the cool air in the corridor washes over them. Whatever you pick, you hope it’s slightly warmer than this.

Then again, if you are in danger of freezing to death, you at least have Alucard to warm you right back up again.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Going back through all of your clothes from Sylvia, you’re surprised at how much you ordered; it’s been a good ten minutes now, and you’ve only just started opening the last package.

Really, going through and opening everything wasn’t necessary. You’ve already changed into something new; a soft covering for your breasts that has a thinner fabric sheet attached to it, with a split down the middle to reveal your stomach. While it does show more flesh that you’re comfortable with showing, it does cover your breasts fully, something you know will drive Alucard crazy. It’s paired up with a simple pair of panties that aren’t particularly fancy, but cover you up nicely. You just hope Alucard still likes what he sees when you show him…

As you remove the string holding the final package together, something occurs to you; this is one package too many. It feels too firm to be another collection of underwear, but you’ve also seen all ten dresses you’d ordered. Maybe you’re mistaken, and this is more underwear? You’d not exactly held back when it came to coming up with pieces to entice Alucard. This could just be made of a thicker and heavier fabric.

Tearing back the paper, it becomes apparent very quickly that Sylvia must have placed this in your basket by mistake; you didn’t order an eleventh dress, and even if you did, you wouldn’t have ordered something so fine.

The fabric looks golden, as if the dress was spun from Alucard’s hair. As you unfold it, it becomes immediately apparent that it’s an evening gown of some description, the detailing and material used too ornate to be anything else. A pang of sadness overwhelms you as you look at it, sad that it isn’t yours. You didn’t even look at evening gowns, nevermind ordering one. Some noble woman somewhere is probably devastated that this dress has disappeared, missing from her order. You should tell Alucard straight away so you can go into town and return the dress to Sylvia so she can give it to its rightful owner.

Travelling down the corridor with the wayward dress in arms, you’re tempted to ask Alucard if it would be alright to order a dress like this for yourself. Knowing him, you’ll only have to ask once; Alucard never denies you anything. He’d be all-too eager to spoil you in fact, just as he always is. Buying you gifts seems to be the best way he knows to show his love, but it’s not your favourite; you much prefer it when he showers you with kisses.

The bed is completely remade when you enter the room, Alucard sitting fully clothed on the side of the bed. ‘Did you find something suitable?’ That largely depends on his definition of the word, but you’re pretty confident he won’t be disappointed with your choice, once you’ve explained the situation you’re currently in.

Holding the golden dress out to Alucard, you frown. ‘I found this mixed in with what we ordered from Sylvia. I think she must have gotten the packages confused or something. We should go into town and return it to her.’ What if the dress’ rightful owner has made a complaint against Sylvia for losing the dress? You really should have checked through your order sooner.

Alucard’s eyes light up for a moment, before he frowns, though it doesn’t seem as deep as usual. ‘Are you sure it’s a mistake? The dress seems to fit your dimensions. Why don’t you try it on?’ What?! Why would you try on someone else’s dress?!

You shake your head. ‘Adrian, I can’t! The last thing the lady who ordered this will want is having some peasant girl trying on her new gown. She’d probably burn it if she knew…’ And that would be a criminal waste; the dress is too gorgeous to be destroyed.

Standing up, Alucard walks over to you, smiling gently. ‘She won’t find out. Besides, you are no longer a vagabond wandering the streets now. You are a lady of wealth yourself, and perfectly clean. Humour me, and try it on. Please?’ He gives you a wide-eyed pleading look that makes you weak at the knees, and you know he’s already won.

You sigh in defeat. ‘Alright. Just for you, and just for a moment. I need to do my thing first, though.’ Unless you can convince him to let it slide this morning, in exchange for wearing the dress?

Taking the dress from you and laying it out on the bed, Alucard leads you over to the mirror, placing his hands on your hips. ‘While having your breasts hidden from view is a terrible tragedy, I like this. These little curtains are of particular interest to me.’ He slides his hands over and grabs the fabric on both sides, spreading the gap wide open and exposing your stomach. ‘Just look at yourself. There isn’t a single inch of you that isn’t perfect.’ How can he stand there and say that, when a series of obvious imperfections are on show…

Grabbing his hands, you force him to close the fabric, sighing. ‘I’m not perfect, Adrian. My scars are proof enough of that.’ You stare at your eyes in the mirror as usual, trying to make your voice sound convincing. ‘I am beautiful.’ It’s a massive contradiction, given what you said just before, but you’re hoping that won’t matter; you’ve done as instructed.

Alucard frowns deeply. ‘We never would have fallen in love were it not for your scars. You would have walked out of my life completely that day by the stream, and I would still be twisted beyond recognition thanks to my betrayal. You have saved me just as surely as I saved you, and your scars are proof of both in a way. Do not feel ashamed of them, and do not try to hide them from me. I love every part of you. Never forget that.’ He kisses the top of your head then, and it makes you want to melt. If you’d known that this is what life with Alucard was going to be like, you never would have agreed to stay away in the first place. Then again, considering he did threaten to kill you, it was a wise decision at the time…

You watch your reflection as a few tears start to fall. ‘Thank you, Adrian. I’m glad you chose to save me like you did. I meant I got the chance to love you, too.’ A love that is never going to leave you, for as long as your heart continues to beat.

Alucard hums. ‘As am I. Now then, time to try on this gown, I think. I do expect you to call yourself beautiful when you’re wearing it by the way, to make up for your lack of conviction a moment ago.’ So he did notice? Of course he did. Alucard never misses anything.

When you nod in agreement, Alucard leaves you to fetch the dress, before returning to his position. ‘Ready, my love?’ You answer with a second nod, and Alucard slides the dress over your head, allowing you to place your arms in the sleeves before he makes a start on the laces at the back of the dress.

As soon as you feel the tug of the laces as the gown begins to grow tighter, you realise something; this dress fits you just as well as the others do. It also has the suspiciously low neckline, although that could simply be Sylvia’s trademark for all you know. The dress even seems to hug your hips in just the right way. You don’t know the woman that this gown was intended for, but she must be very similar to you in terms of build. Is that why Sylvia confused the order? She doesn’t seem like a woman that would make a mistake like this, but she is human. It’s probably quite an easy mistake to make when you work with two women of a similar build.

Finishing with the laces, Alucard places his hands on your hips again, smiling triumphantly. ‘So, what does the lady think?’ In truth, you’re trying not to think; if you did, you might cry. It’s such a beautiful gown, too fine for someone like you. You only hope he wasn’t serious about you repeating his task, because if you have to call yourself beautiful whilst wearing this, you might actually be close to meaning it. The woman who gets to wear this regularly is the luckiest woman alive. Well, the second luckiest at least; Alucard’s love makes you luckier than a dress ever could.

Remembering that Alucard expects an answer, you smile weakly. ‘It’s nice. I think the person who ordered it will be very satisfied.’ That’s why you should take it off right now; the sooner it goes to its rightful owner, the better.

Alucard hums. ‘Oh, he is. Sylvia did a much better job than I paid her for. I’ll have to make it up to her the next time we’re in town. It’s important to pay talented people properly, after all.’ Wait… What? What is he talking about?

When you ask him, Alucard’s smile turns wicked. ‘You didn’t really think I’d let you get away without owning an evening gown, did you? I left the specifications with Sylvia under the pretense of giving her a name. I hope you like it.’ He… this is…

You start crying again, harder than before. ‘This is mine?’ It can’t be. There’s no way anything like this could ever really be yours. It’s too much. It’s too good for you.

Alucard’s brow furrows, his smile faltering. ‘Do you not like it? We could ask Sylvia to make you a different one. Perhaps two, as an apology for making you cry.’ He thinks you’re upset with him? Can he not see what a wonderful gift this is?

Turning around, you practically throw yourself at Alucard, his arms cradling you against him as you explain your tears. ‘I love it. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and I swear to you that I’ll cherish it forever. I can’t believe you did this for me.’ His kindness really does know no limit, especially when it comes to you.

Stroking your back, Alucard chuckles. ‘I take it we don’t have to argue about you accepting a gift this time, then?’ Oh. He’s right. This is the first time you’ve openly accepted anything from him without putting up a fight about it. How strange…

Pulling away, you stroke your hands over the dress, smiling through your tears. ‘Well, it was made just for me. It would be a shame to never wear it.’ Even if this dress will only be coming out on the most special of occasions.

Alucard smiles back. ‘Most definitely. A beautiful dress deserves to cling to the body of a beautiful woman. Yet I can’t help but think something is missing…’ He thinks for a moment, before realisation shines in his mind. ‘I know! Turn and face the mirror again, please.’ You do as instructed, admiring yourself in the mirror. Right now, you almost do look like a princess. The fact that the dress matches your prince so perfectly is a bonus that you’re going to cherish. Did Alucard deliberately choose fabric in this shade, or was that Sylvia’s doing?

When Alucard returns, he assumes his usual mirror position, looking pleased with himself. ‘Close your eyes, princess.’ You follow his instructions without a thought, nervously anticipating his next move.

As you feel something heavy settle against your sternum, you think you know what it is.

Sure enough, when Alucard instructs you to open your eyes, you see the necklace he gave you sitting comfortably above your breasts, glimmering in the light. It’s the first time you’ve worn it, and you’re beginning to wonder why; it really is a pity not to. Even if you don’t feel pretty enough for it, it deserves to be shown off, especially in this dress. With a gemstone the colour of Alucard’s eyes, and a dress like his hair, it’s like your whole body is surrounded by him, even if he isn’t touching you at all.

Alucard kisses your neck, just above where the necklace chain is resting. ‘Perfection, although I may have to rethink my nickname for you. You look more like a queen when you’re dressed like this.’ Oh, but you’d be happy beyond compare if you were his queen. The two of you could rule over your little slice of paradise together, content and in love…

Even though he’s yet to prompt you, you feel the overwhelming need to complete his task. ‘I am beautiful. I am beautiful, especially when I’m with you.’ Maybe it’s not your body that makes you beautiful. Alucard finds it beautiful even with the scars, so it can’t be. Maybe your true beauty lies in the smiles you always give whenever you’re near him, and in the pure and total love you feel just thinking about him. Maybe that’s what true beauty is.

If that’s the case, you think you’re going to be beautiful forever.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard really needs to work on expanding his vocabulary. There’s only so many times he can call the woman before him a goddess without the word becoming too stale and weak to do her justice.

In some ways, he dislikes how much he loves her. This much vulnerability is still something he’s not entirely comfortable with, as much as he trusts her not to exploit it. If she breaks his heart, it will only be because he broke hers first, as he is in danger of doing all-too soon.

While her tears of joy seem to have dried, they’re still fresh in Alucard’s mind. If a gown like this is enough to move her to tears, he can’t help but wonder what looking at wedding gowns will do to her, if they make it that far. Would she choose a white dress, or something less traditional? White is supposed to represent purity and virginity, and while she’ll always remain a pure soul in his eyes, she will probably have very little of the latter left by the time they are properly wed. He has had a small taste of his new and private heaven, and now he wants it all the more. He could happily spend the rest of his days doing nothing but kissing her body, and die a happy and fulfilled man. Well, if he gets to marry her first, that is.

She smiles at his reflection, and Alucard curses himself for getting ahead of things again. Oh, but how his mother would laugh if she could see how hopelessly in love her son is. She’d accuse him of being so very much like his father, taking a human under his wing only to fall so desperately in love. At least he will not allow his love to succumb to a similar fate. There will never be a day he is not around to protect her. He will learn from his father’s mistake, keep her safe at all costs.

Given how clumsy she can be, that’s probably easier said than done.

For now, Alucard intends to live in the moment a little longer. She deserves a taste of heaven herself, before he confesses everything to her. He is too selfish to pass up the chance to give it to her, in any case. Tonight, he is going to feast like a king, and she is going to know what true pleasure feels like.

He can’t wait to see the face that had haunted him for so long once again made flesh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think you all know what's coming next chapter ;3
> 
> For now, thank you again for reading, and have a happy weekend ^.^ We aim to be back on Monday to deliver some filth ;3


	36. A Taste Of Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Well, all we're gonna say is enjoy ;3

As much as you’d told yourself that you’d be saving your new dress for special occasions only, Alucard had insisted you keep it on for today, promising to make today a special occasion in return. While it is true that every day with him is special in one way or another, he hasn’t done much that he wouldn’t normally do. You’ve been curled up reading with him for most of the day, only really stopping to eat and use the loo. It’s been lovely, sure, but not all that special. Maybe you’re being horribly ungrateful or immature, but you were hoping for something more out of the ordinary.

Now, as you finish the dinner Alucard so lovingly prepared for you both, you realise that Alucard might have said that just to keep you from taking the dress off before never letting it see the light of day again.

There is little more you can both do today. Well, little more that involves keeping your dress on, at least. If he’s agreeable, you’d very much like a repeat of last night. It had been a wonderful thing, watching Alucard come undone before your very eyes. He has shown you the ultimate vulnerability, and it is a gift you never wish you return.

As you watch Alucard clear away the plates, you think back on your own promise. He said that he fantasises about making love to your breasts, and you told him that you would let him. Would he like that tonight, or is it too soon for him? Just because he’s given you an inch of sexual exploration with you, that doesn’t mean you can just do everything right away. He also wants to hear about your own fantasies at some point, something you’re reluctant to tell him about. Will he think you are disgusting if you tell him you dream about having his face between your legs? You would be more than willing to repay him in kind if he did choose to indulge you. Just the thought of taking him into your mouth is almost enough to make it water. Maybe you should offer that as an extra? You’ll pleasure him with your breasts before finishing the task with your mouth. How would he taste? Knowing him, he’d probably be quite sweet…

Your lewd fantasies are interrupted by Alucard, who offers you his hand, ready to leave the kitchen. ‘Did my lady enjoy her dinner?’ He’s been calling you that all day, and it never fails to make you blush. You are his lady. His, and no one else's. As if the love in your heart and the necklace around your neck that is so clearly reminiscent of his eyes isn’t proof enough.

You take his hand, allowing him to lead you out of the kitchen. ‘It was wonderful, thank you. Are we retiring to bed now?’ Or does he intend to read with you some more? You wouldn’t mind that much, as long as he doesn’t tire himself too much.

Alucard smiles. ‘Before I have made your day truly special? Perish the thought. Oh no, It would be simply criminal to waste this opportunity to dance with you again.’ Dancing?! You take it back. That really is a special occasion!

You can barely contain your excitement. ‘I would love that. I suppose I am dressed for the occasion, too.’ For once, you actually feel like the lady Alucard keeps telling you that you are, and a lady should know how to dance…

Alucard chuckles. ‘That you are. Then again, I would wish to dance with you even if you were not. I might even go so far as to say I would dance with you even if you weren’t dressed at all.’ Now there’s an image. You and Alucard, dancing naked in the moonlight, swaying together gently before starting a different kind of dance. That’s a thought you can save for another time, when you and Alucard are more confident with each other.

For now, you just smile, and allow him to lead you to his secret dance hall, thinking back to the first time you saw it. It feels like a lifetime ago, and in many ways it was. You have changed a lot since you became Alucard’s mistress, largely for the better. While you were blooming under his care anyway, the confidence that has come from having a man like Alucard as your lover is something that has caused you to flourish in a different way. You have a lot to thank him for, but never to repay. He’s done it all out of love, so all you can do is accept it with a smile.

When you arrive, Alucard opens the door for you, allowing you to once again take in the sights of the room as he starts the music. It looks cleaner than it did the last time you were here, and you can’t help but wonder if Alucard has been in here to clean since then. He must have been planning to give you more dance lessons for a while. Maybe that’s the real reason behind the dress? If that’s the case, you have one more reason to love it now; it means you have a reason to dance with Alucard more often.

The music springs to life, and Alucard takes his place in front of you, positioning you both as he did before, only for him to frown and pull away. ‘I’m sorry. That was terribly forward of me. A gentleman should always ask a lady to dance, rather than make such a bold assumption. May I have this dance?’ He extends his hand out to you in offering, and you take it without hesitation, once again taking up your position.

You can’t help but smile at Alucard’s gesture. ‘I already said I wanted to dance. Besides, I like it when you’re bold.’ You both begin to dance then, moving your body in time with the music. You allow Alucard to lead you across the dancefloor as you try to remember the steps, and hope that you don’t step on his toes quite so frequently as you did the last time.

After a few moments of establishing a rhythm, Alucard leans his head forward, brushing his lips to your ear. ‘In that case, you’ll love it when I tell you that I can’t stop picturing what you’re wearing underneath your dress.’ The tip of his tongue caresses the shell of your ear, sending shivers down your spine. So, he intends to tease, does he? Two can play at that game.

You hum. ‘I do. I think I’d prefer it still if you told me what I’m doing when you imagine me in such a state.’ Alucard’s movements falter for a second, and you have to hide the satisfied smile that threatens to creep onto your face.

It only takes a moment for Alucard to recover, and when he does, his voice is but a whisper, barely audible above the music. ‘A great many things, but most of my thoughts involve all the things I’m going to do to you. So many things, enough to scandalise you for the rest of your natural life. You really have woken something powerful within me, and now I am concerned I’ll never turn back.’ At least you know that he wants you, which is the biggest shock of all. Then again, given his reaction to having just the slightest bit of you on display for him, maybe it isn’t that surprising.

The music seems to be more of an inconvenience now, your desire to dance completely eclipsed by him. It’s a shame you didn’t just insist upon going to bed. If you had, he could have you in any number of positions right now, and you’d be loving every second of it.

You decide to take a leaf out of his book, leaning up and tugging on his earlobe with your teeth before whispering back. ‘Then don’t turn back, and tell me all the things you plan to do to me. I won’t be scandalised. I’d let you do anything to me.’ You're certain that even with those lewd books you’ve read in the past, Alucard could come up with far more creative things to do in bed than you can, but whatever he wants, you’re willing to try it. After all, you don’t think he’d help himself to pleasure without dishing you out a generous heap of your own.

Alucard swallows thickly, the sound stoking the arousal currently threatening to ruin your underwear. ‘You play with fire, but I shall not burn you. As much as I like to picture how you’ll look after I have finished making love to you for the very first time, I can wait. For now, I must confess that I have been too hasty this evening. I took you dancing before I got the chance to enjoy dessert. Would you allow me to enjoy dessert now instead, or shall we both continue to dance even though we both know our hearts and minds are both now interested in something else?’ So he wishes to dispel the air of sexual tension between you by eating something sweet? You would rather he didn’t, but if he’s not interested…

You pull away, fighting the urge to pout. ‘Very well. Back to the kitchen, then.’ Maybe you’ll have some dessert too, if only to take away the bitter taste of disappointment.

For a moment, Alucard furrows his brow, before realisation causes him to smirk. ‘I think you misunderstand me. You are my dessert, my sweet love, and I intend to eat you in bed.’ Oh. He wants a taste of your blood, then? That’s fine by you. He’ll surely make it up to you after you’re done.

Just the thought of him lapping up your blood causes you to lick your lips. ‘You better take me to bed then. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your dessert.’ Or the very special treat you’re thinking of giving him, should he desire it.

The music stops as if on command, and Alucard grins wickedly. ‘Oh, I shan’t.’ With that, he scoops you up into his arms, and starts rushing towards your room, eager to taste your blood it seems. His enthusiasm is equal parts endearing and alluring, and you look forward to seeing what he’ll do to you after he’s had his fill of dessert.

When you reach the bedroom, Alucard places you on your feet so he can make a start on your dress, meticulously working it away from your body until it crumples into a pile at your feet. You step out of it, only for Alucard to pick you up once again, carrying you over to the bed before laying you out with your head against the pillows.

His eyes roaming over your body, Alucard begins to undress himself, shrugging off his shirt before making a start on his lower body. ‘I must say, you might be the most delicious-looking dessert I’ve ever seen. It makes me wish I’d skipped dinner entirely. At least I still have plenty of room to indulge myself.’ Oh, but he can drink his fill of you all he wants. He could drain you dry and you’d thank him for it. As long as he is kind enough to let you stick your hand between your legs again, like you’d been so desperate to do this morning when he teased your breasts.

You watch as Alucard pushes his trousers and underwear to the floor, his erection springing forth as he does. It makes your mouth water, seeing him naked like this. You notice the small amount of fluid beading on the tip of his cock, and it’s all you can do to keep from bending forwards and licking it off.

Your opportunity to do so is lost when Alucard crawls onto the bed, placing his knees on either side of your hips and supporting his weight on his hands. ‘So then, while I’m getting dessert ready, why don’t you tell me all about your filthy dreams?’ Really? He wants to hear them now? But he’ll be so disgusted…

Hoping to distract him, you shift your body, working on removing the top half of your underwear so that your breasts are bare. ‘Instead of that, why don’t I let you play with these? I know how much you love them.’ Surely the temptation of your breasts is enough to make him forget about his request?

Alucard leans down, sucking hard on one of your nipples before releasing it. ‘Oh, but I am too greedy to choose just one of those things. That’s why I’m going to suck on your nipples until you come clean. I want to hear every detail, or I’ll only tease you more.’ His mouth immediately targets your other nipple, and one of your hands grabs his hair, unsure if you want to bring him closer or push him away.

As he continues his assault on your nipple, you cry out. ‘Adrian, please. It’s embarrassing!’ He’ll hate it, hate it…

The only answer you get is Alucard tweaking your nipple with his teeth, before once again swapping sides.

Desperate, you try to sneak a hand between your legs, only for Alucard to grab both your wrists and pin them above your head, granting your nipples a small break so he can speak. ‘Shy girls don’t get to touch themselves in front of their lovers. Tell me what I want to hear, and maybe I’ll touch you instead. The choice is yours.’ Unless he doesn’t want to…

When he begins his assault on your nipples again, it’s too much to resist, and you’re glad that your necklace isn’t made of silver when your desperate writhing causes it to brush against Alucard’s face. ‘Alright! I… I dreamt that you… you… you put your face between my legs!’

Alucard moans into your breasts, before pulling away again. ‘Oh? And while I had my face down there, what did I do? Did I lick you, or did I fuck you with my tongue?’ Shit, but hearing him say that shouldn’t make you want him more, but it does.

When you don’t answer straight away, Alucard resumes his sweet torture of your nipples, forcing a responce from you. ‘Both. It started with… with… Adrian, please. I can’t. I need you.’ You don’t care what he does, but you need him to do something. Is he ready to drink your blood yet?

Releasing your nipple again, Alucard grins at you wickedly. ‘Good girl. Thank you for telling me, although I wish you were more liberable with the details. However, I’m out of patience, and my dessert is ready. We’ll continue this later, but for now, I’m too hungry to resist you any longer.’ Releasing your hands, Alucard trails kisses down between your breasts, making it all the way down to your navel before pausing. ‘You have such a beautiful body. Having you warm and writhing beneath me is a gift, and I never intend to share it. Oh, the things I’m going to do to you, the places we’re going to make love…’ His mouth travels back up then, kissing along your scars one by one as he moves his body, his hands spreading your legs so he can kneel between them instead.

With your scars thoroughly kissed, Alucard grabs the sides of your underwear, hooking his thumbs underneath them before starting to pull on them. ‘In case you’re still uncertain, this is my dessert. Tonight, I dine on the sweetest ambrosia. I’m going to stick my face between your legs and lap up every last drop you have to offer. Would you allow that? Allow me to spread your legs and let me taste you until I’m satisfied?’ It’s too much. Far too much. He’s not even touched you between your legs, and you already feel like you’re going to go mad with pleasure.

Lifting your hips, you silently encourage him to take them off, frustrated when you realise he’s waiting for verbal confirmation. ‘Do it. Spread my legs open and take what you want. It’s all yours.’ Your words catch Alucard off guard, and he tears your underwear apart at the seams before he shoves his head between your legs and sticks his tongue inside you.

The scream of pleasure you let out is loud enough to vibrate throughout the room, which seems to spur Alucard on, his tongue working its way in and out of your body at a rapid pace. One of his hands moves up to toy with your clit, stroking it in painfully slow contrast with his rapid tongue motions. You work both of your hands into his hair, clinging on for dear life as he continues to eat you out without mercy.

A thin sheen of sweat coats your body, your legs trembling as you surrender yourself to Alucard, waiting for the orgasm that you can feel growing inside you at an alarming rate. It feels amazing, the way he’s tormenting your body with endless pleasure. If you’d had any idea what his tongue could do to you, you would have begged him for this the moment he asked about your fantasies.

Your peak hits with all the intensity that it usually does, your toes circling as Alucard continues his ministrations, almost as if he hasn’t realised you’ve finished yet. You’re about to pull him away, to tell him to stop, when you realise the pleasure isn’t fading away; it’s only getting stronger.

You can only moan as Alucard keeps up his relentless pace, closing your eyes and moaning as the pleasure keeps coming in waves. What is he doing to you? How is he managing this? If he keeps this up, you think you’ll die, or melt away into nothing. The pleasure keeps getting better and better and…

Alucard’s tongue hits you in just the right way, and you scream his name as the ball of pleasure building up inside you explodes furiously. Any previous attempts at bringing yourself to orgasm must have been unsuccessful, because you’ve never felt anything like this before. All you can do is moan his name over and over again as you force his face against your thrusting hips.

When it finally ends, your breathing is heavy, and your whole body feels lighter than air. Fuck, if that’s what an orgasm is supposed to feel like, then you’re going to open your legs and let Alucard give you one any time he wants.

You let go of Alucard’s hair, expecting him to pull away; he doesn’t. His hand is still firmly stroking your clit, and his tongue is continuing its movements without pause. You really should tell him to stop. It’s over now, you’ve had your orgasm and are completely sat…

Moaning loudly, you realise that all the pleasure you just experienced seems to be returning, faster than before. Alucard’s movements become almost painful as your body begins to sweat profusely, legs aching from the effort of remaining spread. Still, the tongue inside you refuses to stop, and you can only cry out as a second orgasm begins to form, threatening to be even more powerful than the first.

It’s too much. Far too much, but not enough. You want it so bad you could beg Alucard to send you over the edge again…

Summoning little more than a whine, you try. ‘Adrian… please… close…’ Alucard moans into you, and the vibrations drive you wild, almost sending you over the edge again without trying.

Noticing this, Alucard moans again, timing it with a harsh swipe against your clit. Your hands almost tear the bedsheets in half as a second orgasm tears through you, your voice becoming strained as you cry out, overwhelmed by sensation.

As you come down, you notice that Alucard still isn’t stopping, but you can’t take anymore; two intense orgasms this close together is already more than you thought you’d be able to handle.

Placing one hand back in his hair, you gently yank Alucard off, and he looks up at you with questioning eyes. ‘You don’t want to go a third time?’ Shit, but this man really will kill you, and it won’t be the way you expect to die.

You shake your head, panting. ‘Can’t… too much. Thank you.’ You fail to see how that was a treat for him; you’re the one that could cry thanks to that insane pleasure. If this is what dessert means to him, he’s welcome to have it after every meal.

Alucard smiles then, crawling back up over your body and once again settling his knees next to your hips. ‘It was entirely my pleasure. I could have stayed there all evening, had you allowed me to. Would you mind if I finished myself off now? I’m feeling rather desperate.’ After what he just did, that shouldn’t even be a question; he deserves a powerful orgasm after what he just did.

Thinking back to your promise, you quickly take off your necklace, place it carefully on the floor, and bring your hands to your breasts, pressing them together in invitation. ‘Would you like to use my breasts?’ Alucard’s eyes grow wide as his cock twitches, desperate for release.

Without hesitation, Alucard moves his way up your body, his knees now resting close to your arms as he presses his erection across your breasts. ‘Yes. That would be extraordinary.’ You relax your grip on your breasts so he can slide his cock between them, before moving them closer together again to wrap them around him.

Alucard moans loudly, thrusting his hips as his hands grip the headboard. His eyes become transfixed on your chest, watching as his cock slides in and out of your breasts with wild abandon. There’s still fluid at the very tip, and with him now so close to your mouth, the temptation to reach forward and lick him is almost too much…

Looking up at him, you decide to at least ask permission first. ‘Can I lick you, too?’ Alucard groans in what could easily be agony, which is all the warning you get before you’re coated in warm fluids, his climax painting your neck and chest white with his release.

Panting heavily, Alucard thrusts a few more times before shifting so he can collapse next to you on the bed, his softening cock still twitching slightly.

When Alucard finally speaks, his breathing seems to have evened out again. ‘Magnificent. I shall have to spend more evenings between your legs in the future. If that offer of using your mouth to pleasure me in a similar fashion is genuine, I’d like to explore that with you, too.’ Oh, but it is…

You grin at Alucard, still dazed from your orgasms. ‘I really want to feel you in my mouth, Adrian. My offer is completely genuine, and I expect you to take me up on it.’ If he’s willing, which he clearly is.

Alucard chuckles. ‘Whatever my queen desires. For now, allow me to fetch something to clean you with so you can dress for bed. As much as I love seeing your bare body in our shared bed, the nights are too cold for that.’ So he keeps telling you. It’s a dreadful shame, really…

As Alucard stands, you pout. ‘We could always cuddle naked? That way you could keep me warm.’ It would feel nice too, having his bare body against yours.

Pausing just before he leaves, Alucard stands there, thinking about your offer as you stare at his naked frame. ‘That would be unwise. There is a limit to my self-control, and sleeping naked with you would push it too far. While I would not force you into anything, something tells me I wouldn’t have to, and I would rather take your virginity when we both have all the time in the world to take it slowly. After that, perhaps I will indulge and sleep naked with you. For now, clothing is the wisest option.’ He’s probably right. That’s just one more thing to look forward to the future, then.

You smile softly at him. ‘I understand. For what it’s worth though, I’ve already decided that I want you as my first. All you have to do is take me.’ You think you’re ready now. You know that Alucard will do everything he can to make it memorable, and you know too that you’re only ever going to be with him.

Alucard smiles back, but he doesn’t answer; he just leaves the room.

You sigh, content with what just happened. While you think you might be sore for a few hours after this, one thing is certain;

You really want to do this again.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It is time. Alucard knows that now. If anything, he should have done this sooner, before he entered into a relationship with her. She has a right to know the truth, and he needs to be the one to tell her before she discovers it for herself.

Stupid, selfish liar. That’s what Alucard thinks he is. Taking so much from her, when she doesn’t know what she’s agreeing to… well, no more.

Tomorrow. That’s when he comes clean. He’s going to tell her everything, and let her decide for herself if she is still in love with him when she knows all the facts. He doesn’t expect her to be, but he’ll respect her decision either way. As much as he wants to beg her to stay, he won’t keep her trapped here with a man she does not want. He’ll help her start a new life away from him, if that’s what she wants. Or, should she choose to stay but decide that she no longer wants him as her lover, he’ll accept that too. Better to know that she is safe, even if she does not love him.

It’s settled, then. Tonight, he shall enjoy his final guaranteed moments with her in his arms. Tomorrow, he will throw himself at her mercy, and face the outcome like a man.

If she is still by his side by the end tomorrow, he’ll finally find out her ring size.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It goes without saying that there's gonna be angst in the next chapter, but after that... c:
> 
> For now, thank you for reading, and we hope to return on Wednesday ^.^


	37. No More Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Warning; sads ;w; That is all.

Alucard has been acting strange all morning, and it’s starting to frighten you.

When you’d woken up this morning, he’d been cradling you in his arms, looking at you as if you were about to suddenly disappear. Yet the moment you’d left bed, he’s all but refused to touch you. No good morning kisses, no incentive to call yourself beautiful, and no thank you kiss for making breakfast today. Right now, Alucard is starting to seem more and more like his old self, and that is the scariest thing of all. Is it something you’ve done? Has the lovemaking been too much? Whatever it is that’s bothering him so terribly, you wish he’d just tell you. Better to know whatever truth he plans to offer than to keep waiting for judgement all day. 

As you clear away the breakfast bowls, Alucard stares at the old Trevor and Sypha dolls, still living in his kitchen while the new ones you made have pride of place in his bedroom. Is that why he’s so different today? Is he missing them? It has been a long while since they were last here. If only you knew where they were, you’d write to them and request their return. If that’s what it’ll take to make Alucard smile again, you might even offer to travel Wallachia in search of them. 

Once you’re finished, you place a hand on Alucard shoulder, frowning as he flinches. ‘Adrian? I know there’s something bothering you. Are you missing Trevor and Sypha?’ You’re quite certain you know the answer to that, but it’s best to check rather than assume.

Alucard sighs heavily, tearing his gaze away from the dolls to focus on you. ‘Terribly, but I always do. No, I’m afraid there’s something else. Something I should have told you a while ago.’ Oh, no. What is it? It must be something truly dreadful if it’s taken him this long to come clean.

Bracing yourself for a devastating blow, you squeeze his shoulder gently. ‘Alright. Tell me.’ You can cope. Whatever this secret is, you won’t let it ruin what the two of you have with each other.

Alucard shakes his head. ‘Not here. Come, I need to show you something.’ A confession that requires a visual aid? Now you’re really worried. 

As Alucard leads you from the kitchen and to a part of the castle you don’t recognise, your mind races, countless scenarios buzzing through your mind. What kind of confession will this be? Something he’s done? What could he have possibly done that would cause him to fear your reaction? That must surely be the reason he’s been so distant; he’s bracing himself for the worst possible outcome. Does he have a secret dungeon full of humans to feed on? An entire harem? That last one seems beyond unlikely, giving what you know about him, and you don’t think he’d farm humans when he can survive happily without blood. Besides, he has you to satisfy his sanguine urges, as rare as it is for him to do such a thing. 

Your pondering is cut short when Alucard pauses in front of a door, and turns to address you. ‘When we leave this room, we may no longer be lovers. If that is the case, know that I respect your decision, and that you are welcome to stay here regardless. If you wish to leave, I shall arrange suitable accommodation for you elsewhere. Consider it a parting gift.’ Parting? His cryptic hints are scarier than his distant silence. What the hell is he hiding in this room?!

You stare at him, making no effort to hide your feelings. ‘Adrian, you’re scaring me. Whatever it is, it can’t be bad enough to make me leave. I love you too much to do that. I promise, I’m going nowhere.’ This is your home now, and your life is better for it. You’re willing to stand by Alucard through anything, no matter how shocking.

Alucard frowns. ‘Please don’t make promises you might not be able to keep. It will only cause us both more pain.’ With that, he opens the door, and allows you to step inside first.

Taking a careful look around the room, you find yourself… confused. It looks like a child’s bedroom, and you’re quite certain it is. Toys spill out from a nearby basket, and the desk in the corner has a drawing on it that looks like something a child might make. This must be Alucard’s childhood bedroom, unless there was another child that lived here at one point. Is that his secret? Does he have a sibling he’s not told you about?

You look back at Alucard, and he gives you the answer to your unspoken question. ‘This is my room. Was my room, at least. My parents transformed this room into the kind of space any young boy would be happy to call his own. I spent many happy hours in here, playing with my toys and reading my books. Mother used to play with me sometimes too, and if I was really lucky, my father would join us. I have many happy memories here, but now, they are all ruined by what I did.’ How can so many memories be lost so quickly? It sounds as if this room was once a place of such joy, so it must have taken something truly horrifying to nullify all of those memories.

That’s when you see it. The rug, half-charred and stained by blood. 

What exactly happened to cause the rug to burn like that? Did he set fire to it? If so, why does that matter? Accidents happen all the time, and not even men as usually flawless as Alucard are immune to them. But then, why would an accident cause him to panic over your leaving? No, whatever happened here was deliberate for sure, but you’re at a loss as to what it might be. Did he burn a family pet alive? That’s a lot worse for sure, and something that would take a lot of justification. But then, murdering animals for fun isn’t something Alucard has ever expressed an interest in. The closer you seem to get to answers, the more confused you get!

Noticing your eyes glued to the rug, Alucard finally starts to come clean. ‘Do you remember that I spent a year resting after my father wounded me?’ You do. Sleeping for a year is one of the first things he mentioned to you.

Focusing your full attention on him, you nod. ‘Yes, I do. You opposed his plans, and he almost killed you for it.’ Just the thought of that almost makes you weep. How anyone could hurt Alucard, his own father in particular, is beyond your comprehension.

Alucard laughs bitterly. ‘Yes, although you could say that he did kill me. I haven’t been the same since that terrible day. I loved my father so much. He and mother were my whole world. 

‘I had a very sheltered childhood, thanks to my father’s wariness of humans. I rarely met anyone outside the castle. Even my mother, with all her love for humanity, was worried for me. I grew up at a fast rate, and had anyone seen me outside regularly, they would have noticed. She was concerned that it would attract attention, and that if a mob decided to form out of an ignorant desire to kill her child, my father would paint the walls of this castle with their blood. It was for my safety, and I was fine with that. I had them, after all. They both loved me so much, I didn’t think I’d ever need anyone else.

‘The day the inquisition killed my mother, they also killed my father. He was not the man I once loved so much. The man who raised me would have never laid a hand on me. That was all it took for me to realise that my father was dead, and to find a way to destroy the demon that had taken his place.’ Destroy? As in kill?

Oh. It makes sense now. You’ve known for a while that Dracula was dead, but you never thought…

Seeking confirmation, you tell Alucard your conclusion. ‘You killed him, didn’t you?’ You’ve never seen a vampire die, but you know that silver can make them burn. Is that what ruined the carpet? Or do vampires burst into flames when they die?

Alucard swallows hard. ‘I had no choice. In his quest for vengeance, Dracula would have killed every human on Earth, starting with Wallachia. The skies would have darkened, and the blood of countless innocent souls would have been spilled. My mother would have wept if she could see what her death had done to him. For her sake, I had to put an end to it. With the help of Trevor and Sypha, I found this castle, and the three of us ended his reign of terror in its infancy. 

‘He and I got separated from my friends. He was determined to kill me, and I think we would have done, had we not found ourselves in here. Seeing this room reminded him that I was his child. He said I was the greatest gift my mother ever gave him. For those precious few moments, he was his old self again. He was the father that I loved, returned to me. 

‘But it was too late. Even he knew that he wasn’t the man he once was. He didn’t stop me when I drove part of my bedpost through his heart. I think part of him was glad that I did. I was the last thing he ever saw. His son, the one that reminded him so much of his lost love.’ Tears are welling up in Alucard’s eyes as he relieves the events of that day, his heartbreak still so raw despite the passage of time. You can’t even imagine how much pain that must have caused him. Having to kill his father, after losing his mother only a year before that. 

Worse still, he met Taka and Sumi when that wound was still so raw, and all they did was pour salt into it. It’s no surprise that he was so utterly broken and jaded the first time you met him, but it makes the man he is now all the more miraculous by comparison.

Wrapping your arms around him, you let him cry, not minding in the slightest when he rests a damp cheek on the top of your head. ‘You did what you had to. That man was no longer your father, and he knew that. If anything, you did him a kindness. It sounds like he wanted to die, after all that he did to you. He was so devastated by the loss of your mother that he tried to kill his only child, rather than seeking solace in the fact that he still had you. He would have hated himself for such a thing. At least he died at the hands of someone who loves him. 

‘This doesn’t change the way I feel about you, either. I know that you’ve killed people, Adrian. You killed Taka and Sumi, and those men that left me for dead. You had your reasons for killing Dracula, just as you had your reasons for killing them. It doesn’t change the fact that I love you, and that I want to be by your side.’ Trust him to worry about something like this. There’s a part of you that’s always known he played a part in his father’s death, and it doesn’t phase you. You know that he’d never hurt anyone unless he had a reason, and that there is no reason that could ever lead him to cause you harm.

Alucard twists his head so he can kiss the top of yours, before pulling away from your embrace. ‘I am glad that you think that. There is something else in this room that I would like to show you.’ He points towards a painting that you hadn’t fully noticed before, something that you regret immensely; it’s adorable.

Well, the child with the perfect mass of blonde hair and golden eyes sitting between his parents is adorable. Dracula and Lisa look much the same as they do in all of their portraits, only this time there seems to be an unmistakable air of pride to both of them, and rightly so; you’d be proud if you’d made a child that looked as cute as that. Oh, but if this is Dracula and Lisa’s child, then that means…

You walk over to examine the painting properly, grinning like a madman. ‘Adrian, I’m almost offended that you kept this from me! You look like a beautiful little cherub!’ Well, a cherub in fine clothing, but a cherub regardless.

Alucard chuckles weakly as he stands by your side. ‘My mother often said the same. She wanted my father to paint me as one once, apparently. It’s one of the few requests he ever refused. He wanted his son dressed as raised as a proper gentleman at all times. Mother agreed with him on that, but she still thought it would be cute.’ It makes you sad that of all the requests Lisa made, that was the one that was rejected; you would have teased Alucard over that proposed portrait for the rest of your relationship.

Turning your head away from baby Alucard with some reluctance, you smile widely at his grownup self. ‘Thank you for showing me this, Adrian. You may just have been the most beautiful baby in all of creation. I just hope our babies are this cute.’ You slap a hand over your mouth, instantly regretting saying that. Of course Alucard never wants to have children with you. You’re only his mistress, and he’s far too traditional to want children with anyone that isn’t his wife! Besides, even if he didn’t mind the idea of having children outside of marriage, he’d at least want to have them with someone more beautiful than you.

Alucard’s expression turns completely neutral. ‘Do you remember that I once told you I have much in common with mules?’ What? What does that have to do with anything?

When you ask him, Alucard’s eyes begin to show the same endless pit of sadness that they once did. ‘A mule is the offspring of two different animals, a donkey and a horse. In a similar way, I am also the offspring of two different animals, a human and a vampire. Genetic mixes such as myself are known as hybrids, and there is something that all hybrids have in common; they are unable to produce offspring. I can’t have children, my love, and that is the thing I should have confessed to you before I even considered courtship.’ Oh. He can’t… not even if he wanted to?

Now it’s your turn to cry, but not for yourself. You’ve never really thought that Alucard would want to have children with you, but the fact that he’ll never have any with anyone breaks your heart. He would have been the most amazing father, one that any child would be lucky to have. He would have been so kind, and attentive, and his child would have worshiped him as a result. Now, thanks to some cruel twist of nature, he’ll never get that chance. He’ll never be able to hold a child that he helped to create in his arms, and it breaks your heart.

Upon seeing your tears, Alucard’s own start to fall again. ‘I have inflicted great cruelty upon you. I should have made it abundantly clear that it will only ever be the two of us here. If you choose to leave me for the chance to find someone else that can give you what I cannot, I will not stop you. You would be the most incredible mother, and I would hate to rob you of that chance. Alternatively, if you wanted to stay with me, but still wanted a child… I hate the thought of you laying with another, but if it would bring you happiness, I would allow it.’ What? He’d let you sleep with someone else just for the sake of having a child? Doesn’t he know you at all?!

Placing your hands on his cheeks, you wipe away his tears with your thumbs as you allow your own to continue flowing. ‘Now you listen to me, Adrian Tepes. I love you. I have only ever loved you, and I will only ever love you. If I can’t carry your children, then I won’t carry any children. I would happily live out the rest of my days with you alone, because I love you far too much to be with anyone else. Besides, if we really wanted children, we could adopt them. There are so many orphans that are desperate for a loving home, and we could give it to them. If not, then just the two of us is more than enough for me.’ As long as you still have Alucard, you don’t care about the rest. You just need him.

He’s more than enough.

Alucard is quick to pull you in a hug, squeezing your body so tightly it’s almost painful. ‘You’ll never regret this. I swear, you’ll never know a single moment of unhappiness with me. I’ll give you everything you could ever dream of. I love you, and I was so terrified that I might lose you that I prepared for the worst. Now I can start looking forward to the future, one with you by my side.’ He starts kissing the top of your head almost desperately, his relief palpable. He must have truly believed that you were going to leave him over this. As if anything could ever tear you apart. 

You’re all his, after all, and if you get your way, you always will be. 

Thankfully, it seems like Alucard wants the same.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard is never leaving her side again. Not now. Not after leaving that.

He wasn’t scared of revealing the truth about his father. She is no stranger to violence, and it isn’t as if he acted without a completely valid reason. It was his father’s life, or all of humanity, and he made that impossible choice knowing full well that it had to be done.

Ultimately, it was the fact that he can’t have children that he has lost sleep over.

If Alucard had known his confession would be met by such complete acceptance, he wouldn’t have left it so long. It seems almost silly now, as if he was worrying over nothing. Of course she’ll still love him even if he can’t give her children. It is him that she loves, not the things that he can or can’t give her. He should really know that by now, but he had forgotten. It isn’t something that he’ll ever forget again.

Still, a part of him wishes that what he told her wasn’t true. He would love to watch the woman that he loves carry their child. He would delight in rubbing her sore body, thanking her time and again for bringing his child into the world. When he’d first come to the conclusion of his infertility, he’d thought nothing of it, because he never thought he’d find someone to have them with. Now that he has, the peace that he had once made with himself is not as complete as it once was, if only because he now feels as if he’s missing out. She would have been the best possible mother to his children.

His lover wriggles out of his arms, smiling as the last of her tears fall. ‘I don’t know about you, but all of this emotion has made me hungry.’ Why does everything she says make him love her more? He could spend forever by her side and never tire of listening to her.

Alucard chuckles. ‘I suppose I should feed you, then. It seems the very least I can do.’ He did promise that she’d never go hungry in his castle, after all…

Well, it’s their castle now.

His lover shakes her head. ‘Oh, no. I’m not the one that needs looking after. I’m taking over the cooking for the day, and you can’t stop me.’ Technically untrue. He could do all manner of things to stop her, but he won’t. He knows how important it is for her to feel as if she’s taking care of him, even if her continued love is care enough. 

Speaking of her love, there is no longer anything holding him back. Not even the slightest thing. He’s going to have an engagement ring made for her, and then he’s going to ask her to marry him. Surely she won’t refuse him? She has already said that she never intends to leave, so it should make her happy, if anything. It is permanent proof that he shares her devotion, and that while there is breath in him, he will love her with all that he is.

As the two of them leave his childhood bedroom, Alucard can’t help but smile. The future he’s been dreaming of is now firmly in his grasp. It all hinges on a single question, and he’s pretty sure he knows what the answer will be.

He’s going to marry the woman he loves, and finally get the happy ending he’s been dreaming of. 

Life couldn’t possibly be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... But now the sads is over, happy times ahead :D
> 
> Thank you to everyone for reading the story so far, and we hope to see you on Friday ^.^


	38. A Ring Made For A Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Here, have some fluff to make up for the feels of last chapter T.T

A light pressure on your palm guides you from unconsciousness, and as you expose your eyes to the early morning sun, it is no surprise to see Alucard gently kissing along your scar, his eyes closed as he enjoys the sensation of your skin against his lips.

Yawning softly, you bring your free hand up to his hair, stroking it gently. ‘Good morning, Adrian.’ At least if he's being this affectionate, it means he’s recovered from his moments of melancholy from yesterday, and that’s enough to brighten your heart.

Yesterday’s confessions had both come as a bit of a shock, especially the second one. While there is always going to be a part of you that is sad you’ll never have your own perfect little cherub to love, you’re still more than content to give that up if it means getting to stay by Alucard’s side. It wouldn’t feel right unless it was Alucard’s cherub, anyway. At least if it’s only the two of you, you won’t have to worry about things like privacy or being quiet during sex, both things you imagine you’ll have trouble with in the future. Besides, you still get to be with the man you love. That in itself is worth any price you have to pay.

You can feel Alucard smiling against your palm, before he tilts his head back and opens his eyes. ‘My angel is awake, I see. Did you have dreams just as beautiful as you are, my love?’ He’s staring up at you with the utmost focus, as if hanging on your every word. You always love him so much when he’s like this, looking at you as if there is nothing else in the world. Just the two of you, so happy to be with each other that everything else is insignificant. 

Stroking his hair softly, you give Alucard a smile that matches his own. ‘They were as beautiful as you, actually.’ As if anything could truly compare. He is more an angel than you, especially first thing in the morning, where the sunlight reflects off his hair and makes his golden eyes sparkle. 

Alucard hums. ‘I see. We shall have to try for better dreams, then. Perhaps I should sing to you at night? Do you think that would aid your rest?’ You don’t think you’ve ever heard him sing before, but you’d love to be given that chance. His voice would surely be enough to lull you into the deepest and most wonderful of sleeps, a soft melody that only you get to hear.

Despite that, his voice isn’t the thing that will truly help you sleep well. ‘The best way to aid my rest is for you to hold me. In fact, why don’t you come back to bed and let me prove it?’ While it is true that it’s probably past the time you normally wake, that doesn’t matter. You’d spend all day in bed with Alucard, if he would allow it. You’d be content only to leave his arms to attend to bodily functions, and of course one of you would need to fetch food, but apart from that…

Chuckling, Alucard stands, and you can't stop yourself from pouting when you realise he’s fully dressed. ‘Unfortunately, I have business to attend to in town that cannot wait. We do need to eat, after all.’ Your stomach grumbles at the mere mention of the word, craving breakfast already despite the fact that you haven’t been conscious for long.

Still, if Alucard needs to visit the town, it’ll have to wait. ‘Alright. Give me a moment to get dressed then.’ After the emotional turmoil that you both went through yesterday, you were hoping you could spend the day relaxing together, but you can’t exactly go without food, and you doubt Alucard will want to leave you alone here, despite the safety of the castle.

Just as you sit up, Alucard places his hands on your shoulders, gently pushing you back against the bed. ‘While I admire your enthusiasm, I would like to go alone today, if I may? I don’t really want to leave the castle at all today, so I plan to travel at some speed so I can be in and out of town quickly. You should be perfectly safe here for an hour or so, if that is okay by you?’ For a man you were once so certain you understood, this is the second time in as many days that his actions have caught you off-guard. Is he really going into town to buy supplies, or is this some kind of trick? No, not trick, never from him. A surprise then? What kind of surprise could he be going into town for? 

Oh. You think you’ve got it! He’s going to go to Sylvia, and commission some more exciting underwear!

It makes perfect sense. What Alucard told you yesterday must have been the one thing holding him back from making love. Now that he’s done that, there is nothing stopping him. It’s only a matter of time now before he takes your virginity, so it makes sense that he starts buying you more underwear, especially if he’s likely to destroy it when the mood takes him like he did only a few days ago…

Well, if Alucard wants to surprise you, you should probably let him; spoiling you is the thing that seems to make him happiest, and underwear would be more of a treat for him, anyhow.

Content, you relax back into bed. ‘That’s fine. I’m not really feeling a trip into town today, anyway. I’ll just make myself some breakfast and read for a bit. Oh, but what of me telling myself that I’m beautiful?’ Surely he hasn’t forgotten about your only real task?

Alucard chuckles. ‘I am glad to see you’re not trying to get out of it. We can do it later, before bed. I’m quite certain I don’t need to tell you what the reward for completion will be. As for breakfast, I will be checking to see if you have indeed fed yourself. I won’t stand for you starving yourself again. I love you far too desperately to watch you wither away again. It would surely kill me to see you the way you once were.’ You don’t think you’re in any real danger of becoming emaciated over missing a single meal, but it’s nice to see that he cares.

You place a hand on his shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. ‘I’m never going back to the way I was, Adrian. Your constant nourishment of me has given me far too great an appetite. In fact, if you’re going into town, may I request a cake from the bakery, please? The last one we had was so delicious, I’d love to try something else.’ Although, that honey cake was dreamy… Maybe you should just ask for more of that?

Alucard leans down and places a kiss on your forehead, before pulling away. ‘A sweet treat for an even sweeter lady. I’ll bring you back the finest cake I can find. I love you.’ You really do wish you could drag him back into bed, but he’s already made up his mind that he’s going, and you won’t be able to stop him no matter how much enticement you offer.

You blow him a kiss back. ‘I love you, too. Hurry back.’ You can’t imagine how upsetting it would be, spending an entire day apart from Alucard now that you’re so used to his company. You really do intend to be his mistress for life, or at least for as long as he’ll keep you.

Alucard walks away then, and you’re left trying to plan out just what you can do in his absence. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Despite telling his beloved that he plans to run to town and back at supernatural speed, Alucard is rather more tempted to skip into town, his heart soaring with an overwhelming joy that makes him feel lighter than air. This must be what it feels like to be truly and deeply in love, and he’s already becoming addicted to it. He didn’t think his love could possibly run even deeper than it already did, but after yesterday, his small pool of love had transformed into an entire ocean, and he’s more than content to drown in it.

Patting one of his pockets, Alucard’s face almost splits in half when he grins, his plan already in motion. His lover can be such a deep sleeper, a fact he shamelessly exploited a few moments ago when he wrapped a small piece of string around her ring finger, determined to obtain her ring size without asking for it. He wants his proposal to stun her, to come as a complete surprise. While it must surely be obvious by now that he intends to have her as his bride, she has made no mention of marriage, though she must surely be thinking of it. They have courted long enough now that if she had any family remaining on this earth, they would surely start pressuring him to make an honest woman of her. His own parents would be doing much the same, or his mother at the very least. Well, very soon he is going to fix that. As soon as the ring is made, his plan will be made reality as soon as possible.

As he travels through the forest, Alucard thinks of all the places he could ask for her hand in marriage. The ballroom is a good idea. He could have her swaying gracefully in his arms, and when she least expects it, he could fall onto one knee and present her the ring.

Maybe he should choose the flower field? That was the first place he considered. The place where he saw her as beautiful for the very first time, and that first sparked the overwhelming love that now burns bright inside him.

He could always try a more simple route. Present it to her one day while she examines herself in the mirror, just as he had the necklace. A proposal doesn’t have to be fancy, as such, and she’s still so painfully humble that he could ask her over breakfast and she’d still cry her heart out, declaring him to be the most romantic man alive. He can do far better than that, though. She deserves a special proposal, one worthy of a woman as special as her.

Arriving in the town, Alucard’s first stop is of course the jewellers. The faster he has this ring, the faster he’ll have a wife, and he wants that. He needs that, more than anything. She is going to be the most beautiful bride. He’s going to cry at his wedding, he just knows it. How could he not cry upon hearing the love of his life swearing to stand by him forever? It’s going to be the best day of his life, without a single shadow of a doubt. Nothing will ever top that most perfect of days.

Entering the shop, Alucard knows in his mind roughly what he wants. This is the one piece of jewellery that he knows she’ll accept without a debate, so he wants it to be the finest it can possibly be. It’ll have to be gold, for his sake. The last thing he wants is for her to take it off just to touch him. He wants to feel her beringed hand against his bare flesh, and know that she is his. 

The jeweller smiles at Alucard from behind the counter. ‘Good morning, Sir. How may I help you today?’ Oh, but this man will help him. Help him with the most important task of his life.

Alucard smiles back, eyes looking over the various rings on display. ‘I am looking to have an engagement ring made.’ The finest one possible, one worthy for a woman of the highest possible quality.

This seems to be music to his ears. ‘Of course, Sir. Are you looking to have one made, or has something from my display caught your eye?’ Oh, but he wants one custom made just for her. He wants her to have one that is totally unique, and one that he himself has had a hand in designing. 

Still, a few of these rings are nice. Maybe he could try to incorporate them into the design?

An idea now in mind, Alucard smiles widely. ‘I would like you to make one, please. I have a few ideas in mind that I’d like to discuss.’ He just has to picture which one would look the best against his beloved’s skin, and he knows that he has found the one.

The jeweller nods. ‘Alright. Please, tell me what you have in mind.’ Oh, but he will. His future wife deserves the world, and she shall receive it. He will make sure of that.

She has chosen to love him, and he will see to it that she knows just what that means to him.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After giving the jeweller his ring specification, Alucard decides to pay Sylvia a visit. After all, he did just destroy some underwear, so that’ll need to be replaced. Besides which, he’s told her more than a few white lies of late, and he needs to change that. After all, his bride will need a wedding dress, and he can think of nobody he would rather have create such a thing.

With the bell announcing his arrival as usual, it’s no surprise when Sylvia appears swiftly, grinning when she realises who it is that’s just walked in. ‘Ah, Mr Arikado! I was wondering when I might see you again. No wife with you today?’ It is hardly surprising either that she would ask after his future bride. The two women seem to have formed quite the bond, even after such acquaintance. It makes him so happy that she has found a friend outside the castle. Maybe he should encourage them to spend time together socially?

That is, if Sylvia will still talk to them after he comes clean.

Readying himself for a barrage of insults, Alucard starts to come clean. ‘I have asked her to stay at home today, but you should know that the young woman whom I have requested you to make many dresses for is not in fact my wife.’ This is it. This is where Sylvia is horrified to discover that she has been making underwear that will inevitably lead to premarital sex, because heaven knows Alucard will struggle to wait that long if he keeps seeing her half-naked and practically begging for him. 

Sylvia pauses for a moment, before humming. ‘There was a part of me that wondered why you were so willing to spend money on dresses when neither of you was wearing a wedding ring. I take it you are not Mr Arikado, either?’ She doesn’t seem angry yet, but there’s still every chance she could flip out and start shouting.

Alucard nods. ‘It is Tepes. Alucard Tepes, although that is technically a nickname.’ As much as he wants to tell the full truth, he would rather not give his first name. He doesn’t know Sylvia well enough for that yet.

Sylvia nods. ‘I did not think Arikado was a particularly Wallachian-sounding name. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr Tepes. Is there some way I can assist you today?’ It is a great relief that she is taking this so well; it really would be a shame to visit another seamstress when this one is a great favourite of his love’s.

With his confession out of the way, Alucard can finally discuss business. ‘I was wondering if you still had my lover’s measurements? There was a bit of an… accident. If it makes you feel better, I did have to pull at them quite hard to get the seams to break. You are truly a master of your craft.’ Were it not for his supernatural strength, Alucard might not have been able to break them. That might have been for the best, but in the heat of the moment, they were little more than an inconvenience. 

His confession makes Sylvia chuckle. ‘I’m glad you enjoyed them while they lasted. Did your lady enjoy her surprise gift, by the way?’ Oh, but he really must thank her for that!

Alucard smiles widely. ‘She did. She thought that you had given it to her by mistake. It took me a lot of time to convince her to try it on, and when I told her it was a gift, she cried.’ His pure angel, moved to tears of joy over even the smallest of gestures…

It looks as if Sylvia herself is going to burst into tears, moved by his story. ‘It makes my heart glad to know I caused her such joy. She is nothing like the other noble women I’ve met. She’s always so humble and genuine. It’s why I’m always so happy that you spoil her so.’ Well, the money she receives is also a small part of it, but happiness is her greatest reward.

For a moment, Alucard debates with himself on what he should say, before he finally answers. ‘She is unlike any other noble woman because she wasn’t born into nobility. She spent most of her life living on the streets before our paths crossed. She was injured, so I took her in. I had no idea that I would fall so helplessly in love with her, but now I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her. That’s why, if everything goes well, I think we shall both be in here soon looking to commission a wedding dress.’ It will be the perfect dress, too. Anything she wants she can have, so long as Sylvia can create it.

Sylvia really does burst into tears this time. ‘That’s a wonderful story. Oh, but I wish you both all the happiness in the world. I would be so honoured to make her dress. She’ll be the most wonderful bride you’ve ever seen.’ As if there was any doubt of that. She will be perfect, purely because she is who she is, and because she is his.

Alucard nods. ‘She’ll be without equal. So, how much will it cost to arrange a replacement for the underwear I destroyed?’ Knowing the seamstress as he does, it’ll probably be next to nothing, or far less than she should charge. 

Sylvia waves a hand dismissively. ‘Keep your coin away from me, Mr Tepes. You’ve overpaid me more than enough for this one to be completely free of charge. Consider it an early wedding gift, if you must.’ That is extraordinarily kind of her. Alucard makes a mental note to overpay her greatly for the wedding dress, confident that it will be a thing of considerable skill. 

Knowing from experience how it feels when someone argues with you over a gift, Alucard nods. ‘You are very generous. While I’ll need final confirmation from my future bride, I would like to invite you and your family to the wedding, if you’d like to attend.’ After all, it would be a shame if she didn’t get to see all her hard work come to fruition.

Scrawling something in her note book quickly, Sylvia gives Alucard a warm smile. ‘I would be honored. Be careful though, my kids can be wild, and there’s a lot of them.’ Ah. Perhaps not, then. It might be cruel to taunt his wife with something she’ll never have, on her wedding day, no less…

Promising to ask his future wife for confirmation of such an invitation, Alucard leaves Sylvia’s shop with his head held high. Now all he has to do is grab her some cake, pick up some food, and he’s good to go.

At least this won’t take long. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Half an hour later, Alucard begins his journey back to the castle, carrying enough food for several days.

Granted, some of it is cake. He wasn’t sure what to pick, so he purchased a selection, including the honeyed sponge she’d enjoyed so much last time. He’s also purchased a jar of honey, something that had sent some absolutely filthy thoughts into his head.

Given how much they had both enjoyed that afternoon with the honey and apples, maybe she would enjoy it if they shared a jar in the bedroom? The only thing sweeter than honey would be honey that he has drizzled over her nipples, those golden droplets of sweetness begging for his tongue.

Oh, but he would not deny her a taste of it, too. He’d spill some over his cock just for her, and watch as her tongue licked its way up and down his erection, swirling it around his tip just to be sure. She’d need to be sure, too. She’d need to lick him clean, before he flipped her onto her knees and buried himself inside her.

No, he couldn’t. That would be dreadfully unhygienic. He’d run them a bath to share, instead. Then, when they’re nice and clean, he’d find a way to dirty her again…

Fuck. Why must he always get so ahead of himself? He’s only just ordered the ring, he needs to dial these thoughts right back.

After all, there is no guarantee that she’ll even say yes. Now there’s a thought that makes dark clouds cover Alucard’s heart.

As much as she loves him, marriage is a serious commitment. As his lover, she is free to leave at any time, but as his wife? While he would still let her leave, the stigma of divorce would follow her for the rest of her life. If she marries him, she can’t go back to the way she was, in the same way he won’t be able to make her a virgin again after they’ve made love. It’s permanent, and serious, and what if she says no?

If she does say no, he’ll take it as best he can. He’ll be devastated, but he won’t force the issue. He’d love her all the same. He might be inconsolable for a while though, but he won’t let her see that. If she knew what a blow rejection is, she might change her mind out of a desire to make him happy, and he doesn’t want that. If she is to become the next Mrs Tepes, it will be because she desires the title. It is not the best of titles, considering the circumstances, but it would be hers. His wife, the next lady of Castlevania. 

Alucard can only hope she accepts his proposal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Sooooooon O.O
> 
> For now, have a nice weekend, and we should be back again with something very sweet on Monday ;)
> 
> Update; Due to unforeseen circumstances, update is delayed until Wednesday. We apologise wholeheartedly, but we’ll be back :)


	39. I Like Me Better When I'm With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Apologies for the delay, but please enjoy the new fluffy chapter! uwu

It’s lunchtime when Alucard finally returns, a full basket of goodies in his hand as he joins you in the kitchen. Something must have happened in town to cause him such a delay, given how he planned to be there and back quite quickly; unless your assumption is correct, and the reason for his delay was him selecting underwear for you.

In any case, you’re quick to greet him with a smile and a quick kiss, and not at all surprised when Alucard refuses your offer of taking the basket from him. ‘It is a little too heavy, my love. I will not trouble you with it. The greatest help you could give me right now would be a summary of your morning so far. Did you remember to eat breakfast?’ Does he really think you’d go back to starving yourself after he made you promise you wouldn’t?

You smile at him, pointing to an empty bowl near the sink. ‘Yep. I had oats, as usual. I was just about to make lunch, if you’re hungry? You look like you’ve been busy.’ Now you think of it, for a man that usually forages for supplies, he’s really gone overboard. That only strengthens your certainty that he did something secret today; he’s overcompensating.

Alucard puts his basket down on the table, waving one of his hands dismissively. ‘Not really. Town was a little busy however, but I think I got everything we needed, including a treat for the most wonderful woman alive.’ There he goes with his flattery again. One day he’ll realise you don’t need it to feel special; knowing that he loves you is enough to make you feel like the most special woman alive.

You can’t help but feign ignorance. ‘I see. Well, if I start lunch now, it should be ready by the time you’ve given it to her. Does she live nearby?’ 

The answering pout Alucard gives makes you want to take the words back. ‘And here I was thinking we had made great progress with your regrettably low self-esteem. Should I make you speak various other affirmations in front of the mirror? Or should I strip you down and make you do them naked?’ That half-hearted threat of his doesn’t carry half as much weight as it used to…

You can’t help but smirk. ‘Not only have you already seen me naked, but you’ve had your tongue inside me, Adrian. You really think standing naked in a mirror would bother me?’ In truth it would probably bother you quite a lot, but you’re no longer concerned about being naked around him, given what he likes to do to you when you’re not wearing anything. In fact, if you were to strip off right now, you suspect he’d be quite agreeable to doing it again.

As Alucard begins to pack away the food, tilting his head to you so he can smirk right back. ‘I shouldn’t bother you. You have a body that was made to be worshiped and adored, especially by me. You never have to be ashamed or embarrassed by your body. In fact, you should be proud of it. Just not so proud you start stripping off in front of other men. While I wouldn’t call myself a possessive person, I dislike the idea of other men seeing your body.’ How many men do the two of you know that you’re likely to strip off in front of? 

Still, Alucard’s statement makes you laugh softly. ‘That sounds plenty possessive to me, Adrian. Then again, you have every right to be. I am yours, after all. You’re the only man that ever gets to touch me.’ Your words are enough to make Alucard pause, a mere heartbeat away from putting a jar of honey away. 

Staring at the jar, Alucard sighs contentedly. ‘Yes, I am. You are my one true love, the only woman I ever intend to lay with, and I am confident you feel the same. You would not linger here if you did not love me completely. I just have to keep you happy, and you’ll stay by my side. That is something I am happy to dedicate a lifetime to.

‘Speaking of your happiness, I believe I mentioned your treat.’ Alucard walks back over to his basket then, producing a bundle of something soft-looking. ‘I couldn’t decide which one to pick up, so I got a selection. We can eat once you’ve done your little task for the day.’ So he means to make you do it now, then? That’s quite surprisingly really. You thought he might delay it until tonight, so he had an unneeded excuse to drag you into bed and make love to you with his mouth…

Unwilling to argue over the one thing that Alucard asks you to do, you don’t question him, instead choosing to nod. ‘We should go to the bedroom, then. I’ll take my cake as a reward.’ As nice as Alucard’s intended reward might have been, you’d much rather just spend time in his company; it’s been a very lonely morning without him here.

Your suggestion seems to please Alucard, who grabs the bundle of cake. ‘Very well. You tell yourself how beautiful you are, and we can eat cake in bed as you tell me how you occupied yourself today. I wish to hear every detail.’ Telling him every detail of what you’ve done in his absence will only take a few moments; he was only gone for a few hours at most. If he really wants you to describe how you sat around reading as you eagerly awaited his return though, you’re happy to humour him, if he’s willing to tell you a few things about his day.

Apart from the surprise he’s planning, of course. Not that you know anything about that…

Letting Alucard take the lead, you follow him up the stairs, noticing how light he is on his feet today. ‘I take it you’ve had a good day? You’re practically skipping up these stairs. I didn’t know you enjoy shopping so much.’ If this is indeed the case, you’ll have to let him go off shopping more often! It’s such a wonderful thing, seeing Alucard so joyful. He’s a far cry from the man who once tried to kill you, and you’ve never been more glad of anything in your life.

Alucard chuckles. ‘Oh, but I have so, so many reasons to be merry, and not all of them are related to shopping. After what happened with Taka and Sumi, I thought that all the joy had been sucked out of my life. I was content to live alone, forsaking the company of the humans I had come to view as so treacherous. Then a certain thief came into my life, and suddenly, all that lost felicity is returned to me tenfold. All I want to do now is spend all day here with you, curling up with books and sweet treats. My personal ray of sunshine, come to save me from the darkness that is loneliness.’ Alucard is always so gushing and poetic, especially when it comes to you. You just wish you possessed a similar skill, but alas, the words always seem to feel so lacking when you try. If only there was a way you could show him the depths of your devotion, save for a vow to spend the rest of your days with him…

… Well, there would be marriage, if by some miracle Alucard ever decides he wants that. As time goes on however, whatever faint hope of that there might have been is dwindling. One thing you know for sure about your lover is that he was raised on traditional values, so if there was even the slightest chance of an engagement, it probably would have happened before you did anything sexual. No, you are a mistress, and a spoilt one at that, both in terms of material wealth and the total devotion Alucard shows. This is the life you have chosen, and it is perfect; it means you get to be with the man you love, without any reason to hold back. You don’t have to wait for a ceremony to give your body to Alucard. He is welcome to take you the moment he feels ready, with no more reasons to hold back.

When you make it to the top of the stairs, you pull Alucard into a quick kiss, before flashing him a bright smile. ‘I couldn’t have done that if you didn’t let me in. Not that I had much say in that, of course.’ If you’d been more lucid when he found you in that stream, you probably would have told him to let you die, a twisted punishment for breaking your promise. You’re just glad your masochistic tendencies seem to have calmed down, now that you’re in a position of total comfort and safety. 

Alucard grabs your hand, threading his fingers through your own as you both continue walking. ‘I couldn’t have just left you there even if you had objected. You were but a harmless young man, about to die. I was the only one who could help you, so I chose to do so. Whatever kindness my mother had taught me resurfaced in that moment, coupled with my own guilt. I should never have sent you away like I did, but at least our story has a happy ending.’ You’re inclined to agree with that; if getting a savage beating was the price of this new life, it is one you are all-too happy to have paid.

There is one thing you take issue with though. ‘We’re not at the ending yet. We still have a lot of things to experience with each other, in case you’ve forgotten. Besides, we at least have to find out how Trevor and Sypha feel about us. That’s something that’ll be worth more than an epilogue.’ Come to think of it, how will they react? Will they be pleased about this, or would they rather Alucard was with someone else? Someone more suitable? As much as Sypha seems to encourage you to nurture your feelings, that doesn’t mean she fully approves…

Alucard hums. ‘Indeed. That is one chapter that will have a happy ending though, as least as far as Sypha is concerned. I think she rather intended for us to be together. I can’t speak for Belmont, however. He’ll probably despair when he finds out the son of his family’s ultimate enemy has found true happiness, or at least the beginning of it.’ Only the beginning? What more can you do? Does he mean… oh yeah! Sex! That’s when the true happiness begins; the day he feels comfortable enough to truly make love to you.

You squeeze Alucard’s hand. ‘He’ll have to get used to it, because I’m going nowhere. Except the bedroom, of course.’ As if on cue, Alucard opens the bedroom door, releasing your hand and gesturing for you to enter first. 

Knowing what the plan is, you begin to strip off your dress, Alucard watching you as he puts the bundle of cake on the bed, almost tripping over in his distracted state. ‘So, do you plan to strip off completely, or is it underwear as usual?’ That’s a fair question, one you’d not fully considered. 

As tempting as it is to give Alucard an eyeful, you’re not quite ready for that. ‘Underwear, If that’s okay?’ It’ll be unfortunate if it isn’t; you’re not going to be stripping off.

Alucard nods. ‘Of course. I’ll just have to get you naked another time. Assume the position then, my love.’ Pushing your dress down until it pools at your feet, you step out and stand in front of the mirror, giving your body the once over.

It really is amazing, looking at how much you’ve changed since you came here. Looking at you now, no one would ever guess that you came from nothing. You look like you were born into this life, a life of comfort and luxury, and it does make it easier to see why Alucard finds you somewhat attractive. Healthy curves are, to your knowledge, something a lot of men find attractive, and you have plenty of them. Would you have looked like this if you hadn’t lost your parents? Or is this the kind of figure that only those who live in luxury get to have?

Either way, this time you almost mean it when you say ‘I’m beautiful.’ You’re at least willing to concede that this is the most beautiful you’ve ever been.

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Alucard is behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. ‘Yes, you are. Beautiful, and loved.’ On that, the two of you are in total agreement; you’re loved, alright.

Just like Alucard is.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

As Alucard and his lover sit down on the bed to eat cake, her still clad in nothing but her underwear, the dhampir can’t help but feel oddly smug. This is the life many a man dreams of, and it has fallen into his lap so very easily.

Unwrapping the package, he smiles as her eyes grow wide, taken aback by all the choices on display. He lives for that look of surprise on her face whenever he does things like this. He lives for a lot of what she does, if he’s honest with himself. His life would not be the same without her in it, and it would be worse for such an absence.

Alucard’s greatest hope is that the jeweler doesn’t take too long. He’s so anxious to learn of her response. Maybe he should just ask her right now, promise to give her the ring later? 

No, that would not do. It has to be special. It has to be perfect.

There is only one place to do it, now that he thinks of it.

It would make sense to do it there, a place that holds such significance. How would he get her there, though? While it is true that he could just instruct her to leave the castle and journey to the spot he is thinking of, she might get suspicious. Unless…

If Alucard wasn’t so focused on her chewing a piece of cake happily, he might throw his hands up in frustration. Perfection is such a difficult thing, especially when the situation is this important. He just wants it to be something she won’t ever forget, for the right reasons. This is as much for his sake as it is hers. He’s not likely to propose twice, after all.

Unless she says no the first time. 

There is little point in him worrying. He knows that. He just can’t help it. This is the most important thing he’s ever going to do, in terms of his own happiness. This is the life he wants to lead, and it is but a single question away.

Does she know what he is planning? She is no fool. She must know he had a reason for traveling alone today. If he is lucky, she might just assume he visited Sylvia, asking her to replace the underwear he ruined. He hopes she does, just to keep the element of surprise. That is a key part of such a question, and he’ll keep it if he can. 

He just hopes her answer doesn’t come as a surprise, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that chapter was as sweet as that cake ;3 I have a little bad news, due to the recent events we are both not really in the best of mindset at the moment to write the next chapter. Which we want it to be the best quality that we can provide! So with that in mind, we will be taking the rest of the week off. Hopefully, with this break, we will be good as new for next week's postings! Until then see you Friday~! Also, please stay safe everyone! ;w;
> 
> Update: Still not feeling up to it, so we will be aiming for Friday or next Monday! Apologies again!
> 
> Final update: The next chapter is finally in progress! We’re going to knuckle down hard for the next few days, and try to get it out by the end of this week. Thank you all so much for your patience <3


	40. Read Between The Loins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> We apologise for the delay here. We've both been through the mill a bit lately (one of us had a massive anxiety spike, and the other has had a schedule change), so we both had to take some time off. 
> 
> That being said, in order to compensate, we'll now be changing the schedule to a new chapter once a week on Wednesdays. We hope that's okay.
> 
> For now, please enjoy the long overdue chapter (and no, the title isn't a typo ;3)

Three weeks after Alucard’s solo visit to town, and you’ve still yet to discover the purpose of his visit.

As speedy as she is, Sylvia would probably have finished any single commission Alucard gave her by now, which only makes you suspicious as to what he’s ordered. Maybe it isn’t underwear like you’d initially suspected? It wouldn’t be unlike Alucard to order you an entirely fresh wardrobe as a surprise, his seemingly endless spoiling of you something he seems to delight in. He’d buy you every dress conceivable if you asked, and might even do so without the need for a request.

There is also the chance that Alucard managed to sneak off to town one day while you were preoccupied, and the surprise he had mentioned over breakfast is the fruit of his secretive machinations.

It had taken you by surprise when Alucard had told you that he has something big to share with you today. The raised eyebrow you’d given him in response had caused his perfect composure to crack for a moment, something exposed by him choking on his oats. After a few deep breaths, he’d clarified that the ‘big surprise’ between his legs is hardly a surprise at all, given how familiar you’ve become with it of late.

After choking on your own breakfast in response, Alucard had finally offered clarification. ‘This castle has been in a state of disrepair for quite some time. I had planned to renovate it, but between the state of the Belmont junk pile and your arrival, I simply haven’t had the time. However, now that I am confident you don't require constant supervision for fear of reinjury, I’ve been dedicating some time to it. I’d like to share the results with you, if you’re agreeable?’ You smiled and nodded at that, happy that Alucard wants to share the things he’s been doing with you.

Yet despite his insistence, you still can’t help but think this is all a ruse of sorts. While it’s true the two of you haven’t been joined at the hip quite so much lately, and he could indeed have renovated parts of the castle as a result, it seems unlikely that there isn’t some hidden motive. In all the months you’ve been here, you’ve still only seen a fraction of the castle, with Alucard not exactly the kind of man to offer guided tours. Wherever he is taking you, it is possible that this could be your only visit to that room. After all, despite his treatment of you, you are still only his mistress, and this is his home. You have little right to wander around and invade his privacy. No, this must all be a ruse of sorts.

The only question is what kind of ruse is it?

Walking down the corridor with Alucard, an idea suddenly comes to mind, various pieces of information falling into place. A visit to town, a newly renovated room… is this the moment you finally lose your virginity?

Of course, it all makes sense now. More and more over the last few weeks, you’ve felt as if Alucard is holding back. Some nights you swear you can see actual pain in his eyes as he pulls away from your body, asking you to finish him off with your hand or your breasts. You’ve been trying to make it abundantly clear that you’re happy to do more, that he’s welcome to cross that line at last, but he seems content to ignore you. As sweet as he is, he probably wants to make it special for you. Why take you one night as you lie semi-naked in the same bed that he lost his own virginity in when he could have you in a room he has designed just for that purpose? Not that you would reject him in either scenario; you’ve been ready for this final step for weeks now.

Besides, now that you think of it, virginity is such a stupid concept. Why should it matter if a woman decides to give herself to various lovers without waiting for marriage? If you had that mindset yourself, you’d never get to feel Alucard inside you. Men aren’t held to the same standards as women, and that seems unfair.

You’re just glad your man doesn’t share that same viewpoint. You know in your heart of hearts that Alucard wouldn’t care if you’d slept with a dozen other men. As long as you are solely committed to him, nothing else matters.

Alucard stops walking just as your thoughts trail off, gesturing to a large door just in front of you both. ‘Our destination awaits, then. I do hope you like it. I think you’ll be spending a lot of time here in the future.’ That settles it, then. It must be a bedroom. This really is it. This is where you make love for the very first time. You just hope Alucard is willing to give you time to let breakfast settle before you do anything more strenuous than kissing and gentle touching…

The fact that he’s gone to this much effort is still enough to make you smile, even if it wasn’t necessary. ‘I’m sure I’ll love it, Adrian. I love everything you do.’ Except when he decides to decorate the front garden with dead bodies, but he seems to be past that now.

Alucard nods, and is about to open the door when he pauses for a moment. ‘No, this isn’t right. It’s a poor surprise if I just open the door. Close your eyes, please. No peeking.’ What? He’s surprised you plenty of times with your eyes wide open before. He really is trying to go all out with the secrecy!

Softly closing your eyes, you hear Alucard chuckle softly, before the sound of a door creaking open catches your attention. What now, then? You can’t walk in with your eyes closed; you’re more likely to walk headfirst into the side of the door, given your history of clumsiness.

You get your answer when you feel Alucard’s chest press against your back, his cold hands moving up to cover your eyes. ‘Just to be certain you don’t spoil the surprise too early. Come on now, I’ll guide you in.’ Alucard gently starts moving forward, and you’re forced to follow, trusting him not to send you both walking into the wall.

After a few moments, Alucard stops walking, his mouth coming to rest against the shell of your ear as he whispers to you. ‘You can open your eyes now, my queen.’ Trying not to blush at being called such a thing, you wait until Alucard’s hands have left your eyes before you allow them to flutter open, a loud gasp your first response.

It’s not a bedroom at all; it’s a library.

While it isn’t as big as the Belmont library, it’s still an impressive size. There are books everywhere, on bookshelves that are easily twice your height! It would take several lifetimes to read all these books, and you suspect that’s how long it’s taken to build the collection. You could easily spend hours getting lost in here, carefully selecting book after book.

That is, if you’re permitted in here by yourself. Hadn’t you assumed moments ago that this is a one-time thing? Alucard loves to read after all, so maybe he’ll want this library as his personal sanctuary? It can’t be easy, spending each and every moment with him. You wouldn’t begrudge a private place.

Wrapping his arms firmly around your waist, Alucard presses his chest against your back again, bringing his mouth back to your ear. ‘Well? Do you like it?’ That seems such a weak word. You’re not sure exactly what his renovations were, but you’re sure he’s done good work.

Settling your hands over his, you lean back against Alucard. ‘It’s wonderful. I’m glad you have your library back. Does this mean you’ll be reading in here more often?’ It would make sense, reading where all the books are. That way, when he’s finished, he can just pull a new one right off the shelf.

Alucard sighs, snuggling in closer. ‘Only if you join me. That’s the reason I’ve finally renovated in here. Reading is something that we both enjoy, so I wanted to make this library a place we could both indulge in our favourite hobby. I’ve even made a special corner just for you.’ He takes one of your hands then, and forces it to point to a corner of the room you hadn’t noticed on first inspection.

It’s almost enough to make you weep. Nestled amongst the bookshelves is a spot covered in soft fabrics and cushions, as if he’s made a bed on the library floor. He really did that just for you? He wants you in here? You get to share all these books with him?

You shake your head, fighting back tears. ‘Thank you, but I couldn’t. I don’t want to intrude here. This should be your space.’ That being said, you wouldn’t object to coming in here when he’s not using it, just to take advantage of the comfortable nook.

Letting go of your hand, Alucard spins you around to face him, a deep frown on his face. ‘That isn’t how this works. This is our home now, not mine. Every inch of this castle belongs to you as much as it belongs to me. I know I did a poor job at welcoming you when you first arrived, but it’s different now. There is nowhere in this castle that you are not permitted to enter at your leisure, and I have no plans to keep you from this particular room after I spent so much time preparing it for you. Everything I have is yours. Remember that.’ He surely doesn’t mean that. Why bother sharing everything with you like an equal? It’s not as if you’re married or anything. You’re just lovers. Lord and mistress, in a sense. He owes you no such equality.

Still, you’ve never been one to talk yourself out of something that directly benefits you like this. ‘Does that mean I can come here as often as I want? Even if you’re not with me?’ What if you accidentally read something you’re not supposed to? Is there any forbidden knowledge amongst these books? What knowledge would Alucard even class as such?

Alucard rolls his eyes. ‘Has my explanation not made my position clear? I want you to come and go as you please. You would not be able to do so with me as a constant and required escort. Of course, if you wish to read in here with company, I am always at your disposal.’ Not just for reading either, but with the way your body has been reacting to Alucard lately, it’s probably best not to indulge in those thoughts right now…

Instead, you lean forwards, capturing his lips in a quick kiss before smiling again. ‘Does that mean we can spend all day here? Or the morning at least?’ You’ll have to leave for lunch at some point, but maybe you can come back?

Alucard chuckles. ‘Alright, all day in the library it is, but I do have one small condition. Well, two small conditions, I suppose.’ After all this, he can have all the conditions he wants!

You nod eagerly. ‘Name them.’ Maybe this is where your initial suspicions are proven right, and this has all been an elaborate and unnecessary scheme to get you to spread your legs for him?

Smiling back, Alucard gestures to one of the bookcases. ‘I’d like to choose a book for you to read to me. Would you be okay with that?’ That’s all he wants? For you to read him a book?

It’s two conditions you can easily adhere to. ‘Of course. I’ll get into our new nest while you pick one out!’ With that, you hurry over to the pile of blankets and cushions Alucard has so graciously provided for you both, curious as to what book he’ll pick.

Whichever book he chooses, you just hope it’s a good one!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Half an hour later, and you’ve decided that the book Alucard chose, while actually quite good, isn’t something you’d thought he’d enjoy.

So great was your look of surprise when you were presented with the book that Alucard had decided to comment, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. ‘Do you not approve of my choice? There are plenty of others I can select in its place if you’re dissatisfied.’ Even as the words left his mouth, you could sense disappointment rolling off of him in waves.

You’d reached the conclusion that the book must be important to him, and had therefore tried better to conceal your surprise. ‘It’s fine, really. The title threw me is all.’ If you’re honest, the title still throws you off quite a lot; ‘The Clockmaker’s Mistress’ isn’t a title you ever thought you’d be reading!

Still, you’d said Alucard could chose, and so you’d been more than happy to beckon him into your nest, unsurprised when he’d chosen to scoop you up into his lap and wrap his arms around your waist, his head peeking over your shoulder to read along as you talk. He’s even been kind enough to place a blanket over the two of you, the chill of the castle omnipresent no matter which room you occupy.

Even though you’re only a few chapters in, you’re beginning to think the title of the book is deliberately misleading. While the protagonist is a young woman, who is learning to repair and create clocks from a rather charming young man trapped into a loveless marriage for the sake of money, she is not his mistress. Neither the clockmaker nor the protagonist have expressed any romantic interest in each other, and you’re beginning to wonder if they ever will. If there’s something between them, why not just confess and kiss already? It’s driving you mad!

If Alucard is experiencing similar frustrations, he hasn’t told you; he’s just been sitting patiently, listening to the story and occasionally correcting a word you mispronounce. You’d be lying if you said this wasn’t a perfect way to spend your morning.

Realising that you’ve paused for a moment, Alucard tilts his head and kisses your cheek. ‘Still happy to read on, my queen? I believe we are reaching a pivotal moment in the story.’ That doesn’t seem likely. It’s just another scene of them together, the clockmaker sat at his desk as the young woman carefully watches him work;

‘As Sylas carefully and meticulously begins to reassemble the now-polished clock mechanism, I find myself utterly mesmerised by his hands. They’re so… clean, and flawless. Men who work with their hands seldom keep them in such fine shape.’ As you read, you feel the fabric of your dress rub up against the blanket, as if it’s being pulled up…

Dismissing the thought, you continue reading. ‘Noticing my gaze, Sylas grins at me wickedly. ‘You seem a little preoccupied. Is there something you wish to discuss?’ This has left me in quite the predicament. Do I change the subject, or do I give him an honest answer?

‘Not wishing to be deceitful, I opt to tell him the truth. ‘I was just looking at your hands is all. They aren’t as blemished as I’d expected.’ Then again, the clockmaker's art is one of finesse, so perhaps it makes sense for his hands to be so soft and dextrus.’ You feel something hard and cool brush against your thigh, and you finally realise why your dress felt odd; Alucard has pulled it up, and his hand is on your bare leg.

Trying your best to ignore him, you clear your throat, and begin again. ‘Sylas' grin doesn’t falter. ‘Thank you for the compliment. My hands are very important to me. They allow me to bring joy to others, both through my work, and certain other means.’ Other means? Does He have other hobbies we have yet to discuss?

‘My curiosity piqued, I take what is clearly an open opportunity to ask him a question. ‘Through what other means do your hands bring people pleasure?’ His answer is probably going to be something obvious, like shaking hands with strangers or something.

‘Sylas takes that as his queue to stand, abandoning his work to stand behind me. I freeze as one of his hands settles over my clothed breast, and his hot breath begins to whisper pure sin in my ear. ‘Bend over the desk and I’ll show you.’’ As you read that last line, you hear the all-too familiar sound of your underwear being torn away, one of Alucard’s fingers stroking your clit before settling in front of your opening.

Alucard’s teasing is too much for you to ignore now. ‘Adrian? What are you doing?’ He thrusts his hips up at you then, and you feel something firm press against your ass; was this his plan all along?

Alucard makes a noise halfway between a chuckle and a growl, the tip of his finger pushing inside of you. ‘Keep reading and you’ll find out.’ He twists his finger slightly, and you squeal, fighting the urge to push down on the digit so you can take it inside of you properly.

When Alucard doesn’t move for a moment, you realise he’s being serious, so you try to read again. ‘Sylas’ words seem to trigger something within me, and without thought, I brace myself against the table before me, careful not to disturb the clockmaker’s work as I feel him push up my dress and-’ Adrian!’ Alucard’s finger is fully inside you now, his thumb settling against your clit as he starts to move.

With a small hum, Alucard nips your ear. ‘I don’t believe the book says ‘Adrian’. I think it says ‘... Slide two of his soft fingers inside of my welcoming heat, the unfamiliar stretch softened by the arousal I wasn’t aware I was experiencing.’ Still, I suppose you are preoccupied at the moment. Carry on.’ He can’t really expect you to focus when you’re like this, can he? All you can think about right now is his hand, and all the sinful things he’s doing with it.

One of Alucard’s hands comes up to grab your breast through your dress, and you moan, grinding yourself back against his crotch. ‘Adrian… I can’t. I can’t read like this. I just want you.’ His thumb starts rubbing your clit as his finger slowly moves in and out, his other hand pinching your clothed nipple.

Alucard tuts. ‘Yes, you can. You’re a talented woman, more than capable of reading no matter what distractions I may throw your way. What if I offered you incentive for finishing? Would you do it then?’ That depends; does that incentive involve him abandoning his teasing and just fucking you already?

Considering that his teasing is always relentless, that seems unlikely, but it’s worth finding out. ‘If I get to the end of the chapter, would you take me here and now?’ As much as you hate the idea of rushing him, you need him, more than you’ve ever needed anything. The thought of having him inside you is incentive enough to make you do anything.

Alucard’s hand falters, a guttural moan sounding off in his chest. ‘You have no idea how much I want to, but I can’t. Not here and not now. Soon.’ How soon? Tonight? Tomorrow? Why is now a bad time?

Still, you’re not going to argue about it now, not with one of his fingers inside you. ‘Can you… Another finger, then? Please?’ If Alucard won’t fuck you as you want, at least an extra finger will make it easier to imagine what he’d feel like inside you.

Your request has Alucard’s mouth traveling to your neck, speaking into your skin as his hand begins its motions again. ‘Interesting. I’ve only just slid one finger inside of you, and you’re already asking for another? You really do want to be full of me, don’t you? My queen, never asking for anything except my time and attention. Forget the book, then, and let me take care of you. A small spoiler for you though; the clockmaker does end up giving the protagonist more than just his fingers.’ With Alucard’s permission given, you place the book to one side, closing your eyes and leaning against him.

The hand on your breast moves to yank the front of your dress down, allowing Alucard to grope at your bare breast as he continues to finger you at a steady pace. A second finger rests just outside of you, as if he’s waiting to slide it in as soon as he thinks you’re ready. You just wish he’d get on with it right now; even you can tell that you’re more than wet enough to take it.

While Alucard is distracted, you reach a hand behind you to cup Alucard through his trousers, biting your lip as he moans into your neck. His fangs flirt with the edge of your skin, threatening to draw blood if they press any harder. You try to push your skin up to encourage him, but he pulls away just enough to stop them digging into your flesh. He chuckles when you whimper in frustration, speeding up his finger and thumb as your body begins to heat up.

After a few minutes, you find your voice. ‘Adrian… more… I’m ready for more…’ Alucard doesn’t miss a beat then, sliding a second finger into you. You cry out, body adjusting to the intrusion. It feels a little sore, but wonderful, having this much of him inside you. It makes you desperate for the sweet ache that must come from losing your virginity, and it makes you wish more than ever that Alucard wasn’t such a gentleman.

Deciding that you’re ready enough, Alucard begins to move his fingers and thumb again, flicking your nipple and kissing his way back to your ear. ‘Such a good girl, so warm and wet for me. I really wish I was inside of you right now. You’d feel so wonderful around me, and I’d make you feel wonderful, too.’ He’s doing a wonderful job of that right now, an orgasm building inside of you more and more with each stroke. It won’t be long until he makes you a trembling mess of pleasure, and you have to think of a way to thank him…

Giving him a firm squeeze again, an idea comes to you. ‘Y-you know what else is warm and wet? My mouth.’ You still haven’t forgotten the temptation to take him in your mouth that you’d had not too long ago, and if he’s in the mood to try new things, now would be the perfect time to bring it up again.

Alucard starts to thrust his hips up into your hand, trying not to let his own movements suffer as a result. ‘Are you suggesting I use that as an alternative?’ His fingers speed up again, just the thought of your mouth on him driving him wild.

If you weren’t half-mad with pleasure, you’d smirk. ‘I’m telling you t-ah!’ The hand that was on your breast grabs a handful of hair, Alucard yanking your body back so far it traps your arm between your bodies so much that you struggle to tease him.

With his personal distraction gone, Alucard focuses on you again, his lips constantly sucking at your neck as a third finger toys with your opening, teasing it slightly as the other two thrust in and out of you with abandon. You practically scream when Alucard strokes you in just the right place, something he chooses to exploit by aiming for it time and again.

After a few more strokes, you feel your orgasm crash over you, your moans echoing around the library as Alucard continues to work you through your peak, wringing every last drop of pleasure from you as you collapse against him, trying to compose yourself as your body settles.

When he’s certain you’re spent, Alucard withdraws his fingers, bringing them to his lips so he can lick them clean. ‘What a pity it would be to waste such sweet nectar. Like the finest of wines, it only seems to get better over time. I’m privileged to be the only one that gets to sample it.’ Only ever him, for as long as you both live. You’re never going to want anyone else to do these things to you.

Sliding off of Alucard’s lap, you turn to face him, hands moving to unbutton his trousers. ‘Your turn, my love.’ Alucard’s eyes widen at that, and you swear they almost fall out when his dick springs free and you lick your lips, ready to taste him.

Alucard’s cheeks begin to flush. ‘You really don’t have to do this. Your hand would be more than enough, if you wanted to reciprocate.’ You’re not about to let him back out of this. If he wants your lips around his cock, he’s got them, because you’re more than willing.

Chewing at your bottom lip, you stare straight at him as one of your hands wraps around his cock, thumb brushing over the liquid forming at the tip. ‘I want to use my mouth. Do you want my mouth?’ You start stroking him slowly, watching his eyes flutter shut as he tries to think of an answer.

After a particularly hard squeeze, Alucard’s head falls back, and he finally answers. ‘I want your mouth. There is only one thing I want more.’ Something he could easily have, if he just asked…

His consent given, you move your hand away, lick the head of his cock, and take him into your mouth with a groan.

Almost immediately, you have to pull back, gagging slightly. Isn’t that how this works? In the few books you’ve read, all a woman has to do is open her mouth and take it. Are you just bad at this?

Noticing your issue, Alucard looks down at you, stroking your hair with one of his hands. ‘You don’t have to take all of me. Take what you can, then wrap your hand around the base.’ Doesn’t that defeat the point of him using your mouth? Will he still enjoy that?

With no experience of your own, you follow Alucard’s advice, taking all that you can of his cock into your mouth before wrapping your hand firmly around the rest.

Alucard’s reaction is instant, the hand once stroking your hair grabbing a fistful of it. ‘That’s it. That’s perfect. Now you just have to mov- Ah!’ Needing no further instruction, you begin to move your head up and down at an even pace, moving your hand with it. Alucard’s breathing is quick to turn to panting, his head lolling back again and his grip on your hair tightening.

As you become more used to the feeling of having Alucard in your mouth, you begin to speed up, drooling slightly as you continue your task. If this is something Alucard enjoys doing, then you’re happy to do this again, relishing the way his cock makes your jaw ache with effort.

After a few moments, Alucard speaks again, his voice a desperate whine that you recognise instantly. ‘You need to pull back. I’m nearly there.’ Does he not want to finish in your mouth, then? It would be less messy then, and it means you would get to take him properly, just as he has tasted you in the past.

Deciding to ignore Alucard’s warning, you speed up, willing him to take the hint and finish in your mouth.

For the first time since you’ve been with him, it becomes clear that Alucard can’t read minds. ‘I’m serious. I can’t… I can’t stop… Oh, fuck!’ With that, Alucard finally finishes in your mouth, and you swallow reflexively, the taste of him bitter, but definitely not unpleasant.

After a few more thrusts, Alucard’s whole body goes slack, and you pull away, smiling in satisfaction. ‘You taste pretty nice yourself, Adrian.’ He opens his arms wide, and you crawl back into his lap, uncaring that you’re both in a state of undress.

Alucard sighs in contentment. ‘You are a marvel, my queen. This isn’t exactly how I planned this, but I can’t say I’m disappointed. In any case, I do hope you like the library.’ Like it? It’s wonderful! A really special place for you to be, either alone or with Alucard.

Snuggling in closer to him, it’s your turn to sigh. ‘It’s perfect.’ Just like your life in general right now, everything here is perfect. The only thing that could make you any happier would be Alucard finally taking your virginity, but from the sound of it, that can’t be too far away.

You just wish you knew what he was waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Try the grey stuff… it’s delicious O.O Don't believe me, ask Alucard ;)
> 
> So sorry again for such a delay. Hopefully with the new schedule in place, we'll be able to get back on track in no time ^.^
> 
> ... There may also be that one thing everyone is waiting for very soon ;)
> 
> For now, thank you for sticking with us, and we hope to see you again on Wednesday ^.^
> 
> P.S. Yes, the clockmaker's name is a reference, but possibly not the one you're expecting O.O
> 
> Update: We haven't felt up to writing the past week, I can't guarantee there will be a new chapter this week. But I have updated the A/Ns, our new posting days will be Hump Day aka Wednesdays~! So see you guys on the next update!


	41. The Winds Of Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> Sorry we're a little late with this one; more scheduling issues and the like. However, we're here now, and we come bearing a gift; a new OC O.O
> 
> So for now, enjoy ;3

In the three weeks since Alucard presented you with the library, you’ve found yourself fixated on a single goal; convincing Alucard to take your virginity.

Part of you is surprised it’s taken so long. It’s so clear that Alucard wants more than you’ve been giving him, and you’ve done nothing to discourage that. In fact, you’ve done the opposite. Every time things have gotten intimate between you, you’ve offered to take things all the way, but the man is always adamant that the timing isn’t right.

It’s been quite frustrating, really. You want him, and unless you’re mistaken, he’s chomping at the bit to take you. What is he waiting for? Why is the timing not right? Is there a specific date he has in mind for your first time together? 

You’ve asked him that a few times, but you’ve been met only with the vaguest of answers, and a full list of alternative sexual acts you can do instead. As much as you thoroughly enjoy those options, they all pale in comparison to the one thing you’re craving more than anything; the feeling of Alucard inside you.

It doesn’t look like it’ll be happening today either, as you’re both due to head into town together. Apparently, Alucard is going off to look for something he needs to repair the castle, so he plans to leave you in Sylvia’s shop in an effort not to bore you. As much as you’d insisted that looking at parts with him wouldn’t have bored you, you’re actually glad you’ll get the chance to see the seamstress again, even if you’ll undoubtedly be bombarded with options for new dresses that Alucard will insist on having her make for you.

For now, you’re getting ready to do the one thing Alucard is still utterly insistent on; morning affirmations in front of the mirror.

At this point, you’ve called yourself beautiful so many times you’re worried that the word will start to lose all meaning. Alucard is proving himself to be a very patient man indeed, always willing to stand beside you as you utter the words to your reflection, no matter how much time your reluctance forces you to take. He also rewards you with kisses, so that alone is reason enough to keep going through with the experience. Normally, you’d do it in your nightgown or underwear, but today, you have something else in mind, something the man currently staring at your silent reflection is unaware of.

Said reflection frowns, Alucard’s lips teetering on the edge of a pout. ‘Are you going to keep me waiting all morning? I would rather not delay our trip into town, but I’m willing to wait as long as I have to for you to admit your beauty.’ Always so determined to boost your confidence, even if there is little to boost in the first place. Something to add to the endless list of reasons why you’re hopelessly in love with him.

Staring at your nightgown in the mirror, you frown, pretending to think. ‘It just doesn’t feel right this morning. I’m feeling… overdressed.’ You notice Alucard’s eyes growing wide as you slide your nightgown off, shivering slightly as the cool air of the room hits your bare flesh.

Alucard scrutinises your newly-revealed flesh, his trembling hands coming to rest on your hips. ‘You’ll get cold if you stay like this for too long. At least with your beauty on full display like this, you should find it easier to appreciate yourself. Now, tell yourself how beautiful you are.’ If you were to lean back against Alucard right now, you’re willing to bet you’d make contact with something solid, and you’re not thinking of his chest muscles…

Placing your hands over his, you slide them over your body until they cup your breasts, before encouraging him to squeeze them. ‘You’re right, Adrian. I am beautiful. I’m also all yours, for as long as you want, and to do whatever you want to. Maybe we should both stay home today so I can prove that?’ Confident that he won’t move his hands away, you slip one of yours behind you to cup his crotch, delighted when you find him just as hard as you’d anticipated.

For a moment, it looks as if Alucard is about to pounce on you, before he regains his sense of clarity and takes a step back, releasing your breasts in the process. ‘Good. I shall leave you to get dressed, then. We should leave as soon as we can.’ He’s going to leave you just like that? He doesn’t even want to give you a good grope like he normally does?

You’re about to question him, but Alucard disappears before you get the chance, his footsteps only emphasising just how hasty his retreat was.

Alone and naked like this, you could cry. Why does he keep walking away from you every time you suggest sex? Is it everything that happened with Taka and Sumi? The fact that the two of you share any intimacy at all proves that he’s making progress, but is it still holding him back? If that’s the case, why isn’t he speaking to you about it? If there’s a problem like this that’s hurting him, you need to know so you can help him. How can you help him if you’re not certain what the problem is? 

Another option of course is that he just isn’t all that interested in penetration. He keeps speaking as if he wants to, but if he really did, he would have surely just taken you already, given how many clear signs you’ve been giving him. His constantly saying that the timing isn’t right could just be a delaying tactic, one to keep you by his side until he can fully explain himself.

The final sad truth is that he might not even be that attracted to you. Sure, the sex that you do have is always so perfect, and he’s so attentive, but is that just an act? Is he going through the motions with you because he doesn’t want to admit that for all you’ve been telling yourself in the mirror for months, you’re not actually beautiful at all. Maybe he’s just afraid of breaking your heart with the truth, after all that you’ve done to try and heal his…

As much as you’d like to stand about and cry about the fact that either Alucard’s heart is breaking over the past, or that he plans to break yours in the future, you can’t stand around naked forever. You need to get dressed and go into town. A chat with Sylvia usually does a lot to help you figure things out, so there’s a chance she’ll have suggestions you’ve not even considered.

Selecting a modest set of underthings and one of your simpler dresses, you get ready for the day ahead, hoping that the daylight might shed some answers on your current predicament.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The walk to town seems to take far longer than usual, although that could largely be down to Alucard’s apparent reluctance to engage you in conversation. More than once now you’ve tried to get some kind of back-and-forth going, only for him to answer in short sentences that brooked no further discussion, or to change the subject completely. To say it’s frustrating is an understatement, and it does little to ease your worries from the mirror.

At least you’re almost at Sylvia’s shop now. That’s something positive to come out of this morning.

Alucard also seems to realise how close you are to your destination, his eyes doing an obvious sweep over the rest of the shops in town. ‘Here we are, then. I’ll say good morning to Sylvia, but then I really need to be off. Are you going to be okay on your own for a little while?’ While he does have every reason to be concerned about you given your past experiences, you’re not sure what he’s so worried about this time; it’s not like you’re going to be completely alone.

You wave a hand dismissively. ‘I’ll be fine, Ad- Genya. I like Sylvia, and I’m sure she’ll have plenty of things to keep my mind occupied. Speaking of which…’ You gesture to the basket in one of Alucard’s hands, currently empty. ‘Will you be using the whole basket? It’s just that Sylvia should have finished with the adjustments to the older dresses now, and it would be nice to take them home…’ As strange as it’ll be, wearing clothes with a familiar feel but a foreign fit.

Alucard smiles. ‘Of course. You know I’d never deprive you of anything. Not if I can help it.’ He’s proved that on more than one occasion, and often to your great surprise and embarrassment…

Content that there is nothing more to say, Alucard opens the door to Sylvia’s shop before gesturing you inside, acting every bit the gentleman as he usually does.

You’re not at all surprised when Sylvia walks straight over to you, her mouth wide as she grins. ‘A pleasure to see you again, Mrs. Arikado. Have you come to pick up your order? I have some help in the shop today, so if you give me two seconds, I can have it brought right out to us.’ Sylvia has an assistant? Since when? The few times you’ve visited, you’ve not really seen another living soul, save for the occasional customer. Is it one of her children, come to learn their mother’s trade?

Before you can answer, Alucard beats you to it. ‘Actually Sylvia, I was wondering if you could keep my wife distracted for a little while while I run an errand. It shouldn’t take me too long, but I dare say I’ll be gone long enough for her to pick out a few things.’ There he goes again, so willing to nudge you into spending his money on clothes you don’t need.

Sylvia looks at Alucard for a moment, before something flashes in her eyes. ‘Ah, of course! You must be…’ She pauses for a moment, her cheeks growing slightly pink. ‘I mean, yes, of course I’ll amuse your wife for a while. She’s in perfectly safe hands. Isn’t that right, dear?’ The only hands you’d ever consider truly safe would be Alucard’s, but if you had to pick a second pair, it would most certainly be hers.

Instead of answering Sylvia, you instead turn to Alucard, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘Take as long as you need to, my love. I’ll be here waiting.’ And talking about your problems to Sylvia, but he’s probably better off not knowing that.

Alucard nods. ‘I look forward to seeing what you order. For now, I really must leave.’ He turns and walks straight out of the door then, leaving you and Sylvia alone together.

After a few moments, Sylvia claps her hands together. ‘Right then, what shall we do today? I know you weren’t interested in the fancier dresses on your first visit here, but perhaps you’d like to look today? Oh, but before that, I imagine you want to see your old dresses!’ She turns her head away from you then, and shouts towards a door at the back of the shop. ‘Seth? Could you fetch me the Arikado order please?’ Ah, so her assistant must be one of her sons! How old is he? Sylvia herself doesn’t look old enough to have children your age, but looks can be very deceiving…

After a few moments of waiting, a figure appears at the door, a few bundles of cloth in his arms. ‘Here you go, Auntie Sylvia. Oh, hello.’ As the figure steps closer to you, you’re able to make out some of his features, and you’re almost taken aback by what you see; he’s not quite what you were expecting.

For one thing, he’s a far cry from the child, or possibly teenager, that you had imagined. While it’s true that he’s quite slight in terms of build, it’s clear that he’s a grown man, mid twenties if you had to take a guess. His blonde hair sticks messily to his head, as if he’s recently been woken from sleep, and his brown eyes are rich and warm. You’d almost say he’s handsome, if Alucard’s own intense beauty did not spoil the word completely.

It occurs to you that you’re staring, so you try to snap yourself out of it. ‘Good morning. I’m Mrs. Aluc- Arikado. Is that my order?’ Obviously it is. He just said that it is. You really need to pull yourself together…

Seth nods. ‘Sure is. I’ll just plop it down on the counter for now I think. I imagine my aunt is eager to show you some of her designs, so the last thing you want is to be dragging these around the shop.’ You watch as Seth does just that, setting the pile neatly down onto the counter. Now that you’re looking at it, the size of the pile seems a little… off. Too big, considering you don’t recall giving her that many things to adjust.

If Sylvia notices your surprise, she brushes it off. ‘So then, dresses? Or would you like to try on something spicier?’ You notice that Seth’s cheeks grow pink at that, probably from the embarrassment of picturing you in your underwear!

Dismissing that mental image, you decide to get straight to the point. ‘Actually Sylvia, I was hoping you could give me some advice.’ Is it too much to ask her, considering you don’t really know her all that well? Then again, considering she usually gives you advice whether you want it or not…

Sylvia hums. ‘Of course, dear. Could you leave us alone for a moment, Seth? I sense this is a conversation Mrs. Arikado would rather have in private.’ You haven’t even considered that, but she’s right; you’d rather Seth didn’t hear this, being a total stranger and all.

Seth nods. ‘Sure. Just shout if you need anything, Auntie S.’ He gives you and Sylvia a wide smile before disappearing through the same door he’d entered in just moments ago.

With Seth gone, Sylvia’s own smile turns sympathetic. ‘What’s troubling you, dear? You haven’t had a falling out with your husband, have you?’ Oh, but she doesn’t know that half of it. How angry would Alucard be if you came clean about your real relationship status? How angry would Sylvia be for that matter? 

Deciding against that, you sigh. ‘Yeah, we did. It wasn’t a big one or anything! In fact, I’m not even sure if it counts as a falling out or just… I’m sorry, it’s just hard to talk about these things. He’s my first love, so I don’t really have much experience with this.’ Other than what you’ve gained just by being with Alucard, but even that doesn’t seem like enough in your current predicament.

Sylvia puts a hand on your shoulder gently. ‘It’s okay, dear. You can tell me as much or as little as you like. I’m just here to help, okay?’ What is it about her that always seems to put you at ease so easily?

A little more confident now, you search for the words again. ‘So, for a long while now, my relationship has been wonderful. Genya is very… attentive, in a certain area, but no matter how much I ask him… I’m still a virgin, Sylvia. He refuses to cross that line with me, and now I’m beginning to wonder if it’s his past experiences, or if there’s something wrong with me, or…’ You have to take a deep breath then, trying to stop the tears threatening to spill over at your confession.

The hand on your shoulder starts stroking you gently, like a mother trying to comfort a child. ‘It’s not you, dear. I can promise you that much. Eyes don’t tell lies, and every time I see Mr. Arikado, I see how much he loves you. What does he tell you, when he refuses to make love?’

You think back for a moment before answering. ‘He keeps telling me to wait, that the timing isn’t right. I just wish I knew what he was waiting for, or if it’s just an excuse to stop us from making love. Part of me is worried that he’s going to leave me, and the reason he’s not wanting to make love to me is because he doesn’t want to ruin me for ma-‘ Oh dear. You probably shouldn’t have mentioned that. Maybe now would be a good time to backtrack?

Sylvia shakes her head dismissively. ‘That isn’t it at all, and I can promise you that. Alucard doesn’t strike me as someone who makes idle excuses. If he’s telling you the timing isn’t right, it’s because he’s planning something. He wants to make your first time special, and I think you should trust him to do that. Be patient with him, and I think you’ll get the answers you seek.’ She’s right. You should trust Alucard. He’s never lead you as-

Wait, did she just call him ‘Alucard’?!

Noticing your surprise, Sylvia chuckles. ‘I had a feeling something was a little off. Alucard came here and told me himself the truth of your situation. It doesn’t bother me, dear. I’m not some prude that thinks the bedroom is a sacred place that only married couples should enter. In fact, by the time my husband got me down the aisle, I was the size of a small house! Love is a wonderful thing, and there’s little harm in embracing it. In fact, I think I know how to put your mind at ease. Seth?’ She calls out for her nephew again, who dutifully appears at the door just a few moments later.

Adjusting you slightly so you’re both facing Seth, Sylvia gestures to your body. ‘Seth, you’re a young gentleman of the world. Do you think Mrs Arikado is pretty?’ Ah, so she’s the only one Alucard has told the truth? You’ll have to ask him about that later…

Seth studies you for a few moments, before nodding firmly. ‘She certainly is. Her husband is a very lucky man indeed to have such a beautiful wife.’ You blush at that, and Seth’s eyes light up. ‘Oh, and look at that sweet little blush. Yep, her husband is definitely a very lucky man indeed. I’m almost jealous.’ For some reason, being complimented by a stranger hits differently than being complimented by Alucard. Maybe it’s because you’re used to his compliments by now? 

In any case, Seth comments do help you feel better. ‘Thank you. That’s very sweet of you to say. I think I’m ready to look at dresses now, if that’s okay?’ Maybe even the fancy ones, as undeserving as you feel of them…

Sylvia shakes her head. ‘Nope. We’re past that now. You and I are going to design underwear so ludicrously indecent that your husband forgets his excuses and takes you straight to bed.’ Well, if Seth’s comments didn’t make you bright red, Sylvia has surely tipped the balance herself!

Seth, still listening to the conversation, gasps. ‘Wait, so you haven’t consummated your marriage yet? That’s insane! If you were my wife, I’d make sweet love to you every night!’ Seth claps his hands over his mouth as his whole face burns crimson, knowing full-well he’s crossed the line with that last comment.

Still, it doesn’t phase Sylvia in the slightest. ‘I’m certain Mr. Arikado feels the same way. He’s just being patient. However, all patience has its limits, and I’m about to break it in two. Well, we are.’ She winks at you then before whisking you off to the fitting room, no doubt keen to show you exactly what she can dream up.

Whatever she designs, you hope it works; making love to Alucard is the one thing in the world you want more than anything.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It has to be tomorrow. Alucard can’t wait any longer.

He’s honestly amazed at himself for lasting as long as he has, especially after this morning. That stunt in front of the mirror must surely count as an attempt on his life, because what she said almost killed him. His woman, his to do anything he wants…

The small box in his basket is beginning to feel like lead. Hopefully marriage falls into that, but given that she was stark naked and encouraging him to explore her body, marriage probably wasn’t on her mind when she made that suggestion.

In a way, Alucard regrets waiting like this, but it’s the right thing to do. Her first time is going to be special even if it kills him. He knows all-too-well what it is to waste your first time making love, and he wants better for her. At the very least, he’ll feel better doing it with her once the ring is on her finger, a physical reminder that they will be together for life. That should reassure her that he is not making love with her because he wants sex, but because he loves her. He wants to make love to her, and in his mind, promising to marry her at the very least is an important step.

For now, he needs a way to hide the ring box. He had considered placing it in his jacket, but her recent actions have him worried. What if she tries to seduce him again? She’ll be there rubbing herself against him, getting in so close that of course she’ll feel the hard box in his pocket. She’ll get curious, ask him about it, and then his plan to propose is over. He can’t allow that to happen. Everything will be perfect for her. She deserves nothing less. A perfect proposal, followed by perfect lovemaking, and a perfect wedding to start their perfect life together. Everything will be perfect.

He just needs to hide the ring.

Thankfully, his own specifications have served him well. When he made the request for the ring, he was also very specific on the kind of box he wanted; he wanted it to look as much like an apple as possible, a symbol of the first time they met. While the box isn’t the exact shape, colour, or texture at an apple, it should fool her at a glance unless she gets too close. He’ll just be certain to bury it at the bottom, and hope the smell of the apples doesn’t ruin the box too much. 

Walking up to the merchant he’s purchased apples from many times before, Alucard smiles. ‘Good morning. A few dozen apples, please. My wife is planning to make a few things with, apparently.’ In truth, she probably will, if she doesn’t eat them all first. She does seem to have a fondness for the sweet fruit, especially if they’re dipped in even sweeter honey…

The merchant smiles. ‘Of course, Mr. Arikado. You got mighty lucky, finding a wife that’s both pretty and loves baking. My wife isn’t either of those things!’ It always makes Alucard sad, hearing the way some men talk about the women in their lives. Why marry at all if you’re not in love? There is little point in settling just for the sake of it. At least he knows he’s not going to do that. He’s going to give his wife all the love in the world, and nothing will ever change that.

As the merchant begins to load up the basket with apples, Alucard spots a flash of movement from his side; a small child? A little girl he thinks, but it’s hard to tell with all that dirt on her. Is she here to buy things for her family?

In an instant, one of her tiny hands dips into his basket, picking out an apple before running as fast as her little legs can carry her. Another little thief has crossed his path, then? No matter. It’s not as if he actually needs these apples. If she’d only asked, he’d have happily purchased a few for her.

Alucard is dragged from his thoughts by the merchant. ‘Um, Mr. Arikado, sir? Didn’t you already have something in this basket?’ Is he now hesitant to ruin it with produce? It seems a little late for that, with the two dozen apples already in-

Hang on. If Alucard is correct, there are exactly two dozen apples in the basket, but nothing else.

Frantic, Alucard searches the basket, only for his worst fear to be realised; the ring is gone. The child must have grabbed it, by either accident or design. Fuck, what does he do now? Has she gotten far?

Trying not to seem as flustered as he is, Alucard gives the man his coin. ‘I seem to have misplaced it. I suppose I’ll have to look for it.’ As subtly as he can, he takes in a deep breath, relieved when he catches the thief’s scent. She hasn’t gone far; she’s hiding in a nearby alleyway.

Grabbing his basket, Alucard hurries after the thief, hoping that she’ll surrender the ring without a fuss. If it is food she was after, perhaps she’d swap it for some apples? In fact, she can take them all if she really wants; he just needs that ring back!

As he approaches the alleyway, Alucard hears a small voice echoing off the stone walls surrounding it. ‘Oh no. What have I done? If he finds me, he’s going to hurt me. Oh no, no, no, no…’ Ah, an accident, then? What is it his wife used to say about stealing valuables? Never steal anything worth money, because people will hurt you over it. It seems as if this child really was after an apple, after all.

Good. It should make retrieving it a lot easier.

Trying not to startle the poor girl, Alucard clears his throat before approaching her. ‘Young lady? I believe you have something of mine.’ The frightened squeal that leaves her tiny mouth makes Alucard’s heart break. Now that he’s getting a proper look at her, he’s quite certain that it is indeed a little girl, about eight if he had to guess. Her matted brown hair hides one of her blue eyes, and her clothes seem to hang off her far too much, even if they do show recent signs of repair. That’s something, at least. If her clothes are being mended, it means she’s not an orphan like his love is.

The second she looks at Alucard, the little girl begins to shake, tears welling in her eyes. ‘Please sir, don’t hurt me. I didn’t mean to steal it. I’m just hungry. I wanted an apple. I’ll give it back if you don’t hurt me.’ It’s clear she’s not done anything like this before; if she was more experienced, she would know that there’s no guarantee Alucard won’t hit her the moment he has his property back.

Fortunately for her, Alucard would never harm a child like that. ‘How about a trade then, little one? I’ll put my basket done, you can take a few apples, then leave the ring on top? Just like this, see?’ He places the basket on the ground between them, taking a few steps back to try and put the girl at ease.

The little girl hesitates for a second before stepping forwards, her eyes never leaving Alucard as she picks up an apple and places the ring on top of the pile.

As she backs away with her intended prize, Alucard smiles softly. ‘You can take more than one, if you’re hungry. I have plenty.’ The poor thing looks like she’s going to run away, but to Alucard’s surprise, she steps forwards again, picking up a few apples and placing them in pockets on the front of her dress.

When she backs away again, the tears are no longer in her eyes. ‘Thank you. I’m really sorry I took your box. I never would have taken anything from you if I knew you’d be so nice to me.’ Seeing her looking up at him like this, half-starved and covered in filth, he can’t help but think of his lover. Is this how she spent her childhood, too? Stealing items from people while their backs are turned, fearing a beating after every heist? 

Alucard frowns gently. ‘Not everyone you take from will be as nice as me. You have to be careful, okay? At least you won’t be as hungry now. How many did you take?’ Not that it matters, really. There seems to be enough left to hide the ring.

The little girl pulls all the apples out, showing them to Alucard. ‘This many, sir. Is that okay?’ The apples seem too big in her tiny little hands; it’s amazing she can hold them all at once.

Alucard nods. ‘Ah, you took five. That’s fine.’ A little under a quarter of them. Still plenty of apples left.

Staring at the apples, the little girl frowns. ‘What does that mean?’ Other than her taking a nice little selection, nothing really.

Still, Alucard can’t exactly say that. ‘That’s how many you took. Five.’ 

The little girl’s eyes grow wide. ‘Wow. Five many! This is the most I think I’ve ever had! Is it really okay?’ Is she really trying to talk him out of giving? She really is similar to the other thief in his life…

Picking his basket back up, Alucard grabs the ring box, showing it to the little girl. ‘What’s in this box is going to bring me more happiness than I ever thought imaginable. There’s a ring inside you see, and I’m going to give it to the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met. If she says she’ll wear it, that means that she’ll be my wife, and then I’ll have everything I could ever want. So yes, in exchange for this ring, five apples is okay. Really, it isn’t enough, but considering you made off with the ring in the first place, I think it’s a fair price.’ It’ll keep her from starving for a few days at the very least; that has to be worth something.

The little girl smiles widely at Alucard. ‘Wow, she must be really lucky if she’s marrying someone as kind as you! I need to go now, sir. Thank you for the apples!’ She shoves the apples in her pockets and makes to leave, before pausing for a moment. ‘My name is Miriam by the way. It was nice to meet you!’ Alucard is quite sure that she means that, considering she’s walking away with apples rather than the bruises she was anticipating.

Alucard waves at her. ‘Be safe, Miriam.’ The girl grins and waves back, before scampering away, probably going home to tell her parents what had happened.

After what just happened, Alucard decides to check the contents of the box, just to be certain. He’s ashamed of himself for sighing in relief when he sees the ring still comfortably nestled in there, waiting for the day he slips it onto his lover’s finger. It’ll look so pretty on her, but it will always pale in comparison to the beauty of its wearer.

Speaking of, it is time for him to return to her. 

Cursing himself for the delay, Alucard hides the ring box underneath the remaining apples, hurrying to Sylvia’s shop. Hopefully she’s not feeling too neglected by his absence, but at least she is in safe hands; hopefully Sylvia has convinced her to spoil herself.

Just before he enters the shop, Alucard pauses, taking a moment to appreciate the sounds of laughter from within. He loves hearing that little laugh. For someone who lived such a miserable life, her laugh is always so full of unbridled joy that it makes his heart soar. She’ll never be miserable again, for as long as she is by his side.

Another laugh rips Alucard from his thoughts; that second laugh is far too masculine to be Sylvia’s.

Irrational jealousy builds in Alucard’s chest. Another man is laughing and joking with his lover? Who is he? Is he just being friendly, or is there another motive? If he thinks he can steal her away…

… Then he might be right. 

Thinking back to the girl in the alleyway, a cold reminder hits Alucard; for all the things he can give her, he still can’t give her everything. He’s not human. She said that she was fine never having children, but what happens if she changes her mind? That’s something he’ll never be able to give her, no matter how much he wants to. She wouldn’t have that issue with a human man. He could give her everything in life that matters. Love, kindness, family… while Alucard can offer the first two in spades, he can’t give her that last one. All he has is money, and that’s a poor substitute. 

Maybe marrying her would be cruel, in a way. After all, she can’t be certain that she doesn’t want a family ever, because she’s never had that option before. If someone gave it to her, and she wanted to take it, she couldn’t if she was married to him. Maybe he should let her live her life first, make sure she knows what she wants, before he takes that away from her…

Her voice cuts through his melancholy. ‘My husband is a hopeless romantic. For our very first date, he filled my room with flowers as I slept! It was like I’d fallen asleep in a meadow! I already knew that I loved him long before then, but seeing all the ways that he loves me reminds me just how much I want to spend the rest of my days by his side.’ A tear trickles down Alucard’s cheek, warm against his skin. Why is he standing here wallowing in self-doubt? He’s known for a long time that he wants to marry her, and she’s always telling him that she’ll never leave his side. While those human wants and desires of hers may surface in the future, he’s willing to face them as and when they arrive. For now, he’s quite certain that getting married is something they both want, and he’s going to make it happen in spectacular fashion! 

In the meantime, he just needs to keep his composure. He has everything he needs to make this proposal special, and he’s not about to mess it up.

He’s going to give her a wedding proposal she’ll never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for being so patient. All being well, we shall see you again next Wednesday ^.^


	42. Push His Buttons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> In a change to the original plan (because one of us has been a bit under the weather, so we wanted to wait until that passed to write the big event), have some further shenanigans at the shop :3 
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

You’re almost a little sad when Alucard walks into Sylvia’s shop.

It’s not that you haven’t missed him; there’s seldom ever a moment where you don’t miss him, when the two of you are together. No, it’s more the fact that somehow, Sylvia and Seth have managed to turn your regrettable morning into one of the best you’ve ever had.

Once again, Sylvia has proven herself to be a wonderful friend. Her advice never fails to put you totally at ease, and her actions in response to you confessing your fears had gone a long way to distract you from your woes.

After her bold declaration that she could break Alucard’s patience, Sylvia had taken you off into the fitting rooms, grinning wickedly as she’d shown you a roll of black fabric, thin enough that you could see the outside of her hand through it. ‘As we’ve tried just about everything else, I say we try something truly scandalous. Are you in, my dear?’ Her enthusiasm had proven to be infectious, and you’d allowed yourself to be swept along by it, curious to see where it was going to take you both.

As it turns out, it had taken you down a direction that involved standing stark naked in her shop, watching in the mirror as Sylvia treated you like a living mannequin. Considering how long you usually wait between visits, you’d been surprised at how quickly Sylvia had created her new design; then again, considering that it consists of very little fabric, perhaps you shouldn’t be that shocked.

Throughout the process, the two of you had talked freely with Seth, who had remained firmly outside the room at all times to preserve your modesty. Apparently, the reason you’ve never seen him before is that he only moved to the village recently, to be closer to his family. Sylvia had naturally gushed over him the entire time, practically singing about what a hardworking man he is. Even though you’ve not known the man for long, you’d pictured him blushing during her praising, with a wide grin spread over his face.

After finishing your underwear, Sylvia had told you to put your dress back on, packaging up your old underwear before finally showing you the ballgowns. Seth had decided to join the two of you, the topic of your conversation turning from fashion advice to romantic history very quickly.

Even if you don’t know Seth too well, you'd have been more than happy to give him a few details; to be specific, you’d told him about the morning Alucard had filled your room with flowers, and just how helplessly you’d fallen for him.

As if on queue, the door had opened, revealing the very man you’d just been talking about.

Despite your slight disappointment, you smile, Alucard’s face always a welcome sight. ‘My love. Did you get the part you needed?’ Casting a brief glance to his basket, you see only… apples? Surely that’s not the reason you came into town?

Alucard sighs. ‘Unfortunately not. I searched everywhere, but no joy. Have you had a nice day, at least?’ As he speaks, Alucard walks closer to you, completely ignoring Seth as he comes to a stop between you and Sylvia’s young assistant.

From behind Alucard, Seth speaks. ‘I think we’ve taken good care of your wife, Mr Arikado. Isn’t that right, Auntie S?’ Seth leans his body to one side so he can talk to Sylvia directly, Alucard’s body blocking his view completely.

Looking around, you see Sylvia nod, but her smile seems to have faltered slightly. ‘I always do. I’m afraid I need to borrow you for a moment though Mr Arikado, if that’s okay? It’s about the deposit you made for the dress adjustments.’ Oh, did he not give her enough? That’s not like Alucard at all. He seems to have a habit of overpaying people, if your quick calculations are correct.

Alucard frowns. ‘Oh dear. I hate to think that I’ve left you out of pocket for your past work. We should rectify this immediately. How much do I owe you?’ However much it is, you hope Alucard has money left on him to pay for it; there’s a lot of apples in that basket!

Sylvia waves a hand dismissively. ‘I dare not say it outloud, for the sake of your privacy. Come, your wife will be fine with Seth for a few moments while we clear things up.’ She gestures Alucard over, only for his body to tense up, his free hand settling on your waist as he continues to block Seth from view. Is he… did he really miss you so much that he doesn’t want to leave your side for a single second?

Leaning up, you give Alucard a quick kiss on the cheek. ‘Go and sort things out with Sylvia, my love. Then we can spend the rest of the day together.’ Preferably making love, but after this morning, that seems like a faint hope indeed…

Reluctantly, Alucard takes his hand away from you, before turning around to face Seth. ‘If my wife is anything less than fine when I return, you and I will have a problem. Am I quite clear?’ Why is Alucard acting so strangely? Does he think Seth is like that man from the baker’s?

Seth chuckles nervously. ‘It’s not like she can really hurt herself in here, unless Auntie S has left a stray pin in one of the dresses. She’s in perfectly safe hands.’ You notice one of Alucard’s fists clench at that, but he eventually walks away, flashing you a tense smile before Sylvia takes him away to the back of the shop.

Alone with just Seth, you smile sympathetically. ‘Sorry. He’s just very protective of me. I almost died once, so he worries a lot. He really is a lovely person.’ If you didn’t know better, you’d say he was jealous, but why would he be? You’re his mistress, so you’re not likely to run away with another man! It has to be his overprotective side speaking for him. Maybe not being able to find his part has put him in a bad mood?

Seth shakes his head. ‘It’s not a problem. I’ve had worse threats in my life. So, have you decided on a dress yet? I think you’d look really cute in this light blue one.’ He pulls out a dress, and you smile, admiring it for a moment. You can’t deny that Seth has good taste; you’re certain you’d look quite lovely in it. That, and you’d be less afraid to wear it, the colour of it not as significant to you as the dress that reminds you so much of Alucard’s hair. No, you’ve never met anyone with light blue hair, so you’d not feel bad about getting it dirty.

You just hope Alucard can sort out Sylvia’s payment issue, or else you won’t be ordering anything else in a hurry.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Despite hearing his lover telling Seth how deep her love runs, Alucard still found it hard to control his jealous side when he saw her standing so close to the other man.

Sure, they were only talking, but if he’d had a mind to, Seth could have easily reached out to touch her! Not that Sylvia would allow the woman he intends to marry to be manhandled in her shop, but still, Alucard had felt the need to subtly place himself between the two of them just in case. 

Well, maybe subtle is the wrong word. Alucard would almost be disappointed if Seth doesn’t interpret his action as an implicit threat.

If he had been left to his own devices, Alucard would have happily left the shop right then and there, taking her away from his potential love rival. What has he been saying while Alucard has been chasing the ring? Has he been trying to woo her?

Trailing behind Sylvia, Alucard internally curses his own behaviour. He can’t act this way every time his future wife talks to another man. He had no issue leaving her alone with the merchant the day he snuck off to buy her a necklace. Then again, the merchant is neither charming nor handsome, two qualities Seth isn’t lacking. Still, if he’s working with Sylvia, he must surely know that she is taken, and surely a man with such desirable qualities would not waste time chasing a woman that is already wed? To his knowledge, at least; Alucard doubts that Sylvia has exposed his secret to anyone, including the man currently chatting away to his soon-to-be fiancée.

Alucard is drawn from his thoughts when Sylvia suddenly stops walking, and turns to look at him with a worried frown on her face. ‘You have a problem, Alucard. A serious one.’ Ah, so this isn’t about money? He did have his suspicions. Not once has he ever underpaid a soul.

Frowning right back, Alucard nods. ‘Alright. What’s wrong?’ Has she discovered something about his lover that has her concerned? Maybe she’s been talking poorly of herself once again?

Sylvia folds her arms, scowling at him. ‘She thinks you don’t find her attractive anymore because you keep putting off making love.’ What?! But that’s insanity! How could she even think that?!

Glancing back at his lover to make sure she’s not listening, Alucard whispers carefully. ‘Nothing could possibly be further from the truth. The only reason I’ve been delaying it is because I intend to marry her. You know this.’ He’s pretty sure he made his intentions perfectly clear before, and Sylvia is smart enough to read between the lines.

Sylvia sighs, her hushed tone mirroring his own. ‘I do, but she doesn’t. She thinks you don’t want her, and it’s breaking her heart. I don’t think she’s even considered the fact that you might be waiting for marriage. Whatever you’re planning, you need to act quickly, if for no other reason than her happiness.’ Alucard’s heart sinks, his whole body feeling heavy with remorse. How many times has he rejected her advances over the last few weeks? While it’s true that they’ve made love in so many other ways, he always rejects her whenever she asks him to take her virginity. Has she taken each rejection to heart? If he only knew how she felt, he would have offered her clarification, despite it taking away the planned surprise of his gesture. Instead, his actions seem to be without any reason, save for the one that she herself has invented.

A few tears threaten to spill over as Alucard takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. ‘Thank you for telling me this. I don’t intend to keep her waiting any longer. I was planning to propose tomorrow, but if she is really suffering…’ He can still make this work. He’ll just have to improvise slightly. There is still a way to make this perfect for her!

Despite the heavy tone of the conversation, Sylvia laughs softly. ‘You really are a hopeless romantic, Mr Tepes. You know, marriage really isn’t everything. You don’t need to put a ring on her finger for her to know that you love her, and you certainly don’t need to put a ring on her finger to make love to her. You could go up to her right now and tell her that you never plan to marry her, and I bet you everything I have that she wouldn’t care. All she wants is for you to love her, just as much as she loves you. If both of you are ready to express that love physically, then why wait? All you’re doing is depriving her and yourself of that final level of intimacy, and for what? A single piece of jewellery. She loves you with or without that ring, so what does it matter when you give it to her? If you were to make love tonight, and ask her to be your wife in the morning, she’d be just as likely to say yes as she would if the two acts were reversed. So stop worrying and get on with it. You’ll both feel better once you know where you stand.’ She’s right. He’s a fool. All this talk of perfection is pointless. How could asking her to marry him not be perfect? How could making love to her not be perfect? It’s her, and it’s him, and it’s love… isn’t that a kind of perfection?

His spirits lifted, Alucard finally finds it in him to smile. ‘Thank you. You’ve made me realise something important. I think she and I have waited far too long for our happy ending. I’m not going to wait any longer.’ Today. It happens today. There’s a place they can go, just the two of them, and he can ask her there. Then he can whisk her back to their castle, make her a beautiful dinner, and make love to her like she deserves, if he hasn’t already ruined all chances of that happening.

Sylvia sighs. ‘You’re almost right, but this isn’t your happy ending. This is only the beginning.’ Right again. It’s far from the end. They still have countless years together, and he intends to make every last moment perfect. 

However, Sylvia’s statement does have him thinking back to his earlier adventure. ‘Truthfully, we almost didn’t have a beginning. The reason I’m so delayed coming back is that my ring was snatched as I purchased some apples.’ A tale he’ll have to tell his future wife at some point, once her intended elation has faded. 

Sylvia’s brow furrows. ‘I know this is a bit of a wild guess, but it wasn’t a little girl that stole it, was it? About this high, messy brown hair…’ She sticks her hand out to indicate height, and Alucard’s eyes grow wide; how does she know? 

Still a little surprised, Alucard nods. ‘Yes. She said her name was Miriam if that helps. Is she one of yours?’ That wouldn’t be too much of a stretch. Sylvia is very open about the fact that she has a lot of children, and if she’s concerned about this one child in particular, it seems likely that there’s a connection.

Shaking her head, the corners of Sylvia’s mouth turn down slightly. ‘That’s the girl I’m thinking of, but she isn’t one of mine. You didn’t… I don’t mean to make accusations, but you didn’t hurt her did you, to get the ring back?’ He would never! What kind of monster does he take her for?

Trying his best not to be offended by her question, Alucard scowls. ‘Of course not! I traded her a few apples for it, then she ran away.’ Off to her house probably, to give the spare apples to her family.

Sylvia sighs. ‘Thank goodness. Sorry, I didn’t mean to think so little of you, but I do worry for her. She’s such a sweet little girl. She comes in sometimes to help me organise my buttons. Sorry again for the misunderstanding.’ Ah, so it seems as if Sylvia has another, lesser known apprentice too? Alucard is hardly surprised. With a heart as big as hers, it’s no wonder the little girl would rather spend time with her rather than sitting and starving at home…

Their conversation concluded, Alucard and Sylvia begin walking back to his lover and Seth, a smile forming on his face as he watches her gleefully admire a dress. The colour of it seems almost familiar somehow, but he isn’t quite sure why…

Also spotting his lover’s enthusiasm, Sylvia is quick to head over, her usual warm smile back where it belongs. ‘Oh sweetie, you’d look gorgeous in this! What do you think, Mr Arikado?’ All three of them look at Alucard with wide eyes, and he almost wants to laugh; as if he’s going to deny his lover anything.

Alucard nods in approval. ‘I couldn’t agree more. Add the cost to whatever else my wife has purchased today.’ He hopes it’s a lot. She’s going to be the official lady of the castle if he has his way, and that title should come with a ludicrously-sized wardrobe!

Sylvia nods. ‘That’s actually the only thing your wife has purchased today. I must be losing my touch.’ For a moment, it seems as if his lover is about to correct Sylvia, before the older woman silences her with a wink.

Without any further argument, Alucard pays Sylvia her deposit, balances the other parcels on top of the apples in his basket, and leaves the shop hand-in-hand with his lover, not even bothering to spare Seth a passing glance as they head out into the street. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

The moment the lovers exit the shop, Seth turns to Sylvia, a wide grin on his face. ‘You were right, Auntie S. They really are a cute couple!’ Ever since he started just a few weeks ago, Sylvia has spoken about that couple constantly, excitedly waiting for them to visit again just so she can gush over how adorable they are together.

Sylvia squeals. ‘Aren’t they just? I can’t wait to make her wedding dress. Do you think she’ll want it in white, or a less traditional colour? She’s going to look so pretty!’ In truth, it was probably wrong of Sylvia to let it slip that ‘Mrs Arikado’ isn’t a ‘Mrs’ at all, but with Seth assisting her full time now, it’s not as if he wasn’t going to find out on his own eventually.

Seth laughs. ‘You can ask her yourself the next time she comes in. I’m assuming he left to collect the ring?’ From the way he was acting earlier, Seth is willing to bet Mr Arikado is far too protective of his lover to leave her in the presence of a stranger without a good reason; looking for a machine part isn’t nearly enough of one.

Sylvia is quick to nod. ‘He’s going to do it today, I’m certain of it. The two of them are going to be so happy together.’ Of that, Sylvia is certain, for one simple reason; they’re already happy together.

Staring at the front door, Seth nods slowly. ‘I think you’re right, Auntie S. I think they’re both going to be very happy soon.’ With that, Seth disappears into the backroom again, resuming the task he was forced to postpone earlier.

As for Sylvia, she begins to work on the light blue dress, wishing its future owner happiness with every stitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the next chapter, huh? ;)
> 
> See you all Wednesdayyyyyyy ;3


	43. A New Beginning To A Haunting Memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> As promised, he were are. Enjoy ;3
> 
> (Small announcement in ending notes)

As morning quickly turns to afternoon, it soon becomes clear that it wasn’t money that Alucard discussed with Sylvia just before you’d left her shop.

Gone is the distance that he’d put between you earlier, his old mannerisms making a welcome return as he’d slipped one of his hands into yours, suggesting that you pay a visit to the bakers to pick up a few things for a picnic lunch in the forest. You’d been all-too willing to agree to that, glad that his behaviour had finally settled back into the normality you’ve become used to during your time as lovers.

Of course, that doesn’t mean Alucard’s darker, more brooding side hadn’t made an appearance when you’d entered the baker’s. The moment he’d locked eyes with the same dreadful assistant that made such vulgar comments to you on your last visit, Alucard had been quick to drop your hand in favour of wrapping his arm around your waist, making it abundantly clear that you are very much a taken woman.

After purchasing some bread and, on Alucard’s insistence, some cake, you’d made your way to the merchant, looking to buy some cheese to fill the bread with. The merchant had been slightly confused to see Alucard again, wondering aloud why he didn’t buy cheese when he visited him this morning. Alucard had given him a vague excuse about being forgetful by nature, before quickly paying up and placing the cheese into the basket, ready to take you into the forest.

Eventually, the two of you had found a nice spot far enough from town to ensure privacy, at which point Alucard had been keen to surrender his travelling cloak to act as a blanket. You’d settled on it without making a fuss, and the two of you had started tucking into lunch, with Alucard insisting he be the one in charge of food preparation. It’s just as well, really; he’s the one with the knife, after all.

Taking a bite out of your bread and cheese, you have to admit that this was a good idea on Alucard’s part. While you can see what look like rain clouds beginning to form peeking out from behind the treetops, that doesn’t change the fact that eating a meal somewhere other than the dining room is a rare occurrence these days. Maybe the two of you should start taking a basket into the woods more often? Surely Alucard also appreciates the fresh air? 

As you stare up through the treetops, you hear Alucard chuckle lightly. ‘Are you enjoying our lunch, my love? You seem to be more interested in the clouds than the cake. Are you feeling well?’ As well as it is possible to feel really, considering how much bread and cheese you’ve just eaten…

You sigh contentedly, finishing the last of your food before smiling at Alucard. ‘It was perfection. A little too perfect, actually. Would you mind if I saved my cake for later? I’m too full for it at the moment.’ Which is a real shame, because it’s the honeyed kind you love so much. Surely it’ll keep for a few hours more?

Alucard reaches his hand out to you, wiping a crumb from the corner of your lips. ‘Whatever my queen desires. We should make a move, anyway. There is somewhere else I’d like us to go today. Somewhere important.’ What could possibly be so important in these woods? Has he been working on some kind of secret surprise? Is that the real reason he’s been leaving the castle without you?

It all makes sense now. The day he went into town by himself, he must have actually started working on something, before quickly buying you cake and other supplies to cover his ruse. Then today, with you distracted, he made the final preparations for his plan, and now he plans to unveil it. The only question is; what exactly is his plan?

As you stand up from the cloak so Alucard can retrieve it, you begin to carefully consider what his plan might be. The first thing that comes to mind, as outlandish as it might sound, is that he’s built a secret love nest in the woods, and he intends to take you there for your first time together. That would at least explain why he’s been so adamant that you wait for the perfect opportunity before going all the way; he doesn’t want all his effort to go to waste.

Another theory, one that makes a lot more sense, is that he’s found another flower field, possibly one even bigger than the first. But then, if he has, wouldn’t he have insisted you picnic there instead? That seems much more like something Alucard would do, which makes this option even more unlikely.

Realising that trying to read Alucard’s intentions isn’t always your strong suit, you instead smile as Alucard once again takes your hand, leading you deeper into the woods with a slight smile on his face.

After a few moments of silence, you decide to see if you can get any hints as to where you’re going. ‘So, is this another secret part of your castle that I haven’t been to yet?’ You still feel like you’re far away from home, but for all you know, it could have underground passageways. Oh, but didn’t Alucard once mention something about the castle not being built where it is now? That rules that theory out, then, unless you’re about to start heading back to the castle.

Alucard shakes his head softly. ‘It’s our castle, but no, I’m not taking you to a new part of it. It’s somewhere that you’ve been before, but it might be best not to dwell on that overmuch.’ Somewhere that you’ve been before, but not somewhere you’d like to remember being…

You freeze where you stand, the surrounding trees suddenly becoming overfamiliar. It’s all coming back to you now. The running, the shouts, the way the earth felt against your bare feet. This is the same way you ran the day those men left you for dead, and if what Alucard says is true, then he’s taking you to the very stream that was almost your grave.

Trembling, you slip your hand out of Alucard’s, trying to take a few deep breaths. ‘Adrian… I don’t think I can go back there. Can’t we just go home instead?’ It’s going to be raining before too long anyway, and you’d rather not get soaking wet after what was such a lovely lunch.

Dropping his basket, Alucard places his hands on your cheeks, making sure your head continues to face his. ‘My love, I need you to trust me. I am not taking you there to be cruel. I am taking you because there is something I need you to understand. For my sake, will you let me take you to the place we met a second time?’ That’s not the way you remember that place, but you know Alucard too well to think that his insistence is without reason; you just wish you could fathom it.

Raising your hands to gently stroke Alucard’s wrists, you nod as best you can with his hands keeping your head still. ‘I trust you, Adrian. More than anyone. If what you have to show me is really this important to you, I’ll go, but only if you promise we can leave if it upsets me too much.’ With him by your side, and the men who almost murdered you in their graves, you should be fine, but if your memories return to you too vividly…

Alucard kisses you deeply then, his lips tender against your own. ‘I promise. I am not doing this to hurt you. I am doing this so we can move forwards.’ His hands fall away from you, and he retrieves the basket before offering you his hand again, an invitation you’re more than happy to accept; you’re going to need a lot of support to get through this.

If you even make it through this at all.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It doesn’t take the two of you long to reach the stream, your own walking pace becoming faster once you’d been informed of your destination. While it has been a long while since you were last here, the place seems to be practically unchanged. The water still flows as it always has, caressing the rocks that had caused your body to break and bruise. Well, that and the men, but losing your footing on a stray rock had been what caused your ultimate downfall.

As you make a note of your surroundings, Alucard squeezes your hand firmly in support, before drawing your attention to a nearby tree. ‘Do you see the hole in the trunk? The one that now seems to be a nest of sorts?’ What a strange question to ask. Is he going to follow it up by asking if it was here the last time you visited? Because it may surprise him to learn that you weren’t all that focused on the intricacies of the trees when you were last here, running for your life…

Still, you nod, and Alucard hums, letting go of your hand and walking over to stand by the tree. ‘I made that hole. Not deliberately. Well, not entirely deliberately, at least. It was not long after you regained consciousness, and told me of the reason you’d been hunted down so viciously. I came here to see if I could catch even the faintest scent of one of your would-be murderers, so I could hunt them down and make them suffer for what they did. How could they show you such malice, when it was clear to me within only a few moments of knowing you that you were undeserving of such a thing? You, who had been so determined to keep a promise you made to a total stranger that you were willing to die for it. It felt like the worst kind of cruelty, and in my frustration, I kicked a rock into the tree. I think that a part of me will always blame myself for what happened to you here. Had I only known what you would come to mean to me, I could have spared you so much pain. For that, I apologise with all that I am.’ He truly felt so strongly about what happened to you even then? You wish you’d known that sooner. If you did, you might not have been so afraid of him, and the things he could have so easily have done to you.

After hearing his confession, you shake your head, still a little uneasy in your current surroundings. ‘You couldn’t have known what would happen to me after I left you. I was no one to you back then. What matters is that you were here for me when I needed someone the most. You saved my life Adrian, and that more than makes up for the tiny part you might have played in what those men did to me.’ A million times over, in fact; him coming to your aid is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to you.

Alucard nods meekly. ‘I couldn’t leave you to die. I think a part of me knew how special you were even back then. The young thief, so frail and yet so brave even in the face of danger. You were always a diamond in the rough, just waiting for someone to help you shine. Now here you are, shining brighter than the sun itself. Even if I hadn’t fallen hopelessly in love with you, I would still be glad that I’d helped. As it is, I couldn’t ask for a better person to spend my life with. You are truly unique, worth far more than the pale comparisons I am always laying at your feet. Still, I have more than mere words at my disposal, so I shall just have to hope that deeds can help me express the depths of my love. Please, remove your shoes for me, my love.’ You’re torn between bursting into tears and shooting him an incredulous glance. How can he say all of that, only to end it with such a request? The thought of being barefoot here again, after what happened last time…

Taking a deep breath, you bend over as gracefully as you can, removing your shoes despite your shaking hands. Alucard asked you to trust him, and if that involves taking off your shoes, you’ll do it. Besides, he trusted you enough that he let you take down the bodies he was so determined to keep on display; after all he has trusted you, it seems only fair to trust him in return. It would also be a poor relationship indeed, if you were unable to trust him.

Placing your shoes together neatly, you’re surprised to see that Alucard has done the same thing, his bare feet visible as he picks up the basket he must have dropped for a moment. ‘Perfect. Wait there just for a moment.’ To your surprise, Alucard wades into the stream then, the water dampening the bottoms of his trousers as he places his basket down on the other side, right next to where he found you. Is this some kind of strange attempt at replacing an old memory with a new one? Are the apples to remind you that while this might be where you nearly died, it’s connected to the place where you first met, so it isn’t that bad?

Slowly walking back towards you, Alucard extends a hand to you. ‘While I hate to ask a lady to dampen her dress, I would like you to join me in the water. Please?’ Despite the many misgiving you have, you take Alucard’s hand, confident that, if nothing else, he’ll catch you if you start to slip once again; the last thing either of you want is a repeat of that day.

With both your feet firmly in the water, Alucard leans over to you, offering you a quick kiss before pulling back slightly. ‘In all honesty, I hadn’t intended to come here with you today. It was just supposed to be a quick trip into town to fetch something, but that plan went out of the proverbial window after Sylvia decided to scold me for being a complete fool. Then again, perhaps I should scold you, too. How can you think even for a single moment that I don’t love every part of you? That I find you in any way unappealing? Every time you come to me with an offer to make love, it takes every fibre of my being to hold back, because there is only one thing in this world that I desire more. It is that desire alone that has stopped me from making love to you, and nothing else. 

‘That is why I have taken you here today. The few things I have done thus far have done nothing to help rid you of your self-loathing, but taking you back to the place it began just might. So, I want you to look me in the eyes, and tell me right here and now why you don’t think you’re beautiful.’ Right here? In the middle of the cold stream with rain so clearly settling in the sky? This hardly seems appropriate…

You shrug, trying to keep your gaze away from Alucard’s own. ‘I don’t know. There are plenty of reasons, I suppose. My scars, for one thing. I have so many of them I haven’t been able to count them all. Then there’s the fact that I’m… I’m not a lady, Adrian. I keep telling you that, but you keep ignoring me. I’m just a peasant. I always will be. It doesn’t matter how many fancy dresses or jewels you put on me. I’m always just going to be the orphaned thief who got lucky. How can you find that beautiful?’ For a while, you thought your issues were getting better, but he’s right; your insecurities run so deep that no amount of convincing will ever truly rid you of them.

Alucard brings your gaze back to him with a hand on your cheek. ‘Let me ask you something. Do you find me beautiful?’ What kind of question is that?! Haven’t you made that clear in the past?

The answer is so obvious that the question almost offends you. ‘Of course I do! You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met in my life. You’re so beautiful that all the scars in the world couldn’t possibly tarnish that.’ Even if the ones he does have are vicious, they don’t matter to you; they’re just a part of him.

Alucard sighs. ‘The same can be said of you, but that is not the point I wanted to make. Close your eyes.’ Why? Is he going to leave you alone in the stream? 

Trusting him once again, you close your eyes, relieved when his hand doesn’t leave your cheek. ‘And now? Do you still find me beautiful?’ What? Why would closing your eyes suddenly change that? 

Fighting the urge to open your eyes just so you can glare at him in frustration, you settle for a scowl. ‘Nothing has changed, Adrian. You’re not only beautiful when I can see you. Besides which, you’re not only beautiful on the outside. There’s your kindness, and your patience, and… oh.’ Suddenly, Alucard’s lesson begins to make sense. All this time, you’ve been so focused on how appealing he finds your body that you’d almost forgotten that beauty has many other meanings. After all, you can’t compare a flower to a sunrise, yet both can be considered beautiful.

After a moment of silence, Alucard hums. ‘I think you finally understand now. As much as I love your body, and I do love it tremendously despite the scars you seem to detest so much, when I say that you are beautiful, I am not just talking about the way you look. True beauty comes from within, spreading out if enough of it is present. To me, you will always be beautiful, because you have let me glimpse at that inner beauty so many times that I can no longer see anything else. The way you kept your promise to me despite what it cost you. The way you trusted me to take care of you even though you feared me. The way your kindness coaxed me out of the melancholy that threatened to destroy all that I once was. The patience you’ve shown me when it comes to our relationship, even if you have been a little bolder lately.’ You choke out a laugh at that, and Alucard answers with his own before continuing. ‘All of those things are what beauty means to me, and all of those things are in you. Therefore, in my mind and in the heart that has only ever truly loved you and you alone, you are beautiful, and I will tolerate no future arguments on that topic.’ He lets his hand fall away then, and you open your watery eyes before flinging yourself in his arms, happy when his own wrap around you and bring you flush against his chest.

Kissing your forehead softly, Alucard squeezes you firmly before removing his arms, a signal that the hug isn’t being cut short. ‘Now that we have established that, there is another reason I came here with you today. I have a surprise for you.’ This is it, then. It must be. This is where you make love. The thing he wants more than that must be for you to love yourself, and now that you have had a breakthrough at least, he’s willing to accept that as being close enough.

You grin eagerly, the fear you’d once felt coming here eclipsed by joy. ‘I’m ready, Adrian. Where do you want me?’ It would probably be uncomfortable doing it in the rocky stream, but if that’s what he really wants, you’re happy. Anything if it means finally getting what you want.

Alucard thinks for a moment before smiling. ‘Step forward a little, please.’ Careful not to slip on a stray rock, you begin slowly stepping forwards, stopping when Alucard raises a hand. ‘There, I think that’s the spot. That’s where I stood when I first came to examine you. In fact, I’m quite certain that’s the spot, because it’s not something I’m ever going to forget. I still have nightmares about that day, always dreaming that I don’t quite make it to you in time. Alas, standing here with you now, I know that they are but dreams, and there is a much more pleasant one I intend to make reality.’ He reaches into the basket then, pulling out what looks to be an apple. It’s the right colour at least, but it looks a little… fuzzy. Like fruit that’s been left to rot or something.

You’re about to ask him why he has a moldy apple when Alucard continues talking. ‘The moment I saw you that day in the flower field, with a smile on your face and the sun bathing your body with light, I knew in my heart of hearts that I was never going to be rid of you. You came into my life under the most dire of circumstances, but now that you’re in it, I don’t want to live another moment of it without you by my side. The love that you have shown me has only strengthened my own, and I am far too selfish not to want to keep it to myself forever. My love, my queen, will… oh no.’ You’re about to ask what he means by that, when a single drop of water hits your face; looks like the rain is here.

Alucard growls, one of his hands clenching into a fist. ‘I have already allowed the rain to ruin my courtship plans, but it will not ruin this.’ He falls to one knee then, and as he brings his hands out in front of him, it occurs to you that it is not an apple in his hands; it’s a jewellery box.

Time seems to freeze for a moment, and you swear your heart just skipped a beat. Is he…? No, he can’t be. He wouldn’t. He doesn’t want you as his wife. Why would he? It’s probably just a key to the castle, or a bracelet or something. 

Those thoughts do nothing to stop fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as Alucard opens the box, a flash of something sparking even in the dim light of the rain the only thing you see before his words hit you like a bolt of lighting;

‘Will you marry me?’

It feels as if all the air has left your lungs. Alucard is kneeling in a stream, in the rain, presenting you with the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen in your life. Five stones are spaced out along a golden band, the metal twisting around them in a way that makes them look like the middle of five flowers. A flower crown, made for your finger. While you don’t know the names of the blue stones at the edge, or the yellow ones that come next, you’re pretty certain the one in the middle is a diamond, and it seems to be larger than the other four.

This can’t be real. You must surely be dreaming. Why would Alucard want you as his wife? Moreover, why would he go to the effort of having a beautiful ring made? He could have proposed to you with a piece of string and you’d have still worn it proudly for the rest of your life!

Realising he is waiting for an answer, you choke out the only word you can manage. ‘Why?’ Your tears begin to feel hot against your cheeks, especially compared to the rain. 

Alucard begins to frown, his hands shaking slightly. ‘Because I love you, and I want you to be my wife. What other reasons do I need?’ There are so many others he could have chosen, but those are the two that really matter.

Even still, you feel the need to ask again. ‘But why me? I don’t deserve this. I’m just a peasant, barely fit to sweep your floors. I thought you’d only ever see me as your mistress…’ Then again, what had Sylvia told you once? It isn’t about what you deserve, but what you have? If Alucard really wants to take you as his wife, you should jump at the opportunity to marry the man you love!

If Alucard looked upset before, he now looks completely crestfallen. ‘I never saw you as that. All throughout our courtship, before that even, I only ever saw you as my future wife. That’s why I have been putting off making love. I wanted you to know that I have no intention of making love to you only to abandon you. When I say I want you by my side forever, those words are not empty.’ His arms begin to grow slack then, as if he’s slowly losing hope. ‘Is it the ring? I really should have consulted you, but I wanted it to be a surprise. I know the blue and the yellow don’t really go together, but it’s supposed to be symbolic, and…’ Alucard stops talking then, but only because you’re the one to silence him by striding over and leaning down to kiss him.

When you pull back, you smile at him, the tears still streaming down your face. ‘Yes. Yes, I will marry you, Adrian Tepes, and I will stay with you for the rest of my life.’ In a flash, Alucard is on his feet, wrapping his arms around you tightly before lifting you up and spinning you both a few times, laughing with joy as you feel a few of his tears dampen your hair.

After a few more laughs, Alucard puts you back down, tucking your rain-damp hair behind your ear before smiling at you brighter than ever before. ‘You have made me the happiest man alive. Can I put the ring on your finger?’ You proudly present your hand to Alucard, practically squealing when the ring fits you exactly. ‘Perfect. I must admit, for a moment there I was terrified you’d say no. I know both the setting and the weather aren’t ideal, but I just couldn’t hold back any longer.’ As terrible as the weather is, you’re not certain you mind the location so much anymore. Not now you have this to balance out the bad memories.

Staring at the ring, and thinking back to what Alucard said only a few moments ago, realisation hits you again. ‘You don’t have to hold back. I know I don’t want to.’

Alucard’s eyes flash with something for a moment, before his expression returns to a warm smile. ‘Let us return home, then. I think I have had enough water for one day.’ Home… that word seems to mean more now. Your home, the one you share with your soon-to-be husband. You like the way that sounds now. It makes you feel even more like you belong.

If it feels that way, it really must be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the small announcement is that we're going to be delaying the next chapter by a week, so it'll be two weeks from today. The simple reason for this is we really want to get it perfect, as it's going to be a very significant chapter...
> 
> ... Unless of course we finish it early, but that is highly unlikely. With that said, we shall see you again the week after next with something just a little bit spicy ;3
> 
> Update: So the next chapter will be postponed a little bit longer, roughly until next month. A lot of things have gone on this month that we have yet to work on the new chapter aside from planning it out. We have an idea of what will happen, but Raindrop's internet connection is really bad right now so communication has been rough between us. And this being August, I lost someone dear to me 3 years ago, so my motivation is very low. Things will be back on schedule by September hopefully, until then stay safe. ♥


	44. A Night To Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> ... So, that was a long two weeks >.< We apologise for the delay. We both had things going on that were unavoidable, and had to take priority over this. Still, for now at least, we are back, and we bring with us something that we feel is worth the wait ;)
> 
> Enjoy ^.^

The rain refuses to let up on the way back to the castle.

Even though Alucard had ended up insisting that he carry you back to save time, by the time the castle comes into view, both of you are drenched to the bone, your clothing clinging to you in places like a second skin.

Yet despite that, you really can’t bring yourself to care even slightly about your damp apparel. The entire journey home, your gaze has been fixed on the ring now taking pride of place on your finger, and all that it represents.

You’re going to be Alucard’s wife. You’re not certain when the ceremony will be taking place, or how you’re going to marry a man that isn’t exactly human, but all of that is irrelevant. All those thoughts of being nothing but his mistress have been replaced with fantasies of the day you’ll be able to introduce yourself as Mrs Tepes (Or Arikado, depending on the circumstances) without it being an excuse or illusion. No, soon you’ll be a married woman, and nothing in the world could make you happier…

… Well, there might be just one thing.

Even as you enter the castle, Alucard refuses to put you down, discarding his basket at the door before heading off in the direction of your bedroom, and for once, it really does feel like it’s yours. It is the bedroom that the lord of this castle has taken, and as you’re soon to be his good lady wife, it is most definitely yours, too. 

Most importantly though, it’s the bed on which you’re going to give yourself to your future husband.

That’s one of the most exciting aspects of your engagement. There’s no longer a reason for either of you to hold back. The issues that once stopped your intimacy, while they are still somewhat present, are no longer as pressing as they once were. You’re hoping they’ll at least be faded enough to convince Alucard to stop holding back, and to finally claim your virginity.

Your gaze is temporarily taken away from the ring as you realise your feet have been planted on the ground once again, Alucard looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. ‘Home at last, my love. Forgive me for keeping you out so long. Had I known it was going to rain…’ 

You’re quick to place a finger over his lips, silencing him with a smile. ‘Don’t you dare apologise. I won’t have you spoiling this moment with self doubt. This is the happiest moment of my life, and if the price of that is getting slightly wet, then so be it.’ In fairness, he’s carried you back here far wetter, and in far worse circumstances; on this occasion, there is no reason to complain.

Alucard settles his hands on your waist, leaning over slightly to rest his forehead on yours. ‘Alright. No apologies, then. How about a thank you, for making me the happiest man alive?’ He thinks he should be thanking you for making him happy? Has he not noticed the grin that’s been affixed to your face since the moment you accepted the proposal?

Still, it’s better than him apologising. ‘I’ll accept it, but only if you’ll accept my thanks for making me the happiest woman alive.’ And then someday soon, he’s going to make you the happiest human alive by marrying you. It’s still so hard to believe that this isn’t some wonderful dream…

At your response, Alucard’s eyes light up, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. ‘Oh, but I do believe I can make you happier still. Why don’t we get out of these wet clothes? You must be very cold, and I have a very special way of warming you up…’ Alucard’s hands bring your body forward to settle against his own, a firm bulge nudging your core as his lips descend on your neck. This is it. This is his breaking point. Finally, he is going to take you. He’s going to strip you down, lay your body against the bed, and ruin you for all other men. It’s all you’ve wanted for so long, the one thing you’ve been dreaming of!

… It’s just a shame that you yourself would rather wait a while.

After all, as worked up as he is now from the adrenaline of his proposal, he won’t be able to fully appreciate the surprise you have waiting for him under your dress, and it would be a shame to waste Sylvia’s fine craftsmanship. That, and considering how long he’s delayed this moment with his own arbitrary time constraints, it’s only fair that you give him a taste of his own medicine.

Pushing his shoulders away gently, your will almost breaks when Alucard’s honeyed eyes stare at you, a mixture of disappointment and confusion in their golden hue. ‘I’d like to wait until tonight to make love. It has to be special, after all, and I don’t think ‘warming up’ is special enough. So why not take me tonight, when we’ll have all the time in the world to explore each other without worrying about getting too cold?’ That is, if your wish to delay isn’t pushing him too hard. Goodness knows you’ve been pushed to frustration by his refusals before, even if you’ve never acted on it.

A gentleman as always, Alucard releases his hold on your hips so he can grab your hands, bringing them up to his lips and gracing them with a quick kiss. ‘Of course. Forgive me for being too hasty. I do still intend for your first time to be something of note, so I shall keep my desires at bay. Just know now that I am entirely at your command. The next time you tell me you want to make love, I am yours. Just as you shall be mine.’ He stares at the ring on your finger, a wistful look in his eyes. ‘To think that you have chosen to marry me, when you could have chosen so many others… It is like a most wonderful dream. Were it not for the softness of your body or the coldness of my clothes, I would think I was dreaming. Yet I know this is real, and that thought alone is enough to make me want to avoid dreaming. After all, no dream will ever surpass my reality. Not when I shall have you as my bride.’ He kisses your hands again before finally letting them go, and you have to suppress a whimper as you begin to miss the feeling of his skin against your own.

A feeling you know you’ll be experiencing again in but a few short hours, but in a far more intimate way than a mere touching of hands.

Brushing the front of your dress nervously, you tip your head slightly towards Alucard. ‘I’m going to change into something warm and dry. I’ll see you in a moment.’ Hopefully, the rain hasn’t completely ruined the underthings you’re currently hiding; you’d be a little upset if you’re delaying your big moment with Alucard for a surprise that isn’t viable.

Alucard waves his hand dismissively. ‘I wouldn’t advise changing while you’re still so wet. I’ll draw you a bath if you like? That should take away the chill, if nothing else. It might help you relax, too. I know you have a lot to think about.’ Like what? The wedding preparations? Him taking your virginity tonight?

If it’s the latter, then all you can do is smirk. ‘The only thing I want to think about is how good you’ll feel inside me, Adrian. Everything else is irrelevant.’ Alucard’s cheeks grow pink at that, and for a moment, you swear there is hunger in his eyes. Maybe you’ve gone too far with your teasing? Is this where he insists that he takes you now?

Reaching out to you again, Alucard places a finger under your chin, his thumb stroking your lower lip. ‘I shall do everything in my power not to disappoint you. Just know that no matter how tonight turns out, every single one of my actions shall be motivated by love, and nothing else. If all I desired was sex, I would have already taken you up on one of your many offers. I love you, and I intend to marry you. Keep that in mind, and I have no doubt that this shall be a night to remember.’ He kisses you then, a light brush of his lips against your own before he makes to leave, presumably to prepare your bath.

As you listen to his footsteps becoming gradually softer, one thing is clear; this really will be a night to remember.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

After taking a stupidly long bath, you’d taken the time to fully dry yourself before changing back into your new underwear and a dry dress, admiring once again the way the former clings to your skin. Alucard is in for quite the surprise tonight, once your dinner is concluded.

Then again, if he continues to stare at you like he is, there’s every chance your clothing will melt under the intensity of his gaze, revealing his treat a little sooner than you’re hoping to.

From the moment you stepped into the dinning room, clad in the simple dress you often wear around the castle, Alucard’s eyes have been on you, only ever leaving for a few moments at a time so he can tend to dinner. Normally, such intensity would make you uneasy, but after what transpired a few hours ago, you know exactly what his gaze means; he wants you. He wants you, and the moment dinner is concluded, he means to take you.

Raising your glass to your lips, you watch as Alucard cuts off another piece of meat from his plate, bringing it to his lips almost lazily as his eyes continue to explore your body. His meal has remained relatively untouched, a rarity for Alucard which speaks volumes for his desire. Unless of course he has no appetite for steak? That would be a pity. The steak he prepared for you is quite lovely, up to his usual standards of excellence. Even if his own is not of a similar quality, you’d have assumed he’d be eating it quickly; the sooner dinner ends, the sooner the two of you can go to bed.

As Alucard chews his mouthful slowly, you lower your glass, brow furrowing slightly as you make an inquiry. ‘Are you not feeling steak tonight, Adrian? If you’re not up to cooking again, I can always cook something for you?’ As reluctant as you are to delay tonight; he’s not the only one hungering for a lover’s touch.

Swallowing, Alucard shakes his head. ‘That won’t be necessary. I merely lack the appetite for food tonight. If you were to grant me any kind of favour, you might finish your own meal quickly, so I can indulge in my appetite for other things.’ Like your body… You may have once been oblivious to his romantic overtures, but you would have to be truly dense to miss the sexual undercurrent to his words.

Still, it does bring a question to mind. ‘Adrian, did you want to have one last taste of my blood? Because you said that virgin blood tastes best, and after tonight… Would you like that?’ It’s almost disappointing in a way, thinking about the fact that you’re about to taste less appealing. Even if he does grow bored with you, an unlikely thing given how much love he’s shown you, then after tonight… Still, lack of virginity doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily taste bad, surely? Just less appealing than you currently do.

Alucard pushes his plate away at your statement, clearly bored of steak. ‘Finish your meal, my love. Then we can discuss that.’ The old you would have felt small at that, worried that you had pushed his patience too far. However, you know him too well now; you know he doesn’t want to discuss it because he’s afraid his self control will snap, and he does not want it to break too soon.

Unfortunately for him, a part of you loves it when he loses control.

That’s why you opt to push your own plate away, smiling at him sweetly. ‘You know, you’re not the only one with an appetite for other things, Adrian. I’m personally hungry for the feeling of having you between my legs, so why don’t we skip the steak and have something else?’ Alucard swallows hard at that, his fingers twitching slightly. That’s it, he wants to pounce…

Standing, Alucard gestures to the table, his voice betraying none of his inner turmoil. ‘Very well. If you’d like to sit on the table and tilt your head for me, I think I shall have that final virginal drink.’ Shit, but you feel so weak for him when he puts it like that. You can barely control your body as you get yourself into position, so eager to do as he asks so he’ll take you sooner. Once he’s done with his meal, will he carry you to bed, or have you pushed his patience too far? It doesn’t matter to you much either way, as long as you finally get to feel him inside you. Nothing else matters past that, and the fact that no matter how else you choose to look at tonight, a single phrase comes to mind; wedding night practice.

Settling one hand on your hip, Alucard uses the other to sweep your hair off your shoulder, caressing your neck as he goes. ‘I’ll still never know how I got so fortunate. The love of my life walked into mine, and despite me pushing her away, here she sits. My love, the woman soon to be my wife… Are you quite certain you don’t want to wait until our wedding night? Despite my desires, I am a patient man. I can wait as long as you need me to.’ His thumb ghosts its way along your chin, stopping just underneath your lips. You practically melt at his touch, your eyes flickering shut as you prepare yourself for his fangs.

When he receives no answer, you feel Alucard take his hand away, only for his warm breath to tickle your ear. ‘Not here then. As alluring as you are, I would be tempted to push you down and have you right here. It wouldn’t be the first time I considered it, either. That evening just a few short months ago, when you last offered me a taste, I was mere seconds away from tearing off your dress and taking what I wanted. I must say I am glad that I resisted that urge. Now when I slide myself inside you, I will know that I am wanted, and that we are doing it out of love. Such wholehearted love…’ His lips descend upon your neck, planting an entire row of tender kisses. Part of you wonders if he’s changed his mind about feeding, but even after a dozen kisses, his lips are the only thing that touch your skin; wholehearted love indeed.

Grabbing his shoulders, you have to fight the urge to moan. ‘You could… If you wanted to take me here, I’d let you. I just want to feel you, Adrian. I want to be yours.’ Preferably, you’d like him to at least take off your dress, but if he’s particularly keen…

Alucard withdraws his lips then, before scooping you into his arms, making to leave the kitchen without pause. ‘You are mine. That’s why I intend to do this properly.’ If by properly he means ‘make sweet love until you can barely stand’, then you’re all for it; this is long overdue.

Clinging onto Alucard’s chest, you bring your lips up to his ear, faltering slightly as he begins the ascend the stairs. ‘If you say so, my future husband.’ Alucard growls at that, his steps faster than before. Honestly, if he’s this eager now, maybe what he said about finding waiting hard really was true.

With his new rapid pace, it takes Alucard mere moments to have you both in the bedroom. Shutting the door behind you both with his foot, he’s quick to lay your body gently on the bed, his hands stroking your legs through your dress before settling on your hips.

You make to sit up, to kiss him, but he moves a hand onto your shoulder, keeping you pinned to the bed. ‘Patience, my love. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time. I’m going to make you feel so good…’ The hand on your shoulder slides down over your breast, his thumb finding your nipple before giving it a teasing stroke. You gasp softly, and Alucard bites his lip, undressing you with his eyes as the bulge in his trousers hardens even further.

After a few more teases, Alucard moves the hand to your neck, his fingers tracing your jaw as your eyes flutter closed. ‘So beautiful…’ He strokes your neck reverently with the back of his hand, letting it go down all the way to your cleavage before moving it up to your shoulder.

Taking your sleeve in hand, Alucard tugs it off your shoulder, humming with curiosity when he sees an unfamiliar strap. ‘I wonder what secrets my future wife is hiding under her dress…’ he continues dragging your sleeve down your shoulder, his other hand leaving your hips so it can work on its twin.

Opening your eyes, you can’t help but smirk up at him, chewing on your bottom lip. ‘It’s a gift.’ Technically, it’s a gift from Sylvia, but you don’t need to mention that; you just need to hope he likes what he sees.

When he has your sleeves down midway, Alucard’s hands move behind your body to undo your laces, and you arch your spine to help him. ‘Oh, but you are a gift already. Still, you have me intrigued. As much as I love the sight of your flesh laid bare to me, I am so weak for the type of underwear you’ve become fond of wearing.’ He leans down to place a kiss between your breasts as he tugs the laces apart, the fabric feeling loose on your body. 

Placing your hands over his, you guide them to your waist, encouraging him to collect the fabric in them. ‘I hope you like this one, then.’ You don’t know what you’ll do if he doesn’t. Would he allow you to leave and change into one that he does find attractive?

Taking a deep breath, Alucard pulls on your dress, his eyes widening as his ‘gift’ comes into view. The loose straps on your shoulders hold up the practically transparent fabric clinging to your breasts like a second skin, your erect nipples rubbing deliciously against the fabric with every breath. It continues to cling to your torso until it comes to the swell of your hips, where two silk ribbons attach the flimsiest pair of underwear you’ve ever worn to the rest of the outfit. The ribbons themselves are probably harder to break than the underwear itself is, but according to Sylvia, it’s more about symbolism than practicality; you really are made up to look like a present, ready for Alucard to open.

Alucard groans as your dress is finally discarded, the new underwear the only thing left on your body. ‘I… I must be dreaming. There is no way…’ He swallows hard, his hands trembling at his side. ‘This is real, isn’t it? You’re real, and you’re wearing this because you love me, and you want to make love… Please tell me this is real.’ The way he’s looking at you now, it almost breaks your heart. He looks like you’re going to fade away the moment he blinks…

This time when you sit up, Alucard doesn’t stop you, only watching as you guide his hands to your face. ‘This is real, Adrian. I’m real, and the way I feel about you is real. I’m marrying you, after all.’ His gaze falls on the ring still taking pride of place on your finger, and the turmoil in his eyes slowly morphs back into the want you’d seen at dinner. That’s the look you were hoping to see tonight, and he has not disappointed you.

You’re confident he’ll never disappoint you.

Smiling only for a moment, Alucard is quick to take his hands back, lifting his leg to begin ridding himself of his shoes. ‘Lay down against the pillows and get comfortable, my queen. I need to make sure you’re ready for me.’ You shuffle back onto the bed as Alucard continues to undress, gracefully undoing his shirt buttons when his shoes are gone. You lick your lips as his chest comes into view, a slight pang of worry in your chest as you take in his scars. He’s lived through so much pain, it’s hardly a surprise he thinks you’re not real. At least now you can spend the rest of your life convincing him that you are real, and not about to add to those scars; you want to soothe his soul instead.

His shirt discarded, Alucard crawls onto the bed, settling his thighs next to yours as he leans over you. ‘Now that we have established you aren’t a creature from my deepest fantasies, might I tell you that you look… Words fail me. Truly, they do. Had I not already decided that I wanted to make love, this would have broken my will completely.’ He pulls away slightly, staring at your breasts as he deliberately thrusts his hips against you.

You’re about to tell him that was the plan, when he pounces, his mouth descending on a clothed nipple before you can speak. Your hands weave their way into his hair, tugging at his golden locks as you feel your body responding to his touch.

Never one to neglect you, one of Alucard’s hands traces a path from your hip to your breast, teasing your other nipple as his mouth continues it’s assault. Through your moans, you hear the telltale sound of fabric ripping, one of Alucard’s fangs snagging on your underwear. Undeterred, he continues to lap and nip at you until you cry out, helpless to the way you crave his touch.

Stopping for a moment, Alucard pulls his mouth away, looking up at you with a knowing look before switching breasts, the damp fabric clinging to your now-abandoned breast. You expect one of his hands to tease it, to make you whimper again, but instead, it lingers on your thigh, his thumb brushing against the sensitive inner skin in deliberately faint circles. 

Then, with a particularly hard nip, Alucard glides his hand up further up your leg, his thumb now resting on the crotch of your underwear.

Crying out, Alucard abandons your breast, taking in a breath you’re not even certain he needs. ‘You’re so wet, even through this. You’re going to take me so well…’ He practically purrs that last statement, stroking you firmly to illustrate his point. 

You thrust your hips up into his hand, gripping his shoulders for purchase. ‘I want you so badly, Adrian. I need you inside me.’ As good an idea as the underwear was, you’re beginning to hate it; you’d give anything to have his bare flesh against yours.

Alucard chuckles, a low and throaty sound that makes you feel weak. ‘So you’ve said. But as I’ve already told you, my sweet flower queen, patience.’ He strokes you a few more times, and you screw your eyes shut, trying to shift your body in an attempt to make him go faster.

Noticing your intention, Alucard’s strokes become deliberately slow, the man himself shooting you another knowing look before returning to his relentless torment of your nipple, using his tongue more to try and avoid tearing the fabric anew. You dig your nails into his shoulders, whimpering in desperation as he continues his painfully slow teasing of you. It’s only when you start crying out that he finally has mercy, his hand pressing harder against you as he focuses his attention on your still-clothed clit.

Alucard continues teasing you like this until his erection ends up brushing against your leg, his resolve breaking as his arousal finally takes control. Pulling away, he grabs the ribbons, watching with unconcealed lust as your underwear falls away. He tosses it across the room without care, his hands grabbing your thighs firmly before spreading you wide open. 

Stroking your thighs, Alucard moves his face closer to your core, fingers tightening their grip on you. ‘Relax for me, my love. I need to make sure you can take me.’ You’re about to ask how he’s going to take you with his trousers still on, but before you can ask, you feel one of his fingers slipping inside you, your inner walls grasping it firmly as you cry out.

Tilting your head, you watch as Alucard slowly fucks you with his finger, his own eyes totally focused on the sight of him sliding in and out of you. You catch his fangs digging into his lip as he concentrates, and you try not to blush under such intense scrutiny. Instead, you opt to lean back and close your eyes, trying to relax as you let Alucard work his magic on you.

They promptly snap open when his finger starts to feel thicker.

Looking back at Alucard, you notice he’s worked a second finger inside of you, both the digits becoming slick with arousal as he moves them in and out at a steady pace.

Realising he has an audience, Alucard smiles at you, before promptly leaning down and teasing your clit with his tongue.

That small tease has your body hungry for more, and you start thrusting your hips again, enjoying the feeling of him inside you. While this isn’t the first time you’ve had two of his fingers working you like this, it still feels slightly strange, but that feeling is totally eclipsed by pleasure thanks to his clever tongue. Already you can feel an orgasm beginning to bloom inside you, waiting for Alucard to guide you over the edge.

You almost choke on a sigh when he adds a third finger, worshiping your clit with his mouth as he starts to quicken his pace. Your hands grip the pillows, concerned that your gripping him will disrupt his moments and deny you what you want. A few more thrusts, just a few more…

Alucard’s fingers brush you in just the right place as his tongue flicks your clit, and you fall apart around his fingers, body still pushing against him with abandon as you try to draw it out as long as you can. It’s perfect, and the evening isn’t even over yet; you still need to feel more than just his fingers inside you.

Alucard does his best to draw out your orgasm before he brings his head back up, withdrawing his fingers and bringing them up to show you. ‘I think you’re ready for me now, my love. Do you still want to do this?’ Yes. Absolutely yes. After all, he’s gone through the effort of getting you ready, and you’d so hate for his efforts to go to waste.

That, and if you don’t get to feel him inside you soon, you might just weep with need.

Nodding, you smile reassuringly, before tilting your head to the side. ‘You’d better take that last drink then, before I don’t taste as sweet.’ Not that you have any idea why sexual history would alter the taste of blood; right now, you don’t care, either.

Bringing his fingers to his lips, Alucard licks them clean, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. ‘You taste deliciously sweet to me.’ You’d roll your eyes at him if his hands hadn’t already made their way to your hips, grabbing what little loose fabric there is and trying to tear it in two.

The pout that graces his lips when all he ends up doing is tearing out two massive holes is adorable.

Frustrated, Alucard allows one of his nails to grow sharp before trailing it down from the valley of your breasts to your hips, his nail flirting with your skin without breaking it. He eagerly pushes the two halves away when he’s done, before resting his hands on your stomach, seeming to deliberate for a moment before moving them to caress your sides.

Looking at your body, Alucard hums, his approving stare clearly betraying his thoughts. ‘Perfection. I can think of no finer sight in the world. How would you like me to take you? On your back like this, or would you rather be on your knees? We could try with you on top, but after last time…’ He rubs his wrists subconsciously, his nerves getting the better of him again. If only you could make him forget that, he’d have no more reasons to hesitate. But you can’t. It’ll always be with him now, in his mind and on his body…

Stroking his wrists with your own hands, you lean up to place a brief kiss on his lips. ‘Are you sure about this, Adrian? I know I’ve been insistent lately, but if you’re not ready…’ Maybe you’ve been pushing him too hard. Maybe he isn’t ready for this. You’ve spent so much time loving him that you’d almost forgotten he used to be distrustful of you. If he isn’t ready, then that’s fine. You’ll just have to wait a little longer, after all.

Cupping your cheek, Alucard gives you a tender kiss, before coaxing you to lie down again, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. ‘If you were anyone else in the world, I would say no. I’m not sure, and I’m not ready. But with you, I… You are the one person in my life in which I have placed my absolute trust. I want this with you. I crave the feeling of being inside you. As much as I love you, and as much as I have been willing to wait, I’ve been dreaming of this moment for months. I am more than ready for this, my queen. I promise you.’ He kisses you again, and when he pulls back, the worry from before has gone once more.

Biting your lip, you think back to his earlier question, considering your answer carefully. ‘In that case, I think on my back is best. I’d like to try it on my knees too one day, though. Tomorrow, maybe?’ If you’re not too exhausted, that is…

Alucard chuckles again, resting all his weight on his knees. ‘You’ve yet to fully experience lovemaking, yet still you plan to have me tomorrow as well?’ You nod shyly, and Alucard grins, making a start on the fastening of his trousers. ‘Truly I have been blessed, but I think we should focus on tonight before we make further plans.’ With that, he pushes his trousers down to his knees, allowing his cock to spring free proudly. Now that you’re looking at it, it’s incredible to think that he’s going to put it inside you; it looks a lot thicker than his fingers do.

Awkwardly ridding himself of his trousers completely, Alucard settles between your legs, his cock rubbing against your clit as he tries to get into position. Reaching a hand down, he positions the tip just outside of you, rubbing it against you to try and make the most of your wetness.

At long last, this is it. This is the moment you finally lose your virginity to the man you love. This is the moment you allow Alucard to ruin you for marriage as all the townsfolk would stay, despite the fact that he’s the one you’re going to marry. There’s not a thing in the world that could make you happier right now, save for Alucard finally pushing himself inside you.

Resting his forehead against the pillow, you feel Alucard’s fangs scratch against your skin, followed by a quick sweep of his tongue. His final taste of virgin blood; yours, at the very least. Your body can’t control its reaction to him, immediately growing slack as he savours you, your hands stroking his back lazily.

The thing that brings you back to reality is Alucard finally sinking himself inside you.

Your inner walls start to ache as Alucard inches his way inside of you, your arousal easing his passage as he starts to stretch you open. All the while, he kisses the cuts on your neck, apologising for your discomfort whilst also lapping up the final few drops of virgin blood from your skin.

When Alucard finally stops moving, you moan, overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside you. Finally, after all this time, you know what it feels like to be one with him; all you can say is that it was well worth the wait.

Despite the slight discomfort, you try to move your hips, only for Alucard to pin you down with one of his strong hands. ‘Unless you want me to flood your womb right this second, stay still. Please…’ His voice is harsh, but laced with desperation, like he’s going to fall apart at the slightest provocation. You can’t help but feel a hint of pride at the thought that your body feels so nice, it’s reduced him to desperation without even having to do much. It’s almost enough to make you ignore his request entirely, but for his sake, you stay still, savouring the feeling instead.

After what feels like a lifetime, Alucard sighs, his hold on your hip loosening. ‘Good girl. Thank you, my love. I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I’d finished that quickly. If you’re ready, I think I’d like to begin.’ You’re quick to nod at that, almost squealing with delight as Alucard slowly begins to slip out of you, only to thrust back in gently before he fully leaves your body.

It doesn’t take long for Alucard to find a rhythm, one hand gripping your thigh tightly as it’s twin grips the headboard. All the while, he does his best to keep eye contact with you, his golden iris’ filled with love for you as he continues to thrust. You struggle to keep your own eyes open, so lost to pleasure. If this is what it’s like making love to Alucard, then you never want to stop. You want him like this every single night, for as long as you live. Nothing beats the feeling of having him inside you, and despite how sore you think you’re going to be in the morning, there is nothing that could ever stop you wanting him like this.

Alucard’s breathing starts to become laboured, the exercise intense despite his supernatural nature. ‘I’m not sure how much longer I can continue this. Are you close?’ He’s struggling with the pleasure that much? At least you’re not the only one completely enraptured by the feeling of sex…

You shake your head, trying your best to smile at him. ‘Not really, but it’s okay. I already had an orgasm.’ As much as you’re enjoying this, if it’s hurting Alucard, you’re content to stop; there’s always next time.

Your statement makes Alucard growl, before he changes his position, wrapping his arms around your body before shifting his weight onto his knees again and taking you with him.

The new angle forces him deeper inside you, and you scream his name, grabbing onto his shoulders for dear life as he grips your hips, easily lifting you on and off his cock as he thrusts his hips.

His pace once again established, Alucard buries his face between your breasts, his mouth kissing and sucking the soft skin before he finally finds a nipple, and takes it into his mouth eagerly. His sucking and biting makes you tense around him, a second orgasm starting to form. The way he’s working your body makes your legs feel weak, but that doesn’t stop you trying to grip his body between them, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

With his thrusts becoming more erratic, Alucard shifts one of his hands, teasing your clit with his thumb as he tries not to completely lose his pace. You can feel his desperation with every thrust, the urge for him to get you off first his clear motivation. Just a little longer, he just needs to keep going a little longer…

Tearing his mouth away from your breast, Alucard bites down hard between your neck and shoulder, his fangs sinking into your body as you finally orgasm, your walls squeezing his cock tightly as pleasure washes over you.

Another few thrusts has Alucard spilling himself inside you with a grunt, your walls milking him as he withdraws his fangs, his tongue lapping at the wounds like a starving beast.

Finally, after a few minutes, your orgasm subsides, your whole body feeling weightless as Alucard carefully lays you down onto the bed, a few apologetic kisses on your neck as he slips his softening cock out of you.

Smiling, Alucard brushes some hair, somewhat slick with sweat, away from your forehead, before leaning down to kiss your lips. ‘That was incredible, my love. I’ve never felt anything like that before. Thank you for sharing your body with me like that. It is a gift I shall always treasure.’ He kisses you again, and you deepen it, stroking his hair as your lips mold together.

Pulling away for air, you smile lazily, bringing your begringged hand up for Alucard to look at. ‘No, thank you, Adrian Tepes, for sharing your life with me, and for trusting me as you do. It means more to me than anything.’ And as long as you’re together, it always will.

Kissing your ring, Alucard settles next to you on the bed, before he wraps his arms around you. Too tired to even consider protesting, you settle comfortably against his chest, barely registering him covering you both with the bedding as you drift off into an easy sleep.

Finally, you know what it’s like to be one with the man you love, and you couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last... Smut o3o 
> 
> Thank you all again for being so patient, and for reading the fic at all. It makes us both feel so warm and fuzzy inside when we seen how much love the fic gets, and we wholeheartedly appreciate each and every one of you. So thank you, and until next time, we hope you have enjoyed what you've read so far...
> 
> ... Just know that it's far from over
> 
> Due to life constraints, this fic will be updated as soon as possible.


	45. Evermore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, thank you all for the positive comments with the last chapter! It definitely motivated us a lot and made our days. With that said, enjoy this angsty and fluffy chapter :3

As the early morning sun begins to bathe the castle with light, Alucard’s eyes slowly begin to open, his thoughts already preoccupied with the ball of warmth at his side.

Last night… He could sit here for hours and write poem after poem describing how perfect it was. She was so soft, and welcoming, and her omnipresent promise of love helped keep his demons away far longer than anything else he’s ever tried. In fact, the more he recalls last night, the more distant the memories of his first time become, fading away into the back of his mind as he listens to soft snores and a steady heartbeat.

As far as Alucard is concerned, last night was his first night. What happened with Taka and Sumi was little more than exercise.

It wasn’t lovemaking, like last night was. Oh, but he is eager to do it again, now that he knows just how well his body fits with that of his love. Like two parts of a whole being, finally coming together in sighs of passion. Yes, this is what sex should be about, to him, at least. A physical act to further cement the emotional connection they share.

Carefully stretching as to not wake his bedmate, Alucard’s eyes trail over her body, appreciating the small amount of her that isn’t covered up by bedding. Her hair is messy today, but he loves it. He loves every part of his fiancé, the woman who has chosen to spend her life with him. In fact, while he has her in his arms, perhaps he can demonstrate that love? It is basically breakfast time anyway, and after all that exercise last night, he owes her nothing less than a feast.

Smiling to himself, Alucard begins inching the blanket away from her, watching as more and more skin comes into view. A few kisses on her body should be a good way to wake her. Then, when she’s awake, he’ll kiss her lips, thank her for last night. Maybe he’ll even tease that he’d like to explore her again later? If she’s up to it, of course; she lacks his own rapid physical recovery time, and he knows it is far more taxing to be penetrated than it is to penetrate.

As he moves the blanket past her hips, all of Alucard’s joy turns to dread.

There’s so many bruises. They cover her hips and thighs, a grim representation of his vulgar lack of self-control. How tightly did he grab her to cause this much damage? He knows he is the one to blame, owing to the fact that each bruise seems to match his fingers perfectly. He did this to her, the woman he loves… For the first time in a while, he feels physically sick.

His lover sighs, shifting her body away from him, and making his sickness grow even further; her neck. He… he did that?

Yes, he did. He remembers it now with shocking clarity. He was on the edge, so desperate to reach climax inside her, but she wasn’t ready. So he endured, trying harder and harder to get her to that point. All the while, her blood practically sang to him, begging him to have another taste. So he did. He indulged in the worst of his baser instincts, and now, there is a chance he has scarred her permanently. 

The truly dreadful thing is the way she fell apart around his cock at the act.

She will hate him for this. If not that, then she’ll at least be angry. Furious, even. Her first time with a man, and how did he treat her? He bruised and he bit her, all for the sake of his own satisfaction. 

Oh, but it was such sweet satisfaction; the flavour of her blood at the peak of ecstasy…

No, he needs to stop that. Right now, he needs to make this right. Apologise to her for being so rough. Spend the day pampering her. Remind her that while he was rough in bed, he can be soft with her. His future wife, the only one that ever gets to see him at his most vulnerable…

She shifts again, readying herself to wake up, and Alucard braces himself for her reaction when she notices the state of her body.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Not for the first time since you came to live in the castle, you wake up aching.

At least this time, it’s not a painful ache. Nothing is broken, to the best of your knowledge, and you don’t think there’s any cuts. No, there’s just a dull ache in your thighs, like you’ve spent too long running, and a stinging sensation on one side of your neck that itches slightly. These pains didn’t come from being attacked by a group of merciless bastards, either…

… They came from Alucard, when he finally claimed your first time.

Last night… You had no idea how great sex with Alucard would be. Sure, you had every confidence that he’d make you enjoy it, but it went past that. It was joyous, and wonderful, and you’d do it again in a heartbeat, aching body be damned. In fact, in some ways, you never want the ache to end. To want to be reminded of what he did to you each and every moment of the day, closing your eyes and remembering his hot breath on your neck, and his slender fingers clinging onto your thighs for dear life as he fucked you like a man possessed. In fact, you’re quite certain he was possessed, or at the very least driven mad with love for you. It was sensational, and you want to do it again as soon as he wants to.

If he wants to at all, that is.

As much as you enjoyed it, there’s no guarantee he felt the same. After what happened with Taka and Sumi, maybe he’s more ambivalent towards sex. Maybe to him, it’s little more than the mashing together of two bodies for sexual pleasure, a meaningless act that is admittedly fun to do…

Ridiculous. You weren’t imagining what happened last night. You could feel the love behind every thrust, see it in his eyes. If anything, this might help him see the difference between sex with them and lovemaking with you. What happened last night, and what happened to him before you came here, couldn’t be further apart in intent, and Alucard will know that. If he doesn’t, you’ll just have to keep doing it until it sinks in!

Before you get the chance to open your eyes, you feel Alucard’s lips against your face, peppering your skin with tender kisses that make you want to melt. Allowing your eyelids to flutter open, you smile up at him, raising a tired arm to stroke his face.

Alucard grabs your offered hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it repeatedly before working his way down your arm. You’re not sure if you should giggle or moan, his kisses ticking you while his head scrapes against your sensitive nipples. At this point, he’s going to have you worked up again. Maybe that’s his intention? He must have really enjoyed last night then, if he’s willing to go again this soon.

Grinning with anticipated satisfaction, you thread your fingers through his hair, coaxing his mouth towards your chest. ‘Good morning, Adrian.’ You manage to get his head directly above your nipple, but he pulls away, lifting his head and allowing his golden eyes to pierce straight into your soul. He isn’t looking at you like he was last night, his gaze filled with love and lust; instead, all you can see is concern, with the slightest hint of pain.

Sitting yourself up, you place your hands on his shoulders, offering him a concerned look of your own. ‘Adrian? What’s wrong? Was it last night? Was I… did it bring up bad memories for you?’ That’s all you can think of to explain the way he’s looking at you. Either that, or he’s worried that you didn’t enjoy it, as absurd an idea as that is.

Alucard’s lips morph into an easy smile, but the emotions hidden in his eyes remain unchanged. ‘No, it did not. What happened last night was nothing like the event you’re thinking of. You are so full of love for me, and I felt it. Every little gasp and moan felt like a confession, and the way your body tightened around me… I could have stayed inside of you like that for hours, our bodies and souls entwined. It was the ultimate form of perfection, contained within a single evening, and I shall treasure the memory of it for the rest of my life.’ You lean up to kiss him then, and he doesn’t protest, one of his hands cradling the back of your head as his lips move against yours.

Pulling away for breath after what feels like days, you have to fight the urge to jump straight back in, determined to get to the truth hidden in his eyes. ‘If that’s the case, why do you look so sad, Adrian? Last night was the best night of my life, and if you enjoyed it too, I don’t see any reason to be upset.’ To be honest, you’re just happy he did enjoy last night; that means your memories are real, and something you yourself intend to treasure just as much as he does.

Alucard sighs, and the sound breaks your heart as his smile fades. ‘Because I was selfish and careless. You trusted me to treat you with the utmost care, and I betrayed you. I should have been gentle, considerate of your needs. Instead, I was rough and hasty. I was so focused on myself, on taking what I wanted, that I forgot that. I wish I could fix that, but I can’t. And hearing you call it the best night of your life, after what I did, breaks my heart, because it should have been so much better than that. Perhaps in the future, you would grant me a second chance to make love, so I can treat you like a lover should…’ What? What the… what is he talking about?!

You can only shake your head at that, confusion rushing through your mind. ‘What are you talking about? Are you sure it was me you made love to last night? Because as I recall it, you were as generous and caring as you always are when we do anything intimate. You took the time to prepare me, rather than just forcing your way in and hoping for the best, and you deliberately denied yourself just so you could make me climax. Explain how any of that makes you a bad lover, or a bad person in general?’ Besides, he really was gentle with you. You’ve seen for yourself just how much strength he possesses. If he wanted to, he could have left you broken and terrified, but he didn’t. If anything, after last night, you feel whole.

Averting his eyes, Alucard answers your question in a voice too small for his usually confident persona. ‘Look at your thighs, my love.’ Your thighs? Why? Is there something wrong with them? Sure, they ache, but you don’t see…

Oh. Well, that certainly explains things.

Your thighs are littered with dark bruises, and from the shape of them, they look like they were caused by his strong fingers as he made sweet love to you. That must be why he’s disgusted with himself; they look a lot worse than they feel.

Touching the bruises gingerly, you hiss, the skin rather sensitive to the touch. Rather than being angry or upset with Alucard however, a different emotion flows through your veins; want. Just looking at them reminds you just how much of a hold you had over Alucard last night. That he wanted you so much that he gripped your thighs tight enough to bruise, as if you might slip away from his grasp… You’ve been bruised before, but this is an entirely different thing.

Tracing the outline of them with a finger, you smile, memories of last night swimming in your mind. ‘They’re only bruises, Adrian. They’ll fade with time, but I’m not sure that I want them to. They’re evidence of what we just did, and I’m proud of them. Besides, I know you didn’t want to hurt me. You were just so excited that you were a little rough, and that’s fine. I enjoyed it all the same, and I know if I’d told you to stop, you would have. This isn’t like when you found me in the river. They barely even hurt, anyway, so it’s fine. Just one more ache that comes with making love.’ You place your hand on his chest to reassure him, and he covers it with one of his own, grasping it firmly as if he's not certain it’s even real.

Still, the pain in his eyes refuses to dissipate. ‘They might fade, but your neck…’ what about it? When he drank from you? It’s not the first time he made an incision, and that healed fine. Unless it was his bite that left a mark?

Reaching over to a nearby chest, Alucard retrieves a hand mirror, offering it to you so you can inspect the damage yourself. Trying to hide the flush that creeps up your cheeks when you see the beautiful mess Alucard made of your body, you bring it up to examine your neck, heading to the side when the bite was inflicted.

This time, you yelp.

On the side of your neck are two perfect holes, a good inch or two apart. While they’re no longer bleeding, they look raw, like they might start again if you catch them on something. There’s even some slight bruising around them, no doubt caused by the trauma of his fangs sinking into your flesh. Yes, there is a good chance this could leave yet another scar on your body, but you’d be lying if you said you hated this one as much as you hate the others.

Examining the puncture wounds from another angle, you notice Alucard’s pained expression in the mirror, clearly expecting a comment on the state of your body. ‘Does a bite like this mean something in vampire society?’ It seems a silly question given that his concern lies more with the wound itself, but you’re curious.

Alucard seems taken aback by that, his brow furrowing. ‘What meaning could a mark like that have?’ Why is he asking that? He’s the one that made it in the first place.

You shrug, putting the mirror down. ‘It could mean that you’ve claimed me? And you marked me like that to scare the other vampires away from you human. Either that, or maybe you’ve converted me? Am I a vampire now?’ Can he even do that?! He’s only half a vampire, there’s no reason he could be without that particular power.

To your great relief, Alucard chuckles. ‘I think the ring on your finger sends a far clearer message. As for turning you… No, that is not the reason, nor would I do that without your consent. I would struggle to, in any case. Not only do I have to intend to turn you when I bite, you would have to drink my blood in return. A blood pact between vampire and sire, though I know of a few other ways to turn a human. The simple reason I decided to take a drink was that your blood… Alright, so I may have kept one simple truth from you. There is one thing sweeter than the blood of a virgin, but it’s so difficult to obtain, and I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

‘The only thing sweeter than virgin blood is the blood of a human in the throes of ecstacy. The moment the pleasure fades, the blood returns to normal, hence why it is so difficult to obtain; you can’t bottle pleasure. That’s why I decided to taste you. I could not resist the way your blood called out to me. I should have asked you first, but even if I did, I’m not sure having the consent of a woman half mad with lust counts as consent at all. That’s why I made an impulsive choice to help myself. I am so dreadfully sorry.’ So not only is he worried about the scar, he’s worried about taking your blood? This anxiety must surely be a result of his experiences with Taka and Sumi, and the underlying fear he might lose you. As if you could ever leave him…

Crawling on aching legs, you settle yourself on Alucard’s lap, content to speak only when he puts his arms around you. ‘I’m not upset with you. Why would I be? I gave you permission to drink my blood, after all. I know you’d never take too much. In fact, if you’re willing, why don’t I let you have another taste? You’ll have to guide me into ecstasy first though…’ You shift slightly to grant your hand access to his half-hard cock, wrapping your fingers around it and working him in teasing strokes.

Alucard pulls your hand away with a laugh, the worry finally gone. ‘My, but you are a delightful temptress, aren’t you? I’m glad I had the good sense to make you my wife. You’d have been so wasted as a mere mistress…’ That’s the opposite to what you’ve heard most people say. Shouldn’t it be the boring wife and the insatiable mistress?

When you ask him that, Alucard leans in close, his lips tickling your ear. ‘Ah, but it works so much better this way, you see. If I have an insatiable wife, then what need have I for a mistress?’ He’s got a point there. Several in fact, as his fangs brush against the shell of your ear.

You’re about to throw yourself back onto the bed and spread yourself wide for him, when Alucard pulls his mouth away, kissing the top of your head as he goes. ‘However, first and foremost, you are a freshly deflowered virgin, and I won’t risk damaging you by doing too much too soon. No, if you really wish to please me, I want you to let me take care of you. Let me bathe you, pamper you, massage all those little aches until they fade away to nothing. It would be good practice for you, as my future wife, to allow me to treat you like the queen you are…’ As nice as more lovemaking would be, when he puts it like that, how can you resist?

Cuddling into his broad chest, you hum as he strokes your back, his hands warm against your bare back. ‘Alright, but only if you promise to bathe with me.’ It’s something you’ve been curious about for a while now; is Alucard’s bath big enough for two?

Grabbing onto you tightly, Alucard stands, walking towards the bathroom with you nestled against his chest. ‘I was expecting you to put up more of a fight. Have you finally accepted that it’s okay to let me take care of you sometimes?’ When has that ever been an issue, considering the whole reason you came here to begin with?

Nudging his chest with your elbow, you giggle. ‘I always accept that. Have you accepted that making love with your fiancé is a wonderful thing, and something you can do many, many times in the future?’ Unless he’s going to change his mind, which you highly doubt; it takes a lot to change that mind if his once it’s made up.

Alucard pauses, smiling down at you. ‘I don’t accept that, but it isn’t true. The number of times I’ll be able to make love to my fiancé is finite.’ It’s what? Does that mean he doesn’t want you anymore? Have the bruises and the bites put him off forever?!

Noticing your worry, Alucard silences your fears with a single kiss, one full of a love that makes your heart flutter. ‘However, the number of times I’ll be able to make love to my wife? That is a number that can never be quantified.’ He continues walking to the bathroom, a wide smile on his face now. As for you, you’re hoping he’s serious about that last remark…

… Now that you’ve experienced lovemaking, you never want to stop. 

Just as well the two of you will be together for a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was fluffy and enjoyable, nothing like seeing these two lovebirds so happy <3
> 
> Also figured bruises that came from his strong grip while making love is nothing to someone that would get them on a daily basis when she was still a thief.
> 
> The chapter title is another Beauty and the Beast reference, since the song Evermore fits Alucard so well and I realized how perfect it would have been when RC had to leave the castle! But alas, I choose to use it here during this chapter instead. Enjoy the reference :3


	46. Stand-Off

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello,
> 
> We're back with a short one this time, as one of us is going to drop off the face of the internet for a week or so. Please enjoy ^.^

The two weeks following that first night of lovemaking go by in a haze.

For all that he joked about how insatiable you are, Alucard has proved himself to have quite the appetite for such things himself. To your great relief, he had taken your words of reassurance to heart, and while he has been noticeably gentler since that first night, it hasn’t put him off completely.

If anything, it’s the opposite.

Knowing that you want him as much as he clearly wants you seems to have sparked something inside him. No longer is he hesitant about touching you, about allowing the two of you to find pleasure in each other. Every night has been filled with lovemaking, and every morning with tender kisses, and the promise to repeat the previous night. While it had been a lot at first, now it’s starting to feel perfectly natural, allowing Alucard to slip inside you. Nothing beats the feeling of having his cock buried inside you, filling you up in a way that makes you feel whole.

Of course, making love hasn’t been the only thing on Alucard’s mind; every day he’s staring at your engagement ring, telling you time and again just how happy he is to have you as his bride-to-be. He’s been talking about how beautiful you’re going to look on your wedding day, something he intends to make sure of today; you’re both heading into town to have a wedding dress made.

Naturally, you insisted Sylvia be the one to make it, and Alucard had wholeheartedly agreed; her previous work has been so flawless, how could she not be the one to make it? Besides, it would feel so wrong, asking someone else after all that she’s done for you. You’re certain she’ll be delighted when you tell her your good news, and more than willing to make you a dress fit for a lady.

Even if you feel less than ladylike at the moment.

Before you left this morning, Alucard had made a point of bending you over the table at breakfast, pushing your dress up to your hips so he could slide a finger past your underwear and inside you. ‘I want to make something clear to you, if it wasn’t already. I am obscenely wealthy, with very few things to spend that wealth on. Do you know what that means?’ He’d started pulling his finger out then, only to thrust it back in, a second finger at its side.

You’d whimpered at that, trying to string together an answer. ‘You want me to spoil myself, don’t you?’ Does he really have to tease you like this? Couldn’t he just push his trousers down and take you already? You’re so used to him now, you’re certain there won’t be any pain.

Alucard had hummed, continuing his fingering unabated. ‘That’s right. I don’t want you to even consider the cost of your dress, or anything else that catches your eye. I want you to have everything you could ever dream of, and that includes a dress fit for my queen. Can you do that for me?’ He’d rubbed against you just right then, and you’d tried to get him to do it again, only for him to deliberately avoid the spot.

Frustrated, you’d groaned. ‘Anything you want, Adrian. Please do that again.’ At the rate he was going, he could have had you seeing stars in a few more clever motions…

… But then he’d stopped, withdrawing his hand and correcting your clothing.

The smug smile he’d given you is still plastered all over his face, and as you pout in recollection, it seems to grow even wider. ‘Are you still upset about my little tease at breakfast? I know it was mean, but needs must. I want to give you the world, but I know you’d never take it without persuasion.’ 

You sigh, somewhat irritated that he’s right. ‘I know that. Still, that was a cruel tease. Working me up like that, only to deny me, and tell me that you’ll finish once the dress is sorted…’ You’d almost cried when he’d told you that, so frustrated from his teasing. The things that man can do to your body with so little effort…

Alucard chuckles wickedly. ‘You have shown your true weakness, my queen. I know how much you enjoy making love to me, so it is easy to use that fact to my advantage. If you are that desperate however, I could always take you right now, so close to town that half the residents might hear you calling my name?’ Your cheeks warm instantly at that, imagining what it would be like if someone walked in on the two of you in such a delicate position. The mysterious man and his good lady love, having sex in the woods like animals. They would surely faint at such a sight!

Trying to block out the mental image, you shake your head. ‘It’s fine, Adrian. I’ll just be patient, as long as you’re content to wait. After all, it can’t be easy for you, filling me with your fingers when it’s really your cock you want shoved inside me.’ Alucard’s own face changes colour at that, taken aback by your brazen statement.

When he finally composes himself, Alucard’s voice is slightly strained. ‘Perhaps when you speak of dress specifications, you should choose a colour other than white? It is supposed to represent purity, and I daresay I’ve robbed you of that now.’ The two of you finally cross the border into town as he says that, one of his hands lacing together with yours almost possessively.

You lean up to kiss his cheeks, trying not to trip as you make your way to Sylvia’s shop. ‘I’d be inclined to agree with you there. I’m just glad my fiancé doesn’t mind having such a shameful future bride.’ You wink at him then, and he winks back, a hint of pride shining in his eyes.

While his issues with intimacy are far from cured, he’s at least confident when it comes to you.

Opening the familiar door, the two of you slip into Sylvia’s shop, surprised when there seems to be only the one person working today;

Seth.

That’s odd. Not that he’s here, considering this is where he works. No, the fact that he’s been left unattended is the curious thing. Can he also make dresses?

Realising who just walked in, Seth approaches you both with a wide smile, his eyes sparkling with joy. ‘Hi! I’m glad to see you both again. That dress you ordered is ready now. Are you here to collect?’ Oh, you’d almost forgotten about that! The beautiful blue gown you’d chosen on Seth’s recommendation the last time you were here… Sylvia really is quick with her dressmaking!

You’re about to answer, but Alucard interrupts before you get the chance. ‘Actually, we were hoping to speak to Sylvia about a new commission, but as she’s not here, we’ll come back later.’ He’s really going to leave without at least picking up your dress? That’s quite mean of him.

Noting Alucard’s intent, Seth shakes his head. ‘No, she’s here. Auntie Sylvia is just out the back with Miri. Did you want me to call for her?’ Miri? Who’s Miri? Another assistant of hers?

Your curiosity may have to wait, as Alucard still seems adamant to leave. ‘No need to trouble yourself. Come on, my love. We can pick up some of those honeyed cakes you’re so fond of.’ Ooo, honey cake! You definitely want honey cake…

… But not as much as you want to be fitted for your wedding dress.

So you look back at Alucard, folding your arms across your chest. ‘I don’t think she’d think it troublesome, Adri- Genya. We are her clients, after all. Besides, the sooner I get fitted for my wedding dress, the sooner we can marry!’ You clamp a hand over your mouth the second you say that, fully aware that you’ve allowed your cover to slip. Shit, what is Seth going to say to that?!

Instead of looking at you both with suspicion or disgust, Seth’s smile seems to grow wider. ‘Congratulations, you two! I knew there had to be a reason you weren’t wearing a ring. Your husband, or fiancé I suppose, doesn’t seem like the type not to buy wedding rings. It looks like he got a bit too eager when he celebrated though!’ Seth points to your neck jovially, and you try your best to cover the still-healing mark there with your hair. If he notices that it’s an actual bite rather than a love bite, and notices the clear indent of two fangs… 

Thankfully, Sylvia appears before you have to explain yourself, an unfamiliar look of apprehension on her face. ‘Ah, my favourite couple. Do you perhaps have something you’d like to announce? A special commission, perhaps?’ She knew. Alucard must have told her his intentions at some point, probably to preemptively book her to make the dress. Just how long has he been planning to propose?

Deciding against pleading ignorance, you stretch out your hand, showing your engagement ring to Sylvia. ‘I’m going to need a wedding dress, please.’ 

All of the apprehension fades from Sylvia’s face, replaced by awe and excitement. ‘I knew it! I knew you’d say yes! Oh, this is such wonderful news!’ She’s quick to rush over to you, pulling you into a tight hug before pulling back and placing her hands on your shoulders. ‘I’ll have you in the finest dress I’ve ever made. Have you set a date yet? I’d rather not rush this, but if there’s a deadline to be met, I’ll work day and night to finish it. You’re going to be a vision on your big day. I take it the budget is flexible as always?’ She looks to Alucard at that last part, hoping he’s still his usual generous self.

Some of Alucard’s earlier tension seems to have dissipated, the thought of you in a wedding dress probably doing a lot to distract him. ‘Whatever it costs. Spare no expense on this. I want everything to be perfect, as if it could be anything less with her by my side…’ he strokes your hair at that, and you have to fight the urge to collapse into a puddle on the floor.

A few tears form in the corner of Sylvia’s eyes, causing her to unhand you so she can wipe them away. ‘I think you’d marry her in a cloth sack if you had to, but I won’t let that happen. Now, if you’d like to wait out here with Seth, I think ya ladies have a lot to discuss in private. Come on, dear.’ With that, she guides you into the backroom, leaving Alucard alone with Seth.

You get the feeling that isn’t going to end well.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Alucard has decided his best course of action is to ignore Seth.

While it might be considered impolite, he doesn’t particularly care. He has no desire to make small chat with the over-friendly blonde. No, he’d much rather be listening to his wife, making sure she keeps up her end of the bargain while receiving tantalising hints of what he has to look forward to. She is going to be a vision…

These past two weeks have been a dream, and he’s not entirely certain they’re not. Maybe he died that night, and somehow found his way into heaven? That would explain how that angel came to make love to him, and is still willing to fill his nights with endless pleasure. It gives him the perfect chance to worship her in return, his personal favorite being when he gets to run his hands all over her body, tending to her aches with well-placed rubs and squeezes…

Oh, but she’s right. This morning was as much as torture for him as it was for her. 

Despite his best efforts to be standoffish, it seems like Seth isn’t going to take the hint, his voice cutting into Alucard’s thoughts like a fly buzzing around in his subconscious. ‘So, are you looking forward to the big day?’ What an inane question, barely worth answering.

Alucard keeps his answer curt. ‘Obviously, or I would never have asked for her hand.’ Why is he incapable of standing in silence? Is he so bored that he’d deliberately irritate a customer who does not wish to speak?

Seth sighs, shaking his head. ‘You know, you really need to work on your jealousy issues. Not every guy that smiles at her is trying to get under her skirt.’ What? Jealous? Him? 

Alucard scoffs. ‘Don’t be absurd. I have no reason to be jealous of you, or any other man. She is to be my wife, and she’s too honest a person to go back on such vows.’ His sweet, innocent fiancé couldn’t lie to him even if she tried, an endearing trait that reassures him immensely. Besides, she never leaves the castle unattended after what happened that day in the forest, so when would she even find time to initiate and maintain an affair? 

Not that other men wouldn’t try. Despite Seth claiming other men don’t want under her skirts, she is far too beautiful not to have admirers. It’s not jealousy that would have him chase those men away, but courtesy; he doesn’t want her to have to deal with such things, so he preempts the inevitable.

Folding his arms over his chest, Seth nods once. ‘Good. So there’s no need to be so cold, yeah? If I was really trying to seduce your wife, Mr Arikado, you’d know about it. As it is, I have less than no interest in pursuing her. Is that reassurance enough for you to stop acting like an arse?’ How dare he? It’s not like Alucard is being out of line just because he’s being quiet! He just can’t be bothered with Seth today, and that includes these stupid questions.

Crossing his own arms, Alucard glares at Seth. ‘I don’t think I’ve said or done anything unreasonable. I am a customer, am I not? If I wish to stand in silence, without being hassled by the errand boy, that is my perogative, is it not? Or have the rules of shopping etiquette changed recently without my knowledge?’ At this rate, Sylvia may well be in danger of losing a customer; having to deal with Seth every visit would become tiring.

Seth sighs, dropping his hands to the side. ‘Fine. Stand in total silence and pretend I don’t exist.’ He chuckles then, so softly that Alucard would have to strain to hear it, were it not for his supernatural abilities. ‘I suppose you’re going to want to enjoy silence while it lasts. After marriage comes kids, and you’ll never get any peace and quiet then.’ That’s enough. Alucard can’t take this anymore. Being lectured about his so-called jealousy is one thing, but having a total stranger stick his nose into his personal business…

Alucard huffs. ‘I have no desire to listen to this. I shall wait outside, where my thoughts shan’t be disturbed by you again.’ He gives Seth no time to reply, turning on his heel and practically sprinting out the front door.

It isn’t until he reaches a nearby secluded spot in an alleyway nearby that Alucard finally allows silent tears to fall, Seth opening a wound he had assumed closed without meaning to.

For all that he can give his future wife, children will always be the one thing forever out of their reach. He wishes more than anything that he is wrong, that by some miracle they could conceive, but it is a fantasy. While she may have accepted the fact they won’t have children, he can’t bring himself to do that. It’ll torment him in his lowest moments, and remind him that there is one clear reason why he should be jealous of Seth;

He can give her things that Alucard can’t.

The day now tastes bitter in Alucard’s mouth. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Seth lets out a frustrated sigh, disappointed in Alucard for running away so easily. He could have so easily insisted once again that his life is none of Seth’s business, but instead he ran, presumably going off to lick his wounds somewhere.

His pride is troubling, and it won’t serve him well in the future.

Looking at the fabric concealing the fitting room, Seth smiles to himself when he hears three distinctive laughs, the people hidden behind cloth clearly enjoying whatever it is they’re doing. If only Alucard hadn’t fled, he may have had the chance to enjoy that laughter for himself.

It may have given him an idea.

Still, what does Seth know? How could Seth possibly understand Alucard, or the pain he tries so desperately to hide? How could he know that mentioning children would touch a nerve so deeply it caused the other man to abandon thy which he holds most dear? How could Seth know what it’s like to look at another man speaking to the woman he loves, and feel threatened by all the things the stranger could offer that he can’t?

Nothing. Why would he?

Seth can’t help but mutter to himself, confident no one will hear. ‘Idiot. Too proud to notice when help is staring him right in the face.’ Well, more like advice. There is some help that other people can’t give you, and this is something Alucard needs to do for himself, or for his wife, at least.

If he was to just cast away his pride for one moment…

Perhaps one day. For now, all Seth can do is hope that day comes sooner, rather than later.

It would be better for all of them that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... So, what's his game? Why is there laughter? Why am I asking all these question when I know the answers? o3o
> 
> All (or something at least) will be revealed soon. For now, thank you for reading, and hope to see you again ^.^


	47. Planning the Wedding Dress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First thing's first, apologies for dropping off the map. We both had lost our writing and inspiration for quite a while. Secondly, we wanted to let you know that there will be many more chapters to come in the New Year! They might not be as rapidly posted as when we started the fic but this fic is no where near finished :) Thirdly and finally, we wanted to post the latest chapter today as an early Christmas Present to all our wonderful readers. Without further ado, enjoy~

Alucard has no idea how long he’s been standing in the alleyway. Minutes? Hours? Is his fiancé still being fitted, or is she in the shop waiting for him?

He’d strain his ears to find out, but he doesn’t want to know. Not right now. Not when he’s feeling like this. She deserves him at his best, especially on a day like this, and he is far from his best after what Seth said. At the very least, he’ll stay here until he can fake a smile, and then he’ll go back to her.

Taking a deep breath, Alucard almost leaps across town when he feels a soft tap on his shoulder. ‘Excuse me, sir, but are you feeling alright? You don’t look well.’ That’s not a voice Alucard recognises. It’s female, of that he’s certain, and it’s soft. Too soft, almost, like a voice one would use to address a child. That’s hardly the proper way to speak to a man like Alucard, but it almost amuses him. The human, talking to a monster as if he were a small boy…

Alucard is quick to stand tall, putting on the greatest air of pride he can muster. ‘I’m quite alright, thank you. I fear my fiancé is taking a little too long looking at dresses, and I took a slight turn. I shall be fine once I’ve had some air.’ Out of politeness, he decides to turn and face the stranger, and he almost has to do a double take. 

While she pales in comparison to his lover, this woman is rather beautiful in a way. She is definitely not a local, as Alucard is certain he’d recognise her face. Her dress looks to be of a modestly priced material, but the craftsmanship of it makes him think it’s one of Sylvia’s pieces. That at least explains why she’s here; she must be collecting or making an order. Well, if she is waiting, it might be a while, considering the immensity of his fiancé’s order…

The stranger smiles, and the spark in her eyes tells Alucard it’s genuine. ‘Congratulations! I take it she’s looking at wedding dresses? If that’s the case, it’s probably a good thing you came out here. I might have skinned my husband alive if he caught sight of me in mine before the day!’ Ah, so she’s married then? That makes sense. Alucard has heard horror stories of what happens to women who travel alone (in fact, his kind seem to be in most of those stories), so it stands to reason she moved here with a husband.

Finding this woman’s talking to be an improvement on Seth’s, and with no desire to return just yet, he decides to indulge in his curiosity. ‘Indeed she is. Have you ever had the chance to look at Sylvia’s designs?’ Clearly she has, but remaking upon it would be foolish, especially when he’s not certain.

Unsurprisingly, the woman grabs at her skirts, and does a small twirl. ‘Of course! Sylvia makes the finest dresses in town, and everyone with taste knows it. I just popped in to see if she’s finished with my maternity wear yet.’ Just the mention of the word ‘maternity’ is enough to send Alucard back into his depressive thoughts. It’s as if the entire world is taunting him now, reminding him that for all that he loves his wife-to-be, his life will never feel truly complete thanks to his own cursed birth…

Still, for the sake of the stranger, Alucard puts on a brave face. ‘Congratulations. I imagine your husband is delighted.’ If he’s not, then that might just tip Alucard over the edge. As irrational as it is, the thought of another man rejecting such a gift is sickening.

To his great relief, the woman nods. ‘More than a little. He almost fainted when I told him. For years he kept telling me that he wasn’t good enough, that we’d never have children. Then, one day, I woke up and I just knew that we’d done it. That despite what he thought, we’d made it happen. That’s the thing about love you see, Mr Tepes. No matter how hopeless things seem, there’s always a way. Even if we hadn’t been granted a miracle, I would have made my own. After all, as miraculous to us as a child is, how miraculous do you think parents would be to a child that has none?’ A child that has none? Like his fiancé, as she grew up?

Alucard turns his head away, thinking for a moment. ‘I suppose that would also be a mi-‘ he stops a moment, going back over the stranger’s words. ‘Wait, how do you know my name?’ He snaps his head back to face her, only to be met with an empty alleyway; whoever that woman was, she’s gone now.

The bizarre encounter that just took place had Alucard almost as shaken as Seth’s comments. Who was that woman? What does she know about him?

Alucard would like to ponder it further, but a familiar voice catches his attention; it sounds like she has settled on a design.

For a moment, Alucard considers asking his fiancé to wait while he tries to find the strange woman, but he thinks better of it, certain that the last thing any woman would want on the day she selects her wedding dress is to be abandoned while her betrothed looks for another. Besides, perhaps having her at his side, and being reminded of how much she loves him will help with his mood? 

Alucard doesn’t waste a moment longer in the alleyway, heading back towards the shop as he ponders the stranger’s parting question. What would parents be to a child that has none?

He’d ask the question to the only woman who knows for sure, if only he didn’t have to explain who put the question there in the first place.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Choosing a wedding dress is harder than you’d thought.

While you’ve only been in here discussing things for a few moments, you’re already feeling overwhelmed. Sylvia had been quick to whip out samples of fabrics and potential designs, some of them so beautiful they make your heart lurch. To think that soon you’ll be wearing a dress just like these… it’s almost enough to make you cry.

Noticing your struggle, Sylvia places a hand on your shoulder. ‘It’s alright, dear. We have plenty of time to figure this out. It’s important not to rush such an important decision. Have you at least decided if you’d like a traditional white dress, or something more modern?’ After what Alucard said this morning, you’re not sure. Would it be wrong to wear a white dress, considering you’re not exactly pure…

Blushing slightly, you decide to explain your reasoning to Sylvia. ‘I think a white dress might be a little… lost on me.’ Your hands fiddle with your dress, wondering what Sylvia’s response to such an admission will be; you’re hoping it’ll be positive at least, considering how much she’s been trying to get Alucard to sleep with you.

To your great relief, Sylvia smirks. ‘It was the underwear, wasn’t it? I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. Nevertheless, the idea that only virgins can wear white is horribly outdated. I wore white at mine, and there wasn’t a guest in sight that would think me a virgin. If it’s a white dress you want, that’s what you’ll have!’ That’s a point. You’ve not really put much thought into this. Do you want a white dress? It is traditional, and given that you’re marrying a gentleman like Alucard, it would feel right…

Before you can think of an answer, the door behind Sylvia opens, and a small child walks into the room, clutching a tray of buttons. ‘I think I’m finished with my- oh! Oh no! I’m so sorry! Please don’t hurt me!’ The child looks up at you, eyes wide in terror as you take a moment to examine the newcomer. 

The child is a little girl, no more than seven if you had to guess. The dress hanging off of her too-small frame is dirty, but it looks freshly mended, a few cleaner patches of fabric sewn on with care. Her hair seems to be more knots than strands, and the large eyes staring up at you are a familiar shade of blue, one you could swear you’ve seen before…

Trying to calm the child, you smile at her. ‘That’s alright. Have you been sorting out the buttons?’ You geasure to the tray, and the small child recoils, twisting her body in an attempt to hide her treasure.

Sylvia places a reassuring hand on the child’s head. ‘It’s alright, Miriam. This lady won’t shout at you like the last one did. You were just looking for me, and there’s nothing wrong about that. Isn’t that right, Ms Arikado?’ Despite the reassurance, the child- Miriam- still looks as if you’re planning to strike her at any moment!

Maintaining your smile, you nod, looking Miriam in the eyes. ‘That’s right. It was just an honest mistake. You weren’t to know I was in here, too. Syl- we were just talking about my wedding dress. Making one, that is.’ You’re glad you managed to catch yourself there; it’s very clear this child is Sylvia’s daughter. It makes perfect sense, after all. A small child, working with a tailor, wearing a freshly-mended dress. The dirt and slight malnourishment could come from the fact Sylvia has many children, and may be struggling to make ends meet. You’ll have to make sure Alucard is especially generous to her, if she’s fallen on such hard times…

A small light flickers in Miriam’s eyes. ‘Wedding dress? Like when people get married?’ Bless her heart. She must be young indeed if she’s not entirely sure what a wedding is.

You nod. ‘Yes, that’s right. I’m going to get married soon. I just have to figure out what kind of dress to wear.’ Not that you’re going anywhere fast with that, considering you’re still struggling on a colour!

Abandoning her buttons on a nearby table, Miriam looks up at you, her eyes this time wide with pleading. ‘I help? I want to help make you pretty for your wedding.’ The look of pleading soon turns to terror. ‘No, you are pretty! I mean more pretty! Please don’t be upset with me.’ As if you could. It’s clear she’s trying so hard to be Sylvia’s little helper. How could you possibly turn down such a sweet little girl?

You give her your widest smile. ‘Wow, my very own personal fashion advisor? I’d love that!’ You hope Miriam doesn’t think your enthusiasm is fake; you’d hate to dishearten her.

Miriam grins. ‘Yay, I help! So, what does a wedding dress look like?’ She turns to face Sylvia then, her eyes pleading for knowledge.

Sylvia chuckles. ‘I’ll show you both some of my previous designs. You can choose what you like from them. Also, have you decided on a colour?’ It shouldn’t be white, but you can’t help but want it to be. After all, you’re not as obviously non-virginal as Sylvia would, so who will know? It’s not like there’s even going to be many people at the wedding anyway…

Miriam runs over to a piece of white fabric, tugging on it gently. ‘This one, right? That’s what wedding dresses look like?’ For one so young, she has at least seen a wedding before, or so it would seem.

You nod. ‘That’s right, Miriam. A white dress is the tradition, although it’s not a requirement. Have you seen a wedding before?’ It could have been an elder sibling of hers. Are any of Sylvia children of marrying age?

To your surprise, Miriam shakes her head. ‘No, I just help with the buttons here. Sometimes ladies come in looking for wedding dresses, and I hear them talking. Then they see me, and call me bad names… the last lady tried to hit me.’ How could she?! It makes your blood boil, thinking someone could strike a child without reason. You only pray that the woman in question has none of her own; you know all-too well what it is to live with a parent who treats their children poorly and without care…

… Except you don’t. For all his flaws, your father did at least care. A small consolation prize, but a prize nonetheless. 

Your lips fall into a frown before you can stop them. ‘I’m not like them, I promise. I could never hurt a child, especially not a sweet little button like you.’ A treacherous voice in the back of your mind tells you that it doesn’t matter that much, considering you won’t be interacting with many children in your future, but you’re quick to silence it; today is a happy day, not a day for dwelling on what can’t be changed.

Looking back at her box on the table, Miriam frowns. ‘They didn’t hurt the buttons though?’ 

Sylvia immediately starts laughing, trying to stifle it behind her hand while he calms herself. ‘She meant you, Miri. You’re the little button.’ Oh dear. Maybe you shouldn’t have tried to give her a nickname? Will it only frighten and confuse her?

Miriam thinks for a moment before nodding. ‘I think I see. It’s like when people call me ‘Miri’, or ‘pest’, or ‘stop that’?’ Oh dear. Does she really get called the latter two so much that she thinks they’re nicknames? 

You shrug. ‘Sort of. But anyway, you think a white dress, then?’ It’s probably best to get her off the topic of people calling her names; you don’t want to upset her again.

After looking at the fabric again for a few moments, Miriam nods. ‘Yes. This colour. And I think you need that fabric that looks like it’s got holes, but makes a pattern, like a flower with five many leaves.’ Five many leaves? Why specifically that many?

Your confusion must show, because Sylvia decides to explain. ‘You know, it’s the strangest thing. One day, Miri came up to me with five apple seeds in her hand, and told me it was ‘five many’. It’s the only number she knows, but I have no idea where she learnt it.’ Odd. You didn’t think Sylvia was the kind of woman who would pay so little mind to her children. Then again, maybe some things slip her mind? 

You hum. ‘That does sound strange, but at least she knows what five is now. So, my dress needs to be white, and have a flower with five many leaves… anything else?’ While it may take longer deciding on a dress this way, you can’t deny that it is fun… you just hope Alucard doesn’t murder Seth in the meantime!

Miriam grins. ‘I have lots of ideas! But first I need to see the drawings, please.’ Oh, bless her little soul. If only you could have little buttons of your o-

No. You’ve already tried to go there once. No more.

Sylvia smiles, handing Miriam the drawings. ‘There you go, sweetheart. Just make sure to show Ms Arikado, too. This is her wedding, after all!’ And what a wonderful wedding it will be, finally becoming Mrs Tepes…

… All the more reason to focus on getting this dress sorted!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

You’re not sure how long the three of you spend trying to make the dress perfect, but you know it’s been a lot of fun.

There’s been plenty of laughter between you, Sylvia’s jovial nature and Miriam’s childlike innocence being the main sources of that. In fact, you’ve had such a lovely time that for a moment, you forgot that Alucard is waiting for you, and you’re supposed to be here on important wedding business. 

Speaking of, you’re at least pleased that somewhere amongst the laughter and chaos, the dress design has been finalised. Now all you need to do is pay the deposit and wait, and then your dress will be ready! Once that’s sorted, you need only find someone willing to marry the two of you, and your wedding will be complete!

Looking over at the final design once more, you pat Miriam’s head softly. ‘I think we did well, little button. What do you think?’ Hopefully she’s proud of her handiwork; you know you’ll be proud to wear it.

Miriam grins. ‘You’re going to be the prettiest ever!’ Bless her. There’s a part of you that wishes you could take her home with you, but you doubt Sylvia would allow that; six kids or no, she’d still notice one is missing.

Sylvia nods. ‘I think you’ve done excellent work today, Miri. I’ll be sure to give you a bit extra for helping.’ She deserves it. You’d have been so lost today without your little helper. 

You smile down at Miriam. ‘I’ll make sure we pay a little extra this time, for having a stylist working on the dress.’

Sylvia snorts playfully. ‘Your fiancé has a habit of paying over the odds, anyway. I do hope he doesn’t mind how long we’ve kept him waiting, but it is for the best. He might be in danger of shedding a tear when he sees you in it!’ You don’t doubt that. You may not even notice though, considering you’re likely to shed a few of your own…

Giving the design one final glance, you nod. ‘Well, let’s not keep him any longer, then. Would you like to meet him, Miri? May I call you Miri?’ You get the feeling she won’t, but it’s important to ask; you’d hate to upset her after all she’s done to help.

Miriam pouts, and you feel your heart sink. ‘I thought I was your little button?’ She looks like she’s about to burst into tears, and every fibre of your being yearns to comfort her. Is that what is meant by ‘maternal instincts?’ 

You smile softly. ‘You are a sweet little button, I’m sorry. Would you like to meet my fiancé? He’s very friendly, I promise.’ Then again, you’ve never seen Alucard around children before. Does he even like them? He seemed upset by the thought of never having them, but is that more of a bloodline thing? You don’t think so, but you can’t be certain… 

To your mild disappointment, Miriam shakes her head. ‘No, thank you. Strangers might hurt me. I’m going to go and tidy more.’ She makes to leave through the door, before pausing to speak to you one last time. ‘I hope your dress is pretty. Maybe I see you again soon?’ You hope so. You’d really like that. If you can’t have children of your own, then maybe you could be a bit like Sylvia? An auntie, but in action rather than by blood? Anything to fill that void would be better than nothing.

You smile. ‘Until then, little button. And thank you.’ Miriam smiles at you one final time before leaving, and you have a horrible feeling it’s the last you’re going to see of her…

Sylvia smiles. ‘Thank you for humouring her. She’s a sweet little darling, but she’s had a tough life. You’ve probably made her whole year by showing her such kindness.’ Are things really that hard for Sylvia’s family? Maybe you should have Alucard pay double for the dress, if he is as wealthy as he claims to be… 

You shrug. ‘I don’t think I was doing anything special. Besides, she was very helpful. I would have had such difficulty deciding without her. But for now, I think we’ve kept my lover waiting a little too long.’ As fun as this has been, it’ll be nice seeing Alucard again, if only to tease him about the dress you’ve just ordered.

A mischievous light flashes in Sylvia’s eyes. ‘Oh, of course. I’m sure he’s missing you terribly. Which reminds me, you won’t mind if I make you a little something for your wedding night, will you? As a little wedding present? Not that he needs any encouragement, but… well, it is fun teasing him, isn’t it?’ Oh, most definitely. The look in his eyes as he sees you in Sylvia’s creations… like he could devour you with his gaze alone.

You wink conspiratorially. ‘I wouldn’t say no. Just make sure not to tease him too much; he has little mercy for inconvenient fabric.’ It’s honestly amazing you have any left at all, really. For a man that loves you in sexy underthings, he seems to love the underthings more when they’re broken on the floor!

Pushing the fabric back, Sylvia gestures for you to walk into the main shop first. ‘No promises, dear. No promises.’ You both giggle about that as you walk together, only to be greeted by an unexpected sight:

Alucard is nowhere to be seen.

Your first instinct is to call out for him, but it’s Seth who answers. ‘He went off in a huff about something. Think I touched a nerve. He should be back, soon.’ Oh dear. Did Seth say something to upset him? It’s not like him to sulk like this in public; heaven forbid he make a scene, and draw attention to himself.

You’re about to ask when exactly he left, when the bell chimes, and Alucard walks into the shop, a slightly wary look in his eyes.

You’re quick to make your way over to him, embracing him tightly. ‘There you are. I was considering going out to search for you! Is everything alright?’ You know it’s not, that it can’t be, but you’d rather hear that for yourself.

Alucard hums thoughtfully. ‘That depends. Have you settled on a design?’ Why? What impact will that have?

Still, you nod. ‘I have, yes.’

Alucard leans down to kiss you, but keeps it brief. ‘Then everything is perfect, my love. As long as we are to marry as planned, things could not be better.’ It always makes you so weak at the knees when he talks like that. Always so charming, now that you’ve gotten close to him.

Still, you can’t help but agree; with him by your side, everything is perfect…

… Or as close to perfect as life is ever going to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience! I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as we did when coming up with it. Perhaps the next chapter will be a steamy one? Until then, hope you have a Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! Bye~! :)


	48. Just The Way You Are~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay we hope you enjoy this art of a chapter~ I only hope we've painted the picture well ;)
> 
> Yes the title is Just the Way You are by Bruno Mars :P

It’s been a few weeks since you ordered your dress at Sylvia’s, and you’re beginning to feel restless.

Despite being engaged and commissioning a dress, it hardly feels like you’re getting married at all. There’s been little talk of guests or of venues, or of priests and food. Life with Alucard feels much like it has since you first became lovers, the gentle weight of the ring on your finger the only tangible thing that has changed. It makes you wonder if you’ll ever marry at all…

Still, you’re best off not thinking about it. It’ll show on your face, and that would be a bad idea given your current situation.

For weeks now, Alucard has been trying to convince you to act as a model for him. You’d initially been quite keen, especially with his previous painting of you being so spectacular. 

Then he’d gone into detail, and you’d been quite scandalised.

You have no idea what sparked a desire in Alucard to paint you in the nude, but you’d been against it from the moment you’d heard such an idea. While it’s true that you rarely have guests, the mere thought of someone chancing upon a portrait of you without a slip of fabric on you had concerned you. Add to that the fact that it’ll be like looking into a mirror through Alucard’s eyes, and the thought scares you. You know he’ll do his best to capture your body as he sees it, flaws and all…

Still, you’re only human; you can only resist his charms for so long.

That’s why you’re currently sprawled out naked on the bed, last night’s bedsheet the only cover you have to hand, and even that is out of the question; every time you try to cover up, Alucard is quick to put a stop to it.

Thinking about your circumstances again causes you to shift, and Alucard tuts softly, placing his brush down carefully on his pallet. ‘Please try to keep still, my love. I want to make sure I do your beauty justice.’ If that was his intention, he’d only need to paint you quickly, with so little beauty to be captured…

You’re quick to dismiss that thought, pouting instead. ‘But I’m so cold, Adrian. Why do I have to be naked, anyway? Do I not look beautiful when I’m clothed? I could have worn my new gown…’ You’ve not had a chance to wear it yet, save for trying it on; a perfect fit, as always.

Alucard sighs. ‘Your beauty always shines through, my love. However, I must admit that it is at its most… noticeable, when you’re naked in our bed. I simply wish to capture it properly, to preserve the image of you permanently. Not that anybody other than myself shall ever see it. No, I am far too greedy to share this view with anyone, save for you.’ Well, he has to do that; it’s your body in the first place! If he really had an issue with you seeing it, he’d not be so keen to make you stand nude in front of the mirror every morning…

You stretch your arms, careful to put them back in the same position. ‘If you insist. I’d offer to paint you too, but I know I’d never do your godly body justice…’ A body which is at least partly on display for you to admire; one of your conditions for agreeing to this was that Alucard remove his shirt for you. 

With a slight smile, Alucard walks over to you, grabbing your wrists and repositioning them. ‘I could always teach you how to paint. I think you’d take to it well, just as you have all of my lessons. However, I think first I should teach you how to stay still.’ He releases your arms then, only to grab your thighs and spread your leg until one hangs off the bed. ‘Think you can stay like this for me, my queen? I plan to make my portrait… highly detailed.’ One of his fingers strokes between your legs briefly, a little tease just to frustrate you. To think Alucard would barely touch you just a few months ago… he has certainly adapted quickly.

Alucard walks back to his painting, and you have to fight hard not to deliberately change your position just to tease him back. ‘So, my bare breasts aren’t enough for you? You plan to paint all your favourite parts of me?’ The only part of you that Alucard loves more is probably your lips, and he’s spent plenty of time with them already this morning.

Picking up his brush again, Alucard chuckles. ‘You should know that I’d find it impossible to choose a favourite part of you, although your breasts would definitely be a contender. No, this is entirely for my own perverse pleasure. It wouldn’t be a true representation of you if I didn’t paint every last inch.’ You’re still entirely convinced this is just an excuse to see you naked for a while, as if he actually needs one!

Still, there is a flaw in his argument. ‘Sorry to be so pedantic, but you can’t. If I’m on my back, you’re not going to be able to paint my ass.’ Against your better judgement, you roll over, wiggling your ass at Alucard to prove your point.

It takes Alucard a few moments to look at you, as distracted with the portrait as he is, but you know he’s noticed your change of position when he groans. ‘My love, I am quite serious. You promised me you would pose for me.’ You turn your head to face Alucard, and almost giggle when you see the pout on his face.

When Alucard keeps staring, you admit defeat, rolling onto your back and getting into position again. ‘I’m sorry, Adrian. It’s just so terribly dull, doing nothing, and I really am cold. My nipples feel like they might snap off at any moment!’ It doesn’t help that the castle is always cold, and that you’re usually only naked when you’ve got Alucard pinning you down onto the bed.

Alucard stares at your breasts, a spark of mischief in his eyes. ‘Your condition hasn’t gone unnoticed, I assure you. If it makes you feel better, your nipples are not the only thing going stiff thanks to your nudity.’ You glance down at the front of his trousers, and sure enough, you notice an enticing bulge forming exactly where you want it to be.

A wicked idea comes to mind, and you spread your legs as wide as you can. ‘Does it hurt, Adrian? I know my nipples are aching right now, so I imagine your cock isn’t doing much better…’ You watch as Alucard swallows, his bulge twitching at the unobscured view of you.

Shaking his head, Alucard turns his attention back to the portrait. ‘Nice try, my love, but I will complete my task. We shall have guests arriving for the wedding in a few weeks, and I want to get this done before we are man and wife.’ Wait, guests?! He’s been inviting people without mentioning it?!

You sit up, your seduction abandoned. ‘What guests? Why didn’t you mention it?’ Do you know them? Are they safe to be around? What if they’re vampires, and don’t approve of you being human?!

Alucard eyes roll in their sockets, and he abandons his brush again so he can walk over to you. ‘Trevor and Sypha, of course. I didn’t mention it because I assumed you’d be fine with me inviting my only friends to the happiest day of my life.’ Oh. Oh course, you should have realised that sooner. Well, if it’s just Trevor and Sypha…

It’s your turn to sigh. ‘I’m sorry, Adrian. I suppose it’s just nerves talking. Of course I want Trevor and Sypha at our wedding. They’ll be welcome.’ They’ll be in scarce company, but that suits you fine; as long as you can still marry, nothing else is important.

Alucard smiles. ‘Good. I promise I shall consult you on all other wedding matters. I want it to be a day that both of us remember fondly.’ You don't doubt that he’ll get that wish, especially when you show off the dress that you and Miriam designed together. If it’s half as beautiful as it looks in Sylvia’s sketchbook, it’s going to take Alucard’s breath away.

Laying back down, you do your best to replicate your earlier position. ‘It’ll be the happiest day of my life. Now, shouldn’t you go back to painting? I’ll be good and keep still, I promise.’ Even if you’ve been less than cooperative this far… but this time you mean it!

Chuckling, Alucard grabs your wrists, this time pinning you rather than repositioning. ‘I’m not entirely certain I believe you. You are a terrible fidget.’ You stick your tongue out in response, and Alucard’s smile warps into a wicked smirk. ‘Perhaps I ought to tire you out a little? It could be to my benefit. Add a splash of red to your cheeks, a faint purple in the places I grab slightly too tight… and of course, a generous amount of white between your legs. A true work of art…’ He leans in then, his lips mere centimetres from yours. You just have to tilt your head up, and…

Alucard pulls himself away just before you reach him, laughing when his actions earn him a groan. ‘Unfortunately for my artistic vision, you would enjoy that far too much for it to count as a punishment. A true pity. I do so crave the feeling of making love to the woman I adore…’ One of his hands leaves your wrist, and he trails his fingers down your arm before cupping a breast. ‘Such beauty is so rare in this world that I can offer no comparison. I know not which part of you I love the most. To think that in no time at all, you are going to be my bride… oh, but painting is so terribly dull, isn’t it? Let’s make love instead, just for a while.’ He brings his mouth down onto your neck and you gasp, Alucard’s hand tugging at your nipple as the other one keeps you pinned.

You’re quick to hook a leg around Alucard’s waist, trying to bring his body closer. ‘You’re insatiable, Adrian, but I’m not complaining. If you think painting is dull, you should try laying still.’ You’re just glad a delightful alternative has presented itself; there are few things you enjoy more than making love to Alucard. 

Alucard hums his agreement into your neck, his fangs lightly brushing against your skin as he teases your nipple further. ‘Oh, but you’re such an exquisite muse. Your body itself is like a work of art, perfectly sculpted and so painfully soft to the touch…’ his hand moves from your breast to grab at your thigh, firmly enough that you’re certain to bruise. ‘I find it so hard to keep my hands off you now. I crave the connection I feel every time we make love. I have become so hopelessly addicted to you. My muse, my queen, my pretty little thief… Do you think less of me for this? For craving you so much I can hardly stand it sometimes? Do you think me shallow for desiring sex when there are so many other ways for me to enjoy you?’ Whatever those other ways are, as far as you’re concerned, they can wait; there is a far more pressing concern rubbing against your inner thigh.

Unable to pull Alucard’s head back due to your imprisonment, you sigh. ‘You do enjoy me in other ways, Adrian, just as I enjoy you. There is nothing wrong with two lovers wanting to make love, and I’d never think you shallow because I know it is me you love, not my body. But I am growing impatient, and you are far too overdressed.’ Even without his shirt, there is still an offensive amount of clothing on Alucard's body, especially when compared to your total nudity.

Abandoning your thigh, Alucard makes a show of slowly teasing his trousers open, pulling his head away from your neck so he can look you in the eyes. ‘I do love you. Desperately so. Down to the last inch…’ He bends his head down to take a nipple into his mouth, and you hear the faint sound of his trousers being shoved down as you squeeze your eyes shut with pleasure. 

Squirming against his ministrations, you try to free your wrists, letting out a whine of frustration when Alucard grips them harder. ‘I want to touch you. Please let me touch you.’ Even though it’s been less than a day since you let your hands wander down his firm chest and toned arms, it feels like a lifetime, especially when his bare skin is so tantalisingly close.

Alucard draws his head away from your nipple. ‘That depends. Are you going to behave the next time I paint you?’ His head moves to the other nipple, this time roughly tugging on the stiff flesh with his teeth as his words sink in; this is a punishment, after all. It’s just far more delightful than any punishment should be.

Well, if Alucard thinks you’re a bad girl, who are you to prove him wrong?

With your foot still near his waist, you help shove his trousers down further, making sure you pull his underwear down with them. 

Alucard grunts as his erection springs free, and you waste no time wrapping your leg firmly around him and pushing your hips up, making sure he gets a taste of just how wet you are before falling back down to the bed.

Abandoning your nipple, Alucard cries out, looking up at you with half-open eyes. ‘Even restrained you are more than a handful. Is that your way of telling me to take you? If so, then someone is about to get her wish…’ his free hand moves between your legs, and he slides two fingers inside of you easily. ‘So ready for me. I think you rather like it when I look at your body. I doubt you’d get this aroused from touch alone…’ You’d take the time to argue with him, to tell him that a slight touch is sometimes all it takes, but he’s too busy working his fingers in and out of you for you to care, especially when he sets his mouth onto your breasts again, sucking and biting at the soft flesh indiscriminately.

Then, without warning, he stops.

You’re about to ask why, until you feel his grip on your wrists disappear, that hand gripping your waist as the other one guides him inside you.

You and Alucard cry out in unison as he slowly pushes in, your eyes falling shut as you savour the feeling. No matter how often he does this, you never tire of the feeling of your body welcoming him inside. It’s always so perfect, like he was made for you…

Alucard buries his face in the crook of your neck as he settles inside you, his breathing strained even as he tries to talk. ‘We could make love… a thousand times… and yet every time… it would feel like the first. I’ll never stop marvelling over how complete I feel when I’m with you like this. I only wish… no, it isn’t important. I won’t spoil this. You and I are all that matters in the world, and that is that.’ You’d ask him what he means if you weren’t too busy running your hands through his hair and over his shoulders, making up for the time you lost earlier.

When he realises what you’re doing, Alucard chuckles, before taking both your hands and interlocking your fingers with his own. ‘Nice try, my love, but I am quite serious about punishing you.’ The playful look in his eyes tells you he’s not even a little bit serious about it, but if this is how he wants to play it, then so be it; with his hands now pinning yours to the bed, he won’t be able to touch you either.

That doesn’t seem to bother him in the slightest as he leans his body back, putting his weight onto your interlocking hands as he starts to move inside you. Using the leg still around his waist, you try your best to meet his lazy thrusts, gasping every time your joint efforts send him deeper inside you, your body heating up with pleasure. 

You expect Alucard to speed up his thrusts, to take you until the climax you can feel building up inside from his steady lovemaking makes you scream, but he doesn’t. He just keeps his pace even, staring into your eyes as he leans over you again. ‘I love you. I know I say it often, but I need you to know that it is an absolute truth. One of the few things I’m certain of in this world. I love you, and I will dedicate my life to showing you that you are right to love me back. I can’t give you all the things I’d like to, like other men could, but I’m going to try. Whatever I have to do, I’ll make us both happy, I promise. As long as you stay by my side, I’ll do whatever it takes…’ As if you could be any happier. The only thing you want more is to marry him, and that is happening. Well, except for maybe…

Oh. Is that what’s bothering him?

You shake your head fondly, leaning up briefly to kiss him. ‘One day… I’ll let you turn me, if we can do it like this. Making love… and then you bite me. Just like that first night. Then we can be with each other forever…’ Alucard stills inside you, and for a moment you worry you’ve said something wrong.

The soft smile on Alucard’s face says otherwise. ‘One day, my love, but it makes my heart soar that you’d do such a thing for me…’ He brings his lips down to capture yours, and his movements become frantic, one of his hands abandoning yours so he can stroke your clit.

You break the kiss so you can moan his name, your hips moving wildly. ‘Adrian, I love you, I…’ your free hand grabs onto his shoulder as you start to fall apart around him, legs twitching as your climax overtakes you.

Alucard is quick to follow, bringing himself to his knees as his other hand leaves yours so it can grab at your thigh. You can feel his own thighs twitching with effort against your ass as he spills himself inside you, his eyes closing with effort as he keeps your body tight to his. 

As both your breathing settles, you move to pull away, only for Alucard to grab you harder and open his eyes. ‘Just a few moments, my love. For my sake.’ For his sake? What’s so important about staying connected like this? It’s almost uncomfortable, with the way your body is tilt-

Wait. This was never about turning you, was it? That wasn’t the promise he was thinking of making…

Reaching down, you place your hands over his, smiling softly. ‘Adrian, it’s okay. I know we can’t have children, and I accept that. You don’t have to torture yourself over it.’ How long has he been feeling like this?

Alucard sighs, finally loosening his grip and allowing himself to slide out. ‘It’s silly, isn’t it? Here I am, praying for a miracle when I’ve already used up my fair share of them. I suppose I’ve been thinking about it in the back of my mind ever since that day in my childhood bedroom, but seeing you with Seth triggered something in me. For the first time in my life, I want so desperately to be wrong about something, but I know I’m not. It’s almost cruel, really, but what do I expect? Perhaps I am being punished for my father’s sins by never being allowed to be a father myself…’  
A tear falls from Alucard’s eyes, but he’s quick to push it away. ‘I know I’ve little right to feel sorry for myself, but there it is.’ He’s been feeling like this for that long? And he hasn’t mentioned it?

You’re quick to sit and wrap your arms around him, unsurprised when you feel him cry into your neck. ‘I understand, my love. It isn’t fair that you can’t have children, because you would be such a kind and loving father. But it’s okay. There are so many children that need love in the world, and maybe one day, we’ll take one in as our own. But if we can’t, or we don’t, that’s okay, too. For now, we just focus on the two of us. You’re not the only one who used up their miracles, Adrain Tepes, but you never know. If things are truly meant to be, we might have one more left in us both.’ You know from experience that there are children out there who need parents as much as Alucard wants to be a parent; there’s always time.

Alucard talks a deep breath, moving his head back so he can cup your cheek. ‘You really were made for me, Mrs Tepes. Well, I suppose we’re a few weeks off from that, but it will come soon enough. For now, give me a moment to calm down, and I’ll finish painting you. Your skin has flushed out rather nicely thanks to our little break.’ One day, you’ll find out how Alucard can hide his emotions so quickly, but for now, you’re happy to be off the subject; it hurts to see Alucard in such pain. 

You only hope his friends will be able to put his mind at ease.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So again we apologize for the delay. I hope this chapter was enjoyable, now I have some semi-bad news. So due to recent events, both our mental health has taken a turn for the worst, we are seeking help to get it sorted. But until our mental health is more stable, we'll have to postpone all our works for now. We appreciate you all and are forever so thankful for your kind words and patience ;w; Once we are better, than we'll be back to our updates~ Until then everyone stay safe <3 
> 
> PS: Wish Littlest Raindrop an early birthday ;) Their birthday is on Wednesday~
> 
> PSS: Just to beat them to the punch, mine was the 12th :P

**Author's Note:**

> As I said, more shall be coming soon :)
> 
> Any feedback y'all have is obviously very important, and greatly appreciated, so if you did enjoy, let us know with a comment or a kudos (Or both, if you're feeling especially kind :3)
> 
> For now, thank you for taking the time to read this. It's greatly appreciated ^.^

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cacoethes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28697592) by [Atari_Irata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atari_Irata/pseuds/Atari_Irata)




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